MBMBaM 756: King Fuck of Bastard Mountain

Summary

Summary of MBMBaM 756: "King Fuck of Bastard Mountain"

Release Date: March 31, 2025
Podcast: My Brother, My Brother and Me
Hosts: Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy

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Introduction

In episode 756 of My Brother, My Brother and Me titled "King Fuck of Bastard Mountain," the McElroy brothers dive deep into their signature blend of humor, candid discussions, and off-the-wall advice. Released on March 31, 2025, this episode continues their tradition of providing unconventional guidance to listeners, peppered with memorable quotes and entertaining banter.

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Swear Word Statistics

A significant portion of the episode centers around an analysis of the brothers' usage of profanity over their extensive podcast history.

• Jimmy O's Update:
  Jimmy O provides the brothers with detailed statistics on their swear word usage from episodes spanning 2010 to 2024.

  • Total Swears: 9,811 across 443 episodes
  • Current Rankings:
    • Justin: 2,088 swears
    • Travis: 2,000 swears
    • Griffin: 4,952 swears
  • Notable Shift: Griffin emerges as the "king fuck of Bastard Mountain," significantly increasing his swear count.

• Discussion Highlights:

  • Griffin McElroy (02:25): “I need to get right with Christ. There is no other way to say it.”
  • The brothers humorously debate the implications of their swear statistics, with Griffin expressing concern over his high count and Justin lamenting the potential for catchphrase fatigue.

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Crotch Chop Demonstration

Transitioning from statistics, the conversation shifts to wrestling culture, specifically the "crotch chop" gesture.

• Explanation & Demonstration:

  • Griffin McElroy (09:57): Describes the crotch chop as a powerful gesture in both wrestling and social media platforms like TikTok.
  • Justin requests a live demonstration to ensure listeners understand the move.

• Wrestling Integration:
  The brothers brainstorm how the crotch chop could evolve within vampire mythology, blending their interests in wrestling and supernatural themes.

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Do Not Disturb Firewall & Dad's Phone Issues

A humorous yet relatable segment tackles the challenges of communicating with their dad, who perpetually has his phone on "Do Not Disturb."

• Technical Troubles:

  • Justin McElroy (15:07): Explains the recurring issue where their dad's phone automatically engages Do Not Disturb mode, hindering text communications.
  • The brothers joke about their dad's obliviousness and the futility of trying to change his notification settings.

• Advice for Listeners:
  While the segment is light-hearted, it subtly touches on the broader theme of generational communication gaps in the digital age.

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Fashion Faux Pas & Reversible Clothing

Shifting gears, the McElroys delve into the realm of fashion, critiquing modern trends and proposing innovative solutions.

• Reversible Jackets:

  • Justin McElroy (25:29): Advocates for the return of reversible jackets, highlighting their versatility and practicality.
  • Griffin McElroy (25:35): Expands on the concept, suggesting materials that are both stylish and functional, such as denim on one side and waterproof nylon on the other.

• Office Fashion Battles:
  The brothers humorously discuss the awkwardness of unintentionally matching outfits with their boss, exploring strategies to differentiate their styles without direct confrontation.

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"Munch Squad" - A Podcast Within a Podcast

Introducing "Munch Squad," a new sub-segment, the brothers explore the latest trends in eating, particularly wings.

• Buffalo Wild Wings Collaboration:

  • Justin McElroy (32:20): Announces a partnership with Buffalo Wild Wings (BW3s), promoting their quirky March Madness vision goggles.
  • Griffin McElroy (38:05): Provides a comedic critique of the goggles, questioning their practicality and aesthetic appeal.

• Listener Engagement:
  The segment encourages listeners to engage with BW3s' promotional content, blending product promotion with the show's characteristic humor.

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Venturing into Professional Wrestling

Towards the episode's conclusion, the McElroys address a listener's query about entering the world of professional wrestling.

• Getting Started in Wrestling:

  • Justin McElroy (42:16): Relays advice from Griffin, suggesting that newcomers watch key episodes of "Raw" and "Smackdown" without delving too deeply into the extensive lore.
  • Griffin McElroy (46:50): Offers a tongue-in-cheek perspective on the physical demands of wrestling, highlighting its intense nature beyond the on-screen dramatics.

• Cultural Commentary:
  The discussion touches on the performative aspects of wrestling and its appeal as a blend of athletics and storytelling.

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Closing Remarks

The episode wraps up with a mix of gratitude for their supporters, promotions for upcoming live shows in various cities, and shout-outs to collaborators like Montaigne and their merch partners.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Griffin McElroy (53:27): “My brother, My brother. Be kiss your dad. Squirrel the lips.”
  • Justin McElroy (56:04): “Maximum fun! A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by…”

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Conclusion

MBMBaM 756: "King Fuck of Bastard Mountain" exemplifies the McElroy brothers' unique ability to blend humor, personal anecdotes, and unconventional advice. From dissecting their own profanity usage to exploring the nuances of fashion and wrestling, the episode offers a rich tapestry of discussions that entertain and engage listeners, whether they're long-time fans or newcomers tuning in for the first time.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Griffin McElroy (02:25): “I need to get right with Christ. There is no other way to say it.”
• Griffin McElroy (09:57): “That's cool because traditionally when you cross your arms X over something, you're saying like no to it.”
• Justin McElroy (15:07): “The only possibility is that dad swipes up to do something else.”
• Justin McElroy (25:29): “You know what we need to bring back and need to normalize reversible clothing.”
• Griffin McElroy (38:05): “It is sold out now. But they sold something for no reason.”
• Justin McElroy (42:16): “In your opinion, how should we start watching professional wrestling?”
• Griffin McElroy (46:50): “The anatomy of a wrestling match is 70% panting.”

This structure ensures that the summary is comprehensive, organized, and infused with the podcast's authentic voice, making it accessible and engaging for both regular listeners and newcomers.

Transcript

[Griffin McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

[Travis McElroy]

It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into a precious friends I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life, it feels like it's better it's better with you My life, it's better it's better with you this is true it's better it's better with.

[Justin McElroy]

Two.

It'S better with you hello everybody, and welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me, an advice show for the Modron era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

What up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middlest brother, Travis. Vroom vroom, McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, what's up? This is Griffin McElroy. The youngest brother built Ford Tuff. What are we doing today, guys?

[Justin McElroy]

Did you see that? I shortened. I shortened. I did.

[Griffin McElroy]

I felt good. And I'll be honest, Trav, I felt like you were giving me a little bit more room to play. Cause sometimes I worry about catchphrase fatigue by the time it gets around to me. But it does feel like you're leaving me a little bit of corn on the cob for me. On the big corn cob. Share.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm gonna be faster than fear of someone else talking.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, that's a good one. You would describe your relationship with other people talking as a fear?

[Justin McElroy]

Well. Cause it's so boring, you know, when someone else talks and it's just not as good. Hey, we got an update from Jimmy O regarding our Jimmy O. Our swear data.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, I was gonna say swear stats. Much, much love, Jimmy O. I don't remember who that is.

[Justin McElroy]

But now Jimmy O gave us our at that point, I think only a couple years on what curse words he'd said the most. And I think last episode we talked about like curse words we used the most and things like that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can I just say before we get to it, Jimmy O, thanks for sending all that stuff to our dad. Got me in a lot of fucking trouble, Jimmy. Oh, when dad found out how much I cuss, I got in so much trouble, Jimmy O. I'm coming for you.

[Justin McElroy]

I do. Like now I have an image too, of like Every time we cuss, Jimmy being like. And having to, like, go into, like, an abacus and, like, sliding one bead over to the right.

[Griffin McElroy]

Dark, sticky abacus.

[Justin McElroy]

So at this point, Jimmy has gone through 443 episodes where he could find the transcripts from 2010 to 2024. So in 443 episodes collectively.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

9811 swears.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, once we get to 10,000, Malcolm Gladwell says we'll finally be pretty good at it.

[Justin McElroy]

Yep. Interestingly, there's been a shake up in the rankings.

[Griffin McElroy]

No freaking way.

[Justin McElroy]

I am no longer in those in that count. The cleanest brother.

Wow.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wait, is it me?

[Justin McElroy]

No.

Griffin? No. God, no. Justin. Justin, 2088. Travis, 2000, 282. Griffin, 4952.

[Griffin McElroy]

I need to get. I gotta get right with Christ. There is no other way to say it.

[Justin McElroy]

That is not. That is not okay. That's not a slight difference. That's not.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's a doubling.

[Justin McElroy]

It's more than both of me and Justin put together.

What's wrong with you?

[Griffin McElroy]

I am worried sometimes that the things I'm saying aren't gonna hit. And I do feel like sometimes putting a little bit of cursing in there is like putting a little bit of. Putting an extra shot of espresso. Espresso.

[Justin McElroy]

Skewed humor.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's not even skewed, Travis. It does nothing to change the perspective or content of the thoughts.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm a little worried, honestly, that my number is higher just from how much we've talked about Griffin's language on the show. Like to discuss Griffin's language. I'm cautious about even participating because I don't want to get down in the gutter where his mind is now. Scares me.

Jimmy does say, Justin, that you have the most variety in your swears.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, that's even. I almost did it just there. That's even worse for me because that means that I'm cussing a lot with the same ones. I'm guessing F is up there.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, Justin's the only one brave enough to say anal escort and cocksucker on the air.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wait, hold on.

[Justin McElroy]

Escort Jimmy now. Hold on.

[Griffin McElroy]

Anal Jimmy? Anal Jimmy.

[Justin McElroy]

O. Now, Griffin talks about escorts a lot, but I don't think of that as a profane act.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I also call my proctologist my anal escort because he is the one who kind of guides me down that strange and winding path.

[Justin McElroy]

Gryffon also doesn't know how to pronounce analgesic, and I don't know if There is some sort of thing in the words here that maybe is misinterpreted.

[Griffin McElroy]

And I talk a lot about the just sort of insufferable escort missions from metal gear solid 2, Sons of Liberty.

[Justin McElroy]

A lot.

[Griffin McElroy]

And yet, are these being counted against me? Jimmy O. Anal. Anal.

[Justin McElroy]

Jimmy O. I will say I'm going.

To have to see the dictionary you're plugging these into to get this sort of data.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Now, they would let you say anal and escort on Club Penguin. So I think it's probably okay on my brother. My brother me. Don't you think?

[Justin McElroy]

Now for stock analysts, for market analysts. Analysts, yeah. Surprising news. Anus is on the rise. 79% per year.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's exciting information.

[Justin McElroy]

The anus is really expensive.

[Griffin McElroy]

Weirdly, anal is down, anus is up. So we're talking about it in the. What is that present participle tense a lot more often these days. Which is fine.

[Justin McElroy]

Let's just say let's get the witch hazel out. The anal's really expanding. We've got to bring it in.

So, ass. Okay. We've got some breakdown of the top three.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Ass. 728 total.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

8% of Justin swears are ass. 8% of Griffins are ass. 5% of Travis.

[Griffin McElroy]

Jimmy O. That's pretty deep intel, my friend. You've really crunched the numbers on this one. Jimmy O.

[Justin McElroy]

Now, interesting. A shocking. I would say upset shit outpaced. Fuck.

[Griffin McElroy]

No way.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, shit. 3,000, 610. Now, who do you think said shit the most?

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know. Probably me. Just because of just law of large.

[Justin McElroy]

Numbers, 43% of Griffin's curse words are shit.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

29% of Justin's swears are shit.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

37%. So I outpaced Justin on shit.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's cool.

[Justin McElroy]

Right behind Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Now, where are we at? I'm still king of bastards, right?

[Justin McElroy]

I still look at magic.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm still riding high on Bastard Mountain. Right.

[Justin McElroy]

I have to imagine. Fuck, 2189.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

21% of Justin swears are fuck. Interesting. Griffin and I neck and neck 24% of our swears. Now, Griffin is still. Can't stress enough, almost 5,000. Why? I'm at like 2,000, so per capita, a lot more fucks are gripped.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm king fuck of Bastard Mountain. Absolutely.

[Justin McElroy]

You guys are. I would ask Jimmy. I think that these conversations should be excised.

Yeah. This is clinical stuff because I feel.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like this doesn't count. Jamie, we can't talk about this unless we use.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm allergic to bad signs, Jimmy. Well, give me one moment. You see, James, this is a clinical discussion. And by inserting yourself into the data, you have compromised it. So we are needing to quarantine off this fucking hot fucking jizz joint. Fox Fuck ass.

Wait.

Yeah, wait.

[Griffin McElroy]

Jimmy's not listening.

[Justin McElroy]

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm a real piss dick.

[Justin McElroy]

Crouch crouched. Ain't no piss, Travis.

[Griffin McElroy]

Crotch chop. Jimmy.

[Justin McElroy]

O with us. Hey, Jimmy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, Jimmy, what are you talking about?

[Justin McElroy]

I'm starting to lose all meaning the crotch chop, though, if I do it too much.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are you kidding me? I never see a crotch chop out there. Whenever anyone I see hit anyone else with a crotch chop, it takes my breath away.

[Justin McElroy]

Seriously, I love a lackadaisical crotch chop.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, just walking around. When I see someone bust out a while, I am just out in public. It's like the food critic scene in Ratatouille. Just like the camera zooms into my face and I remember myself telling everybody, fucking knock.

[Justin McElroy]

I thought our band's drum line invented the crotch chop. I thought that our cause I didn't watch wrestling, so I thought that we just had a really cool drum line that had the really vibe all their own.

[Griffin McElroy]

The crotch chop is so cool for so many reasons. I think the best reason is because traditionally when you cross your arms X over something, you're saying like no to it. So the crotch chop would be like a sort of cool for TikTok.

[Justin McElroy]

Griffin, can you demonstrate the crotch chop? Because I feel like people don't know.

You can ask what it is.

You have to visibly.

Yeah. Move the mic.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Headphones off.

That's better.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Powerful.

Whoa, whoa.

He's doing it.

That's good. It's really good.

And what's great. Hey, Griffin, can you get back on headphones for a second just for the podcast? So, Griffin, as you know, vampires are very popular. Can you go from like a vampire rising from the crypt to a crotch chop in one fluid kind of swing? Cause I think that could be the next thing.

[Griffin McElroy]

So it could be like.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, right. I think that that could be a powerful new thing in vampire mythology.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's so many wrestlers across the WWE and AEW who are flirting with being a vampire. And I really wish someone would finally just like, fucking do it.

[Justin McElroy]

It'd be cool if they did like a just like wrestling. But they were monsters.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like, I mean, there is Kaiju. Big battle. There are some folks fucking with that, but I do. I would love to see that in.

[Justin McElroy]

The mainstream universal, you're trying to monsters.

Universe going yeah, this is a wrestling idea for free.

Oh, please.

They had one that is supposedly AI yet.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, that's cool. Like their body.

[Justin McElroy]

They had a wrestler who's like. Is just. Is AI.

Like, is so not a robot.

No, is like is powered completely by AI.

Oh, okay.

It's an AI powered wrestler, like in.

Meet Dave. But that's a little bit. Yeah, sure.

Yeah, that's perfect.

Yeah. Now what would be great, Justin, is if they did that. But for the first like 20 or so matches, they kept just like walking aimlessly into like a turn style, like turnbuckle, right. And like the ropes and everything. And it took the. Took the AI a while to figure out like what. How to wrestle. Right. How to do it. Right.

[Griffin McElroy]

Apparently there was a tag team. Bill Eady was Super Machine and there was a giant machine dressed up like robots. Giant machine played by, of course, Andre the Giant. Ooh, I bet that went down pretty smooth.

[Justin McElroy]

I would love that.

Sorry, you're saying somewhere is there an image of Andre the Giant dressed as a robot or are we just like. Are you keeping that to yourself or where you at?

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, let's go ahead and check it.

[Justin McElroy]

No, no, that's been wiped from the Internet for being too hot for tv.

[Griffin McElroy]

God damn it, AI, you're so fucking foolish all the time. This is. I searched Andre the Joe. Andre the Giant.

[Justin McElroy]

Andre the Joe Bot dressed as a wrestler.

[Griffin McElroy]

Andre the Giant robot wrestling. Fucking Google. AI was like, well, Andre the Giant never wrestled robots. He was a highly successful professional wrestler. Is that what you thought? I was asking, did Andre the Giant ever wrestle robots? It sounds like AI got scared by the question and answered too fast and then was probably like, well, nobody wrestles robots. What the fuck am I talking about?

[Justin McElroy]

I'm dumb. Last data point. By the end of the 443 episodes, our average swearing went from 20 swears per ep to 22 swears. Swears per app and counting.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's just inflation.

[Justin McElroy]

I think we can. Yeah, that's true.

That's just more about how much things cost. So that's inflation.

That's how inflation works.

That's how inflation works.

Read a book.

How would you guys feel about helping people?

Oh, I'd love it, Justin.

[Griffin McElroy]

I would love to. For me. Thanks.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm a fast paced girl and I love making plants with my friends.

[Griffin McElroy]

Same, same.

[Justin McElroy]

Yep. Unfortunately.

I love this book that you're writing, Justin. This teen fiction. Yeah, about like a girl who turns into a car or is parked car. Anyways, go.

I'm a fast paced girl and I love making plans with my friends. Unfortunately, they're not always glued to their phone, waiting on my every word. How long is it polite to wait for confirmation to plans before I reach out to another friend to see if they're free instead? Is there a polite way to say there's an extended time frame? I need a response by probably not. Please help brothers. That's from impatient Indiana. Invite.

[Griffin McElroy]

I love.

[Justin McElroy]

I. This gets me.

[Griffin McElroy]

It gets me, too. And I really love how much you just own it. My friends have to get on my fucking level if they want to get with me. How quickly can I drop these fucking zeros from.

[Justin McElroy]

The word chill is not in this question.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, not chill at all. But that's cool because you're like, this is me, this is us, and this is how I roll. Help me.

[Justin McElroy]

And there are times where time is of the essence.

[Griffin McElroy]

Absolutely right.

[Justin McElroy]

Where, like, you have two tickets to a thing happening that day or something. Right? And it's just like I asked you. I haven't gotten an answer yet. Time is ticking. And you run the risk of asking someone else. And then person one comes back and they're like, I'd love to. And then you gotta be like, oh, you missed it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Donald Faison is at this farmer's market.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Get your ass down here. It looks like he's wrapping up. If you don't get a response to that in 60 seconds, first of all, you need to really consider whether or not that person is a true acquaintance or not.

[Justin McElroy]

And a true Phaison fan.

[Griffin McElroy]

A true Faison. And then they should have text notifications.

[Justin McElroy]

Set up specifically for Faison.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, you can disturb. You can break the do not disturb firewall if there's any kind of Faison encounter at all. Do not sweat it, guys. I will not be correct.

[Justin McElroy]

Let's talk about the do not disturb firewall specifically in context with Clinton Emil McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's an interesting one. And I. Can I say I've been waiting to unpack. I like. I like this strategy a lot.

[Justin McElroy]

And I love my dad.

[Griffin McElroy]

I love my dad, too.

[Justin McElroy]

And this is.

Okay, so dad, it says when you try to text dad. And it has been this way for a very. I'm just going to double check. Okay. When you try to text dad, it says, dad has notification silenced. Yes, always. Yes, like always. And this is not. That's not that surprising. Right? Because. Okay, that's just. Whatever. I get it. That's a very visible symbol you're sending the world. Dad insists that he doesn't know how it Keeps happening.

This is the claim.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is the claim. This is the thing. This is the thing.

[Justin McElroy]

And this is a man who routinely pretends to be bad at things that I know he has done. Like, he is not. He's at least 10% not as bad as he appears to be.

This man is. This man has beaten the Elden Ring videotape. Like, he has solved more complex things. He programmed many VCRs in his day. He knows how to work it.

And phones only do certain things.

More than that. This man has handed me his phone, said, I don't know, juice. It just keeps happening. And I'll see the do not Disturb is turned on, and I'll go into his phone, I'll turn it off.

[Griffin McElroy]

I swipe and attack literally all the.

[Justin McElroy]

Schedule to see that it's, like, turned it back. No schedule, nothing like that. It's off. And then I'll go to text his man. Literally an hour later. Yeah, do not Disturb is on. And it's not a glitch. He doesn't respond to text messages.

Yeah. The only possibility is that dad swipes up to do something else, and then he goes, I like the moon, and just hits the moon button.

[Griffin McElroy]

He probably does get stoked.

[Justin McElroy]

Activate moon Mo. I like the moon. Yeah, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

Lunar powered, anti gravity. Go.

[Justin McElroy]

So every time you text dad, you then have to push the button. It's like, notify him anyway. Yeah, I'm not gonna play the game.

[Griffin McElroy]

I kind of enjoy having your phone be sort of like a P.O. box that you can go and interact with other people at your leisure. And that is what is expected in society.

[Justin McElroy]

That would hear. You boys have a lot better grasp on interacting with human beings in a normal way than I do.

[Griffin McElroy]

Bold of you to say, but sometimes. Please continue in this regard.

[Justin McElroy]

How gauche would it be to group text people to say, I got one ticket, first come, first serve.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, that's cool, right?

[Justin McElroy]

Like private me off the chain, off thread.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

Right.

But you have four tickets. Okay, so you're creating urgency where there is no urgency.

That's not what I was doing. Yeah, man.

I'm sorry, Trav. I misunderstood. I thought we were lying.

Oh, no, but I'm just saying, like, I'm pitting people against each other for my love.

Right.

The other one would be to text with the phrase, this is a limited time offer at the end. And I don't know how you guys feel about that.

[Griffin McElroy]

There should be.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, I guess while supplies last, maybe.

[Griffin McElroy]

I know everybody's, like, wild about using these alternative messaging programs. To coordinate war and stuff. But also people are like, yeah, man, you can do it super secret. So the thing disappears really fast. Is this why it is? Because then you can be like, hey, what's up? Head into the the Donald Faison show. Got one ticket left. Are you?

[Justin McElroy]

In two minutes, set Faison to Stein.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's the name of his one man comedy show that he does. Are you fucking in? This message will self destruct in two minutes.

[Justin McElroy]

That's an interrupt. Maybe we should normalize unsending messages a few minutes after you send them. Yeah, maybe it's like you get it? It's like, nope, I deleted it.

[Griffin McElroy]

You didn't get that?

[Justin McElroy]

I don't know what it said.

Yeah, weird.

[Griffin McElroy]

If I said, hey, Justin, do you want to go to the fucking Faison show with me tonight? And then you stood there and looked at me silently for two minutes. Do you think that I'm going to continue to offer this social engagement offer rescinded?

[Justin McElroy]

No, this is also why we should. And listen, it's a bit of a throwback, but normalize. Valets who go to your friend's home with a silver platter with the invitation written on it and then they bring back a response, you know, and you just get the card right there. One, Jobs creator, that's number one. Two, a lot more silver trays moving about in the world. That's production right there.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

You know what I'm saying? This is gonna be good for the economy in a lot of ways.

[Griffin McElroy]

I feel uncomfortable when I doordash some Pepto Bismol because I'm afraid I won't be able to make it to the CVS and back in my condition. I'm so self conscious about that. The idea that I would ever use a similar service so that someone could roll up to a friend's house and be like, hey, you can go and be on COD tonight. Griffin asks. He paid me $6 plus a $9 service fee to ask you COD tonight.

[Justin McElroy]

I will say though, man Jobs creator. The other day that reminded me of a funny. The other day the girls and I took the girls to Lowe's. We needed some gardening stuff and I got the girls those extra large lollipop things that they have at checkout.

[Griffin McElroy]

Love that. Later. Like big spherical ones or like.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, like the ones that are like wrapped up, you know, that are like.

The ones where they have flavors other than cotton candy and bubble gum, but what's the point?

[Griffin McElroy]

But the flavors also slap ass. Why don't they make smaller lollipops taste that good.

[Justin McElroy]

It's the kind of lollipop where it's like, no child could finish this in a day, let alone a single setting. Anyway.

[Griffin McElroy]

It could finish a child, though. With what, A huge choking hazard?

[Justin McElroy]

One of my dogs, Lily, destroyed one of those lollipops when my child wasn't looking. So I.

[Griffin McElroy]

Good on your dog, man. That's an ambitious.

[Justin McElroy]

No, she's too powerful. And so I had to go back to Lowe's before my child discovered this to replace a lollipop. So what this looked like from a Lowe's perspective because it was different. Checkout people. I walked in, walked straight to the checkout, got a single lollipop. Hello.

[Griffin McElroy]

Did you say anything? Like, I'm just here for the pops.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank God. Self checkout was open, but still there's an attendant there. Scan the lollipop.

Sorry, sorry. Jobs remover? Yeah, sorry.

[Griffin McElroy]

Good.

[Justin McElroy]

I just want to keep track. We've gotten rid of what we're having.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yo, get on this.

[Justin McElroy]

The woman who was the attendant did strike up a conversation with me about my purple hair as I was checking out. Single blueberries and cream lollipop.

[Griffin McElroy]

Travis, I don't feel like you. You're so far gone. I don't think you can appreciate how fucking stealth mode I am able to go at a. At a Lowe's or a Home Depot. I have nothing to comment on.

[Justin McElroy]

Breaking news.

[Griffin McElroy]

I have nothing to comment on.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm going to grow back out to regular hair color.

[Griffin McElroy]

Is this true?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. Because I want to see. So it's getting pretty long now. And I can see.

Now we're recording, right?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I can see we can do aesthetic updates here on the show.

[Justin McElroy]

I can see some gray in there, and I want to see what I'm rocking with. I'm excited to go gray.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And I'm already pretty thrown out.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm looking forward to some of those comments. Travis, starting to erk away from my direction, where every comment is mostly about my progress on my slow, inevitable march to the grave.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, you all know we read those comments. Like, they look so old, I can't even look at them. It makes me sad to look at.

[Griffin McElroy]

These fucking crypt keepers.

[Justin McElroy]

What does this mean about that?

[Griffin McElroy]

What's sad?

[Justin McElroy]

They've aged. We're on the Internet every fucking day.

[Griffin McElroy]

Come look at it. We are Truman showing ourselves. How are you not noticing these?

[Justin McElroy]

Blame the algorithm if you don't see how we're aging, because we're laying it all out there.

Yeah, man, There ain't no hiding.

[Griffin McElroy]

We Are a shitty time lapse of most of a life, I hope. Jesus Christ, we can keep this thing going that long. Where are we?

[Justin McElroy]

It's like boyhood, but for old men.

It would be nice to have that sort of job security. My boss is a he him dude in his mid-50s and I a she. Her gal in her early 40s keep twinning unintentionally. The accident is made more awkward by the fact that we don't like each other and thus we avoid acknowledging the mistake. It's happened three times and every time it's more embarrassing. Going forward, how can I avoid dressing like my boss? Please limit advice to solutions that do not involve me not directly addressing him. That's from drab dressed recurringly as boss. I want to thank you for the guardrails you've put on this from the word go. I appreciate it.

It's nice to have bumper bowling sometimes. You know what I mean?

It makes it easier.

[Griffin McElroy]

I lost track of the double negative. A little bit of. Please limit advice to solutions that do not involve me not directly addressing him.

[Justin McElroy]

I think there's an extra knot in there.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, okay.

[Justin McElroy]

She's not gonna talk to her boss, period. That's out.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay. I thought she must talk to her boss. She's ready to really drag his ass down and is looking for some tips, some great shit to say. And we couldn't do that. So it's probably the other one.

[Justin McElroy]

There's an. Okay, listen, I know this isn't what you asked, and I normally don't do this, Answer a question that wasn't asked, but who wore it better?

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, yes.

[Justin McElroy]

You know what I mean? If you don't like your boss and when you twin, you're outdoing your boss.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Is that so bad?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. I mean, I still feel threatened.

[Justin McElroy]

You know how men are.

I do.

[Griffin McElroy]

Limit your own style adventure based on the adventure of another. I don't think that that's fair to ask of anyone. I think that you might raise the boss up. That might be what the boss needs. Maybe the boss has reached the threshold of what he's able to do aesthetically and he would actually appreciate someone to show him a new way, a new path. And maybe you'll get the big promotion you've been going for.

[Justin McElroy]

You know what we need to bring back and need to normalize reversible clothing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Right. A reversible jacket. I feel like that was a thing in the 80s where it's like you could turn the jacket inside out and now it's a Different jacket.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. I'll tell you. Kick ass reversible jacket. One side denim. Yeah. Some kind of fabric, but then you flip it and then it's a rain. Then it's a rain jacket and it's waterproof.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, shit.

[Griffin McElroy]

One side outside is gonna be like a khaki, a canvas, traditional outerwear sort of fabric. Inside that. That slippery, loud nylon shit that keeps you nice and dry.

[Justin McElroy]

This is interesting because we've moved away.

From the costume now because I love this. Yeah.

This is a good garment because no matter what you're uncomfortable. Like, you are either locking it all in. Right. And you're like, if it's a. If it's a look on a day where you don't need the rain slicked.

[Griffin McElroy]

Then it would be. Sorry, I think you're confused. In that case, it would be in canvas mode. It would be in denim and you.

[Justin McElroy]

Just have slippery, gross feeling moving against your body on the inside.

[Griffin McElroy]

Moving against my shirt. I'm wearing a shirt under the jacket. I'm not like.

[Justin McElroy]

So you need a third layer, a tear away layer. I'm sorry, travelers. Are you.

Are you.

[Griffin McElroy]

No. You're being an asshole right now because. Are you frequently leaving the house wearing only a jacket and no shirt on anything?

[Justin McElroy]

No, but I feel how the jacket moves against the shirt.

Or I'm wearing a short sleeve thing with a long sleeve jacket. It can't be plastic on the inside.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, it's not plastic. This is a nice sticky. Nylah. It's gonna be a sticky.

[Justin McElroy]

It's like a soft, breathable, waterproof.

[Griffin McElroy]

I was close, though. I think we can all agree I was close to something there. There's something there.

[Justin McElroy]

If it didn't rely on a non existent fabric, like a sort of a comfortable raincoat.

Fabric that feels good against your skin and dries instantly.

[Griffin McElroy]

We are so far away from the office life.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. I don't even know if I'm a Jim or Dwight anymore.

What about an accent piece?

Ooh.

That you make sort of like a recurring thing. That it doesn't even really matter what the rest of the look is doing.

Because the Riddler Kane from Batman and Robin.

The Riddler Kane from Batman and Robin is a part of every look.

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Plus, I think it'd be good to send a little depth charge down there. Little sounding wave, little test. Experiment to see if your boss chomps that fucking steez. It is important to know if you start wearing a fascinator to work and you're like, let's fucking see. And the next day, the Boss has, like a little fascinator or fascinator adjacent thing.

[Justin McElroy]

You're gonna wear two fascinators.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's gonna.

[Justin McElroy]

We're gonna be in arms race.

It ain't a scene.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, it is kind of a scene. If I see someone. If I see multiple people wearing multiple fascinators. That is a scene.

[Justin McElroy]

That's what I want to ask Monsieur's Stump and Fall Out Boys. Can't it be both a scene and an arms race?

Think about it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I work as a cashier at a grocery store, and there's a.

[Griffin McElroy]

Should we go to Maison? Should we go to Maison?

[Justin McElroy]

Griffin, if I thought we should go to the Money Zone, I would not have started another question.

Yeah. Wow. Shit.

So that is really. That's really passive aggressive of you.

[Griffin McElroy]

I was, I think, if anything, aggressive aggressive. But it was.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, that's true.

Aggressive passive.

Let's go to the Money Zone. Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

All right.

[Justin McElroy]

Justin and Griffin, can we have a serious conversation for once?

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, thank God. Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

You guys have no virtual online presence to speak of whatsoever.

[Griffin McElroy]

Certainly none that. Certainly none that I am under any amount of control of.

[Justin McElroy]

Exactly. And I know you're afraid. I know you're afraid of the Internet. I know you are, because you're like, I don't know how to do it. I don't even know how to set up an Internet. Right. First of all, it's called a website. It's not called an Internet. Right. The Internet is what you use to set up and how you get to things, Grandpa. But it's called a website. And with Squarespace.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's a website?

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. Oh, my God.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's a website? Tell me now. Cause you're over there. You're over there. Max fucking Headroom. Like, what's up, cyber cowboys? You can't fuck with me, stupid. We don't know about dumbasses. So what's a website trap? Tell me that.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, website is like, you know how you're always putting up kind of like poster board signs on, like, lamp posts and walls and stuff that tell people about what's going on in your life or if you're selling things or like to talk about stuff that you're into, you know? So a website is like that, but it lives in the computer, and other people with computers and phones and stuff can see it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

All right.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that sounded right. I was just. You were really riding us pretty hard there about how.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, I'm a cyber jockey, man. You know what I mean? So I gotta ride. You analog. You analog Dorks as hard as I can.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're gonna ride us analog dorks as hard as you can and put you up wet.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't think that's accurate.

I'm just trying to juice my numbers.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just trying to ride you as hard as you can and put you up wet.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. Cause I'm a cyber jockey and you can.

[Griffin McElroy]

Travis, I take it back. Maybe your social abilities are somehow deficient. And I think it's probably because of the how jacked into the web you are. It sounds like that you've forgotten how things work out here.

[Justin McElroy]

It's been a long time since I've spent time in meatspace.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think that's probably. I mean, meatspace is fine. Squarespace is better.

[Justin McElroy]

I need to touch ass. Is that what they.

[Griffin McElroy]

You can touch ass.

[Justin McElroy]

Touch ass.

[Griffin McElroy]

You can touch ass. You can touch grass or you can touch gas. That last one a lot of people don't.

[Justin McElroy]

Nobody touches for free.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, you can touch gas for free.

[Justin McElroy]

But with Squarespace, they give you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place, you analog nerds. So get paid on time with professionals.

[Griffin McElroy]

You've lost the fucking time completely, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Get paid on time with professional on brand invoices, online payments, all that cool stuff. Streamline your workflow. It's all cool. And they have a complete library of professionally designed and award winning website templates. So head to squarespace.com mybrother for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code mybrother all one word to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is what happens when we do the drive and we go two weeks without doing ads. I feel like it takes a bit of a run up again. It takes like you gotta spin up that engine just a little bit. I do think we delivered a quality product to Squarespace, just like they deliver quality products to their users day in, day out.

[Justin McElroy]

That's right, Squarespace. You're welcome.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're welcome. And thanks for sponsoring this rebuilding season here on my brother. My brother and me, we're focusing on the fundamentals right now. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I wanna Munch Squad. I want two months. Welcome to Munch Squad. It's a podcast within a podcast, profiling the latest and greatest in brand eating. And I wanted to tell you guys, first of all, we mentioned it on Clubhouse, but I wanted to say it here that the BW3s at the mall did close. Yeah, Sitting empty currently, as far as I know, yes.

So you're saying it's available?

Saying there's an opportunity for an enterprising young wing fan. Yes, that's right. They left all the wings. You're gonna need to do sort of a wing based business.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's gonna stink like. It's gonna stink like wings. So you may as well sell wings there. Cause you can't. You can't have a dentist office there. That stinks like buffalo wings. People are not gonna come frequent that.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm excited to open my church slash restaurant combination. Winging a prayer. Come on in, Travis.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's fucking. Can I tell you something? That idea is not only strong from a sort of like, comedic gag standpoint, it's also strong from a, like, anytime we left church as kids, I would have definitely gone for wings. I for sure would have gone for wings.

[Justin McElroy]

This is what I'm saying. So why not combine the experience?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yep.

[Justin McElroy]

The collection plate. That's right. It's a plate of wings.

[Griffin McElroy]

Big plate of wings. I will say transubstantiation. Jesus on a bone in buffalo wing is a little too visceral for my. For my taste.

[Justin McElroy]

That's part of it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

It gets.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, man. We don't have to even get in there any deeper. Oh, Justin just sent us a little multimedia.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. All right. No, nevermind. Don't click that link. I got it to work now.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay. Because I clicked it and the scariest thing I've ever seen.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, it sucks.

[E]

Do you suffer from need? Do you struggle to decide which one of the many TVs playing March Madness and Buffalo Wild Wings to watch? Not anymore. Introducing the BDubs vision goggles. The perfect way to watch every single game at the same time. With its patent pending mirror vision technology, you get a full 360 view. And with designer.

[Justin McElroy]

Wait.

[E]

These are fashion aesthetics that rival the baroque era. Paris, you'll be the coolest guy at length. And I'm so crazy I'm practically giving them away. Let's go, sports bar.

[Griffin McElroy]

So you can actually buy these March Madness vision goggles. First of all, can we just address the fact that if you are not seeing this in real time, this buffalo monster screaming, are you inflicted with need? Is that what he said? Because that sounds like a Dark Souls character. Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

Do you have need?

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Ash, you have a ashen one. Do you suffer from need? Okay, can we get the exact. Can we get the exact wording on that? Extremely.

[Justin McElroy]

Sorry.

Is it.

[Griffin McElroy]

You should see it at the very beginning. I want to hear his phrasing of.

[Justin McElroy]

Do you have. Sorry.

[E]

Do you suffer from need?

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you suffer from need? Is like, do you suffer from need? Sounds like something you would hear at the like sleepaway camp cult.

[Justin McElroy]

Like Ashwanderer, do you suffer from need? Perhaps my cinders could provide some Sucre. You're stricken with desire. I can cure your desires, Ranger.

[Griffin McElroy]

Abandon these foolish lungs.

[Justin McElroy]

Suck on this chicory root. Let its pulsing vapors penetrate.

[Griffin McElroy]

There are no needs within the great snake.

[Justin McElroy]

That is of course, if my. Unless my eyes mistake me. Unless my ears mistake me. That is JP Carliak. Best known for being the Boss Baby in the Boss Baby TV show.

Oh, is it? Because I was trying to narrow that down.

It took me several listens. Yeah, but I'm Pretty sure it's JP Carlach. There were like Hulk in the X Men 97.

There were like eight SNL cast members from the last decade. I thought that could have been. And I was trying to like hone in on which one. These glasses.

Yeah, talk about that part of it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are these real things you can get?

[Justin McElroy]

I haven't been to the URL, so I don't know, man. I was kind of afraid to get on the list. You can go there if you want.

I actually saw this, a clip from this prior to this on I believe a TikTok or something similar. And immediately what I thought of was the bit in How I Met yout Mother when Ted goes to pick up wings from a restaurant and he's attempting to avoid seeing the outcome of the Super Bowl. Yeah, that's what I'm getting from this.

[Griffin McElroy]

An extremely specific reference.

[Justin McElroy]

Indeed. Indeed. But it looks stupid in both cases I guess is what I'm trying to say.

So they really did sell.

[Griffin McElroy]

It is sold out now.

[Justin McElroy]

It's sold out now. But they sold something for no reason.

But it looks like duct taped together.

Yeah, it looks like garbage that they were selling people.

[Griffin McElroy]

It is. It's goggles and then they have straps. They have attached to the straps a lot of maybe like small side view mirrors on a car. Like six of them. So that you can watch all the games. You can watch all the games at once. I think that Buffalo Wild Wings is the worst imaginable restaurant to wear such a silly looking contraption. Because I do think that per capita the number of people who would walk up to you and just scissor kick that thing right off your dork face is probably higher than the average restaurant.

[Justin McElroy]

I've adjusted your guys view.

Sorry?

I've adjusted your view, guys. Griff, can you talk about some vital stats of this Buffalo Wild Wings national chain?

[Griffin McElroy]

This video and I have to imagine this is running on a lot of collegiate basketball competitions.

[Justin McElroy]

Can you go top to bottom, please?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah. So we're looking at. First of all, bdub's channel's got 27 2k subscribers. That's pretty good. 22 likes on this video. Not the best, but we all have off ones. 4.8 thousand views on this one. That came out two weeks ago. And then there are, it looks like two comments, one of which says, I want those goggles and the other.

[Justin McElroy]

Now that is the first comment that was made alongside the videos launched two weeks ago. Yeah, this one, for two weeks there were no comments because people went to comment on it and they looked at that comment, I want those goggles. They thought that sums it up. I actually don't need to add anything.

[Griffin McElroy]

And then four hours ago, it looks like we have someone who says this made people leave the restaurant. They said the wings are too hot.

[Justin McElroy]

Boom, got us roasted.

That's only other comment on this.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's nothing wrong with the private sector. We're doing great darling over here.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes, it's good.

[Griffin McElroy]

We have lots of kick ass jobs doing lots of amazing stuff for everyone.

[Justin McElroy]

It's all good stuff. That's the important thing. It's all good stuff. And this some people I think get a little worked up about. A lot of restaurants, I think are worried about packaging and they're worried about the environmental footprint.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And I just want to say that I am very glad that B dubs had the foresight to make these trash goggles to put straight in the landfills. Yeah, I wish they had made more of them. It's. It has nothing to do with buffalo wings.

It's not selling the food. It's not a commercial for food. And the garbage paraphernalia they're hawking doesn't even promise to improve your enjoyment of the food.

[Griffin McElroy]

And yet, and yet I want those goggles. And also yet, and yet further, those three fucking saps, rubes, marks, patsies are here talking about it on our. On our enormous.

[Justin McElroy]

God damn it, Griffin, you're right.

[Griffin McElroy]

I hate to always play that card here on the munch squad, but BW3s did get. I mean, they done, they got us again. They know what we like and what we're all about. And so.

[Justin McElroy]

So I need everyone, I need everyone to go to that video and comment. I also want those goggles. Bring those goggles back. Sell those goggles some more.

Just turn it into my brother, my brother me chat room. There's no one watching. You can go to VW Go to the video. It's got, I don't know, hopefully more.

Views by this point.

[Griffin McElroy]

The amount of engagement you're going to give that is going to save someone's job.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, probably legit.

Listen, what am I going to do if another one shuts down?

No, they'll have to open BW4s. Did we all wear red? We didn't communicate beforehand. We're all in a color palette.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's like, seven colors, man. Statistically, we were going to match up someday.

[Justin McElroy]

You know what I mean? Oh, my gosh.

I have a question. My partner and I have seen many clips from WWE on Instagram. We genuinely think it seems hilarious and we should watch the show for real. However, we have no clue how and where to start. In your opinion, how should we start watching professional wrestling? That's from wistfully wondering about wrestling in Ontario.

Okay, this is great. Cause I think Justin and I can kind of act as audience surrogate here to ask Griffin, do they have, like, seasons.

Griffin, Seasons of hitting. Seasons of.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. I'm the wrongest guy to ask this question.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, you're the right one on this show.

[Griffin McElroy]

I know that much. But I do want to stress this by saying I'm the wrongest imaginable dude to ask this question. I fell off wrestling pretty hard, pretty much right when we had the second kid, pretty much. That was. It turns out, like, the amount of time you have to invest in wrestling to follow it is exactly one second kid's worth, not one first kid's worth. That's a little bit bigger of a commitment. Although there is a multiplicative sort of exponential effect when you start tossing more kids on the pile there. So that's. I'm well outside of it. The honest, probably best answer is probably just like, start looking at TikTok. Like, wrestling TikTok. I bet it's out there.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, you say that, but I occasionally get served up some hot wrestling tiktoks, and I've seen that Mr. Cena has recently made a big character change.

[Griffin McElroy]

Mr. Cena, again, this is something I've absorbed from clips on TikTok. I did not see this happen live. It does sound. It does sound like a very exciting idea. But Mr. Dwayne Johnson did hypnotize the Rock to turn him evil, as far as I can tell.

[Justin McElroy]

No, sorry, say that again.

He hypnotized Mr. Cena.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, sorry, sorry. Mr.

[Justin McElroy]

The Rock.

[Griffin McElroy]

Dwayne Johnson did hypnotize John Cena to turn him evil, to make him evil.

[Justin McElroy]

We talk about the alternate View of that, Dwayne Johnson hypnotized the Rock in.

Like, a Jekyll and Hyde kind of situation.

That would be, like, way cooler. Anyway, go ahead.

So what I'm asking, Griffin, is do you think I need to start back at the beginning of Mr. Cena's career and track through?

[Griffin McElroy]

No, no, no. That's not important. Pretty much. You can just watch that one episode of Smackdown, and I bet you're gonna be okay. Gang, gang, gang. The shows are called Raw and Smackdown. It ain't severance. You don't gotta watch a bunch of supplemental shit online to, like, find out. Like, here's the deeper meaning between John Cena being activated, Manchurian Candidate style, to attack Mr. Rhodes, his best pal. I guess you really don't need all that shit. You just. You need to see 40 seconds of someone on TikTok saying, check this out.

[Justin McElroy]

I want to challenge you on that, Griffin. Okay, because what you just.

To a wrestling match.

No, what you just said a couple minutes ago is that the time required to keep up with wrestling is commiserate with that of caring for a small child. So either we do need the context to enjoy the product or we don't. And I'm asking you, this is who you. It sounds like if the advice is just watch the show and enjoy it, it sounds like you yourself could be just watching the show and enjoying it.

[Griffin McElroy]

But it is a difference between saying, I got this podcast for you called My Brother and Me is a million fucking episodes and someone being like, how do I get into it? How do I get into it? And you say, I don't know, man. Probably just watch a best of compilate, get on YouTube, find some of their biggest clips. That takes 10 minutes. Listening to the entirety of our podcast is, you can't do it. You'll die. You'd be dead by the end.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, don't do it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just from time.

[Justin McElroy]

There's so many curse ones, too.

[Griffin McElroy]

And so I could update myself on the present status of just the WWE universe in a good 20 to 30 minutes of cursory Googling. But then I would have to watch the eight to nine hours of wrestling content released every single week in order to consider myself sort of literate in the space. That's not even factoring in aew, which has also, of course, a lot of.

[Justin McElroy]

Extremely exciting stuff and delicious, delicious root beer and hot dogs.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, they do. I mean, that's a joke. But they definitely probably do sell root beer and hot dogs to most wrestlegoers and to wrestlers.

[Justin McElroy]

They make them Pay for their own hot dogs, which I think is really fucked up.

[Griffin McElroy]

Now, the anatomy of a wrestling match is 70% panting. And I can't blame you for that. Pant pantsing, panting. 70% panting. If you're doing it right, you're getting about three quarters panting and then about 20% setup and then 5% people, you know, flipping through the air and stomping and punching and hitting and kicking and catching. A highlight of those is the best way to consume one of those matches. Because the panting, with rare exception, is not the. Not the highlight of the.

[Justin McElroy]

It's not story driven panting.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, it's biologically driven panting.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

They just. It hurts to do this stuff and it gets you tired.

[Justin McElroy]

As a casual fan of wrestling, by which I mean, you know, sometimes I've watched.

[Griffin McElroy]

The idea's neat. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't know. Yeah, it's just like. Seems neat.

Wouldn't kick it out of bed for eating crackers.

I've been to wrestling events in person before. Casual fan wrestling. Yeah. You know, saw Brutus the Barber Beefcake live.

Yeah, I've seen Jake the Snake Roberts live.

We've met Jake the Snake Roberts in person.

I kind of wanna.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, we don't have to talk, we don't have to drop names, but when the name is as fun as Jake the Snake Roberts, you know, I'm gonna be dropping it.

[Justin McElroy]

I one time saw Sergeant Slaughter in the Best Buy that I work at. Sorry, Juice.

[Griffin McElroy]

Was there an ending to that? Sort of thought there was initially, Griffin.

[Justin McElroy]

But I kind of vamped too much and forgot it. Curse of old age, I guess, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, but also, I mean, that is so sad.

[Justin McElroy]

I can't even listen to them anymore without knowing how old they are.

[Griffin McElroy]

That is, though, just in a statement on wrestling too, because that happens on that, in that great octagon. Half octagon all the time, doesn't it? Of someone getting up there and it's just like, I'm going to stomp your ass so hard.

[Justin McElroy]

Could you just describe a square as a half octagon?

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm gonna stomp your ass so hard. I'm gonna take you back to the town you grew up in. My name is Dr. Dirt and I'm gonna fuck you up tonight because of what you did to my wife. Fuck, man. It's been a long time as a.

[Justin McElroy]

Casual fan of wrestling. I really like it when the wrestling happens with some sort of extra flair or sometimes especially like when there's a cage or death is part of it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Part of it? Death or being killed Is like a thing that might happen. Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

I like about the cage, too. It makes me feel safe as the fan, knowing that the wrestlers are contained, can't get out. The risk of the wrestling spilling over into the audience or my home even, is very reduced.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

That the violence and the wrestling is contained.

[Griffin McElroy]

When I would see Dean Ambrose do an extreme cage match, I would think that man who is just a lunatic for denim jeans is not gonna come out and hurt me or try to.

[Justin McElroy]

Take my jeans away from me.

[Griffin McElroy]

He can't get my jeans away from me. Now he is incarcerated and also about to get his ass stomped by Bray Wyatt. And it's gonna be great to see.

[Justin McElroy]

I.

One other thing that I didn't want to ask about wrestling. As a casual fan of wrestling, Griffin. It does. It does seem a little bit unnerving that I could spend a lot of time learning about a wrestler and it could just turn out that I should never know or speak of them ever again. It sounds like a lot of wrestlers do get memory hold in a way where it's like, not only was that time wasted, it would be better if I didn't know of them just because I might accidentally mention them, talk about someone else.

[Griffin McElroy]

But the great thing, Juice, is that is only true of wrestling and no other art form or performance whatsoever.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, but I don't. Yeah, it might be a little more true in wrestling if we ran the numbers right, Griff.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like, I don't know. Let's get Jimmy O on it.

[Justin McElroy]

Jimmy O. Jimmy O. Jimmy O. We need a catalog of canceled, problematic.

[Griffin McElroy]

People in wrestling as compared to all other fields. And I want to see different columns for AEW and wwe, please. In fact, if you split it up between the Raw and smackdown rosters, that would be probably the most helpful data points for us.

[Justin McElroy]

And we're not gonna pay you for this, Jimmy. No.

Important.

[Griffin McElroy]

Jimmy, no.

[Justin McElroy]

Don't do it, Jimmy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I support art and artists, but this is just math. Jimmy O.

[Justin McElroy]

That ain't art.

That's not art.

[Griffin McElroy]

Math.

[Justin McElroy]

Jimmy O. I mean, listen, Griffin can figure out that a square is half an octagon. Math Ain't nobody.

[Griffin McElroy]

Why should I pay someone to do math for me? I'm clearly pretty good at it. I knew I would reach a point where my son would bring home math homework too difficult for me to fucking hang with. I thought I'd get a little bit farther than second grade. I thought I would get. I thought I would hit third, fourth. As soon as I saw that long division line, I was like, hello, you old fucker. Remember me, because I don't. Do you.

[Justin McElroy]

I've been. I've become instantly unhelpful, saying like, listen, kid, if I don't know how to do this, you don't need it. Like, you will not need to use this again.

The problem I find with helping, I.

Don'T know how to break it to you, because it's like, if you don't know, I don't know it. So clearly you don't need it to be a happy, well adjusted adult.

I don't know. The problem I have with helping Bibi with math homework is so much of it is just stuff I have kind of memorized, right. That when I look at those numbers, I know the answer is good at math. But then when it's like, I'm supposed to tell her how to do it and it's just like, oh, yeah, you just need to look at it and know that the answer is four.

That's too. Yeah. Too good at math.

Listen, I was a National Merit Scholar, man. I don't know what to tell you.

[Griffin McElroy]

I wanna say. And I feel like I don't say this enough when we talk about wrestling. If you're a huge wrestling Stan and you do spend nine hours a week watching all that programming, I support you immensely. I watch probably more than that in hockey, and that isn't even fun. Like, there's not even, like, fun costumes and, like, the threat of killing or.

[Justin McElroy]

I spend more time than that on hobbies that I actively think are embarrassing.

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, for sure.

[Justin McElroy]

I spend about nine hours a week accidentally watching a lot of Paw Patrol and, like, Shimmer. If you want to know about storylines.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just like, on the screen, like, Shimmer and Shine on the screen.

[Justin McElroy]

If you want to know about the storylines in, like, construction pups or whatever you just asked me, hit up Trav.

That one's not real.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, you're so low, dude.

[Justin McElroy]

Lean back, relaxing. Because I'm saying, hey, thanks for listening to the podcast. I'll also remind you, Griffin, even though I've had to remind you a few times lately, this isn't for them.

I want to say. I want to say.

Don't read the commentary.

I want to say thank you to everybody who supported us in the Max Fun Drive. Oh, yeah, it was wonderful. Filled us with all the positive, good, grateful feelings. Thank you. Now, Justin, you're teasing us to make us comment on it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Justin put my finger in my mouth. He's sucking on his finger.

[Justin McElroy]

But you put your finger in your mouth to see if we.

[Griffin McElroy]

But you.

[Justin McElroy]

You were Seeing if we were kind.

There's no gerund.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's making a bit out of it.

[Justin McElroy]

You should just. In my mouth.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And it's not for them.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's irrelevant. If they do clip this juice, you're gonna look crazy, Doc.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, Justin's eating his fist. We gotta hurry through this, man. Thank you so much to Montagne for the use of our theme song, My Life Is Better with youh. It's a powerful track of authentic friendship and power, love and power and love. Montaigne's got some new tunes that I'm very excited about, so support them. I'm excited where you can.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm excited because we're coming to Richmond, Virginia with my brother, my brother and me. Charlotte, North Carolina, with an Adventure Zone in Raleigh, North Carolina, with a My brother, my brother and me this week.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, baby.

[Justin McElroy]

If you have questions you want answered or a Faster Than Fear you want read aloud, you can email it to nbmbamaximumfund.org and put which city you're gonna be at in the subject line later. We're coming to Michigan, Minnesota and Ohio, so make sure you check that out too. All the Taz shows are gonna be Taz versus this one this week is Taz versus Hamlet.

[Griffin McElroy]

Very excited for that.

[Justin McElroy]

Check that out. Get your tickets now. Bit Ly mcrowetours. We also have a bunch of new merch, including a Miggy Spinner pin and aethersea Dice.

[Griffin McElroy]

The aethersea dice are so dope. They are definitely gonna be my new to go Dice. Roland buddies. Those were designed by Evelyn. Thank you so much, Evelyn. Workshop on Instagram. 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the National Immigration Project, which litigates, advocates, educates and builds bridges across movements to ensure that those who are impacted by our immigration and criminal legal systems are uplifted and supported. Once again, that is [e-mail] Justin, do.

[Justin McElroy]

You want to do the Faster Than Fear this week?

Yes.

Okay. Please do.

I believe I can do that for you this once this year. I want to be faster than my Fear of the Thumb. Thumbs from Spy kids absound.

Absolutely 100%.

My name is Justin McElroy.

I'm Travis McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Griffin McElroy. Fuck floop. Fuck Fluke for bringing these things into the world.

[Justin McElroy]

My brother, My brother. Be kiss your dad. Squirrel the lips.

[Travis McElroy]

It's better, it's better with you My life. It's better it's better with you Cuz it's true it's better it's better with you My life It's better with you.

[Justin McElroy]

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