MBMBaM 757: Face 2 Face: Ain’t No Horny Like Goose Horny

Summary

Podcast Summary: MBMBaM 757: Face 2 Face: Ain’t No Horny Like Goose Horny

Released on April 7, 2025, "My Brother, My Brother And Me" (MBMBaM) Episode 757, titled "Face 2 Face: Ain’t No Horny Like Goose Horny," delivers a blend of humor, sibling banter, and unconventional advice. Hosts Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy navigate through a variety of topics, including an April Fool's prank, pro wrestling refereeing tips, dealing with an aggressive goose, audience trivia, and more. Below is a detailed breakdown of the episode's key segments, enriched with notable quotes and insights.

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1. Opening Banter and April Fool's Prank

The episode kicks off with the brothers establishing their non-expert status humorously. Griffin reminds listeners that their advice should not be taken seriously, setting a comedic tone.

• Griffin (00:00): "The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed."

Travis humorously claims expertise, while Justin joins in with playful lyrics, creating an engaging and lighthearted atmosphere.

A significant portion of the early discussion revolves around an April Fool's prank orchestrated by their father involving "Doctor Who."

• Paul (03:43) and Travis (04:08): They dissect the prank, highlighting the confusion between "Doctor Who" and a "Doctor" without specifying, revealing the prank's layers and their father's playful nature.

2. Advice Segment: Refereeing in Richmond Pro Wrestling

Transitioning to advice, the brothers address a listener's question about standing out as a referee in Richmond Pro Wrestling (RPW).

• Paul (06:17): "A friend from work has recently got me into watching Richmond Pro Wrestling, RPW Represent. I have come to realize that I would really like to be in the ring as a ref."

Griffin and Travis offer a series of humorous and creative suggestions, blending absurdity with pseudo-advice.

• Griffin (08:12): "The Saw movies have gotten much lower stakes. Yeah, but they are funnier."

• Travis (10:03): "You're going to build a big cloud that you can sit in... Hook this up to a thing and you're over the whole ring."

3. Dealing with an Aggressive Goose

Paul shares an amusing dilemma about an aggressive goose named Moose who specifically targets him at work.

• Paul (11:38): "I enter and leave out a side door every day that few other people use. But lately there has been an aggressive goose blocking the way."

The brothers brainstorm humorous strategies to appease or deter Moose, emphasizing their trademark comedic style.

• Griffin (12:56): "Sit 'em down. Show 'em pictures of your kids. Like, I'm happy. I'm totally satisfied with my life."

• Paul (15:29): "I do think you should punch the goose. Because the one thing that we have as people."

4. Audience Engagement: Trivia Game and the $10 Challenge

Travis introduces an interactive trivia segment involving questions about pop culture topics like "Supernatural" and "How to Train Your Dragon," with $10 at stake for correct answers.

• Travis (18:23): "I have 10 questions. And I have $10 bills. And if my brothers get their questions right, I will give them $10 per question."

The game unfolds with playful competition, showcasing the brothers' camaraderie and quick-witted humor.

• Griffin (19:40): "Holy crap."

• Paul (20:31): "I am the one who gripped you tight and made you whole."

5. Advice Segment: Frasier-Themed Birthday Celebration

Paul seeks advice for planning a Frasier-themed birthday party for his sister, navigating the geographical mismatch between Richmond and Seattle.

• Paul (25:29): "Richmond, Virginia does not seem to be that close to Seattle, where Frazier is."

The brothers offer creative yet comical solutions to recreate the "Frasier" vibe locally.

• Travis (28:34): "I think what Griffin is saying is, do your boyfriends get along better with each other than they do with you?"

• Griffin (30:53): "The cape and crown theme."

6. Promotions and Comedic Stunts

Intermittent promotions for services like Zocdoc are interwoven with jokes about being "squished flat," referencing the children's book "Flat Stanley."

• Paul (37:30): "Have more flexibility in your life with stamps.com. Sign [e-mail] and use code mybrother for a special offer..."

• Griffin (38:05): "They did extreme severe damage to all of my internal organs."

7. Q&A Segment: Dental Issues and Ethical Non-Monogamy

Listeners pose questions ranging from uncomfortable dental experiences to navigating ethical non-monogamy.

• Jocelyn (59:37): "Have you ever been bit before by, like a client?"

The brothers respond with their characteristic blend of humor and exaggerated advice.

• Travis (60:02): "Have you ever been bit twice by an adult?"

• Griffin (66:53): "Caped crusaders and crowns."

8. Band Name and Promotional Video Advice

Justin introduces a local band, "The Kyles," and seeks assistance in creating a promotional video. The brothers engage in a mock video creation process, humorously critiquing their own efforts.

• Justin (69:07): "How can we help?"

• Travis (72:11): "Oh, hello. Didn't see you come in there."

9. Closing Remarks and Acknowledgments

The episode concludes with thanks to local venues, acknowledgment of fans, and final humorous exchanges.

• Griffin (75:35): "This podcast we explained to out of touch school superintendents who...”

• Paul (77:25): "It'S better, it's better with you."

---

Notable Quotes:

• Griffin (00:00): "The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed."

• Paul (11:38): "Paul called it a two. He was like, one towel show or two towel show?"

• Griffin (15:21): "Ain't no horny like a goose horny."

• Travis (18:23): "I have 10 questions. And I have $10 bills."

• Paul (20:31): "I am the one who gripped you tight and made you whole."

• Travis (28:34): "I think what Griffin is saying is, do your boyfriends get along better with each other than they do with you?"

• Paul (37:30): "Have more flexibility in your life with stamps.com."

• Griffin (38:05): "They did extreme severe damage to all of my internal organs."

• Travis (60:02): "Have you ever been bit twice by an adult?"

• Paul (77:25): "It'S better, it's better with you."

Insights and Conclusions:

This episode exemplifies MBMBaM's unique blend of humor, sibling dynamics, and offbeat advice. Whether tackling absurd listener questions or engaging in playful competitions, The McElroys maintain an entertaining and relatable rapport. The inclusion of promotional segments is seamlessly integrated into the comedic narrative, ensuring a cohesive and enjoyable listening experience. For those new to MBMBaM, Episode 757 offers a quintessential taste of the brothers' whimsical approach to life's quirks and challenges.

Transcript

[Griffin McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out.

[Travis McElroy]

There know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, baby?

[Justin McElroy]

1, 2, 3. It's the start of something beautiful A.

[Travis McElroy]

Small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into.

[Justin McElroy]

A precious friendship I could have never seen what was coming for me.

[Paul McElroy]

Hangs at the skate park Hangs by.

[Justin McElroy]

The beach My life, it feels like it's better it's better with you My.

[Paul McElroy]

Life.

[Justin McElroy]

It'S better it's better with you.

[Paul McElroy]

This is true.

[Justin McElroy]

It'S better it's better.

[Paul McElroy]

With two My life is Ah. It's better with you hello, everybody.

[Travis McElroy]

Welcome.

[Paul McElroy]

My brother, my brother and me. An advice show for the mod era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middlest brother, Travis. Vroom, vroom, McElroy. Hey, what's up?

[Griffin McElroy]

It's me, the sweet baby brother, 30 under 30, media luminary Bill Ford, tough Griffin McElroy. And let's give another round of applause for our dad, who's cosplaying as the Flush tonight.

[Paul McElroy]

Right, our dad.

[Travis McElroy]

Thanks, Paul.

[Paul McElroy]

Appreciate it. It's for my sweat. I'm gonna get really raunchy this show. So Paul called it a two. He was like, one towel show or two towel show? J man, I was like, it feels like a two towel show.

[Griffin McElroy]

He said, depends on how many white claws I spill all over the gosh dang place.

[Travis McElroy]

Interestingly, maybe connectedly. Jocelyn, I enjoy your Speed Racer on vacation cosplay. I.

[Paul McElroy]

My Speed Racer shirt had a noticeable mustard stain on it. Not so noticeable that I noticeabled it before I packed this morning, but noticeable enough to leave it at home.

[Travis McElroy]

I bet that happens to the real Speed Racer.

[Paul McElroy]

Don't worry.

[Travis McElroy]

He's moving too fast to be careful with mustard.

[Griffin McElroy]

He must be a meat eater. No way.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, but. So it's more of a casual day, but I'm not the person I want to make fun of. Did you guys get that text?

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, man. We got a Pretty good Clint McElroy text today. Can we tell you the tale of it? Because I promise it hits and it's seasonal. I am busting right out of my collar of this.

[Paul McElroy]

They love it.

[Travis McElroy]

You're so eager for it.

[Griffin McElroy]

If you sense a certain nervous energy from me tonight, more than usual. It is because I have like case of food poisoning am and wearing a one piece coverall jumpsuit.

[Travis McElroy]

High stakes.

[Griffin McElroy]

I live on the fucking edge.

[Paul McElroy]

The Saw movies have gotten much lower stakes. Yeah, but they are funnier.

[Griffin McElroy]

Anyway, we are not making fun of me or you or Travis to me.

[Paul McElroy]

Either one of us.

[Travis McElroy]

Why would you make fun of me?

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah, we're making fun of our dad. So here's the text. Here's the text that we got today. Today from our dad. Doctor who canceled as Amazon deal confirms. Rebranded Doctor who reboot.

[Travis McElroy]

Now for those of you listening at home on audio, the difference is get this, the first doctor is spelled out right and the second doctor just says doctor.

[Paul McElroy]

So next image please.

[Jocelyn]

Paul.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah, so here's the text of dad sending it to all of us now where he says that's. That's like to every. That's us and all of our wives is.

[Griffin McElroy]

Which is fucking wild. Like a wild scattershot approach. Yeah, I don't know if he added. But the end is just the beginning as his own sort of putting his own spice on it.

[Paul McElroy]

But I do like that there was a large gap in between there where no one responded. Right.

[Griffin McElroy]

And then fucking rules that he lets us know exactly which app he shared this important news bulletin from.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah, Google app, you say now. Next. Next. Next. Now what's so fascinating is this is a story from April 1, 2024, which.

[Travis McElroy]

For those of you keeping home, keeping score at home is 365 days prior to the text we just showed you.

[Paul McElroy]

Now that's one unifying factor. The other one is that it is from a website called Doctor who tv. The exact same God damn website on the exact same fucking day. April 1st. Paul. Next image please. Yes, that was texted to us on April 2, 2024.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, this website has our dad's fucking number, man.

[Travis McElroy]

And I also want to highlight here in this text thread, Justin, what I'm going to say is a very gracious response.

[Griffin McElroy]

Holy crap.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Justin never shows this kind of grace. Y' especially not to dad when he does something objectively pretty funny.

[Travis McElroy]

Paul. Next image.

[Paul McElroy]

So I just wanted dad to know last time he got.

[Griffin McElroy]

He got a grace.

[Travis McElroy]

This was from this is the this year thread in which Justin responded. Sorry it took me so long to respond to your text, Dad. I wanted to stop driving and make sure I had a good screenshot of it first.

[Paul McElroy]

Okay, so that's the story of our April Fool's text from dad. Look forward to 2026, April 2nd, one of these days.

[Griffin McElroy]

Doctor who's really going to get canceled or some big shakeup's going to happen, and he's not going to believe it.

[Travis McElroy]

I know we've talked about this before, but to be like a PR person on April Fool's Day, when something big breaks and you're like, can we wait? This can go out tomorrow, right?

[Griffin McElroy]

What do we do here, Justin? We don't just dunk on our dad.

[Paul McElroy]

Thank you so much for asking. Just dunk on our dad. On our dad. We also dunk on our dad. While we help you, our beloved friends, we're gonna take your questions and turn them alchemy, like, into wisdom. Like, I don't know any other way to do it. A friend from work has recently got me into watching Richmond Pro Wrestling, RPW Represent. I have come to realize that I would really like to be in the ring as a ref. What is something that would help me stand out from all the other referees? And that's from refing in Richmond.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are you here?

[Paul McElroy]

All right.

[Griffin McElroy]

All right.

[Travis McElroy]

Can I ask, There was a big crowd response to Richmond Pro Wrestling. Is that, like, a big deal here?

[Griffin McElroy]

Seems like it. Trav, I don't know why you'd shit.

[Travis McElroy]

Talk it after everyone shit.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, I'm asking.

[Travis McElroy]

It could just be a combination of hearing the name of your city.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And pro wrestling together. This is what I'm saying. Makes you very happy.

[Paul McElroy]

If I was seeing a show in Huntington and someone referenced Huntington Pro Wrestling, I'd probably cheer just to be safe.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paul McElroy]

That's something I like.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I support that in theory, if not with my money.

[Griffin McElroy]

Here's what I know about wrestling referees, is that they are not often extreme sticklers for the rules. So that could be a nice energy to bring, is you actually have the book up there and you're constantly.

[Travis McElroy]

That's a huge book.

[Griffin McElroy]

And you're gonna get in there. Like, when you see, like, a submission hold taking place, I want you to get really, really, really deeply close looking at it just to make sure there's.

[Travis McElroy]

No break out a measuring tape maybe. And you're, like, getting, oh, no, they're not there yet. It's fine.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do a lot of slapping them on the back to separate, which is not traditionally something done a lot.

[Travis McElroy]

Make them sit in the corner like, no, you did bad. Get in time out.

[Griffin McElroy]

You could look really, really concerned all the time. Oh, no. Oh, Owie. Ouch.

[Paul McElroy]

Here's one that you could try if you were to, as a referee, institute an instant replay. But it's a live instant replay. So like, if you didn't see it, you're like, stop, do it again, do it again. Just like you did it. Exactly. You promised.

[Travis McElroy]

Now, it's been a long time since I watched pro wrestling, but I don't remember the referees having storylines. So maybe big character arc growth, maybe big wrestling things going on over here. You turn away, you look at a picture of a lost love, maybe somebody you haven't seen since you signed up for referee school, but once you get out, you're going back there and you're gonna propose to them. Yes, something like that. And then you get murdered in the ring.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, now, hold on, let's explore that.

[Travis McElroy]

That seems bad, but you come back.

[Paul McElroy]

Oh, and you're your own.

[Travis McElroy]

You're your own twin there to get revenge, but only as a refereeing.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're not. It's so important. You can't cross that line.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, no, you're not a wrestler.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hugely unprofessional. You're not a wrestler. You are a referee and you should take pride in that.

[Travis McElroy]

You come out third because I think it's wrestler, wrestler. But this time now, angry referee comes out to their own theme music and they're like, I'm going to make sure you lose by cheating and fudging calls.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay?

[Travis McElroy]

That actually, you murdered my brother.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay?

[Paul McElroy]

The referee should be first. Otherwise, how can they protect the sanctity of the ring? You know, what if they. What if the ref doesn't go first and they try to use that opportunity to hide ladders and like, you know what I mean? Hammers and things. Like, the ref has to be there from the beginning so you can make sure there are no hammers hidden anywhere in it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Make it.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Before every match, do a 30 minute.

[Paul McElroy]

Sweep of the perimeter.

[Griffin McElroy]

I gotta make sure guys, they tuck all kinds of crazy.

[Paul McElroy]

Everybody in the first four rows, you need to pick up these folding chairs and move them back. This is not a safe situation. These chairs could be picked up and used against the wrestlers.

[Travis McElroy]

Here's what I think is gonna set you apart, not only from other Richmond professional wrestling referees, but any referee ever. You're going to build a big cloud that you can sit in.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

Flies around. You're going to need to hook this up to a thing and you're over the whole ring. That's cool.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are we thinking like Jesus Christ or Goku?

[Travis McElroy]

No, I was thinking more like the turtle guy in Mario Kart that follows you around. And every so often, if a wrestler breaks the rules, you just lower down a little fishing hook. You grab that take him back over to the corner.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's cool.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Jesus Christ can actually do that too.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, he's a fisher of men. That is true.

[Griffin McElroy]

He's a fisher of men. He'll scoop you right up, baby.

[Paul McElroy]

Since Vatican ii, he has been able to. That's a Vatican II edition. Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

Huh.

[Paul McElroy]

It's a new upgrade.

[Travis McElroy]

Does he charge you coins when he does it?

[Paul McElroy]

No, that's in Vatican 2.3.

[Travis McElroy]

I love the John Cena skin in Vatican 2.3. When they added lightsabers though, I thought it broke it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, for sure.

[Paul McElroy]

I'm currently being harassed by a goose at my place of work. I enter and leave out a side door every day that few other people use. But lately there has been an aggressive goose blocking the way. I've never had any problems with geese before, but this goose, whom I've named Moose as I am also afraid of those, hisses and bites at me as soon as I get close to the door. Here's the kicker. He does not harass anyone else who uses the door. He happily waddles away for them. Brothers. Animals have always liked me. So why does it sound like this goose wants me dead? And how do I make amends with it? That's from a goose in need of guidance.

[Travis McElroy]

Are you here? They got a goose.

[Paul McElroy]

They got him.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, no, no.

[Paul McElroy]

The goose was outside. You go to enjoy a comedy show tonight. Ah, isn't that nice?

[Travis McElroy]

I think that I might have seen a little window there at the end. The problem is you're worried about making amends with the goose. Okay, maybe everyone else has established goose dominance.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah. How do they do that?

[Travis McElroy]

Head bonk.

[Griffin McElroy]

That does seem like maybe the only thing a goose would understand.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, you're not gonna be able to like show your goose your bank account and they're like, whoa, man. Real high earner.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sit em down. Show em pictures of your kids. Like, I'm happy. I'm totally satisfied with my life. And the goose is like, damn, you got it all figured out right now.

[Travis McElroy]

Damn, man, I wish I was. Maybe you're the lucky goose.

[Paul McElroy]

You've already been. Thoroughly.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you for that laugh, by the way.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, it doesn't make any. Lucky goose isn't like a not even a thing.

[Travis McElroy]

I, I, it is, right?

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Lucky duck is a thing, you lunatics.

[Paul McElroy]

And a golden, silly, silly goose is a thing.

[Griffin McElroy]

And a golden goose you man.

[Travis McElroy]

What do you guys, what do you think the odds?

[Griffin McElroy]

Don't encourage him when you know he's wrong. We have two more shows this week.

[Travis McElroy]

What do you guys think is the opposite of a silly goose? Because I think it's a business penguin, and I don't know.

[Griffin McElroy]

Don't try to pull this thing out of the fire with a great bon mot like business penguin.

[Paul McElroy]

You've already lost. The goose knows your number. The goose knows your number.

[Travis McElroy]

You work for the Goose now.

[Paul McElroy]

You work for the Goose now. Here's what you gotta do. You gotta go back. The one thing you got about goose is, is they're dumb. You could go back. Big chunky heel. Okay? Big pompadour. You've gained six inches now. Yes. You go back. You have a large, thick, impressive mustache, like you were in a fog hat or something. And you look at the goose and say, hey, my name's Jeff. I'm Justin's older brother. And I hear that you've been making some trouble. Now that goose is fucking dumb.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Paul McElroy]

Goose is like, oh, shit, different guy, you know, like, whatever. And then you're like, if you cause any more problems, you get it from that point.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, keep going. I don't quite get it yet. What do you say to the goose?

[Paul McElroy]

Well, if you're like, I'll grab that gorgeous neck of yours and just start shaking it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Is it important to compliment the goose's neck as you Are you going for.

[Travis McElroy]

An enemies to lovers thing?

[Paul McElroy]

Listen, I can't give away all of Jeff's story. It's only season one.

[Travis McElroy]

But, oh, good point.

[Paul McElroy]

We've got some.

[Travis McElroy]

So you're gonna count Emani Cristo the Goose.

[Paul McElroy]

We got some things planned out.

[Travis McElroy]

I see. Maybe show up wearing that dress that Bjork wore to like the Grammys or whatever. And it was a swan and the goose like, oh, shit. Oh, shit. Look at this sick freak. I'm not crossing them.

[Griffin McElroy]

It might get goose horny, though. And no one wants that. Ain't no horny like a goose horny. Because a goose horny don't stop.

[Travis McElroy]

That is true. Scientifically speaking. Once a goose gets horny, it's horny for life.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't think I said anything wrong. I think that was all accurate.

[Paul McElroy]

It never stopped. I don't want anybody to get upset about this, but I do feel very strongly about it and I believe it a lot. I do think you should punch the goose. Because the one thing that we have as people. Now, listen, thank you for agreeing. The one thing that we have as people. And it's not a lot, but we can one of these, you know.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Paul McElroy]

And it doesn't have to be for any kind of reason. It could just be because. Out of my way, goose. And that goose needs to believe that with his whole soul. They have souls, but, like, you get it.

[Travis McElroy]

Could you at least hire a stunt goose to punch in front of the goose so at least then it's complicit in it?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Paul McElroy]

Are you saying get a goose from the market?

[Travis McElroy]

No, a highly trained stunt goose.

[Paul McElroy]

What if you get the goose as big as me from the shop window?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Paul McElroy]

Cover it back in feathers. Kill it when it's looking like that motherfucker killed the biggest goose I've ever seen in my fucking life.

[Griffin McElroy]

On Christmas.

[Paul McElroy]

Fucking on Christmas morning. He kills the biggest goose I've ever seen, rips its feathers out in front of us.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, can I know what happened to the head?

[Paul McElroy]

P.S. it's gone.

[Travis McElroy]

Has anyone ever thought about that from the perspective of the shop owner who has a goose hanging in the window and it's Christmas Day, and he's like, if I haven't sell this fucking thing by today, I'm gonna have to throw away the biggest goose I've ever butchered.

[Griffin McElroy]

The goose store owner is the one who organized the whole ghost thing.

[Travis McElroy]

Just, I gotta move this goose.

[Paul McElroy]

I thought I was so smart. I made it so expensive, but nobody bought it. Now I just got this big old.

[Travis McElroy]

Stinky goose, and my wife told me, don't buy the goose as big as that orphan child. And I said, somebody's gonna want this goose.

[Paul McElroy]

Deborah. She said, Michael, 30 crowds is ridiculous. I said, nobody knows how many crowds is.

[Travis McElroy]

It's Monopoly money.

[Griffin McElroy]

Deborah, what are you eating for lunch? Cause that could be a real goose attraction vector.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, I thought you meant start a conversation with the goose.

[Paul McElroy]

I thought you were saying, hey, what.

[Travis McElroy]

Are you doing for lunch?

[Paul McElroy]

I thought you were saying, eat the goose for lunch.

[Griffin McElroy]

I guess there are a lot of ways that I guess there's a lot of ways that that sentence could be read. And I apologize for being all of them.

[Travis McElroy]

Work.

[Paul McElroy]

No more apologies. 20, 25.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, I don't like that as the motto.

[Paul McElroy]

Just for us personally, okay? No, wait, that's not good, Travis.

[Travis McElroy]

So here we are with our friends in Richmond. Hi, everybody. Hi. And I thought it would be fun to get the crowd involved and the crowd at home involved with a little play along at home Special ed.

[Griffin McElroy]

I have a tummy ache. And you're doing this on stage. By the way, this is the first time I heard audible boos in the audience. And I want you to know you are brave. You are brave.

[Travis McElroy]

You guys are gonna love this, okay? Because here's what's up. I have 10 questions.

[Griffin McElroy]

Fuck yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And I have 10$10 bills.

[Paul McElroy]

Wait, what?

[Travis McElroy]

And if my brothers get their questions right, I will give them $10 per question.

[Griffin McElroy]

You drop $10 backstage. And then was so weird about it. And now I know.

[Travis McElroy]

Now you know why. But if the round passes right, if they don't get the questions right, I'm gonna ask people in the audience.

[Paul McElroy]

Oh, my God.

[Travis McElroy]

And if you get. Probably people in the front, let's be honest. Sorry about that.

[Paul McElroy]

Sorry.

[Travis McElroy]

I will give them the money.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that's it. That's so gonna go so bad.

[Paul McElroy]

I'm so excited. Okay, you're setting up a situation. There's people in our work who are here talking about this in our work slack right now. I agree, everyone. It is an incredible idea. Okay, go ahead, Travis.

[Travis McElroy]

The first round's about Supernatural.

[Griffin McElroy]

Fuck you. No, no, no, no.

[Travis McElroy]

Fuck you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Also, you've created a situation where if we get questions right, the audience will be upset.

[Travis McElroy]

Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, sure.

[Travis McElroy]

Scene in Season six, Dean is given the chance to name a monster he first encountered. What does he name them?

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, he definitely calls them Piss Whistle the Devils.

[Travis McElroy]

Why are you so angry, Griffin? I've put my own money on the line to make this fun for you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, Gollum, with your fucking impossible riddles. I don't watch this television program and you know that.

[Travis McElroy]

Justin. In Supernatural, Castiel says to Dean at their first.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are you not gonna ask the audience what for? Okay, sorry. I've misunderstood the fucking rules of this game.

[Travis McElroy]

Because somebody needs to get both questions right to get 29, okay?

[Griffin McElroy]

I. Jesus Christ.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, Justin. In Supernatural, Castiel says to Dean at their first meeting. I am the one who gripped you tight and. What?

[Paul McElroy]

I am the one who gripped you tight and made you whole.

[Travis McElroy]

Beautiful, but not correct. Does someone here. You know both answers? Okay, what are the answers?

[Eva]

Jefferson Starship.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, Jefferson.

[Travis McElroy]

Correct.

[Paul McElroy]

Krypty tight.

[Travis McElroy]

Wow.

[Paul McElroy]

Well, you got it.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you very much.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is probably illegal.

[Paul McElroy]

We didn't look it up. Congratulations, Justin. Yeah, that's very good.

[Griffin McElroy]

Tell me, buddy. Cosplay. I feel it in my genuine soul right now. Oh. With the cap and everything. It's simply wonderful.

[Paul McElroy]

Hit me.

[Travis McElroy]

Before college, I attended the University of Oklahoma.

[Paul McElroy]

Say again for college?

[Travis McElroy]

I attended the University of Oklahoma.

[Paul McElroy]

No, kid.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah? What is the ou?

[Paul McElroy]

Oh, that wasn't the.

[Travis McElroy]

What is the ou? Call and response. Cheer.

[Paul McElroy]

Boomer. Sooner.

[Travis McElroy]

Correct.

[Paul McElroy]

Thank you so much.

[Griffin McElroy]

And did you hear the fucking response? Because they were like, that's $10. I'm not going to get Griffin this bit. Travis, you are finding new ways to make entertainment.

[Travis McElroy]

Griffin, where does the school mascot of the University of Oklahoma get its name?

[Griffin McElroy]

Fucking the wagons that they took out on the Oregon Trail to the. Great.

[Travis McElroy]

Incorrect. Does anyone know? Yes, you know. What is it? Perfect. Excellent. $10 for you.

[Griffin McElroy]

But the wagons.

[Paul McElroy]

Enjoy the 10 bucks. That's so cool. I got 10 bucks too, Paul.

[Griffin McElroy]

But the wagons. Aren't the wagons also called.

[Travis McElroy]

They're called schooners. That's what you were thinking of, just.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah, man.

[Travis McElroy]

Griffin, in how to train your dragon.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, great.

[Travis McElroy]

Hiccup's twin schoolmates. Hiccups are named Roughnut and. What?

[Griffin McElroy]

Piss whistle.

[Travis McElroy]

Incorrect. Justin.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Hiccup's dad is known as Blank the Blank.

[Paul McElroy]

Skimbleshanks. The Railway Cat.

[Travis McElroy]

So close, you know. Okay, what is it? Correct.

[Paul McElroy]

Wow. Congratulations.

[Griffin McElroy]

What was. Fucking Rough Nut's twin.

[Travis McElroy]

Tough nut.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, I gotta see these fucking movies, man.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay. Griffin, is this it? No. Fuck these questions about Wonder Man.

[Paul McElroy]

Spoken like somebody that doesn't have $10.

[Travis McElroy]

Griffin, wonder man.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Has two brothers, man. Vision is his younger brother from. Who is his older brother?

[Griffin McElroy]

Ultron. No, but Vision is Ultron's younger brother.

[Travis McElroy]

No.

[Griffin McElroy]

I really.

[Travis McElroy]

Here's.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can I say something, Travis? Since I realized that Justin has $10 and I do not. Yeah, I want to get one of these right? Pretty bad.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, groovy.

[Paul McElroy]

Can I just say, I have not appreciated $10 that I've earned. I can't tell you how long it's been since I've loved $10 this much. I've already got some snacks in the lobby of our hotel. I'm already thinking about. They had some sour gummy lifestyle. Oh, man.

[Travis McElroy]

Fuck.

[Paul McElroy]

And it said cash only.

[Travis McElroy]

Justin, what alias did Wonder man use in an alternate future when aiding the Guardians of the Galaxy?

[Paul McElroy]

Booster Gold.

[Travis McElroy]

Incorrect.

[Paul McElroy]

Skimbleshanks. The Railway Cat.

[Travis McElroy]

Incorrect.

[Paul McElroy]

Fuck.

[Travis McElroy]

Does anyone know? Yes. What are they?

[Griffin McElroy]

Grim Reaper.

[Travis McElroy]

Grim Reaper was his brother. Do you know? I'll give you 10.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just give him 10 fucking dollars. Paul, I think that's in the fucking balcony. My man. I'm so sorry.

[Paul McElroy]

The game's fucked up, right?

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, one more round. Dad just texted me that dad knew the answer, so I'm gonna give him $10. No, wait. It was Holly. Dad. It was Hollywood. That is correct. I'm gonna give dad $10. So now dad has $10 and Justin has $10. Sucks ass.

[Paul McElroy]

This is such a hyper targeted game that out of the over 1,000 people in the room, two of the people with $10 are on this stage. In his family. Like so far, that's the odds.

[Travis McElroy]

This is for dad. Okay, so Dad's why in the last round. This is about Pirates of the Caribbean. No, stop.

[Paul McElroy]

Dad.

[Travis McElroy]

Bring it to dad. I'll bring it to you.

[Paul McElroy]

No, I have to get it. No, dad is just dying to. No, dad.

[Travis McElroy]

Sorry.

[Paul McElroy]

This is a dollar ten, guys. It's driving him crazy. Dad, I promise I'll bring it to you.

[Travis McElroy]

Justin.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

In Pirates of the Curse of the Black Pearl, what is the name of the naval officer who is Will's rival for the love of Elizabeth?

[Paul McElroy]

Bill.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm looking for the last name Bill Sykes. Bill Sykes is incorrect.

[Griffin McElroy]

Griffin Wanda Sykes.

[Travis McElroy]

What is the name of the monkey in Pirates of the Caribbean?

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, I'll get this. I'll get this. It's not piss whistle as bad as I want it to say that.

[Travis McElroy]

Chippy Bananas.

[Griffin McElroy]

Donkey Kong.

[Travis McElroy]

No. Who Diddy Kong. I didn't call anyone from over here. Yes, correct.

[Paul McElroy]

Hey, great job.

[Travis McElroy]

We called the monkey Jack. It's Norrington and Jack. Thank you everybody for playing. Win Travis McElroy's money and you guys are cool reimbursing me out of the process.

[Paul McElroy]

This is what I do like is.

[Griffin McElroy]

That I didn't win $10, but I also didn't lose $100.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't see it as losing. I provided enjoyment on this stage.

[Griffin McElroy]

I came in second place.

[Travis McElroy]

I mean, I guess if dad and Justin. Third place. Third place. Yeah.

[Paul McElroy]

My sister's birthday is in about a month and she loves Frasier. What are some fun Frasier themed things that I can do for her? And that's from. I'm listening to your suggestions.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are you here?

[Travis McElroy]

All right, it's Frasier, the original, right? Not Frasier, the reboot.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's so much lore in Frasier. The reboot.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, it's after the zombies attack, right?

[Griffin McElroy]

It was after he tore down the Pillars of sin. Do you guys remember at the end of the first run of Frasier where he tears down the Pillars of sin?

[Travis McElroy]

I remember that.

[Griffin McElroy]

He causes the fourth impact and it happens right in Seattle.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. And the dog talks.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, but right at the end, Niles turns into Juice. The dog talks. It's a kick ass episode of television at first blush.

[Paul McElroy]

Richmond, Virginia does not seem to be that close to Seattle, where Frazier is.

[Travis McElroy]

I thought you mean like physically.

[Paul McElroy]

You look at a map, right? We're talking about climate wise. It's going to be tough to evoke that Frazier feeling.

[Griffin McElroy]

As everyone knows, Pacific Northwest, the moody sort of.

[Paul McElroy]

If you were to draw a line, it's pretty far away is what I'm saying. This is not close to Seattle at all. So we've got to recreate the experience here. I looked it up. You all do have a needle. Like in Seattle. It's called the. It says the Richmond needle. Yeah, it's on the RVA Reddit. I don't know. It just says Richmond needle. I don't know. So you guys can look into that if you want, but that's the closest you have to a needle. And next up would be like, who's like your guys big radio psychiatrist. Because I googled it and I was like, biggest radio psychiatrist in Richmond. And I don't have a lot of hits on that one. So I don't know if you guys have.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think it's just syndicated Frasier.

[Travis McElroy]

I think it's now right there. It was so low hanging, it was almost touching the ground. Was the fruit served? Tossed salad and scrambled eggs. And you went with. I'm gonna Google recreate Frasier on the.

[Griffin McElroy]

Opposite end of the nation.

[Paul McElroy]

I know you can get tossed salad and scrambled eggs in Richmond, Virginia. Right. I'm trying to evoke that Frasier feeling, guys.

[Travis McElroy]

You could also probably find an old man in a chair pretty easily.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah, Travis, that would be really helpful. Thank you for finally being productive. I think it would be yelling at me.

[Travis McElroy]

It would be easier to Google Martin Crane impersonator. Slow down.

[Paul McElroy]

I can't type that fast.

[Travis McElroy]

Martin Crane impersonator brings on chair, Richmond area.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Cause we want to expand it out M4M. And that stands for my Forster's birthday.

[Travis McElroy]

Martin for my sister.

[Griffin McElroy]

Martin for my sister.

[Travis McElroy]

Now this is important. Does he need to bring his own dog or not? Because that's gonna cost you extra.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah, that's a little extra. Oh, the coffee. Also, according to the rva, Reddit, roastology, and the ironclad, those to the places you want to go for the best coffee. So you take it to those places, and then in every one, you're like, you smell it, right? You smell the Frasier Vessons. You smell the Frasier, like that distinct. I mean, that Frasier feeling.

[Travis McElroy]

I can't.

[Paul McElroy]

I try to say it another way, but it is that Frasier feeling. So you do a whole day, you go to this needle that you guys are obviously crazy about.

[Travis McElroy]

What looks like a broadcast tower.

[Paul McElroy]

It is a broadcast tower. I don't think it's a landmark. I think it's a broadcast tower. Someone put a picture up. I mean, you found an.

[Travis McElroy]

And now he's the old man. In the chair with the dog at the tower or the coffee shop.

[Paul McElroy]

This post is from 10 days ago. I know. The needle is still there. Okay, just go look at it yourself.

[Travis McElroy]

And then you take him to a coffee.

[Paul McElroy]

Google Seattle. No, Richmond. Yeah, Google Richmond. Space Needle. And then go to the RVA Reddit. Right. And then there's a picture there and people are gonna see it. Be like, oh, shit, the needle. I don't know why we were giving such a such a hard time.

[Travis McElroy]

And so then you take your sister to a coffee shop and you say.

[Paul McElroy]

Not just any coffee shop, the Ironclad or Roastology to get that Frasier feeling.

[Travis McElroy]

And while you're in the coffee shop, you say, we're getting coffee just like they did on Frasier. Happy birthday. You're paying because I spent every cent I had hiring this Martin Crane impersonator who brings his own chair.

[Paul McElroy]

But he got the date wrong and.

[Travis McElroy]

He didn't make it. Oh yeah, he'll be here next week. Oh, but it's the same day you have that surgery. Oh, no.

[Paul McElroy]

Oh, no.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can I ask, do you guys know about Frasier or are you.

[Paul McElroy]

That's about a third.

[Griffin McElroy]

That was about a third. I will say that that just about tracks. Yeah, that does make sense. I think you could probably just get your sister Frasier on DVD and she'd be happy with that because probably doesn't have a lot of people to talk to about Frasier.

[Travis McElroy]

Maybe that's it. Maybe for your sister's birthday. You say you have one hour to tell me everything you can remember about Frasier. Everything you want to tell me about fan theories about Frasier. Everything. Every deleted scene in blooper you've ever seen. And I will not make a face. Nope. I will not be judgmental. Nope. And I'll just be here for it and let him. And I guarantee they're going to get 15 minutes in and run out of steam.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And then you're set. And then you take the coffee with an old man in a chair.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think a kick ass party is you sit your sister down and you just put on that video of Kelsey Grammer falling off the stage on like an hour long loop. That's going to treat you just right.

[Travis McElroy]

And maybe in reverse. So this time because your sister loves Frazier so much, it looks like Fraser's arise.

[Griffin McElroy]

He's not terribly injured. And Paul, I'm going to need you to pull that up now a reverse.

[Paul McElroy]

Kelsey, how about another question?

[Travis McElroy]

If you could pull up reverse Kelsey Grammer falling off the stage in front of the Richmond Needle.

[Griffin McElroy]

That would be. That's so dope.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah, just Photoshop that for me, Paul.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sometimes we give Paul little activities to do because we don't have a lot of sort of technical requirements for our show. So we don't want him to get bored. We'll give him a boy.

[Travis McElroy]

And he finishes the word search so quickly.

[Griffin McElroy]

These days.

[Paul McElroy]

I'm a special agent for the state and I'm also an avid. I'm an avid musical theater fan. It is not uncommon for me to be belting out some of my favorite numbers in the car as I do a lot of driving. One of my co workers witnessed one of my showstoppers while I was following them, and they described seeing someone in uniform screaming in their car. This is quote, quote, screaming in their car as they go down the road as unsettling. I've tried to adjust by singing everything in deadpan, but it just feels like I'm yawning. Brothers. How can I continue to support the arts in my heart while not also freaking out the public? That's from really regret riding in rva. Are you here?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Jesse]

Yep.

[Travis McElroy]

Yep.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are you the guy from Storage Wars?

[Travis McElroy]

I just want to say that if you take a thing that looks like screaming and don't alter that part, but rather make your face deadpan, it sounds.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like, you know, the part that you gotta fix first.

[Travis McElroy]

Cause I don't think that looks like yawning.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah. If you're trying. Yeah. If you're trying to scream without it look like you're screaming. That's kind of my thing. I'm doing it all the time. So it's the. The number is very important. Right. Because the threatening like of a Les Mis where you have a Javert and a Valje, like squaring off.

[Travis McElroy]

Right?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Paul McElroy]

I don't think you want it to be a duet because then there's extended periods where you are very animated and then you still have to buy into the moment. And that's probably worse to see is someone listening with intent in their car just kind of like, well.

[Travis McElroy]

And reacting.

[Griffin McElroy]

How dare.

[Paul McElroy]

You know, like, yeah, ad libbing. Maybe throw in an ad lib.

[Griffin McElroy]

It doesn't. I don't know exactly what your job entails, but I don't know.

[Travis McElroy]

Special agent for the state.

[Paul McElroy]

It's all there.

[Griffin McElroy]

But I don't want you doing a two hander in the front seat of your. Of your vehicle. I don't believe.

[Travis McElroy]

I think you went the wrong direction because you took it and you said I made it more deadpan. I Think you gotta zhuzh it up. I think you need some, like, sparkly curtains in there.

[Griffin McElroy]

You need some jazz hands and automobile.

[Paul McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

And you're gonna need some maybe lighting effects, maybe some makeup.

[Paul McElroy]

Great.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, for sure.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, oh. Like, I think you should leave. You should have a phantom mask decal on the window so that as you sing, you turn into.

[Paul McElroy]

Lean into it. Oh, that's good shit, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

What if just all over your windows and windshields you had different masks, so depending on where you moved your face, you could be any kind of trauma.

[Paul McElroy]

But it is a government vehicle, so that might create driving park next to.

[Griffin McElroy]

The other special agent cars. Be like, which one's yours? The one with all the drama masks on it.

[Paul McElroy]

I think your co worker just fell for one of the oldest special agent tests in the world. And that's. Keep your eye on the road.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Paul McElroy]

There's a lot of the danger, I gotta say. It's the danger to like. I googled it. Dignitaries and passports, as near as I could tell.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sorry, what's that job again?

[Paul McElroy]

Special agents, as near as I can tell from Googling, mainly cover visiting dignitaries and passport crime. That's my best guess from a cursory Google. These two go hand in hand.

[Travis McElroy]

Often.

[Paul McElroy]

I didn't read the website closely, but the two things I didn't admit it being a cursory Google. I think I made that pretty clear. Yeah. A passport crime and protecting visiting dignitaries, I think.

[Travis McElroy]

Was there a visiting dignitary in your car while you were building show tunes? Yeah, because that's incredible.

[Griffin McElroy]

What a wonderful immersive experience you must be giving them. Or was there a passport burglar in the car?

[Paul McElroy]

You never know what kind of car.

[Travis McElroy]

That's great because. Yeah. Listen, this passport isn't gonna grant you entry to this country, but it is gonna grant you one ticket to the greatest show on the road. Get in here. I'm doing all the works from a Brand New Brain, or whatever it's called. Brand New Brain.

[Paul McElroy]

Brand New Brain.

[Travis McElroy]

What's it called?

[Griffin McElroy]

Brand New Brain. Travis, you got it in one. And we'll be right back.

[Paul McElroy]

Bye. Is that. Is it bad? Olivia.

[Travis McElroy]

Hi. We're the McElroy brothers. You've just caught us on tour. That's right. We're recording these on the road and when we travel, we mail ourselves in giant envelopes like Flat Stanley did.

[Paul McElroy]

That's right.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's true, Travis. We let ourselves get squished with a big bulletin board and we mail ourselves like Flat Stanley. Does it?

[Paul McElroy]

This used to be 88% more of a fucking pain in the ass because it used to be a lot more expensive before we found out about the stamps.com and then they started hooking us up with some rates we couldn't find anywhere else that were up to 88% off the USPS and UPS.

[Travis McElroy]

Now getting a bicycle pump and having our daddy pump us back up into normal people, that's still on us.

[Griffin McElroy]

Stamps can't help us with that. I don't want. That's an intimate process. I don't want stamps.com?

[Paul McElroy]

Stamps will not reinflate you.

[Travis McElroy]

There's noises that happen during that that no other human being should be forced to hear.

[Paul McElroy]

Have more flexibility in your life with stamps.com. sign [e-mail] and use code mybrother for a special offer that includes a free four week trial plus free postage and free digital scale. No long term commitments or contracts, just go to stamps.com, code my brother. You know, we talk about stamps.com a lot. Trust us, if you haven't done it, stop listening to it. Just do it. It'll make your life a lot more convenient.

[Travis McElroy]

It's going to change everything.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's going to change everything. Just like when the big bulletin board fell on me and it did squish me flat. Which is very fun and funny. But what they don't tell you in flat, Stanley, is that it also did extreme severe damage to all of my internal organs.

[Paul McElroy]

And you know, Griffin, when you're living in a new area, it can be hard to find a re inflation doctor that you can trust.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, one that can tuck all those internal organs back into your body after you've been squished.

[Griffin McElroy]

When you get squished flat, there's nowhere for the organs and bones to go.

[Travis McElroy]

Yep.

[Griffin McElroy]

And so I did need a special doctor for that and I did find them on Zocdoc.

[Paul McElroy]

Wow.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wow. Yeah, you would think. Washington D.C. you can't throw a stick without hitting an inflation doctor.

[Paul McElroy]

Inflation doctor. You must be talking about Joseph Biden.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't you see the good Christ.

[Griffin McElroy]

Almighty and Jesus political stuff?

[Paul McElroy]

You guys like political stuff?

[Griffin McElroy]

It says actually right here in the acronym for zocdoc. It says get extra political on this one. It says get nasty on Joe Biden on this one. ZOCDOC is a free app and website where you can search and find. Griffin, I don't see that it's at the bottom.

[Paul McElroy]

Okay, thanks.

[Griffin McElroy]

Where you can compare high quality in network doctors. Choose the right one for your needs and click to Instantly book an appointment. We're talking about in network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty from mental health, dental health, eye care to skincare and much more. Plus Zocdoc appointments happen fast, usually within 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same day appointments. I really have used Zocdoc more times than I can count to find specialists and Doctors in Washington D.C. the best.

[Paul McElroy]

Doctors, I swore to him we found the best doctors. And it wasn't till at zocdoc that we found Griffin the best doctor getting the help he needs.

[Travis McElroy]

You know, when I need real medical advice on whether or not people understand a flat Stanley reference in 2025, I look for that doctor on Zocdoc. And then Zocdoc tells me we don't have doctors for that. And I say, what about, I don't know, eye exams? And they're like, yeah, we can do that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, we actually can do that. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments. Go to zocdoc.com mybrother to find an instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's z o c-o c.com mybrother zocdoc.com.

[Travis McElroy]

Mybrother now we also have some announcements we wanna tell you about. First of all, thank you to everybody who came out for the Raleigh and Charlotte and Richmond shows. It was a wonderful time. Thank you all for being there. We got more coming up. We're coming to the Origins Game Fair in Columbus, Ohio, June 19th through the 22nd. Tickets are on sale now for that and for shows in Michigan, Minnesota and Ohio. All Taz shows this go round are going to be Taz Versus. You can get all the info and ticket links at Bit Ly McRoytours. We got that new merch over at the merch store, including the Ethersea dice designed by Evelyn Gorgeous. Make sure you check those out. And 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the National Immigration Project.

[Griffin McElroy]

So go check that out. Come see us on tour and keep it so chill, like casual. It doesn't have to be a big deal. Keep on a big thing and we'll see you next. We'll catch you on the flip.

[Paul McElroy]

Come take a sip from my special. What the is happening?

[Travis McElroy]

We clearly didn't sound check this. Richard is gonna wear himself out.

[Paul McElroy]

Hi, you're welcome. It's me, Richard Stink. I'm back on the show.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hi Richard.

[Paul McElroy]

My new music, I roll it.

[Travis McElroy]

Richard, you need to let us know when you're gonna Be on the show so we can sound check. Your intro music sounded really, really super good to me.

[Paul McElroy]

Sorry, you don't party.

[Travis McElroy]

You also need to. You need to let us know also, so we can move the helmet out of the way so you don't know what strip over at. I thought you paid a guy to do that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Richard, your sound cue blasted a kidney stone from me and then put a new one in it.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah, right. It's actually. It's Ambroxan. It's a rock of pure fragrance hidden inside your belly.

[Travis McElroy]

What?

[Paul McElroy]

When you pass it, it will be so fresh in your bathroom. You will thank me later.

[Griffin McElroy]

When I pass a kidney, it makes my bathroom smell so good. Oh, thank you.

[Paul McElroy]

When I give you the kidney stone. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Awesome.

[Travis McElroy]

Will it make a plink noise? Cause that's happened to me before.

[Paul McElroy]

No, it's a. Ah.

[Travis McElroy]

I didn't say plink when I passed the kidney stone, Richard.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah, that's the sound the kidney stone makes when it hits the bowl.

[Travis McElroy]

It will say, ah.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's effervescent.

[Paul McElroy]

Time for a quiz, guys. I want to learn a little bit more about you. All right, I always ask you your five signature scents for spring or summer or any season, and you say, I don't even have a scent, let alone many scents.

[Griffin McElroy]

I do scent.

[Travis McElroy]

And then you ask us a lot about our walk with Christ.

[Paul McElroy]

Well, guess what? That's later. Right now, I'm going to give you a quiz. I found it on WikiHow, your favorite site.

[Travis McElroy]

So just to clarify, Richard, right now you're combining giving us a test on stage and wikiHow? Yeah, just the two segments. We've already done.

[Paul McElroy]

Just. Justin warned me the energy would be weird with you. All right, here we go, guys.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, you talked with Justin off stage?

[Paul McElroy]

I talk with Justin every day. It's Justin, then Christ and Justin again.

[Travis McElroy]

The old Justin Christ sandwich.

[Paul McElroy]

I like to ketch him up. Hey, listen, it's time for a crisp.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can you put ketchum up on your Christ Justin sandwich?

[Paul McElroy]

I'm gonna do a crisp for both of you so I get a scent that encapsulates both your spirit and soul.

[Travis McElroy]

A sense of our sin.

[Paul McElroy]

Okay, big guy, you're first. How would you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Which one of us is the big guy?

[Paul McElroy]

How would you describe. If you have to ask, it's not you. How would you describe. Sorry. I mean, it's true.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm a burly princess.

[Paul McElroy]

I mean, if you have to ask, it's true. All right. How would you describe the sense you love best?

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, you've done a lot of tongue work since you've been on.

[Paul McElroy]

Shut up. Sweet and flirty, warm and spicy. Sultry and seductive or fun and happy? Man.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, what was the third one?

[Griffin McElroy]

And the fourth one?

[Paul McElroy]

Sultry and seductive. Down here. Sultry and seductive or fun and happy? There's 12 answer quick.

[Travis McElroy]

Sorry. So sorry.

[Paul McElroy]

What was fun and happy, sultry and seduct. I don't need to keep saying that one. It's not that. It's warm and spicy, sweet and flirty, fun and happy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Definitively it's not.

[Paul McElroy]

Definitely not the third one. If you say it, I won't mark it. So sweet and flirty, warm and spicy. Fun and happy.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm warm and spicy.

[Paul McElroy]

Thank you. Easy.

[Travis McElroy]

Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah?

[Paul McElroy]

Pick a location.

[Travis McElroy]

Why? Okay.

[Paul McElroy]

The beach at midnight. There's no sound, but there is a crashing wave. Cozy kitchen with cookies.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's no sound, but there's a crashing wave.

[Paul McElroy]

No sound.

[Travis McElroy]

So a silent crashing.

[Paul McElroy]

I did the accent wrong again. Man, this English, unbelievable. It's my first language. It's just hard. A cozy kitchen with cookies making the oven and the snow falling outside. Or a misty English countryside garden, early morning, pip pip, bright bustling city on a summer day. I mean, cookies in the Vespa, cruising through the city streets.

[Griffin McElroy]

It sounds like you're jazzing on some of these Rich.

[Paul McElroy]

I thought you liked jazz. Come on, answer.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cookies in the kitchen.

[Paul McElroy]

Richard Gourmand. Look in the mirror. What do you see? Big guy?

[Travis McElroy]

Myself.

[Paul McElroy]

Someone trying to hide. Royalty. Well, royalty. Someone who could get anyone they want. Easy. Or I just see me. No more, no less.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, royalty.

[Paul McElroy]

No, first thought, best thought. All right, Griffin.

[Travis McElroy]

What do you.

[Paul McElroy]

What?

[Griffin McElroy]

You know my name now? That's cool.

[Paul McElroy]

You've been Griffin both times. What smell do you gravitate towards, man? Bouquet of fresh flowers? Or a snickerdoodle?

[Travis McElroy]

How come I can't.

[Paul McElroy]

Or this seems specifically.

[Travis McElroy]

I like how you phrased it. Like it was two owners competing over which one the dog really liked. And you had fresh flowers over here and snickered it over here. And which one does Griffin go towards?

[Paul McElroy]

We got two weak old puppy. Not that W E, A K. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Look at that weak old puppy.

[Paul McElroy]

The week old puppy got Jack disease. It's hysterical.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, even. Even in the other context, week old puppy sounds like leftovers of the worst variety.

[Travis McElroy]

Also, a week old puppy isn't going anywhere.

[Paul McElroy]

No, and it don't. So do you like a smell of it or is it bad?

[Travis McElroy]

Can I have just say. Oh, I thought you were talking about my dog. Thing. But literally one of the options is a weak old puppy.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah, or the woods after a heavy rain.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, I like woods after a heavy rain.

[Paul McElroy]

Easy. God, Travis, if you were an item at a thrift store, what would you be on sale? A vintage wedding dress, a string of pearls, a wicker cabinet, or a half empty bottle of perfume?

[Travis McElroy]

Sorry, those are my only options.

[Paul McElroy]

This is the only one that has.

[Travis McElroy]

A. I would be an old ass wedding dress.

[Paul McElroy]

Okay, perfect.

[Travis McElroy]

No, sorry, that was a question. The die is cast.

[Griffin McElroy]

He already clicked.

[Paul McElroy]

Don't play games with me, baby.

[Travis McElroy]

Do you believe in Kristen?

[Paul McElroy]

Do you believe in fake? It's important to your scent journey.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, no, it's on there.

[Paul McElroy]

Do you want the choices?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, sure.

[Paul McElroy]

Totally. I think so. That's what you said. It's in there. I'm not even going further. Travis, what sense do you normally wear? Masculine, feminine, gender neutral, or I wear whatever.

[Travis McElroy]

How is there a difference between gender neutral? Gender neutral and I wear whatever.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah, I don't have a really good answer, but like. And not the funny one. At least. You want to push a button or you want me to.

[Travis McElroy]

Gender neutral. Thank you.

[Paul McElroy]

Griffin, where do you wear perfume? Smell them and tell me if it's here.

[Griffin McElroy]

Travis, I wouldn't recommend it, man.

[Travis McElroy]

I actually.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can I say I had a bottle of hair oil come open in my luggage last time I traveled with this outfit, and so it smells a little bit like hair oil. And that ain't half bad, folks.

[Paul McElroy]

The other half is bad, but half of it is pretty good. Hey, listen, Griffin, where do you wear perfume to sleep? Just to work our school? On hot dates or fun nights out or. I don't usually wear perfume.

[Travis McElroy]

Do people wear perfume to sleep?

[Griffin McElroy]

Sorry, is there a fifth option on here that says I don't normally wear perfume?

[Paul McElroy]

If you do, the answer, you're saying why you did this whole quiz about it.

[Griffin McElroy]

I will put on a scent for a date with my wife sometime.

[Paul McElroy]

Beautiful. All right. So cool. Wow, we really love it, Griffin. Very fun. Travis, what's your vibe? What's your vibe? Fresh and clean, Glamorous and classic, Whimsical and witchy? Or happy? Go, lucky and friendly or fresh and clean?

[Travis McElroy]

Can I be glamorous and witchy?

[Paul McElroy]

Absolutely not. I'll pick one for you. Okay, Griffin, what do you value the most? Comfort, passion, adventure, love? Or your brothers?

[Griffin McElroy]

The brothers is not on there. It says it right there, I gotta say. Then, brother.

[Paul McElroy]

Pick a different one, though, just in case.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just in case what?

[Paul McElroy]

And not on there, man. Fashion, adventure Gary, should have listened to your heart. I pushed passion. You said it first. Travis, what would you describe yourself as? A leader or more of a follower?

[Griffin McElroy]

There's only two choices.

[Paul McElroy]

Definitely a leader. Probably more of a follower. Neither. I go off on my own and I guess if people follow you, you hide from them. I'd rather be a follower, but people look to me to lead.

[Travis McElroy]

How is that not reversed? I'd rather be a leader.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just pick one.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm a leader.

[Paul McElroy]

Pick one, man.

[Travis McElroy]

Right. Do you guys think I'm a leader? Rich? Definitely. A true leader has to ask other people if he's a leader that had.

[Griffin McElroy]

Such huge Jeb Bush please clap energy that it was.

[Travis McElroy]

I was trying to go for a joke about being a leader who needed to be told he was a leader and it seemed desperate. So maybe that tells me a lot about myself, actually.

[Griffin McElroy]

Does that answer the question?

[Paul McElroy]

Last question. If you were as scent, how sin.

[Griffin McElroy]

These images, Paul, are absolutely.

[Paul McElroy]

If you want a scent, how would this are? Just my desktop screensavers, man. Don't give him a hard time. If you were a scent.

[Travis McElroy]

Is that the evil planet from Fifth Element?

[Paul McElroy]

This is just from Dune. It's a poster from Dune. Listen, if you were a scent, Griffin, how would you want people to feel when they smelled you turned on?

[Griffin McElroy]

Read more options, please, Richard. Fuck.

[Paul McElroy]

Why do you need more options than turned on? Warm and fuzzy at business, getting fired at a funeral. What do you mean turned on?

[Travis McElroy]

Right.

[Paul McElroy]

Perfect. You gotta wait for the test to complete the calculations. Hold on. How.

[Griffin McElroy]

How intense is the processing power of the wiki?

[Paul McElroy]

It's gotta go, I guess. It's doing an ad, actually.

[Travis McElroy]

I think you have to push the arrow.

[Paul McElroy]

I can't push the arrow. It'll open the ad. I'm sore of it, man. Nope. Wait. Yeah, I'll push the arrow. Nope.

[Travis McElroy]

Griffin, you're the one that knows about this.

[Paul McElroy]

Come on, fix it.

[Travis McElroy]

This is actively stealing all your data.

[Paul McElroy]

No, man, no. Don't go backwards. We've already come so far. No, it's the an again.

[Griffin McElroy]

Griffin.

[Paul McElroy]

Come on. There it is. Your amber. Amber is the color of the energy. You're amber. That's sandalwood. I'm Richard Stink. Thank you so much for your time. I appreciate it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Richard, if you don't mind sticking around, I'd love to do some live audience questions. And we actually do have one for Richard, if we could get Tim H. Hey, you had a question for Richard Stink. As fate would have it, he's here.

[Travis McElroy]

Excellent. Yes, I followed Richard's advice earlier and My wife's biggest fandom is for Antonio Banderas. And so I learned that there was Antonio Banderas fragrance and I bought it for her for Christmas, even though it was for me, so that I would be the gift. But I'm not sure that it is.

[Griffin McElroy]

You felt great saying that sentence out loud, didn't you? I could tell.

[Paul McElroy]

Go ahead.

[Griffin McElroy]

So that I may become the vessel of Antonio Banderas and be the gift.

[Travis McElroy]

But I'm not sure it's strong enough or potent enough. I was wondering if you knew of any other celebrity oriented fragrances that might be even more effective.

[Paul McElroy]

What is.

[Travis McElroy]

What is.

[Paul McElroy]

What is your name?

[Travis McElroy]

Tim.

[Paul McElroy]

Tim is Tim.

[Travis McElroy]

Tim.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm so sorry, Tim. We've never done this before. No one's asked Richard a question at a live podcast. Of course he's going to. He'll say some stuff that's probably a little rude.

[Paul McElroy]

Okay, listen, Tim, listen. I've smelled Antonio Banderas entire line. Every single one of them is strong.

[Travis McElroy]

Enough for a Tim.

[Paul McElroy]

Okay? Trust me, man. Trust me. It's not trust me. This is spray number. You gotta use the patented Richard Stink 13 spray technique.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wow.

[Paul McElroy]

Three on the wrist. Three on the wrist, six on the legs. If you insist.

[Travis McElroy]

That's only 12, Richard.

[Paul McElroy]

Where does the 13th go? This is the puzzle you must solve by answering my riddles in the new Dan Brown novel. So, Tim, just Spraymore, does that help? A question.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, Tim, since your wife is in the Antonio Banderas fandom, is there an internal struggle between whether it's the fantonios or the fanderases?

[Griffin McElroy]

Is there a ruling on that though?

[Paul McElroy]

I must be here for this.

[Griffin McElroy]

You don't. Richard, you can actually go. Thank you so much, Richard. Thank you so much, Richard Stink. Thank you so much, Tim. Man, you guys aren't gonna believe this, but I see Richard Stink just off stage getting fully nude.

[Travis McElroy]

And it's a lot of like a Sailor Moon type transition, which is amazing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wow, that's so weird.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, Juice, you're back.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, welcome. Hey, we're just doing the show, man.

[Paul McElroy]

What were you doing? Griffin gave me his food poisoning.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's true.

[Travis McElroy]

Communicable food poisoning is the worst. Hello.

[Eva]

Hey, you guys helped me get rid of 10,000 Orbeez last year for my school dance.

[Paul McElroy]

Yes. You're gonna.

[Travis McElroy]

Can you get right up on the microphone there for me?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Paul McElroy]

You're gonna have to be more specific. We make a lot of orbeez disappear on this show.

[Travis McElroy]

We're three men with a very particular set of skills.

[Eva]

It's great they had Me help with decorating the school dance last year, but the Orbeez just wouldn't go away.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Eva]

So we ended up giving them to Pennywise, per your suggestion.

[Paul McElroy]

Good.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that'll do it every time. And Pennywise like that.

[Eva]

He loved it because then it took away all the water and he could have more guests.

[Griffin McElroy]

So it took. Sorry. In this fiction, and this may have been jokes we made a year. I forget jokes I make about two weeks after I make them.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't remember act one of this show.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. So I don't remember saying, give Pennywise all the Orbeez. So it sucks up the water so he has more room for kids. Yeah, but that doesn't.

[Travis McElroy]

Is that a thing we talked about? Because that would be wild if Pennywise was like, I'd love to have more kids down here, but dang, if I.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can find their room so wet in the sewers. So, Bonnie, is it just checking in to let us know that we kicked ass?

[Eva]

Partially. But also they've asked me to decorate for the dance again this year. Okay, so avoid Orbeez. But the theme is capes and crowns. And I just want to know where you guys would go with that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Capes, capes, capes, capes and crowns.

[Eva]

And crowns.

[Griffin McElroy]

So say if it's cakes and crowns, I know what to do with 10,000 cakes, and that's give them to me.

[Travis McElroy]

Tell them that you're going to need 500 real diamonds, and then you're going to stage a heist.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

The greatest heist that school has ever seen.

[Griffin McElroy]

You work at, like, Richie Riches Elementary School, right? Because they can afford 500 diamonds in this. No, shoot.

[Travis McElroy]

You should make it capes or crowns, where you get a bunch of crowns and a bunch of superhero capes and they do not connect at all.

[Paul McElroy]

What is the theme? Is it capes? Like.

[Eva]

Like superhero capes, but then, like, princess crowns?

[Travis McElroy]

I was right. Get the fuck out. Yeah, my thing was a dumb joke.

[Eva]

I thought it basically because they said that a lot of the superheroes and princesses have the same, like, color palette of, like, blue, red.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, Bonnie, that's nothing.

[Travis McElroy]

Were they trying to come up with a theme the same way we come up with a year theme?

[Griffin McElroy]

It's hard. It's really hard. We respect that for sure.

[Eva]

I'm like, don't really know what they.

[Griffin McElroy]

Want me to do. Yeah, with capes and crowns.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, can the capes come off of the crowns so it's one piece.

[Eva]

What if they're attached to the crowns, like, medieval style?

[Griffin McElroy]

If they're attached to the crowns medieval style. That's going to be a tripping hazard for these clumsy elementary school students. Why is your elementary school having a dance? I guess is my first question. They don't know what they're doing.

[Eva]

It's an attendance incentive. So if they've had a certain amount of attendance, they get a ticket, they.

[Griffin McElroy]

Get to come to school at night.

[Travis McElroy]

Kick ass incentive. That's so funny because it feels like if it was middle school school, they wouldn't have to come as a reward. You attended so much. You don't have to be here, Travis.

[Griffin McElroy]

Capes and crowns. Capes and crowns. Is there a superhero that wears a crown other than Jesus Christ?

[Paul McElroy]

Was that you exclaiming about how funny this is? Or was that you thinking of your favorite superheroes from the Bible?

[Travis McElroy]

Because I also don't remember Jesus wearing a cape. I think I'll raise that man from the dead.

[Paul McElroy]

Let me use my zapping rays. Does that help?

[Griffin McElroy]

No. Wait, I'm not done.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay.

[Paul McElroy]

Oh, wow. Okay, good news.

[Griffin McElroy]

What do you got so far? Can you give us what you've got so far to kind of like launch?

[Paul McElroy]

Sounds like you're done.

[Eva]

Last week they told me what the theme was and told me what the colors were.

[Paul McElroy]

What are the colors?

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, Bonnie, what are the colors?

[Griffin McElroy]

Red and blue, right?

[Eva]

Did I tell you the dance is like May 5th?

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, so it's quite soon.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, we got a month. What are the colors?

[Eva]

The red, blue and yellow.

[Griffin McElroy]

Red. Blue.

[Travis McElroy]

All right, so Superman.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Thank you, Travis. I think that was probably the initiating kind of.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, Griffin. I'm doing my goddamn best.

[Paul McElroy]

What is. What is that?

[Griffin McElroy]

Those three colors have to do with crowns though, I guess is my question.

[Eva]

It's like Snow White and like Belle. Have some blue and red and yellow.

[Griffin McElroy]

I hate to do this, but it kind of seems like can you make a competitive dance theme where it's capes versus crown?

[Travis McElroy]

Yes. Or a Squid games theme? Everyone gets a cape, but there's one crown.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's cool. Elementary schoolers for some reason can't get enough of squid games.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, it's Mr. Beast, isn't it?

[Griffin McElroy]

It's Mr. Fucking Beast.

[Travis McElroy]

They love that guy. Cuz they love misters and authority figures who can't design games. Can you do a Mr. Beast themed thing? Oh, yeah. You're too La Beast.

[Griffin McElroy]

Capes and crowns and Mr.

[Travis McElroy]

Beast.

[Eva]

I would if I would. I don't know if the PTO committee would go first.

[Travis McElroy]

They don't have to know.

[Paul McElroy]

Give them my number. Call me. I'll I'll straighten them out, no problem. That's one of the strongest services we offer.

[Griffin McElroy]

This podcast we explained to out of touch school superintendents who Mr.

[Travis McElroy]

Beast is and why it's funny to do it now in 2025 and not anytime a decade ago.

[Griffin McElroy]

Does that help, Bonnie?

[Travis McElroy]

It does help.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you so much.

[Eva]

Thank you very much.

[Paul McElroy]

Thanks for checking in.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hello. Approach, please. Hello.

[Jocelyn]

Hi, this is Marissa with the dentist.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hi, Marissa with the dentist. I'm very excited for your question.

[Paul McElroy]

Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

So can you angle the microphone up just a little bit so we can hear you very. Thank you so much. Hello.

[Paul McElroy]

Hello.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah, so I chat with my dentist a lot and our conversation had kind of come to a lull and we're comfortable. So I said, have you ever been bit before by, like a client? And he said, no.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, did you say in the question by a client or just in general?

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm glad.

[Paul McElroy]

I'm glad if you said, like, actually don't answer with a joke. I need you to tell us the 100% truth to the nearest of your recollection.

[Jocelyn]

I said, have you been bit by an adult before?

[Paul McElroy]

Hey, Marissa.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey. That's actually the worst. The worst. Okay.

[Paul McElroy]

Is there a question. How do I find a new dentist? Because my last dentist was like, you have to go.

[Travis McElroy]

You have to go. How do I find a new town to live in?

[Paul McElroy]

That's actually on a list I have printed up of things you have to go. If you say to the dentist, but I like him.

[Jocelyn]

He cleans my teeth good.

[Paul McElroy]

Have you ever been bitten by an adult?

[Jocelyn]

Yes. And then he says, no, I haven't, and gets back to puts his hands in my mouth. And he says, put pressure. So I kind of bite down a little. I thought maybe he was putting in the X ray thing. And then he says again, no, put pressure. So I thought, oh, okay. And I like. And he goes, ow. And I realized that that was his thumb and not plastic.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Jocelyn]

And he was telling me that he was going to be putting pressure on my.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, he said it in a pretty crazy way.

[Paul McElroy]

I think we can all agree.

[Travis McElroy]

Marissa, I was ready to judge the shit out of you. Let's be honest. But after you asked, have you ever been bit by an adult before? And then your dentist stuck their thumb in your mouth.

[Jocelyn]

There was no delay. I asked him that. He said, no, I bit him.

[Travis McElroy]

Every mistake. Every mistake. After the first mistake you made of asking the question is on your mouth.

[Paul McElroy]

But the scale of the initial mistake cannot be overstated.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes. Because it adds a sort of Premeditated element to this.

[Travis McElroy]

It does. Because there's an implied. Because you're gonna.

[Paul McElroy]

Not a premeditated so much as a trailer for the crime.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Paul McElroy]

It was like. You know how when they have the trailer before the trailer and you're like, fuck, we're doomed. Huh? Yeah. Anyway, it's like a short trailer before the trailer. If you don't have the attention span to watch a two minute fucking trailer.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah. Go off King.

[Paul McElroy]

Don't worry, Batman's in it.

[Travis McElroy]

I know.

[Paul McElroy]

Batman's on the first five seconds. He's in it. Later.

[Griffin McElroy]

So, Marissa, what's your question?

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah, what's the question? Not a new dentist, though.

[Jocelyn]

I know. Cause I like him. We get along. But there was no goodbye after that. It was like, I gotta go see another patient. He laughed, he said he believed me when I said, please, please. I promise I didn't ask you if anyone has bit you to then bite you.

[Paul McElroy]

Were you in biting range when he was like, I believe you.

[Travis McElroy]

Were you chomping like the big ball on a chain in Mario?

[Jocelyn]

No, But I guess I want to know how to start our next appointment. To get him to start it with.

[Travis McElroy]

Have you ever been bitten twice by an adult?

[Paul McElroy]

Have you ever been bitten by an adult? Don't answer.

[Travis McElroy]

Don't answer. I know.

[Paul McElroy]

I was gonna say he won't remember, but he'll definitely remember.

[Griffin McElroy]

Definitely, definitely, definitely remember.

[Paul McElroy]

Probably thinking about it now.

[Griffin McElroy]

Does he like podcasts?

[Jocelyn]

He likes movies.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh.

[Jocelyn]

So I'd say listen to this. Know that. I'm sorry.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, sorry. We only did the one movie and I don't know that it's germane to the, to the bit, but.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, dentists, if you're listening, get out. Get out of there. You're not safe. She knew the whole time. I could see it on her face.

[Paul McElroy]

There's lots of great dentists in the area, I assume. If everybody could just shout out your dentist's name real quick. Thank you so much. Very helpful.

[Travis McElroy]

I heard Jesus in there.

[Paul McElroy]

Unpossible.

[Travis McElroy]

Does that help?

[Jocelyn]

Very much. So thank you guys so much.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you so much.

[Paul McElroy]

Marie, best of luck.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hello.

[Jesse]

Hi.

[Paul McElroy]

Hey. How's it going?

[Jesse]

Good, how are you?

[Griffin McElroy]

Good, good.

[Travis McElroy]

You having a good day?

[Jesse]

I'm having a splendid day.

[Paul McElroy]

Excellent.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wonderful.

[Travis McElroy]

Who are you?

[Jesse]

My name's Jesse.

[Travis McElroy]

Hi, Jesse.

[Griffin McElroy]

She her. Hi, Jesse.

[Jesse]

So I am ethically non monogamous.

[Paul McElroy]

Okay.

[Jesse]

And so I happen to have two boyfriends who live both within an hour of me, but in different directions. And they have the same.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, okay, Wait, so is it Two hours from each other. Are we in?

[Jesse]

I mean, estimate.

[Paul McElroy]

If math class had been about figuring out problems like that, I probably would have paid attention a little bit better. Like, got to drive to your first boyfriend's house in this direction. X amount of miles. Okay, so your question, though. What is the question?

[Jesse]

Yeah. So they both have the same birthday.

[Travis McElroy]

Is that how you pick them?

[Jesse]

Unfortunately, no. That would make my life a lot harder. So my question is, how do I celebrate both of my boyfriends who both have birthdays on the same day?

[Travis McElroy]

Well, I'll tell you, this is great, because two of us have the same birthday. So let's ask the odd one out. Griffin, how do you make Justin and I feel individually special on our shared birthday?

[Paul McElroy]

This is a very, very, very, very, very similar question, because we're kind of like, your context will be invaluable because the situation is basically indistinguist.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm ethically brothers with you guys.

[Travis McElroy]

Ethically bronogamous.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. I mean, I call you guys separately. I don't get you on one zoom. Which I think is pretty chill, which is pretty chill of me.

[Paul McElroy]

We should start comparing notes to see if he's got, like, a new bit that he's using.

[Travis McElroy]

But, like, how long did he talk to you?

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah, we should.

[Travis McElroy]

I got him for 33 seconds.

[Paul McElroy]

I almost only got just him. You brought his whole family, huh? Wow.

[Travis McElroy]

Wow.

[Griffin McElroy]

Forgive my ignorance.

[Travis McElroy]

He did it right at bedtime, so you could tell he couldn't remember until the end.

[Griffin McElroy]

Forgive my ignorance on the topic. Do your boyfriends know each other? Is it a. I don't know, a triangular situation? I know we're stuck on geometry up.

[Paul McElroy]

Here, but is it a.

[Griffin McElroy]

You couldn't throw. Could you throw a group bash at BW threes? Or is it not that kind of.

[Travis McElroy]

I think what Griffin is saying is, do your boyfriends get along better with each other than they do with you?

[Griffin McElroy]

That's not what I'm saying.

[Travis McElroy]

Even a little bit at all.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's not what I'm saying. Even a little bit at all.

[Jesse]

That would make. Again, that would make my life easier if they did. But they. They know of each other. They don't.

[Griffin McElroy]

They don't.

[Paul McElroy]

They haven't.

[Jesse]

They haven't met. Or do they know that the other one has the same?

[Griffin McElroy]

Because I was gonna say, you know, go to Chuck E. Cheese and, you know, fucking give them both 20 tokens and just, like, kick it.

[Jesse]

That's a good one.

[Travis McElroy]

Do you have any friends that have twin kids that you could be like, what do you do?

[Jesse]

Unfortunately not.

[Griffin McElroy]

My wife and youngest son's birthdays is one day apart, which is even less relevant than Justin and Travis.

[Travis McElroy]

Thanks.

[Griffin McElroy]

So I'm like. I'm bringing it up right now. That's easy, though. Because of the pretty sizable age discrepancy between the two of them. They're not really interested in the same birthday stuff.

[Travis McElroy]

You don't know. If you asked Rachel if she likes putt putt and arcades and shit.

[Griffin McElroy]

What was the second thing you said?

[Travis McElroy]

Putt, putt and arcades and shit.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, you're describing a Griffin birthday pretty good, but not a Rachel birthday.

[Travis McElroy]

Do you have. Maybe one of your boyfriends likes the daytime more and one likes the nighttime, where you could be like, oh, it's noon. I'm gonna spend 6am to noon, and noon to 6pm I could probably do that.

[Jesse]

They fall on Friday the 13th, so I feel like.

[Travis McElroy]

But not every year. Every year, Jesse, I don't wanna tell you our calendars work. Not every year.

[Jesse]

This year.

[Paul McElroy]

This year, though.

[Griffin McElroy]

Ooh, that's gonna be a really.

[Travis McElroy]

So that's the witching hour, right? Cause it's eleven to midnight. Midnight to one. You do Good. Eleven to midnight, Bad. Midnight to one. So which of your boyfriends is evil?

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Which is the most evil one?

[Paul McElroy]

Griffin uses that for me and Travis too. He has to figure that out every day.

[Travis McElroy]

And you guys know.

[Griffin McElroy]

You all know the breakdown.

[Paul McElroy]

Does that help? Jesse?

[Griffin McElroy]

It does. Is the birthday soon?

[Jesse]

It's in June.

[Paul McElroy]

Oh, so you got time.

[Travis McElroy]

And which of your boyfriends do you like better?

[Jesse]

No, that's probably.

[Travis McElroy]

They're never gonna listen.

[Paul McElroy]

Jesse, could you take a break?

[Travis McElroy]

Just to take. Is one of them here? Okay.

[Paul McElroy]

Oh, no.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, wait, never mind.

[Paul McElroy]

Never mind.

[Travis McElroy]

Just one. Just one's here. But.

[Paul McElroy]

Well, I know which one should get a better person.

[Travis McElroy]

Absolutely.

[Paul McElroy]

I know which one's better.

[Travis McElroy]

This is easy.

[Griffin McElroy]

The other one's not gonna hear it.

[Travis McElroy]

Jesse.

[Jocelyn]

It's easy.

[Paul McElroy]

To be fair, I'm assuming they're a listener who just couldn't make it.

[Travis McElroy]

Griffin, is Jesse's other boyfriend, like, down here somewhere? Like, oh, man, I didn't know you liked this podcast. And also I have other questions.

[Griffin McElroy]

That is the fifth drink you've spilled tonight.

[Paul McElroy]

Jesse. What do you want? What do you want?

[Griffin McElroy]

This is a full Jeff towel.

[Travis McElroy]

Let's hear for Jesse. Jesse. Thank you so much.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hello.

[Paul McElroy]

Hello.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hi.

[Justin McElroy]

Hi, I'm Eva, and I sent in the question about my bank band.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes, please.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, so I have a band here locally and we Have a show. Hi.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you want to save some other local people? Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

It's called the Kyle's. We've only been around for like a year, so you might not have heard of us.

[Paul McElroy]

What's it called?

[Griffin McElroy]

The Kyle.

[Justin McElroy]

The Kyles.

[Paul McElroy]

The Kyle.

[Griffin McElroy]

Very good name.

[Justin McElroy]

We do have a band member named Kyle.

[Griffin McElroy]

Perfect.

[Justin McElroy]

He did not like that name.

[Paul McElroy]

But can you change it to Kyle? Stop.

[Travis McElroy]

That's not what the question was. But now I'm in it. You have one band name or name Kyle?

[Justin McElroy]

I do. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

You name the band.

[Travis McElroy]

Did not like the name the Kyle.

[Paul McElroy]

He did it.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's a shame. Because it's a fucking good name for a band.

[Justin McElroy]

No, that's why.

[Travis McElroy]

So how did it come about now? Independent of that.

[Justin McElroy]

So basically, we had our first show at my house. We did a house show.

[Travis McElroy]

And I was like, was the booking hard, Travis?

[Justin McElroy]

Really? It was so difficult. No.

[Griffin McElroy]

So we.

[Justin McElroy]

I created a little box. We were having a really hard time coming up with a name.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

So I made a little box out of paper and just had everybody that came to the house show, like, put suggestions in there.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And some of Kyle's friends decided to write Kyle, Kyle and the Kyle's. The Kyle. Like, on a bunch of sheets of paper and just shove it all in the box.

[Griffin McElroy]

Kylo Kiley. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And it was just, you know, we struggled for a while, and after a while we were like, actually, that's a really good Band aid.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sure. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

So you know what? We're just gonna take their suggestions. So that's how the Band Aid came out.

[Paul McElroy]

So how can we help?

[Justin McElroy]

But we have a show on 4 20. Nice. Which is also Easter this year. What?

[Paul McElroy]

Easter?

[Griffin McElroy]

Or as you put it in your email, Jesus's big day.

[Travis McElroy]

Which is awesome.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah. Thanks for reminding us.

[Travis McElroy]

The Easter thing I did.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

I love Eva. That in your mind, Easter is Jesus's spin.

[Travis McElroy]

That dude was so fucking psyched.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm sorry.

[Griffin McElroy]

He said, is it Easter already?

[Paul McElroy]

Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. If I had done something even half that cool, I'd be celebrating every year. You better believe that.

[Travis McElroy]

I remember.

[Paul McElroy]

This reminds me of another similar Easter where I died for you.

[Travis McElroy]

But every year, the people in Punxsutawney get together around Jesus grave to wait for him to come back and tell him if there's six more years of.

[Griffin McElroy]

Salvation, you have a show on Jesus.

[Travis McElroy]

Big day.

[Griffin McElroy]

Which is fortunate.

[Travis McElroy]

I do.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes. And the place where we're doing the show, the camel has asked us, has asked us to send them a promotional video or music video. Or something so that they can, like, promote the show.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

And we're very new, so we don't have a lot of promotional content. So we were in our group chat trying to figure out what to do, and I was wondering if you guys had any advice on what we should do as a promotional video for the show.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay. So right off the bat, did they say it needs to be you playing music? Because that's impossible. Important to all my ideas.

[Justin McElroy]

They suggested that, but they didn't say that it was really.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, so let me give you this starter phrase that I use in a lot of videos that I do. Oh, hello. Didn't see you come in there. And then you can and have it be Kyle going like these Kyle's.

[Griffin McElroy]

How is Kyle as a sort of like, face?

[Justin McElroy]

It's good.

[Travis McElroy]

Good.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. I think we're all pretty.

[Travis McElroy]

We're the Kyles and I'm Kyle. No relation is a powerful story.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Kyle and I don't like that the band is called the Kyle's.

[Paul McElroy]

Okay. Well.

[Justin McElroy]

Aggressive.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay. Okay.

[Paul McElroy]

This is pretty good. Do you have your phone on you?

[Griffin McElroy]

No.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, okay.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, look.

[Paul McElroy]

Oh, dang it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Shit.

[Paul McElroy]

Do you have anyone here who can film my sister? Okay, sister, can you. Would you mind starting a video? Okay. This is going to be really good.

[Justin McElroy]

Filming this whole time.

[Travis McElroy]

All right.

[Paul McElroy]

You've been filming the whole time.

[Travis McElroy]

This is perfect.

[Paul McElroy]

Okay, so the video will start here. So what I need you to do is be like, hey, brothers, I'm trying to find a new local band to get into. And then we're going to be like, I don't know, we're not from the area. What do you all think? And then everybody says the Kyle's.

[Travis McElroy]

And then include all of this, by the way. Yeah.

[Paul McElroy]

No, no, no.

[Griffin McElroy]

You got to cut this.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, shit. Okay, sorry. I'm in credit.

[Paul McElroy]

Okay. And they won't know who we are.

[Griffin McElroy]

But then. And then when the people at the venue are like.

[Travis McElroy]

So maybe we should start with. I'm looking for a podcast to get into. And then everybody else. My brother, my brother. Okay, so.

[Griffin McElroy]

So we're going to explain who we are first and why it matters.

[Paul McElroy]

Do you want to use for the video? Because you can't try Eva.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, the band name.

[Griffin McElroy]

You can't say you're the band.

[Travis McElroy]

So say Steve.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, I can't say Eva. So I'll say Steva.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, it doesn't have to be Steve is nothing.

[Justin McElroy]

I could say Steve instead.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's great.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

So everyone shut.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, say Steve O. Because that has Star power, too.

[Griffin McElroy]

Don't say Steve.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, Steve.

[Paul McElroy]

So the video will start here. Welcome back to My brother, my brother and me. America's favorite podcast.

[Griffin McElroy]

We're famous in. You should care about what we say.

[Travis McElroy]

Bigger and more influential than Joe Rogan.

[Paul McElroy]

We got a big stop.

[Travis McElroy]

Sorry.

[Paul McElroy]

Stop the video scan. Be in it. That can't be in it.

[Travis McElroy]

Sorry, I missed. I misread the not in it. That's not Eva.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sister started over.

[Travis McElroy]

I panic.

[Paul McElroy]

I panicked.

[Travis McElroy]

Start it.

[Paul McElroy]

Start it again. Start it again. Welcome back to the Joe Rogan podcast, Eva. Sorry, I was just trying to get to Travis's good idea. Idea faster. Okay. Welcome back to My brother, my brother and me. This week we're joined by. What was your name again?

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, my name is Steve.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, Steve.

[Paul McElroy]

How can we help?

[Justin McElroy]

Guy brothers? I have been looking for a new local band to get into. Do you have any suggestions?

[Paul McElroy]

Hey, everybody. What's your favorite local band? Excellent. Thank you.

[Travis McElroy]

There you go.

[Paul McElroy]

Yeah, right there. Perfect.

[Travis McElroy]

What's your second favorite little.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, no, no, don't.

[Paul McElroy]

That doesn't mess up the whole video. Paul.

[Griffin McElroy]

Paul can find anything. Does that help?

[Paul McElroy]

Does that help? All right, so, Machiv. I can't believe we actually helped that felt. Is this what it feels like?

[Travis McElroy]

I have two children and that's the greatest thing I've ever done.

[Paul McElroy]

Wow.

[Travis McElroy]

I think that's it. If we.

[Paul McElroy]

Can we turn the lights off, would that be a possibility? Make them go away. Thank you so much, Richard.

[Griffin McElroy]

You all have been absolutely.

[Paul McElroy]

What a treat this has been.

[Travis McElroy]

I want to hear it.

[Paul McElroy]

What a pleasure.

[Travis McElroy]

Let's get a big shout out for this beautiful theater. Carpenter.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's gorgeous. The clouds are indoor clouds. It feels like we're performing outside.

[Travis McElroy]

And not only is it a beautiful old theater, we can also call it the Dominion Energy center, which feels like a thing you build in like, Warcraft 2099 or something.

[Paul McElroy]

He's ruled over the energy dominion for many years now.

[Griffin McElroy]

I want to say thank you to Anna Road, who designed our kick ass poster. There may still be some out there.

[Paul McElroy]

Griffin, this is pq. I adore it so much.

[Griffin McElroy]

I know. I love it. I signed some of them and it's great because it looks like I'm magically casting my signature out into the galaxy.

[Travis McElroy]

It also looks like you've just realized you're in the vacuum of space and about to explode.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes. We also have some honorary Pulsaboard Memorial canned food drive challenge coins. All proceeds from that go to Feed More. Thank you all so much. Thanks to Montaigne. For the use of our theme song My Life is Better with youh a kick ass track. Thanks to our dad. Thanks to Paul, thank you to Amanda, thank you to our editor Rachel. Thank you to McKay, our merchant.

[Paul McElroy]

This design right there did this kick.

[Griffin McElroy]

Ass 20 thunder drive design. And thank you all, Richmond, genuinely. You all are amazing and we're so happy to be back here and we'll be back again.

[Travis McElroy]

And hey Griffin did not have to run off stage to use the bathroom once during the show.

[Paul McElroy]

Big round of applause.

[Travis McElroy]

That's a champion right there.

[Paul McElroy]

Hey, as long as we're cheering, I didn't either.

[Travis McElroy]

I didn't run off stage to go to the bathroom.

[Paul McElroy]

Hey Griffin, as a special treat, you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wanna read the last the fear that someone in the audience is gonna be faster than this year. This year I will be faster than my fear of getting lost and freezing on Mount Everest. Because it's really far away from me and I don't even wanna go there anyway.

[Paul McElroy]

My name is Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm Travis McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Griffin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

My brother.

[Paul McElroy]

My brother. Me. Kiss your dad square on the lips. My life.

[Justin McElroy]

It'S better, it's better with.

[Paul McElroy]

You My life.

[Justin McElroy]

It'S better it's better with you Is it true? It's better it's better with you My.

[Paul McElroy]

Life Maximum Fun A worker owned network.

[Griffin McElroy]

Of artist owned shows supported directly by.