MBMBaM 759: Face 2 Face: Mommy’s Special Sweets For Good Business Boys

Summary

Podcast Summary: MBMBaM 759: Face 2 Face: Mommy’s Special Sweets For Good Business Boys

Episode Information:

• Title: MBMBaM 759: Face 2 Face: Mommy’s Special Sweets For Good Business Boys
• Host/Author: The McElroys (Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy)
• Release Date: April 21, 2025
• Description: Free advice from three of the world's most qualified, most related experts: Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy. For one-half to three-quarters of an hour every Monday, they offer humorous and unconventional guidance on various life topics.

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Introduction and Opening Banter

The episode kicks off with Justin McElroy sharing an unpublished personal story about moving to West Virginia in February 1980, during a massive snowstorm that led to the conception of Justin Tyler McElroy. He humorously downplays the expertise of the McElroy brothers while setting a playful tone for the show.

• Justin (00:00): "The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed."

Travis and Griffin add to the light-heartedness with playful greetings to the audience, especially addressing "cool babies."

Corn Dog Etiquette Debate

The first major segment revolves around the unconventional ways of eating corn dogs. Griffin shares his method of removing the stick to avoid the woody flavor, prompting a humorous debate among the brothers about the etiquette and practicality of such practices.

• Griffin (09:30): "I always take the stick out and eat that side of the corn dog first, leaving the best for last."

Travis counters with observations on social settings and the awkwardness of deviating from the norm, while Justin mocks the idea of labeling and overcomplicating a simple snack.

• Justin (13:23): "If you see someone remove the stick from the corn dog and then eat the ass, it makes sense to me."

The discussion highlights the brothers' trademark blend of absurdity and wit, engaging listeners with relatable yet exaggerated scenarios.

Audience Questions and Advisory

The brothers address listener questions, beginning with a humorous take on corn dog consumption in various settings, such as conventions and fancy restaurants. They offer tongue-in-cheek advice, blending genuine suggestions with their signature humor.

• Travis (09:27): "What's the first question, Trav."

They then move on to more personal and quirky queries, maintaining their comedic flair while providing mock-serious advice.

Griffin's Advertisement Break: Rocket Money

A notable moment occurs when Griffin's birthday intersects with an ad segment for Rocket Money, a personal finance app. The brothers humorously dissect the sponsorship, blending it seamlessly into the conversation.

• Travis (29:23): "Rocket Money can find subscriptions you forgot about or something that you paid twice and didn't realize it."

Justin sarcastically laments the intrusion of ads, maintaining the show's comedic integrity while fulfilling sponsorship obligations.

Live Q&A: Munch Squad Segment

The episode transitions into a live Q&A format through their "Munch Squad" segment, where listeners Maggie, Bryce, and William pose questions ranging from ukulele parts to wine tasting etiquette.

Maggie's Ukulele Quandary

Maggie, a ukulele teacher, asks about educating children on the instrument's parts without making it awkward. The brothers respond with exaggerated confusion and mock frustration, highlighting the humorous disconnect between teaching and their comedic personas.

• Maggie (50:21): "I teach second through fifth grade, so how do I explain the nut without making it weird?"

• Griffin (51:25): "Do you have a mnemonic device to help my brother and any other people here in the audience on how to spell ukulele?"

Bryce's Skateboarding Challenge

Bryce seeks advice on learning to perform a kickflip in four days. The brothers respond with hilariously impractical solutions involving imaginary encounters with Tony Hawk and surreal scenarios.

• Bryce (61:11): "How can I learn how to do a kick flip in four days?"
• Griffin (65:44): "Which is it, Bryce?"
• Justin (65:05): "I just know you're trying to get it in four days or else."

William's Batman Book Dilemma

William shares his discomfort about retrieving Batman books from the children's section of his library. The McElroys humorously debate library etiquette and the classification of graphic novels, intertwining absurd suggestions with genuine-sounding advice.

• William (66:30): "Do I feel like not being a creep walking through the kids section?"
• Travis (67:10): "Are you looking at, like, maybe, like, dissections of Batman as a character?"

Munch Squad Finale and Closing Remarks

As the live segment concludes, the brothers wrap up with entertaining yet nonsensical promotions for their own merchandise and upcoming live shows. They maintain their playful interaction, ensuring listeners leave with a smile.

• Justin (71:25): "Have you ever tried? Hey, I'm trying to get drunk."
• Travis (71:26): "Yes, that would probably work on me."

The episode ends with a signature blend of humor, gratitude towards the audience, and a final playful nod to their unique podcast dynamics.

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Key Takeaways and Highlights

• Humorous Advice: The McElroys excel in providing light-hearted, often absurd advice that entertains while parodying traditional advice shows.

• Engaging Audience Interaction: Live Q&A segments with listeners Maggie, Bryce, and William showcase the brothers' ability to improvise and maintain comedic energy.

• Seamless Sponsorship Integration: The Rocket Money ad segment is handled with comedic skepticism, ensuring it blends naturally without disrupting the show's flow.

• Signature Humor Style: From corn dog etiquette to surreal skateboard training plans, the episode embodies the brothers' trademark humor—irreverent, witty, and delightfully unpredictable.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Justin (00:00): "The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed."

• Griffin (09:30): "I always take the stick out and eat that side of the corn dog first, leaving the best for last."

• Travis (29:23): "Rocket Money can find subscriptions you forgot about or something that you paid twice and didn't realize it."

• Maggie (50:21): "I teach second through fifth grade, so how do I explain the nut without making it weird?"

• Griffin (65:44): "Which is it, Bryce?"

• William (66:30): "Do I feel like not being a creep walking through the kids section?"

---

This episode of "My Brother, My Brother and Me" continues to deliver the McElroys' unique blend of humor, absurdity, and playful interaction, ensuring listeners are both entertained and engaged throughout the half-hour.

Transcript

[Travis McElroy]

March.

[Justin McElroy]

No, February. February 1980. I'm a young broadcaster living in Florida. I move with my young bride back to West Virginia to take up a news director's job at WKE Radio. We are owned by Capital Broadcasting which has its headquarters in Raleigh, North Carolina. So I come here in February of 1980 for training. I bring my young bride because I don't want to go anywhere without her and we begin the whole process. I am here one day and the third worst snowstorm in the history of Raleigh. And I gotta tell you something, 1980, you guys were not prepared for a snowstorm so we were snowed in. We had to stay an extra three days in Raleigh and couldn't go anywhere because the streets weren't clear. So we spent a nice romantic time, just me and my wonderful wife Leslie, watching TV, getting takeout food while the snow blew around. And nine months later to the day, Justin Tyler McElroy was born. And they have never heard this story before. Is it true? Well, all I can say is the McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Oh, Travis insists he's a sexpert but there's a degree on his wall. I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there know how cool they are for listening.

[Travis McElroy]

What's up you cool babies?

[Griffin McElroy]

1, 2, 3.

[Theme Music]

It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's ripened into a precious friendship.

[Theme Music]

I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park. Hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like a. It's better, it's better with you My life, it's better it's better with you. This is true. It's better, it's better with you My life.

[Justin McElroy]

Hello. Welcome to My Brother, My Brother and main advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

What's up Trav nation? I'm your middles brother Travis. Vroom Vroom McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

And I'm your sweet baby brother. 30 under 30 media luminary built for tough Griffin McElroy. And I just heard a story about a time my dad nutted.

[Justin McElroy]

Not a lot of hype men in the biz have the guts to come to a town and razz it for not being ready for the natural disaster 45 years ago and then talk about some nut related activity. He's experiencing your city.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey. Okay, so. So it's also weird to kind of give you guys credit for that.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, Raleigh. I adore this city with my whole heart. I think my dad probably could have finished no matter which city. He got snowed in. I don't think there was anything about your city.

[Justin McElroy]

I would do anything to quit this podcast right now. Like, literally any.

[Travis McElroy]

Anything.

[Griffin McElroy]

You all have a lot going for you. I don't know that any of it was germane to the activity that transpired.

[Travis McElroy]

Because I don't know if cities have slogans, but Virginia's got. Virginia's for lovers. What about. What about Raleigh is for nothing?

[Justin McElroy]

I. And it's a picture of me, right? Cause it's about my conception.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I know that you're hearing it in the abstract, but I'm a human being, right? And that's a story of my conception being told to you, the people that paid to see me do jokes. But it's like, I didn't know that was gonna be part of it, and it is.

[Griffin McElroy]

This shirt would read, I busted in Raleigh, and all I got was this Justin McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

Now, I think the shirt would probably say, if you're busting for a Justin, get down to Raleigh run, don't walk to Raleigh, or something like that. Do you. Do you guys think that's why I've been so, like, on point today? Like, I've been so cool?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes. Like, since the.

[Travis McElroy]

That is true. I want to tell my Justin bobbing out in Raleigh story.

[Justin McElroy]

So wait, tell the dad half.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, so as I.

[Griffin McElroy]

So dad busted one time 40 years ago.

[Travis McElroy]

Then 45 years later, as I'm getting on the elevator from our hotel floor, dad is getting back off the elevator, having come back upstairs. He says, I forgot my phone. I'll be there in a minute. I said, okay. And it is important to note so that you don't judge me harder than you need to. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

You do not come out of this story looking great, man.

[Travis McElroy]

Listen, I am what I am. I'm sitting there holding this beautiful outfit and a bag full of stuff and a backpack on. Even in the air conditioning of the hotel, I am wilted. So I'm like, okay, cool. I get down to the lobby, I think, did he mean down in the lobby or did he mean be at the theater? It's a five minute walk away. And I thought, well, I don't want to be late. So I started walking. Shut up. So then.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, don't shut up.

[Justin McElroy]

Don't.

[Griffin McElroy]

That was right.

[Travis McElroy]

That was fair.

[Justin McElroy]

You bought your seat, you make whatever noises you want in it.

[Travis McElroy]

So then two minutes later, I hear a noise behind Me, I turn and see our dad, who has a suitcase, and. And the suitcase is falling down. He's about, maybe 50 yards behind me. I went, oh, good, dad made it. It's hot. Fuck that. And I kept walking.

[Justin McElroy]

It's. By the way, it's 10 minutes. And Travis then proceeds to walk 10 minutes with, like, Dad a block behind him. And with dad regularly, like, hey, wait up. Or like, no, he didn't call out, Trav.

[Travis McElroy]

He did not call out.

[Justin McElroy]

Did you know he was there the whole time, though?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

He said he was too winded to.

[Travis McElroy]

I was pretending like I was being tailed by the least intimidating, like, government official. I loved it. But it also was. I was listening to music. I didn't want to take my AirPods out and have to talk to my dad, so.

[Griffin McElroy]

Shit, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Heavy. Heavy.

[Travis McElroy]

Listen. Sometimes I fully embrace. Sometimes I fully embrace all this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like. Yeah. I know it's not right.

[Griffin McElroy]

Gotta love me and it's so cool for the rest of us when you do that, too, is the best part.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, that's how you know it's optional. When I'm kind and loving.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

So then I get to the theater, and I'm maybe 10ft away from the stage door, when a shape just zooms past me. So cool, so graceful. Does a full, like, slide stomp on his line scooter, and says, hey, what's up, Trav? And it's my older brother, the leader of the pack.

[Justin McElroy]

I zipped right past Dad's old ass, right past Travis, right to the stage door. I was the first here, except for Griffin.

[Travis McElroy]

And then he parked, and I said, God, that was so cool. And he said, now I have to walk it back out to the sidewalk.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, they don't want you to leave it at the stage door, so it's, like, out. P.S. if you see a lime scooter near the stage door, please don't take it. That is going to be my egress home.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And if you want to leave some other scooters there, that's great just to give me options because it was a bit of a bumpy ride, but thanks. Just don't take my scooter. Thanks. It's kind of mine. Not a big deal.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're really deeply undressing right this moment.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. Is that okay? May I?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, please go on.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you. This is an advice show. We take your questions and we turn them alchemy, like, into wisdom. We're so happy to be here with you. Raleigh.

[Travis McElroy]

Back in Raleigh.

[Justin McElroy]

What's the first question, Trav. For some reason, it's just not showing up in my.

[Griffin McElroy]

The way I eat corn dogs is unusual.

[Justin McElroy]

How so, Griff, speak on that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, I. Hold on. I don't like the hint of wood flavor the stick leaves behind, so I always take the stick out and eat that side of the corn dog first, leaving the best for last. The top of the corn dog. If I do this in a crowd or around friends, would someone call me out over this? How can I explain myself? Besides the stick parts not as good, so I eat them backwards. That's from customary corn dog custom in Tennessee. Are you here?

[Justin McElroy]

All right, so this is how I do it. No, I'm saying that's. I think that's great. That's how I do it. I don't like the wood flavor in the corn dog, so I take the stick all the way out and I eat the ass.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can I just. If you don't like the wood flavor of the stick and the corn dog, may I suggest you turn your attention to a stickless hot dog option? There's so many vehicles there for you.

[Travis McElroy]

I'll split the uprights here. Because, Griffin, a hot dog is different from a corn dog, and you know that.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're right. I just wanted to seem funny and cool in front of all these guys.

[Travis McElroy]

I know. And, Justin, if you remove the serving conveyance from the corn dog, you've removed all the convenience from the experience.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, see, this is where I disagree, because you're going to need to tell me how a corn dog is not just an edible bun.

[Travis McElroy]

Because it's. If I held a hot dog by.

[Justin McElroy]

The bun, everyone would think that's great and love me. Okay. But if it's encasing it with corn, that's a crime. Seems suspect to me, because in theory.

[Travis McElroy]

It'S the thing that makes the corn dog special.

[Justin McElroy]

Are you eating. Or are you doing a theory about corn dogs? Are you eating them? Are you writing a treatise on their philosophical impact? Or are you taking the stick out the ass because it tastes like wood? You know?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, this is a good point. It's the year 2025. We've had so many culinary innovations. How have we not made the wood? A seasoned. Like this is going to add a smoky flavor.

[Justin McElroy]

Edible.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

Something that's going to bring a little something to the experience.

[Griffin McElroy]

You may be thinking, what are you going to put in there? Chemicals? Microplastics? It's a fucking corn dog.

[Justin McElroy]

You're not that cool. You're not proud. You put anything in there.

[Griffin McElroy]

I love the. If I see someone.

[Travis McElroy]

If I see like a rosemary scented stick or. So I'm saying, add some Travis, you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can pitch your artisanal corn dog brand to the Sharks later. If I see someone that stays in.

[Travis McElroy]

This room, if I see any of you trying to steal that, I'll know.

[Justin McElroy]

We've gotta have a backup plan. Guys, please. Fuck.

[Griffin McElroy]

If I see someone eating a corn dog, something has gone wrong. First and first and foremost, I can't think of a scenario where I'm gonna just see someone eating a corn dog. Second of all, if I see someone.

[Travis McElroy]

What?

[Justin McElroy]

What?

[Griffin McElroy]

Where am I?

[Justin McElroy]

You said it. Now stand behind me.

[Travis McElroy]

We routinely go to conventions.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm not seeing a lot of corn dog action at conventions.

[Travis McElroy]

Trash. I think, Griffin, I don't see the.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cast of fucking Arrow in the green room. Like, yummy, yummy.

[Travis McElroy]

Man, what an elitist point of view, Griffin, that now your only experience of a con is the cast of Arrow.

[Griffin McElroy]

When you're on our side looking out, you fuck with the cast of Arrow and they don't eat corn dogs. If I see you eating a corn dog, that's a problem. If I see you rip the stick out of the corn dog, I don't care which side of the corn dog you eat next. What you just did is barbaric and insane.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, here's. Okay, listen. Now, here's. Think about this for a second. If you see corn dog, right? And someone has a corn dog.

[Travis McElroy]

Let me picture it.

[Justin McElroy]

A picture of corn dog.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, where am I that I'm seeing someone with a corn dog?

[Travis McElroy]

I'm at the state fair.

[Justin McElroy]

You're at the state fair. You're at the pumpkin festival.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

You're at the West Virginia Pumpkin Festival. You're eating some pumpkin dumplings. I'm like, let's go get a corn dog.

[Travis McElroy]

Do I have like a pumpkin butter that I'm dipping the corn dog into? Cause that would be amazing.

[Justin McElroy]

No, it's not pumpkin butter or corn dog. It's just like, separate. So.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, fuck. Let me reset.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, okay, okay. So you take the stick out the ass, right? If you see someone doing.

[Travis McElroy]

The. Corn dogs are my own.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. So if you. If you see someone take the stick out of the corn dog and then eat the head of the corn dog. Or the tip, as you might say. If you combo grow up. If you see someone take. Bite the tip, you're the thing you think is you could have done that with the stick in it.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's so far from the wood flavor. Yeah, exactly.

[Justin McElroy]

But if Someone. I'm saying if you see someone remove a stick in your head, you should think, he better be about to eat the ass, because otherwise I don't know why he did it. And then if they take the stick out and they eat the ass, it's like, yeah, you want to start with the ass, but you can't because of the stick. It makes sense to me.

[Travis McElroy]

There is also, though, the element, Justin, that if I see someone remove the stick and then start at the tip, my thought process is, oh, they must, like me, have no concept of where the stick begins within the corn dog. And they're worried.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm saying. I'm saying if you remove the stick from the corn dog and then bite the tip, you're just like angling for quirk. It's manic pixie bullshit, man.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, but just eat it.

[Justin McElroy]

You know what I mean? You don't have to have a thing. You don't need a gimmick. I just eat it from the ass. Cause it's better that way.

[Griffin McElroy]

Eat it from the ass because it's better that way.

[Travis McElroy]

I also, just to put a bow on it. Can't imagine you're in a corn dog eating situation in which someone around you is going to clock your etiquette and think why that's not appropriate for this venue.

[Justin McElroy]

Think you guys, your guys is strident. Opinions that rise instantly to the surface about corn dog consumption beg to say otherwise. I think you guys would have lots of judgment for corn dog.

[Travis McElroy]

No, no, no. I'm saying that rarely is a corn dog what someone's ordering at, like, Tavern on the Green, which I imagine is a fancy restaurant restaurant. And then someone would eat it, pull out the stick, and they'd be like, how gauche.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that's true.

[Justin McElroy]

How about another question?

[Travis McElroy]

I'd love that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Please.

[Justin McElroy]

I went to a coffee shop to work on a project for work. Okay. I ordered a latte and almond croissant and then got sucked into my spreadsheets, Google Docs, et cetera. This led me to not eat my croissant for a few hours. The next time I went into the coffee shop, the barista asked if I bribed myself with a sweet treat to get my work done because they noticed how long it took me to eat the croissant. Last time, I panicked and said yes, Even though that's not true. She said it. She did the same thing, and we became friendly. Now whenever I see her, I feel like I have to order a pastry and wait until I'm nearly ready to leave to Eat it. How do I escape this polite pastry problem? And this is from really Ravenous and Raleigh. Are you here?

[Griffin McElroy]

Hello. It's quite a situation. Quite a pickle you got yourself into, huh? This is what happens when you lie, gang. I know.

[Travis McElroy]

You've also created, like, an accidental accountability partner.

[Justin McElroy]

In my head. At some point I realized I started assembling a list of things it's okay to notice about other people, specifically myself. And I've noticed as I age, that list becomes vanishingly small.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, sure.

[Justin McElroy]

I want people to notice almost none of my actions.

[Griffin McElroy]

If someone walks up to me and says, I noticed you eating a corn dog, pulled the stick out and then ate the ass first, I would say that's like too. Too many things to notice.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah. Way too close attention.

[Griffin McElroy]

But I suppose if it is at a business where you work and kind of can't leave, you're looking for any kind of plot lines you could follow just to help get through the day.

[Travis McElroy]

I think that this could be an amazing business model though, because a lot of people go to the coffee shops to get their work done. So what if it was a coffee shop that explicitly said, like, oh, do you like this brownie? Excellent. Yeah, that'll be like 350 or whatever.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

And we will deliver this brownie to us, to you, when you show us that your work is complete.

[Griffin McElroy]

So it's Mommy's special sweets for this.

[Justin McElroy]

Mommy's special sweets.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, listen, man, with adhd, I would love having an adult tell me, like, yeah, you can have this when your work is done. Yeah, that's all I need.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, When I do that, he gets all mad at me.

[Travis McElroy]

It's like, yeah, but that's all for show. I love it.

[Griffin McElroy]

I actually, I have an 1115 face to face meeting down at Mommy's Special Suites for Good Business Boys. Yes, it is the cafe where they don't give you the sweets until you've been a good boy and done all of your business.

[Travis McElroy]

And like, if maybe if they clock you like not scrolling on your phone for a while, they come by and say like, hey, I noticed you're doing a great job.

[Griffin McElroy]

Doing well, doing so well.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm proud of you.

[Justin McElroy]

I want to say that I think this person who works at a sweet treat store who is motivating themselves by denying themselves sweet treats, should talk to somebody that cares about them because I think they need to find another way of doing it. Okay, that's true.

[Travis McElroy]

They have to make sweet treats. And until they finish the sweet treats, they cannot eat a Sweet treat.

[Justin McElroy]

It's like. And that makes it really hard. Like when I worked at Blockbuster and I was stock candy by the end of the two hours, I think if I don't eat a banana runt soon, I'm gonna go fucking insane, right? These things smell amazing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Banana runts smell amazing.

[Travis McElroy]

They are a thing, which will always be the thing that when something smells like them, I will say, this smells like banana runs.

[Justin McElroy]

Right?

[Travis McElroy]

Everything that smells like that isn't that smell. It smells like banana runs. That's how incredible they are.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can you go and say one, you lied. There's no situation out of this where you're not like, I lied. I got nervous. I don't know you. I had to talk to you, so I lied. Thanks, man. This thing's really fucking shedding. Can you believe the quality of this fucking lightning McQueen onesie that I found online isn't for big boys? You're gonna have to go. You say you lied and you say it's not because I have to finish my work. I just like it when the croissant gets really old. I like an aged, crojant hard puck, like stale. I can't have it be too good too fast.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't deserve it.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't deserve it. I haven't finished my business yet.

[Travis McElroy]

Do you guys ever have a moment where you go to, like, a coffee shop or bistro and you order like a sandwich or something and they ask if you want it heated up.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And you don't and you feel like you've disappointed them? Like, I was supposed to get it heated up. It was a trick question. The answer is, yes, of course. That's how the chef recommends it or whatever.

[Griffin McElroy]

Some sort of guidance would be so amazing.

[Justin McElroy]

Do you know where they fucking hate that is? Subway. If you're like, I want it toasted, but please do that before you put the meat on, man. They hate that. And I feel like that should be the baseline.

[Travis McElroy]

Right?

[Justin McElroy]

No one wants hot meat, Right? We want a hot bread and cold meat. Right?

[Griffin McElroy]

Hot bread, cold meat.

[Justin McElroy]

Hot bread, cold meat. Treat you right.

[Travis McElroy]

Cool nights.

[Justin McElroy]

Cool nights. Hot love, temperate religion.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm going to be thinking about that for the rest of the show. Like, we're going to talk saying, they're.

[Justin McElroy]

Like, do you want it toasted? Yes. You have to then specify, not at the end. I want it to happen now. Don't say another word about sandwiches until the bread's in the toaster and then we can talk.

[Travis McElroy]

That is a human being. That from the moment they start the process to the moment they put it in the toaster, if that's what you want. Has trained themselves to zone out completely. And you interrupted that with a new step. And they're like, I have to think. During this process, you.

[Justin McElroy]

The one that was most confusing is when after the toasting, they were like, do you want cheese? And I'm like, I already cooked it. I'm gonna start putting raw ingredients onto my sandwich. It is way too late for raw cheese.

[Travis McElroy]

I want my cheese melted. My bread hot. My meat cold. My lettuce timber average absent. My lettuce next door.

[Justin McElroy]

My lettuce in absentia. My spinach. Four leaves, if you please.

[Griffin McElroy]

I can't eat a sandwich that isn't confusing to the palate. Can you just say, I'd like the chocolate croissant. You go and sit down, and 30 seconds later you go, yes, I got the big.

[Justin McElroy]

The big sale Breakthrough alert. Can you come in like you've been on an all night working bender? Like, I haven't even slept. I'm almost done with the big.

[Griffin McElroy]

You have to trust me. I've been a good boy already.

[Travis McElroy]

And then you say, like, I think that'd be it. And they're like, do you want a sweet treat? And you're like, wait, say that again. Sweet treat. Of course I cracked it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Eureka.

[Travis McElroy]

We both deserve one.

[Griffin McElroy]

How about another question? Maybe.

[Justin McElroy]

Joe. I've recently dug a vegetable garden in my backyard, and one of my neighbors had advised me to, rather than buy mulch, take bags of yard waste from the side of the road and use that instead. My question is, how do I do that without looking like some kind of trash stealing goblin? And what if I'm seen doing it? That's from not a trash goblin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are you here? Hello?

[Travis McElroy]

Hello?

[Justin McElroy]

Yes, I am.

[Griffin McElroy]

Crunch months. Crunch months.

[Travis McElroy]

Is it possible your neighbor hates the smell of mulch? Cause it smells terrible. And they're like, oh, you know what I've heard? You know what I saw on TikTok?

[Griffin McElroy]

They don't really tell. They don't warn you about this when you're a parent, but they will remulch your school, your kid's school's playground, several times a year. And you will have to answer the question several times a year of why does it stink like shit everywhere? And it's like, well, they put that down to keep you safe, I guess. Why does it have to smell like shit? I don't know. My son, I got.

[Justin McElroy]

I was in a similar situation because there's these guys that are digging a gas pipeline near my House. And they got. They put down grass seed and then they put hay on top of it. Right. To protect it. And I need to put some grass seed up in a small area of my home, but I don't have any hay. So as I was driving past the guys, I started thinking like they were done, and I saw two bales and I thought, I'm just gonna ask these guys for some of the hay.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's no way on earth. You actually did that though, right?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

You didn't ask someone, give me the hay. You didn't start a conversation with a stranger to say, let me get that. Let me get that plant for free. That's not you. There's no way.

[Justin McElroy]

I thought it would be maybe saving them a hassle.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Like if maybe, like hay disposal is one of the more annoying parts of the job.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Maybe I could be of assistance there. And maybe they just want to do a solid turn for a friend.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And just give me the hay. Because I don't know where to get hay is the other thing. Right. So it's not just about the hay. It's about all the time it's going to take to figure out my whole. Hey, deal.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

So I go up to the guy with full intent. I'm about to ask this man for his hay. And then as I got there, my brain started second guessing it. And along the pipeline, the question became, where did you get your hay? So I said to the man, where'd you get hay?

[Griffin McElroy]

Awesome. Yeah, man. That rules, man. No one, no one who needs to know that information must ask that information. If you need. If you need hay, you know where it is.

[Justin McElroy]

But I do need hay, and I don't know where it is. I don't.

[Travis McElroy]

And I didn't.

[Justin McElroy]

He was there already, and I was already talking to him because I was about to bum hay off of him. Right. So it seemed like we had already had a rapport in my head. So I just asked him whereby.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, there is like, I would say 1 in 1,000 chance that you would have done that. And the other worker had been like, oh, my God, don't get him started. And then he's gonna be like, you want the best hay? And he's gonna launch into a full explanation for you. And that would be worse for you.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. I realized, I realized at some point that I must have only said hey, because he just said hey. And then I just kept driving.

[Griffin McElroy]

Awesome. Oh, you were in your automobile.

[Justin McElroy]

I was in my. Well, I'm gonna walk down. I'm gonna Walk away from that. No way, man. Remember the black bear? Same thing. I'm not gonna leave the vehicle if I need to make a quick escape.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I like the bear encounter and.

[Justin McElroy]

Just hay, by the way. Catch me after if you got hay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Catch him outside with the hay after the show.

[Travis McElroy]

Bear, a counter and talking with another human being are of equal danger to Justin McElroy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm getting. How expensive is a secondhand garbage truck that you could drive down?

[Griffin McElroy]

Wow, that escalated.

[Travis McElroy]

Get out in your overalls.

[Griffin McElroy]

That escalated so fast.

[Travis McElroy]

Travis, I'm trying to be helpful. No. One question. I've never seen a sanitation worker.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Show up in a garbage truck, take my garbage, dump it in the truck, and me think maybe they're secretly stealing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Show me some identification.

[Travis McElroy]

It's the perfect crime.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, but you can't just be a trash truck that only picks up plants. Actually, that may exist.

[Travis McElroy]

Where else do you think they go, Griffin?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Back to the earth.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, kinda.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, but not in that location.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can you create a sort of ghillie suit that you wear and sort of shamble around and then when you come and you steal the bags of roughage from outside of the homes, if someone sees you and they'll be like, denise, I fucking told you there is.

[Travis McElroy]

And you get a little taller when you seal that, like, oh, he's adding to himself.

[Justin McElroy]

Where do you get the first long clippings to make the ghillie suit? If I had the ingredients for a ghillie suit, I'd be fine.

[Griffin McElroy]

All right.

[Travis McElroy]

If you could create like a cryptid, like, legend in your neighborhood of like, the cryptid that steals, like, yard waste, no one's going to believe it, but they're gonna be fine with it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, it's cute. It's gonna get on the news. We have a Leshy situation in our neighborhood. Keep your head. Keep your eyes locked out.

[Travis McElroy]

Don't look at him. We don't want him to stop doing it. It's very convenient for us, actually.

[Justin McElroy]

What if there's a scorpion in there? What if there's anything about that. I don't know what's in yard waste.

[Travis McElroy]

Or even a slug, frankly.

[Justin McElroy]

Street, street yard waste.

[Travis McElroy]

I'd actually rather a scorpion be in there because at least when I freak out over that, instead of a slug, everyone around will understand.

[Justin McElroy]

We love you. Get hydrated. We'll be right back.

[Theme Music]

It's better. It's better with you.

[Travis McElroy]

Hi, everybody, it's me, Travis, here with of course, my main man, my older brother, Justin McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

It's me, Justin McElroy, and I'm ready to do the ads now.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, Justin, as you know, today when we're recording, this is widow Griffin McElroy's birthday. Small McCartney. His special day. And so he said that he couldn't do ads, but he did leave me this note that I'm gonna read right now. He said, all I want for my birthday is for you guys to tell people about Rocket Money.

[Justin McElroy]

Wow, that's it?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, he said so. He wanted people to know that Rocket Money can find subscriptions you forgot about or something that you paid twice and didn't realize it. They can also help cancel subscriptions for you and alert you to an increase in subscription price. All kinds of stuff. It's a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. And Griffin put here, make sure to tell them because it's my birthday, that Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when they use all of the apps premium features. Now, I don't know about you, Justin, but it's starting to feel like maybe Griffin is being paid by Rocket Money to write this letter to us.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I. This feels like sponsored content or advertorial, I guess. And.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, something like that.

[Justin McElroy]

It's unfortunate to see our relationship deteriorate to this point, especially since, like, we.

[Travis McElroy]

Haven'T talked to Griffin in several days and this is like the only communication he left.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, wait, he did what? Is there anything else on there? Trav?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, it says make sure to tell them that they can cancel their unwanted subscriptions and reach financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter he said my show name, which I find interesting. My brother. My brother and me in the survey. So they know I sent you. Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about it from my show. Sincerely, Widdle. His brother Griffin. Quote Small McCartney in quote McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

Wow, it's nice to hear from him, I guess. I wish we'd heard anything else from Griffin.

[Travis McElroy]

Would have been where he is, how he's doing. Oh, there's a knock at the door.

[Justin McElroy]

Yep.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Hello, it's me. My name is Philip. I'm a singing telegram. Your brother Griffin sent me, told me he wanted to.

[Travis McElroy]

You left a gap there. I thought it was a conversation.

[Justin McElroy]

No, no, no. That's part of the song.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Hello. My name is Philip and I am Singing Telegram. Your brother Griffin sent me to get you out of a jam. A gift giving jam.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

You want to give something great. You want to give something that's not a plate. Well, let me tell ya, Griffin says you can't go wrong with aura frames. Do you have a mom? Do you have a dad? Did you used to. And now you have different stuff. Well, get them an aura frame. Setting it up is not too tough.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, Philip. Sorry, real quick. Can I interrupt you for a second?

[Justin McElroy]

This is your bed, Travis.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, this is my point.

[Justin McElroy]

Give some details.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, okay. It's not just for your mom or dad or dead parent as Philip alluded to. It's a great gift for everybody. Maybe your little brother who sent you a singing telegram on your birthday. Whatever. Aura frames was named the best digital photo frame by Wirecutter and was featured in 495 gift guides last year.

[Justin McElroy]

495 gift guides?

[Travis McElroy]

That's a lot. That's more gift guides than you were featured in.

[Justin McElroy]

And Nora's got a great deal for your mom.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Here on Mother's Day, Griffin sent me with 40 bucks that he paid me to save.

[Travis McElroy]

Maybe I should read this part. Philip, do you think? Just so it's clear. Oh, God. Philip's crying. Okay, this is gonna be all day.

[Justin McElroy]

Real quick.

[Travis McElroy]

Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day for a limited time. Better than Philip for a limited time. Listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off plus free shipping on their best selling Carver mat frame. That's a U R A frames.com promo code. Mybrother. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Philip, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that you weren't doing a great job.

[Justin McElroy]

Can I finish the song?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, of course. Sorry. Sorry.

[Justin McElroy]

Travis ended it so bad with a weird energy at a low, low temperature. Nobody's gonna respond to that. Cta. That's a call to action in the biz.

[Travis McElroy]

That's a part of the song.

[Justin McElroy]

He wrote it.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, Griffin. How did he not? Well, I guess he could probably assume I would ruin it. Okay. I also want. Hey, Philip.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes?

[Travis McElroy]

Before you go, I wanted to let you know that tickets are on sale now for our live shows in Michigan, Minnesota and Ohio. And that Minnesota, my brother, my brother and me is already sold out, so you won't be able to make it to that one.

[Justin McElroy]

Philip, can I sneak in the Back door?

[Travis McElroy]

No, we just bring in your doordash order. Oh, then yeah, of course. Wow, you wear a lot of hats, Philip. That's where I keep my money. Under your hats. Okay, all Taz show will be.

[Justin McElroy]

Why don't you tell him, Philip? Now you've got to kill him.

[Travis McElroy]

What was that, Philip? Your money.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hats.

[Justin McElroy]

You got to bury him again. Time to get a new identity. Damn your butt out of town, Phil.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, all Taz shows will be Taz Versus. And all the information and ticket links are available at Bit Ly Slash Macro Tours. We're also going to be at Origins Game Fair and Dragon Con. Find out all about it over at our site. Their merch, Everything's there too, so go check that out. Philip, you said you wanted to show me something in this dark alley over here?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Come on into here. It's perfectly safe for you.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, Sounds reasonable. Hey, everybody, enjoy the rest of the show and thanks to Raleigh for having us.

[Justin McElroy]

Welcome to Munch Squad. It's a podcast. Thank you. It's a podcast within a podcast profiling the latest and greatest in brand eating. And you know that Subway likes to get up to some things. Some of the things that, you know, Subway has gotten into include. Is it tuna? I don't know. That was a big one. Remember?

[Griffin McElroy]

That was a fun one.

[Justin McElroy]

Had the kind of rep where people were like, the fish ain't fish.

[Travis McElroy]

And didn't the science show that it wasn't fish. And they were like, what? We'll deny it to our grace.

[Justin McElroy]

We are so surprised. We're as surprised as you are. Just saying. So surprised.

[Travis McElroy]

We've been doing Munch Squad for a while now. Have you ever thought about starting a podcast within Munch Squad? That's a podcast.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, Munch Squad Junior is a podcast.

[Travis McElroy]

Within a podcast squad.

[Justin McElroy]

When we have Munch or Munch Squad Bites. I've called it both. But sometimes there's a small Munch Squad that is within the Munch Squad.

[Griffin McElroy]

And if he goes any deeper than that, he ends up in limbo. And then we have to throw him off the stage down there.

[Travis McElroy]

And tiny Paul Rudd is like, you've gone too deep.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, we're mixing our cinematic metaphors, but yeah, for sure.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. So I know the perfect thing to wake me up would be a real kick to my palate. And there's nobody that can deliver that. Like Subway Paul, let's see that great new offering. Foot long nachos. Jesus Christ.

[Griffin McElroy]

Jesus Christ.

[Justin McElroy]

Now for business.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wait, is the breakfast thing your own? Kind of.

[Travis McElroy]

Because he was Talking about the kick.

[Griffin McElroy]

Is the breakfast thing your own kind of sick, twisted, skewed thing, or were they also. Were they genuinely like, come on into Subway for breakfast nachos?

[Justin McElroy]

No, there's no breakfast angle.

[Travis McElroy]

He was talking about the kick to get him out of the inception.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, now I understand the joke.

[Travis McElroy]

This. Can I just say, having worked many, many a terrible job, my immediate reaction when I see this is thinking about the onboarding of the everyday Subway employee.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

When a manager comes and goes. All right, guys, so yeah, this week, corporate wanted me to let you know we're, we're gonna, we're gonna be doing nachos from now on.

[Justin McElroy]

That's our new deal.

[Travis McElroy]

So it is gonna require a six week intensive training course.

[Justin McElroy]

We were, we were pretty harsh on AI and I think it was deserved and pretty good. But I do think it was a person that thought three feet of nachos, one small Sprite. Nailed it. That's exactly how no one asked them for hydration to be part of the picture, except presumably their boss. And they decided 3ft of these is going to be about 11 ounces of tap water. We'll get that down for you, no problem.

[Travis McElroy]

I also want to point out the inconsistency of shadows.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, sure.

[Travis McElroy]

In a way that makes it look like they had the picture. And then they thought, this just looks like the nachos are floating in a shapeless void. So they had Doug go in and shade it in with a pencil.

[Justin McElroy]

The upper one looks like it's actually a dire wolf that just like emerging the portented nachos. Listen, these get nastier than. Those are Doritos, Okay? They're Doritos.

[Travis McElroy]

Fuck off.

[Justin McElroy]

Two legendary brands, Subway and Doritos are coming together for the most iconic collabo of the year. Doritos foot long nachos.

[Travis McElroy]

The one on the bottom looks like it has raspberries or raisins or something.

[Justin McElroy]

Good eye. Subway's latest foot long snack is freshly prepared to order, starting with classic Doritos nacho cheese flavored chips. Not the original. Did you guys know that? Original Doritos not nacho cheese flavored. Yeah, taco flavored. Weird. Subways lands. No, not just freshly prepared. Starting with Doritos nacho cheese flavored chips layered with cheddar cheese sauce and shredded Monterey cheddar cheese. I've.

[Travis McElroy]

Whoa.

[Justin McElroy]

I haven't pooped for four years in the future just reading that sentence. I'm cyber constipated.

[Travis McElroy]

Justin, can I just say, I've never thought about the fact that There doesn't exist, like, an original flavored Dorito that the only ones are all flavor. Like Pringles has Pringles and then all the other things on it. There is no, like, base Dorito.

[Justin McElroy]

It's a base Dorito, but they don't sell it anymore.

[Travis McElroy]

No, but even that Dorito is a.

[Justin McElroy]

Flavor, but it's not.

[Griffin McElroy]

This audience does not care about Doritos. I don't know how much clearer they can be.

[Justin McElroy]

Listen. The cheese is balanced, though, with a spicy jalapeno slices, diced tomatoes, and red onions, finished with zesty Baja chipotle sauce. Guests can add rotisserie. Now, this is the part that fucks me up pretty bad.

[Travis McElroy]

So listen.

[Justin McElroy]

This is the. No, no, no. It is. Listen to the sentence. Okay? Guests can. Guests can add rotisserie style chicken or steak at no extra charge.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait.

[Justin McElroy]

With the option to add a scoop of smashed avocado for an additional cost. Hey, guys, this is up. What they're saying is it's easier for them to find cows than it is to find avocados.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

You understand? They got cows and chickens come out the ears. Have that for free. No problem. But if you want to smash an avocado on top, that's going to cost.

[Travis McElroy]

Listen, I am not advocating for anyone in the audience to do this, so please don't do it. But is it possible, Justin, that that Sprite soda in the corner with a QR code on it is an arg that it's going to start you down a path.

[Griffin McElroy]

The game is afoot. The game ends with you on multiple toilets.

[Justin McElroy]

It says, order ahead, rump the line.

[Griffin McElroy]

All right, cool.

[Justin McElroy]

All right, so I'm sure everybody scanned that and got some access points at Subway Club. Here's a quote. Subway's newest partnership takes everything our fans love about Subway sandwiches, from quality veggies, proteins, and tasty toppings, to the next level with the cheesy flavor and iconic crunch of Doritos. Said Paul Fabre, the senior vice president of culinary and innovation at Subway. So what he's saying is we take everything people like about Subway. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

We ruin it, and we say, let's do nachos instead.

[Travis McElroy]

Because if they were being honest, Paul Favreau would say, you know, everything you love about Subway sandwiches, they're there. It's an option for when you're like, I think a hamburger's bad for me, but maybe a sandwich doesn't feel so bad.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And what we've done is remove any of that ambivalence, any of that doubt and let you know, yeah, it's bad for you.

[Justin McElroy]

You know what's so sad? I'm looking at this picture and thinking that this is still the fast food chain I turned to when I just want something light.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, sure.

[Justin McElroy]

Just a little, a little peckish. Maybe some Subway would be nice.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think it should be illegal to sell nachos in a unit of measurement other than maybe weight or volume to bring the three Christian dimensions into this.

[Travis McElroy]

I also know that there exists drive through subways, right? And introducing a foot long trough of drive through nachos.

[Griffin McElroy]

No fucking way is the structural intention integrity of that cardboard up to the task, you guys, of being handed from one person to another person through an open window.

[Justin McElroy]

These guys are sandwich artists, man. They are pros at handing over foot.

[Travis McElroy]

Long food guys container like a mummy. There's no way that's getting especially I'm getting it and maybe handing it off to someone. There's so many failure.

[Justin McElroy]

Imagine, imagine if the insult happens at the midpoint and it just like slurps the whole mess.

[Griffin McElroy]

They're sandwich artists, Justin. They are not nacho engineers. Which is a totally different skill set.

[Justin McElroy]

Whether you're this. Sorry, Paul wanted to mention one other thing. Whether you're in the mood for a snack, pairing them with your favorite sub or sharing with friends, there's one acceptable one. Subway and Doritos are serving up even more flavor in every satisfying portion. Bite. Don't act like this meets a bunch of needs.

[Travis McElroy]

No, I love the idea of being filling a niche. I'm gonna need a foot long sub, but I don't think that's gonna be quite enough. You know what would be a great pairing? One third of a yard of nachos.

[Griffin McElroy]

I have a two foot hunger and it could only be satisfied with two feet of food.

[Travis McElroy]

Do you want a yard of cookie? Like a foot of cookie to go with it? Don't be ridiculous. No.

[Griffin McElroy]

So like a two foot square. Nope. A two foot straight pipe of food, baby.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, we're quote, there's another.

[Travis McElroy]

You could pick up the nachos, put them on the sandwich, condense it into the same linear space.

[Griffin McElroy]

Too tall. Too tall.

[Justin McElroy]

Whenever you have a collaboration, both companies always have to get a hand on the ball. So on the Doritos front, we didn't approve of this. Help, help, help.

[Travis McElroy]

Don't put this on us.

[Justin McElroy]

This was a bridge too far. The Taco Bell shit we fucked with. But this is pretty wild. Listen, we're proud to team up with Subway to bring a bold take on the classic Nachos experience by combining the bold, cheesy crunch of Doritos nacho cheese chips and Subway's freshly prepared ingredients, said Scott Finlow, Chief Marketing Officer, PepsiCo Away from home now.

[Travis McElroy]

Ah.

[Justin McElroy]

Do you know how hard they had to work to not put Doritos in that person's job title? Why? Why? The abstraction is what, like, they should be like, chief crunch officer, you know, Scott Danger or something.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is a.

[Travis McElroy]

This is PepsiCo away from. From home. The name of it. Or did they catch him away from home?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

PepsiCo away from home. Because we don't want. We need a comp. Like, it's like a division that we can shut down.

[Griffin McElroy]

We need a fall guy for if this Subway nacho that was in classic.

[Justin McElroy]

Pepsi company, that was Pepsi Co. That.

[Travis McElroy]

Was supposed to go away from home. We don't even know. That's actually not related. Can I say Justin, Scott, I'm hungry. Scott's assertion that we are excited to be a re envisioning of nachos, where, get this, it's a foot chips.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, okay.

[Travis McElroy]

With cheese and other things on top of it. We done changed the nachos.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, Travis, okay, if you were at a funeral and you opened up the casket and there were nachos inside, you would be like, this is a bold reinvention of what I know about nachos.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, Griffin, that's the wildest fucking leap I've ever heard that. If I opened a coffin and saw I'm out of wake, I open the coffin, it's full of nachos. And I think, wow, they really changed the nacho.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm just saying how completely pedestrian to say these look like nachos. How tame. When in fact, it is not the form that has changed, but the method of delivery. You walk into a Subway and they have fucking nachos.

[Justin McElroy]

What? Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

So why not say in the press release we're changing that nacho game by having them at Subway now?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, that is the question. It's like, Subway's in the meeting. Doritos is like, so anyway, in closing, it's some Doritos and you put nacho stuff on them. And Subway's like, I still don't understand why we are here. Why do we have to be a part of this? Open up a new store. It's a good idea. We just don't want to be a part of it. We have.

[Travis McElroy]

We don't have any of the infrastructure for this. Our cheese has to get melted in a big oven that. We also put the bread in to bake.

[Justin McElroy]

Nothing has.

[Travis McElroy]

We don't have liquid cheese.

[Griffin McElroy]

Our only chips are baked lays still with olestra dog. That's it.

[Justin McElroy]

We're gonna have to change the plumbing for this.

[Griffin McElroy]

What is a Dorito?

[Justin McElroy]

So that's the Doritos nachos at Subway.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you so much. Subway and Doritos. We're going to do some live questions now. Calling down people who sent in their questions in advance. Please don't approach the microphone if we do not call your name.

[Justin McElroy]

Paul, while we're waiting, do you have the picture of the statue for us to talk about? We'll talk about it for a second because several people emailed us and we thought that we could address the Raleigh issue if you have the image. It is a few people. I mean, literally the minute after my dad walked off stage, I opened my iPad and I had an email that was called Nutting in Raleigh.

[Travis McElroy]

And it.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, so you guys have. It's a thing, right? Like this legend has been passed around, I guess.

[Travis McElroy]

Is it really called? Is it titled by the artist, the big nut or is that just what y'all call it?

[Justin McElroy]

No one knows.

[Griffin McElroy]

No one knows.

[Justin McElroy]

It's lost in time.

[Griffin McElroy]

Anyway.

[Travis McElroy]

One day it looks like it will open and reveal like some kind of dinosaur.

[Justin McElroy]

It will be. It will be me. I will emerge from. From it. The stories are true.

[Travis McElroy]

The artist was dead 45 years ago when he dropped a huge nut.

[Justin McElroy]

Huge. As legend, I emerged from a nut named Thought. Yes, My nature was irrepressible. Okay, listen, I'm sorry for the interruption. Please, go ahead.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hello?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hello.

[Maggie]

Hi, I'm Maggie. She hurt.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hi, Maggie.

[Maggie]

Thanks for coming to Raleigh.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, thanks for having us back.

[Justin McElroy]

It was also the end of the train line, so we would have gone back the other way if we hadn't gotten off there.

[Maggie]

Well, appreciate the stop.

[Travis McElroy]

And they wouldn't let us do that. They were really weird about it where we said, one more again.

[Griffin McElroy]

And they were like, no, no, no. So what's your question?

[Maggie]

Well, I guess to stay on theme, I do have a nut related question.

[Griffin McElroy]

Amazing. You've come to the right place.

[Maggie]

Thank you. I figured as much. So I teach ukulele and the fun thing about musical instruments is they have all these different.

[Travis McElroy]

What do you teach them?

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm so sorry, Maggie. He got you so good.

[Travis McElroy]

Just there.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's really nasty. It's fucked up, honestly. But he got you so fucking good. Like blasted. Sorry.

[Justin McElroy]

Go ahead.

[Griffin McElroy]

Face melt mode. Anyway, I guess.

[Maggie]

Yeah, you did get me.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you.

[Travis McElroy]

That's the Only reason we called you down. Thank you so much.

[Justin McElroy]

No, no, no, Maggie.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, no Maggie. No Maggie. What's your question?

[Maggie]

Okay, so there are lots of different parts of the ukulele, and I'll have students label them with different, like tactile labels. And one of the parts is the nut.

[Justin McElroy]

Right.

[Maggie]

And I teach second through fifth grade, so.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, no, unfortunately, that's where it starts, gang.

[Travis McElroy]

Are you actually able, I'm curious, to pinpoint, like, I've been working on, say, a year and a half and they haven't laughed at than. Not until now.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's exactly.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, no. Their innocence is gone. Yeah.

[Maggie]

It's like a psychological developmental stage.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes. I first want to say I was the first one who read your question, and I thought it was good and I wanted to include it. And it took me a distressingly long time to find it again due to the challenges of spelling ukulele.

[Maggie]

That's fair.

[Justin McElroy]

It did. It took a few passes, but I did get back there.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you have a mnemonic device to help my brother and any other people here in the audience on how to spell ukulele in the.

[Justin McElroy]

Because Travis backstage shouted the wrong spelling.

[Travis McElroy]

I will.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm screamed at the top of the story.

[Travis McElroy]

There was only 1U or 3U.

[Justin McElroy]

So certain.

[Griffin McElroy]

I remember it from one Homestar Runner video where they say ukulele.

[Travis McElroy]

That's it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Ukulele.

[Maggie]

Right, Ukulele, Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

All right, great. So we have.

[Travis McElroy]

I guess I'm the image.

[Justin McElroy]

Image of that. Just so you can see. So far your efforts have been to underline the word nut and print the word nut in a bunch of cards and underline the word nut.

[Travis McElroy]

And this looks like every part of the ukulele is called the nut.

[Justin McElroy]

So. So just so we can be clear, this is where you're starting from. Is your first thought was print the word nut over and over again and underline it and hand it to the kids.

[Travis McElroy]

And we all know what part of the ukulele is the nut, but for the one person in the audience.

[Griffin McElroy]

Don't say a fucking word, Maggie. We should have to guess what the nut is.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, Maggie. Something else I'll say. A lot of times I'm not sure I can help people, but I'm pretty sure we could make it less funny than you've done here. Honestly, this is pretty much what five year olds dream of. So I'm handing them a card with the word nut underlined in case they missed how funny it is.

[Travis McElroy]

Is it the part you turn to tune it?

[Maggie]

No, that's A tuning peg.

[Justin McElroy]

That's right.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't need to know what it is. I just need to know what it isn't.

[Griffin McElroy]

So it can. Is there a different Griffin?

[Travis McElroy]

What is the knot on a. Ugh.

[Griffin McElroy]

I was hoping you wouldn't ask. Is it the thing that the string goes in?

[Maggie]

It's like the bridge. You know the bridge?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, That's.

[Maggie]

The nut is the other end of the bridge, right?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's what I was talking about.

[Maggie]

I thought so.

[Justin McElroy]

Paul's gonna now zoom in on the nut.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes. Scope that nut.

[Griffin McElroy]

Scope the nut.

[Justin McElroy]

Paul's a pro. I'm sure he knows where the nut is. Right, Paul?

[Griffin McElroy]

Paul's looking.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, is that it?

[Griffin McElroy]

Paul's looking.

[Travis McElroy]

I wasn't that far off. Yeah. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

It's not that big of an instrument, though, Trav. To be fair, I'd say hard to miss.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do they really need to know this to play the ukulele?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

They don't already know it. Call it something else. They're not gonna correct you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, Just say. And this is called the.

[Travis McElroy]

The twisty.

[Justin McElroy]

What do you guys think teachers do? You don't pick one thing to lie about. That's not the job.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, they don't.

[Griffin McElroy]

Justin, I don't know what the.

[Travis McElroy]

You're allowed to have one thing to lie about as a teacher. 1.

[Griffin McElroy]

You should. You should be able to.

[Justin McElroy]

You already have to do that to tell them they need algebra. I don't see why you have to waste it on the ukulele.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think you should be able to tag in the health class teacher just for this one thing.

[Maggie]

No, that's. That's a good point.

[Griffin McElroy]

They get paid the big bucks to discuss uncomfortable topics.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like the nutrition.

[Travis McElroy]

Start pronouncing it newt.

[Maggie]

Oh, that's ukulele. Newt.

[Griffin McElroy]

Newt.

[Travis McElroy]

That's the newt.

[Justin McElroy]

Newt.

[Travis McElroy]

And then you're not lying. You're just wrong.

[Griffin McElroy]

Does that help?

[Maggie]

Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you so much, Maggie. Thank you.

[Travis McElroy]

It's good.

[Justin McElroy]

Back to baseline. Back to our baseline. Nut picture.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hello.

[Justin McElroy]

Hello.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can you confirm your name for me real quick? We're gonna call Evie. Evie. Okay. Hello, Evie. You have our undivided attention.

[Maggie]

Sweet. I would just like to know how to get a bigger wine pour at a wine tasting.

[Griffin McElroy]

Awesome. Awesome, awesome, awesome.

[Travis McElroy]

Have you tried anything so far?

[Maggie]

I kind of wave it in the air and say orange peels.

[Griffin McElroy]

So, wait. Your suggestion. Hold on. Your.

[Justin McElroy]

Is your indecision supposed to communicate your deep desire for more?

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, yeah. Or is it a situation where you think if you can guess what the wine is good enough. They'll go, mm. And then pour more of it.

[Justin McElroy]

Correct.

[Griffin McElroy]

Your reward.

[Travis McElroy]

Here's the thing. I've been to wine tastings. I've seen Sideways, so I consider myself a bit of an expert. It's all made up bullshit. So if you were, like, swirling it around and you said, mm, not tall enough to get a good read, I'm.

[Griffin McElroy]

Having trouble catching the nose all the way down there.

[Travis McElroy]

You say, I guarantee you, nine times out of ten, whoever is pouring it for you at that specific place is like, I don't know either. Yeah, man, this sounds good. Is this enough?

[Griffin McElroy]

Can you paint us a picture of. Are you talking about a bigger port of wine tasting? Are you talking about that first little sniff that they pour out there for some fucking reason? Or is it like a flight situation has an insubstantial amount of wine in it?

[Maggie]

No, it's just that little.

[Travis McElroy]

Like when you go to a taste, not the part where the person opens it and you pretend like you know what you're doing and say, yes, this is excellent. Fill my glass and please walk away before I have to say anything.

[Griffin McElroy]

Anything else, please.

[Travis McElroy]

This is more. You're going to. And they pour it and say, now try this one. And you go, mm, very good. As you think. Not quite drunk enough. 10% there. 20%. Right. As you go on.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Were other people getting bigger pours?

[Maggie]

Yes, they were.

[Travis McElroy]

That's fucked up, I think. Hey, listen, as one of three siblings, all you have to lean. You lean in and say, why do you like them more than me?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Have you ever tried? Hey, I'm trying to get drunk.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, that would probably work on me. Oh, I thought you wanted fun Evie to be here.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't say that last one.

[Justin McElroy]

Probably. Maybe. Maybe you could start, like. Start a anticipatory noise like before you saying, when, Right. So as soon as they start pouring, I was like.

[Griffin McElroy]

Start doing some. Like, start doing some Foley work.

[Travis McElroy]

As they come to pour, just go, okay, bring your own Sharpie. Before they pour, grab the glass, put a mark on it so that you say, just so you don't have to worry about it.

[Justin McElroy]

They just need to do something confusing enough that they think about it for a half second, right? Like, as they're pouring, like, ooh, chuggies. And it's like, that's confusing enough. They're like, I wish they hadn't said that. And then by then, they've already poured, like, a half ounce.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, just start counting. And three and four and five and six and seven and eight and done.

[Justin McElroy]

Eight is a.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's a lot of wine. Can you have a puppet with you?

[Justin McElroy]

Sorry, what?

[Travis McElroy]

I think you said puppet, but I also heard puffin.

[Justin McElroy]

Can you or I think is, is it puppet then?

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, first of all, if I'm a sommelier and I'm pouring wine for the table and someone has a puffin, they're going to get extra fucking wine for sure.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, sorry, the person or the puffin?

[Griffin McElroy]

The person. Puffins don't drink. You know this.

[Travis McElroy]

Not yet.

[Griffin McElroy]

I.

[Travis McElroy]

What an innovation.

[Griffin McElroy]

If you have a puppet that is incredibly lifelike and those bum people out an incredibly lifelike puppet. And then you'll say, and them too. And then you just pour theirs into yours. Double dip.

[Travis McElroy]

Double dip.

[Justin McElroy]

With the puppets portion, it will need.

[Travis McElroy]

To be life size for them to believe it's over 21.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

Have you ever. Do you have a shirt that says I'm just here for the wine.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, that's a good one.

[Justin McElroy]

Because then you could kind of point to it like, huh, right. Do you like my shirt? And that's again just confusing enough to buy you like an extra a second while they're reading the shirt. That's what the shirt should say. While you were reading this, I got free wine. Idiot. Thanks, sucker. Also, if you are hurt or upset by my shirt, please tell me. I, I, I brought a lot of five shirt. I have a jacket, I got a lot of five dollar bills and I'll tip you generously. I'm sorry, I just would love to. It's more of a dress really. Yeah, it's like a. Yeah, it's like a. Yeah, like a down. It's a floor length gown with a train.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is one of those ones where they give you the bucket and then the expectation is maybe you'll.

[Travis McElroy]

No one really does that. Right.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well then you have a lot of buckets around that you can accidentally spill stuff into and be like, oops, I spilled mine, I need another. But then that bucket wine is still good to go. We're running out of steam up here.

[Travis McElroy]

No, Griffin, you're the one who said drink this whole.

[Griffin McElroy]

It would be a clean empty one. Thank you so much. Did we help you?

[Maggie]

That was so helpful.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you very, very much. Thank you. Please approach the microphone. Can we also get William S in section E, row X, seat 113? I hope this isn't a joke because that does spell sex if you read all the letters together. Fuck me. I hope that's not one of those. Hello.

[Justin McElroy]

Hello.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hi, I'm Bryce.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm looking at people who work here to see if anyone's like, nope, not the real thing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Bryce, what's your question?

[Bryce]

So, recently, I've been on a big, like, 90s recap kick.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Bryce]

And I've been watching a lot of old stuff. I've been watching a lot of old Nickelodeon, and I've been watching a lot of Rocket Power.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Bryce]

And I am at a point where I want to learn. Learn how to do a kick flip.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Bryce]

But I've never ridden a skateboard without falling down and knocking the air out of my lungs.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bryce]

Okay, so. And I don't want to work that hard, so.

[Justin McElroy]

Sure.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, Bryce, bring it home.

[Bryce]

So how can I learn how to do a kick flip in four days?

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, so I've lured you here under false pretense.

[Griffin McElroy]

You've sprung our trap again, Brian.

[Justin McElroy]

Trap again. Bryce, here's the thing that I want to ask you, Bryce. Every single live show we have ever done, there are at least one to two questions about skateboarding. And I, for the life of me, cannot figure out why you people keep asking us about something that we are clearly, so deeply, foundationally ignorant of. We have had 15 years through, like, peaks and valleys of skateboarding to unfurl any sort of wisdom. We. It's zero. Yet every single live show, there is a skateboarding question.

[Travis McElroy]

And to that point, it's always a very technical, how do I do that? How do I do this? And it's like, it's not like I want to get started. Please tell me other resources.

[Justin McElroy]

I can put you on the spot, but what is it about us that's like, these guys could skateboard.

[Travis McElroy]

And not just skateboard, but have the skills to teach?

[Griffin McElroy]

Bryce, I'm so sorry.

[Justin McElroy]

Four days.

[Bryce]

So, okay. It's a number of things, honestly.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. Take your time, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is. We've never done a Gacha segment before, so, like, we're also pretty nervous right now.

[Bryce]

No, this is cool. My pulse is like. Like 120.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, no, no, no. Ours too. You get yourself.

[Griffin McElroy]

Bryce. I'm gonna help you after we address this thing.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I just assume. Yeah. I'm looking for a gut reaction.

[Bryce]

It's a number of things. It's that often I hear talk about animorphs. I talk about other extreme awesome 90s things.

[Justin McElroy]

Right.

[Bryce]

And Griffin's, like, whole vibe.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm sorry to dial down on the first one, but your thing is, like, they lived through the 90s and remember.

[Justin McElroy]

Stuff from it, so surely don't put Bryce on trial. These dudes These are, as our guests, under false pretenses. These dudes fuck with KA Applegate, they can cry.

[Travis McElroy]

Bryce, we haven't even gotten to my favorite part of the question, Bryce, and you already kick flipped my thought process by when you said in the question, how do I learn in four days? I thought, no, I think you've made it clear. Tell me if I'm wrong. I thought, oh, there's a deadline. But what it sounds like you're saying, Bryce, is I only have four days of caring in me about this. So if I don't get it in four days, I'm giving up. How do I get it in for four days or else?

[Griffin McElroy]

Which is it, Bryce?

[Bryce]

That is 100% correct.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, great. Fantastic.

[Justin McElroy]

Now that I could work with.

[Travis McElroy]

That is the most self aware thing anyone has ever said on this show.

[Bryce]

I just know for a fact that if I actually try for four whole days, I feel like I could get it.

[Justin McElroy]

I think you're absolutely right. Do you know this? The stumbling block for me is this.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like you would fall down and die.

[Justin McElroy]

Unpleasant.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I mean the literal one. Which is, it's going to be such an unpleasant four days though, isn't it? A lot of falling to the ground. And at my age, I don't know.

[Griffin McElroy]

Bryce, how are your bones?

[Travis McElroy]

So why not increase that? Get some cool teens to watch you learn in four days, okay? Because if you're not going to get it with that pressure on you, you're.

[Griffin McElroy]

Never going to get it or do it near two billboards. Here's what you're going to do. You're going to, in four days, learn how to skateboard, okay? And you'll skateboard behind one of the billboards. That's where you'll have, I mean, Tony Hawk back there behind that first billboard. He comes out and does a perfect kick flip and then disappears behind the second billboard where you will then skateboard out the other side, creating a perfect sort of stereoscopic illusion.

[Justin McElroy]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What if you go behind one billboard, Tony Hawk kick flips across the gap, and then a beautiful Las Vegas style showgirl emerges from the other side.

[Travis McElroy]

No, wait, no shit. Tie it all together back to what you said, you Tony Hawk, and then it's a horse and you're an animorph and.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, dude, now we're back at our core competency.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Does that help?

[Bryce]

Absolutely.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you, Bryce. You're a great support. Thank you, Bryce.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's important that the horse doesn't stay a horse for longer than like, I think it was 45 minutes.

[Travis McElroy]

And if the horse can do a kickflip too, that's icing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hello.

[William]

Howdy, y'all.

[Griffin McElroy]

How.

[William]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

So, so glad you're real, by the way, and not just a sex gag for us. Thank you so much.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey.

[Travis McElroy]

They could be both Dance fair.

[William]

I have a wonderful library in my town. In order to get to the books that I really want, which are the ones about Batman.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes.

[William]

You have to go downstairs through the children's section in the back. They have a wonderful YA area. But I feel like kind of a creep going down there. Do I feel like not being a creep walking through the kids section?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[William]

Get my Batman books.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Can I ask you a question? Because there is a phrasing there that I do want to clarify. Instead of saying Batman books, you said books about Batman.

[Justin McElroy]

That's a huge difference.

[Travis McElroy]

There's a very big dividend. Are you looking at, like, maybe, like, dissections of Batman as a character or.

[Justin McElroy]

You just want to keep up with the adventures of your friend Batman?

[William]

Yeah. Not all books that have Batman in it are Batman books.

[Griffin McElroy]

Explain what you just said to us.

[Justin McElroy]

Sorry, but you're not looking for, like.

[Travis McElroy]

Are you reading between the lines of, like, Oliver Twist to be like, I bet Batman is alive at the time when this book is happening?

[Justin McElroy]

I think you need to get b. Batman reclassified. I think you need to go to the library officials and say, hello, I would like to volunteer to organize a new detective section. And all the great detectives will go there in this section. And it's for grownups only.

[Travis McElroy]

In fact, if you want to label it adults only and maybe put a beaded curtain. Adult detectives only for adult searching.

[Griffin McElroy]

Have you asked why the Batman media is classified? Because there's some pretty spooky grown up stuff that that guy gets up to sometimes.

[William]

I guess it's just the drawings that.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, so are all. Are all graphic novels and comics?

[Justin McElroy]

I've seen some of our books over there in the youth section, where they should not be.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think it is your moral obligation to correct that scenario.

[Travis McElroy]

If you see our books in a used bookstore, any bookstore, you have to. To buy them to keep kids safe.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that's important. Has this. Has. Have you been confronted before or is this a silent fear in the back of your mind?

[William]

It's a silent fear. It's how the kids look at me sometimes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sure.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, how the kids look at you?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[William]

Well, I. I'm tall and I got a big beard.

[Griffin McElroy]

I got a big hat. And they may be more like Marvel Guys. So that could be part of the issue also.

[Travis McElroy]

See, this is. That's why I think now that we have our cell phones and I store my pictures of my kids in there, I do sometimes wish I had a wallet with a big drop fold out of pictures of my kids that I could pull out when I felt like someone's judging me. That I could walk through a children's section and just go, God, I miss my two children that I definitely have. I definitely have two kids. I would put down like 20 pictures of them and be. Be like, he definitely has kids. And that's okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

I have two kids and a normal relationship with Batman.

[Justin McElroy]

I like him just as much as everybody else likes him.

[Griffin McElroy]

I like him the normal amount. And you're the assholes for hiding him in the kid zone.

[Justin McElroy]

Does that help? Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

What if you flipped your wallet out and it was just 20 pixels of Batman?

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm supposed to be here. Thank you, William.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you, William.

[Griffin McElroy]

And thank you, Raleigh.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you. You can lower the lights. Thank you so much.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you all so much.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, y'all. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You've been such a fun audience. You've been very cool, and we really appreciate it. We want to remind you that we do have beautiful posters and maybe by Anna Rhode.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you, Anna Rhodes.

[Justin McElroy]

Coins. Are there still coins? There are still coins available. If you do not buy them now, you will never get a chance to.

[Travis McElroy]

So just believe we got some of these cool coins left available. These are.

[Justin McElroy]

These have been selling so fast now. Why are we pushing these items? Because we're bad at business and we don't make any money off of them. So make sure you suck up, because.

[Griffin McElroy]

We don't benefit material if we don't sell them. It's kind of like negative money. Isn't that up anyway?

[Travis McElroy]

And I also want to say thank you. The May Mandy center here. Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

Gorgeous.

[Griffin McElroy]

We're so happy to be back. Thank you.

[Travis McElroy]

This is our second time before performing here, and it's been absolutely lovely every time. Next time, if you could make it a little less humid, we would appreciate.

[Griffin McElroy]

The humidity was too bad for us. M. Mandy, thank you to Montaigne for these for a theme song. My life is better with you. Thank you, too. Thank you to our dad. Thank you to.

[Travis McElroy]

And thank you to our dad for nutting in your city to give me my older brother. Just plant.

[Justin McElroy]

That's right, citizen. Thank you, dad, for being in our.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you, Paul. Thank you, Amanda. Thank you, Rachel. Thank you everybody who helps us put these shows on and Seriously, thank you all for coming. You all have been absolutely amazing. To finish things off here, can we maybe share a fear that one of our listeners has decided to.

[Travis McElroy]

Can I read it?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, please.

[Justin McElroy]

Slide it over.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you. Here we go. This year I will become faster than my fear of having to convince anybody that I'm the real me in a clone standoff scenario. I'm just not a big enough threat to clone.

[Justin McElroy]

My name is Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm Travis McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Griffin McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

My brother. My brother me. Kiss your dad square on the lips.

[Theme Music]

It's better with you it's better it's better with you My life it's better it's better with you. Cause it's true it's better it's better with you My life it's better with you.

[Maggie]

Maximum Fun.

[Griffin McElroy]

A worker owned network of artist owned.

[Justin McElroy]

Shows supported directly by.