MBMBaM 767: Look at Me, An Outdoor Kid

Summary

Podcast Summary: My Brother, My Brother And Me – MBMBaM 767: Look at Me, An Outdoor Kid

Release Date: June 16, 2025
Hosts: Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy

---

Introduction and Scooter Surprise [00:00 – 03:28]

The episode kicks off with Griffin humorously disclaiming the McElroy brothers' lack of expertise, setting the comedic tone for the show. Shortly after, Griffin shares an unexpected surprise: two electric scooters mysteriously left on his doorstep in the District of Columbia.

Griffin McElroy [02:12]: "God wants me to zoom. And left me. Not one, two electric scooters for me."

The brothers speculate about the origin of the scooters, with Griffin insisting they were left by an enigmatic delivery, possibly hinting at supernatural intervention. The conversation quickly shifts to the practicalities and hilarities of using dual scooters, leading to Griffin enthusiastically preparing to "zoom."

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Scooter Shenanigans and Unexpected Mishaps [03:28 – 07:08]

Griffin eagerly takes the scooters for a spin, boasting about their readiness and "street-legal" status. However, his excitement turns to chaos as he recounts a disastrous ride resulting in multiple falls and injuries.

Griffin McElroy [05:08]: "I fell down 20 times and I fucked up my legs."

The brothers express concern, blending genuine worry with their trademark humor. Griffin's misadventures serve as both a comedic highlight and a relatable moment about trying new outdoor activities.

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Listener Questions: Bug Relocation and Outdoor Challenges [11:37 – 19:46]

The episode transitions to audience engagement, with listener Tomeless from Tampa posing a unique question about offering insect relocation services to his neighbors. The brothers dive into a comedic brainstorming session on how to effectively advertise and manage such a niche service.

Travis McElroy [13:16]: "You need a barter system. What's the thing you don't want to do around your house?"

The discussion highlights their creative approaches, including humorous ideas like using ziplines for bug transportation and negotiating exchange rates for different types of bugs. Their playful banter turns a mundane question into an entertaining segment filled with inventive (and absurd) solutions.

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Dance Recitals and Parental Struggles [06:48 – 10:26]

Travis shares his recent experience attending his children's dance recitals, expressing both admiration and exhaustion.

Travis McElroy [08:19]: "My children are in dance class. And they're wonderful and talented and great."

The brothers empathize with the challenges of attending multiple recitals, blending genuine sentiment with their signature humor. They discuss the competitive nature of dance classes and the amusing scenarios that unfold during performances.

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Mission Impossible Parodies and TV Crossover Jokes [29:18 – 33:42]

In a playful tangent, the brothers parody scenes from the "Mission Impossible" series, intertwining it with references to other TV shows like "Family Matters" and "Fargo." This segment showcases their knack for pop culture references and improvisational humor.

Griffin McElroy [31:04]: "What if in that scene Step by step where Urkel lands with a jetpack, what if instead he—the jetpack malfunctioned in the sky and he fell to his death in the yard of the Step by step family?"

Their imaginative storytelling blurs the lines between different TV universes, creating a fun and chaotic narrative that keeps listeners engaged.

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Ad Parodies: Factor Meals and Taco Bell [34:01 – 49:38]

Continuing their comedic streak, the brothers create fictional advertisements for brands like Factor Meals and Taco Bell. These parodies are filled with exaggerated claims and absurd scenarios, providing a humorous take on typical podcast ad segments.

Travis McElroy [35:34]: "Factor's chef crafted meals are ready to eat in just two minutes. Taking the hassle out of eating well, so you can get right back to..."

The ads blend reality with fantasy, poking fun at marketing clichés while maintaining the show's lighthearted atmosphere.

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Library Adventures and Book Requests [50:00 – 55:08]

Returning to listener interactions, Tomeless from Tampa shares his experience with library book requests and the challenges of connecting with fellow book enthusiasts. The brothers engage in a role-playing exercise to humorously address his dilemma.

Travis McElroy [52:39]: "It's an asynchronous book club here where the librarian is going to become your, like, dead drop, right?"

Their attempt to solve the problem showcases their improvisational skills and ability to turn simple questions into entertaining dialogues.

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Closing Remarks and Show Updates [55:08 – 58:09]

In the concluding segments, the brothers provide updates on upcoming live shows, merchandise, and rebranding efforts. They also read out listener fears, maintaining their interactive format until the end.

Griffin McElroy [57:30]: "This has been My Brother, My Brother and Me, kiss your dad square on the lips."

The episode wraps up with their signature blend of humor, announcements, and friendly banter, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating the next installment.

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Notable Quotes:

• Griffin McElroy [02:12]: "God wants me to zoom. And left me. Not one, two electric scooters for me."
• Griffin McElroy [05:08]: "I fell down 20 times and I fucked up my legs."
• Travis McElroy [13:16]: "You need a barter system. What's the thing you don't want to do around your house?"
• Griffin McElroy [31:04]: "What if in that scene Step by step where Urkel lands with a jetpack, what if instead he—the jetpack malfunctioned..."
• Travis McElroy [35:34]: "Factor's chef crafted meals are ready to eat in just two minutes..."
• Griffin McElroy [57:30]: "This has been My Brother, My Brother and Me, kiss your dad square on the lips."

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Conclusion

Episode 767 of "My Brother, My Brother And Me," titled "Look at Me, An Outdoor Kid," is a quintessential installment showcasing the McElroy brothers' humor, creativity, and strong rapport. From unexpected scooter gifts and injury tales to inventive listener solutions and hilarious ad parodies, the episode offers a blend of laughter and light-hearted advice, embodying the show's charm and appeal to both long-time fans and newcomers.

Transcript

[Griffin McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out.

[Travis McElroy]

There will know how cool they are for listening.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's up, you cool baby?

[Justin McElroy]

It's the start of something beautiful A.

[Griffin McElroy]

Small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into.

[Justin McElroy]

A precious friends I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life, it feels like it's better it's better with you My life, it's better it's better with you this is true it's better it's better with.

[Griffin McElroy]

Two.

[Unknown]

It'S better with you hello, everybody, and welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

What's up Trav Nation? It's me, your middlest brother, Travis. Vroom, vroom, McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's up, travnation? This is Griffin McElroy, and I'm sorry, dudes, Whoa. But I got a jet.

[Unknown]

Oh, wait, you have to jet?

[Griffin McElroy]

What gets started? Sorry, dudes, no can do today. Got a zoom.

[Travis McElroy]

I think you were ready. Like we have this schedule.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I'm ready to fucking zoom.

[Unknown]

Where are you going?

[Griffin McElroy]

Because the road's Sh.

[Unknown]

Shush.

[Griffin McElroy]

The road's calling me and I need to go zoom. Because this morning I woke up, you guys, and I looked out my window in my front yard. Was not much of a yard, but I looked out on the sidewalk in front of my house. Someone had left two electric scooters there for me.

[Unknown]

Are you kidding?

[Griffin McElroy]

Two electric scooters delivered like a stork or an angel did it and said, God wants you to zoom. And left me. Not one, two electric scooters for me.

[Unknown]

Griffin hat. Like, in what state? In what state? Sorry, in what state?

[Griffin McElroy]

Not one. Not a state.

[Travis McElroy]

It's the District of Columbia.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's not a state. It's the District of Columbia. We're pretty fucking sore about it. What state? I mean, I'm not an electric scooter guy. God wants me to be one because he put two beautiful fucking grinders on my doorstep this morning. They look fully ready to fuck. Like, they look good to go.

[Travis McElroy]

So you busted out. You busted out the quiver that you have for the second one, right? So that as you ride the first one charge depletes. You whip that second one off your.

[Griffin McElroy]

Back and you can hop from one to the other while you're on the highway. Cause these motherfuckers look street legal and ready to go.

[Travis McElroy]

They got nas.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's that?

[Travis McElroy]

They got nas.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't. Travis, I don't know anything about electric scooters. You keep asking questions about like the. Do they have a turbos and gadgets?

[Travis McElroy]

Are they still there?

[Griffin McElroy]

Are they still. Yeah, man, I don't know. I saw them fucking 10 minutes ago. Now you're gonna make me paranoid that I have to check periodically that somebody's.

[Travis McElroy]

Not bring em inside. Griffin.

[Unknown]

Are you a little bit worried, Griffin, about the fact that someone drove. Not one, someone, two. Someone.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Oh, gang drove to where you live.

[Unknown]

And they were like, this is the place. And then left.

[Griffin McElroy]

Looks like we'll stop right here. Our journey ends here at Griffin McElroy's house. Yeah, juice, the game's afoot. I am. I've been keeping my eyes peeled all morning for these fucking sneaky grinders who have rolled up to my house, left me a beautiful gift. I can't wait to zoom on these things.

[Unknown]

Yeah, but it is like where is. Where are.

[Griffin McElroy]

But like where are real though?

[Unknown]

Where are you? Nice. Because there's two of you and there's one of him. And you knew that, didn't you? You knew that going in that there's one of you.

[Travis McElroy]

It might be a Pennywise thing where.

[Griffin McElroy]

They are a little bit close to us to a little sewer, whatever you call that.

[Unknown]

No, I. I think that renting a scooter rather than buying your own is quite Pennywise, Travis.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, that's cool, man. But I don't know what you mean.

[Travis McElroy]

I talk about that in the storyline of how frugal he is. Like that's not his real name. His real name is Tony, but. But everybody calls him Pennywise because he's so good with money and he eats kids or whatever that like. Yeah, obviously that's overwhelming feature.

[Unknown]

Take it from Jonathan Swift. That's a perfectly logical reaction to economic pressures. You know what I mean?

[Travis McElroy]

There we go. Thank you.

[Unknown]

It's his social commentary he's doing. How more Pennywise can you be? Can you get. You know.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, sure, sure. So I got a fucking zoom, guys. I'm not kidding. I don't got a show in me today when I know all the incredible fucking road adventures wa.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, do you want to. We can pause the recording. Griffin, you can go have like a two hour sojourn on your electric suitor and then come back and report to us what it was like, okay, yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Let'S take a quick two hour break and then we'll pick it back up.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, fuck you, bro.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't know what happened.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, fuck you guys. Fuck. I fell down 20 times and I fucked up my legs.

[Travis McElroy]

No. Oh, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

Both of them. Fucking a road rash much? I look like Raspberry City over here. Fuck, guys, those things. And get this, you need to pay for them on your fucking phone. Crazy. And I found the two guys, they stabbed me a little bit. Wow, it's been a bad two hours. I'm glad we weren't recording all that.

[Unknown]

Griffin, give me their location and I.

[Travis McElroy]

Will destroy the assailants. Yeah, during the two hours, Justin got that RoboCop upgrade that he's been talking about.

[Griffin McElroy]

Damn.

[Unknown]

Ready to go, punks?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, ready to zoom.

[Unknown]

You bullied my brother off his scooter while I'm balling your dick off your balls.

[Griffin McElroy]

I did try putting one foot on each scooter and then blasting. And it tore my wiener and butt apart into two. Yeah. There's a Yiddish expression of, you can't ride a horse. Two horses with one behind one fanny. And it turns out that that's true for scooters and that the penalty is your penis and butt gets torn right in half.

[Unknown]

I got into a habit of pre show and post show when we would be a little bit of a distance from the venue and our hotel of like grabbing one of those rental scooters, zipping on down the venue, grinding down to the venue, or grinding home from the venue in the dark.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And I had to get honest with myself at a certain point that when I was zooming in the dark past people who had just come to my podcast.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

It was the coolest thing in the world. I had to accept that some part of me is trying to have the funniest death possible.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sure, sure.

[Unknown]

Some part of me is over the fact that this dipshit on a scooter after his podcast in front of people who had just listened to his podcast. Like.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, you don't want it?

[Unknown]

I don't want it.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, not at all.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm scared of it. Huge scared. We are three professional comedian entertainers, and I think that if once, God forbid, we pass the question, howdy, go. Was followed with, you're never gonna fucking believe this.

[Unknown]

You're gonna think I'm fucking with you.

[Travis McElroy]

That's the best case scenario.

[Unknown]

You remember when they released the Whopper 3 in 2060? Well, he choked to death on that.

[Travis McElroy]

You can believe it.

[Unknown]

He Choked to death. I like that.

[Travis McElroy]

Actually singing the Munch Squ theme song while chewing on the Whopper on the Whopper 3.

[Unknown]

Wait, wait. Munch Squad. He stopped doing that podcast 30 years ago. No, he did it. They just stopped recording.

[Griffin McElroy]

He kept doing just that.

[Travis McElroy]

He never stopped.

[Unknown]

Munch Squad continued in perpetuity.

[Travis McElroy]

He was eating the Cyber Whopper. They got him.

[Unknown]

Have you. Trav, did you get down there to try all the how to Train youn Dragon meals yet? Did you enjoy those?

[Travis McElroy]

No, because it's not how to Eat your Dragon just and upset.

[Unknown]

Interesting.

[Griffin McElroy]

It should be.

[Travis McElroy]

No, Justin. I was too busy last weekend to Eat how to Train youn Dragon things. Cause I had to watch. My children are in dance class. And they're wonderful and talented and great. And they were in two separate sessions of recitals.

[Unknown]

Hey, Trav. So's Glen Powell, but you don't hear me bragging about it. You know what I mean?

[Travis McElroy]

You had to go watch Dan Powell, Glen Powell's dancer's item.

[Unknown]

Sorry, Trav. You were trying to counter burn me.

[Travis McElroy]

But you fell on your own feet.

[Unknown]

Sorry.

[Griffin McElroy]

I wasn't.

[Unknown]

Let the burn rest.

[Travis McElroy]

Now, I was at dance recitals basically from 10am to 5:30pm last weekend. There were breaks in between, but what am I gonna do with that time? But it's cool, because the second dance recital ended with pre K through first grade hip hop class of 30 kids. And it was a balm to my soul, Justin. It made it all worth it. These kids, they've turned. They've turned their strife into dance. And I loved it so much, Justin. Oh, God, it was good.

[Unknown]

There is nothing I dislike more than a dance recital. Man. That is weaponized art. You're holding people prisoner to do art at them.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's cool.

[Unknown]

It's rough dancer silence.

[Travis McElroy]

If my kid was on stage the whole time, I'd love. Yeah, my kid's on stage three minutes out of 60. It's exhausting to watch other people's kids do dance. I was so tired by the end of it.

[Griffin McElroy]

My kids don't even do dance. But I could fix dance recitals real quick. You ready?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Now it's competitive. Yes, now it's competitive. Now it's how you think you can dance. Now, kids with the stars and the different classes, Hip hop dance crew, kindergarteners, goes up against the 50s fifth grade ballet team. Obviously they're gonna get fucking rocked. But it's competitive. It is seeded for us. Yeah, we are seeded. And then at the end, they come out and they're like all Right. Kids come out, everyone wins and everyone gets a medal. That said you're a winner.

[Unknown]

You did it.

[Griffin McElroy]

And then as soon as the kids get off the stage, the adults are like, okay, for real. Now it's time to announce the winners. Because you gotta know whose kids rocked. Whose kids had competitive dance in there.

[Travis McElroy]

I do like to. When I watch a dancer's idol, I'll build storylines in my head of behind the scenes drama where I'm trying to guess which of them don't get along with each other. Which one's the teacher's favorite, which one's the one that the teacher's like, I'm just going to put you over here. And that kind of keeps me entertained a little bit behind, you know, like making a behind the scenes drama.

[Unknown]

I will say also that dance recitals are one of the few places that I do get exposed to new music, which I appreciate.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's a shame.

[Unknown]

It's so hard to discover new music these days.

[Travis McElroy]

Huge. Flipping your phone out. Shazam.

[Unknown]

Hey, Shazam this.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm trying to get it. Start it over.

[Unknown]

I didn't shazam it in time. Why are you only doing a mashup of it? I can't shazam half a mashup. Darlene.

[Travis McElroy]

Is this Shawn Mendes?

[Unknown]

I'm gonna report to the RCAA.

[Griffin McElroy]

Charlene Shawn Mendes, ex DeBarge. You're crazy for this one, Bella. How about we do some advice?

[Unknown]

I'm an entomologist, so I'm comfortable around insects and other creepy crawlies in scenarios where there's a bug inside. I'm more than happy to be the go to person who scoops up the critter and humanely relocates them. It feels good to alleviate a potentially stressful situation for human and bug alike. I've just moved into a new neighborhood. I'm thinking about offering my bud catching services to my neighbors. What's a good way to advertise my willingness and enthusiasm for performing these sorts of one off insect rescue missions? That's from Critter Catcher in North Carolina.

[Travis McElroy]

That's wild.

[Unknown]

I mean, you know it's wild.

[Griffin McElroy]

You know it's wild, right?

[Unknown]

We don't have to dwell.

[Travis McElroy]

The problem is, I think, okay, it's wild. But I'm gonna nail down why it's wild. Because there aren't journeymen, like, you know, insect jobs, what's exterminators, right? There's no mid point. So either they're gonna call you constantly for shit cause there's bugs everywhere or no one's gonna contact you about this, and you're 37.

[Unknown]

We know. We said.

[Griffin McElroy]

We just said it was wild.

[Unknown]

Like, it's wild.

[Travis McElroy]

I know.

[Griffin McElroy]

They just covered all that.

[Travis McElroy]

We just told someone it's wild. If they wrote the question in. They don't have the context for why it's wild.

[Unknown]

Yeah, they do. Cause they sent it to us. The wild boys.

[Griffin McElroy]

Travis, we have to assume better of our dear sweet listeners that when they send in a scenario like this, they know how fucked up and twisted it is to have a bespoke a la carte bug relocation service offered to your neighbors is simply not a thing. Now can we play with that? Sure, we can have fun with that.

[Unknown]

Can we willingly eat these sins so they're not exposed to reality? Of course. Yeah. Get them out of your noodle, put them here.

[Travis McElroy]

You need a barter system. What's the thing you don't want to do around your house? Yeah, that. When someone calls you and they're like, yeah, got another moth in here, or whatever. And you're like, cool, I need to, like, turn this hand on. I don't want to do that. Or whatever. Like, what's the thing? What's the exchange rate?

[Unknown]

Here's what I would offer.

[Travis McElroy]

Singular bug relocation.

[Unknown]

Because I don't mind bug relocation. Bugs don't stress me out. So I could do this gig. What I would tell people is, I will come to your home and remove the bug. But when I come to your home, I will have in my possession something that will then be yours.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, cool.

[Unknown]

So this will. This will no longer be my possession. It will be your possession.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And it's your thing to deal with now. And it's.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are there any restrictions on that? Because that's such a fucking bum deal for me.

[Unknown]

The person with the physical lifting physically hefted. It has to be physically lifted.

[Travis McElroy]

Single hand.

[Griffin McElroy]

One hand, dude. Because you're bigger.

[Unknown]

How about this? Size of number of legs. Number of legs of butt.

[Travis McElroy]

This is what I'm saying. There has to be an exchange rate, Justin. Because if I ask you, oh, there's an ant on my counter, and you come get it and you bring me a broken microwave.

[Unknown]

But don't. But that's. You're bringing capitalism into it, Travis.

[Travis McElroy]

No, I'm bringing bartering and exchanging.

[Unknown]

Every bug is the exact same amount of effort to get rid of. Unless you've got one of the craftier ones.

[Travis McElroy]

That's not true. And you know it's so not true. Pink bug is so fucking easy to get a bee individually.

[Unknown]

I'm saying you're being called for individual bugs. There's no one bug that's harder to get than another bug.

[Travis McElroy]

There's a wasp in my house versus a stink bug. Justin, you're telling me that I get the same piece of shit in your.

[Unknown]

House Very fast, very quick sidebar on wasps. Yesterday, I was unrolling a sunbrella. You know. Yes. I'm unrolling it, and a wasp comes out of nowhere and stings me. And I get instantly, like, very angry, but a little nostalgic. Like, oh, man, make me an outdoor kid. But then I forget that part and just get really, really in a lot of pain. A great deal of pain.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And.

[Unknown]

But then I'm getting angrier, too, because I really want to roll this umbrella up, and I'm thinking about how small this guy is and how big I am. So I go up there and I unrolled the. Start to unroll the umbrella, and when I do that, you guys aren't going to believe it. I thought these guys could only do that trick once, but I think that's bees. Because this dude comes back for a.

[Griffin McElroy]

Second helping, he gets a second dish, a juicer.

[Travis McElroy]

Justin, could it be? Rarely is a wasp a loner. Right? A wasp. Rarely. You see a wasp who's like, I'm striking out on my own.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And perhaps Mrs. Wasp.

[Travis McElroy]

This Wasp was rolling, like, nine deep, ten deep, and coming through, it was.

[Griffin McElroy]

The first wasp's lover. Entirely possible at one time.

[Unknown]

Well, he stung me a second fucking time. And my kids started laughing at me because I was crying a little bit.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like, not even when you get stung by a bug or shit on by a bird or anything like that, isn't there a little bit of a part of you that gets excited? Like, I got a story for later. Always, man.

[Unknown]

Not in this moment. And maybe not with wasp. Maybe I've never got stung by wasps before, but I felt nauseous and sad. I felt sad about it. It hurt on my hands so bad. And there was a bump. Oh, man. He stung me twice, and I knew where he was. The second time, I knew exactly where he was.

[Griffin McElroy]

You look at that bump, you think is a part of it still in there? That's what I think. And it freaks me the fuck out.

[Unknown]

I know where all of it is. It's in my vacuum.

[Travis McElroy]

Nice.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Whoa. You got him?

[Unknown]

Yeah, man. I snaked him right out of the air.

[Griffin McElroy]

You ghostbustered him and then you released him some. You released him.

[Unknown]

I lured him in for a third bite. And when he came out for a third bite.

[Travis McElroy]

Salt on your skin.

[Unknown]

You're like, what's up? I guess humanity still has a couple of tricks left in it. You know what I mean?

[Griffin McElroy]

Vacuum. Vacuum is my non offensive. It's my non lethal bug relocation service that I offer.

[Unknown]

Yes, this was the service I provided this gentleman. He had to get away from the kids.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's a small dust buster and then there's a trigger on it that flips the tank open to just launch whatever bug out that you are done with. And then you job done. And then if they're too hard to catch with that or if they're real bastards about it, then I do have a bug assault launcher and that's.

[Travis McElroy]

Wow.

[Griffin McElroy]

If they can't get. If they don't want to get re vacuumed, sucked up and they threaten me and my house or bite or my. The vacuum is the first wave of what we offer here at my house. If a. If a wasp gets in the house and he doesn't want to get vacuumed up. Sorry pal, you're going to catch the smoke.

[Unknown]

I also do not extend any protection to locusts or cicadas. And I'll tell you why right now. We're in a plague. And plagues don't count.

[Travis McElroy]

Dot. My 5 year old who has the soul of like a 90 year old trapped in them, looked at me the other day, just randomly. We were like sitting on the couch and she goes, probably gonna be a lot of cicadas this year. It's another hot one.

[Griffin McElroy]

Damn, dude.

[Travis McElroy]

What? What the fuck? Like I was like, okay, cool. I don't know if that's connected in any way. I don't know if those two things are related to each other. But she said it with such confidence. She said it like an old man saying like, gonna rain today. My knee's acting up.

[Unknown]

She's got the soul of an old man. That make up a bunch of bullshit. Yeah. So deep our wobbie's back. Cause he made up a bunch of shit too.

[Griffin McElroy]

I see wobbie in your daughter's eyes, Travis.

[Travis McElroy]

Our step great grandfather.

[Griffin McElroy]

Our step great.

[Unknown]

When I look in your daughter's eyes, it's like looking into the eyes of.

[Griffin McElroy]

Our step great grandfather who was in.

[Travis McElroy]

No way blood related to us once.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, I fucking hope not.

[Unknown]

Listen, I think the barrier to entry has gotta be so low on this thing. That's the biggest issue is that if it takes me remembering your phone number to get rid of the bug or texting you to get rid of the bug, no way. If There is a button that makes an alarm go off in your house and you can be there. I'm not kidding. 30 seconds, guarantee. Yeah. And the first time it doesn't work, I'm tearing the button off the wall. I'm canceling.

[Griffin McElroy]

But that sucks for you, because now you hear the Alarm. You have 30 seconds to grab some random shit from your house that you're gonna sprint over.

[Travis McElroy]

You're gonna have to schedule times that you're available. You're gonna have to be walking loops in the neighborhood. Just ready, maybe get yourself a truck or some kind of. If you could pneumatically ship yourself there quickly, that might work. Or put the bug in the pneumatic tube. Send it to me. Oh.

[Griffin McElroy]

Create a zipline network that starts on your roof and it goes down to every other house in the neighborhood. Why did I say roof?

[Travis McElroy]

I don't know.

[Griffin McElroy]

Did you hear that?

[Travis McElroy]

And then a second zip line goes down to your basement so you can get back.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes, that's cool. Build a prism of ziplines all throughout your neighborhood.

[Travis McElroy]

This is the problem with zip lines. There are only one way. We gotta figure this out, and that's why we've come here today. How do we get balanced zip lines so I can go back and forth? Think about it.

[Unknown]

That's perpetual motion, right? Is what you're talking about?

[Travis McElroy]

Yes. Put me on.

[Unknown]

You crack that one.

[Travis McElroy]

Put me on an infinite loop of ziplines until I die.

[Unknown]

I was visiting my girlfriend's friend who have a three year old. Upon meeting the child, he immediately asked, are you strong? I'm no athlete or bodybuilder, but my job requires a fair amount of manual work. And I have a reputation for being able to lift heavy things at work and in my personal life. So it's weird that those are two separate reputations. But let's go on. So I.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, I got my work strong reputation and my lifestyle reputation.

[Griffin McElroy]

I.

[Unknown]

They know I'm. They know I'm strong at work and at home. They think I'm pretty strong, but maybe they don't know exactly how strong. But it is a reputation.

[Travis McElroy]

Clark Kent and Superman. You know what I mean? You look at Clark Kent and you're like, I bet that guy could lose.

[Griffin McElroy]

He's fucking cut like a big buck.

[Travis McElroy]

And then you look at Superman, you're like, I know that guy could lift a bus, but Justin, they're the same person. They're the same guy Superman is when he's at work.

[Unknown]

So I said yes. He immediately countered with show me brothers. How do I convince this 3 year old stranger that I'm strong. When there isn't a phone book or a board to chop in half nearby that's supposedly strong. In San Jose, just to drill down on this, my girlfriend's friend has a child. So this is your girlfriend's friend. It's basically a stranger. I mean, to you, right? We can agree this is not a.

[Travis McElroy]

They even said this three year old.

[Unknown]

Stranger, it's three year old stranger.

[Travis McElroy]

I mean, I've learned that children are inherently weak. They're very small, their muscles are dough. And the ability to prove to them that you're stronger than they are is so easy. You can pick up anything large, it doesn't have to be dense or heavy. And if you make this noise when you do it, the kids lose their shit.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, they love it when you yell.

[Unknown]

It's really hard to talk physically picking someone up because their momentum, like everything, all the different stuff that they can do at that point is severely limited because they no longer have the ground to work with. You know what I mean? Like you just kind of lift them up. And I think in terms of strength.

[Travis McElroy]

I mean, yeah, I can't pick myself up. I've tried, you know what I mean? If I try to pick myself up, I don't go anywhere. So if someone think about that, someone else picks me up, they're stronger than I am.

[Unknown]

I used to think about that in class, like when I was younger. I would think if you got so strong that you could lift more than your body weight.

[Travis McElroy]

Uh huh.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Why? Why can't you?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. No, I mean the Lorax figured this out and he's a dumb little puppet monster. I don't understand why I can't fucking lift myself up by the seat of my pants and fly up into the sea.

[Travis McElroy]

Do you guys ever have recurring. I have a recurring dream where in.

[Unknown]

The dream I don't dream.

[Travis McElroy]

I figured out how to jump up and not come back down and just kind of hover around like I'm glitching a video game. And every time in the dream I will say or think, ah, I finally figured out how to do it in real life. And I was so excited. And then I wake up and I'm so disappointed. And it happens maybe twice a week. I have that dream.

[Unknown]

I'm sorry, Travis.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, that I've basically. In the dream, what I'm saying is I've figured how to pick myself up, you know what I mean?

[Unknown]

But you've forgotten by daylight.

[Travis McElroy]

Yep.

[Unknown]

Ain't that the way?

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, you Just gotta pick yourself up by your bootstraps. Have you ever tried that, Justin? Grab your bootstraps, pull up real hard, your ass hanging out, fling yourself in the air.

[Unknown]

That's. Well, Trav. That's why that expression exists, actually. Funny enough, the fact that you can't pull yourself up by your bootstraps. It's exactly why it's used the way it is. Because the idea that you would be able to elevate your own position by pulling on your own bootstraps is so ridiculous. And that's why the idiom is the way it is.

[Travis McElroy]

You know, Justin, it's the same with the world is your oyster. Because the rest of that is go out there and shuck it. Which means it's there if you're willing to work for it. Not it's laid open before you. Anyways, welcome to.

[Unknown]

Let's go.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's go. What's going on?

[Travis McElroy]

Welcome to Brussels.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, guys. What's going on?

[Unknown]

Just learning.

[Travis McElroy]

Just talk about.

[Griffin McElroy]

We are like, don't get me wrong, I love that it's a service we can also provide. Like, we can do joke, but we can also do, like, you know, Roman Mars shit. And that's cool. It's just like. It just.

[Travis McElroy]

You have an stadium. You want to kind of. Yeah.

[Unknown]

What do you want to talk about, Griffin?

[Griffin McElroy]

I would rather do, like, jokes about Mario's balls or like, we fucking do some of those.

[Travis McElroy]

We barely touched on the littlest bit of serious.

[Griffin McElroy]

It felt like five whole.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, no.

[Griffin McElroy]

It felt like five whole Gregorian minutes to me of spent. Of just like. And it's not just. And guys, it wasn't just that you started to drop fun facts. Your whole, like, tone, like, it was like a mask came on and you're like. It's funny you should say, like, you.

[Travis McElroy]

Frasiered out, like, one fact each, Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

But it was the way you said it was like, maximum Frasier. And it was like, what's going. It really, really felt like you guys were stepping through a portal.

[Travis McElroy]

Paramount plus, if you would keep that to your maximum Frasier. My post apocalyptic Frasier reboot. Please. I've told you not to share that with our audience. It's not ready yet.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, please.

[Unknown]

It's so important when a group is trying to show versatility that at least one.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're doing the voice right now. This is your. Like. Do you understand what I'm saying? Like, where's my brother?

[Unknown]

That is sick. I've been outside all the time, and I inhaled everything.

[Travis McElroy]

It's dangerous out.

[Unknown]

I inhaled Everything. Because I'm at the park all the time and I'm just kind of sick. Griffin, I'm not trying to do a voice with you. I just knew that about Bootstraps with Griffin.

[Travis McElroy]

Why?

[Unknown]

Stop bullying me. I would really appreciate it. Why are you being like this?

[Griffin McElroy]

Griffin?

[Travis McElroy]

Why are you being like this?

[Griffin McElroy]

Me right now? Am expressing a desire for us to feel safe and comfortable in this environment. To be ourselves.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

Justin and I. Hold on, Justin.

[Unknown]

And I'm doing expressly the opposite.

[Griffin McElroy]

If that makes me a bad. I'm to trying. Trying to make this a safe place where, you know you don't have to be anything other than exactly what you are.

[Unknown]

Are. You're. Okay. Your submission. Is that the Midnight Society? Your submission, the boisterous, happy guys. That's the true us.

[Travis McElroy]

Anything less than that.

[Unknown]

Anything less than that is a put on.

[Griffin McElroy]

You don't have to be happy. No. You're misrepresenting. You're misrepresenting. We could do a sad joke about Mario's balls. Like, it doesn't have to be happy guys. Like, look around. No, no. You hear Mario's balls got stuck in manhole cover. He got him stuck in manhole cover going down to try to kill Bowser down there.

[Unknown]

See?

[Griffin McElroy]

You could do a sad joke about Mario's balls. It doesn't. I'm not going to force us to. I want you to be what you are. And if that's sad or mad at me, always like, I.

[Travis McElroy]

About Mario's balls. Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

What did I do to Mario's balls? Drove my car over him. But I did. He wanted. I just want. I guess I'm trying to be a good brother.

[Travis McElroy]

And you are.

[Griffin McElroy]

Take me away jail. Take me away. Take me away to jail for trying to be a good fucking brother for once.

[Unknown]

Lift their dad up. Yay. Is their dad around? Pick their dad up.

[Travis McElroy]

Or just call it dad.

[Griffin McElroy]

That is a. If we don't know the answer to that question, I don't know that we.

[Travis McElroy]

Can suggest if the dad's not around, you become the dad. Because dads are inherently strong to their children. Okay. I'm sorry to your girlfriend, by the way, for whatever.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are you strong to your kids?

[Travis McElroy]

Juice?

[Unknown]

No, no, no.

[Travis McElroy]

His kids are.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. I was gonna say, Travis, you can't just drop that. Yeah. By five or six, they crack it by five or six, they know.

[Travis McElroy]

Get in the phone book, which I think still exists. See if you can find a place.

[Griffin McElroy]

Literally said. They literally, literally said.

[Unknown]

Literally said.

[Griffin McElroy]

There isn't a phone book.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay.

[Unknown]

That is they said you could not.

[Travis McElroy]

Have held the parameter up your phone in half. Pull your iPhone out, rip it in half. The child will. One, respect your strength. Two, respect your commitment to the bit. Three, love your commentary on how we've become too connected to our devices in this day.

[Unknown]

Yes, yes, thank you.

[Travis McElroy]

Don't use your real phone though.

[Unknown]

Like break his dad's phone and see what his dad does.

[Griffin McElroy]

See?

[Unknown]

Look, your dad's not doing shit. That's how strong I am.

[Griffin McElroy]

And if the dad's not around, you say, I found your. This is your dad's phone. I found it.

[Unknown]

He tried to hide it. He wouldn't follow him.

[Travis McElroy]

I got it.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's full of messages for you. Anyway.

[Unknown]

It's all the clues you need to find him.

[Griffin McElroy]

I've just denied you. I've just denied you a great cathartic moment. That's strength. The strength is the denial of emotional presence.

[Travis McElroy]

That's power.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's power, baby.

[Travis McElroy]

I was gonna say hire a bunch of extras to compliment your strength, but I actually like this better.

[Unknown]

If I'm hiring extras, I'm gonna teach them how to fake a fight. Yeah, fake. Beat em all up.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, Recreate the whole pu haul fight scene from step by step.

[Unknown]

It's getting expensive.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, yeah. Fuck. Good pull, Griffin. As long as we're touching on this, Griffin, the scene from Family Matters.

[Griffin McElroy]

Another kick ass fight scene.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

No.

[Travis McElroy]

When Urkel is challenged to the rope climbing contest and he builds a jetpack instead. Cause he uses his strongest muscle, his brain, which isn't a muscle, I don't think. And he flies up with the jetpack to get to the top, which I think is cheating. But in the show it's seen as a celebration. But then he busts through the ceiling and ends up, I think, crossing over to step by step.

[Griffin McElroy]

He ends up at step by step.

[Travis McElroy]

Recreate that scene for the three year olds. It's got a blow.

[Griffin McElroy]

So you want this person to basically tgif. This child said, prove to me your strength. And your suggestion is strap on a jetpack, blast through the ceiling. First of all, if I could say the first problem, I mean, okay, let's take this step by step. There's no jetpacks. You die if you.

[Travis McElroy]

No, Urkel had to invent it because he used his brain. He didn't go, okay, let's get to that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Urkel has invented a jetpack. He smashes into the ceiling.

[Travis McElroy]

He'll.

[Griffin McElroy]

He's dead now. There's no fucking way but die. You've left the child alone. Bye, kid. See ya. And then you want them to land.

[Unknown]

Wait. You are solely responsible for that child's care. That should have been established.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm assuming maybe a lot. But then the last step of your plan is to go to Step by Step. And I simply don't know how to go.

[Travis McElroy]

There's an aim for Step by Step. He ends up there, takes Al to the dance.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And then he does the Urkel for everyone. And everyone Step by step ends up doing the Urkel. It was a huge crossover event, Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

I remember.

[Travis McElroy]

If it's not strength, what is?

[Unknown]

But it brought the Tommy Westfall universe to its knees.

[Travis McElroy]

What if just like the TGIF special where Salem had a time traveling hairball and all the different shows including Teen angel and Boy Meets World were shot in different decades for that weekend?

[Unknown]

Or the musty TV event where a New York City blackout crossed over between Caroline and the city and Friends and Seinfeld creating.

[Travis McElroy]

What's the one with Paul Reiser?

[Unknown]

Mad about you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Mad about you.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

It's a four part continuity that ties together.

[Travis McElroy]

TV is so good.

[Griffin McElroy]

TV used to rip. What if in that scene Step by step where Urkel lands with a jetpack, what if instead he. The jetpack malfunctioned in the sky and he fell to his death in the yard of the Step by step family? And then they just had to kind of deal with that. What if you're watching Step by step?

[Travis McElroy]

Ozark, Griffin, it's step by step.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're watching step by step at just a body. Just fucking.

[Travis McElroy]

And now with the COVID up.

[Unknown]

Okay, no, no, no. Still watching an episode Step by Step. Urkel crashes into the yard.

[Griffin McElroy]

Dead, dead.

[Unknown]

And then the Fargo logo pops up. It's like, holy shit. Yes. Season 7. Are you sure?

[Travis McElroy]

It's a soft reboot.

[Unknown]

It's a soft reboot.

[Travis McElroy]

People do spin offs all the time. They don't do spin ins. I'm saying you do a spin in where a show is concurrently happening within another show.

[Griffin McElroy]

Absolutely. How about we go to the Many zone?

[Travis McElroy]

Let's do it.

[Unknown]

It's better.

[Justin McElroy]

It's better.

[Travis McElroy]

You're living in the future. Look around you. Doctors are at your fingertips.

[Unknown]

Wow.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. It used to be you had to go places to find doctors. Now you go get this on your phone to find doctors or your computer or whatever. I don't know how you access the Internet, but. Or as mentioned, impossible. Call it cyberspace.

[Unknown]

Cyberspace.

[Travis McElroy]

If you're accessing cyberspace, good news, you can find a doctor through Zocdoc and not Just a medical doctor, but a dentist doctor or a brain doctor. What do you need, Travis?

[Unknown]

I have it on good authority that the entity's efforts to corrupt the information within cyberspace has not been affected with Zocdoc. They have top of the line protections to protect them from the entity and to assist Ethan Hunt whenever he needs a physician.

[Travis McElroy]

Whoa, dude. So it's not an impossible mission to get the healthcare you need with Zakta.

[Unknown]

Co branding opportunity that no one expected, no one paid for, and no one allowed.

[Griffin McElroy]

And no one will be happy about probably with our client.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, in that three hour movie, I don't think if they stop the entity, it will destroy cyberspace no less than 12 times. Then they stop the entity. Spoilers. And cyberspace is never addressed. The world seems fine.

[Unknown]

It really gives you blue balls. I want to see that bitch go down.

[Travis McElroy]

I want the world songs to cyberspace.

[Unknown]

I want to see cyberspace closed, please. Hey, I guess you know who doesn't want to see that Zoc doc. You know why? Because they're committed to helping you find the best doctors in your area. And they love cyberspace. They love cyberspace. If you've relocated or you're looking to switch a position, whatever the need, stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com mybrother to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Zocdoc.com mybrother Zocdoc.com mybrother I think.

[Travis McElroy]

Another weird thing for the Mission Impossible movies is how the entity never eats. Maybe it's too busy. Maybe it doesn't have time to eat. You know what I mean? That happens to all of us. Where do you even find the time to eat?

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, I get fresh meals sort of delivered to my house, ready to eat from factory.

[Unknown]

Duh. Must be nice.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Weird energy to bring.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm waiting for Ethan to come home so I can make dinner. He's so busy all the time finding the entity. Griffin, I don't even know what ingredients to buy. I don't know how to make it. I don't.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, you don't have to worry. Just. You sound ridiculous right now. Because Factor's chef crafted meals are ready to eat in just two minutes. Taking the hassle out of eating well, so you can get right back to wearing a big suit that inflates to make you look bigger and change the way your face and head looks. Or chewing a piece of gum that lets you turn invisible like some sort of chameleon. Yeah, you can get right back to doing that. Shooting a gun that has a little. It shoots a little computer out and there's a little guy that comes out of the computer as a hologram. Yeah. So all that shit comes in your first Factor box. All of this incredible Mission to impossible technology and also delicious chef crafted meals. And these.

[Travis McElroy]

Only one of those things is true, and we're not gonna tell you which one.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, it will take you a while to pick from the delicious weekly menu options. 45 different weekly menu options. There may very well be mission impossible technology on there, but you're also gonna get like good nutritious breakfast and on the go lunches and premium dinners.

[Travis McElroy]

They rain so fast.

[Griffin McElroy]

Whatever. What?

[Unknown]

They're ready so fast.

[Griffin McElroy]

They're ready so fast.

[Travis McElroy]

And this offer won't self destruct when we're done reading it?

[Griffin McElroy]

No. Yeah. I don't even know how that would. What you said would happen.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't know. Your phone's not gonna blow up an impossible franchise either, but they're always.

[Griffin McElroy]

It says here in the Factor ad copy, don't even joke about how their phone might blow up because of this commercial.

[Unknown]

Fuck yeah. Please, please. We ask again.

[Griffin McElroy]

Get [e-mail] Brother 50 off and use code BROTHER50OFF to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. That's code [e-mail] brother50OFF for 50% off plus free shipping. Factormeals.com Brother 50 off hi, everybody, it's.

[Travis McElroy]

Ellen Weatherford and Christian Weatherford.

[Griffin McElroy]

People say not to judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree.

[Travis McElroy]

But we can judge a snake by its ability to fly or a spider by its ability to dive or a.

[Griffin McElroy]

Dung beetle by its ability to navigate with the starlight of the Milky Way galaxy.

[Travis McElroy]

On just the zoo of us, we rate our favorite animals out of 10 in the categories of physical effectiveness, behavioral ingenuity and of course, aesthetics.

[Griffin McElroy]

Guest experts like biologists, ecologists, musicians, comedians and more join us to share their unique insights into the animal kingdom.

[Travis McElroy]

Listen with the whole family on maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Griffin McElroy]

The Wizards answer. Eight by eight, the Conclaves call to demonstrate their arcane gift, their single spell. They number 64. Until a conflagration 63 and 62, they soon shall be as one.

[Unknown]

One by one, the wizards die.

[Griffin McElroy]

Till one remains to rain on high. Join us for Taz Royale, an Oops All Wizards Battle Royale season of the Adventure Zone every other Thursday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. All right.

[Unknown]

I wanna merge Squ. I want too much Squad.

[Griffin McElroy]

Dude, you're eating. And you left no proms.

[Unknown]

Welcome to Munch Squad. It's a podcast with the podcast. Profiling, latest and greatest and brand eating. I'm just inspired, guys. I've been directing.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, clearly.

[Unknown]

This show. The Prom. At the theater. At the Ritter Park Camp.

[Griffin McElroy]

At theater.

[Unknown]

You can get [e-mail] h a r t prom.com. it's this. How dare you promote art this weekend, not next weekend. You missed it last weekend. I wish you'd come. But this weekend you can come on out.

[Travis McElroy]

Unless you're going to be in Columbus with us.

[Unknown]

Unless you're going to be in Columbus. Listen, love folks. Do both.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, it's not that far. What?

[Unknown]

Four hours, no problems. Three nights. You can make it all happen. Our shows, two proms, three. Figure it out. Get committed or get out of the way and let somebody else. A real fan.

[Travis McElroy]

Whoa.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Hot. Super hostile. Yeah, Absolutely super hostile.

[Travis McElroy]

That's how they sell tickets on Broadway, Griffin. They stand outside and they yell like, I thought you were a real fan. And you're like, what show is this? And you're like, what's bought a mattress? And they're like, I like Once Upon a Mattress. And like, do you. Cause you're not here.

[Unknown]

You're about to be Once upon in a coffin forever.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm gonna fucking kill you if you don't come see Once Upon a Mattress.

[Travis McElroy]

Come see Betelgeuse or you'll learn a.

[Unknown]

Thing or two about being dead. For real?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Cause I'll make you dead meat if you don't come to Beetlejuice with these.

[Travis McElroy]

Two hands and this knife.

[Unknown]

You're in town. You're in trouble. You don't come to see our play.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm gonna spill your Beetlejuice. By which I mean the blood inside you if you don't come see Beetlejuice.

[Unknown]

Cats have nine lives, but your stupid ass doesn't.

[Travis McElroy]

So come see cats. Oh, I'm glad that was about cats or I would have been really lost.

[Unknown]

Okay, listen. Taco Bell has debuted Crispy Chicken tacos and burritos.

[Travis McElroy]

They have what?

[Unknown]

They have. They have debuted. You know what I'm saying? Just having some fun. Those are available today, I think if I'm doing the math correctly, Taco Bell is unleashing a full flavored and full size, yet just as craveable version of Crispy Chicken in its boldest move yet.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, that's a big That's a big claim.

[Unknown]

Hako Bell saying their boldest move yet. Now the.

[Travis McElroy]

When they say full flavor, was there an.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Was there a different option that they considered where they're like, they did shitty.

[Griffin McElroy]

Chicken nuggets for a minute.

[Travis McElroy]

We're gonna. We're gonna expand the chicken, but not the flavor part, just the source normal.

[Unknown]

Yeah, the flavor's perfect. Starting June 17, the brand is loading its crispy chicken strips into its most iconic formats with the debut of crispy chicken tacos and burritos, available nationwide for a limited time.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, Justin, can I stop you for a second?

[Unknown]

You have?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. I think it's real bold and brassy of these Taco Bell PR people to act like, hey, we had this protein based thing and you're never gonna believe what we thought of doing with it. We put it in a taco like that that is supposed to blow my brain out of the water or whatever.

[Unknown]

100%. And I think you can. If there is a theme of this press release, I do believe it is that hubris, that toxic hubris where they have discovered that people like to buy crispy chicken and they've gotten what we in West Virginia might call above their raisin. You know what I mean? They've forgotten where they came from and now they're thinking like their shit don't stink. Listen to this. This.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, they made a McDonald's snack wrap. Do you want a snack trophy?

[Unknown]

$8 for it? I bet you do. Quote. No, I'm not to the quote yet. I'm still trying to f finish this. It's the same signature recipe fans loved in the sellout nuggets. And the latest step in what's quickly becoming a full on crispy chicken era for Taco Bell.

[Travis McElroy]

They're trying to restart the wars.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's so irresponsible. I don't think there's a person alive who. It's too fresh. We just lived through it. I think there's a weariness, and I don't think Taco Bell's gonna get it.

[Travis McElroy]

We don't have the resources. I'm not going back to rationing.

[Unknown]

Are you kidding me? Tell me if this is someone who is being cautious of their words and deeds. Quote. Crispy chicken is having a moment, but our fans have made it a movement, said Taylor Montgomery, chief marketing officer at Taco Bell. Bold, good. Bold.

[Griffin McElroy]

So we didn't identify it. Just like Hamilton. Just like Hamilton.

[Unknown]

Just like Hamilton.

[Griffin McElroy]

So we that weird song in the middle of Hamilton where he does a whole thing about crispy chicken. Yeah, I thought was cool. My favorite button.

[Travis McElroy]

And it's weird because it starts and it's like, if you could pull up Mr. Burr, it'll be ready in like 10 minutes. And he's like, I'm gonna wait for it. And it's like, yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

He thinks about how he's gonna wait for you.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. And he's gonna wait for it.

[Unknown]

So we decided to bring out our sellout nuggets recipe to the formats that defined our brand. Because true innovation means elevating the icons, not replacing them.

[Travis McElroy]

It's not.

[Unknown]

But we're not like everything they were making and put it on tacos, Travis. We're not like every other chicken spot out there. We're doing crispy chicken the only way we know how. Full of flavor and unmistakably Taco Bell.

[Travis McElroy]

It's weird that we didn't start with.

[Unknown]

Tacos and work our way backward. It's our core competency. They needed to see if it was good enough to put in a taco, and then they did it. After the breakout success of crispy chicken nuggets, these motherfuckers you.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's chicken nuggets.

[Unknown]

If you put it on the menu.

[Travis McElroy]

Everybody will buy it.

[Unknown]

You know what? There's a hot trend. There's a hot trend at every motherfucking restaurant in the Walt Disney World resort. And it's called serving chicken nuggets because they will be purchased. Fuck. The next move was obvious. Take the craveable tortilla coated crunch fans love and pack it in the formats that made Taco Bell famous. Tacos and burritos. At the center is the new crispy chicken strip. All white meat chicken marinated in fan favorite zesty jalapeno buttermilk flavor and breaded with crispy tortilla chips. The inclusion of the word flavor there sucks.

[Griffin McElroy]

They keep insisting that there's flavor.

[Unknown]

Then it's loaded into bold builds with layers of texture. Familiar favorites like shredded cheddar and pico de gallo.

[Travis McElroy]

Whoa. They put cheese on it.

[Unknown]

They put cheese on it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Stretch was moving closer to the light of christ in the McDonald's snack wrap. That's just what you're making, guys. I promise.

[Unknown]

From Liz Master.

[Travis McElroy]

And there's just a wisp of lettuce on there, as if we almost forgot to include lettuce.

[Unknown]

Softest lettuce.

[Griffin McElroy]

The most transparent lettuce you've ever seen.

[Travis McElroy]

Is the perimeter of the lettuce brown? Why, of course it is.

[Unknown]

It's the kind of lettuce that Makes you ask, is that part of the wrapper?

[Travis McElroy]

Mm. It looks like a child science experiment where they soaked it in food coloring and the food coloring was brown.

[Unknown]

The craving for crispy chicken is growing every single day. And our fans have told us loud and clear, give us more or we'll find, continue to innovate, and now have delivered, said Liz Matthews, Taco Bell's global Chief food innovation Officer's hardest job on the planet.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Let's hear from our frontline workers.

[Griffin McElroy]

Give it up, Liz.

[Unknown]

From our viral crispy chicken nuggets to redesigning it, you can't. I think we gotta start being a bit more careful about what we call viral and what we call popular because I feel like for virality to be achieved, the nuggets have to in some way be self replicating. Right. There has to be some amount of the nuggets that are just perpetuating themselves.

[Travis McElroy]

I would also like to avoid referring to anything edible as the fire.

[Unknown]

Yeah. The obsession with perfecting the crispy chicken recipe, the sauce, the. They're still throwing a parade for themselves for adding chicken nuggets to the menu.

[Travis McElroy]

I also like the imagery of the obsession of like, listen, we as a company didn't want to do this, but Todd would not let it go.

[Griffin McElroy]

But you fucking free, you fucking sickos. And your fan favorite jalapeno flavorings.

[Travis McElroy]

We didn't want to do it.

[Griffin McElroy]

We hate it.

[Unknown]

We hate selling these things.

[Griffin McElroy]

We hate doing this. We are not called Chicken Bell.

[Unknown]

The obsession runs so deep, Taco Bell couldn't pick just one person to help launch it. Because if crispy chicken nuggets proved anything.

[Travis McElroy]

It'S the existence of God.

[Unknown]

It's that everyone's into crispy chicken done the Taco Bell way.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, okay.

[Unknown]

So a full on crispy chicken cameo casting call was unleashed, tapping unexpected icons and devoted fans from every corner of culture to taste the crispy bold greatness for themselves.

[Travis McElroy]

Is Young Gravy in the mix? Because Young Gravy's always in the mix. I.

[Unknown]

No. His absence is noted and suspicious. I will say, Travis Young Gravy, where art thou? That's what I say.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, they probably had to turn him away. It was opt out for Young Gravy.

[Unknown]

We have comedic nods from Kate Flannery to surprise voices like GATA and expert tastemakers like Christian Petrone. A wide array of cameos is all about this shared obsession, because when the chicken hits this hard, everyone's got something to say. I don't know.

[Griffin McElroy]

So are we gonna get to see those Taco Bells.

[Unknown]

Wouldn't that be something? Wouldn't that be something? They talk about them in here, but I don't know if we can find them. Maybe.

[Travis McElroy]

I just got back from summer vacation, lying to their friends about the cool for sure.

[Griffin McElroy]

Met young Gravy. It was crazy, man.

[Unknown]

Film the coolest tick tocks about this. He loved it. He thought it was good. He did a cameo, but he said.

[Travis McElroy]

I wasn't allowed to share them with you because you don't deserve them.

[Griffin McElroy]

We got on cameo and we just went nuts, gang. Anyway, enjoy the chicken.

[Unknown]

Anyway, yeah, so that's the chicken. They're doing chicken tacos, if you can believe it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Believe it or not, I housed so many of those McDonald's snack wraps. It was my favorite sort of go to guy. And I think they stopped doing.

[Unknown]

He's a great guy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think they stopped doing them in like 1999 perhaps. And so I'm excited that they. Wait a minute.

[Unknown]

No. You made them come back just now.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, no, no. McDonald's snack wraps are coming back on July 10th.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

What the fuck's going on, man?

[Unknown]

What?

[Griffin McElroy]

How can there be. How can we go from zero snack wrap offerings in the fast food marketplace to now the big fucking dog is coming right back as Taco Bell steps into its territory.

[Unknown]

Here is my. Where I'm at currently is that there is not so much food trends as there are food extras. So everybody get pumped for chicken because we have lots of chicken. We just ended up with a lot of chicken as a nation.

[Travis McElroy]

That's what I think. Eggs are too expensive to buy and the damn things keep turning into birds. Damn it.

[Unknown]

There's some logic that makes sense in there, Travis. I'm searching for eggs.

[Travis McElroy]

Nobody bought these eggs at the supermarkets full of birds. Again, call McDonald's.

[Unknown]

We bought too many eggs. You want to do another question? Yes. Recently I requested a book through my library's purchase request form. You can do so much with your local library now.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's audiobook free. They're online.

[Unknown]

Libby, check out your local library. A lot of great folks there. They love books and they love you.

[Travis McElroy]

Recently I requested a bunch of periodicals. Microfilsh. I don't know, it's film or fish. So I went with both in one word.

[Griffin McElroy]

You really think split the upright.

[Unknown]

Within a day, I got a personalized email, responded to my quest, and said that my book would be in by the end of the week, Brother. As much to my chagrin, by the time I made my way to checking out the book, someone else had Gotten there. So now I'm on the hold list. Funny enough, I feel me and this person could maybe be friends, given their interest and quickness to seize the specific book, and we'd have a good conversation starter. My question is, how can I get library staff to give me this potential foe turned into a friend's email? That's from Tomeless in Tampa. I. You know what I realized?

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm making a. I'm making a. Oh, yeah.

[Unknown]

But this is a second question like this, and I'm realizing what's happening here. We have entered. We've entered the A's. The. The. The. The era of our advice giving, where, like, now people come to us. It's like an ocean's movie where there's, like, one old guy that used to crack this certain kind of safe, and they're like, listen, I got this thing. And he's like, can't be done.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

You know what I mean? Like, this is the kind of question we get now. They want us to be like, can't be done. And then we walk out and they're like, wait, it's against this guy you hate? And I'll be like, how much money do you have? That's where we're at.

[Travis McElroy]

You know what I mean?

[Griffin McElroy]

And maybe he died. And maybe he dies at some point in the movie. And you're like, it's poignant that it's for him.

[Unknown]

Well, but it is very much like, hey, brothers, I wanna meet a stranger based on a book we both like. And I have no way of doing it. And I have to convince other people to help me do it. They want us to say, happy Dunbar. Waste somebody else's time, young buck.

[Travis McElroy]

I got it. You ready for this? It's a term that I have been using lately to describe, like, Teresa and I read different books and then talk about them to each other. And I refer to it as an asynchronous book club. You can do an asynchronous book club here where the librarian is going to become your, like, dead drop, right? Where you're like, give them this note. It's anonymous, and I want an anonymous response about this. Right? And we're gonna.

[Unknown]

Trev, I love this so much. Wait, before you even detail this idea, I'd love to kind of play it out a little bit. So I'll be the librarian and you be the person trying to get the email. Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

And I'll just be someone standing around.

[Unknown]

All right. And listening, like, just hearing it. And I really want to try. Let's Just really buy in. Okay? I don't want to. Let's really try.

[Griffin McElroy]

Go ahead, read my book.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, the book. The book that I ordered. Sorry. Yeah, of course, the book that I ordered and somebody, like, checked it out.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're being too loud.

[Unknown]

Okay, great.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm in a really good part of my book right now.

[Travis McElroy]

I'll cut my. I'll cut my hands around the librarian's ears. You're still going, so. I'd love to. I'd love to contact them. Only you can hear me now, librarian, because I'm covering my hands around your ears. I'd love to contact them if you could deliver them this anonymous letter.

[Unknown]

No.

[Travis McElroy]

Now, here's the problem here, Justin. I feel like what you're failing to keep in mind is that someone doesn't become a librarian because they're not interested in playing out storylines because they don't want to see where the story goes. I'm saying that I think.

[Unknown]

Ah, damn it. You're right. Because I work at the library. Try again. Okay, just do the last few words.

[Travis McElroy]

I was wondering if you could, like, give this anonymous letter to them, because I'd love to talk to them about this book.

[Unknown]

You've intrigued me. I do love a classic tale of missed connections. Let me see. I'm sorry, Jeremy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Why'd you just blow all that fucking dust on me, dude?

[Unknown]

Forgive me, Jeremy. Your asthma, I've forgotten again, apologies. So you wish to contact Daniel Peterson?

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, his name was Daniel Peterson. Okay, thank you.

[Unknown]

I'll be able to tell you.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, Sven, are you a different. Can you give out another customer's name?

[Griffin McElroy]

Sorry, Trev, I gotta know. Are you a different guy right now?

[Travis McElroy]

I'm a different name now. I'm the boss of the library.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Unknown]

All right. Say you're. Gimme my cue again.

[Griffin McElroy]

Make the voice, like, way lower. Cause I'm gonna get it.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, Sven, did you just give out another library patron's name?

[Unknown]

No, Father.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, I heard you said Daniel Peterson.

[Unknown]

No, Father. That was a mis. You've misheard again, Father. You've forgotten your daily nap.

[Travis McElroy]

I am pretty tired, Father.

[Unknown]

Have you been. Have you been taking care of your mind, Father? It sounds like you're slipping in your old age.

[Travis McElroy]

I've been taking my ginkgo bilobo.

[Unknown]

Jeremy, you hear this, right? You're my witness, Father. Slipping.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Where's the Bible section?

[Unknown]

Thank you so much for. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast, which is still called My Brother, My Brother and Me, despite it not being great for SEO. Yeah, we hope you enjoyed yourself.

[Travis McElroy]

Time for a rebrand. Hey everybody. As mentioned, we're going to be in Columbus this weekend. You should come see us. We're doing My Brother, My Brother and Me and Adventure Zone and we'll be at events of the Origins Game Fair. If you're coming to a live show and you want to get a question answered or a fear read aloud, you can email it to nbmbamaximumfun.org and put Columbus in the subject line and announcement. The Dadlands Anaheim Taz show with Brennan was originally supposed to be on Friday, July 11, but it's been moved to Saturday, July 12. And the My Brother, My Brother and Me live show that was scheduled for the 12th will now be on the 11th. We apologize for that, which sucks.

[Griffin McElroy]

We're very sorry that we have had to do that. There was a scheduling mishap, so previously purchased tickets will be valid for the new date if you're unable to attend. Refunds are available up to 14 days before the show at the point of purchase.

[Travis McElroy]

Tickets for all the shows for the rest of the year are on sale now. You can get all the information at ticket links at bit ly McElroytours we.

[Griffin McElroy]

Got some new merch in the merch store, including a Faster Than Fear migi Stan, Dan, a lot of just absolutely off the wall shit present in the.

[Travis McElroy]

Merch store and 10% of all merch rocks this month will be donated to the Transgender Law Center. Go check out all of that stuff Griffin just mentioned and [e-mail] and thanks.

[Griffin McElroy]

To Montaigne for the USART theme song my Life Is Better with youh. Do we have a fear?

[Travis McElroy]

We do, we do. Justin, do you want to read it?

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh wow.

[Unknown]

I'd be happy to travel.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Thank you so much. This year I want to be faster than my fear that an extra lizard will appear in my lizard enclosure. My name is Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm Travis McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Griffin McElroy.

[Unknown]

This has been My brother, My brother, me kiss your dad square on the lips.

[Justin McElroy]

It'S better, it's better with you it's better my life it's better, it's better with you Cause it's true you are it's better, it's better with two.

[Unknown]

My life.

[Justin McElroy]

It'S better with you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Maximum Fun. A worker owned network of artist owned.

[Unknown]

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