MBMBaM 770: Hy-paw-thesis

Summary

Podcast Summary: My Brother, My Brother And Me (MBMBaM) Episode 770: "Hy-paw-thesis"

Release Date: July 7, 2025

Hosts: Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy

---

1. Griffin's Unexpected Invitation to "Squid Game" [00:21–03:28]

The episode kicks off with Griffin sharing exciting news: he has been selected to participate in the next installment of "Squid Game." His announcement lays the foundation for a series of humorous speculations about what his role might entail.

• Griffin McElroy [00:21]: “Things are about to turn around for three of us in a big major way.”
• Griffin McElroy [02:33]: “Deadly cornhole. I have heard they did that last squid game so I doubt they're gonna bring it back for another one.”

The brothers humorously discuss the concept of "Squid Game," imagining absurd and deadly versions of backyard games like cornhole and lawn darts.

2. The Role of a "Squid Game" Den Mom [02:46–04:43]

Justin reveals his envisioned role as a den mom within the "Squid Game" universe, balancing grim responsibilities with playful rewards for participants.

• Justin McElroy [02:46]: “I'm gonna be in the. I'm going to do the next squid game.”
• Justin McElroy [03:16]: “Little Debbie is the only one we got in stock. They're so good.”

Griffin and Travis contribute to the banter by speculating about the logistics of such a role, including the absurdity of providing juice boxes and banana-flavored treats to participants.

3. Navigating "Squid Game" Scenarios with Friends [04:46–05:33]

The conversation shifts to the dynamics of friendships in high-stakes environments, poking fun at the idea of entrusting a friend like Juan with critical game-related tasks.

• Travis McElroy [04:56]: “I gave it to Juan.”
• Justin McElroy [05:12]: “I'm not going to do that. If the games are like, you got to kill someone. I'll be like, pass.”

The brothers explore the humorous and dark possibilities of alliances and betrayals within the fictional game setting.

4. Fashion Faux Pas: Justin's Japanese-Style Jacket [08:12–15:12]

A significant portion of the episode delves into Justin's attempt to showcase his Japanese-style jacket, sparking a lively debate about style, confidence, and personal expression.

• Justin McElroy [08:14]: “What does he think? Vibe.”
• Griffin McElroy [12:17]: “I'm thinking, yeah, right, buster, you just want.”

Travis and Griffin critique the jacket's aesthetics, blending witty observations with playful ribbing. The discussion emphasizes the challenges of embracing bold fashion choices and the importance of owning one's style.

• Justin McElroy [12:54]: “It's 100% technical polyester.”
• Travis McElroy [12:50]: “What material is this that we're talking about?”

This segment highlights the brothers' signature humor, juxtaposing genuine curiosity with sarcastic commentary.

5. Listener Question: A Lion Scientist at the Zoo [15:12–22:23]

Justin introduces a listener's hypothetical scenario about working as a lion scientist at a zoo, leading to an improvisational exploration of what that role might entail.

• Listener Question [15:12]: “I work at the zoo as a lion scientist.”
• Griffin McElroy [16:17]: “Where does gazelle go after eat? My hypothesis, Sharks.”

The brothers playfully dissect the absurdity of a lion engaging in scientific research, blending educational tidbits with comedic exaggeration. This segment showcases their ability to turn simple questions into entertaining discussions.

6. Mastering the Art of Museum Navigation [22:23–27:40]

The conversation transitions to strategies for appreciating art in museums without getting overwhelmed, offering humorous tips on maintaining movement and avoiding social awkwardness.

• Justin McElroy [25:54]: “If you're an awkward person who's thinking too much about this at a museum, you gotta practice my method.”
• Justin McElroy [26:07]: “Your feet slow down, but now your head's moving.”

Travis and Griffin expand on Justin's advice, suggesting unconventional ways to engage with art displays while managing the anxiety of lingering too long on a single piece. The brothers' inventive techniques are both practical and comically exaggerated.

7. Creative Storytelling and Imaginative Scenarios [27:44–41:07]

Throughout the episode, the McElroy brothers engage in creative storytelling, blending fictional narratives with pop culture references to craft amusing and surreal scenarios.

• Griffin McElroy [28:12]: “He's gonna be kick ass shows.”
• Justin McElroy [40:29]: “It can be.”

These segments, while brief, demonstrate the hosts' flair for weaving intricate and humorous tales that entertain and engage listeners, maintaining the podcast's lively and spontaneous atmosphere.

Conclusion

Episode 770 of MBMBaM, titled "Hy-paw-thesis," serves up a generous portion of the McElroy brothers' trademark humor, blending fictional "Squid Game" scenarios with playful debates on fashion and imaginative listener questions. Highlighting their quick wit and chemistry, Justin, Travis, and Griffin navigate through absurd topics with ease, ensuring an engaging and entertaining listening experience for both regular fans and newcomers alike.

Notable Quotes:

• Griffin McElroy [00:21]: “Things are about to turn around for three of us in a big major way.”
• Justin McElroy [02:46]: “Little Debbie is the only one we got in stock. They're so good.”
• Justin McElroy [12:54]: “It's 100% technical polyester.”
• Justin McElroy [25:54]: “If you're an awkward person who's thinking too much about this at a museum, you gotta practice my method.”

Timestamp Highlights:

• [00:21] Griffin announces his selection for "Squid Game."
• [02:46] Justin explains his role as a den mom in "Squid Game."
• [12:54] Discussion on the materials of Justin's jacket.
• [15:12] Introduction of the lion scientist listener question.
• [25:54] Justin shares his method for navigating museums.

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This summary encapsulates the key discussions and humorous exchanges from MBMBaM Episode 770, providing a comprehensive overview for those who haven't listened to the episode.

Transcript

[Griffin McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up you cool baby?

[Travis McElroy]

It's the start of something beautiful A.

[Justin McElroy]

Small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into.

[Travis McElroy]

A precious friends I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life, it feels like it's better it's better with you My life, it's better it's better with you this is who you are it's better it's better with two what's better with you?

[Justin McElroy]

Hey everybody, welcome. My brother, my brother me advice show for the modern era. I'm the oldest brother around these parts. Justin McElroy.

[Unknown]

What up trav nation? It's me, your middle is brother Travis River McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

What's up?

[Griffin McElroy]

It's Griffin. Great news, guys.

[Justin McElroy]

Guess what dudes?

[Griffin McElroy]

I got great news. Things are about to turn around. Things are going to turn around for three of us in a big major way.

[Unknown]

Oh, I've been waiting for him to turn around.

[Griffin McElroy]

I got my letter yesterday in the mail. I got picked for the next squid game.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, Griffin, they got.

[Griffin McElroy]

They're going to get. I'm going to be in the. I'm going to do the next squid game.

[Unknown]

I will say I only know a little bit about the franchise. I didn't know that they communicated via the US Postal Service.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I was surprised too. I think that's how they do it in the sort of North American branch because no one's really checking that shit anyway.

[Unknown]

I just don't like when they adapt it, you know what I mean? The American Squid game is going to be so weird comparatively.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, for sure, for sure, for sure. The games I will be a little bit more familiar with probably these deadly backyard games, right?

[Unknown]

Like deadly cornhole and stuff like that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Deadly cornhole. I have heard they did that last squid game so I doubt they're gonna bring it back for another one. But it was like cornhole. But the cornhole board had big landmine in it.

[Unknown]

Oh man.

[Griffin McElroy]

So if you hit it it blow. It blew up the other team and they died.

[Unknown]

Maybe regular lawn darts.

[Griffin McElroy]

Regular. It's just called fast lawn darts. That was again. That was last season. They got you with that, so probably no repeats there.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm gonna Be working this season, Griffin, as a den mom on squid game. In the squid game for like I'm gonna be. They'll probably put me in a different region, but what's that mean?

[Griffin McElroy]

What do you do?

[Justin McElroy]

So basically I' who after the squid game, if you die, I get your stuff and I put it in a trash bag and toss it out of the trash chute. And if you don't die, I give you a juice box and a banana flavored Little Debbie.

[Unknown]

Oh, cool.

[Griffin McElroy]

A banana flavored Little Debbie banana cake.

[Justin McElroy]

Little Debbie is the only one we got in stock.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

They're so good. Yeah, you get. It's like a moon pie, but worse.

[Unknown]

Well, I'll see if I can work on that. Justin, I got hired to do craft services.

[Justin McElroy]

That's cool.

[Unknown]

For the competition.

[Griffin McElroy]

I need to be very clear that.

[Unknown]

I'm not for the competition.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, good. I didn't. I guess they do feed em. You do gotta feed em, I guess.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Hi.

[Unknown]

Can I tell you I'm freaking out though cause I kinda committed to catering for like 600 people. I told em I could do it and they said, you have like a company and stuff. And I said, yeah, I don't see.

[Griffin McElroy]

That'S funny you said that. Cause my letter said, bring your food from home. They said, bring a bag lunch. And I said, won't I be there for six days? And they were like, yeah, but maybe you're not going to be around for. Let's be honest, man, you're not going to be able to have one bag lunch.

[Unknown]

They do the first game, first thing on the first day, and then you end up with twice as many lunches as there are people.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right.

[Unknown]

And then you just keep having it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Then it filters down. You're right, Trav.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, Griffin. You just have to hope that there will be an understanding amongst all the participants that you will be killed later at some point. And it is not an urgent thing they need to be killed in.

[Griffin McElroy]

Keep me around as a special little snack. You know what I mean?

[Justin McElroy]

Like something. Yeah.

[Unknown]

It's always nice to know when you're in a squid game scenario. And God knows the three of us have been there too many times.

[Justin McElroy]

It's not.

[Griffin McElroy]

I've never been in a squid game.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, really?

[Griffin McElroy]

My first squid game. Yeah. Have you been to squid game?

[Unknown]

Oh, a couple. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Shit, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

How come you don't have like a billion billion dollars?

[Unknown]

I gave it away.

[Justin McElroy]

That's in Juan. Yeah, okay.

[Unknown]

I gave it to Juan.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

My friend Juan.

[Justin McElroy]

He has It.

[Unknown]

And one's pocket is in one's pocket. It was all in crypto.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Which was the mistake I made.

[Griffin McElroy]

You gave your friend Juan a flash drive.

[Unknown]

Yeah. But it's important that you pick somebody where you're like, I don't like them. Nobody does. And so when we get to the inevitable scenario where they're like, you have to kill somebody to move on to the next one, we've kept him around for that.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm not going to do that. If the games are like, you got to kill someone. I'll be like, pass. Because they let you pass one game. If there's a game they say, like.

[Unknown]

Man, I wish I had known that, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

They're like, today we're playing four square, but instead of the ball, we're gonna use a gun. And you bounce the gun on the ground, and then you have to use it and hurt someone. I would say pass on the ground.

[Unknown]

Can I tell you the worst part about being on a squid game? Griffin, you have this to dread. The waivers. Oh, my God, you guys signed so many waivers.

[Justin McElroy]

Wafers, Those little cookies.

[Unknown]

No, that's great. That's why they brought me in to do craft services, because I know the recipe for the wafer I got.

[Justin McElroy]

I. You know what, guys? Kidding aside, those little wafers, the.

[Griffin McElroy]

The.

[Justin McElroy]

Where you got to etch those out with a needle.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

They're. They're the same. They're seafoam candy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Wait, do I have to make those?

[Justin McElroy]

Well, they're one of my favorite candies. And my problem is I'm such a little stinker.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, for sure.

[Justin McElroy]

That I'd get in there and start trying to get out my umbrella or my diamond or whatever. And I think, you know, like, I get hungry, I'd start with the scraps. Yeah. I would break off parts and be like.

[Griffin McElroy]

In the squid game they did for Netflix, where they filmed one of them.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, that was great.

[Griffin McElroy]

They put it on Netflix.

[Unknown]

A bold choice.

[Justin McElroy]

No problems. They got exactly the right lesson from putting that on their network.

[Griffin McElroy]

The guy. Absolutely. Mr. Beast, at least took. Had a great takeaway from that series. The guy who solved it, the hero licks the back of it to weaken the structure of it so he can carve it out. But I'm thinking, yeah, right, buster, you just want. You wanted to lick some of that foam. I can tell.

[Justin McElroy]

So, sorry. When you said the squid games they filmed for Netflix.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes. You meant of the mini squid game.

[Justin McElroy]

They do. Yeah, the squid game. Not the squid game.

[Griffin McElroy]

They recorded one of them a few years back and they put it up on Netflix, called it squid games.

[Unknown]

Sorry.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Unknown]

You guys been saying squid games? Because I thought you were saying, like, Disney's kid games where you went and you competed. Yeah, I was doing, like, wild and.

[Justin McElroy]

Crazy kids and I was. Squid games that they filmed was the one that they did with act actual people for real stakes. That's what I thought you meant because.

[Griffin McElroy]

They actually did the squid game. I'm so sorry. Yes. They did a weird knockoff where I guess the. Where the Real world guys were like. And now we're doing squid game, and it's like, they're already doing squid Game. Dude, you don't need to also do squid game. They just recorded a squid game.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. Do you like your chances?

[Griffin McElroy]

No, Absolutely not. Law of large numbers. There's like 500 of these fucking guys that I'm going up against. I do not like my chances. The only game I was ever good at at the schoolyard was Foursquare. I don't mean to brag them on. That's not. That doesn't really count.

[Justin McElroy]

You don't think that I ever did was cookie crunching. And that's hard for me because I feel like my one skill is not going to be that good because I want to see that wafer and I'll.

[Griffin McElroy]

Think, yeah, for sure.

[Justin McElroy]

Delicious. I don't think. I'm. I'm. Let's talk. I don't want to.

[Griffin McElroy]

You don't want to? I don't want to do Squiggy.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm second guessing the shirt. That's what I. Oh, man.

[Unknown]

No, the shirt.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't know, man. I feel like I look like Beetlejuice got a wish and became a real boy.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, you look like Beetlejuice coming out of the jungle mists.

[Unknown]

I don't think. I didn't like Beetlejuice on Safari. They didn't get Beetlejuice at all. I got like, a cool character that everybody likes on White Lotus.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Like, I was pushing myself too far.

[Unknown]

I mean, like, no, Goggins would wear that. I don't know the show, but Goggins would wear that.

[Justin McElroy]

But you know the feeling. I don't want to talk about the shirt specifically. I want to talk about the feeling of when you put on a garment where, you know, you're pushing it a little bit.

[Unknown]

I've never, you know that you are.

[Justin McElroy]

Lying about who you are and you're hoping everyone else just kind of goes with it. It doesn't point out that. Yeah, no, I don't think so.

[Unknown]

No.

[Griffin McElroy]

Big shot map.

[Unknown]

I feel like.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think it's okay to step into that. We all wear masks.

[Justin McElroy]

Ooh. Jim Carrey says I have a Japanese style. I have a Japanese style, like, jacket that was advertised to me on Facebook. It's like a tasteful, elegant jacket that ties at the front. A tasteful tie.

[Unknown]

Are you bragging or no?

[Justin McElroy]

It's been hanging in my closet sort of a. Like a yukata, perhaps. Every time that I take it down, I think, perhaps this is the elegant.

[Griffin McElroy]

Occasion where I'm gonna.

[Justin McElroy]

Where I'm gonna wear this clown.

[Griffin McElroy]

I must protest. I simply must. I must stand on business right now. Justin tell you, I don't think so.

[Unknown]

I just agree.

[Justin McElroy]

Listen, Griffin, we are in, as you could tell from my lack of ever wearing it, 100%.

[Griffin McElroy]

Full agreement.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, full agreement. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Well, Justin, I disagree with Griffin here. It's the first time it's ever happened. But I'm gonna say, when you put on a garment, you must ask yourself, who is wearing who? And I think that if you put that elegant jacket on and you second guess yourself, that jacket's wearing you, my man. And that's not the case. You gotta put that jacket on and make that jacket your own and know that you're good.

[Griffin McElroy]

And the other jackets are like, damn, you're looking good. Other jacket, what is that? And they're like, it's a. Justin, he's so funny.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm saying, though, that by wearing the wearing of this frock, would I know that I would have to believe it to pull it off?

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

And that belief would represent such an incredible act of hubris on my part.

[Unknown]

Oh, that's what they don't tell you about the emperor's new clothes is that there's a version of that where everybody's like, listen, I know he's not wearing any clothes, but that man's confident as hell.

[Griffin McElroy]

Look at that.

[Unknown]

So bold.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hanging brain out in the public yard.

[Unknown]

And I think that's a. We're supposed to mock him in that story, but here's a dude who looks at himself naked and says, I look so good that even though, listen, I'm in on it too. I know I'm naked, but damn, look at this.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's an alternate ending of that story where that kingdom becomes a naked kingdom.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Everyone's like, damn, he's so brave and bold. What are we doing with these things? Why are we ashamed of these forms that God gave us? Is a religious story in my version of it.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm sorry, go ahead.

[Griffin McElroy]

And then everyone Would be naked. Go ahead. I'm done.

[Justin McElroy]

Beautiful, beautiful. Give me 30 seconds. Oh, last chance to get your bets in on whether you think I pull it off. I'll come back in.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are you gonna change? Oh, you're putting on.

[Justin McElroy]

I know exactly where it is. 30 seconds. Yeah, I'm gonna put it on and then we'll get an official vote.

[Unknown]

Okay. Griffin and I will talk about it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Unknown]

No matter what, we should give it 10 out of 10.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, it's gonna depend entirely on the length for me.

[Unknown]

I think if it is what length works for you.

[Griffin McElroy]

If it's a jacket with a cinch, there's interpretations of that that I think work for Justin. If it is knee length, all of a sudden, I don't think if there's.

[Unknown]

A mid thigh, I think I would enjoy it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Mid thigh is even approaching. Is approaching the danger zone for me, if I'm being honest.

[Unknown]

Well, there's a shortness too. That wouldn't work.

[Justin McElroy]

Well.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, man. Well, I don't know, because I kind of like a fucking, like, cyberpunk crop top jacket. I think Justin could pull one of those off.

[Justin McElroy]

Really?

[Griffin McElroy]

Fucking.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Well, but then why would it have a cinch? Why would I have a tie if it's.

[Griffin McElroy]

You don't need a cinch for a crop top. Yeah, no, I mean, defeating the purpose, I.

[Unknown]

One might argue.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just go around your armpits. I don't know where the cinch would even go at that point.

[Unknown]

Yeah. All right, here we go.

[Griffin McElroy]

All right, let's see it. Maximize your window for the full effect.

[Unknown]

Yeah, Good call. Oh, I like the color.

[Griffin McElroy]

What material is this?

[Unknown]

Huh?

[Griffin McElroy]

What material is this that we're talking about?

[Justin McElroy]

I don't know. Let's see some of the details.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's the washing instruction.

[Justin McElroy]

It's 100% technical polyester.

[Unknown]

Oh, technical polyester. So you could do, like, work in it.

[Justin McElroy]

So I roll up to the function. Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Bind it, cinch it.

[Justin McElroy]

This is.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, this is not what I was expecting. I was expecting more of a. More of a yukata. This is just like a. I'm saying.

[Unknown]

If you had a clean, clean, crisp white shirt.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Maybe an asshole like me, Justin Tyler McElroy, like, I'm the person who's doing this. Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

I tell you, man. I'll tell you what it's giving me. And you can take this how you want it and sort of measure yourself against it if that is how you choose. This is giving me Ethan Hunt on the lamb in Jakarta or something like fucking running along rooftops like it's giving me kind of action, Jack.

[Justin McElroy]

So if you're saying if I make a hole with a gun perpendicular to me, who I am on the planet, the absolute opposite, 100% through the mantle. I think the mantle core of the Earth pops out the 100% opposite. Furthest I could be from how I should be dressed. Like the biggest possible miss is what you're saying.

[Unknown]

Here's what I'll say. The fit is great.

[Griffin McElroy]

The fit.

[Unknown]

It fits you great. And I think if you rolled up.

[Griffin McElroy]

To like a backyard barbecue, the tummy bolo I could honestly do without.

[Justin McElroy]

Does it wrap?

[Unknown]

But I'm saying the T shirt underneath makes it look like not right.

[Justin McElroy]

But if you had the T shirt underneath is. Cause the Beetlejuice shirt would look a white dress.

[Unknown]

I would like cool sunglasses. You were out at a summer barbecue.

[Griffin McElroy]

What are those?

[Unknown]

Or a patio party.

[Justin McElroy]

I was taking off my sunglasses.

[Griffin McElroy]

Those are so small, man. Your fingers were so little.

[Justin McElroy]

Why?

[Unknown]

If you had some Morpheus. Some cool Morpheus glasses.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, yeah, dude.

[Unknown]

Dude.

[Griffin McElroy]

Some Morpheus half moon glasses. This should be a new segment on the show. Fit check. Some Morpheus half moon glasses, sunglasses. With that untied. Very, very short yukata, I think is a strong fucking look. Those are not gonna be half moon.

[Justin McElroy]

You think these gunners with it is this song.

[Unknown]

I don't think the game is actually fully. Actually broke.

[Griffin McElroy]

It fully. Fully ruins it, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, fair enough.

[Unknown]

All right.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, thank you guys for indulging me.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, sure. Of course.

[Unknown]

I think. I think you could pull it off.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, we just demonstrated the opposite. So you're hypothetical.

[Unknown]

Is that what you took away from that? I think shorts.

[Justin McElroy]

You promise elegant slacks with.

[Griffin McElroy]

If I saw the car, I saw the cargo pockets peeking up over those. Over that jacket. Yeah.

[Unknown]

I'm just saying, when you rolled up in that jacket, it was not a no for me that there was potential there. I think you could do it. There will come a day don't get rid of it, is what I'm saying. There will come a day where you.

[Justin McElroy]

Get rid of it. Yeah, it would. What I do with my clothes is I donate them to Harmony House. And I feel like that jacket would land even worse there than it is in my home. Honestly, if that's even less appropriate, there.

[Griffin McElroy]

Would be some confusion.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, it would be some mile. Yeah, There's a yeah. Here's our first question. I work at the zoo as a lion scientist.

[Griffin McElroy]

This comes with a fucking hell, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Cool.

[Griffin McElroy]

You learn about so many cool fucking jobs through this show, don't you guys.

[Unknown]

I'm glad that I. It does sound like a lion who's a scientist. That would be a scientist lion.

[Griffin McElroy]

I guess it does sound like a lion who's a scientist. But I love that there's.

[Justin McElroy]

You don't know. Can I say so far, you don't know if that's true. Because if a lion was a scientist, they would be able to write an email to a podcast.

[Unknown]

I guess that's true. I assumed they would be doing lion based science, which I think shows a lot of ignorance on my end.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, but they work at the zoo.

[Unknown]

Cause it's a fucking lion, man.

[Justin McElroy]

You can't be running around in public.

[Unknown]

Or maybe they work at the zoo like a writer might write at a coffee shop, right? Where it's just like, I don't work at the coffee shop. I do my work at the coffee shop.

[Justin McElroy]

No, no, no. They're being polite. They live in a zoo.

[Unknown]

It's a lion.

[Justin McElroy]

You know what I mean? Like they're being tasteful about it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Would a lion doing lion experiments? Hypotheses, like, what happened?

[Justin McElroy]

I eat two hypotheses.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you. What happened? I eat two pig. Tummy hurt. Like, yeah, drink from drink. I drink yucky water. Tummy hurt like a lot of just sort of like figuring out if tummy hurt.

[Justin McElroy]

When I think that where does gazelle go after eat?

[Griffin McElroy]

Where does gazelle go after eat? My hypothesis, Sharks.

[Justin McElroy]

What is red watering gazelle?

[Unknown]

Why delicious?

[Justin McElroy]

Why delicious?

[Griffin McElroy]

The question I, the lion scientist, have to ask is how come the circle of life features so much poop, has so much defecate? Circle of life is more of a sine wave of life where it's like, oh, a thing is alive and then something eats it and turns it into poop. And then that goes right back to grass. It just kind of grass guy. Grass guy, you know, I'm just saying.

[Unknown]

That if I was a lientist and I'm at the zoo, I would have so many chances to see see people cooking and eating food that they would look at like the raw shit they're eating and go, huh, A lot of.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cooking happening at the zoo that I'm not aware of.

[Unknown]

Yeah, man. People gotta eat.

[Justin McElroy]

People gotta eat.

[Griffin McElroy]

But from the lion exhibit, that's the.

[Justin McElroy]

Whole appeal of the aquarium, is you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Get to see people cooking.

[Unknown]

No, it's just you go to the aquarium, you go, man, I wanna eat some fish.

[Justin McElroy]

I ate that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, I would love to keep reading fish.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah, right. This one. Oh, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Make it past the first sentence. If you insist. This Comes with unlimited free zoo access during opening hours. Additionally, my girlfriend and I love yogging together. The city I live in does not have many good parks for yogging, but the zoo has a lot of open green spaces and pedestal pedestrianized paths. You know? You know, I read these.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

When you write them, you know, I read them out loud. Don't do things like that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Drop little caltrops for you along the way.

[Justin McElroy]

Pedestrianized. Yeah. Thank you.

[Unknown]

Hey, I'm just saying. Question asker. That makes it sound like they didn't begin as paths for pedestrians, but pedestrian experience of taking them over.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I've seen nobody jog at the zoo ever, but people do come in to walk with their dogs. How can I start yogging at the zoo without alerting the zoo's security and losing my job? That's from did it in the Deer park in Berlin.

[Unknown]

That must be a weird fucking experience for a dog to go and walk around the zoo.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, sure, yeah.

[Unknown]

Where the dog's like, I have a hard time with squirrels. What the fuck is that?

[Justin McElroy]

It would be like if you took.

[Griffin McElroy]

Me on a trip to monster jail and it was like humans sort of. But they were 12ft tall with like claws and crazy shit.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

I was like, cool, cool. They look alarmingly like me.

[Justin McElroy]

Cool. So you're saying stay small, Stay small, stay nice.

[Griffin McElroy]

I guess I feel like the zoo's one of those places you cannot run like a poolside or a courthouse or. There's not a lot of places. But I feel like zoo is one of those places because if I see someone running at the zoo, I'm also going to start running at the zoo. Yes. So Griffin the gorilla's gone out.

[Justin McElroy]

I 100% agree with you. I feel like running at the zoo is like yelling fire in a crowded theater. There is an assumption if you're running at the zoo. Now I think I also have an assumption that even if you weren't being chased by running at the zoo and running past the large animals there, I feel like you were running the risk of triggering some sort of biolog.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, absolutely.

[Unknown]

You know what I mean?

[Justin McElroy]

Normally they wouldn't, but they're like, something in their brain's like, gotta kill it. Gotta do it. Go.

[Unknown]

I think that there is a level of animation one could achieve to like a hyper jogging animation one might see in a cartoon where people will be like, that's jogging right. Where there's no.

[Griffin McElroy]

If you have a sweatband. Oh, yeah, okay, good picture.

[Unknown]

And you're like pumping.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sweatband. Yeah. Ankle weights. Wrist weights.

[Justin McElroy]

That's why. That's why the mall, the Heights Mall printed out those T shirts, said like, I'm not insane. I paid to be a mall walker. Which maybe that makes me insane. I don't know.

[Unknown]

You gotta pay.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, man. Because you get in early. You can go in before. Like that's how some people got like would get early in line for consoles. They would pay to be a mall walker. And they would go walk up to the Babbage's and stand outside of it and then go get a consultation.

[Unknown]

That's a very generational indication that of an age where someone would be worried that the mall might be too crowded to walk around in during business hours.

[Griffin McElroy]

Fair point.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. Or maybe they just don't want a bunch of fucking jabronis with Forever 21 bags slowing down their critical path. Right. You can't draft behind somebody with a bunch of bags from Spencer Gifts. You know what I mean?

[Unknown]

They're gonna blow your line. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

No one has jogged at the zoo ever. People do come in with their dogs. Can you get a dog and run jog with the dog?

[Unknown]

Oh, a big Marmaduke type. And it looks like he's walking you. I can't help a dog.

[Justin McElroy]

You are living in a fool's paradise if you think that a dog is going to run past huge animals. No way. No way he's gonna stop and bark at them. He's gonna at least smell them.

[Griffin McElroy]

The takeaway I'm having from this question is it's people can bring dogs into zoos.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Having a really hard time getting past that point.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. What if you lose it and the zookeepers like, well, ours. Now you're an animal.

[Griffin McElroy]

You know, it's. Guess what?

[Justin McElroy]

It's dogs. Yeah. You're part of the zoo.

[Unknown]

I was wondering the other day if my dog would bark at a dinosaur or not.

[Griffin McElroy]

Why were you wondering about that?

[Unknown]

I think I was watching a trailer for Jurassic World and it got me thinking about. In Jurassic World, the first one Bryce Dallas Howard talks about, no one comes to the dinosaur zoo anymore. Cause people are bored of seeing dinosaurs so they're gonna make bigger, scarier dinosaurs. And I said, no one wants bigger, scarier dinosaurs. They want littler dinosaurs that they can keep at home.

[Griffin McElroy]

I remember your thesis.

[Unknown]

Yeah. And then I thought, if I had like a 10 foot tall dinosaur in my backyard, would my dogs get along with it or lose their shit at it?

[Griffin McElroy]

Your imagination is so fantastic.

[Unknown]

Thank you.

[Griffin McElroy]

And fantastical. And I find myself every day thinking how jealous I am to be Able to think of things like, what if there was a 10 foot dinosaur in my backyard? I never think about not, what if.

[Unknown]

There was a 10 foot dinosaur in my backyard? How would my dogs react to a 10 foot dinosaur in my backyard?

[Griffin McElroy]

That's even a step beyond. Like, first of all, I would have to imagine that I had dogs. Was the type of person who liked being around dogs for extended periods of time and wanted to own a dog. And then the dinosaur thing and then what if they met? Like, that's five steps that there's. I just couldn't.

[Unknown]

Lily would get along great. Buttercup would not care for it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Buttercup would fucking definitely not.

[Justin McElroy]

I think part of the issue is you don't see running at places. I think if you run at places where people are supposed to stop and look at stuff.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I think it kind of screams privilege, you know, it kind of says, it would be like, if you're at the museum and you're running at the museum and you're like, there's a painting, there's another painting, there's another painting. It's like, yeah, you're just blowing past him. You're not stopping to enjoy the paintings. If you run past a dolphin and the dolphin's like, look at me. I can think and I have a hole that shoots air. And you're just like, don't care. The dolphin might be like, well, a lot of people, other people used to care.

[Unknown]

You know what I mean?

[Justin McElroy]

When they made the Flipper show and stuff. People used to love dolphins.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're worried about hurting the animal's feelings.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, it's not just that. It's like if you stop to. If you stop to look at a dolphin, right? You're like, shit, yeah. You know what I mean?

[Griffin McElroy]

Every time. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

This thing's cold. It's like zipping through the water. It feels so free.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

And then. And then some guy is like, on.

[Unknown]

Your left, on your left.

[Justin McElroy]

And you're. Yes. I guess you feel like, I guess I'm kind of an idiot for looking at these stupid dolphins so long. I guess they are kind of boring. That guy just didn't even look at him. I guess I'm the idiot because that guy just ran past, didn't even look at him. I wasted. Maybe there's better animals that this guy knows about.

[Unknown]

Yeah. What is he jogging towards?

[Griffin McElroy]

And those animals, they only let a few people see him every day. He's gonna.

[Unknown]

I don't wanna miss my window.

[Griffin McElroy]

They get all used up.

[Unknown]

But here's the problem, Justin. As A man who does move quickly through museums and such.

[Justin McElroy]

Life.

[Unknown]

Yeah, life. I find myself when I stop to appreciate, say, a painting or an animal or whatever, the speed at which my brain goes, how long do I need to stand here and appreciate it before I can move on? You know, once you stop now, it's an indefinite amount of time where you're looking at the thing, 15 seconds, and you're like, I get zebras.

[Griffin McElroy]

Every docent I've talked to said if they see someone looking at a painting for 15 seconds, they think this guy gets it.

[Unknown]

More than that, they're cases.

[Griffin McElroy]

More than that, you're just not gonna get it.

[Justin McElroy]

If you're an awkward person who's thinking too much about this at a museum, you gotta practice my method. And I know we've had a pretty visual episode so far, but the trick is to not let your body ever fully stop moving.

[Unknown]

Oh.

[Justin McElroy]

Like, you walk up and you see the art, and then, like, your feet slow down, but now your head's moving. Like, huh, you're looking at it. But then when your head stops to look, oh, now the feet are moving. Oh, now we're crossing over here. And then we're kind of looking at. And then we're looking at it from this angle.

[Unknown]

And then before you know it, I'm gone.

[Griffin McElroy]

Justin's doing a lot of.

[Justin McElroy]

I already looked at the art.

[Griffin McElroy]

Justin's doing a lot of bending at 45 degree angles inside of the way.

[Unknown]

You do need a better look at it.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, you turn to get a better look at it. Oh, what's that? I'm on to the next art.

[Unknown]

It also helps. I find myself in that scenario.

[Justin McElroy]

Looking at me, looking at the art would think, he looked at that fucking perfectly. He looked at it the exact right amount. He looked at it from all the right angles. He said the right things. He nodded his head.

[Unknown]

When you look at it from the last angle, if you announce, oh, okay, then, yeah, okay. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

The fucking patented, like, if you really. If you get stuck and you're like, I feel like I've been looking at this too long. People are looking at me. If you need it out, I would highly recommend the quick swoop back to look at the plate.

[Unknown]

Yes, that's a great reset.

[Griffin McElroy]

A little nod, a little nod. Acrylic. That's what I thought.

[Justin McElroy]

Scoot your face up like you forgot, like, wait, was it acrylic or what? And then you swoop back into the plate. Watercolor. Okay. And then you're like.

[Griffin McElroy]

Then you're out of there.

[Unknown]

You just disengaged and maybe remove your glasses and touch your eyeballs in a way. It's not clear if you're just like, oh, rubbing his eyes. Or maybe there was a tear. We don't know.

[Justin McElroy]

The plate's good if you need a reset too, because you could squint at that for a while, like you're reading it and no one's got the patience to watch you do that. Yeah, it's a good reset.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, can I ask you guys a question? Hypothetical Fun to think about. Fun.

[Justin McElroy]

Nothing that I've said has been hypothetical, by the way. Or a bit. This is a hundred percent.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's how you do it, How I navigate the world. Absolutely. If you guys got to go in a museum and it was just gonna be you in there for like an afternoon, do you think you would have some sort of like, powerful experience in there? Just given the time and freedom? Do you think you would come out of there after your afternoon of solo art appreciation? Some of the great masterworks. Do you think you're coming out of there? Like, fuck, like, I get it. I've.

[Justin McElroy]

I really get it now. If you've been creeped out by the Mona Lisa, that's different. You know what I mean? If you've been like. If you've ever had the threat, if you've ever had the thought. I think the Mona Lisa is gonna. Five Nights at Freddy's. Me.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Then that's really. You've experienced it on a deep level.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think Five Nights at Louvy's is something. Something powerful indeed.

[Justin McElroy]

All the great masterworks come to life.

[Unknown]

I think you're talking about Night of the Museum. You guys look at.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, okay. Yes, thank you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Jennifer's is right. It is. Yeah. It's Night of the. Night of the Museum in.

[Justin McElroy]

We're just backing it.

[Unknown]

Yeah, you backed it via Five Nights at. You got to.

[Justin McElroy]

This is just a three point turn. We were just backing in.

[Griffin McElroy]

We had to stop. We had to stop and do a pit stop at Five Nights at Freddy's to get to Night at the Museum.

[Unknown]

You drove too far. You passed Night at the Museum. You had to pull into Five Nights at Freddy's driveway. Were we having guests? Oh, they're going back to Night at the Museum.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm envisioning a half corroded cowboy Owen Wilson, just like his metal jaw hanging open, like doing his bit, being all scary, coming out of the vents. What a. What a time, man. What a time.

[Justin McElroy]

What a man. What a movie. I think we're ready for one more grown up Gritty one before we call.

[Unknown]

It Nightmare at the Museum.

[Justin McElroy]

Nightmare at the Museum.

[Griffin McElroy]

Could be something. Could be it.

[Justin McElroy]

Wow, we've been talking so much.

[Griffin McElroy]

No kidding, dude.

[Justin McElroy]

You know what the problem is? I just love talking to you guys.

[Unknown]

I love talking to you guys.

[Griffin McElroy]

I just love talking to you guys.

[Justin McElroy]

But you know what? I really love talking to you guys about most products. Conversations that net us income.

[Griffin McElroy]

Absolutely.

[Justin McElroy]

Not even close. Let's go.

[Travis McElroy]

Is that a. Is that a movie?

[Justin McElroy]

All right, guys, I'm looking at the.

[Unknown]

Copy here for Squarespace. It says they want us to do like a teen focused, kind of hipper version. Something that's really going to appeal to the youth. So drop somebody.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I got it.

[Unknown]

Oh, Griffin, you got it? Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I can handle that for sure. That's easy. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. We should say that just to cover ourselves legally. Listen, if you own a business or are some sort of independent contractor artist creator of some sort, and you need an online platform where you can offer your services and get paid all in one place and get paid on time with professional on brand invoices and online payment systems, and streamline your workflow with built in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools. If this is a thing that you need in your life because you're creative with no idea how this side of the world works, Squarespace can help you out. And I'm going to get to the teen stuff here in just a second.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I didn't want to interrupt. Oh, I did want to interrupt, but no, I was noticing a lack of anything that would appeal to the youth demographic.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, but they're patient. So teens. I promise I'm going to get you in the end.

[Justin McElroy]

So.

[Griffin McElroy]

Squarespace is amazing. We've all used it. I don't know if everyone listening has used it, but the three of us have used it a bunch of times. I've made a couple websites with it. Couldn't be easier. They look great, they have amazing templates, great support, everything that you need. And again, a lot of great tools for helping you run a little business. If that's what your calling is, head to squarespace.com mybrother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code mybrother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Got a number one Victory Royale. Yeah, Fortnite number one on the board right now, just with a tomato town.

[Unknown]

Okay, yeah, that worked. It was a lot of it. Condensed right there at the end, but yeah, he's loving it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Justin I punched my office chair like four times while flossing just then. And it's really bad. I think I heard it.

[Unknown]

You just have to pay the tax. Stamps.com actually is looking for the same thing. But they specifically said they wanted you to do it because they think you're the most in touch with the youth demographic.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's so fucking crazy.

[Justin McElroy]

You can't trick me.

[Unknown]

I'm your older brother.

[Justin McElroy]

Nice fucking try.

[Unknown]

No, it says right here.

[Justin McElroy]

Last time I went to the post office, the post office gentleman looked at me and he said. And he gave me a crate of packages that he'd been saving from my post office box there at the place post office because I don't go in frequently enough. And he said to me, I thought you were turning over a new lease.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wow.

[Justin McElroy]

Because I told him that I was going to turn over a new leaf and come in more frequently to collect the winnings from my post office that all you kind people send all your cereals and what have you to P.O. box 54, Huntington, West Virginia, 25706. Don't send any more Kraft Mac and Cheese. We're good. Thank you. But I can't turn over new leaf because I'm too busy at home printing off all my postage. Because I don't need to go to the post office as much anymore because Samus.com makes it so easy to do at home. I put the thing on the scale. They print the postage and they do it for a lot cheaper than the guys at the place.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's actually in the ad copy. They say be proud of that. Like say that. But you don't have to be proud of that.

[Unknown]

Don't waste time worrying about fiscal responsibility. It's kind of their main thing. So Travis, you gotta.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're stepping all over it. He's gonna get to the teen stuff.

[Unknown]

Oh, okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Don't waste time worrying about being a postage expert or standing in line to drop off letters and packages. Let stamps.com do what they do best so you can do what you do better. Vape. Go to stamps.com and use code my brother to sign up for a special offer. No contract canceled anytime. That's stamps.com code. Mybrother. It will make things easier for you.

[Unknown]

Stamps.com does not endorse vaping of any kind.

[Justin McElroy]

It's not a vaping business.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, but it is for real vapers only.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes, but it's not. It's not.

[Unknown]

It's not.

[Justin McElroy]

Wink. Do you want to travel this summer but don't have the time?

[Griffin McElroy]

Want to learn all about state mottos and history without summer school.

[Justin McElroy]

Or maybe you just love urban legends and Latin.

[Unknown]

Well, my friends, there's one podcast that ties it all together and celebrates the American states many call home E Pluribus Motto.

[Justin McElroy]

Every episode we showcase a different state or commonwealth or district or territory and celebrate its official motto and the absurdity of all its local life.

[Unknown]

We'll go across the country with stops.

[Griffin McElroy]

At Oregon, New Mexico, Pennsylvania and so many more. Join us, won't you, to take in the sights and sounds.

[Justin McElroy]

New episodes of E Pluribus Motto every other week on Maximum Fun. What's more action packed than prestige television?

[Griffin McElroy]

With more continuity than comic books and more reality than reality television?

[Justin McElroy]

It's professional wrestling. And to better understand wrestling is the ultimate form of entertainment, you need the Tights and Fights podcast.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is the perfect wrestling show with a lot of love, a lack of toxic masculinity and just the right amount.

[Justin McElroy]

Of bots, cats and spandex.

[Griffin McElroy]

Listen to Tights and Fights every Saturday on Maximum Fun.

[Justin McElroy]

I wanna munch squad. I want to munch squad.

[Griffin McElroy]

I love mixing electronic instrumentation in there. Yeah, Very modern rock.

[Unknown]

Very well.

[Justin McElroy]

I have to change with the times or else what am I doing over here, man? So you guys, like, you want to talk about Sydney Sweeney? Do you want to talk about Sydney Sweeney?

[Griffin McElroy]

Every time that she has, I feel like, come up in our sort of area, it has been for a product that is being sold that maybe features something she touched or looked at or.

[Unknown]

I think it would be exciting, though, to be the first three straight white men with an opinion on Sydney Sweeney. That would be exciting. That would be very groundbreaking, I think.

[Justin McElroy]

No, this is not about Sydney Sweeney selling her bathwater. Although, I mean, good honor, if I could get away with it 100%, sure, no question.

[Griffin McElroy]

No one wants. No one wants my yucky stuff.

[Unknown]

Not even environmentally friendly, if you think about it. Reduce, reuse, recycle.

[Justin McElroy]

So Sydney Sweeney didn't sell her bathwater. That's great, but that's not what we're here to talk about today, guys, because we're here to talk about, like, I don't know if Sydney Sweeney really loves taking baths or not. And I don't actually know if it makes her feel happy deep down in her heart to sell her bath water to a bunch of people in I don't know. But I do know that she loves Baskin Robin so fucking much, she can't even handle it sometimes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Really?

[Justin McElroy]

How do I know? Because Baskin Robbins is bringing serious star power to your Ice cream outings this summer with the launch of the Sweet on Sydney menu, a limited time offering co created with longtime Baskin Robbins fan and actress. She always demands those credits be listened to.

[Griffin McElroy]

Those in that exact order.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I'm a double threat.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think in IMDb at the very top, it does say Baskin Robinson, the crazy enthusiast.

[Justin McElroy]

Available starting July 1. The sweet on Sydney menu celebrates Sydney's signature sweet tooth and love of Baskin Robbins with two colorful creations perfect for a refreshing summer snack. Now I do enjoy. I just want to show you guys, just to give you guys a little bit of.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, Baskin Robbins usually comes correct.

[Unknown]

I have been chasing the high of the Baskin Robbins little clown sundae cup for kids where the cone is the hat and they put the frosting on the.

[Griffin McElroy]

You can't go home again, man. It's not gonna hit the same way they do those.

[Justin McElroy]

They call them creature creation.

[Unknown]

But it's not the same now. Cause I'm a grownup and I think about everything. There's so much adult context to eating it now. The joy of getting that when you're a child. Can't be replaced.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can't be beaten. Are you trying to show us multimedia?

[Justin McElroy]

No, I'm trying to get you guys to shut up so I can tell you you have a look on your.

[Griffin McElroy]

Face sometimes, Juice, when it looks like you're trying to get something to load or screen share. And I thought I clocked that on your face. I apologize. I was mistaken.

[Justin McElroy]

No, that's okay. It's fine. No, I was gonna show you this video, but it's like at a certain point.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, so I was right and you made me feel bad about it anyway.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, let's not do this. This. No one wants this. You know what I mean? Yeah, I need to do this.

[Unknown]

I love talking to you guys.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, it's still fun. No.

[Unknown]

Such personal.

[Justin McElroy]

What I would say is officially, for the record, I would do it if I didn't have to.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that's a really good bottom line for us to take on.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I would talk.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's a lot of I do that I defo would not do if not, you know, fully obligated to do it.

[Justin McElroy]

I just wanted to. I have these two different pictures. I'm trying to get the video for you guys. I just feel like there is an exact Sydney Sweeney selling stuff to you pose that Sydney Sweeney has nailed. And just comparing these images, there's an exact look on the face that says, hey, buy this from me. Sydney Sweeney.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm not Looking at you, there's something up and to the right. That is.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, there's something up and to the right over here. That. That's the taller you that you could be if you buy this.

[Unknown]

I'm excited to see a picture of this person. I don't have any context for who they are. They're very low profile. But I hear their name whispered sometimes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And kind of like, get ready, they've.

[Justin McElroy]

Got a menu that you're about to enjoy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cool.

[Unknown]

Oh.

[Griffin McElroy]

Is that Sydney Sweeney? Oh, yeah, it is. She really loves our rainbow sherbet. She comes here all the time. Wait, seriously?

[Justin McElroy]

Is Sydney Sweeney posing outside about talking about how honey she is for ice cream, and she's sneaking in at night and eating the ice cream when they ask her not to? That's so cool.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

It can be.

[Griffin McElroy]

Summer's looking sweet at Baskin Robbins. Try my new Sweet on Sydney menu, available at Baskin Robbins nationwide for a limited time.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

So that's her favorite.

[Unknown]

There is an underlying horror to that commercial. The way that the Baskin Robbins employees can be.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Implies that there is a deep fear behind his eyes that he is afraid to voice.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes.

[Unknown]

That when he opens the store in the middle of the night, Sydney Sweeney's there stealing ice cream, waiting. And she's like, what? And he's too afraid to say anything. Hey.

[Justin McElroy]

What? This is like, I don't know Sydney Sweeney personally, and I would never, like, impugn her character because I don't know her as a person.

[Griffin McElroy]

No.

[Justin McElroy]

But I do think we need to allow for the possibility that if you are close to Sydney Sweeney, you suddenly gain access to a horrible truth about the universe and the nature of yourself or something. Something truly terrifying that you can't communicate to anybody else.

[Griffin McElroy]

That is what the commercial seems to suggest. I hope one day I am famous in a particular way where a brand will come to me and say, we got a whole campaign we want to do. And the whole thing with the campaign is that you're a fucking sicko freak for our shit.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

And I wanna partner up with Taco Bell and have there be a commercial where, like, I keep coming in to use the Taco Bell bathroom. And eventually the guy at Taco Bell is like, sir, you can't keep coming in here just to use the bathroom.

[Justin McElroy]

Is that Griffin McElroy?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. He's a fool.

[Justin McElroy]

But I'm beloved actor Griffin.

[Unknown]

Yeah. And I'm kind of acting like a weird Android who's horny for the Taco Bell bathroom.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hollywood Blockbuster star Griffin McElroy and he says he can only shit in our Taco Bell bathroom.

[Justin McElroy]

I want to want both of you guys.

[Unknown]

Okay?

[Justin McElroy]

I want to give you the Leah paragraph. And then after that, I want both of you guys to give me the Sydney Sweeney pull quote about this partnership. I want you guys to give me what you think.

[Griffin McElroy]

I imagine every pull quote is going.

[Justin McElroy]

To be like, give me that cold creamy stuff, okay?

[Unknown]

So this, you can change the locks as much as you want. You're not fucking keeping me out.

[Justin McElroy]

The quote. I will tell you for consistency sake. The quote is out of consistency.

[Unknown]

I'm Sydney Sweeney Todd, bitch.

[Justin McElroy]

Fuck it.

[Unknown]

Mess you up.

[Justin McElroy]

The quote is out of cafe. It is Sydney Sweeney the entrepreneur and not Sydney Sweeney the freak for Baskin Robbins. Okay? At the heart of the new menu is Sydney's signature scoop, which features rainbow sherbet in a chocolate dipped waffle cone with rainbow sprinkles and topped with gummy bear minis. I will just say this.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Chocolate plus rainbow sherbet's disgusting.

[Unknown]

Thank you.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's fucked up. Yeah, that's disgusting. Also, as someone who did work at the country's Best yogurt for a couple summers, thank you. Please listen to and please know that I'm speaking the truth. You can't put gummy anythings on ice cream. It turns them into a truly unpleasant tooth texture experience. Yeah, don't worry.

[Justin McElroy]

Joining the scoop is a new refreshing beverage, Sydney's signature Fizz, which blends rainbow sherbet with starry lemon lime soda and is topped with gummy bear minis. No, that's a choking hazard.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Why would you put. Thank you, Sydney. You choked me today. I love euphoria.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm also dead.

[Justin McElroy]

This summary sip will be available to a lucky few. An exclusive limited time color change.

[Unknown]

Oh, I wanted it to be any.

[Justin McElroy]

Exchange for something in exchange for exchange for this firstborn child. Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, we did do it at tcby.

[Justin McElroy]

We did.

[Griffin McElroy]

I just want to get out there and say sorbet fizz while I was still working there as Sprite, the Kevin Sorbet fizz.

[Unknown]

But at the time, we didn't know that much about Kevin Sorbet.

[Griffin McElroy]

He hadn't gone sour yet.

[Unknown]

Okay, so he's Kevin Source.

[Justin McElroy]

Give me my quote, Griffin. First, what's the quote from Sydney Sweeney about this Friday?

[Griffin McElroy]

I can't start. My summer hasn't officially started until I've chomped down on.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, now you know. She didn't say chomp down.

[Griffin McElroy]

My summer can't start without baskin Robbins there without the colt, without sherbert from Baskin Robbins and these gummy bears on them.

[Unknown]

Okay. I think something like, as a longtime Baskin Robbins fan, I'm so excited to be able to get to partner with them and bring this fantastical summer flavor to life.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, Definitely not gonna go a single clause without establishing that she is a freak for this Baskin Robbins.

[Justin McElroy]

We have been doing this. We have been doing this bit too long. Officially, Baskin Robbins has been part of my life for as long as I can remember.

[Griffin McElroy]

Bazinga.

[Justin McElroy]

It's where a lot of great memories were made, and I still find myself going back pretty often, Said Sweeney. Rainbow sherbet has always been a favorite, so getting to see it featured like this really feels special.

[Griffin McElroy]

Awesome.

[Unknown]

Listen, I don't want to. I don't want to hate on rainbow sherbet, but it kind of feels like every other.

[Justin McElroy]

It's vulgar.

[Unknown]

Every other flavor has already been paired with a celebrity, and they're like, we've got rainbow sherbet left.

[Justin McElroy]

Sydney, who's going to do it? You mix it with gummy bears. Maybe you can call it your thing. The only thing worse is wild and reckless. My kids love that one, and I think it's disgusting. What is it?

[Unknown]

We're always looking to give our Baskin.

[Justin McElroy]

Robbins guests their favorite flavors in new and exciting ways, says Nicole Boutwell, who works there. Sydney's love for Baskin Robbins runs deep. We're so excited to put her signature scoop on the menu alongside a new, refreshing way to enjoy it in a fizz. This bold and fun duo is sure to be a go to order this summer.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's just there's lots of ways that companies work with celebrities in a fictional manner. Sometimes it's fun, like they're the new president of Flavor Blasting or something, and then they're at the super bowl, like, what's up? It's me, Tom Beaudet. I have a new job. Probably wouldn't be him. It'd be like a, you know, Julia Louis Dreyfus. I'm in charge of Flavor Blasting now. I'm the president. Some sort of fictional sort of role. But then sometimes they are just like, say this person likes it. Doesn't that mean something to you?

[Unknown]

Huh?

[Griffin McElroy]

Come get it. They like it.

[Unknown]

I would like to see one of these, be it a Tim Beebs or Ryan Reynolds, whatever his thing was, or Sydney Sweeney's scoop. If they just came out and said, and Baskin Robbins said, I would get $1 for everyone sold, so please go buy them I have expensive tastes and I really like.

[Griffin McElroy]

They should have to. If we have to say in our. In a YouTube video we're playing, you know, we got these Ryan's World toys directly from Ryan's World. If we have to legally say that to remain f. FCC compliant, I do think it would be dope if. If Ryan Reynolds had to be like, and also, I get a dollar every time you guys do this.

[Justin McElroy]

Every time you sign up, I get a little bit.

[Griffin McElroy]

I get a dollar. I like this. I like sherbet ice cream. The commercial ends with Sydney Sweeney barreling the camera. I like this ice cream.

[Justin McElroy]

I like this ice cream. There's nothing you can do about it.

[Griffin McElroy]

But I'm and cool that more people are going to eat it. I'm doing this because they said they would give me $1 for every one of these cones they sell.

[Justin McElroy]

So before we go, I do just want to share this because I thought was delightful. Unrelated. Christophe Poirier is the chief new concept officer for a restaurant spinoff.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, okay.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm not going to show you the restaurant spinoff yet. We'll show that at the end. And this is his quote about the new spinoff.

[Unknown]

I didn't know you could spin off restaurants. Restaurants.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm sure you did. I've told you, told you lots of times. I don't like the McCosmic. The drinks. The drinks only McDonald's. Remember? Drinks only McDonald's.

[Unknown]

That felt like a.

[Justin McElroy]

Remember the robot Taco Bell that was only run by robots.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I remember a lot of customers right now are chasing culture they're not necessarily focusing on. I want to have a boneless chicken product.

[Unknown]

That's true.

[Justin McElroy]

Nobody wants that. They just want not even an experience, a vibe. And it's funny because a lot of brands are focusing on the experience. I think experience is a little bit basic. I have five Gen Zs at home. I'm the happy father of a blended family. None of my kids said, hey, dad, today I'm really looking forward to a great experience.

[Griffin McElroy]

Fuck yeah, man. This is the best press release ever. Is this still a press release?

[Justin McElroy]

This is an interview. This is part of a story about this launch.

[Unknown]

Can I just say, if you say to one human being or a group of human being, My children looked at me today and said, I'm not looking forward to a great experience. That feels like.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, kids didn't say that.

[Justin McElroy]

The kids didn't say that. Okay, sorry.

[Griffin McElroy]

We do need to be clear here.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is not a situation where the kids told their dad, I'm not looking forward to a great experience. This is a situation where the kids did not say to their dad that they want a great experience. Those are two completely different scenarios.

[Justin McElroy]

None of my kids. Cause this guy's a. The dad of a happy blended family.

[Griffin McElroy]

Of five Gen Z.

[Justin McElroy]

And none of my kids said, hey, dad, today I'm really looking forward to the great experience. No, they're looking for the vibe.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

This is what they're.

[Unknown]

What does he think? Vibe.

[Justin McElroy]

What they're looking forward to with brands. It's something that reflects their personalities and not just fits their appetite. They love individuality, strong flavors, and a shareable experience.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wait, wait, no. Travis, he's gotta take some baby steps back to boneless chicken wings and a.

[Justin McElroy]

Shareable experience, but not a great experience. But I would say the success is all about the vibe and just the magnetic attraction of the brand.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes. You know, finally, someone who gets me.

[Justin McElroy]

You get it? So here's the. Here's it. Here it is. Shit, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, man. Yeah, dude. This is Saucy by kfc. This is saucy. Saucy. Very.

[Unknown]

The exclamation point at the end of Saucy is very distracting from some kind of accent placed between the U and the sea. That looks like a frowny face.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's a diphthong. Listen, umlaut.

[Justin McElroy]

I wanna tell you guys, I'm just gonna hit you guys with more Christophe Poirier info about Saucy. Cause it's in Orlando. It's pink instead of red. Our restaurant does not look like a shoebox. There's a lot of windows.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, dude, Fucking. This guy's really, really got my number.

[Justin McElroy]

It will allow us to unlock marketing synergies through Geographic Pro.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm imagining him hovering over like, a shattered chunk of the earth that has raised out beneath him as he channels these powers through a geyser of sauce.

[Unknown]

Raising up the chunk.

[Justin McElroy]

I like disruption. Poirier says, and what is the meaning of disruption? You take conventions and you take. Sorry, wait, this is Adam Driver from Megalopolis is actually.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is Sephiroth.

[Justin McElroy]

Just what is the meaning of disruption? You take conventions and you turn convention upside down. Right now, in the world, many brands are focusing on chicken tenders. So the world does not need another one focusing on chicken tenders because you're in the crowd. I believe in disruption, which means what if the side is the core and the core is the side? When people are focusing on Tinder, I truly believe the core is the sauce. And then tenders and fries are becoming the side. And then it opens up to a new blue ocean of opportunities. Gen Z. They love to explore. They love random things. Our 11 sauces. It's very often that I see customers taking fries and mixing in one sauce in another, making their own cocktails. It's really what people want that is 100% uninterrupted. The quote from this person that whoever he has spoken to in this has not even given the dignity of a Poirier explained excitedly.

[Unknown]

Yeah, there is his eyes wide and wild.

[Justin McElroy]

This. This. They have let this man absolutely go off talking about Saucy by kids.

[Griffin McElroy]

No interrupt. No. Poirier shrieked emphatically, waving his hands dramatically.

[Unknown]

In a way that I felt I was about to be struck, not out of anger, but merely out of gesticulatory.

[Griffin McElroy]

Excitement as a beam of light pierced his chest through the ground into the heavens.

[Unknown]

Right now, I got excited.

[Justin McElroy]

Points are everywhere. But the true definition of value is what you get for what you pay. And I truly believe that value should not be at the expense of the buyer. Poirier says Chiquito is a nickname to say cute and little in Spanish.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

And when you move it to chick and saucy chick, we like to play on words and we like to play on names. This is because saucy for me is really an attitude. So even a name, we could have called it a chicken taco or chicken wrap. But the moment you call it a saucy Chiquito, there is a vibe.

[Unknown]

Don't you see?

[Justin McElroy]

Don't you see? Don't you see it?

[Unknown]

You're blind.

[Justin McElroy]

It's an Omnichannel brand. The best way to attract bees and butterflies is not to try and catch them. Cultivate a beautiful garden with beautiful flowers and bees and butterflies will come. We definitely want to double down or triple down on the success that we have in Orlando. If anyone ever says we want to double down on the success we've had on Orlando, send them to prison.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

So we will definitely come up with new openings very soon. He added as he cackled into the.

[Unknown]

Night, flying off on his flying chicken wing.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, Christoph Fourier. What a. What a treat. Look for Saucy. We're going to be.

[Griffin McElroy]

Dude, I actually. I'm kind of down. Some of those picks looked all right, and I do like Saucy quite a bit. I just wish that it wasn't being run by fucking Kefka. That would be ideal for me.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, you can't always get what you want. True.

[Unknown]

I'm gonna disrupt the chicken tenders game and turn it completely around with fish brittles.

[Justin McElroy]

Fish.

[Griffin McElroy]

Fish brittles?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

You've had chicken tenders. Mm. These are fish brittles.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay. What form do those take?

[Unknown]

They're just kind of thin. And when you try to bite into them, it just shatters.

[Justin McElroy]

Kind of like sticks. More like thin sheets.

[Unknown]

That can also be used to write on or panes of glass.

[Justin McElroy]

Like nori?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Like, finally, seaweed gets real.

[Griffin McElroy]

And it's made out of fish.

[Unknown]

Imagine peanut brittle, but made out of fish. And clear.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's clear. How do you make it clear?

[Unknown]

I can't.

[Justin McElroy]

No one expected it to be clear. It's clear. No one wanted it to be clear. Travis, your market research has misled you.

[Unknown]

Yeah. It also blocks radiation.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Teens love vibes and clear food. You can see through. They eat their clear. They eat their glass burgers. They love this stuff.

[Unknown]

Well, it started. We started it as a way to replace plexiglass. And then somebody took a bite out of it. Jimmy was messing around, took a bite out of it and said, this tastes like fish. And I said, that's weird. Cause no fish was used in the making of it. It was all chemicals. And he said, I think we could sell it. And I said, okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

So this week we're going to be in Anaheim, in Sacramento doing some live shows. We're going to be doing Dadlands, our adventure zone, original ip, GM by Brennan Lee Mulligan, and mbimbam in Anaheim. And then we're going to be doing MBMBAM in Sacramento. If you're coming to either of those MBMBMBams and you have a question or a fear you want, read aloud, go ahead and email that to MBMBAM. That's M B M B A M. Aximumfund.org and put your city in the subject line.

[Justin McElroy]

They're gonna kick ass.

[Griffin McElroy]

They're gonna kick ass. They're gonna be kick ass shows. But if you don't live in California, we got other shows that we're doing all over this country of ours. Atlanta, we're coming to Texas, we're coming to Salt Lake City. We're going all over.

[Justin McElroy]

Why is it okay if they don't come to the California ones to hang their heads and come to these other ones? Yeah, come to all of them.

[Unknown]

Like you would follow the grateful.

[Justin McElroy]

You know what I mean? Like, why are they picking and choosing? I am gonna be at the mall.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

You know.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, yeah, fair point. So dad's also gonna be doing D and D in a castle November 3rd to the 7th.

[Justin McElroy]

Why do we keep promoting that? That doesn't benefit me at all. It doesn't help me whatsoever. Stop saying that.

[Unknown]

It makes dad happy.

[Griffin McElroy]

You can find ticket links and everything.

[Justin McElroy]

So does Doc Savage Books, and they cost $3 at the store. You know what I mean?

[Griffin McElroy]

Bit Ly McRoytours is where you can go to get all that, all that information.

[Unknown]

We also have a bunch of new merch as it's a new month, so check out the why Not a Wizard pin, the Off King, both designed by Evan Cruz, who is what's their face on Instagram. That's what's with a Z. 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the Immigrant Defenders Law Center. So go check that out. McElroymerch.com.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you to Montaigne for the use of our theme song, My Life Is Better with youh. It's a great track. You know what else is a great track? All of the songs on Montaigne's newest album, It's Hard to Be a Fish. That just came out. If you're looking for some new music to listen to and you have not checked out this album, you should do it because it's so fun and good and cool and original and I can't stop pumping it. Thank you, Montaigne.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you, Montaigne.

[Unknown]

May I share a fear with you guys?

[Griffin McElroy]

Sure.

[Justin McElroy]

Please. Yeah. Then we'll get back to the podcast.

[Unknown]

Okay. Thank you.

[Griffin McElroy]

This year I think we should stop when we do this.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sorry.

[Justin McElroy]

It's part of the show. I got it.

[Unknown]

This year I will be faster than my fear that I'll spontaneously be asked to sing the Star Spangled Banner for an audience and forget all of the lyrics. Relatable.

[Justin McElroy]

My name is Justin McElroy.

[Unknown]

I'm Travis McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Griffin McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

It's been my brother. My brother may kiss your dad square on the lips.

[Travis McElroy]

Is it better with you, My life, it's better it's better with you my life, it's better it's better with you this is true. It's better it's better with you My.

[Griffin McElroy]

Life.

[Travis McElroy]

It'S better with you.

[Justin McElroy]

Maximum fun.

[Griffin McElroy]

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