MBMBaM 775: Face 2 Face: Cookies and Clam

Summary

Podcast Summary: My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 775: Face 2 Face: Cookies and Clam

Release Date: August 11, 2025

Hosts: Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy

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Overview

In Episode 775, titled "Face 2 Face: Cookies and Clam," The McElroy brothers engage in their trademark blend of humor, advice, and quirky discussions. This episode delves into a variety of listener-submitted questions, ranging from disc golf etiquette to managing newfound fame, all delivered with the brothers' unique comedic flair.

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1. Opening Banter and Theme Setting (00:00 - 01:45)

The episode kicks off with Justin humorously disclaiming their qualifications, setting a lighthearted tone. Travis introduces the episode with a playful ode to friendship and camaraderie, emphasizing that life is better with each other.

Notable Quote:

• Travis (01:03): "It's better with you. My life."

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2. Listener Questions and Advice Segment

The core of the episode revolves around answering listener-submitted questions. Each question is addressed with a mix of earnest advice and comedic tangents.

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a. Celebratory Phrases for Disc Golf Aces (06:28 - 15:34)

A listener seeks creative alternatives to the repetitive "Okay, now kiss a lot" phrase used by wedding photographers to prompt couples to kiss. Justin and Travis brainstorm various playful and sport-specific expressions, blending disc golf terminology with celebratory remarks.

Notable Quotes:

• Travis (08:05): "Smooched City is pretty good."
• Justin (12:29): "Big moment."

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b. Navigating Nepotism and Fishing Fame (16:00 - 19:45)

Another listener asks for advice on handling a father who has gained fishing fame through Instagram and dealing with the listener's own "nepo baby" status. The brothers discuss the challenges of living in the shadow of a famous parent, offering humorous yet insightful strategies to carve out individual identities.

Notable Quotes:

• Justin (17:34): "There's a lot of discussion these days about, like, Nepo babies and stuff."
• Travis (19:08): "Finfluencer."

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c. Hosting a Home Arcade with 30 Pinball Machines (19:45 - 26:53)

A listener faces the dilemma of inviting coworkers over to a home filled with numerous pinball machines without appearing overly eccentric. Justin and Travis provide creative solutions, suggesting gradual introductions and themed parties to ease guests into the environment.

Notable Quotes:

• Justin (20:10): "If you say, I have 30 pinball machines, I'll be like, fucking 1% bougie, asshole."
• Travis (22:15): "Lead with that, cause that immediately made me understand."

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d. Dealing with a Manager's Reality TV Appearance (38:23 - 44:01)

A listener is concerned about their manager revealing participation in "Naked and Afraid Twice" during an introduction. The brothers tackle the topic by blending humor with practical advice on maintaining professionalism despite personal revelations.

Notable Quotes:

• Travis (40:37): "This is your new boss... they were on Naked and Afraid twice."
• Justin (42:31): "You've got Naked and afraid is nude art."

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e. Managing a Pug's Unusual Bathroom Habits (54:09 - 71:27)

A listener shares an amusing yet frustrating situation where their pug defecates through chain link fences. Justin and Travis offer a range of comedic suggestions, from creating alternative potty areas to humorous warnings for neighbors.

Notable Quotes:

• Justin (66:01): "He has a really bad habit where whenever we're next to, like, a chain link fence, he backs his back legs up onto the fence, like with his feet."
• Travis (69:03): "You gotta praise the fuck out of him like, good boy. Not shitting through that fence."

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3. Munch Squad Segment (27:08 - 43:20)

The brothers introduce "Munch Squad," a podcast within the podcast dedicated to reviewing the latest in branded eating. In this episode, they focus on Krispy Kreme's collaboration with Pac-Man, discussing the new themed donuts and providing humorous critiques of marketing strategies.

Notable Quotes:

• Travis (28:15): "Can never understand why Krispy Kreme burned down, and now the machines are mine."
• Justin (30:00): "There's cream in this?"

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4. Conclusion and Final Thoughts (71:27 - 74:15)

As the episode winds down, the brothers express gratitude towards their audience and team, hinting at upcoming live shows and merchandise. They maintain their signature humor, leaving listeners with a blend of appreciation and anticipation for future content.

Notable Quote:

• Travis (71:43): "It's better with you. My life."

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Highlights

• Humorous Advice: The brothers excel at turning mundane problems into comedic gold, providing both laughs and surprisingly practical solutions.

• Listener Engagement: By addressing diverse and quirky listener questions, Justin, Travis, and Griffin maintain a strong connection with their audience.

• Creative Segments: The introduction of segments like "Munch Squad" showcases their ability to expand content while keeping it fresh and engaging.

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Conclusion

Episode 775 of "My Brother, My Brother And Me" continues the show's tradition of blending humor with genuine advice. Whether tackling disc golf celebrations or managing a pug's peculiar habits, The McElroy brothers deliver an entertaining and insightful episode that resonates with both longtime fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Justin McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out.

[Travis McElroy]

There know how cool they are for listening. What's up? You cool baby? 1, 2, 3, 4. It's the start of something beautiful A.

[Justin McElroy]

Small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into.

[Travis McElroy]

A precious friendship I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the.

[Justin McElroy]

Beach My life.

[Travis McElroy]

It feels live Better, it's better with you My life.

[Justin McElroy]

It'S.

[Travis McElroy]

Better it's better with you this is true it's better it's better with two My life, it's better with you hey everybody. Hey. Welcome my brother, my brother Beitzhev for the Modrin era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. Jesus. Hi. I don't know why that was so fast. I took so long getting to the here. Yeah. And I didn't have enough Montaigne to say the words. What's up Trav Nation? I'm your middle is brother Travis. Vroom, vroom. McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

How's it going?

[Travis McElroy]

Trav Nation? It's me, your sweet baby brother. 3000 under 30 media luminary Griffin built for Jeff McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

I noticed that someone had put a big pile of gum on the stage. I didn't pick it up because I'm not going out like that. Yeah, I'm not saying most of you would be capable of poisoning us.

[Travis McElroy]

I wasn't even worried about that. I'm worried about trick gum. Okay, they did.

[Justin McElroy]

The gum mystery has been solved. I will say that this is mostly an audio based, mouth based medium, but thank you for thinking of us.

[Travis McElroy]

Speaking of which, though, I do want to give a special shout out to the people who fueled tonight's show. Angry Line Coke brought their food truck and made us some delicious burgers.

[Justin McElroy]

Yummy.

[Travis McElroy]

So if the show is especially meaty and delicious, that's why. That's why. Thank you, Angry Line Cook. Thank you. And I, that meal didn't need anything for me but a tiny sweet treat to wash. Okay, okay. So here's what happened. A tiny sweet treat to wash it all down is what I was saying. So about 5:45, Griffin comes down. Justin and I are finishing our delicious burgers. Griffin says, are you guys ready to prep for the show? Justin says, yeah, let us finish digesting first and then we'll Head up and.

[Justin McElroy]

We'Ll prep as if that's a span of time that is universally recognized. It takes, like, 18 hours to digest something, I think.

[Travis McElroy]

So Griffin leaves to go to the room where we're gonna prep. 30 seconds later, Shannon comes in. Shannon helps with our social media and communication stuff. She's here at the show tonight. Hi, Shannon.

[Justin McElroy]

Hi, Shannon.

[Travis McElroy]

She comes in and she goes, hey, I'm gonna go to the candy store around the corner. Does anyone wanna go? And Justin's like, yeah, and leaves the building. Okay, so the hoops troops are gonna be with me on this one. I just know it. Here was my rationale. Candy Land was the name of a store. They had little gummy bears that I love, and I wanted it. So our jobs aren't hard, and I know that. Right, right. And I knew that if I tried to do a show knowing that I hadn't gotten the candy that I wanted, I wouldn't be giving you the show that you deserve. Right? Yeah. But J, man, you don't want me to resent you for depriving me of candy. The three of us work very hard to pretend like our jobs are hard and important. And when you choose candy over doing them, it really drives home, like, oh, no. The fiction's been eroded away. Right. So I think some of the more salient points you may have missed. So I'll start back at the beginning. I did want the candy. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if I. How was it? Yeah, it was very good. I got some caramel corn. It was like. Call you, like, Yummo Snack or something like that. It was fantastic.

[Justin McElroy]

It was called Yum O Snack Snackaleen.

[Travis McElroy]

Or something like that.

[Justin McElroy]

Wow.

[Travis McElroy]

It was great. And then they had, like, a Bomb Pop flavored taffy. I got that for the kids. And some chocolate rocks. You love those.

[Justin McElroy]

If later on. If later on in the show, Justin's falling behind in the choreography a little bit, just know it's because that was the section of the rehearsal that he missed for the candy.

[Travis McElroy]

That's very true. I will say it's a lovely shop, though, and you should be proud. St. Paul. I don't know why my brothers are so against supporting local businesses. I'm just trying to buy the candy I can with the time that I have on this earth. Yeah. I like my local businesses on wheels moving around, around to wherever I am instead of me having to leave where I am and go to them. Justin, that's a really good point. So is there candy? Food trucks. I'm locking that in tmtmtm, you can't. I'm an avid disc golfer, and I need something cool to say or do when I hit an ace, which is basically when you get a hole in one. What are some cool things I can say or do when I get an ace? That's from Ace Venturer. I'll try again. Ace Venturer in Apple Valley.

[Justin McElroy]

Are you here?

[Travis McElroy]

Hey. Yeah, hey, what's up?

[Justin McElroy]

Sorry, like, sit. Can we try that one more time?

[Travis McElroy]

Are you here? Okay, cool.

[Justin McElroy]

No, I'm sorry. There were, like, nine people.

[Travis McElroy]

I think some people were excited about Apple Valley.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, we can be neutral or excited about a place. Don't shit on Apple Valley. I don't know anything about it, but people live there.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm sure we can. We can knock this one out of.

[Travis McElroy]

The park as easy as. We could score an ace 100% of the time. Yeah, I thought you guys would say that. That's what you all don't know about us is when we are not podcasting, like, every second. We're not podcasting, flinging that frizz.

[Justin McElroy]

We're frolfing left and right, slinging them, gang flinging.

[Travis McElroy]

Embarrassing. I knew that that would be easy. That's something we could have done in our first 700 episodes. So I've decided to up the difficulty with the following question. I'm a wedding photographer, and as you can imagine, I end up saying the phrase, okay, now kiss a lot. It gets repetitive. I want to mix things up. So do you have any alternative phrases or things I can say to get couples to kiss? That's from macking in Minneapolis. Are you here? Okay, so what I am suggesting to you guys is I only want phrases that work for both. Put it in there. No. Okay, so, right, that's. I warned everyone that he would do that, and he has.

[Justin McElroy]

Now, can we be serious now?

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you. Thank you. Smooched.

[Justin McElroy]

That's cool. It's gonna be a lot easier to do the disc golf one than the one where you tell two people to kiss. So I do think focusing maybe first step on what can you say to two people to make them kiss. That will not get you in jail.

[Travis McElroy]

I'll tell you what it is. I didn't expect the tents to be tripping me up as much as it has, but it's very hard to celebrate something in the past and also encourage something in the future.

[Justin McElroy]

That is the main challenge. You can't say smooched it because they haven't yet.

[Travis McElroy]

That's how you smooch it. No, no.

[Justin McElroy]

Show me how you smooch it.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, let me.

[Justin McElroy]

That's my favorite. I love the original Smash Bros, but every time Captain Falcon hits that B special, that's how you smooch it.

[Travis McElroy]

What about Smooch City?

[Justin McElroy]

Smooch City is pretty good.

[Travis McElroy]

Smooch City is pretty good. Smooch City. Yeah. I mean, smooching doesn't mean anything in the golf context. We all understand that's just a sound. This is just a celebratory. It doesn't have to relate to golf. Frisbee golf. Excuse me. How offensive. But it just has to sound celebratory enough that you would yell it upon a successful eighth.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, most jubilant sort of exaltations are usually not sport specific. Like, you're rarely, like, basketball the shit out of that one.

[Travis McElroy]

Now that I've hit an ace, I want to watch two people kiss.

[Justin McElroy]

Now, hold on. Travis is on to a little life hack here, because you can be like, hit that ace. Hit that ace is not bad because hit is both a command and also a past tense reference.

[Travis McElroy]

French that ace.

[Justin McElroy]

French. I don't think the. I'm not a wedding photographer. I don't think you have to specify the depth of insertion of the kiss that you're taking a picture of.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I want to. This one is a little bit wordier, but what about today you've shown us all how it's done, and I can't wait to see what's next. And then if it's with the wedding, you start going like, huh, let him.

[Justin McElroy]

Let him cook.

[Travis McElroy]

That was the whole recipe.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, shit.

[Travis McElroy]

I guess what I'm confused about, Justin, is say. I'm saying this. I hit an ace. And then I say, today you've shown us all how it's done, and I can't wait to see what comes out. I admitted early on we were having some tense issues. No, this. Hey, this is actually. And we rarely have this a pronouns issue. Yeah, I made the A's, and someone else showed me how it's done. Is my dad there, who taught me to play? How about this? Disc golf? Okay. All right. Today I think we've all seen pretty good how it's done. I love it.

[Justin McElroy]

Justin was like, we're gonna have a tense issue. I'm gonna lean on that as hard as I fucking possibly can.

[Travis McElroy]

Today. I think we've all seen together how it's done, and I think this is the moment we've all been waiting for. I think just to run it back to if this is a singular line of wedding photography, if you imply the moment you've been waiting for is getting to see them kiss, that's deeply upsetting.

[Justin McElroy]

How about this?

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, how about this?

[Justin McElroy]

And it depends. I think it works in either situation, depending on the sort of emphasis that you put on it, which is, you know, that's what I want to see.

[Travis McElroy]

It's the. Okay, I got to see it. No, no, no. You know, that's what I gotta see. Everyone's gonna look around like, what did we do?

[Justin McElroy]

What did he like to see? You know what I wanna see versus you know what I wanna see.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, okay. What about this? In that line? Okay, big moment. That's cool.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, man, Travis, you blew it wide open. This is not only a great catchphrase for when you have a moment of athletic achievement, it's a N to any kind of athletic event. You make a big three pointer to win the game, you stop.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Big moment.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, just internalize that. I'm gonna take a mental picture of this. So I remember it on my failure days that I've always been great. And I don't need every day to be great. And also I need you two to kiss now. Okay. Was all of that out loud? Shit. You sink a hole in one with the Frisbee. Sorry. Disc. And then after you sync the whole one, you look at the next play. You say on your tempo, and then you walk away.

[Justin McElroy]

So you've changed the rules of the game.

[Travis McElroy]

No, no, no. The game is fair. So this is a celebratory phrase, but it's a little more braggadocious. Keeps it a little more.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, but no, I think a celebratory phrase must be delivered as soon as the disc goes in the chain.

[Travis McElroy]

Hole or not the disc goes in the hole. You look at the next player on.

[Justin McElroy]

Your tempo that fast?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

That's a power move.

[Travis McElroy]

You don't even look to see if it goes in. Right. Like when you're ready and then it goes in. Yeah, when you're ready is probably. When you're ready is good. It's actually a little.

[Justin McElroy]

Is it good to make an athletic achievement and say when you're ready?

[Travis McElroy]

But it's like you're ready for their turn. Cause you know yours is gonna go in the hole. Yeah, this isn't legally binding, you know. What do you think about get to the hole, Travis? I don't think hole. You have a lot of bad ide. You said when you're ready after hitting a hole in one. You also said you've shown me how to do it. Which, you know what? If you're picturing that directed up to the heavens about your walk with Christ, that's great. That actually works really well. I can't take the credit. He showed me how to do it. Yeah, I'm disc golfing with the Lord.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, hey. Plant one on the hole. Christ.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, if you put a comma in there, plant one on the. Oh, Christ. Come on. This is the moment I've been waiting for.

[Justin McElroy]

All right, well, when you're ready, I do think the best option is something of a sort of circus ringmaster of now the biggest and now the moment we've all been waiting for. No, you can't say that you hit.

[Travis McElroy]

The ace or you're trying to get him kissed and you say, this is the greatest show and you just announce it. Yeah, that actually doesn't work if you're watching someone kiss. I said it out loud and I. Does a fanfare work? Could you give either situation a bup, Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, Kiss, kiss, kiss. Now, if you do that, okay, if you're a wedding photographer and you've done all the other shit and then you're like, bump, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. They're going to get it, I think.

[Justin McElroy]

Can you establish amongst your cohorts a sort of disc golf Persona that you call Dr. Kiss? And then when you get one in the chains, I don't know, but it's going to make our jobs way easier. It's going to give us access. It's going to give us access to a lot more kissing based vernacular.

[Travis McElroy]

How about another question?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, sure.

[Travis McElroy]

My dad has recently started a semi popular fishing Instagram and it started getting recognized in our small hometown. How does he deal with his new fishing fame? And how do I deal with my new Nepo baby status? That's from Fishing for Compliments. Are you here? Hello. Hello. I can't believe you came. I'm so honored.

[Justin McElroy]

We're such big, big fans of your daddy's Fish Channel. First of all, we were just watching backstage.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, we're hooked.

[Justin McElroy]

Good, good, good. Correct.

[Travis McElroy]

We grew up in the harsh limelight of local fame, as you know. It's true. We dealt with a lot of people telling us that they used to listen to our dad a long time ago. Or asking us if our dad's still on the air. Or asking us if our dad's still alive. So we're. We know what this is like.

[Justin McElroy]

Or asking if our dad can get Them tickets to the big Billy Ray Cyrus concert.

[Travis McElroy]

And. Yeah, of course he can.

[Justin McElroy]

But he won't.

[Travis McElroy]

But he won't.

[Justin McElroy]

You can't have that kind of. It's the access that's the issue. It's the access that's the issue. Because now we have an even more famous dad. That makes it sound like we got a new, different. Our own dad escalated in fame entirely thanks to us.

[Travis McElroy]

But.

[Justin McElroy]

What I've seen still counts.

[Travis McElroy]

There's a lot of discussion these days about, like, Nepo babies and stuff. And what I've seen is oftentimes like, Nepo baby, why he laughs. I haven't gotten to the punchline yet. Oftentimes, what Nebo babies will do. You can laugh whenever you want. That's true. For the record, I'm scared. Me. I'm big into it. And Neba babies will try to swing hard away while still being in the industry, but hard away from, like, what their parents did to set out on their own. So what if you started carrying around a fishbowl with a live fish in it, right? Which I think is the opposite of fishing.

[Justin McElroy]

That's right. It is.

[Travis McElroy]

Travis, you define the fish, because fishing is getting the fish and pulling it out of the water. And you're like, this fish stays in the water.

[Justin McElroy]

You ride on the bowl. Not for dad.

[Travis McElroy]

Not this one. Daddy, I'm working hard to keep this fish alive. This guy is protected. Dad, the fish you'll never catch. Oh, that's gotta be.

[Justin McElroy]

Build a little outpost in the neighborhood pond with a harpoon gun slung over your shoulder. And when someone comes by, say, don't.

[Travis McElroy]

Even think about it. Start training the fish to use the harpoon gun when you're not around. Cause then what are people gonna say?

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, they're only in charge of the pond because their dad's a famous fishing influencer. No, that doesn't make any fucking sense.

[Travis McElroy]

Can you cash in on your dad's name and success before he does? Can you start selling branded lures? So that's Rick's for all of them I'm gonna throw out. It just popped in my head. But call the brand Finfluencer.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And then use that. Or you don't. Or don't. I guess that was the lukewarm, cold reaction. I get it. I thought Finfluencer was really.

[Justin McElroy]

Sometimes we do a B testing on you all, and we appreciate your.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, Our metric is usually this. If a room of people who have paid to be here because they enjoy us doesn't enjoy the joke, we tend to let it go. That's about as warm of a reception as you can hope for. Honest. Cause it's like fish have fins. Right? Okay, I got it now. That's really good. I don't think you do, Justin. No, I got it. And the word influencer.

[Justin McElroy]

Save us, Justin. Rescue us, Justin, please.

[Travis McElroy]

Here's another question. My partner and I are in our early 40s. One of our hobbies is playing pinball. And it's going to the point where we now own 30 pinball machines and we each have 60 arms. We want to invite our co workers from our new jobs over to our place, but we are not sure how to address the pinball machine in the room.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm sorry, do you mean the 30 pinball machines? Yeah, in the room.

[Travis McElroy]

If we ever invite people over without disclosing the pinball machines and they arrive at essentially an arcade shoved into a house. That seems awkward to explain in the moment. However, if we tell people we have all these pinball machines, we are afraid we will seem like real weirdos and people will never come over in the first place. What should we do to ease people into our home? And that's from flipping out in Minnesota. Are you here?

[Justin McElroy]

Hello?

[Travis McElroy]

Hi.

[Justin McElroy]

Listen, please don't be scared.

[Travis McElroy]

Before we make any jokes, I wanna make one thing clear. If you love pinball machines that much and they would think you were weird for having pinball machines, you don't need them as friends.

[Justin McElroy]

But thank you. That's a very very. But no one's going to be like if you ask, do you want to come hang? I got 30 fucking pinball machines. No one's going to be like no way man. What do you live in arcade?

[Travis McElroy]

That would actually rule.

[Justin McElroy]

That fucking rules.

[Travis McElroy]

What I love about that is I often finish a round on a pinball machine and think I got about as much out of that storyline as I was going to. I hope there's more pinball machines with in depth plot. But what's that right next to it? Why is the Addams Family. I can't wait to find out what happens on that 2 by 6 inch screen. Okay, I actually do do that. That's true. The problem. The problem. Okay, I've been doing a little bit of this with like little arcade cabinet in my basement that I've been messing around with.

[Justin McElroy]

Again, you didn't use the plural. Stand on your business and lead by example. You have many arcade machines in your business?

[Travis McElroy]

I have a bunch of little rinky dink arcade machines. I'm making myself.

[Justin McElroy]

Some are taller than I am.

[Travis McElroy]

They're great, some of them.

[Justin McElroy]

That's what I'm saying.

[Travis McElroy]

These arcade machines. Okay. Put the stuff in them. They're incredible.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

I just don't want to seem bougie. All right. I made them. Oh, that's a real issue.

[Justin McElroy]

If you say, I have 30 pinball machines, I'll be like, fucking 1% bougie, asshole.

[Travis McElroy]

You do need to clarify. Cause you said this in the extra details in your question that you don't have kids. Lead with that. Cause that immediately made me understand how you're able to have 30 pinball machines and just they can't all be on at the same time. Right. Just to clarify. Or else you'd lose your mind. Right, Right. Okay. I think that with pinball machines, arcade machines, it's a similar problem you're going to have is that when someone comes over, even if they're excited about the machines, there comes that moment afterwards where you have to be like, well, I'm going to go some other place. Because being in the room with you and watching you decide what to do in here, I am going to kind of lurk around the corner in case you get stuck with any of the machines and how they work or don't work. And then I'll spring out of nowhere like. And pretend like I wasn't watching you, even though I was watching you.

[Justin McElroy]

Now, if you do make that part of your sales pitch, the allure of 30 pinball machines will be lost on me and I will not want to attend that function, unfortunately.

[Travis McElroy]

But what I do love, because what you've established here is you could have so many people over. Because for me, as much fun as I'm having, playing a pinball machine is exactly a polar opposite of the lack of fun I have watching someone else play a pinball machine. Yeah. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Wow.

[Travis McElroy]

Nice move. Cool, man. Oh, there it goes. And so having another pinball machine that I can use while someone else is using a pinball machine would alleviate a lot of the boredom from taking turns. Okay. You get a friend to come over and you tell your other friends, everybody, your coworkers, you're having a pinball party. And then you invite a friend to come over and this friend has a T shirt and on the. Or like a button down polo shirt. And on it it says, Pete's Periodic Pinball. And it's a pinball rental service, right? So everybody shows up for the pinball party. And if it goes really good, then you tell people like, hey, good news, I decided to buy out. That would be if it doesn't go good, right? If everybody's like, this sucks.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

You could be like, yeah, it does, but you guys can't come over anymore. But, dang, I'm really gonna have a word with Pete. I thought it'd be way more fun and cool. Guys, you're not gonna believe this.

[Justin McElroy]

Pete's periodic pinball burned down, and they said I could keep all the machines.

[Travis McElroy]

Can you believe that shit? It turned out my uncle worked at Pete's period pinball, and he died, and now the machines are mine.

[Justin McElroy]

There was a codicil in his will that if I could get 100,000 points on the Addams Family machine and long.

[Travis McElroy]

Story short, and I got trapped in the machine for a while. I was shrunk down. I had to run around for the bit. Anyways, you don't want to get bored with all of this. See you Friday.

[Justin McElroy]

Everything we said is way more normal than just saying. Yeah. I'm a pinball enthusiast who has 30 pinball machines.

[Travis McElroy]

There's way weirder shit people could have in their house. Yeah, you need. Okay, you need a rube before that rube that has wood in it. Like an airlock. Like an airlock, exactly. You need them to acclimate to the idea that you own a pinball table. Right. You need them to, like, compress. I mean, ideally, you'd have, I think, if my math is correct, like, eight rooms where it's like one pinball machine, two pinball machines, four pinball machines.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. It has to follow them and like, Fibonacci sequence.

[Travis McElroy]

Fair enough, fair enough, fair enough. The ideal. Freaking out. You go back to eight for a while, I think. Yeah. I think the ideal is two machines. Because then it's not like you inherited it from your grandpa. Right. You liked it a lot. You got it, too. And you let them acclimate to that and you judge their response because it will be exponential. Two machines in the room and then a real beefy extension cord running out of the room through a hole in the wall with a lot of noise and lights coming from underneath the door, and you wait for them to ask about it. I'm like, oh, yeah, you want to see the other 28? I got him in rotation. No big deal. This is where I keep the ones that are chill. These pinball machines can hang. Would you like another question?

[Justin McElroy]

How about a segment?

[Travis McElroy]

I want a Munch Squad. I want to Munch Squad. Welcome to Munch Squad's, a podcast within a podcast profiling the latest in greatest in brand eating. And this One's going to drive you wild if you're a gamer.

[Justin McElroy]

Hell yeah, man. I love all that shit.

[Travis McElroy]

I got two stories. One for the gamers, one for the non gamers. Let's start with the gamers tale.

[Justin McElroy]

Finally. Finally we come for our, Our rights are considered first.

[Travis McElroy]

Finally someone's thinking about us. I, I let's, let's see. Can we see the, the goods? The, the goods? Yeah. Huh? Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

God, man.

[Travis McElroy]

Krispy Kreme is featuring. You're being driven wild by desire. It's okay. I know I'm just once again reminded and I know I comment on this every time that without fail they'll be like, all right, we made some cool donuts and here's just some losers.

[Justin McElroy]

You can't have 12 cool donuts in the same box.

[Travis McElroy]

You can lose your fun ones. Okay. You gotta have one for grandma. Sure. She don't play games. She wouldn't understand a Pac Man.

[Justin McElroy]

They get scared of the ghost.

[Travis McElroy]

They went so hard.

[Justin McElroy]

Ready players? Crispy. Yeah, that's what we call ourselves. Ready players?

[Travis McElroy]

Krispy Kreme today announced an amazing collaboration with Bandai Namco Entertainment America Inc. For Pac Man's 45th anniversary celebrating the global cultural icon with all new donuts inspired by the classic game. Fans will want to chop these new donuts before it. You want what? Chop these new donuts. Chop these new donuts before it's game over? Yeah, like before you die. Trust me guys, if you gamers get up to heaven and St. Pete's like did you eat them donuts? And you're like no. He'll send you straight to hell. Available beginning today for a limited time at participating US shops, the Krispy Kreme X Pac man collection features three new donuts in a nostalgic custom Pac man game dozen box. That's the sweetest Pac man level ever. Including the Pac man party donut. It's an original glazed donut piped with yellow buttercream flavored icing sprinkled with celebrations sprinkles and top with a Pac man piece.

[Justin McElroy]

I would love a more mature gamer fare.

[Travis McElroy]

How about a Team Ghost doughnut? An unglazed shell donut filled with chocolate flavored creme, dipped in black icing and decorated with black Pac man mace and topped with a Team Ghost piece. Can I just say I love how they've left a little shard of cream there to let you know if you're a little. Cream.

[Justin McElroy]

There's cream in this?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Don't get it twisted. It's shit and Cream.

[Justin McElroy]

Also, inevitably, inevitably, in every box that Dunkin Donuts puts together, there's always one donut that, you know, the donut chefs at the actual Krispy Kreme brick and mortar location see for the first time and go, God damn. Fuck.

[Travis McElroy]

Really?

[Justin McElroy]

That's so many different things.

[Travis McElroy]

Ah. Hey, Derek, you're the ones gonna take care of those, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll do the ones that require steady hands. Don't worry. And then we got lastly, the Strawberry Power Berry Donut. It's an unglazed shell donut featuring strawberry flavored cream dipped in red icing and topped with white sprinkles and green leaf icing. That looks incredible. And there's no way it looks like that when I buy it at this point, it will look exactly like that, but it will be as hard as a rock. Pac man is one of the most recognized video game characters of all time and has made an impact on the world by connecting with people across ages and borders and genders. I swear to God, that's what it says. A big swing through the power of play for over 45 years. Just as Krispy Kreme connects people through the sweetness of enjoying and sharing donuts.

[Justin McElroy]

Wow, that's so cool that they can be like Pac man. Fixed everything and so did we.

[Travis McElroy]

Don't get. Hey, listen. Krispy Kreme is also celebrating thusly. They're aiming to give guests 45,000 free original glazed donuts between May 12th and 8th. If you can eat them before a ghost gets you. Yeah, it's during hot light hours, which is 7 to 9 and 5 to 7, or whenever the hot light is shining. And if you can, in honor of Pac man, like a sex thing, donuts are fresh. In honor of Pac Man's love of fruits. If fans help achieve this high score, they'll unlock the return of Krispy Kreme's popular strawberry glazed donut, which the brand last offered for a limited time. And August 2023. That's right. So they're holding. Okay, they're holding the strawberry frosted donut hostage. Yeah, until you eat off our fat asses. 45,000 donuts. Free donuts. They want you to eat 45,000 free donuts, and then they will give you back the strawberry donut that you fucking love. What? While they just sit and watch as America eats 45,000 donuts? Yeah, yeah, dance for us. Eat the donuts. We'll give you more donuts. You know, Dave Skin has got to get up on this.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, give Us some Dave skin. These.

[Travis McElroy]

All new Pac man donuts are sweetest in multiplayer mode. So press start on a dozen and chomp on a maze of flavors with family, friends and coworkers, said Dave Skinna.

[Justin McElroy]

Did you mean to say that, like, count Donut, or did it just.

[Travis McElroy]

It's hard to not say Dave Skenna like count donut. Partnering with Ben, Nai, Namco and Pac man is a new high score of sweetness. They already used that one. Today marks an incredible milestone as we celebrate Pac Man's Legacy and his 45 years of impact across genders. And this Pride Month, we must celebrate everything that Pac man has given us. No one has done more. Oh, my God. Hey, do you think that next they'll partner with Sega and make me a donut that looks like Sonic's foot that I can eat like I've always dreamed of? Sonic's foot.

[Justin McElroy]

Hold on, hold on. Your verbiage is confusing.

[Travis McElroy]

I want to eat Sonic's foot. Okay, stop. Especially if it's cream filled. Okay, but in.

[Justin McElroy]

Do you want to eat Sonic's red shoe that his foot always lives inside?

[Travis McElroy]

That's his foot. Okay, are you saying. Wait, Griffin. Sorry. Are you saying that there are images out there somewhere of his foot without a shoe on?

[Justin McElroy]

We have worked.

[Travis McElroy]

Don't you dare, Paul. Don't you dare, Paul.

[Justin McElroy]

I'll walk off. I'm done. We.

[Travis McElroy]

We would need to cover ourselves in tarps like we're on the front row of a Gallagher show before we start showing uncensored Sonic feet up here. Yeah, not for free. Hey, that's on our Patreon. Hey, Paul, can I very briefly show the other image? This is more of a Munch Squad Junior. And I just want to let everybody know that Mars has launched the Twist Sneakerdoodle, the flavor fans have been waiting for. Can I just say real quick. Yeah. I forgot that Mars was the name of the company that makes candy. So I saw Mars launches and Twix in the same thing, and I was like, did we fucking put candy on Mars? This is the press release that feels the most like somebody's like, well, I have to do it legally, but I don't know what to write. And here's what they came up with. Twix.

[Justin McElroy]

Good start.

[Travis McElroy]

Proudly part of Mars, which is true, is launching its latest product innovation, Twix Snickerdoodle. Inspired by the worn cinnamon sugar goodness of a classic snickerdoodle cookie, this new release taps into the deep well of nostalgia. Hey, what's that mean? What could that I mean, what could it mean? It goes in the deep well of nostalgia while embracing the current tastes and trends that fans crave. Cool. Yeah, that's cool. It transcends time and space. Guys, here's what I'm trying to get across to you. Twix Snickerdoodle takes everything that fans love about Twix. Yeah. Crunchy cookie. Yeah. Gooey caramel, smooth milk chocolate. There's two of them. And then it levels it up with a cinnamon sugar swirl of Snickerdoodle flavored caramel. The result is a bold new bar that brings cozy cookie energy to the candy aisle.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, shit.

[Travis McElroy]

Travis.

[Justin McElroy]

Travis is being penetrated from nostalgia from the past and energy from what may be.

[Travis McElroy]

Where did I go?

[Justin McElroy]

Here at the nexus of past and future is Twix.

[Travis McElroy]

I've seen it all. Twix. Snickerdoodle is the third cookie inspired flavor to join the Twix lineup, right behind the hit debut of Twix Cookie Dough and Twix. Cookies and clam and what? And what? Clam? I thought you said clam. Yeah, Cookies and clam. Now this. I know it's a little bit unorthodox, but I've got a pitch for a flavor combination. You guys are going to go. Now they come to Martin Twirliger, and they say, martin, marketing president of Mars Wrigley North America, we need a quote about Twix Snickerdoodle. And he said, I have nothing. And they say, please, please, Martin, you must have something. He said, well, I do have one quote that I swear I never use because it can be used for any Twix product, and it would surely show that I had given up on the Twix. Please, Martin, we're desperate. We're going to print. Okay, if you insist.

[Justin McElroy]

He gets out a small wooden chest from under his bed, two keys from underneath it.

[Travis McElroy]

He calls his. He calls at the same time he calls his ex wife to bring in the key that she has around her neck he gave her 30 years ago. He opens it up. Because Twix is the iconic brand of two, we're always looking for ways to double down on flavor. Yeah, man. Twix Snickerdoodle gives fans a new twist on the layers they already love. It's the perfect balance of familiar and trendy flavors, and we know it's gonna be a fan favorite. And then he turned to dust. Yeah. Anyway, that's the Munch squad. Thank you very much.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you.

[Travis McElroy]

And I know that I just talked a lot, but I'm Gonna talk a little bit more. I recently got a new boss at my very corporate job. During their introduction to our team, they mentioned they have been a contestant on a hit television program, Naked and Afraid Twice. My question is, should I watch? I fear that seeing the bare ass of the person who determines my financial future would ruin the professional relationship immediately. Especially if they do poorly in a funny or sad way. And that's from Mooned by my manager in Minneapolis. Are you here? Hi. I've never watched the show, but I'm strongly under the impression that there's a lot of blurring and censoring going on.

[Justin McElroy]

You know, I think you can show an ass, dude, no problem. I've seen ass on Survivor for sure. They don't show front stuff, but I've seen ass after ass on Survivor.

[Travis McElroy]

You sound like a 12 year old boy bragging to his friends. Yeah, I've seen ass on Survivor.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, your parents don't let you watch Survivor? That's a shame. I saw Mike White's ass.

[Travis McElroy]

It was week eight or not something. It was bad, but it was an ass for sure. Mike. Dude, write it down. Write it down on the list. I would say that I realized that being worried that the people around us are gonna do poorly in a funny or sad way is just part of being alive. Beautiful. You can't run from that. People are going to do poorly in funny and sad ways every day around you. And it's your job to figure out how to deal with that. You can't put it off. You can't run from. You can't be either naked or afraid. You have to just embrace it. Yes. I would also point out that this seems to me like a classic corporate power move. Because here's what I'm thinking. This is your new boss. In a very kind of corporate business, there's no way they would bring up in an icebreaker that they were on Naked and Afraid twice.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, come on.

[Travis McElroy]

Come on. They didn't like do. They weren't proud of it in some way. There was a story in the newspaper about it. I guarantee you. Local business fella does bad, does bad in a both funny and sad way. On Naked. They did it a second time. They came back for a second episode.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

How bad could the first episode have been? Yeah, that they were convinced. I'm saying both times they were like, oh, you're trying to call out the big dog. You want me to come out? I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little less afraid this time, but a lot more naked. Do you think I'm gonna turn inside out?

[Justin McElroy]

Do you think when you come back for the second season of Naked and Afraid, there's a moment where they blast all the clothes off you? Like at the beginning of a Metroid game where it's like, oh, my.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, no.

[Justin McElroy]

I made those clothes. Last time on Naked and Afraid.

[Travis McElroy]

What? What's that? A guy with a knife. Ah.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm scared again, too. Fuck.

[Travis McElroy]

I can't believe this. Dracula's here. Fuck. Oh, no. You guys really owed your game for this one. It would be a cool thing to just save for the appropriate moment. You just pull it out at the right time.

[Justin McElroy]

You're saying you don't drop it in two truths and a lie, no matter how bad you want to. God. So bad.

[Travis McElroy]

So bad. No, no, no, no, no. Don't let it go. And then. Yes. No. I think that once you are being terminated on the off chance it happens to some of us, that's one that you could bust out. And in closing, Philip, I've seen your bare butt. Or you could once again do an Uno reverse of that power move when they're like, hey, you really didn't deliver on that proposal I asked you to do? And you're like, yeah, would you say, philip, I kind of showed my ass?

[Justin McElroy]

So I don't think you should extort your boss because of their.

[Travis McElroy]

Because of their. Griffin, I deliver that information without asking for anything in return. I think that's slander. Extortion. You expect compensation in some way.

[Justin McElroy]

You've got Naked and afraid is nude art. And do you have a problem with nude art?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Really good question.

[Justin McElroy]

Griffin, your boss participated in nude art. Grow up a little bit.

[Travis McElroy]

We're all naked underneath here. We're all pretty afraid. I'd say it sounds like your boss is naked and you're afraid of the beautiful human body. But one of the great gifts from the Big Guy. I'll remind you, dad. Sorry, Juice.

[Justin McElroy]

I forget sometimes. You're saying God gave us our incredible nude bodies in the Garden of Eden, Griffin.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Read the Bible. The original. Naked and Afraid when they were cast out after eating the apple. I've got some. I've got some literature backstage I want to show you.

[Justin McElroy]

I can't wait.

[Travis McElroy]

About nude art. You're gonna love this shit. Why don't we have. Dude, I've got some pictures of every.

[Justin McElroy]

Cherish has so many pictures of Survivor butts to show us backstage. I'm over the moon.

[Travis McElroy]

I had it printed out in a book. It was beautifully bound in leather. It's Lovely. You'll love it. It's real human butts.

[Justin McElroy]

On that note, maybe we should go backstage and look at Travis's nude Survivor collectibles.

[Travis McElroy]

All right, so here's the deal. We're going to take a break. You are going to go use not.

[Justin McElroy]

For this was pre planned. This is not. We're not going to go look at Survivor nude at all.

[Travis McElroy]

Don't let them fool you. They both got so revved up. Okay, listen. Don't listen to Travis. Listen to me, okay? We're really going to take a bathroom break. And you are. And you can buy a poster. They're out in the lobby, right? They're by Smart Jethro.

[Justin McElroy]

It's one of my favorite.

[Travis McElroy]

Kicks ass. It's your only chance to get them. Go get a coin, go use the bathroom. Go send your question, and then we'll be back with you in just a minute. Okay? Thank you very much. Is that a movie? You know, Griffin?

[Justin McElroy]

Yes, Travis?

[Travis McElroy]

No one really knows how stamps work.

[Justin McElroy]

No one. They're little pictures that make mail go places crazy.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I don't know if they have microchips in them that are programmed to deliver the mail to places.

[Justin McElroy]

And my question is, what doesn't have microchips in them?

[Travis McElroy]

Now, in 2025, macrochips don't have microchips in them.

[Justin McElroy]

That's absolutely true. How do I get these little magic pictures, Trev?

[Travis McElroy]

Well, Griffin, man, am I glad you asked, because for a long time, you'd have to go somewhere.

[Justin McElroy]

That sucks.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, man. Going somewhere. Ugh. The worst. But luckily, with stamps.com, you don't have to go anywhere. You can do it right from home.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, that sounds way better.

[Travis McElroy]

And especially in this day and age where so many people are doing business from home and shipping out a bunch of stuff like, I don't know, invoices or, I don't know, maybe they're making jewelry out of stuff they find around the house.

[Justin McElroy]

Yep.

[Travis McElroy]

They have to ship a lot of spoon.

[Justin McElroy]

That's me.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I know you make a lot of spoon jewelry, and I appreciate it.

[Justin McElroy]

I call it spoonery.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, you have used up all your spoons, though. And you eat cereal with a fork. I've been meaning to talk to you about that.

[Justin McElroy]

It's wet. It's a big wet mess.

[Travis McElroy]

But with stamps.com, it's not a mess. Good.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I'm glad to hear that.

[Travis McElroy]

Because you can take care of it wherever you are. And they even have a mobile app, and it's so easy. And they have up to 89% off rates on USPS and UPS. That's like.

[Justin McElroy]

That's almost 100%.

[Travis McElroy]

Basically if you were to round up. Yeah, I guess so. Don't waste time worrying about being a postage expert or standing in line to drop off letters and packages. Let stamps.com do what they do best so you can do what you do better. Took me a second to parse that sentence.

[Justin McElroy]

It makes sense. It's just you should have done a dry run on it.

[Travis McElroy]

I know, but I don't like doing things dry like cereal. So go to stamps.com and use code mybrother to sign up for a special offer. No contract. Cancel Anytime that stamps.com code my brother. All one word.

[Justin McElroy]

You remember when Bill jumped his skateboard over the fire pit in the backyard during the big fourth of July barbecue Baby back rib bash?

[Travis McElroy]

I kind of remember it. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, I took a pic. I took 100 pictures of it because Bill died. Bill died from that.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. But doing what he loved.

[Justin McElroy]

Doing what he loved jumping over the big fire during the baby back barbecue. And that picture is one evidence for court. But two, a special precious summer memory.

[Travis McElroy]

And it is weird that there's foul play suspected. When everybody watched him like say I'm going to jump over that fire and everybody was like, no, please don't do that. I mean I'm going to do it.

[Justin McElroy]

We bill had 100 beers.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

So I think that that is maybe the fallout. But we don't have that in photographic form. Just the awesome stunt he last act on earth.

[Travis McElroy]

You can see in the photo I'm looking at it now that he had an additional 20 beers in his cargo pants pockets and that might have contributed.

[Justin McElroy]

He didn't get much. I said over the big fire. It was really pretty smack dab right there.

[Travis McElroy]

That was the plan originally.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. So anyway, Aura Frames is the best way to commemorate Bill and all of your favorite summertime memories. It is the best digital photo frame according to Wirecutter and they know what they're talking about. And according to me, Griffin McElroy, this is the best digital photo frame. We have given these out to so many people because it's super easy. There's unlimited storage. You add as many photos and videos as you can find. It's super simple to set it up. You just plug it in and you share away. And if you have people in your life who are not the most tech savvy but you want to see pictures of your kids or your cool classic car collection or Bill who died, you can get all of that stuff uploaded for them and manage their library for them. And then they don't have to worry about a thing. They just get all these precious memories and they're beautiful. Aura frame.

[Travis McElroy]

So, Griffin, if I wanted to memorialize the amateur daredevil in my life, how would I do that?

[Justin McElroy]

Well, you can start reliving your favorite memories by visiting auraframes.com for a limited time. Listeners can get $35 off on their best selling Carver mat frame. That's a U R A frames.com, promo code. Mybrother. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, they always do, don't they?

[Justin McElroy]

That's true, Trav. Hey, we got some live shows coming up, friends. We're going to be in Atlanta next here at the end of the month, we're going to be doing My Bim Bam. We're going to be doing Taz Taz versus Popeye, which is going to be unhinged. We're going to be doing stuff at Dragon Con. We're also going to be doing some shows later in the year in Texas, Utah and California.

[Travis McElroy]

We just announced in Texas we're doing Adventure Zone versus Hercules.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes, I'm very excited about that. All our tasks.

[Travis McElroy]

You won't be disappointed.

[Justin McElroy]

I hope it'll be more Disney focused, less Sorbo. I mean, there will probably be a fair amount of Sorbo content, but not in any kind of way that endorses the fella. Although.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, God, no. Tickets for all the a as the one running it. The exact opposite.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. Tickets for all our shows are on sale now and you can get those tickets and find out all the info at Bit Ly Macroytours.

[Travis McElroy]

We've also got a back to school sale going on with select Items up to 40% off. We've got back to school bundles there and a free mystery pin with purchases of $30 or more and 10% of all proceeds this month are going to World Central Kitchen. So go check that out. McElroymerch.com and you know what? Let's get back to the show.

[Justin McElroy]

Bye. I mean, not bye. Don't turn it off. Listen to the rest of the show. But bye from us here in the ads. Bye. Hello, I'm John Luke Roberts and I would love for you to give my.

[Travis McElroy]

Podcast Saunty with John Luke Roberts a try.

[Justin McElroy]

It's basically a parody of every type.

[Travis McElroy]

Of podcast imaginable made up with loads of brilliant comedians.

[Justin McElroy]

It was named the best scripted sketch show by the BBC Audio Drama Awards was a finalist for best comedy podcast at the New York Radio Festival, and it has just been nominated for best comedy at the British Podcast Awards.

[Travis McElroy]

Surely, if there are three things you can trust, they're the BBC, New York and Britain.

[Justin McElroy]

So give SoundEat with John Luke Roberts a go today. Available from Maximum Fun in all the best podcast apps. Hi, I'm Alexis. And I'm Ella. And we're the hosts of Comfort Creatures.

[Travis McElroy]

We could spend the next 28 seconds telling you why you should listen, but instead, here's what our listeners have said about our show. Because really, they do know best. The show is filled with stories and poems and science and friendship and laughter and tears sometimes, but tears that are from your heart, being so filled up with love.

[Justin McElroy]

A cozy show about enthusiasm for animals of all kinds, real and unreal.

[Travis McElroy]

If you greet the dog before the person walking them or wander around the.

[Justin McElroy]

Party looking for the host's cat, this podcast is for you.

[Travis McElroy]

So come for the comfort and stay for Alexis's wild story about waking up to her cat giving birth on top of her. So if that sounds like your cup.

[Justin McElroy]

Of tea or coffee, Ella, we're not all Brits, then join us every [e-mail].

[Travis McElroy]

We haven't checked in in a while. Would you say you're living faster than fear this year?

[Justin McElroy]

I mean, I don't know. I feel like the fear is trying to keep a pace.

[Travis McElroy]

Justin, how you doing? Visa V. Your relative sweet to fear.

[Justin McElroy]

It's cool to start out the act of our show with. Are you afraid we're gonna turn.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm doing great. Thank you for asking.

[Justin McElroy]

We're gonna turn the camera outward towards you all. There's no camera. I don't know why I said that.

[Travis McElroy]

The camera of life.

[Justin McElroy]

We're gonna do audience questions, but before we do that, I like to think that we make an impact like Pac Man.

[Travis McElroy]

We transcend gender.

[Justin McElroy]

We transcend gender here at My Brother.

[Travis McElroy]

My brother and me also. This is the time for our traditional and customary apology to the people who sit in the splash zone of light. I'm so sorry you didn't sign up to be the background players for the audience questions, but damn it, we appreciate you. Yeah, thanks for taking over the team.

[Justin McElroy]

Hello. I saw someone approach. Yeah, you're good. You can approach them. You're second.

[Travis McElroy]

That's okay.

[Justin McElroy]

That's fine.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

You two. Rock, paper, scissors.

[Travis McElroy]

Everyone's so orderly. Okay. Welcome, my friend. Hello. Hi. How's it going? Good. Excellent. Cool. Good to see you. Yeah. Thanks for coming.

[Justin McElroy]

What's your. What is your name?

[Travis McElroy]

My name's Matthew.

[Justin McElroy]

What is your question?

[Travis McElroy]

So I'm staying with my sister currently, and she refuses to buy breakfast food while we're visiting. How do I get my sister to.

[Justin McElroy]

Buy, like, bagels so that we have something for breakfast?

[Travis McElroy]

Is your sister here? No, she's not. Awesome. When you say refuses, like, you've been like, hey, would it be okay to buy some bagel? And she's like, no, it's a consistent problem. It's been brought up before. And, like, we have family gatherings at her house regularly.

[Justin McElroy]

Never buys any breakfast food.

[Travis McElroy]

Could you bring some next time you go bury them around the yard for next year?

[Justin McElroy]

If that was an option, Matthew would.

[Travis McElroy]

No, no, no. I'm saying for future. Like a squirrel, you bury them. And so when you come back, you're like, wait, there's some cinnamon raisin by the fence.

[Justin McElroy]

That's embarrassing, though. If you wouldn't fulfill my one dirty need. So I had to bring my own bagels from home, which I buried in the yard like a dog for some additional reason.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, yeah, Griffin, if you put them under her mattress, they're gonna get flattened.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, fine. Come on.

[Travis McElroy]

Think. They.

[Justin McElroy]

They are doing yard work. So I think I could sneak things into the yard, get some bagel dead drops going. Is your sister not a big bagel, a breakfast eater?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, they don't eat breakfast at all.

[Justin McElroy]

I mean, you could save them from themselves.

[Travis McElroy]

It's. And I'm gonna. Everybody brace yourself. Cause this is the first time you've ever heard this. It's the most important meal of the day. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think you're the bad person for wanting to eat a delicious bagel. I think we all get that. Sometimes you go to people's houses and they don't have diet soda, and it's like, okay.

[Justin McElroy]

It'S too bad that your sibling isn't just a McElroy. Cause anytime we go stay at that dude's house, he's like, remember how you said you liked those Toll House pretzel flips? Three years ago, I found a box of them on ebay for you especially.

[Travis McElroy]

I like to put out a spread for breakfast, get everybody energized for the day. You know, sometimes a simple can of cinnamon rolls, you know, a little. Along with the large pantry of various cereals that you've bought on a whim or professionally.

[Justin McElroy]

Travis.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, Professional critic. I think if you show up with a bag of bagels under your arm, but don't leave them in the Kitchen. Leave them with your personal stuff, and then when you come down for breakfast, you have the bagels underneath your arm already. It's your personal bag. And if anybody gets any ideas. Huh. Isn't that interesting?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. You should be allowed to have a breakfast locker at your citizenship.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

That only you know the passcode to and is full of your favorite special stuff.

[Travis McElroy]

Does breakfast locker fit the bill? Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

Excellent. Thank you so much.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you.

[Justin McElroy]

Hello.

[Travis McElroy]

Hello.

[Justin McElroy]

Hi, my name is Lo, and thank you for waiting in an orderly line. You were first to the mic.

[Travis McElroy]

You were so deferent, but you did defer. Very tasteful. Thank you.

[Justin McElroy]

My Faster than fear this year was joining the local femme armored combat team.

[Travis McElroy]

Hell yeah. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

We have two leagues here. We have a open team, which is the Twin City Wyverns. And then we have the Flowers of Battle, which is the femme team, which I'm joining. And I want to know how to intimidate the other teams.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay. I need. Okay. When you say combat, imagine we know.

[Justin McElroy]

Nothing aside from some pretty badass clips of TikTok that I have seen of this exact sport. Give me sort of a basic rundown.

[Travis McElroy]

How aggressive can you be?

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, so Boo Herd is actually a Ukrainian based sport that is full armor. There's different types of fights between, like duels and stuff like that. But it is like, there's a very. Like, there's a few places you can't hit, like back of the neck, back of the knees, et cetera. But other than that, you are in full armor hitting each other. Okay. Yeah. I can think of two ways, just from what you just said, of how you could become an incredibly intimidating figure in this sport. I only watch one sport and it's hockey. And the only people who wait are.

[Travis McElroy]

There fans of hockey in Minnesota.

[Justin McElroy]

It's the ones who do the stuff you're not supposed to do that the other ones kind of keep an eye out for. Maybe just the back of the leg stuff, though. Back of the neck stuff feels egregious. But if you can be like, oh, better watch out for Low. They do back of the leg stuff.

[Travis McElroy]

What if Low, you showed up to this armored combat event, no armor, and you were like, I ain't even worried about it.

[Justin McElroy]

That's cool. Hey, are you so good that no one's ever gotten you even once? No. Cause Travis's idea.

[Travis McElroy]

Don't try to intimidate them, Low. You should be worried about placating them if you get hit at all. I don't know about you, but me, I'd Be like, how do I convince them? I do want to be part of the league, but I don't like getting hit. I think low, if I were you, I would show up in the armor and never take the armor off and make you find your opponents before they put their armor on. What about go check the back of their neck? You know, like you got a little measuring tape? Like. Oh, nice.

[Justin McElroy]

Just making sure.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, perfect. That's exactly nice. I don't have one of those. A back of a neck, I mean. Anyway, what if you instead of at the event, get them before they put their armor on? Get them way before the event before they put their armor on.

[Justin McElroy]

That's cool.

[Travis McElroy]

And like they wake up and you're there, full armor of the sword. And you say like a low always pays their debts. And you hit them in the chest right then.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, no.

[Travis McElroy]

All right, you're out. I'll see you at the event.

[Justin McElroy]

Is that how it works? If you hit him in the chest, you say you're out? No, the goal is to hit them hard enough that they go down most of the time. Or it's point basis.

[Travis McElroy]

So when they're about to buy my idea. Yeah. When they're about to leave for the event, they open their front door, you throw a big handful of table salt in their eyes, I guess. And then they can't drive there. And it's. And it's like dq.

[Justin McElroy]

That's cool.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, just cut their brake lines. Yeah, there's like 100 ways to fuck up their car.

[Justin McElroy]

And that would be not intimidating. So we're just kind of having fun up here and disregarding the premise of your question.

[Travis McElroy]

And what about double armor? You've got armor on and then you put bigger, thicker armor over it.

[Justin McElroy]

Low, this is gonna be a lot. And I apologize in advance. Can you pretend to be killed during a fight?

[Travis McElroy]

Hold on.

[Justin McElroy]

But then come back to life?

[Travis McElroy]

That would be really good. I don't think you'll have. You'll probably start to get some non believers after a few years. So you probably only need to pull this stunt once every. Yeah. What do you think? 72 months to do it? How about every time you show up, you wear shoes that are one inch taller and so by like the 12th time. Shit. Like, you know, Low, I feel like we've really helped a lot. Do you agree more than usual?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. Thank you so much, Low. Good luck.

[Travis McElroy]

Appreciate you.

[Justin McElroy]

Hello.

[Travis McElroy]

Hi, my friend. How's it going?

[Justin McElroy]

It's going good. I'm Kyle, he him. Hi, Kyle. I just want to say Real quick, Kyle, before you get to your question, that. I appreciate our fans so much for so many reasons, for letting us live this incredible creative life that we get to live and to work together as family. It's so special and so wonderful. But what I love the most is that every live show, you guys always kneel down in the aisles, as they say.

[Travis McElroy]

Don't perceive me.

[Justin McElroy]

And I love. No, you're not.

[Travis McElroy]

You're trying not to block sight lines for everybody else.

[Justin McElroy]

And you all are so thoughtful and amazing.

[Travis McElroy]

So thank you.

[Justin McElroy]

I just wanted to say thank you for that.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, you're good, Reg. Or you don't like standing up for a long time, and I get you, man. Hell, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. Kyle. Hello. Hello. So I'm auditioning for the Minnesota Vikings drumline.

[Travis McElroy]

Hell, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

You were.

[Travis McElroy]

I thought that sentence was gonna end with Vikings, and then I was gonna.

[Justin McElroy]

Be like, I just from the jump. I don't think they call it auditioning. I'm still bulking up for the season. Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm assuming kicker. Kicker. We could agree kicker. Yeah. Okay. I've prepared two monologues in 90 seconds of a song. I didn't look into what they do, but I love acting like a Vikings.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, so you're auditioning for the drum line for the Vikings. Yeah. And so part of the final audition has us playing a solo in front of a panel of judges. That part's normal. The trouble is that this solo is happening on a stage in the middle of the Mall of America open to the public. So I know what to play for judges and other percussionists, but I don't know how to do that and also play for, like, a general audience at the same time. So my question is, how can I hype up the Mall of America crowd while also still impressing the regular judges?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Okay. So, Kyle, I'm hoping just to get a baseline. I'll give you a few standard. Sorry. Everybody here should show up. Oh, boy. Oh, okay. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. That one option is everyone here shows up and pops off.

[Travis McElroy]

If I could get a baseline. Bas. Drum line. Thank you. If you could just give me, like, a. Just in your standard delivery. No extra mustery thing. Just like a. Okay, party people, are we ready to rock? Just to get like.

[Justin McElroy]

But, Kyle, just do it like you normally.

[Travis McElroy]

Just how you normally normally do it. Okay, party people, ready to rock.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, dude.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm. If I'm at them. If I'm at them. Heights to the max.

[Justin McElroy]

If I'm at the Mall of America and I see someone wearing one of those Big drum things.

[Travis McElroy]

And they say that.

[Justin McElroy]

That way into a microphone. I'm grabbing my kids by the hand saying, sorry, we're not going on the spongebob roller coaster. I gotta see what this fucking dude's bringing to the table.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I would try. I would start with a slow point to the upper decks. You know what I mean? Like a slow. Like, call it. Before you even start drumming, there's gonna be such a lack of drumming that people will always like, what is going on down there? I thought they were supposed to be drumming today. Kyle, here's what happens. You get up there with your drum. Do you play the drums that lay down or the drum that stands up?

[Justin McElroy]

It's a snare drum. So it's just.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, great, perfect.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, that's the fun one.

[Travis McElroy]

You get out there, you start to hit. Oh. It makes a weird noise. What? You pick up a disc, golf disc, What? Your friend's up there on the second level. You hit an ace, you say, smooch down, they kiss. You start fucking going at it.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, Kyle, I guarantee if you deliver that callback joke to this one specific live podcast recording, they will love it. The entire Mall of America is gonna lose their fucking minds.

[Travis McElroy]

Are you good at drums?

[Justin McElroy]

I mean, I like to think I'm okay.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay. I just didn't know if this was, like, on a whim, I woke up one day and decided to audition. Let's put it this way, the Vikings didn't ask me to audition.

[Justin McElroy]

Sure. So then you probably don't need us up here going, like, have you tried, like, Goong.

[Travis McElroy]

Do that Apt Song? I think that would be fun. Yeah. And like, have you ever tried does the Goosh? Does the Goosh, does the Goosh. Yeah. What about Buttergata butter? Gutter butter? Get a red leather, yellow leather, Red leather, yellow leather. I like.

[Justin McElroy]

You could do that part in the Whiplash movie at the end when he's.

[Travis McElroy]

Like, playing drum solo and he's like.

[Justin McElroy]

First off, do that whole drum solos.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, Crazy.

[Justin McElroy]

But then that part where he's like. And he slows it way down for like 15 fucking minutes while Jay Jonah Jameson's going like, I hate you, but this is so good.

[Travis McElroy]

Listen, I don't know how much 10 minutes of J Jonah Jameson's time costs, but if you could get him there to yell at you while you play.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

No matter how your audition goes.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

They're going to be impressed.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Because they're like, is that jkj? Jonah Jameson?

[Justin McElroy]

Jkj Jonah Jameson Simmons. Damn. Can you squirt a little bit of fake blood in your palms at the end of your solo and just be like, ah, better. I can hire somebody to slap me and say, I'm not getting their tempo. Yeah, just get it.

[Travis McElroy]

And then you start hitting them with your drumsticks until they die and they're like, well, we also can do drum.

[Justin McElroy]

Self defense, and then I can audition for Time the first football team after that.

[Travis McElroy]

Hell yeah. Does that help? Does that help? It does. Thank you so much.

[Justin McElroy]

Good luck, Kyle, on your big audition.

[Travis McElroy]

I believe in you.

[Justin McElroy]

Hello.

[Travis McElroy]

How's it going? Hi. Hi.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm Tate. Hi, Tate. How's it going? Going all right.

[Travis McElroy]

Good, good. Okay, what's your question?

[Justin McElroy]

So I asked you guys this way before the pandemic. I have a pug that I have to take on walks several times a day.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

He has a really bad habit where whenever we're next to, like, a chain link fence, he backs his back legs up onto the fence, like with his feet. Yeah. Lines his asshole up with, like, chain link fence. Yeah. And then poops through the fence into someone else's yard. Always.

[Travis McElroy]

Right.

[Justin McElroy]

And so my issue is, I've been faced with several times.

[Travis McElroy]

I know what you're.

[Justin McElroy]

Do I break into this yard to pick up the turd or do I like, ghost? Because this has been an issue in the past.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, I'm so glad you asked that. So, Griffin, what does Rachel do when you poop through a chain link fence?

[Justin McElroy]

The idea that I could release stool without being completely secure, without having a shell, a prison, a two factor authentication fail safe system around me is so ridiculous that the joke you just made doesn't make any fucking sense.

[Travis McElroy]

Tate, I'm really glad that you described this as like, your pug has a weird habit and not a fetish. Like, yeah, I don't want to freak.

[Justin McElroy]

You out, Tate, but this is like DEFCON 9. Like, Cesar Millan rolls up and is like, fuck, man. What?

[Travis McElroy]

How did you react the very first time it happened?

[Justin McElroy]

Kind of like, huh, that was a really weird one off. And then, like, the next day I was like, hmm, here's a. I don't know.

[Travis McElroy]

That's crazy, because if I saw a.

[Justin McElroy]

Human shitting through a chain link fence, my first thought wouldn't be like, first time they'd done this, I bet.

[Travis McElroy]

Wow.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm catching a truly original moment here.

[Travis McElroy]

So, Tate, I don't know if you know this. I used to be a professional dog trainer at PetSmart. There's no way you have any experience with this exact thing. No, not this exact thing.

[Justin McElroy]

But I don't know if finger blasting dog penises play.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, Tate. Tate's referencing a beard. I can't. I can't stress this enough. That was a different job. And that was not part of dog training. And I was not finger blasting.

[Justin McElroy]

Of all the gerunds.

[Travis McElroy]

I was squeezing their anal glands and I was bad at it. Neither of us enjoyed it.

[Justin McElroy]

The dogs only liked it because of how bad he was at it.

[Travis McElroy]

T. They enjoyed laughing at my experience. But what I was going to say, you wouldn't call it finger blasting if you're bad at it. Guys, finger poking. You have to catch your pug. Every time you see him look at a fence and pause for a moment and decide not to do it, then you gotta praise the fuck out of him like, good boy. Not shitting through that fence. Catch him being good. Absolutely. Stay away from fences. Is that a possibility?

[Justin McElroy]

I think we can move on.

[Travis McElroy]

You can't drink fences.

[Justin McElroy]

Now listen, I know a dog like. What's the dog's name? Portobello. That's fucking great. I know. I've met dogs like this. I've met dogs like this, Tate. And you can't discipline them in the traditional way. You gotta get on their level and be like, hey, Portobello, I get it. Me, Every time I look at a chain link fence, I also think, how funny. I have a super funny, nasty idea.

[Travis McElroy]

I wish I was a little dirty dog so I could do my nasty trick. Here's what you gotta do, Tate. Get a section of chain link fence at home. Really zhuzh it up, make it fancy, make it an extreme pleasure to use. And then Portobello sees other chain link fences and thinks, I got better at home. That's true. I'm gonna save it. Like when I'm traveling and I see any toilet that's not my favorite toilet.

[Justin McElroy]

At home, and you bust out your chain link fence now.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. And then I go home and I shit through a chain link fence for the amusement of everyone. I got a kick ass idea, Tate.

[Justin McElroy]

If it looks like this is about to happen and there's a house with a chain link fence, real quick, you run up to the front door, knock, ring the doorbell, say, hey, my dog is about to shit through your chain link fence. It is now your decision which direction it goes through.

[Travis McElroy]

Are we going? The clock is ticking. He can go left to right, right to left, but whether or not it happens is not an option.

[Justin McElroy]

Do you want an outside job or an inside job, Tate?

[Travis McElroy]

Does that help?

[Justin McElroy]

I think that helps. Thank you so much, Tate.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you.

[Justin McElroy]

And thank you all so much for coming to our show. You all have been, I imagine most of you were also here last night. You've been fucking rad and amazing and.

[Travis McElroy]

We love you and appreciate you so, so much.

[Justin McElroy]

I want to say a huge thank you to Our dad, Clint McIlroy for Rocky Sant tonight. To Amanda, our business manager and our audio engineer this weekend who's been handling the recordings.

[Travis McElroy]

To tour manager Paul, thank you for being here.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you, tour manager Paul. The Wind Beneath Our Wings.

[Travis McElroy]

I want to say thank you to Tom.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you, Tom, to that video that.

[Travis McElroy]

You see in intermission. And all of our video work, that's thanks to Tom.

[Justin McElroy]

Except for the work that Miggy does. Yes, Tom does the rest.

[Travis McElroy]

Tom and Nate went disc golfing today and they had the good taste not to invite us. So thank you for that guys. Heart. Agree. Thank you to Shannon for taking my older brother to a candy store. That's cool.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you to Samara Jethwa for this incredible poster.

[Travis McElroy]

Make sure you hear us.

[Justin McElroy]

There may still be some outside. There's also probably still some memorial canned food drive challenge coins out there, so go check those out. Thank you to Montaigne for the use for our theme song My Life Is Better with youh. Thank you to the Fitzgerald for having us.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you to Fitzgerald Theatre. This is lovely. You were wonderful.

[Justin McElroy]

It's been amazing. Seriously, it's been the best time here. So thank you all so much. And we have one more fear that someone has sent in that they would like to be faster than. And it looks like everyone's turned off their devices, so I'm going to be the one reading it by default.

[Travis McElroy]

I was thinking what if like we had the audience call out something after we read it, like, be faster.

[Justin McElroy]

No, that scares me. I don't like that. So don't do that.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah. No, don't do that. Don't.

[Travis McElroy]

Bad idea. Wink.

[Justin McElroy]

No, don't do it.

[Travis McElroy]

Here we go.

[Justin McElroy]

This year I want to live faster than my fear of touching the honey bottle. Sometimes life's sticky.

[Travis McElroy]

My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. My brother may kiss your dad square on the lips.

[Justin McElroy]

It's better with you.

[Travis McElroy]

My life.

[Justin McElroy]

It'S.

[Travis McElroy]

Better it's better with you it's better My life, it's better it's better with you. This is true. It's better. It's better with you, my life. Maximum Fun.

[Justin McElroy]

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