MBMBaM 782: A Net Full of Screaming Butterflies

Summary

---

My Brother, My Brother and Me Ep. 782: "A Net Full of Screaming Butterflies"

Release Date: September 29, 2025
Hosts: Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy

---

Episode Overview

In this episode, the McElroy brothers field their usual array of listener questions with trademark absurdity, riffing hard on religious TikTok trends, the art of the “art yard,” covert unicycling practice, and the awkwardness of field nature photography. A raucous Munch Squad features questionable White Castle innovations, and the trio spins comic hypotheticals on everything from post-Rapture fashion to wind chime limits. The tone, as always: silly, erratic, self-referential, and surprisingly insightful.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Rapture TikTok and Childhood Theology (01:26 - 07:30)

• TikTok’s Rapture Fears: Justin mentions that his wife got caught up in “Rapture Talk” on TikTok, with people expecting the rapture imminently.
• Rapture Rituals: Griffin jokes about people binging hamburgers ahead of supposed ascension:
  • “Some people... went to Wendy’s and bought 30 hamburgers... thought they were gonna leave their stupid body behind and shoot up into heaven and ascend.” (05:05, Griffin)
• Questions of Method: The brothers discuss the mechanics of ascension:
  • Would you float naked? Should you wait outdoors to avoid hitting the ceiling?
  • Jokes about the “drip” (fashion) being left behind for the “tribulation force.”
• Iconic Analogy:
  • “It’s like finding an old Subway punch card... and Subway’s like, no, we’ll still honor this.” (07:03, Travis)
• Interpreting Rapture Imagery:
  • Travis: “If there’s not a little poof of purple dust where Travis’s hair was, I would be furious.” (08:02)
  • Griffin: “Kind of cool for the tribulation force, getting to run around and pick up all that drip... all that fucking loot.” (08:17)

2. What Makes a Good MBMBaM Question? (09:38 - 10:58)

• Criteria for Good Questions:
  • Unique, not about dating or office problems.
  • Should have “weird energy,” not seeking tricks or pranks.
• Quip: Travis: “As the person who’s almost exclusively sorted the questions for the last 15 years, I have no idea.” (10:09)

3. Learning to Unicycle in Secret (11:08 - 15:54)

• Listener Dilemma: How to secretly learn to unicycle in a dorm to surprise friends.
• Advice & Scheming:
  • Conceal the unicycle by disguising it as a broken bicycle.
  • Stage the reveal by faking inexperience, then showing sudden expertise.
• Social Dynamics:
  • Griffin: “Don’t have some big reveal... just do it around town until one of your friends sees you... That’s how you get in there.” (15:27)
• Conveyance Culture:
  • Penny farthings and unicycles compared; unicyclists have only “one kind of guy” energy.

4. Transitioning to an ‘Art Yard’ (16:25 - 27:15)

• Listener Asks: How to shift a plain lawn into a wildly artistic one without alienating neighbors.
• Gradual vs. Sudden Transition:
  • Proposal: Use placeholders like birdbaths that seem practical.
  • Griffin’s “Damian the artist” gambit: invent an eccentric housemate to explain escalating art installations.
• Wind Chimes Warning:
  • Griffin: “There should be a government mandated limit... I don’t want to be inside my house... and hearing a pipe organ falling down a set of windy stairs.” (22:04)
• Cultural Training:
  • Travis: “I’ve been trained by movies... the sound of a wind chime heralds some terrible oncoming supernatural force.” (22:35)
• Buying Yard Art:
  • Epcot, World Market, or impulse buys, with the parable of the “mosaic pig.”
  • Griffin: “If you see a cool yard art thing, do not fucking hesitate to grab it.” (24:40)
• Superhero Yard Decor:
  • Justin pitches a Captain America shield birdbath; Travis: “That’s amazing.” (26:39)
• Warning: Accepting yard art gifts means receiving them indefinitely.

5. Munch Squad: White Castle’s Bizarre New Menu (32:08 - 46:07)

• Menu Announcements:
  • Pumpkin Latte Cheesecake on a stick, triple cheese tots, BBQ pulled pork slider.
• Press Release Mysticism:
  • The phrase “Pumpkin spice has officially jumped the mug and landed on a stick.”
  • Griffin: “You guys can’t say that. It skipped the mug? That’s clearly not true.” (34:24)
  • Travis: “There are so many words in there. Like, it couldn’t just be pumpkin spice cheesecake on a stick, they were like... Pumpkin spice latte.” (35:47)
• Physical Description:
  • Justin: “It does look like a tongue depressor shoved...” (40:14)
• Loyalty Program Gets Lore-Heavy:
  • White Castle’s “Craver Nation Rewards” now includes “quests” and “leveling up.”
  • Griffin: “If this is gonna be the larping food place, I’m in.” (44:07)
  • Justin (re: naming): “Now this is capital C... maybe a powerful wizard at play here.” (44:36)
• Augmented Reality Fast Food Dream:
  • Griffin: “Meta Ray Bans... make the White Castle look like a magic fantasy castle... I want that.” (45:46)

6. Neighborhood Nature Photography: How Not to Look Creepy (46:07 - 53:47)

• Listener Issue: Fear of being mistaken for a house-creeper while snapping plants/bugs for iNaturalist.
• Advice:
  • Cloaking behavior increases suspicion—just be overt.
  • Suggestions include a safari helmet, DSLR, or holding a “nature photographer” sign.
  • Griffin: “If I see a stranger... in a safari helmet, I’m like, maybe they’re doing a White Castle quest.”
• Extended Bit:
  • On bug control—lanternflies in DC and using a salt gun for pest defense.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Griffin (on Rapture hamburgers):
  “Some people... bought 30 hamburgers because they thought they were gonna leave their stupid body behind and shoot up into heaven and ascend.” (02:05)
• Travis (on secret unicyclists):
  “When whatever the unicycle deployment is... it goes poorly the first time. And then you say, let me try one more time. And now suddenly it’s like, whoa, you’re a natural.” (13:24)
• Griffin (on yard art purchases):
  “If you see a cool yard art thing, do not fucking hesitate to grab it, because there’s no guarantee it’s gonna come back into your life again. You can be who you want to be.” (24:40)
• Justin (on Pumpkin Latte Cheesecake):
  “It does look like a tongue depressor shoved...” (40:14)
• Griffin (on wind chimes):
  “Don’t want to be inside my house... and hearing a clanging and clanging of a pipe organ falling down a set of windy stairs.” (22:04)
• Griffin (on bug defense):
  “Salt gun. I do have the salt blaster and that’s effective. But that’s not a cool look, either.” (53:05)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |------------|--------------------------------------------------------| | 01:26 | Rapture talk, TikTok theology, rapture humor | | 09:38 | “What makes a good question” meta-discussion | | 11:08 | Secret unicycling advice | | 16:25 | Transforming your yard into an art yard | | 22:04 | Wind chimes, horror tropes, and neighborhood vibes | | 24:40 | Yard art impulse buys and comic lawn decor | | 32:08 | Munch Squad: White Castle’s menu weirdness | | 44:07 | White Castle’s LARP-like loyalty program | | 46:07 | Neighborhood nature photography | | 53:05 | Bug defense, using salt guns |

---

Tone & Language

The episode flows with the McElroys’ playful, frenetic energy—jokes pile on each other, with absurd digressions and surreal imagery (the rapture’s fashion fallout, building an “art yard” with an imaginary housemate, White Castle’s fast-food lore). Real advice is laced with self-aware nonsense. Above all, the brothers maintain a welcoming, self-deprecating humor, especially about their own attempts to make sense of wild listener questions.

---

Summary prepared for listeners seeking the funniest and most useful slices of the McElroy brothers’ distinctive advice and banter.

---

Transcript

[Griffin McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

[Justin McElroy]

Also, this show isn't for kids, which.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

[Montagne (musical performer)]

It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into a precious friends I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life, it feels like it's better it's better with you My life, it's better it's better with you this is who you are it's better it's better with two what's better with you?

[Justin McElroy]

Hello everybody and welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me and advice show for the Modren era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm your middlest brother, Travis. Big dog, Froom froom, Wolf. Wolf McElroy. What's up Trav Nation?

[Griffin McElroy]

What's up Travnation? It's me, your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

This week I. It's always fun whenever there's something religious happening on TikTok because I get to become. I get to become my wife's designated Protestant.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

And she was as. She was really caught up in what she called rapture talk. I don't know if anybody else did, but apparently a bunch of people, not a bunch, I don't know, some number of people thought the Rapture was gonna happen.

[Griffin McElroy]

You guys heard about can you do it? Can you. Can you linno it? Like, can you put a little lino stink on?

[Travis McElroy]

You guys hear about this?

[Justin McElroy]

Hey guys, you guys heard of this? As people thought the rapture was gonna happen last week.

[Travis McElroy]

It feels like every day someone thinks the rapture's gonna happen.

[Griffin McElroy]

This was a big one, dude. This was a big one. And a lot of people, like Justin said and I'm not gonna name names or say if I'm one of them, were pretty fucking stoked and are honestly really pretty disappointed. Some of people went to Wendy's and bought 30 hamburgers and ate 30 hamburgers because they thought they were gonna leave their stupid body behind and shoot up into heaven in ascend.

[Travis McElroy]

So wait, Griffin, I'm confused by this logic. Was it to fuel the transition? Was it to punish your body? Was it like this doesn't mean anything, no fuel needed?

[Griffin McElroy]

From what I understood again from Christ Talk was that he was gonna handle most of the heavy lifting with the Ascension. I wouldn't need to squeeze, like, Kegel so hard that my soul shoots up and out.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, so, Griffin, I know that you were not following this incident. This.

[Travis McElroy]

This.

[Justin McElroy]

This like, sort of ongoing conversation. So I would like to ask you before I bias you with sort of like, the conversation.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right.

[Justin McElroy]

And I want to send jokes. Heather in for a second?

[Griffin McElroy]

Sure.

[Justin McElroy]

Please.

[Griffin McElroy]

From your jokes, I did not eat 30 hamburgers.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you. Thank you for clarifying.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, we can go back. We can go back to jokes now. We just needed to check in on Griffin's constitution.

[Justin McElroy]

Based on the upbringing that you received in the church at Highland Baptist Church, Right. What did you think was going to happen in the rapture? What was your. What is like.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, sending jokes.

[Justin McElroy]

Out of the room for a second?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I mean, rapture wasn't hit particularly hard at young Sunday school. I will say, Mr. Kirk Cameron, did, I think, sort of popularize the idea for a lot of us. From what I understood, it would just be a kind of like, I would disappear and you guys would be. Wait, you guys would be left behind.

[Travis McElroy]

Why would you assume that? I got baptized.

[Justin McElroy]

Mom and dad taught him.

[Travis McElroy]

I got baptized twice. Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

If anyone's growing up, it's this guy.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's not a number. It's not a quantity. The fact that you got baptized twice actually kind of cheapens it a little bit.

[Travis McElroy]

I like the attention.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I honestly told my wife that I read the book Left behind, and she.

[Travis McElroy]

Looked at me like a moon man.

[Justin McElroy]

And it's like, hey, at my church, that is as close to sci fi as you got at the library, man. That was thrilling.

[Griffin McElroy]

That was a romp. That was almost.

[Justin McElroy]

That was a romp.

[Griffin McElroy]

And Kirk Cameron made it from Growing Pains. Secular much. So, like, watch Roger.

[Justin McElroy]

Watch the judge. He was somebody the kids already loved because we love Growing Pains so much.

[Griffin McElroy]

So I would disappear and you guys be left behind, and you'd have to. There'd be like, a chip that would be implanted in your hand or a barcode. Or a barcode. And you guys would be pretty bummed out, but I wouldn't be there. I guess I'd be in heaven and kicking it. But it didn't happen well.

[Travis McElroy]

And after a while, I think we get kind of general admission tickets to heaven. After, I think, like seven years, it's like, yeah, you guys, you tried your best.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. But the scene will be so played at that point. Like, you guys are gonna get up there and you'll be like, griffin, you're back.

[Justin McElroy]

We're so happy to see you.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's all worth the wait. And I'll be like, yeah, man. And you'll be like, let's go to the heaven rave. I'll be like, oh, man. Like, I've done that like, a thousand times. Like, the scene is played, dudes, you missed it.

[Justin McElroy]

The distinction that you're drawing, the thing that you're describing is close to my understanding of what the biblical prediction of the rapture is. And the thing that is. I think, that has most been codified in this sort of, like, mass psychogenic event that's happening. You know, the people are thinking. There's been. It's pretty much settled that people are going to be floating sans clothes. Huh? The clothes drop.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And so there were several people sort of watching from their balconies to see if people started floating up. And there was a lot of warnings to, like, make sure. This is the one that I thought was make sure you weren't indoors.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Because that would cause injuries.

[Justin McElroy]

Cause it would start. Well, you would just hit the ceiling. I didn't know if it was like a fizzy lifting drinks kind of deal where you hit the ceiling and be like, whoa, Charlie, we can't. And you have to, like, float your way to the door. Or if you just, like, rock it right the fuck through the ceiling.

[Travis McElroy]

You can get through the ceiling, but GSA has got to give you an extra, like, hard tug to get it. And it doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt so much as it feels weird.

[Griffin McElroy]

Embarrassing, too.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. That's when the clothes pop off.

[Justin McElroy]

The clothes popping off is the other thing I want to talk about. Because if. Okay. I'm getting pulled up. Awesome. Love it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Love it.

[Justin McElroy]

So stoked to get pulled up.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Stoked that I. A little surprised, sure. Considering. But stoked.

[Griffin McElroy]

Certain promises were made when we were children that we were not expecting to.

[Justin McElroy]

I did not think. We're still good, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cause we've done a lot of stuff since.

[Travis McElroy]

It's like finding an old Subway punch card and you're like, surely this is expired. And then you take it in and Subway's like, no, it's actually. We'll still expire.

[Griffin McElroy]

We will honor this.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

It's like putting six GI Joe UPCs on the counter of a speedway and they hand you a Sergeant Slaughter figure.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's like, well, wow.

[Justin McElroy]

Never thought. Anyway, wait. Pepsi points are real Pepsi. I did get the Harrier jet. I went. If I went up and my clothes were on the ground?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Am I just instantly okay with that? And if so, am I still myself?

[Griffin McElroy]

That's a great question.

[Justin McElroy]

My drip is part of me.

[Travis McElroy]

The drip behind the amount of time it would take me to get over the fact that my phone was in my jeans as I'm like floating up. I'm not saying I would never get over it, but I'm saying there is a period of time where I think, yeah, no, I'm glad I'm. I'm. I got in. I got grandfathered in, I assume.

[Justin McElroy]

But my phone, if there's not a little poof of purple dust where Travis's hair was, I would be furious. Because, like, that should not be permanently.

[Travis McElroy]

Does that count? What about my glasses?

[Justin McElroy]

If the drip is left behind? You know what I mean? Like, I don't.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do I Kind of cool. Kind of cool for the tribulation force, getting to run around and pick up all that drip.

[Travis McElroy]

All that loot.

[Griffin McElroy]

All that fucking loot.

[Travis McElroy]

All that loot.

[Griffin McElroy]

I want to know if you want.

[Justin McElroy]

To dress like a Protestant.

[Griffin McElroy]

Fair point. I want to know how I get pulled up so hard my clothes come off because my shirt's not going to go up through the top, right? The only thing I could think is that it sort of goes ass up and it does it. So like face down, ass up, all the clothes shoot downwards, as could be.

[Travis McElroy]

Like a banana peel. Like you see in a cartoon, a monkey squeezes a banana real hard. The banana pops out of the top, is the banana.

[Griffin McElroy]

But my shirt's not gonna go down me.

[Travis McElroy]

You know what I mean? Your shirt would split open like a banana peel as you explode out of the top like a Roman candle.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well then it's not. The drip is not preem for the people who are left behind.

[Travis McElroy]

That's true. I didn't even think about it.

[Justin McElroy]

What if you are instantly copied in your drip and you just have a spectrum drip?

[Griffin McElroy]

Dude, but it's that one forever. Is that like a little bit forewarning? What if I'm in my. What if I'm in my athleisure wear? I don't want anyone to see me like that. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Or if I've been doing a hard day's labor. No, I've never done a hard day's labor in my life.

[Justin McElroy]

Let's not be. This is an advice show you questions. You know, we never mentioned this. Mbmbamamaximumfund.org?

[Griffin McElroy]

How do we continue to get questions?

[Justin McElroy]

I don't know how we keep. We literally never tell people how to do that anymore. That's how you do it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

It's not like magic.

[Griffin McElroy]

Make them real. Make them real. Because we haven't done that in a while.

[Justin McElroy]

Let's listen to what makes a good question.

[Griffin McElroy]

Good question is where.

[Justin McElroy]

Are you telling me that's a. Are you. Were you saying that was a good question that I asked you or what makes a good.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't want to confuse people. What you said was great, but it's not a great example of a question for the show. Do you know what I mean?

[Travis McElroy]

As the person who's almost exclusively sorted the questions for the last 15 years, I'd love to hear you guys talk about what makes a good question.

[Griffin McElroy]

Weird energy.

[Travis McElroy]

No, no, no. Because I've been selecting them for 15 years and I have no idea.

[Justin McElroy]

But you heard the confrontational tone.

[Griffin McElroy]

It had a. Confrontational.

[Travis McElroy]

I have a hard time saying fear. I don't know what to tell you.

[Justin McElroy]

Two ears and one mouth. A lot of people forget that.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't understand what that means.

[Justin McElroy]

One brain. Two.

[Travis McElroy]

Three eyes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Whoa. So I don't know. Eleven senses. Okay. Unique. Not about office or dating. We don't. We're out of that. We're so far out, guys. And real dogs. Not a funny story that happened to you one time. I like those, but they aren't very rich for us to discuss.

[Travis McElroy]

How do I trick someone into something? Is also like.

[Justin McElroy]

We don't like to do tricks anymore. Our trick days are behind us. I recently got a unicycle I never rode.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's a good fucking start.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. I've never rode a unicycle before. I'm trying to keep it a secret from my friends. So someday while we're hanging out, I can just hop on the unicycle out of nowhere and be a pro at it for sure. That is.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

We'll come back to it. But that's the only thought that's ever motivated anyone in any hobby ever. Okay. The problem is it's extremely hard to learn to unicycle in a tiny dorm room. And my friends live right next door. Dear brothers, how can I secretly learn to unicycle? That's from sneaky cyclists in Lincoln, Nebraska.

[Travis McElroy]

There is an additional problem here where if you want to suddenly do it out of nowhere, you're going to have to camouflage the unicycle in such a way, because it's not like you can hide it in your pocket and break it. You're walking up to wherever your friend group is with a unicycle.

[Griffin McElroy]

The only way I can think to do that is to buy two unicycles and kind of tie them together when you store them so that they look like. Well, a pretty fucked up bike, honestly.

[Travis McElroy]

No, you would have a bicycle and have, like, the back and front end.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

So that they would kind of stick onto the unicycle. And then. Oh, no, my bike broke. I'll just try this.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's the prestigious.

[Justin McElroy]

Before you decide that you're gonna do it, try to think through the best version of it working. Right. I feel like in the best version of it working, somehow you've played at a unicycle. You're like, oh, sweet unicycle. And then you hop on it and you're like, whoa, I got it. And then your friends are like, amazed.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And then what? No, the first, like. No, serious. No, seriously. And then you're like, I've been learning it in secret for months just for this.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, you're cooler.

[Travis McElroy]

There's a step that you missed, and it's part of the hustle. Right. Sorry.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't know how to get off.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's one wheel. You can just kinda.

[Justin McElroy]

Somebody catch me.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just stretch your legs out.

[Travis McElroy]

Win. Okay, first of all, Justin, that presupposes that they have spent all this time learning to ride a unicycle in private, but never learned to dismount the unicycle in private.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's the hardest part.

[Justin McElroy]

Was it Travis?

[Griffin McElroy]

He's doing jokes.

[Justin McElroy]

That part was a joke. Okay, good.

[Travis McElroy]

Here's the first part of the hustle that you need. When whatever the unicycle deployment is the first. You're like, I've always wanted to try unicycling, and it goes poorly the first time.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And then you say, let me try one more time. And now suddenly it's like, whoa, you're a natural.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right?

[Travis McElroy]

Right. And then it's like, I guess I just God decided. You're like, this person is destined to unicycle. Everything about them is designed to be a natural.

[Justin McElroy]

At this, I feel like unicycle. Can you guys think of any other means of conveyance that communicates so much about the conveyance?

[Griffin McElroy]

Penny farthing. Big penny farthing. But if I see somebody on a unicycle and I see somebody on a penny farthing, and they're about to fight.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

They're about to have their own twisted metal style battle.

[Justin McElroy]

No, but wait. Okay, now, hold on. If you see someone on a penny farthing, they could be time traveler, insane museum guy. Could be one of three.

[Travis McElroy]

Or all three.

[Griffin McElroy]

All three insane.

[Justin McElroy]

They could be all three. They could be two of the three.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, for sure.

[Justin McElroy]

If you're on a unicycle.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

There's one kind of guy, you know what I mean? It's just the one kind of person on a unicycle.

[Griffin McElroy]

They do make electric unicycles now that balance themselves out and you look like a fucking Mega man enemy when you do ride one of those around.

[Justin McElroy]

That's how we do.

[Griffin McElroy]

They do not make electric penny farthings as far as I know. Yeah, I don't think they're OSHA compliant. You have to be so unnecessarily high up on those things.

[Travis McElroy]

I have seen people on unicycles and I would equate this too, with, like, the one wheel, like, hoverboard things.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

Where there is. We talk about the practicing of the skill, but not the practicing of the extreme look of nonchalance. One must have to ride them as if, like, yeah, I'm bored doing this, dude.

[Griffin McElroy]

And it's so easy.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't even know. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

So easy to do that on a unicycle because it requires so little of your body to function. You can really top half just whatever. Don't have some big reveal. Just do it around town until one of your friends sees you and you be like, oh, yeah, I unicycle. I'm quite proficient. That's a chill reveal. Not making a big flashy show of it. That's how you really get down in your fucking friend's brains. That's how you get in there.

[Travis McElroy]

Have you guys ever seen somebody on one of those one wheel hoverboards going full speed, just going like, whoa.

[Justin McElroy]

Yay.

[Griffin McElroy]

I saw somebody drop off their kid who was on an electric scooter at Henry's school, and then he was like, bye, son. And then fucking zooted out of there on his single wheel electric skateboard. And I thought, that's that. You should be the principal. You should get to be the principal when you're that cool at being a parent. Another question.

[Justin McElroy]

I want to become one of those ladies with a bunch of cool art in her yard. Like kinetic sculptures made out of forks and wine bottle sun catchers. Is there a graceful way to make the transition from boring lawn to art yard? Should I rip the band aid and just put out a bunch of pieces overnight, or should I start gradually with one weird sculpture in the lawn? That's from Artless in Massachusetts.

[Travis McElroy]

I want this.

[Griffin McElroy]

I want this too. Everyone Kind of wants this. When you walk past the yard and it's got, like, a bunch of art and pretty stained glass creations and also, like a bunch of wildflowers that just, like, butterflies are on. And you're like, how do you fucking. How do you do that, Miss? How do you have that, Miss Honey ass yard.

[Travis McElroy]

That's crazy. I did, like, a chaos, you know, wildflower portion on my front yard. And the secret that they don't tell you, Griffin, is there's a solid, like, month and a half where it's just bare dirt. Looks like shit.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, right. Where it's just like, he's got the time.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, that guy gave up on that part of the yard.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's what the art is for. You put the art there, and it's like a placeholder for this stuff.

[Justin McElroy]

But is the idea that if you put the art in, you can't mow there anymore. So then it becomes a wild.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, that's cool. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't know.

[Justin McElroy]

That's to art's problem.

[Travis McElroy]

And then eventually the yard swallows up the art, as when we are all raptured. Eventually, nature will reclaim all the art.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. As it will.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't think nature would want all of the art. I've seen some art. I don't think nature will want.

[Travis McElroy]

Justin, list off five pieces of art that you think nature wouldn't want.

[Justin McElroy]

Dungeon crawler. Karl.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, fuck off. How dare you, sir? That was targeted. That was targeted.

[Justin McElroy]

It was just the first thing that sprang to mind. Travis, nature would love that book series. I mean, I think nature aborts a.

[Travis McElroy]

Vacuum, so that's true.

[Griffin McElroy]

I have a bad idea.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, good.

[Griffin McElroy]

And it's gonna be hard to do, but if you just start showing up to the house with a friend who's wearing tiny little glasses and a black turtleneck, and you say, oh, this is. Oh, this? This is Damian. Damian's gonna start living here now. And have Damian be sort of like very quiet and reserved, but clearly like, artistic. Beautiful mind. And then when the stuff starts showing up in the yard, you can really slow roll it. No one's gonna think like, have you lost the plot? Why are you putting so much shit in your yard? And be like, oh, that's Damian. He says he eats the art and he needs to be around it to live.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, Griffin, as you're describing Damian, there's a 50, 50 chance he turns out to also be a serial killer.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, he's not in this. Imagine. Why would you even introduce that in this film?

[Travis McElroy]

You just said he needs to eat the art.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, but not really. Like, eat it. Like, experience it. And Damien needs that.

[Justin McElroy]

Consume it is maybe a better word.

[Griffin McElroy]

Consume it. Got lost in translation?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I got it from demon tongue.

[Griffin McElroy]

I did mix them up. But Damian loves art, and he needs it or he'll die. He gets sick without it, and you tell that to your neighbors, and then no one's gonna ask any questions. It's all Damien.

[Justin McElroy]

You start practical, right? That's why bird baths, people love. Right? Birds do not need to take a bath. They don't. They're fine.

[Travis McElroy]

I've never seen a bird looking around for a bird bath.

[Griffin McElroy]

Never been around a bird and been like, that bird stinks.

[Justin McElroy]

Big bird probably. Big bird probably gets big.

[Travis McElroy]

There's no way. How dare you?

[Griffin McElroy]

Not the big bird, but big birds probably get like, a big bird.

[Justin McElroy]

He gets funky. Well, you put it out there, but you pretend it's practical, right? Like, oh, this I have to. For the birds, right? And then you put out. Maybe wind chimes is another one. Like, well, I love the sound. And then you put out eight, and then it's like, too late. I mean, I know this isn't practical at this point, but I've already put so many out, nobody could judge. That's how you ease into it. In their heads, they're like, well, I guess they had some reason for it. They put out the one bird bath that was very well grounded in bird hygiene.

[Travis McElroy]

I like the idea of sneaking out at, like, 2:00am when the neighborhood's asleep and just putting up, like, 30 different, like, recycled glass bottle arts. And, like, there's a. It's a statue of a rooster, right? And then waking up in the morning and be like, yep, this is how I've always imagined it. Yep.

[Justin McElroy]

No. Or you come out the next morning and you're like, what the fuck? These fucking kids.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's great.

[Justin McElroy]

You know what? I'm not even gonna take it down this time. That'll show em.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. And then.

[Justin McElroy]

And then you just gotta make sure enough neighbors see that little skit.

[Travis McElroy]

Do it every 15 minutes as they leave for work.

[Justin McElroy]

Exactly.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, maybe you have a neighborhood Facebook group and you say, like, come out at noon. I'm gonna do my skit. Hey, everyone, it's noon. Everyone, I've got a skit. Marcy.

[Travis McElroy]

No, no, no.

[Griffin McElroy]

Jesse down the street has a groceries skit that she's been working on. She's excited about.

[Justin McElroy]

If you have a Facebook group, then you don't need the skit. Then you could put a post in The Facebook group that is like announcement to local jerks or fully stop putting all this stuff in my yard.

[Travis McElroy]

You could do a fully filmed YouTube short that you post in there of you coming out and chasing the kids off. And then maybe from the kids perspective as they're like. I think they seem. Listen, they're mad at me now, but they seem like someone who wants art in their yard. This is a service we're providing. And then it cuts back to you. And now you're doing an unboxing video. And this has been your kind of slow transition into, I'm an art yard person and I want to do unboxing videos.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. The wind chimes would be the only thing for me. I do think there should be a government mandated limit on how many wind chimes because now that's. You can. The art in your yard looks cool and I'm glad it's there and it looks great. And a set of wind chimes blowing in the breeze. Lovely. Eight wind chimes. Has Justin conjured up too many wind chimes? Don't want to be inside my house watching America's Next dancer and hearing a clanging and clanging of a pipe organ falling down a set of windy stairs.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't know if this is pervasive in other cultures, but I know here in the US I have been trained by movies and TV shows that the sound of a whim chime heralds some terrible oncoming supernatural force.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. I've never heard a wim chime and thought today, man.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm very like, October is just around the corner, I guess. But Travis is already.

[Travis McElroy]

I live in a constant state of fear.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's great that you're saying that while your own little face is poking up from the bottom.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes, Trav. Can you, like, look to the. Look to your left?

[Griffin McElroy]

No, no, it just.

[Justin McElroy]

It works better.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's good.

[Justin McElroy]

Can you get one bigger? You to take a picture of that and then wear a T shirt.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's awesome.

[Travis McElroy]

Don't act like I wouldn't do that. You know me.

[Griffin McElroy]

You definitely would. You definitely.

[Travis McElroy]

I wish that this show was just three knees.

[Justin McElroy]

That's interesting. Trap.

[Griffin McElroy]

Where do you get yard art? Except for, I guess, like World World Market or whatever.

[Justin McElroy]

Epcot.

[Griffin McElroy]

Epcot. You get yard art.

[Justin McElroy]

It's just at Epcot. Yeah, you gotta go. That's how you get authentic stuff. Cause you could get things at Walmart or Target that look like they're from another country. Or you could go to Epcot, the World Pavilion and get stuff that's Actually, from other countries.

[Griffin McElroy]

Damn.

[Justin McElroy]

And I think that's where the wind chimes. Most wind chimes, I do feel like, come from Epcot.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

One time, Rachel and I went to Fredericksburg, Texas, for a romantic getaway. And on our way there, we went to, like, an art store, and there was. That had mosaic tile pigs. And I was like, those fucking rule. But I was like, I can't buy that. That's not me. I don't have an art yard. And so we went on the trip and did this beautiful hiking, went to a couple wineries. It was very lovely. But the whole time, you know what I was thinking about was the mosaic pig that I didn't buy. And so on the way back to Austin, I did make sure we made a pit stop so I could buy the mosaic pig. And his leg broke off very quickly, and he died.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, no. Let that be a lesson to you all. You miss 100% of the pigs. You don't.

[Griffin McElroy]

If you see a cool yard art thing, do not fucking hesitate to grab it, because there's no guarantee it's gonna come back into your life again. You can be who you want to be.

[Justin McElroy]

I feel like Portuguese are a good conduit to this too. I know people love the.

[Travis McElroy]

What are the Portuguese that have to do with this? Justin.

[Justin McElroy]

Sorry, Travis. That's an incredible turn of phrase. Like, genuinely impressed. Not in a funny way, but in, like, a.

[Travis McElroy]

Impressive. Yeah, thank you. Like an om. Wild, level wit kind of thing.

[Griffin McElroy]

I was trying to tell if it was, like. If it was, like, offensive, but it was, like, these two words just weren't.

[Justin McElroy]

No, but people here love the concrete geese.

[Griffin McElroy]

People love concrete.

[Justin McElroy]

And I feel like maybe that's a good entry point, because if you put one out, it's, like, charming. And then they could just replicate overnight. There's 30, you know, and it's no big deal.

[Travis McElroy]

Now, you do run the risk. And we get questions like this all the time, where if you start having an art yard, your family and friends are gonna be, like, great. Every present for the rest of their life. Sorted. Here's another windmill. Here's a thing of bottles hanging down.

[Griffin McElroy]

What I think sucks is that all yard art kind of subscribes to, like, a few different things, which is, like, functional bird furniture or a mosaic sort of tile thing, sturdy pieces, wind chimes, what have you. And they don't do all kinds of art. What if your decoration style is just busts of your favorite comic book and anime characters? Why don't we get big ones of those for the front yard?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, please.

[Griffin McElroy]

And weather resistant.

[Justin McElroy]

Do you think there's, like, a Captain America lawn decor you could go with?

[Travis McElroy]

Yes, please.

[Griffin McElroy]

Probably.

[Travis McElroy]

That might send a message you're not ready for. Go with Deadpool. I think Deadpool is.

[Griffin McElroy]

Deadpool sends a great message.

[Justin McElroy]

Captain America. But he's holding the shield upside down. It's full of water. And who's in the shield? It's birds. They're taking risks.

[Travis McElroy]

Justin, that's amazing. Can I tell you a birdbath of Captain America's shield? I would buy that. Right?

[Justin McElroy]

Hold on one second. Let me see here. Captain, I'm about to get rich. Kiss this podcast shit goodbye, guys. Captain America bird. Shield. Bird.

[Travis McElroy]

I would also love a Thor lightning rod to put on top of my house where he's holding the hammer and lightning strikes. That instead of my house would be great.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Naruto.

[Justin McElroy]

I was trying to Google it and I accidentally typed it in ChatGPT. And I was making it. No. Yeah, they're making them now.

[Travis McElroy]

Turns out AI was a mistake. Mistake. Ah.

[Justin McElroy]

Ah. Let's go to money Zone.

[Griffin McElroy]

All right.

[Montagne (musical performer)]

Is that a. Is better movie?

[Justin McElroy]

Tick tock. Zoc dock clock.

[Travis McElroy]

What?

[Griffin McElroy]

That's cool, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Tik tok. Zoc dock o'. Clock.

[Griffin McElroy]

Nice.

[Justin McElroy]

That's my.

[Travis McElroy]

I was just thinking, like, we should do another jingle. We haven't done a jingle. I think ZocDoc is. Has proven themselves worthy and then just.

[Justin McElroy]

But there is. In this case, this. I will say Trav. In this case, there is a Zoc Doc sound that they play. Watch this. I am going to play it right now.

[Griffin McElroy]

That was how it seems like. How did you do that? Dude, I did not know that we had that.

[Justin McElroy]

Do it with my tongue like this.

[Griffin McElroy]

Whoa.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. You know, if you need a doctor, that can be really overwhelming. I have a doctor at my house, and I still have trouble finding her sometimes. So when I can't find my wife, I turn to zocdoc. Sometimes there's 30 to 40 wives in my house, and I can't tell which one is a licensed physician that I am married to. So when I have to find a doctor who I'm also married to. Zocdoc. No, Zocdoc.

[Travis McElroy]

No. Zocdoc doesn't do that.

[Justin McElroy]

Zocdoc doesn't do that. What they do is they help you find the right physician for whatever you got going on. You need to see somebody. You want to change providers. You're in a new area that's so overwhelming to find the right physician for you. I Still struggle with it. And like I said, I'm married to a doctor and I still have to deal with this. But Zocdoc makes it really, really easy.

[Travis McElroy]

They got doctors for everything these days. You guys hear about this doctor's for everything. It's not just that somebody with a black bag that shows up at your house and says like, yeah, doing good Mr. McElroy and then gives you a lollipop. I had to get an appointment with a sleep doctor cause I got a big tongue. Makes me sleep bad.

[Justin McElroy]

That's the thing you gotta go to doctors for.

[Travis McElroy]

Do you guys even know you're not.

[Justin McElroy]

Gonna listen if you have something that embarrassing going on? You want a doctor who's discreet and professional and will probably tell you what you want to hear. And you can search by those filters. I bet on Zocdoc. I don't know all the different filters they have, but like, this is the way to find a physician with Zocdoc.

[Griffin McElroy]

I filled out my whole zoo crew here in D.C. with Zocdoc.com.

[Justin McElroy]

It'S a free app and website. Search and compare high quality in network doctors across every specialty and click to instantly book an appointment. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com mybrother to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's z o c-o c.com mybrotherz.com my brother at the 1 yard I was about to compliment the hell out of you.

[Travis McElroy]

All right, I just hit it slow the first one. I saw you kind of stumble like a gymnast on the balance.

[Justin McElroy]

Say one more word and I will make the Sonic logo at you again, Travis. I will play.

[Travis McElroy]

I will play the Zocdoc sound with my mouth.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's our new no, no can is the Zocdoc Sonic logo.

[Sue (Dr. Game Show host)]

Hey, it's sue the subway train. Hey, guess what, Sue? I just inherited a game show and I have to continue it because there are people out there who like to curl up into a ball and listen to it. Yeah, it's a podcast where listeners submit game show ide for others to play on air. Well, it is in fact the dumber the better. Right? Right. It's called Dr. Game Show. Some curled up balls consider it a tradition, while others call it a train wreck. No, not you, Sue. It's Dr. Game Show. If you're the sort that likes to listen to people competing for refrigerator magnets, then curl up into a ball and listen to Dr. Game show every other Wednesday. MaximumFun.org.

[Sequoia Holmes (Black People Love Paramore co-host)]

Are you a five star baddie? If you answered yes, then Black People Love Paramore is the podcast for you. Contrary to the title, we are not a podcast about the band Paramore. Black People Love Paramore is a pop culture show about the common and uncommon interests of black people. In order to help us feel a little bit more seen, we are your co hosts Sequoia Holmes, Jewel Wicker and Ryan Graham. And in each episode we dissect one pop culture topic that mainstream media doesn't associate with the black people, but we know that we like.

[Griffin McElroy]

We get into topics like ginger ale, the Golden Girls, Black romance, Uno, and so much more.

[Sequoia Holmes (Black People Love Paramore co-host)]

Tune in every other Thursday to the podcast that's dedicated to helping black people feel more seen. Find Black People love paramore on maximumfun.org.

[Justin McElroy]

Or wherever you get your podcasts. Yes, that sounded really bad. Like I don't try again to hear that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Clean. Ooh, that's kind of like a hammer on fuzz pedal.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I want a mer. I want to Munch Squad. Welcome to Munch Squad. It's podcast within a podcast profiling the latest and grace of brand eating. You know we don't talk about White Castle enough. Even though it holds the distinction in many historians eyes as one of the first fast food restaurants.

[Travis McElroy]

Dad talks about it a lot.

[Justin McElroy]

Template that we all must follow. So you One could argue that as goes White Castle, so goes the world.

[Travis McElroy]

And I could.

[Griffin McElroy]

One could. I don't know how one would even start that argument.

[Justin McElroy]

One could.

[Travis McElroy]

But should one?

[Griffin McElroy]

No.

[Justin McElroy]

Must one. White Castle rolls out pumpkin latte, cheesecake on a stick, triple cheese tots and BBQ pulled pork slider.

[Travis McElroy]

But not all together, right?

[Griffin McElroy]

Not at the same time certainly. There's no combo meal.

[Justin McElroy]

This is the first sentence of this press release and I It has been a busy month at White Castle.

[Griffin McElroy]

Good. Thanks for the update.

[Travis McElroy]

Cool.

[Justin McElroy]

I like it. I like it. I like a fucking. I like a press release for a fast food place that sounds like a tales from Lake Wobegon.

[Travis McElroy]

Like great old Derek making the fries again.

[Justin McElroy]

The iconic family owned fast food business has expanded its menu with three brand new limited time only editions and launched the newest iteration of its customer loyalty program, Craver Nation Rewards.

[Griffin McElroy]

Awesome, huh?

[Justin McElroy]

So good man. Craver Nation is good. If you guys haven't said Craver Nation.

[Griffin McElroy]

Loud, Craver Nation is awesome. Craver Nation. Very fitting.

[Travis McElroy]

It's also giving me. I didn't know I could do rewards for Trav Nation people. And now I could set up like a Pepsi Point style thing Where. When you buy, do you have enough.

[Griffin McElroy]

To distribute for that, though? Cause if you don't have enough hacky.

[Justin McElroy]

Sacks, I would advise.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cole.

[Travis McElroy]

I got a hacky sack wholesaler here in town that I can work with.

[Justin McElroy]

Here's a subhead. Whole latte cheese. Exclamation point. Whole latte cheese.

[Griffin McElroy]

Whole latte cheese.

[Justin McElroy]

Whole latte cheese. Pumpkin spice season has officially jumped the mug and landed on a stick.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's crazy. You guys can't say that. It skipped the mug. That's clearly not true.

[Justin McElroy]

It shook the mug and landed on a stick.

[Travis McElroy]

Are they going for jump the shark?

[Justin McElroy]

I don't know, man, because it's not like spice. You're not.

[Travis McElroy]

You went, jump the shark Isn't like, yeah, it was in the shark and it jumped out.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, and also that sentence is saying.

[Justin McElroy]

Starbucks didn't do it this year, so.

[Griffin McElroy]

It'S on a stick now here at White Castle.

[Travis McElroy]

A whole latte cheese.

[Justin McElroy]

I mean, like, here's what I will say. If I cannot derive meaning from this sentence, no human being can. Like, I'm a professional. I do this for a living. I don't know what they are saying. Riding the wave of America's pumpkin spice obsession.

[Travis McElroy]

Right?

[Justin McElroy]

Whoa.

[Griffin McElroy]

Whoa. It's 2006, yo.

[Justin McElroy]

Whoa. This crusty ass wave is ridding a car. Whoa. We're riding the wave. Riding the wave of America's pumpkin spice obsession. White Castle is rolling out the brand new pumpkin latte cheesecake dessert on a stick.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm glad they had to specify it is a dessert and not part of the secunde course.

[Travis McElroy]

An hors d'.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oeuvre. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Sound. An amouche bouche.

[Travis McElroy]

There's also so many words in there. Like, it couldn't just be pumpkin spice cheesecake on a stick. They were like, that doesn't convey the full depth of flavor. Pumpkin spice latte.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know.

[Travis McElroy]

How stupid. Should we make sure they know that it's dessert on a stick and not just, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Otherwise they'd be surprised when it's on a stick.

[Justin McElroy]

It is a bold twist on fall's most talked about flavor. Rich creamy cheesecake is blended with the cozy warmth of pumpkin spice and the bold kick of coffee, then finished with a graham cracker crust for just the right touch of sweetness.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's not finished yet. I know it's not finished yet. There is another step. Another thing's going in there, and it is a step.

[Justin McElroy]

White Castle.

[Travis McElroy]

Sorry to break it to you. I don't think you guys made up Pumpkin spice cheesecake. I don't think this is a bold as bold and new. An innovation on a stick though, man on a stick.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

But I don't think that that's a bold new innovation.

[Justin McElroy]

Triple cheese tots are another cheese based addition to the menu. Huh? Infused. Yeah. This is the same lunatic that just read the earlier stuff about jumping the mug and now they're back in control. I guess the I don't know. The triple cheese tots are another cheeseburger. Infused with bits of cheddar, colby, jack and mozzarella cheese. The triple cheese tots upped the ante on the deliciousness of the classic tater tots.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't historically think of tater tots as being an infusible material.

[Justin McElroy]

Right. I also, I would argue that once one has put triple the cheese in there, are they even tots anymore?

[Travis McElroy]

I do love the something new. The imagery of like a James Bond high class poker game where someone has been like tater tots and James Bond like, I'll up the ante. Triple cheese tater tots.

[Justin McElroy]

I'll see your tots and raise bacon ranch.

[Travis McElroy]

Mr. Bond, I didn't know you like to live so cheesily.

[Justin McElroy]

It is, Travis. It is like you wonder about like writing is not. Does not happen in a vacuum. Why are we using poker metaphors here? What is being like. What stakes are we playing with?

[Travis McElroy]

I didn't know there were other top based businesses that are now gonna feel called my life. They've done it. God damn it. I thought we all agreed.

[Justin McElroy]

Single excited to welcome both of these crave worthy treats to the menu, said Jamie Richardson, vice president at White Castle. The new pumpkin latte cheesecake dessert on the stick is the perfect treat for autumn. Blending the coziness of a pumpkin spice latte with the luscious texture of classic cheesecake. The triple cheese tots are proof that three cheeses are better than one. They're the ultimate cheesy contemporary.

[Travis McElroy]

There was no way. There was no bridge between those.

[Griffin McElroy]

We're missing a participle. There was a hanging participle, a hanging chad on that sentence. That was fucking bewildered.

[Justin McElroy]

Guys, this is unedited.

[Travis McElroy]

Can I also point out that they have now described the pumpkin spice latte cheesecake several times without addressing the on a stick part.

[Justin McElroy]

They're really talk about the stick. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

It's a creamy blend of fall favorite on a stick. And you're really gonna love it. It's honesty.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. It's work. Like words don't work this way. But it feels like honesty has been CGI'd in somehow. Like they got it in post.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. On a Stick. Wasn't able to make it to family photo day, so we photoshopped on a stick over dad's shoulder.

[Justin McElroy]

Accepting the award for in a normal container this evening will be On a stick. If they ever would. Wow, it's so wild to be here. I didn't expect.

[Griffin McElroy]

I wish they had the courage of their convictions to put out a commercial of just what it looks like when a human being eats one of these things. Cause I bet you do look like some sort of runaway, like, dogman experiment. Just slopping cheesecake off the cob.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm just picturing. Imagine you have a friend over at your home and you're like, hey, do you want a piece of cheesecake? And they're like, yeah, I'd love that. And you started to hand them a fork and they're like, no, I've got it. And they pull a tongue depressor out of their pocket and jam it into the ass of the cheesecake and just start going to town. I would worry about them.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Never leave home without it.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, we do have. You guys want to see? I have a photo here if you'd like to see. Just to demonstrate exactly what we're dealing with.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hold on.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

So it's like not. So it's not corn dog shaped. They haven't rolled it into an easier. It is just a. A sort of wedge of cheesecake that does have. Travis got it in one. It does look like a tongue depressor shoved.

[Justin McElroy]

A tongue depressor?

[Griffin McElroy]

The wide end, the rounded end.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, It's a tongue depressor.

[Travis McElroy]

How do I. I guess the eating of it in my car is made easier by that. But am I meant to drive away from the drive through holding it up?

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. There's no getting this thing home. There's no box. Justin, sign up for the newsletter.

[Justin McElroy]

You have to open your mouth and they just pop it in.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. Thank you. Take it to go. The release continues. Talking about the BBQ pulled pork slider.

[Griffin McElroy]

I forgot about him. Yeah, man. He's the most norm, the most mid of all these.

[Justin McElroy]

It's smoked with all natural hickory wood and blended with just the right amount of specially seasoned sweet BBQ sauce. The BBQ pulled pork slider is everything Cravers love about White Castle. Including one of a kind flavor, high quality ingredients, and unbeatable value all in one handheld masterpiece.

[Travis McElroy]

So barbecue is a one of a kind flavor. I Can't get that anywhere else.

[Justin McElroy]

The sweet, smoky, and savory profile is a celebration of flavor that brings something entirely new to the castle while staying true to what we do best. Satisfying the crave.

[Griffin McElroy]

And I don't know if you heard, Travis, they put just the right amount of sauce on it, so it's not too much Orchard.

[Justin McElroy]

That is also what we do best.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

Satisfy the crave.

[Travis McElroy]

I would love to visit, like, a city I'm not familiar with. I'm hanging out with, like, my friend Todd, and I'm like, Todd, I've got such a craving for barbecue. What's the best barbecue in town? And he's like, oh, man, White Castle. If you want barbecue, there's no place like White Castle.

[Griffin McElroy]

We haven't had it yet. It might. I always reserve. Except for the cheesecake on a stick. I'm gonna say pretty authoritatively. I'm not interested in that eating experience. The barbecue might be lit. I don't know.

[Travis McElroy]

There's extra cheesy tater Tots. I'm not looking forward to that bathroom experience afterwards.

[Justin McElroy]

No, Travis, I never do this, but I actually would like to bring you in as a special reporter. I'm just going to text you the rest of this press release because it's going to start to feel made up. I feel like if I do, I.

[Travis McElroy]

Don'T know if I'm going to be.

[Justin McElroy]

Able to get through it. And I'm already feeling pretty. Yeah, I need you to. I need you. I'm just going to.

[Travis McElroy]

I need you to describe this to.

[Justin McElroy]

Griffin because Griffin's going to think I'm.

[Travis McElroy]

Fucking with it and you're texting it to me on my cellular device. On Slack. It's on Slack.

[Justin McElroy]

Slack to T, baby.

[Travis McElroy]

Craver Nation Rewards, we go now live.

[Justin McElroy]

To Travis McElroy, special correspondent.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm just.

[Justin McElroy]

Travis, go ahead.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. I'm excited for this opportunity. Craver Nation Rewards members rack up on flavor and savings. White Castle recently announced the start of season two of its Craver Nation Rewards program, the loyalty experience that turns saving money into a game. Craver Nation Rewards debuted in 2024 with overwhelming success, growing active members by 25% and doubling loyalty transactions in its first year. Now with season two, Cravers everywhere are invited to, quote, level up your cravings as they embark on a new journey filled with fresh quests, richer perks, and more exclusive offers.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean.

[Justin McElroy]

Finally, you know what's happening. White Castle's getting fucking real about the fact that it takes place in a castle. If this is gonna be the larping food place I'm in.

[Griffin McElroy]

Absolutely.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes, man.

[Travis McElroy]

Craver Nation Rewards has already transformed the way we connect with our Cravers by turning every order into an adventure. Richardson said. With season two, the journey gets even more exciting. More quests, more rewards, and more ways to celebrate the Crave. Now this is capitalized C. This is capital C, which makes me think that there is maybe a powerful wizard at play here or a curse.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm trying to honestly decide if I walked into a White Castle and the expected customer service experience was the jarl or whatever being like Dovahkiin. The Crave has. The Crave dragon has appeared in the mountain to the east and you want the new cheesy tots and the thing on a stick? The cheesecake on a stick? Yeah, absolutely. Got you. Quest complete. And you're.

[Travis McElroy]

Here's 50 crave coins. Here's 50 crave coins.

[Justin McElroy]

You guys are already getting amped, huh? I'm getting fucking stuck. But I'm getting pre amped too.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know that I want to have that. I don't want to interface with another human being in that way, but I want to have that information available to me.

[Travis McElroy]

Joining Craver Nation Rewards is free and easy. Simply download the official White Castle app, sign up and enjoy an instant welcome offer of $5 off your first mobile order to celebrate the launch. Cravers who order between now and September 30th will score 50 bonus points.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, so it's all in app. So this is more of an AR kind of quest and journey. I throw on the meta Ray Bans, which look so fucking cool, by the way.

[Travis McElroy]

We haven't talked about those.

[Griffin McElroy]

God damn, those things look so cool. And you know, they're doing cool stuff while riding on and it makes the White Castle look like a real magic fantasy castle and the person at the register look like a dragon. That sounds cool. White Castle. Make that. Make that couldn't be too hard.

[Justin McElroy]

Here's another question.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, please.

[Justin McElroy]

I take frequent walks around my neighborhood. Recently I got in the habit of taking pictures with my phone of plants and animals for the website Inaturalist, a citizen science platform. It's really cool and fun. This isn't an ad, by the way. I started to worry that you might think it's an ad listener.

[Travis McElroy]

But it's not an ad we also, that wasn't an ad for White Castle either. We're not. Just to be clear, we have never been paid for all the free promotion we've given.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, but I've Run into a problem, which is that things I want to take pics of are often either fully within a stranger's yard or in such a position that it could look like I was taking a picture of a random person's house. Like with birds on power lines. How do I take pictures of these plants and animals without making it look like I'm taking pictures of my neighbors houses without getting weird looks or questions about what I'm doing? I've missed out on so many sweet butterfly and bird shots. That's from juking judgment in Georgia.

[Travis McElroy]

I rarely do this, okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Because I know it's not the best energy to bring to the show, but you can't. Oh, there's no way to cloak this action, this behavior that will not intensify the danger of getting caught. There is no amount of subtlety you could employ. Because if I see you outside my house taking a picture with your phone, my hackles go up. If I see you outside of my house discreetly, like you're checking your watch, but you're taking a picture of my phone, that's bad news bears. That's way, way, way worse.

[Travis McElroy]

I agree, Griffin.

[Justin McElroy]

To look discreet makes you look more suspicious.

[Travis McElroy]

This is why what you must do is the opposite of cloaking it. You need. I'm saying maybe one of these maneuvers. Like you see where you're like holding up your finger framing the shot.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, Right.

[Travis McElroy]

Maybe you have like a DSLR camera with a zoom. You're wearing a safari helmet.

[Justin McElroy]

All bad ideas.

[Griffin McElroy]

The safari helmet, fun. That's the one good of the things you had, that's the one that fucks. Because if I see a stranger outside my house taking pictures of my house, no good. If I see but they're wearing a safari helmet, I'm like, they're on their own. Maybe they're doing a White Castle quest. Like, I don't know what their journey is, but I can't be ill intent.

[Travis McElroy]

If you're taking a picture of a little bug on a leaf, get down on its level. If I look outside and someone's laying on the ground taking a picture of a flower with a bug on it, I'm not worried they're taking pictures of me.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm not a bug on a leaf.

[Griffin McElroy]

Better or worse? Let me get a gut check from YouTube. Better or worse. They walk up, knock on the door. Someone knocks on your door, rings the doorbell, you answer it and you say, yeah, can I help you? And I realize this is already a fantasy story because I don't know if you Would answer it, but you've answered it, and you're like, can I help you? And they're like, I saw this really cool bug on a leaf out in your yard. May I please go snap it? Is that better or worse than them just doing it discreetly outside?

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, so I'm thinking about it. If I'm the homeowner.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I think my genuine reaction in my. I mean, like, obviously what I'm gonna say is, yeah. Oh, absolutely. You know, knock yourself out. In my head, I'm gonna think, what the hell is wrong with you? Yeah, I think, why did you ask? That's so weird. Just take a picture.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Would it be better.

[Travis McElroy]

So weird.

[Griffin McElroy]

Would be better if they did it and came up, knock on the door, you answered it again. You wouldn't, But. But assuming you answered it, and they're like, hi, I just took a picture of a cool bug on a leaf in your yard, and I'm really sorry. And then they walk away, then you're not having to give them sort of permission. They're just informing you, like, hey, I'm not robbing.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm not.

[Travis McElroy]

Forgiveness.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. And that can feel good too.

[Travis McElroy]

Would a sign help if they were holding up a sign that said nature photographer while they took pictures of things?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Oh.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, okay. Okay, okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

What if you. If you have more than one thing? That's a hobbyist. Right. So you're taking pictures on your phone.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. Do you have a notebook?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

Do you have binoculars?

[Travis McElroy]

These are all things. Wait, Justin, these are still all private. No, no, no.

[Justin McElroy]

This is all really good stuff, Travis.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sunscreen. A little line of sunscreen on the nose.

[Justin McElroy]

Sunscreen right here, right?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

Water bottle. Big water bottle.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

Maybe a safari helmet.

[Justin McElroy]

What about the backpack?

[Travis McElroy]

That's a water thing.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's cool. Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

That's somebody who's gonna be outside for so long, they can't be doing anything bad with the pictures. What about a butterfly?

[Travis McElroy]

A butterfly net.

[Griffin McElroy]

Butterfly net's good. We're pushing it. Safari helmet has turned on me a little bit. Cause it feels a little costumey. Now it's gone back around to, oh, this is a fucking ruse to take pictures of my house discreetly. The other shit is like, oh, well, they might just need the butterfly net for their. For their bug.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't know how big I would need. I don't know how small I would need. The butterfly. I think a butterfly net. I think the butterfly net, the size of it. The problem is if it's big enough to catch a butterfly comfortably at 20 yards. That might be a man net. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

It might be like the child catcher in babes into our Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Yeah, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm not sure if it's like a big sack over your bag, you know what I mean?

[Travis McElroy]

Like, I don't know, full of screaming butterflies.

[Justin McElroy]

Right, Exactly.

[Travis McElroy]

No, honey, don't go outside. The lepidopterist is here.

[Justin McElroy]

This is why they gotta start selling those cranking cameras again. You're the cranking guys that. You're not being discreet. You're being very obvious. It's too. All photography is so discreet. Ooh, what if, like the drapa over the back that we loved in the old garage and one of those things, daguerreotype day.

[Travis McElroy]

You hold up the flash thing where.

[Griffin McElroy]

You got a big stick powder.

[Travis McElroy]

I want them to bring that back because I don't know when I'm at a big fancy thing like the launching of the Titanic without a big flash.

[Griffin McElroy]

Bulb going on, when to smile. I know. That's so embarrassing.

[Justin McElroy]

Do you think at this point, by the way, I was. I was thinking about it as I accidentally activated my flash. Is that the point of the flash anymore is just to have something to turn off just like that. Do you think we are using. Do you think that when the flash has been triggered in the past five years, it has more often been accidental.

[Travis McElroy]

Accompanying accident, saying, ah, fuck.

[Justin McElroy]

Damn it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, shit. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Bug net's cool. Bug net might be the move, dude. I would love to have a bug net with me. You guys don't have them spotted lanternflies yet, do you? Cause we got them like a plague over here.

[Travis McElroy]

I think you're supposed to kill them.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cause they. Otherwise they eat all the trees. They're like invasive. So you're supposed to gush them when you see them. But here's the problem, gang. They make a big hakuna matata style gooey mess when you goosh them. And so, like, there is a. I don't wanna. Like, I understand. It's my duty as an. As an American citizen. I mean, I live in D.C. so it's like kind of up in the air whether or not I am or not. But I don't wanna get my shoes all like, hakuna matata. Hakuna matati.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't blame you. You need bug squishing shoes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

That's what crocs are for, baby.

[Griffin McElroy]

Or a salt gun. I do have the salt blaster and that's effective. But that's not a cool look. Either.

[Justin McElroy]

Sorry. Not assault gun.

[Griffin McElroy]

A gun for salt. Thank you. On bugs.

[Justin McElroy]

A gun for assault on bugs.

[Griffin McElroy]

Salt. Sodium chloride.

[Justin McElroy]

There we go.

[Griffin McElroy]

Table granular and Portuguese.

[Travis McElroy]

Sounds like Portuguese. I don't know if that was clear.

[Griffin McElroy]

Pump blast. No more bug. Can't bring in public.

[Justin McElroy]

Can I do salt? Does salt get him? Salt gets anything, dude.

[Griffin McElroy]

Man alive. This thing is a. It is an effective tool. It's one. It's so good, it makes me feel pretty guilty anytime I do have to employ it to keep my family safe.

[Justin McElroy]

I wish it was that easy to get stink bugs. I'm about to have to start fighting with the stink bugs because they hate it when it gets cold.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Man decides to live with me. And the only trap that really works for stink bugs is you got to make basically a pool for them. And then you have to get lights on the pool. That's just special. Like you have to specially dramatically light the pool. And then you got. Then you got to hope that these guys go into this pool and they just don't.

[Griffin McElroy]

Crazy. That's crazy.

[Justin McElroy]

That's how you gotta get them. And in the morning you dump that out.

[Travis McElroy]

I just let them hang out. It becomes a fun game where my kids.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, I don't fight him anymore.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't want it. I don't want to do anymore. They live there. It is fine. They can hang until they find a better place.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you so much. Hey, thanks for listening to our podcast. Do you want to come see us live? You can. Ok. For you, this is an option if you're someone who can get to Salt Lake City on October 17th or to San Diego on October 18th and 19th.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, the adventure Zone show we're doing is going to be a very special. It's our 50th Taz Live Show. So we'll be doing a balance live show for the first time in a long time with special guest Erica Ishii. And Griffin's going to gm. It's going to be a wild, wild time. Tickets for all those shows are available now. You can go to Bit Ly Macroytours for all the information and ticket links. Also, Champions Grove is coming back for year three. We're doing it Memorial Day weekend of 2026. Tickets are going on sale the first week of November. Those tickets will be packages for two to four people to attend. All the information [e-mail] or you can follow Championsgrove on Instagram for all the information. And there's a new season of mine and Theresa's Great British Bake Off Watch Along Discussion podcast Bake On. This is a wild season so far.

[Griffin McElroy]

Pretty wild, man.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, you can find Bake on wherever podcasts are found.

[Griffin McElroy]

We got some new merch. It's going to be up in the merch store on Wednesday at the start of the new month. There's a Taz Hunger beanie that looks so rad. And 10% of all our merch proceeds in the month of October will be donated to Border Angels whose services include educational programs, water drops in the desert, day laborer outreach, Familias Reunite US Immigration bond fund program and shelter aid support in Tijuana to help migrants and asylum seekers in need. So all that stuff is gonna be.

[Travis McElroy]

[e-mail] Are we grateful to Montaigne? Let me check.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes, check please.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes, we are grateful to Montaigne.

[Griffin McElroy]

Why? But why be specific?

[Travis McElroy]

For the use of our theme song My life is better with you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes, that's exactly right.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm super duper duper grateful to Montaigne. I've seen a lot of videos of Montaigne just like tearing shit up on stage and I want to go to that. That seems fine.

[Justin McElroy]

Be fun.

[Travis McElroy]

I've got the fear here.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, please tell me the fear.

[Travis McElroy]

This year I will be faster than my fear of misidentifying birds in front of the cool older birders. They are not better than me.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's good.

[Justin McElroy]

My name is Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm Travis McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Griffin McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

This has been my brother. My brother may kiss your dad square on the lips.

[Montagne (musical performer)]

Is it better with you? My life, it's better, it's better with you it's better my life, it's better, it's better with you. Is it true? It's better, it's better with you my.

[Griffin McElroy]

Life.

[Montagne (musical performer)]

It'S better with you.

[Justin McElroy]

Maximum Fun.

[Griffin McElroy]

A worker owned network of artist owned shows supported directly by you.