MBMBaM 784: Can You Escape Hatred Cove?

Summary

My Brother, My Brother and Me (MBMBaM) Episode 784: Can You Escape Hatred Cove?

Release Date: October 13, 2025
Hosts: Justin McElroy, Travis McElroy, Griffin McElroy

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Episode Overview

In episode 784, the McElroy brothers dive deeply into their signature blend of absurdist comedy, brotherly banter, and questionable advice, covering everything from forgotten childhood tickles and the sacred exchange of grandma quilts to an elaborate dramatic reading of "The Rock's" transformation story from a recent Graham Norton Show. The episode is woven through with their usual cultural observations, plenty of punchlines, and a new running gag about “Hatred Cove.” Expect detours into celebrity impersonations, reality TV marketing collaborations, and protocol for eavesdropping on strangers in restaurants.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Ticklish Brothers & Familial Blind Spots

[02:04 - 05:37]

• Griffin wonders if he's a bad brother for not knowing if his siblings are ticklish.
  • "Should I have tried to tickle?" —Griffin [03:31]
• Travis unpacks family dynamics: “On the scale of things you don’t know about us, whether we’re ticklish or not isn’t high up.” [05:19]
• Justin shares about stretching the truth (“deathly allergic to pumpkins”) on his pumpkin contest bio. The brothers spiral into bit after bit about “pumpkin martyrdom.”
  • “My bit's gonna be that if I hit five Gs, at six Gs I no longer have to eat the pumpkin.” —Justin [06:50]

2. The Rock, Graham Norton, and Matthew McConaughey: A Dramatic Reenactment

[07:52 - 26:38]

• The brothers stage a hilarious, semi-serious dramatic reading of a conversation between Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Matthew McConaughey from the Graham Norton Show.
  • They debate who should play whom, focusing on the futility of celebrity impressions, wanting instead to “let the words stand.”
• Notable Exchanges:
  • On The Rock’s transformation:
    “‘There was a voice behind my rib cage that was just telling me, right...’” —Griffin, as The Rock [14:48]
  • Matthew McConaughey’s inspirational monologue:
     “I had that 4am in my solitude, on my own truth that hit me, that lands like a butterfly and strikes like a lightning bolt at the same time.” —Travis, as McConaughey [16:34]
  • Jokes about McConaughey’s alternate careers: "Wildlife guide. Maybe I go back to law school." [18:39]
• The brothers riff on the difference between taking big risks as “unbranding” for a career move, and if The Rock is destined for Oscar gold— or not.
  • “Perhaps the losses are not so great when one's going home with Oscar gold.” —Justin [26:07]
  • “You can also live in the comfort of knowing that because we live in a multiverse, there is a universe that exists where The Rock wins all the Oscars that night.” —Travis [26:42]

3. Absurdist Thought Experiments: The Apple in a Box

[27:12 - 28:32]

• Griffin proposes that in an infinite multiverse, if you put an apple in a box “forever,” eventually it could become an iPhone—or anything at all—via entropy.
  • "If you put all the apple particles in the box...they’ll turn into anything and be any form of matter imaginable." —Griffin [28:11]
• Travis and Justin riff about the logistics and philosophical implications, leading to more surreal comedy.

4. Advice Segment: Acquiring a Quilt from Someone's Grandma

[28:33 - 34:13]

• Listener asks how to acquire a quilt from a friend’s grandma without being rude.
  • “It’s like the quilt is a gift of the grandma.” —Griffin [29:03]
  • “If you want a quilt, I’m sure you can. There are quilt artists in your area that you could contract to do this. What is it about these grandma's quilt?” —Griffin [31:39]
• The brothers dissect gift politics, the value of “grandma energy,” and imagine a heartless “quilts for favors” barter system.
  • Joke: “Why buy the grandma if you can get the quilt for free?” —Travis [32:44]
  • The idea of a grandma repossessing a quilt if you stop returning her calls.

5. Munch Squad: The Ranchy Baddie Bowl & Reality TV Marketing

[39:35 - 47:10]

• Justin brings a new edition of Munch Squad about Sweetgreen’s “Ranchy Baddie Bowl,” a salad co-created with reality TV couple “Nickelandria” from Love Island.
  • “The Ranchy Baddie bowl is the Perfect mix of heat and crunch… available for a limited time.” —Justin [41:15]
• They lampoon the prevalence of “celebrity” food collaborations and invent a hierarchy of reality show locations culminating in “Hatred Cove,” providing the episode’s titular gag.
  • “But can you escape Hatred Cove?” —Travis [41:51]
  • “If you fuck up—back to Hatred Cove.” —Justin [41:58]
• Opinion: Frustration with needing to know “Instagram neologisms” (celebrity couple names) to order fast food.

6. Social Etiquette: The Ethics of Eavesdropping

[48:13 - 53:46]

• Listener asks if it’s okay to chime in with the answer to strangers’ overheard restaurant conversations.
  • The consensus is generally “no,” due to social contract, privacy, and the risk of being wrong.
  • “No. I don't think there's any daylight here, man.” —Griffin [50:35]
  • Travis holds out hope: “Maybe you guys aren’t. I’ve done this before, and I am a welcomed addition to any table and friend group.” [52:38]
• They riff on AI glasses, "mid-journey" prompts, and intrusive technology hypotheticals.

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Notable Quotes

• “Should I have tried to tickle?” —Griffin [03:31]
• “All I do is pop your toes without warning.” —Travis [04:17]
• “The Rock will be tough because his voice isn’t just deep. There is a richness…that is hard to emulate.” —Griffin [11:27]
• “I had that 4am in my solitude, on my own truth that hit me, that lands like a butterfly and strikes like a lightning bolt at the same time.” —Travis (as McConaughey) [16:34]
• “Why buy the grandma if you can get the quilt for free?” —Travis [32:44]
• “If you put all the apple particles in the box, they’ll…turn into anything and be any form of matter imaginable.” —Griffin [28:11]
• “But can you escape Hatred Cove?” —Travis [41:51]
• “You know the great thing about that story? It keeps getting older, and I keep seeing myself in it.” —Justin [23:22]

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [02:04–05:37] — Ticklishness & Pumpkin Contest Anecdote
• [07:52–26:38] — Dramatic Reading: The Rock, McConaughey, & Graham Norton
• [28:33–34:13] — Advice: Getting a Quilt from a Grandma
• [39:35–47:10] — Munch Squad: Sweetgreen, Love Island, and “Hatred Cove”
• [48:13–53:46] — Advice: Correcting Strangers’ Conversations

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Tone and Noteworthy Moments

• Playful and Irreverent: The brothers frequently “yes, and” each other’s tangents, keeping everything just shy of chaos.
• Memorable Recurring Jokes: “Hatred Cove,” “Rock Skirt,” “From Jumanji to Moana.”
• Sincere Underpinnings: Despite the goofs, there are moments of real talk about family, boundaries, and self-transformation (even if filtered through McElroy parody).

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For listeners and newcomers alike, this episode is an energetic testament to the McElroys’ improvisational ethos, punctuated with laughs, meta-commentary, and surreal larks into pop culture, etiquette, and familial weirdness.

Transcript

[A]

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

[B]

It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into a precious friends I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life, it feels like it's better it's better with you My life, it's better it's better with you this is who you are it's better, it's better with two what's better with you?

[C]

Hello everybody. Welcome to My Brother, My Brother, Me and Advice show for the Modren era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

[D]

What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middle brother, Travis. Big dog, wolf of room for a McElroy.

[A]

What's up, Trav Nation? It's your sweet baby brother Griffin. 30 under 30, built Ford tough McElroy. Why did you send me a TikTok, Travis, the second we started recording?

[D]

Because we were talking about it.

[C]

We were talking about things that you.

[D]

Were talking about right before we started recording. Oh, right.

[C]

It was a travel recommendation you request specifically from him.

[A]

I just got the notification, quite delayed, so I thought you were like, dude, you're never going to believe what donkey lips looks like now or whatever the fuck the kind of tiktoks.

[D]

No, you would believe it, actually.

[C]

I would, absolutely. Because I put the gentleman that portrayed donkey Lips in a cameo for Travis, so he would actually definitely believe what donkey lips looks like now. Yeah, that's a fair point if you need a cameo. The guy who played Donkey Lips really delivered. It was like seven minutes long. It was fantastic.

[A]

Really, really solid shit. Hey, Rachel and I were talking the other night.

[C]

Michael Bower.

[A]

Michael Bower has a name. I apologize. I felt so bad every time I said the guy who played donkey Lips. I know.

[C]

I wanted to give him a name.

[A]

Yeah, he has a name. Rachel asked me a question. We were talking about.

[C]

I wanted to. Sorry, I just wanted to. I wanted to clarify. I searched up his name and not his political interests or affiliations.

[D]

So no gang.

[A]

Just to.

[D]

Not to say it's bad.

[C]

Not to say it's bad or good.

[A]

But we simply don't have time to vet while we're in the fucking flow state. You can't vet in the float state. It's important.

[C]

Can't vet in the float.

[A]

Rachel and I were talking about our boys and how they are. They're pretty ticklish. They're pretty ticklish little guys. So much so that you don't have to be trying to. It just will happen sometimes. And then Rachel said, you're not very ticklish. I said, no. She said, what about your brothers? And immediately I was hit with, like, 15 different feelings, emotions, reactions down in my soul. Like, I don't know. I don't know if my brothers are ticklish. Should I know if my brothers are ticklish? Yeah. How would I know? How could I find out? Did I tickle them?

[D]

I was the little one together as children.

[A]

I don't think I tickled you guys much, but I was the littlest one, so it felt like the tickling a lot. But I don't think we tickled, should I say.

[D]

I don't wanna call you out, Griffin, but I knew you weren't ticklish. And I know Justin was extremely ticklish. I don't know about his current state.

[C]

But, like, what's feeling regretful now that you brought this up?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I wish I could go back in time to a time when I was tickling you and say, like, remember this? You know what I mean? Cause, like, I don't.

[A]

I don't remember any time I ever tickled him. Of course I remember you guys tickling me up. This is a cute little guy pie. You gotta get in there. But I don't remember going after you guys. And then I felt like, should I have tried to tickle?

[C]

Natural order is so we know tickling is how bigger mammals teach smaller mammals where the bleeding parts are, Right? So it's how you teach them to defend. And so there's no need for you to teach me where not to get.

[A]

Down your bleeding parts are. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Or where I want to make it.

[D]

Blow on your belly, though. And you'd go nuts for it. Justin laughing, giggling Griffin. I would pop your toes without warning.

[A]

You would do that, you nasty fucking hog.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Until eventually you're like, yeah, okay.

[A]

You still do that shit?

[D]

It's satisfying as well.

[A]

You catch the puppers out backstage at a show.

[D]

The goal is to give all five. All five in one.

[C]

Colin. Petey Pupper puller.

[A]

Petey pupper puller coming round the stinky feet backstage.

[C]

Pupper puller pulling perfect puppies.

[A]

People asking, hey, can we come? Let us get some. Some passes back to the green room. After the show, I say, you don't want to be there.

[C]

Get your. The guest list.

[D]

Hope you're wearing shoes.

[C]

Pumpkin puller, not pumpkin.

[A]

I'm not tickling my kids. I realize tickling is like a charged subject these days. It just felt like.

[D]

Is it?

[A]

I didn't know. I don't know, man. I just felt like I didn't know.

[C]

Feels like everything is these days.

[A]

Should I have known?

[C]

Should I have.

[A]

Am I a bad. Am I a worse brother for not knowing, or.

[D]

I think on the scale of things you don't know about us, I would say whether we're ticklish or not isn't high up of bad things to know.

[A]

Thank you. Yeah.

[C]

So you gotta let people grow, you know? And maybe just because we were ticklish when we were kids doesn't mean, you know how we're at now. Right.

[D]

I mean, the other day. Cause Justin's doing a pumpkin carving contest for the Huntington Children's Museum, and he put on the thing that he's allergic to pumpkins. And Teresa asked me, like, is that true? And I said, I don't know. Which is, I think on the grand scheme of things, way worse. Way worse.

[C]

Oh, man. Okay, so listen. I waited till the last minute to fill out my bio for the pumpkin carving contest for the Huntington Children's Museum. And I said two things in that. In that bio that I wrote, I wrote, in the bio that I did wait until the last minute to do, I wrote that I am deathly allergic to pumpkins. I wrote that I'm deathly allergic to pumpkins. And I wrote that if I raised $5,000, I would eat my pumpkin raw. Now you probably can't guess what state I was in when I filled out my bio materials.

[A]

Yeah, sure.

[C]

Children's Museum pumpkin carving contest. But, yeah, I would just love any support I could get there. Cause I did not that. Yeah, that was not true what I wrote. But now the posts that they have started resharing are like, this brave hero. I appreciate Justin's sacrifice.

[D]

Not a brave hero. Yeah, I would say more of a pumpkin martyr.

[C]

Well, my bit is gonna be if I can hit five GS, my bet's gonna be that at six GS, I no longer have to eat the pumpkin. So it's gonna be. Yeah. And I'll keep just holding myself hostage.

[A]

That's great. That's great. Was that the story you wanted to tell?

[C]

No.

[A]

Wow, you got some fucking yarn spinner over there. You brought up so much interesting shit happening.

[C]

He brought up the pumpkin carving Thing that wasn't even my. I didn't bring that.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I'm not judging the multi layered.

[A]

I'm saying you live a life full of stories, and that's like I'm.

[C]

Stories of passion, stories of friendship, and tales of how romance survives.

[D]

Guys, do you ever look back over, like our past couple months of episodes and think we could have been talking. We could have been doing a Tron Watch and we could be doing a Tron Watch.

[A]

We let that one slide, Right?

[C]

Let's let next episode be very, very Tron Watch centric travel. Let's put the time in because I don't want to throw that together. Instead, I just want to follow up on the rock skirt real quick.

[A]

Fucking yeah, man. Yeah, this is.

[C]

This is. Guys, sometimes I feel like the universe is kind of forming things around me, and I think that's a pretty human experience. Right? You got to shake it.

[D]

But sometimes, all the time, you feel like that.

[A]

Sometimes 100% of the time, 100 of.

[C]

The time, I try to fight that urge because I don't think it's healthy.

[D]

But I was the only perspective I've got.

[A]

Just kind of fucked up to say right in front of you.

[C]

I was watching the Graham Norton show with my wife and Your wife was.

[D]

On the Graham Norton Show. That's a huge thing.

[C]

That would be a huge.

[A]

Did she mention us? Did she say shit about.

[C]

No, no. They had a huge. They had huge wattage. They had Emily Watson.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And James Norton, I think was his name.

[D]

Emma Watson.

[C]

What?

[D]

Emma Watson.

[C]

Emily Blunt.

[D]

Emily Blunt.

[A]

Different. Yeah.

[C]

James Norton, I think is his name, right?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

He's an actor. James Norton.

[A]

There is an actress named Emily Watson who is in Punch Truck Love.

[C]

No, this is Emily Blunt. Okay. James Norton.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

And Graham Norton, the host of the Graham Norton Show. No relation.

[A]

Be fucked up if he wasn't there, man.

[C]

And Matthew McConaughey.

[D]

Oh, all right.

[C]

And the rock.

[A]

And the rock. Look up at the sky. It's a pitch black void because all the stars.

[C]

So, guys, I want to tell you that the subject of the rock and the rock skirt and the rock transformation came up. And it came up at a time when Matthew McConaughey was also on stage. And what transpired was so fucking great that I wanted to include basically eight minutes of the Graham Norton show in our show.

[A]

I don't think you are allowed to.

[D]

No. But can you imagine there is no.

[A]

Like, podcast board authority who could, like, do fucking anything to us at this point, but we should probably be better.

[C]

Yeah. So what There is not a law against, though, is watching it over and over and over again and transcribing it yourself by hand and then having your brothers read it with you to, like, recreate. There's no law against that at all. Okay, that's true.

[A]

So who's he gonna give the rock to? Probably Juicer's gonna take that.

[C]

Well, I wanted to ask you guys if you guys were gonna be. If one of you was the Rock and one of you was Matthew McConaughey. While I'm sharing this, I wanted you guys to figure it out. I'll be Graham Norton, but Stefan would.

[D]

Do a better McConaughey than me.

[A]

Travis has just grabbed a jug.

[D]

Well, I had an empty drug up there and I didn't want to show it in the.

[A]

Oh, I thought you were getting a fucking prop because you're like, here's the Rock and his jug. Everyone knows the Rock is never without his physical jug. He's great.

[D]

He's practicing for a live action Emmett Otters drug Band Christmas.

[A]

Yeah, sure.

[D]

With the Rock.

[A]

I ran a hole in the washtub.

[C]

Even though this will be a dramatic section of the show.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I do want to encourage if we need to take a break at any point for discussion. And it's a deeply incredible thing that exists, and I don't want to rush through it. Have you received the script? It's called the Rock script.

[A]

Through what medium will we be receiving this?

[C]

I shared it in your email address. If you can look in your email address, you should see it there.

[A]

I will say written out. It does look like it says rock scar, which is hard.

[C]

Yeah, it's hard to say the Rock Scar. It's part of the appeal. Now, I will say this. Please don't read ahead first thing. Cause we need it fresh. Second thing I'll say is that I did my best at transcribing it. Please don't make any bits about how it's transcribed. Just like, do your best.

[A]

Because obviously I'll do my very best. Dude.

[C]

There's no humor in that. Cause I did my best.

[A]

Let's start here. Can we start here? I don't think it would be particularly hard to throw together a Graham Norton impression. I think any one of us can handle that. The Rock will be tough because his voice isn't just deep. It is. There is a richness to it that is hard to emulate if you just don't got the vocal cords for it. I think we start with Matthew McConaughey assigning that one because it feels like, that's the one that a bad version of is going to stick out the most. Okay, so just.

[C]

I will. It's just that Matthew McConaughey talks the most in this section, and you don't.

[A]

Want it to sound like a bad Matthew McConaughey impression the whole time.

[C]

I just don't want it to feel like I would.

[D]

Joke.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay, Griffin, I'll take a shot of McConaughey, you take a shot at the Rock.

[A]

Okay. But let's use just sort of our normal voices with a little bit, because Justin's right. We don't want the joke to be our impressions. He worked pretty hard on this.

[C]

Okay, thank you.

[A]

It should be about the words. Justin's not gonna say that out loud.

[C]

It's unreal that Matthew McConaughey is still McConaugheying as hard as he is. And I am so fucking happy.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm so happy.

[A]

All right.

[C]

You know the drd.

[A]

I'm Timeout. So I'll stop it right here because I think it's better if we stop it right away instead of get into it and then have to interrupt the flow state. We did just say we weren't going to do, like, crazy impressions.

[C]

Yeah, Unless it's, like, fucking sick. Like.

[A]

Yeah, but you understand that unless it's sick. By doing that, you are casting a shadow over Jabbar.

[D]

Too high.

[A]

So do you want the joke to be about the words or the voice?

[C]

No, no, no, no, no. Okay, okay. I'll be Graham Norton. I'm just making that clear. The only other thing is Griff, he only talks for, like, one little section, so I just wanted to have a little bit of fun for the one bit that I get to talk.

[A]

For sure, for sure. But people are going to be thinking about. Because it is the introduction. While me and Travis are reading the important words you wrote. They're gonna be.

[D]

So what a sign of a great interviewer. You know what I mean? Sure. He just lets the people talk.

[C]

Okay. Yes, you're right. Okay. You're right, you're right, you're right. And I'm sorry. Here we go. You know, the idea of Dwayne Johnson disappearing in. By the way, just so we're clear, that is where we're at now, folks.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Dwayne Johnson. Cool. The idea that Dwayne Johnson disappearing in any role, you kind of think, oh, how can you transform? But you do. What? And it's. It's not just a physical thing because it's obviously this hair. But what other Things went on.

[A]

It was about 22 prosthetics. We had Kazuhiro, our Oscar winning prosthetic artist, and he helped me transform. There was also vocal transformation, too. But the idea, I think, of transforming for me was something that, you know, I didn't know that I was. I didn't know that was for me. And I wanted to do that because a lot of times in the movies that I've made in the past, the bigger movies, they're big and they're fun, and I've liked them from Jumanji to Moana. And I'll go back to those.

[C]

He says that dude. He says, from Jumanchi to Moana.

[A]

Jumanjing, Moana, Moana.

[C]

Bananas by the bunch. Bucks that taste so good.

[A]

Okay, and I'll go back to those. But there was something about this opportunity where there was a little. There was a voice behind my rib cage that was just telling me, right. So I had shared.

[D]

Demi, his heart.

[C]

This is the first time the Rocks ever listened to his heart.

[A]

It's unrest.

[D]

It was like. I feel it.

[C]

It was.

[D]

I don't know, a voice behind my ribcage. What's in there?

[C]

My lungs.

[A]

So I had shared.

[C]

I looked at a building and thought, what if it didn't explode?

[A]

So I had shared this with Emily for years.

[D]

Emily Hoon.

[C]

Sorry, the Rock.

[A]

Sorry. Emily Blunt or Watson from Punch Drunk Love, one of the two. For years. It's just. It's gnawing at my gut to do more and challenge myself and grow and do something where I'm not chasing Box, but I'm doing it for me. Yeah. And it wound up being the most greatest, most gratifying thing. And I've said this before, and I mean it. The Smashing Machine changed my life.

[C]

Okay, now, this is important. So far, Matthew McConaughey has not, to this point, as far as I could.

[A]

Clock, spoken at all on the whole segment.

[C]

At all. On this entire episode of the Graham Norton show, period. Maybe at the beginning, it's like some. Like, whatever. But then, like. Matthew McConaughey.

[A]

Hey.

[C]

Is fully awoken by the story that the Rock has just told about the journey for the Rock. Skirt. Travis, if you would.

[A]

And Travis again, this is quite a. Quite a speech. So just don't. We are.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. I had that 4am in my solitude. Now, wait, now, let me stop it right here.

[C]

Because we were both so brave in our not.

[D]

I had that 4am in my solitude on my own truth. That hit me.

[A]

Fucking good start, dude.

[C]

Yeah, I know, man.

[D]

Wait, guys, you Gotta let me get a rhythm.

[C]

Yeah, you gotta let him get through a sentence, Griffin.

[A]

You're right, you're right, you're right.

[D]

Gotta let me get a rhythm going here.

[C]

Okay, Okay.

[D]

I had that 4am in my solitude, on my own truth that hit me, that lands like a butterfly and strikes like a lightning bolt at the same time. That truth that you go, okay, tomorrow, when the sun comes up.

[C]

Now, Griffin, do not read along. Focus on your brother. Just listen to your brother.

[A]

Right now, I'm full screen, my brother.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't think the rock talks again at this fucking segment. So I'm cocked out.

[D]

That truth that you go, okay, tomorrow when the sun comes up and I'm back in the masses and all the world's coming at me and all those offers. I need to remember this truth. Now, I've been trying to get dramas and was even offering huge pay cuts and they were like, no, stay in your lane, McConaughey. You're the ROM com guy. You got that down. Mind you, I enjoyed them.

[C]

But.

[D]

But I was wanting to do something different from Jumanji. I couldn't do what I called from Jumanji to Moana.

[A]

From Moana.

[D]

I get it, dude, please ask me.

[A]

To do more of those. Please.

[C]

If my brother, my brothery episode goes by where I do not say from Jumanji tomorrow. I failed, okay, Sorry.

[D]

I said, wait. Yeah, but I was wanting to do something different because I couldn't do what I wanted to do. I said, I gotta stop doing what I'm doing. So I said, no more. No more rom coms. Called the agent. I said, let the town know it's not going to happen. I went to Texas. Camilla's pregnant on the ranch. Quiet down there. Camilla says to me, look, you don't know how long it's going to be dry. How long you going to not go with work? This could go on, but this is non negotiable. We're not going back. I was like, not going back. Now a year goes by. No, nothing, nothing. He did go darker than my agent. I called my agent. He goes, matthew, I haven't heard your name in six months. Am I going? Okay, I may have just wrote myself a one way ticket out of Hollywood. I start to think about other vacations, school teacher, other vocations, school teacher, wildlife guide. Maybe I go back to law school. How long now?

[C]

We will take a brief rest here.

[A]

How, how, how much, how little of this syllabus. Is Matthew McConaughey, the schoolteacher, going to cover in any Given day, I feel like you're going to get. Once you reach long time.

[D]

I did say only 16 questions today before we even get started, but, Todd. Yeah, Go, go. In Sahara, when you were working with.

[C]

Yeah. I was not even thinking about, of.

[A]

Course, the constant Q and A people would have. I was just thinking of Matthew McConaughey trying to, like, you know, get into the Battle of Versailles and just really just taking a long time, taking a long walk to get there.

[D]

His vocations that he lists off school teacher are school. And listen, I'm not one to hate on Hollywood people. They're working hard, and I'd love to be one. But it does show a little bit of a disconnect with the job market when you're trying to think of jobs and you're like, schoolteacher, wildlife guide.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And then maybe to me, the most go back to law school.

[C]

Okay. But, like, if you were to look at Matthew McConaughey, I think this shows a wonderful awareness of who Matthew McConaughey is as a person. Like, if I wasn't doing this, probably like a fucking teacher or a wildlife guy or something.

[A]

What if he kept going and he'd be like. Or like a treasure hunter or astronaut, physicist.

[C]

Travis, I thought you'd be more excited that the Lincoln Lawyer was so close to being an actual reality.

[D]

This is what I'm saying is he has done quite a few movies where he has been a law guy.

[A]

Yeah, for sure.

[D]

My question is, was there a time when Matthew McConaughey was in law school that now would necessitate going back to.

[C]

I mean, let's hope, right?

[A]

Yep. Let's hope there's more.

[C]

Anyway, back to the script. All right.

[D]

18 months goes by. I really think I've done it. I'm out. I get this romantic action comedy comes with an $8 million offer. I read it. I passed. I say, no, thank you. Comes back with a $10 million offer. I said, no, thank you. Comes back with a $12 million offer. I said, no, thank you. It comes back with a $14.5 million offer. I said, let me read that thing again. Same words as the $8 million offer. But it was better. It was funnier. I could see myself, this could work, right? But I ultimately said, no.

[C]

This fucking story, by the way, killed. I was, like, dying on the ground for sure. Fucking, it is funnier. I could see myself in it. Fucking love. Matthew McConaughey, still in his element. Everyone else on stage still just kind of listening to Matthew McConaughey.

[A]

Yeah, he can.

[C]

He can say, oh, sorry, Graham Norton, just say something here that must be so hard to say no to.

[D]

It was. But if saying no to it, I think, sent a little invisible message to Hollywood. Oh, McConaughey is not bluffing. We were talking about not flinching. Yes. Ask permission. Oh, he's playing offense. He's not just doing nothing. He's playing.

[C]

He's.

[D]

He's. He's onto something. And 20 months, two months after I turned that down, the offer came in that I was looking for, and they came in in droves. It went Killer Joe Mud, the True Detective, Dallas Buyers, Magic Mike, they came in, everything I was looking for. And I would not have. They would not have come in if I wouldn't have unbranded for that 20 months. Yes. All right, now, Dwayne, you didn't have to unbrand. You had enough steam going. I can make whatever choice I want, and I'm going to make this thing happen over here. It was a time for me where I had to unbrand, and it took 20 months, but then I was doing. And all of a sudden, my work was challenging the vitality of my life. I was like, there you go. Yeah, I know. Absolutely.

[A]

He puts a lot of. He throws a lot of, like, seasoning on the ends of his sentences, which I guess, like, he came up with to be like, yeah, today I went to the doctor and I got some routine lab work done. Yeah, all right, all right.

[C]

It is his, like. But he's like. He spins it a little bit just to give himself another half second to come up with, like, just the dopest stuff, man.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

We all have filler words. His just happened to be fucking chill.

[A]

Trademarked. Yeah.

[D]

Like, unbelievable.

[A]

Yeah, that's cool.

[C]

The idea that the Rock would be like. But this is the moment that I got to see is, like, the Rock being like, I'm trying so hard to get the Rock skirt, and there's, like, nobody that could appreciate my journey. And then Matthew McConaughey's like, well, hold on.

[A]

Hold on one second. Hold on.

[C]

You know the great thing about that story?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It keeps getting older, and I keep seeing myself in it. That is.

[D]

I also. I want to point out, guys, that was fucking great.

[A]

Really, really, really unhinged. Really, truly, truly, like, peak. Outer space, fucking space alien shit.

[D]

Outside of Matthew McConaughey on a talk show, if you're out at a party and just some random person you're talking and they jump in with this, the only response you will logically give is, okay, all Right, Great.

[C]

So awesome.

[D]

What I was saying was I do.

[A]

Think it's a little fucked how he says, you didn't have to unbrand the Rock. You were a smashing machine already and the stars really aligned for you. To that I would say, hey, Matt McConaughey, why not just be in a really good rom com? Well, you want to be pushed and challenged and get big awards for your work just being a super good rom com that does that.

[C]

This is what the Rock all the Rock asked is, I would like to still play a wrestler. I just don't want to also wear a dress. Yeah, I want to be a wrestler. I just also don't want to be the Tooth Fairy and have magic powers.

[A]

That's all I do.

[D]

Much I would like to be a big man that throws people around but not work for Santa Claus, if that's possible. Yeah, well, actually I haven't seen the Smashing Machine. I don't know for sure that that guy doesn't work for Santa Claus.

[A]

The Smashing Machine. Yeah, he does.

[D]

It's not brought up in the trailers, but you can't show everything.

[A]

I don't think the Safdies would peddle in such low brow mainstream ideas.

[D]

Should we do a question on our advice show?

[A]

I'd love to.

[C]

Yeah. In our storytelling world, you can't control box office results. But what I realize you can control is your performance and your commitment to completely disappear and go elsewhere. And I will always run to that opportunity. It was my honor to transform in this role for my director, Benny Saadfi. Thank you brother for believing in me. Truth is, this film has changed my life with deep gratitude, respect and radical empathy.

[D]

DJ can I also point out, Justin, that another theme. Yeah. A clear theme is he wants that rock scar. Another clear theme is he doesn't think this movie is going to do well at the box office.

[C]

Travis, that is settled.

[A]

Almost guaranteed.

[C]

Travis, that is settled. It looks to lose between 10 to 15 million dollars. Yeah.

[D]

Now the question you're asking yourself is.

[C]

How many little gold statues could he.

[D]

Have fought with that money?

[C]

Well.

[A]

Well, we shall see, I suppose.

[C]

We shall see. Well, perhaps the losses are not so great when one's going home with Oscar gold.

[A]

I can't fucking price too high for the Oscar. I can't care this much about the results of an Oscar. I can't have that hanging over me. I can't be watching the Oscars, fucking scared that it won't happen.

[C]

I can't grant. But that assumes that you are. That assumes there's going to be A period between the nominations and the awards where you're still wondering if the Rock will be winning it or not. So I'm. I hope you're right. I hope you're right. I would love for just a nod. The nod would be a huge.

[A]

The nod would be huge, but it's not the same.

[D]

You can also live in the comfort, Griffin, of knowing that because we live in a multiverse, no matter what happens, there is a universe that exists somewhere where the Rock maybe wins all of the Oscars that night.

[A]

That's true. Anything's.

[C]

Yeah, but Travis, in that. What you're saying, though, is in that in some reality, the Rock is winning an AVN award for the smushing machine. Like you could apply that to anything.

[D]

I didn't say. I said, oh, the Oscar. Well, Justin, the Rock.

[A]

Yeah, the Rock could not be the Rock, but instead, like a Hyundai Sonata that you can drive around in like it's a sentient.

[D]

In a nearly infinite multiverse, perhaps infinite.

[A]

And if you put an apple in a box forever, eventually it'll turn into an iPhone. That's. Saw that on YouTube, guys.

[D]

Huh? A rock can neither be created nor destroyed.

[A]

Ma', am, we gotta do a question at some point, but if you put an apple in a box forever, eventually it'll take every form of matter and be everything all it could, it could possibly become, including an iPhone. What I said wasn't any different from what you said.

[D]

Now, hold on, because I also want to point out, Griffin, that that implies it could happen right away.

[A]

No, it'll take a minute. That's fine.

[D]

So there has to be a set amount of time. You can't just say for forever. There's gotta be a set amount of time between Apple and iPhone that you don't need to check the box.

[A]

If you put all the apple particles in the box, they'll dissolve and turn into different particles and they'll bounce off each other, turn into anything, and be any form of matter imaginable in this.

[D]

That's a great box.

[A]

It's a pretty kick ass box. It can you put anything in it and it'll be in an iPhone forever. 600 trillion years. No, for like a little bit.

[D]

What are you making a box out of that's lasting forever?

[A]

Can we do a question?

[C]

Yeah. My friend's grandma makes cool quilts and I want to get one of them. Promise. I never met her grandma and I can't think of a not rude way to ask my friend to ask her grandma to make me a quilt. My birthday is in a couple months. How can I subtly hint to my friend that to get me a quilt from her grandma and make her think it was her idea. That's from Quizzical Quilt Quandary in Queens. Well, huh. That's a heck of a thing to ask someone's grandma.

[A]

It's like the quilt is like the gift of the grandma. Do you know what I mean?

[C]

I have my one. I got a quilt from my granny and I got one and I don't use it ever because if something happened to it, I would be heartbroken. That's my one. I got.

[A]

That's his one. He got one. And more importantly, he didn't have to reach out to granny on Etsy to get her to make it for him. It was just a sort of gift of the grandmother.

[D]

I do love the idea of just sitting there and being like, hey, your grandma made this kick ass quilt. How much does she charge for quilts?

[A]

Yeah, how much do you think? Raw materials plus labor for your grandmother.

[D]

Bearing in mind I give her a bunch of old fabric things that mean a lot to me.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Will she make me one?

[A]

Here's a box with a hundred T shirts in it.

[D]

Here's a box with a hundred apples in it. How long before it turns into a quilt from your grandma?

[A]

It'll turn into 100 quilts. Travis. It could turn into anything now.

[D]

If there's more apples in the box, shouldn't it happen faster?

[C]

So you could do a Tuesdays with Maury in this scenario would be a good thing.

[A]

So many situations.

[C]

If you go to your grandma, if you go to your friend, you say, hey, I heard your grandma will be passing away soon.

[A]

Wait, why would you say that I would love to spend time with her?

[D]

Do you just mean statistically?

[C]

I would just love to spend some time with her before she passes away. And I would just love it if she could teach me how to live by showing me how to die. If your grandma could do that. And I think that.

[D]

And maybe how to quilt. Who would love to live in.

[A]

The guy says that in Tuesdays.

[C]

I don't wanna learn how to quilt. This person's pretty clear about that. They don't want a hobby, they want a quilt.

[A]

My favorite part of Tuesdays and mori is when Maury is like, I'm about to. I'm fixin to die. But first I'll teach you how to live.

[C]

Yeah, that is what it is.

[A]

I mean, that is what it is.

[C]

It's what he says, what it says on the jacket. You know, that Is.

[D]

Yeah, but the guy doesn't go to Maury and say, hey, you're looking not so great before you go. And Maury's like, what the fuck? What are you talking about?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Is that what happens in the book?

[C]

Yeah, man. It's like, very much about that. Well, you know what you're saying. Yeah, dude. That's why it was so sad and everybody was so horny for it because it was such a huge bummer.

[D]

You're hanging out with Mori and his dog Marley, and you're like, hey, you two look like you're gonna die soon.

[C]

Marley and Me is another. It's the exact same premise. Yeah, it's the exact same premise as Dukes and Mori.

[A]

Yeah, but with a dog. I don't. If you want to quilt, I'm sure you can. There are quilt artists in your area that you could contract to do this. What is it about these grandma's quilt? Is it because it would be presumably gratis, if that's your logic.

[D]

It sounds like it's a real dank quilt.

[A]

Maybe it's a really dank quilt. But that's Grandma's gift, guys.

[C]

It's a gift of a grandma. Are you willing to put in the work? You know what I mean? Because, like, grandma means, like, you gotta take the calls. You gotta put in the phone calls. You gotta buy the. You know, you gotta buy the frame. You gotta buy the aura frames. You gotta do it. You gotta put it in.

[D]

And not just until you get the quilt. Cause she'll repossess that shit. She'll show up.

[A]

She will take your quilt back. What?

[C]

No, she won't.

[D]

If you stop taking the calls, she'll.

[A]

Show up and take the quilt.

[C]

Yeah. No, the quilt has got. If the grandma gives away the quilt. If the grandma gives away the quilt too early, that's on Grandma. You know what I mean?

[D]

Why buy the grandma if you can get the quilt for free? Am I right?

[C]

Right. Thank you for saying it, Trav. Thank you. We're all thinking it.

[A]

I bet she would be. I bet you get burned like that with one grandkid, you're not gonna let that shit fly with another one. You'll know. You'll know. You wanna what now? Oh, so you can fucking bail? Cause we're supposed to. We're supposed to go to Bonnaroo.

[D]

I'll add one square for every Bonnaroo.

[C]

You take me to fucking.

[A]

That's good. That's good.

[D]

What about bumper shoots so we can get two a year?

[A]

No fucking Bonnaroo only Bonnaroon's son.

[C]

This. That would be a sick grandpa.

[D]

Burning man is three squares.

[C]

It's a system. It's a bargaining system. It's like, if you take me to lunch, that's like one quarter of a square.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I'll maybe put, like, a one small sandwich or something in there. But, like, if it's a really good dinner, I might do a bigger steak in there, and that'll take up more of a quilt. You know what I mean? It's like a bigger square.

[D]

If we go see a movie together and it turns out I don't like it, I'll take a square away.

[A]

Yeah. Unstitch it.

[D]

Better research that film before it is stitch.

[C]

If it's a stitch movie, then I'll put double, because I love stitch.

[A]

I love stitch so much. I'll just get in the mood for.

[D]

But it will be. I'll put, like, four stitch squares, whether you like stitch or not.

[A]

And sometimes you'll just be talking. If you say some dope shit like, grandma, you might be dying so I can learn how to live, I'll smile and I'll put a square in right there. So, you know. That was dope. That was great.

[D]

Stitch update.

[C]

That'd be sick. If Grandma's like, I'm gonna make you a quilt, but it's gonna all be stitch. Because I love stitch.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Why do you think I got into sewing?

[A]

Oh, damn. That would be so brutal. If you're like, yeah, I'll make a quilt for your friend. It shows up. It's just all stitch. But it's not.

[C]

It's your friend's stitch.

[D]

It's a stitch. Waifu blanket.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What's that, Travis?

[A]

I don't know what a blanket.

[D]

I'd rather not talk about it.

[A]

I know what, like, a pillow is, but a blanket, like, it's a.

[D]

It's a quilt with, like, a sexy bikini stitch on it that you would wrap yourself up in to feel love in quilt form. Yeah.

[A]

My understanding is that those were usually. That's usually the domain of pillows, because then there is a depth to it.

[D]

That's why they can only get it from this grandma. She's the only person making waifu quilts.

[A]

She's the only one making lewd quilts. Lewd stitch memorabilia.

[D]

It doesn't have to be lewd, Griffin.

[C]

It could be.

[D]

Beautiful, huh?

[A]

Okay. Okay. Beautiful.

[C]

Hey, let's go to the money zone.

[A]

Spread eagle.

[C]

I'm sorry. You didn't have to. The door was right there.

[B]

It's better. It's Better.

[D]

When you're feeding yourself. Oh, there are so many factors to consider. You know, how much time you've got, what ingredients you have in the home. If you're chef, you're about to realize this.

[A]

Chat, you're about to realize this. Travis just set up a fucking banger with that.

[D]

Because there's one factor. The company we're doing is factor.

[C]

The company we're doing is factor.

[A]

You're gonna be like, God damn, Griffin. Good one, Trav Griffin.

[C]

He was in.

[D]

I'm just trying to write that from the record. Can we.

[A]

That I'm hyping you.

[D]

No, but you said the reveal.

[A]

Well, that's only so they know when you hit it later that they're gonna be, like, totally amped. Cause they'll know what.

[D]

But I was just about to hit it.

[A]

Okay, well, go ahead. You're the one holding it up now. I'm sitting here waiting, watching.

[D]

The one factor you don't have to worry about is factor Meals. Because they.

[A]

What did I tell you, folks? He's done it again.

[D]

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[A]

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[D]

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[C]

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[D]

And more with Factor.

[A]

Found a middle. A middle ground.

[D]

Yep, yep, yep, yep. Factor's great. How was that?

[C]

That's really good.

[D]

I love the variety of options. I love knowing it's there for me.

[C]

Like this week, just this week, I'll give you an example. Here's a ready to make meal. Two minutes you could be eating pepper fondue, shredded chicken.

[D]

What?

[C]

How about some sweet potato grits and sage chicken?

[A]

Oh, shit. That sounds good.

[C]

Don't mind if I do. That sounds great. Like, and it's made by actual, you know, actual people that actually care about what the food tastes like.

[D]

This isn't AI food.

[A]

No way.

[C]

This is real human food for real people.

[D]

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[E]

Hi, I'm Amber Nash, the voice of Pam Poovey on the groundbreaking FX animated comedy Archer Remember Archer?

[C]

I sure don't.

[E]

That's why I started rephrasing an Archer rewatch podcast on maximumfun.org join me and a bevy of special guests as we discuss every episode of Archer, starting from the very beginning. Archer executive producer Casey Willis and editor Christian Danley will produce, provide insight and fun, and help me remember everything I've forgotten about Archer, which is a lot. So join me on rephrasing an Archer rewatch podcast on maximumfun.org because I can't wait to watch Archer again. For the very first time.

[A]

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[C]

Oh, what a munch squad. I want to munch squad.

[A]

Travis, stop cross stitching.

[D]

I'm not cross stitching. I'm sewing leather.

[A]

We're plugged in now, dude. That was us getting plugged in.

[C]

Thanks.

[D]

I was mid stitch. You have to understand.

[C]

Griffin, did you watch Love Island?

[A]

Stitch blanket. No, I watched Love is Blind. Love island is weirdly the only one of those that I don't watch.

[D]

I love Islands.

[C]

Son of a gun, this is gonna be tough. So you guys are gonna have to help me decode this. And we're just gonna do a little guesswork here, maybe a little quick googling.

[A]

But I watch so many shows like Love Island, I think I could probably.

[C]

I just wanted to tell you, Griffin, that Sweetgreen launches new ran in partnership with Love island reality TV stars Ranchy Ranchy Baddie Bowl. Ranchy Ranchy Bad. Ranchy Ranchy Baddie Bowl.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[C]

On the heels of Sweet Green's viral fall campaign featuring Nick Van Steenberg, nickelandrea Nation fans. Now that nickelandria Nation is the name of the fans of the pairing of Nick Van Steenberg and Alondria Carthen.

[D]

Okay, okay, okay. So it's not a good four Manta. They are a very famous names together.

[C]

Thank you, Travis.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

So they're a very famous and loved couple from Love Island. So sweet. To answer the question of where's Alondria? Sweetgreen responded with a co created collab bowl that's as extra and iconic as this breakout couple themselves. The Ranchy Baddie bowl is the Perfect mix of heat and crunch. And is available for a limited time at participating locations nationwide starting October 6th.

[D]

Can I tell you, Justin, so far in this press release, I don't know what food is contained within the Ranchy Baddie Bowl.

[A]

That's okay. You don't need to know that shit. I'm looking at Mr. Nicholas Van Steenberg right now, and he looks so much like James Marsden. It's kind of crazy.

[C]

It's kind of crazy.

[D]

I think I'm gonna. I'm gonna make a prequel show called Like Isthmus.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And if you. If you do well on Like Isthmus.

[A]

Then you have to go neutral. You start at Neutral Peninsula.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

You have to climb your way there from Minor, sort of Dislike Delta.

[D]

But can you escape Hatred Cove?

[C]

Everyone's fighting in Hatred Cove.

[D]

You get bumped back down, too. If you fuck up.

[C]

You gotta fight your way out of Hatred Cove.

[A]

The whole time you're on Hatred Cove, it's, like, so weird because you're like, I thought this was the beach that makes you. Oh, I thought this was Old Beach. It's Hate Cove. That's a different Old beach is across the. Across the pond. Yeah.

[D]

And unlike Isthmus, you are there to make friends. The ball.

[C]

Yeah. The bowl features kale, white rice, blackened chicken, shredded cabbage, tortilla chips, sweet potatoes, jammy tomatoes, and crispy onions.

[D]

More Shit.

[A]

There's four things in there that would run right through me and I would agree.

[C]

Sweet, spicy, and a little chaotic.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

In all the right ways to make sure everyone's heads turn. This drop celebrates how sweet, Green and Nickelandria Nation come together around food that tastes amazing and feels even better to eat.

[D]

Oh, bold.

[C]

A bold.

[D]

Hey. This is for all those people out there who don't like shitty, gross food.

[C]

Listen to this one, Tre. Listen. Alondra and Nick are rallying Nickelandrea Nation to help make the Ranchy Baddie bowl the top seller at Sweetgreen.

[D]

I should hope so.

[A]

Yeah. I would hope they'd be putting their back into it, man.

[C]

Yeah, but are you supposed to say that, like, I don't think you're supposed to say that in it. I don't think you're supposed to say.

[A]

Like, in the commercial. We're trying. Really? We're giving it our all.

[D]

Please.

[C]

We're trying to.

[D]

You can throw them away if you don't want it.

[C]

Just buy us.

[A]

Buy it, please. It helps us.

[C]

I wish I could go back later and be like, hey, was there a nickelandrea Nation? Did it. Did it. They Come in to buy your salad. I would be very interested to know that.

[D]

I mean, they bought Trav Nation, that's for sure.

[C]

Sweetgreen has always been about sweet green.

[D]

If you want to reach out to me with a Trav Nation salad, it's right there. I famously ate salad for many days in a row. Famously. It's true. It's all anyone ever talks about.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Sweetgreen has always been about listening.

[D]

Thank you for asking, Justin. What would be in my salad.

[A]

Yeah, I was actually dying to know.

[D]

Thank you. Thank you for asking. Peanut butter MMs.

[A]

Crazy fucking awful.

[D]

That's all.

[A]

Did you know that the disappointed sort of like lean back drink look doesn't work as good when you are drinking from a Disney on ice mini or you.

[C]

God damn. I just wanted to enjoy some of my protein coffee.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

In peace.

[A]

But you're doing it out of it. Out of a big child's cup. I will say that's the only way.

[D]

I have room to mix.

[C]

And the protein drink, it is not peanut butter.

[D]

M&M's in a chocolate milkshake, but in a bowl.

[A]

Yeah. So no leaves.

[C]

Sweet green is always no greens.

[D]

No green chocolate is from a plant. Griffin.

[A]

Welcome to Sweet. I'm Travis. Here's my sweet bowl.

[C]

Fans want a nickelandria and we're excited.

[D]

To deliver a bowl that channels gummy bears too.

[A]

All right, finish.

[D]

Because in that cold milk.

[A]

Travis. I'm done. I'm done with the interruptions. Now I need to know more about this bowl so I have more to joke about.

[C]

Fans wanted nickelandrea and were decided we're excited to deliver a bowl that channels their bold energy while staying true to our ethos. Food that's fresh, flavorful, and rooted in real ingredients from farmers and partners we know and trust.

[A]

There was an editor that went over this that saw the usage of the words bowl and bold, one word apart and were like, that feels like something we should cut. But then they remembered what they were editing and they're like, oh, fuck, what am I doing?

[C]

We don't have any time for it.

[D]

How would you guys feel if someone could sum up your personal ethos with.

[A]

A ranchy baddie bowl?

[D]

With a ranchy baddie bowl salad.

[A]

Pretty fucking good. Honestly. It would probably save me a lot in like therapy and a lot of the work that I have to do would be way easier if I had a self reflecting.

[D]

Oh, you want to get to know what I'm all about? Just eat this salad.

[A]

Eat this salad.

[C]

This is where I'm trying to Keep my spirits up, guys, but. Well, hold on. Let me just. Working with Sweet Green on the Ranchy Baddie bowl has been such a fun ride, said Nick Van Steenberg. We loved creating something together that we can't wait for the fans to try.

[A]

I don't think that's what his voice would. He's so handsome. I do not think his voice would sound like that.

[C]

The fans asked and sweetgreen delivered, said Olandria Carthen. Getting to create this bowl with Nick has been such a blast. The Ranchy Baddie bowl is spicy, playful, and packed with personality, and we can't wait for everyone to taste it. I just feel like you should. This is me now. I just feel like you should be able to go into a fucking salad store without having to know the neologism that Instagram has cooked up for the celebrity couple du jour.

[D]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, can I. Do you want a ranchy baddie bowl? What the fuck are you talking about? We made it with Nickelandria Nation.

[A]

Go.

[B]

Stop.

[C]

Yeah, I'm going McDonald's.

[D]

Give me that bowl of peanut butter M and Ms. In a milkshake.

[C]

What does BTS want me to have?

[A]

I mean, you can say I'm going to McDonald's, but sometimes McDonald's would be like, do you want what BTS is having? They will explicitly be like, I know.

[C]

I'm complaining about McDonald's too. I shouldn't have to know who someone is. They should. If you're gonna. If you're gonna do a food. If you're gonna do a food deal with someone, they should be famous for doing food properly.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Kenny Rogers Roasters is where we went wrong. Why didn't anybody listen to him about chicken?

[A]

Start there.

[C]

He did the Gambler and Islands in the Stream, you know?

[A]

Yeah, absolutely.

[C]

And Michael Richards Spaghetti Factory.

[A]

Got to. Did you guys know that that was the first two words of Spaghetti Factory before they put some distance between themselves and Mr. Richards. Did you know that, Lister? It's true. That man loves spaghetti. And. And making it and making it. And really going off the chains with some really, really racist, really, really, really, really spaghetti.

[C]

My brother used to host a podcast about reality dating shows.

[A]

Sure.

[C]

And if he doesn't know, I don't know, then you. Why are you doing an entire salad about it Makes me so angry.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I. I still probably wouldn't have followed it. Just Sweet Green sort of works in sort of food materials that I don't. That my body sort of does reject via osmosis? If I.

[C]

If I go.

[A]

If I over indulge, I do.

[C]

Another question recently, my question. My husband and I were at a restaurant and overheard another couple talking about the other types of cuisine they enjoy. They described a few dishes that my husband and I knew, but they couldn't remember the name of. We both really wanted to tell them the dish names, but felt too awkward. Cutting into a private conversation. Is there a graceful way to cut into a conversation with vital information that the other party so desperately needs without seeming like an eavesdropping creep? That's from Holly Pruitt, Georgia. Okay.

[A]

Straight up and down, I think. Quick, quick one.

[C]

No, no. It's like we have a whole thing about that.

[D]

Like, okay, now, hold on.

[C]

Here he goes.

[D]

Here's my question for you guys.

[A]

Is this one that you included. Cause you knew that you were gonna have the nasty boy argument for it.

[D]

No, no, no. Yes. So my question is, is there a level of private conversation, noise level, in public, where it becomes a public conversation by default? If you're talking about it loudly enough that I'm a table over and I know exactly what you're talking about. I don't think that's a private conversation.

[C]

I'm an incredible observer of the human condition.

[A]

Go ahead.

[C]

The idea that I wouldn't perceive everything going on around me with perfect clarity is truly, truly unhinged. Of course I'm seeing everything. It's courtesy that I'm acting like I'm not observing the entirety of the world around me at all times.

[A]

Because you don't want that pressure. You don't want the. We all know when we're out at a restaurant that everyone is listening to everything that we are saying, but we don't need the pressure of them confirming that for us. Okay. I was at a. I was at Rachel and I went to a dim sum, Michelin star dim sum restaurant in Hong Kong. And we got in there and it was just. It was just long lunch table seating. It was just long, unbroken lunch table seating. And we were, you know, elbows to asses with people dining next to each other across from just absolute strangers. And even then, Travis, I do not think it's okay to be like. I think you mean cacio e Pepe. Like, I don't think you were allowed to do that. I don't think you can.

[D]

Is there a level of frustration that the people talking about it reach and not being able to think of it? At which point you are doing a service so welcomed that you won't be Shunned for it?

[A]

No.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

No. I don't think there's any daylight here, man.

[D]

I don't think there's anything. The only time.

[C]

The only time. I will sometimes. Here's what I will say. The only move where you can maybe get in there is sometimes I will be having a conversation with someone and I will realize that I have said something so loudly, unintentionally, that it has become a more public conversation. And then at that point, I might try to throw out, like, I meant to do this the entire time. Kind of like, right, everybody.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[C]

Like, I was actually trying to bring us all in. I wasn't. I just start yelling for no reason. But if they're trying to play that off, then maybe you can slide in.

[A]

With, like, actually, you are also robbing them of that great moment, like 30 minutes later. Or on the drive home where one of them just immediately, it clicks finally, and they're like, cacho e pepe. And then they laugh and they kiss and they fall off because of that moment.

[C]

If they really wanted the answer, they would Google it, right? Isn't that the implication?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. If you do that to me, I will assume you just googled it faster than I did, probably using some wasteful AI. And then I'm gonna.

[C]

Sorry, my mid journey glasses tell me that you wanted me to say katu e Pepe. I'm not even sure what that meant, but I got a prompt that said, go say cacu e Pepe to those people. So I'm just coming over to say.

[A]

That my meta oracles actually heard you before you said out loud what you were saying. And kachu e Pepe.

[C]

Cacu e pepe.

[A]

The spec said.

[C]

So Zuckerberg asked me to come ask you to review this place on Google Maps, if you wouldn't mind. Thank you.

[A]

Are they always watching? They're glasses. So do you want me to hope.

[C]

I can close my eyes?

[A]

Cover them. Good.

[D]

I guess I just think we're a little too disconnected.

[A]

Absolutely. We are fully Travis. 100%.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

We're not gonna start building bridges by correcting each other at restaurants.

[C]

Yeah, but like, Travis, you're 100% right. But if you walk over to be like, cacio e Pepe, the person at the table's not gonna be like, yes, it starts here. You know what I mean? Like, embrace.

[D]

Maybe you guys aren't. I've done this before, and I am a welcomed addition to any table and friend group. People love it when I help them remember the names of Cuisines that they like.

[A]

That's possible. That's possible. I think it's possible. I think maybe 30% of people will receive that and they'll like it. So maybe you've just gotten kind of lucky.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I will also say, Travis, there's a big difference between getting corrected and getting corrected by a world famous podcaster. You know what I mean? Like, of course they're going to be a little excited.

[D]

That is true. Because usually when I'm like, is it Katio Pepe? Hi, I'm Travis McElroy from My Brother.

[C]

All right. I got a little glitter on your shoulder. Hi, I'm Travis McElroy.

[A]

I'm going to. Actually, there's a definitive answer to this that we have not even considered yet. And it is abso fucking lutely no. Because what if you're wrong? Can you fucking imagine?

[C]

You walk over there, wasn't it.

[A]

They're like, what was that dish? It was like a noodles with a white sauce.

[C]

Are you sure?

[A]

Can you roll up like Cacio e Pepe?

[D]

And they're like, no.

[A]

Fettuccine Alfredo. Actually, we were thinking of.

[C]

It's crazy.

[A]

I couldn't remember the name of that.

[C]

You being such a turd reminded us of the right answer. We hate you.

[A]

We hate you so much.

[D]

You're welcome.

[A]

You're welcome.

[C]

Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. Hey, this week we're gonna be in Salt Lake City in San Diego. Will you please come see us?

[D]

Please.

[A]

The last shows of the 20 Thunder Drive tour.

[C]

We're going to be doing the 50th Taz live. That's wild. We're going to be going back to Balance for this show. We're going to have Erica Ishii as a special guest and Griffin McElroy will be GMing that. If you're coming to a bim Bam show and you got a question you want answered or fear you want read aloud, email that mbmb amaximumfund.org Put your city in the subject line. More info and ticket links are available at bit ly McElroytours.

[D]

But here's the exciting news. It's not our last show of the year.

[A]

No. It's a man.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Unless it was the last show of our 20 Thunder Drive tour. I think of it.

[D]

But it's not the last show of the year.

[A]

No way.

[D]

Because this year for Candle Nights, we're going back to Huntington doing a live show. But you can still join us even if you can't make the trip in person. Because we're doing the in person show December 6th at 7pm Tickets on sale this Friday, October 17th at 12pm Eastern Time, which includes the virtual stream ticket. Because we will be streaming a digital premiere of the recording of the show with bonus behind the scenes footage. All kinds of stuff that premieres on December 19th at 9:00pm Eastern Time will be in the chat for the premiere and there will be video on demand access through January 3rd. Tickets are available now and all proceeds from the show will be donated to Harmony House, which seeks to end homelessness in the Huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs. Tickets for both events are available at bit lycandlenights2025 that's bit lycandlenights2025.

[A]

It's going to be very fun. We've been working on it and coming up with some ideas that I'm just fucking stoked about. I'm also stoked about Montaigne for letting us use the theme song My Life Is Better with youh. It really is a great album. One of my faves of the year, getting a lot of rotation on my device. And hey, also we have merch [e-mail] that you should go check out. Do we have a fear?

[D]

We do.

[C]

Tell it to me Griffin.

[D]

Why don't you read it?

[C]

I demand it.

[A]

This year I'm going to be faster than my fear of the ceiling fan being at max speed.

[C]

My name's Justin McElroy.

[D]

I'm Travis McElroy.

[A]

I'm Griffin McElroy.

[D]

It's been my brother.

[C]

My brother may kiss your dad square on the lips.

[B]

Is it better with you? You My life it's better it's better with you it's better My life it's better it's better with you Cuz it's true it's better it's better with you My life.

[C]

Maximum Fun.

[A]

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