MBMBaM 798: Round and Swallowable

Summary

My Brother, My Brother and Me 798: Round and Swallowable
Original Air Date: January 26, 2026
Hosts: Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode of MBMBaM, the McElroy brothers deliver their trademark blend of comedic advice, sibling banter, and surreal scenarios. The show kicks off with high energy, nonsense intros, and quickly dips into odd hypothetical worlds—from Resident Evil-inspired merchant bits to pontifications about sleep studies, pizza capsules, and the ethics of foraging in a city park. Along the way, they tackle listener questions with their usual absurd sincerity, imagine dystopian food trends, debate linguistic pet peeves, roast fast-food innovations, and reflect on their podcasting legacy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Nasty Merchants, Resident Evil, and Character Tropes

• Merchant Impressions & Archetypes:
  • The brothers delight in riffing on the “nasty merchant” character archetype (03:07), imagining games and universes overrun by such figures instead of zombies.
    • Quote:
      • “If there is one character archetype that really gets the three of us, gets our rocks hard... It’s being able to do a nasty merchant.” – Justin (02:45)
• Resident Evil Reimagined:
  • Pitching the idea that the new virus just turns everyone into overzealous arms-dealing merchants. (03:30)
  • Jokes about green herbs in Resident Evil being a missed weed joke opportunity. (04:52)
    • Quote:
      • “How has nobody ever made a joke about how in Resident Evil the green herb you heal yourself with is like a weed joke? It’s crazy.” – Griffin (04:52)

2. Sleep Study Adventures

• Travis' Sleep Study (07:21–14:22):
  • Travis details his strange, almost liminal experience at a sleep lab, incapable of bringing comforts from home and feeling like a test subject.
  • Griffin and Justin escalate the bit by imagining dream-stealing orbs, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s involvement (Inception reference), and the anxiety of being surveilled.
    • Quote:
      • “It was like, almost like if you know about liminal spaces... this is almost a hotel room. This is almost a bed.” – Travis (08:11)
      • “I was assembling my Seven Samurai. Yes, my seven sleepy samurai.” – Justin (09:31)
• Classic MBMBaM Tangent:
  • Griffin quips about his son’s Nintendo alarm clock blasting terrifying Zelda music in the morning (14:46), adding to the sleep struggle discourse.

3. Advice Questions

A. Disposing of Pizza and "Pizza-Pilled" Culture (16:04)

• Question: How to let dumpster divers know discarded pizza is stale and gross.
• Extended Riff:
  • Old pizzas becoming pills or capsules for on-the-go pizza nutrition (“round and swallowable”) (18:51–19:12)
    • Quote:
      • “If I could grind it down in capsule form, I think that would actually save me a ton of time on pizza consistency and chewing...” – Justin (18:29)
  • Mock-concern about youths getting “pizza-pilled.”
• Food Waste and Community Guilt:
  • Griffin proposes guilt-based displays—a pizza “graveyard” pile outside to prompt civic responsibility for pizza consumption. (21:20)
• Rats, Steve Miller, and Surreal Solutions:
  • Justin proposes that centralized old pizza piles would attract rats and solve rat problems by distracting them from homes (22:22–23:45)
    • Quote:
      • “If there’s a huge mountain of dirty old pizza, the rats will just live there. There’s no more rat problem.” – Justin (23:14)

B. Cat Trick Documentation (24:56)

• Question: How to prove a cat did a backflip.
• Advice & Escalation:
  • Suggestions range from “just believe,” to unleashing a swarm of dragonflies to prompt another flip (26:51–28:09)
  • Justin raises the stakes: “I think you have to bring one to 150 dragonflies.” (27:43)
    • Quote:
      • “Now all of a sudden you have 100 to 150 dragonflies flying around your house because the cat can’t get them too fast.” – Griffin (28:28)

C. Throwing Away Broken Appliances (48:08)

• Question: Should you tell a stranger salvaging your curbside fridge that it doesn’t work?
• Consensus:
  • It’s assumed they know, or have their own plans for the broken fridge (props, parts, viral videos, fixer-uppers).
    • Quote:
      • “If you leaned out your window and said, ‘Hey, just so you know, that doesn’t work,’ the response is almost certainly going to be, ‘Yeah, no doy.’” – Travis (50:05)

D. Illegally Foraging Berries at Work (52:10)

• Question: How to stealthily harvest black raspberries at a city park nature center.
• Proposed Excuses:
  • Pretend to be “poison checker,”
  • Offer illicit raspberries to would-be busting authority figures,
  • Claim a bear coerced you,
  • Stage a bramble “accident.”
    • Quotes:
    • “Let them get their beak wet, because they’re a crow.” – Travis (53:40)
    • “My name is Ranger Rick. A bear... has taken my family. He says he wants picnic baskets. He says it’s hard for him to get them cause he’s a bear. But I am in a position of authority. People trust me.” – Griffin (55:32)

4. Language Pet Peeves

• Discussion about words with odd spellings—raspberry, Wednesday, restaurant (52:43)
  • Quote:
    • “Could we as a society agree to get rid of the ‘p’ in raspberry?” – Travis (52:43)

5. Munch Squad – Zaxby’s “Giant Quesadilla” (37:05–47:38)

• Justin presents a history of the quesadilla and critiques Zaxby’s bold attempt at a “giant quesadilla”—a monstrous meat-and-cheese stuffed dish barely contained by tortillas.
• The brothers mock its construction as “a sleep study for food,” “toilet-shattering pillow,” and question at what point a quesadilla becomes “just a taco.”
  • Quotes:
    • “It’s like it’s taking a sleep study... it’s trying to wrap the quesadilla around itself, but it’s too monumentally loaded with cheese and chicken.” – Justin (39:02)
    • “Who wakes up January 1st and says, ‘you know what I’m gonna do this year? Get fingered at Zaxby’s.’” – Travis (47:27)

6. Podcast Legacy, Superlatives, and Running Gags

• Reflecting on their 16 years of podcasting and pondering what superlative or record their show might actually have. (05:22)
  • Quote:
    • “There’s gotta be some more superlatives we could attach to ourselves at this point, right?” – Justin (05:22)

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• Nasty Merchant Bit:
  • “We love, like, a globular, like, lots of, like, pus in the throat.” – Justin (02:45)
• Resident Evil Herb Joke:
  • “How has nobody ever made a joke about how in Resident Evil the green herb you heal yourself with is like a weed joke? It’s crazy.” – Griffin (04:52)
• Sleep Study Liminal Space:
  • “It was like, almost like if you know about liminal spaces... This is almost a hotel room.” – Travis (08:11)
• Pizza Capsule/“Pizza-pilled”:
  • “It’d be round and ready. Round and swallowable.” – Justin (19:08)
  • “I can’t stop thinking about the new Internet craze where people Are worried about, like, their... young sons becoming pizza pilled.” – Travis (20:05)
• Cat Flip via Dragonflies:
  • “Let 10–12 dragonflies loose in the house and the cat will do a flip trying to get them.” – Griffin (27:09)
• Fan Mail: Fridge Salvaging:
  • “If you leaned out your window and said, ‘Hey, just so you know, that doesn’t work.’ The response is almost certainly going to be, ‘Yeah, no doy.’” – Travis (50:05)
• Raspberry/Berry Foraging Excuses:
  • “Just put the wrist out… Let them get their beak wet, because they’re a crow.” – Travis (53:28, 53:40)
  • “The bear made me do it.” – Travis (55:31)
• Ending on MBMBaM’s Place in History:
  • “Hunters, gatherers, podcasters.” – Justin (57:31)

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Timestamps to Key Segments

• Start & Banter: 01:08–05:21
• Sleep Study Story: 07:21–14:22
• Alarm Clock/Parenting Bit: 14:46–15:52
• Question: Old Pizza & Dumpster Divers: 16:04–20:21
• Pizza Capsule Bit (“Round and Swallowable”): 18:29–19:08
• Rats / Steve Miller Band Side Tangent: 22:22–24:10
• Cat Flip & Dragonflies: 24:56–28:28
• Throwing Away Mini Fridge: 48:08–50:46
• Berry Foraging at the Park: 52:10–57:40
• Munch Squad: Zaxby’s Giant Quesadilla: 37:05–47:38

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

The episode is a quintessential MBMBaM mix of playful absurdity, callback-heavy humor, and exaggerated advice that is both knowingly unhelpful and strangely cathartic. The brothers riff off each other's narratives with escalating surrealism, blending mundane grievances (alarm clocks, appliance disposal) with wild hypotheticals (drug-pizza capsules, merchant-infested video game apocalypses, berry-foraging subterfuge). Their signature bits—linguistic pet peeves, spin-offs on listener questions, and the Munch Squad’s earnest disgust at food trends—are all on full display, creating an episode that’s both welcoming to long-time fans and accessible to new listeners.

For more information: MBMBaM at Maximum Fun

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Griffin McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

[Theme Song Singer]

It's the start of something beautiful A.

[Justin McElroy]

Small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into.

[Theme Song Singer]

A precious friends I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life, it feels like. It's better it's better with you My life ah, it's better it's better with you this is true it's better it's better with two.

[Justin McElroy]

It's better with you hello, hello and welcome to My Brother, My Brother Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Travis, do like the most like, sort of genial, welcoming, like welcome to my cabin style.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, didn't see you come in there. Ah, come in. Have a seat, traveler. Sit by the fire, warm yourself. What's up, Travnation? It is I.

[Justin McElroy]

Time out, time out on this. This wasn't my travelers. Did you ever think about that? Like, Travel Nation is good, but like.

[Griffin McElroy]

It sounds like travelers.

[Travis McElroy]

That's what our insights.

[Justin McElroy]

I felt the capital trav in my head. I heard that.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. When we send them out into the world, our dignitaries are ambassadors. Ambassadors. That's what I was looking for. They're travelers.

[Justin McElroy]

Anyways, what's up, Travnation?

[Travis McElroy]

I gotta finish. I gotta say the whole thing. What's up, Travnation? It's me, Armells Brother Travis. Big dog.

[Justin McElroy]

Wolf. Wolf.

[Travis McElroy]

Vroom, vroom. The Rocket McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you. Welcome, travelers, to Mine Head Superpower Mine Cauldron's bubbling engines and feast upon my faggot goose. I'm Griffin McElroy. That was my take on.

[Travis McElroy]

That's a trick. What you've set up is a trap.

[Justin McElroy]

Why is it a trap?

[Griffin McElroy]

Hold on. No, no, no. Let's get to the bottom of what Travis just said because I'm worried that there's a little bit of hate behind it. Why do you think that's a trap, Travis?

[Travis McElroy]

I'm just saying that I. You said a cave.

[Griffin McElroy]

I believe anyone with a. I didn't say cave. No, I didn't say cave. But your mind filled in cave because you heard unchance and you heard fatted goose and you thought this must be some Sort of nasty witch or warlock. And I think that sucks, dude.

[Justin McElroy]

No, I've noticed over our decades of creating the highest quality digital entertainment that if there is one character archetype that really gets the three of us, gets our rocks hard, It's. It's being able to do a nasty merchant. We love that. We love, like, a globular, like, lots of, like, pus in the throat.

[Griffin McElroy]

Welcome, traveler. You've got a lot of wonderful goods.

[Travis McElroy]

Like, I hear your bag jingling with gold.

[Justin McElroy]

Many, many beautiful coins to erase my palm.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think the new Resident Evil game, they should get rid of the zombies entirely. Or the movie that's coming out that's going to beat absolute ass. Zach Kreger's Resident Evil.

[Justin McElroy]

They're letting them do a good one.

[Griffin McElroy]

They're letting them do a good one. Get rid of zombies. Now the Umbrella Corporation has invented the M virus, and it turns you into the nasty merchant from Resident Evil 4. So it's just you and it's a bunch of dudes coming at you with fucking deals on 9 millimeter ammunition.

[Travis McElroy]

And yeah, occasionally you run into the Duke from Resident Evil village and he's like, I don't know about those guys. I don't know those guys. I'm not with them.

[Griffin McElroy]

They're not with me.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm not with them.

[Justin McElroy]

If the Duke at any point had been like, justin, do you want to go? Do you want to get out of here? Let's go.

[Travis McElroy]

It kind of sucks here. I've noticed.

[Justin McElroy]

This sucks.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sucks here.

[Justin McElroy]

Dude, look at these guys. Look behind you. There's another guy who's going to kill you. Let's get out of here.

[Travis McElroy]

There's like a werewolf, man. There's some kind of hairy giant who's angry.

[Justin McElroy]

He sucks.

[Griffin McElroy]

I've seen a few of these and Jean Claude Van Damme's going show up at the end and his arm's gonna be a tentacle and he's gonna kill you on top of a volcano. So we should just fucking beat cheeks.

[Travis McElroy]

Dude, I can buy you a new baby. I don't want to tell you my source or nothing, but I know where to get a baby.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, for sure.

[Justin McElroy]

You keep coming back and buying green herbs.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just go. Just go.

[Travis McElroy]

Get out of here. Oh, you want some better green herbs? Wink, wink.

[Justin McElroy]

Talk about you a green herb.

[Griffin McElroy]

Guys, I want to congratulate us.

[Justin McElroy]

I got the Criterion inception in here. Let's go.

[Griffin McElroy]

How has nobody ever made a joke about how in Resident Evil the green herb you heal yourself with is like a weed joke? It's crazy.

[Travis McElroy]

Nobody's ever thought about it.

[Justin McElroy]

I need to get on. Yeah, I need to get on T Fury right now. Just start trademark and stuff, you know what I mean? Like the podcast.

[Griffin McElroy]

We don't trademark enough of our joke. Like, we trademark our great ideas. I hold many trademarks and patents, but we never do jokes like the one where in Resident Evil, it's like you heal yourself with, like, marijuana leaf. A marijuana plant. That's ours.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, man.

[Justin McElroy]

I was thinking about how this show we started in 2010 and so this will be our 16th year of excellence. I was thinking about, and this may be something we'd have to source with our listeners, but there's gotta be some more superlatives that we could attach to ourselves at this point, right? Like my brother, My brother, me. The podcast has to at least be the longest running podcast hosted by brothers. Like, is at least that. Is it like the most that a brother podcast has gone or something? I just feel like at our age, we should be able to spin the numbers into a superlative. That would be impressive. More impressive than what we have now.

[Travis McElroy]

Most nominated for iHeartRadio.

[Justin McElroy]

That's good.

[Travis McElroy]

Without winning.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, fuck that, man. As long as we've been around, I'm pretty sure we've been nominated for best Ad reads for the iHeartRadio podcast awards every single year.

[Justin McElroy]

Year.

[Griffin McElroy]

So if you strip away all of that sort of, like, specificity, we might be the most nominated podcast from the iHeartRadio podcast awards. Or is it iHeartMedia now? They've changed it a couple times.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. IHeart podcast. I didn't realize they gave a Golden Globe for best podcast until, like, today.

[Justin McElroy]

We don't.

[Travis McElroy]

We weren't even nominated.

[Griffin McElroy]

We didn't hear. I didn't. That didn't cross my desk. We did, unfortunately. Yeah, we didn't.

[Travis McElroy]

Maybe next year.

[Griffin McElroy]

Maybe.

[Justin McElroy]

I didn't see who won, but congratulations to Dax Shepard.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm sure Dax has got a. I.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think they should just do a Best Ad Reads category at the Golden Globes.

[Travis McElroy]

We wouldn't win that one either, but when we might get nominated.

[Griffin McElroy]

But it would be great to be a Golden Globe nominated pot. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. But just to hear Mahershala Ali say my brother, my brother be out loud. Would be worth it just to get the nomination.

[Griffin McElroy]

You could probably cut clips together from Mahershala Ali's work in the past to make it sound like he said the name.

[Travis McElroy]

My brother. My brother.

[Griffin McElroy]

And.

[Travis McElroy]

And me.

[Justin McElroy]

Trav, I almost asked you about this before the show, but then I realized it would be better to hear about during the show because I'm really curious. You did a sleep study?

[Griffin McElroy]

I did. How'd it go? Did you. Did you do a good job? Did you get some?

[Travis McElroy]

I don't think I did. So the thing was, Teresa asked me this morning. She was like, what was it?

[Justin McElroy]

Like, where did you go? Like, how did Theresa see you? Were you not in a lab?

[Travis McElroy]

This is the weirdest thing. My appointment was from 8pm to 6am So I got there at 8pm at like 9:15. They're like, go to bed. We'll wake you up at 5:30. I was like, what is this?

[Griffin McElroy]

So you gotta bet I've never done this or seen it or know anything about it. I assumed it was sort of like a bacta tank. Like you're in, like, Dr. Light's special cyberpod or something like that, and they just, like, got your stats up.

[Travis McElroy]

The most surreal thing about the experience.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Is that it was like, almost like if you know about liminal spaces. It had that feeling of like, this is almost a hotel room. This is almost a bed. This is almost a blanket. The pillows were like, crinkly plastic. Yeah, I guess. And they don't have to worry. So it's like, yeah, this is what we think a pillow that you humans would use.

[Justin McElroy]

Right.

[Travis McElroy]

Like, it would have this feeling of like, this is like, those people are.

[Justin McElroy]

Also going home at night and getting into bedrooms. Like, they don't know what a bed looks like. You know, this isn't. Everyone is sleeping in these things. It doesn't have to be a special science one.

[Travis McElroy]

The blanket was like the idea of a blanket, but it provided no comfort or warmth.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, they.

[Travis McElroy]

I, at one point.

[Justin McElroy]

What level of sleep paraphernalia were you allowed to bring in?

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you for asking. I was not allowed to bring my own pillows. I was not allowed to bring my own blanket. I even brought a purple pillowcase so that I. I did not ruin one of their pillows. And they were like, no, you can't use that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Whoa.

[Travis McElroy]

You have to use our pillowcases.

[Justin McElroy]

What are they gonna learn from me not sleeping all night long and just tossing and turning.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't know, thinking about dying.

[Justin McElroy]

Like, what? How'd your study go?

[Griffin McElroy]

If you remove one of Justin's totems, the whole thing absolutely collapses.

[Travis McElroy]

It was wild.

[Justin McElroy]

You're gonna fail this test. I'm gonna fail. I can't sleep without all my different sleep gems. I need them. It felt like I was putting them together last night. And Sid said, you're assembling your Seven Samurai. Yes, yes, my seven sleepy samurai. We're getting all together.

[Travis McElroy]

This felt like if I was taking, like, the practical driver's exam.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And then right before the test started, they were like, oh, and by the way, we changed all the controls around so the buttons don't do what you think they do.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Have fun. Cause they, like, hooked me up to all these things. There's, like. There were some things on my chin and my, like, temples. Right. And a hose that went, like, with two prongs up my nose. And it all connected in the back with one of those sleeves, like, one might use for cable management at their desk.

[Podcast Advertiser/Guest]

Cool.

[Travis McElroy]

And there were things running down, and they're like, okay, if one of these becomes disconnected in the night, it'll show up on our system and we'll come in and fix it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Great.

[Travis McElroy]

While I'm asleep.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. They must be very sneaky.

[Travis McElroy]

And so I lay down, and suddenly I'm super aware of my matrix, like, tethers holding me to this bed. And that's suddenly all I could think about is like, how do I not knock these off? How do I do this?

[Griffin McElroy]

As a result of the study, did they figure out why you dream about kissing Santa Claus every single night?

[Travis McElroy]

They actually said that's normal. They said it's weird if you don't dream about kissing Santa Claus every night.

[Justin McElroy]

Do they film? My understanding is they film the dreams that you're having on a big screen that they watch inside the lab. Is that.

[Travis McElroy]

That is correct.

[Griffin McElroy]

And they come out as orbs, and some of the orbs are red. And you. When you.

[Justin McElroy]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What Come out as orbs?

[Griffin McElroy]

The dream movies that they record during the. When they have you 10.

[Travis McElroy]

You haven't had a sleep study, Justin. So you want to.

[Justin McElroy]

Is this on a monitor that they're watching on the stream the orbs?

[Travis McElroy]

It starts on a monitor, and if it's good one, they hit record and.

[Justin McElroy]

They actually harvest the dream in a sphere.

[Griffin McElroy]

And you do have to sign a special release before they're allowed to watch the red orbs.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Joseph Gordon Levitt is there, and he says, hit record. And you hit record.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. And then Joseph Gordon Levitt lives exclusively inside my red orbs. He's in there and he's stepping. He's stepping.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, he did Inception, and he was like, I think I figured out this dream stuff. And he set this all up. It was incredible. And when the night was done and they woke me up at 5:30 in the goddamn morning like a normal person wakes up. They said, we're gonna need you to come back tomorrow because you woke up in the middle of a really great dream and we need to see how it ends.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cool.

[Travis McElroy]

So I gotta go back tonight so they can finish the dream. Yeah, they kicked me out with paste on my face and in my hair. And they were like, don't run your hand through your hair or your face or whatever. Go home and take a shower. And I was like, okay. So I got home.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hold on, Wait. Why was the sleep gel they applied to you bad for you to touch with your hand, but okay for you to touch with your delicate face skin?

[Justin McElroy]

No.

[Travis McElroy]

I think mostly they didn't want me to get all goopy on my hand. Cause I had to drive home.

[Justin McElroy]

Did you drove yourself home?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, what do you think I was going to do?

[Justin McElroy]

No, I was just thinking about the, like. I bet that was a chilly little stroll home. You know, it wasn't morning. Pretty cold outside.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, it was like 12 degrees outside. And it was like, okay, now go home after your alien ex one night stand where they kicked you out at 5:30 in the morning and said like, all right, Travis.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm surprised. I'd be tired if I was you.

[Travis McElroy]

I'd be tired, Justin.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, that's Travis's secret. He's always tired.

[Travis McElroy]

I am. They asked. I had to do an intake for him. And they asked, were you sleepy at any point in the day? When. And I wrote, yeah. Yeah, from the moment I woke up till now.

[Justin McElroy]

Did you try to sleep bad the night before? Like the night before, did you try to wake up early or something?

[Travis McElroy]

No, but I wasn't allowed to now. I wasn't allowed to nap. And I love a nap. I take a nap every day. And I also wasn't allowed to have any caffeinated beverages within six hours of the appointment, which is 8pm And I normally don't. But the second I read that on the form, I was like, well, that's all I want right now.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. I couldn't have read food coloring for 24 hours before my colonoscopy. That's frigging. All I could think about is slamming a fruit punch.

[Travis McElroy]

I see.

[Justin McElroy]

It's all I wanted.

[Travis McElroy]

The worst part was then I woke up, right? I didn't sleep. I woke up every 90 minutes.

[Justin McElroy]

So wait, this was all a dream? None of this happened?

[Griffin McElroy]

No, no, no. It's the ultimate experience.

[Travis McElroy]

What a waste of time, Trav.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thanks.

[Justin McElroy]

Anyway, let's do our first question.

[Travis McElroy]

I woke up every 90 minutes. Right. I guess when my sleep cycle ended or whatever. Wake up. Oh, I'm still here. Turnover. Right. Like five times. And I woke up in the morning and I was like this. Listen, I don't always sleep great. That's why I'm here. I don't think that was indicative.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Of a normal night's sleep for me. I know I did have that feeling.

[Griffin McElroy]

Of like.

[Travis McElroy]

That wasn't my best. I could do this again. Let me take another run at it. You guys come to my house this time. I'll set up some comfy chairs next to the bed. You just watch me this time.

[Justin McElroy]

Or maybe you could come to their house.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

You know what I mean? Like if it has to be all sciencey and stuff, go to the scientist's house.

[Travis McElroy]

Let me see how you sleep if you're so good at it.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's only fair. I want to give Justin.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, right.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm gonna give Justin a huge special thanks for Christmas. He got Henry the Nintendo Alarmo, which is. Which is Mario's.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh wait, is this a sarcastic one or really?

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, it's very cool and he loves it a whole lot. So I mean, kudos for that. I will say. That's great. He sets it at 6:30 in the morning and he often wakes up before that. And so when he does that, he's not there to press the button on top of Mario's alarm clock to make the sound stop coming out of it. And the sound that he does have coming out of it is the. The music that plays in Breath of the Wild when a guardian spots you and starts targeting you with its laser blast.

[Justin McElroy]

That boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. That'll get you going.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, it'll get you going when you hear it down the hallway at 6:35 in the morning because your son is in derelict duty.

[Travis McElroy]

Your son's in danger.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm asleep and I hear when you press it. It does make the bomb noise though. And that's pretty cool.

[Justin McElroy]

I mean, so that I do. Like that got you going probably. I bet though, right? Like that definitely works.

[Griffin McElroy]

I maybe don't want to get going sometimes. I want to celebrate the extra 20 to 25min sleep that I get past then. But not when the guardian strikes.

[Justin McElroy]

That's only in the morning. You're supposed to be up making breakfast or something. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Come on, man.

[Justin McElroy]

This is a, this is an advice show and I'd love to ask you guys a question for my listeners and get your take. I work at a pizza eatery. That's Okay. I work at a pizza.

[Griffin McElroy]

What did you have wrong with that?

[Justin McElroy]

It's just, I don't. I don't. Like, no one's ever said that.

[Travis McElroy]

Because that sounds like I didn't pay to watch you eat pizza.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. It just felt weird. I work at a pizza place. I don't know a pizza place.

[Griffin McElroy]

But they knew if we said that, then we would make a joke about the two guys and a girl in Pizza Place.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, they cut the pizza place.

[Justin McElroy]

Are people running that level of calculation? Like, every word choice?

[Griffin McElroy]

We've been doing this for 16 years. People know our fucking. People know how to talk to us. They know the right and wrong way to talk to us. At this point, by season two of.

[Travis McElroy]

That show, they'd remove Pizza place from the title. It's just called Two Guys and a Girl.

[Griffin McElroy]

And see, they knew that we would say that. Cause we've said that a hundred thousand times. And so, like, they were just trying to be thoughtful.

[Justin McElroy]

I work at a pizza place, which, due to the rate at which we go through pizzas, often ends up accumulating a bunch of old, stale pizza in the back throughout the day. I'm usually the one who has to carry them all out to the dumpster. But it's not uncommon for passersby to ask me, since I'm just thrown away, could they get a slice or two? Not only is the sight of me hoisting these pies getting their hopes up, but I have to be the one to let them down easy. What's the best way that I can let any prying eyes know that despite pristine packaging, the pizza inside is actually gray and gross? That's from Pizza Caesar in Byron Center. Thank you. That your name does help to answer this question.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes, yes, yes. Thank you.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes. That changes some of my recommendations.

[Travis McElroy]

Why would we have them ready and hot?

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, These are no longer. You have to. After hot. They are no longer ready. And I don't know what comes after ready, you know, but it's not edible. It's not. Eddie.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Those two are not mutually exclusive or they are mutually. If they're not hot, they're not ready. And if they're not ready, they're not hot. You know what I mean? You couldn't be like, here's a hot pizza. It's not ready.

[Griffin McElroy]

I wonder. I wonder if there's a way to. How, like when you have bananas in the home and they get too old, they start to turn brown and you think, no worries, friends. You will become soldiers in the fight for banana Bread. Thank you so much. And sometimes you'll buy bananas and just let them get nasty because you want that banana bread so bad.

[Justin McElroy]

There's got to be a way to.

[Griffin McElroy]

Repurpose old Hot and Ready's to like zone.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, it's folded over, a seal of goodness inside.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't think. I don't know that that's going to get it back in the food safe zone. I was more thinking like you dehydrated, grind it down, turned it into some sort of powder, then you mix in with a, with some sort of dough and you make another pizza.

[Justin McElroy]

I will say, Griffin, if it was, if you could grind it down in capsule form, I think that would actually save me a ton of time on pizza consistency and chewing because I live a really busy life, you know, I can't, I'm always grinding and I don't have time to sit down and slop a slice all the time. So if I had maybe like two or three capsules.

[Griffin McElroy]

Two to three bottles.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, gosh. If you don't have three, that's your whole day, man. You're gonna be so sluggish and tired after three pizza capsules.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, just three capsules. If I could have that and it would give me all the nutrient energy of pizza, I'll enjoy pizza.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, it wouldn't be hot at that point. It'd be round and ready.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, that's round and ready. That's us, baby.

[Justin McElroy]

It'll be round and swallowable.

[Griffin McElroy]

Round, swallowable. Ready. Pop it in. Papa John. Let's roll.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I just need a Papa John real quick.

[Justin McElroy]

Papa John doesn't have the pizza pill.

[Griffin McElroy]

Papa John doesn't have time to make the pizza pill. Papa John's too busy reacting to other companies advertisements for their food on TikTok and Instagram. The absolute mad lad fucking 15 second videos of him looking at the new double down at kfc. Like, these guys are crazy. Thanks, Papa.

[Travis McElroy]

Thanks for weighing in. Papa, papa, Papa.

[Justin McElroy]

He's. Yes, 11.

[Travis McElroy]

Thank you for weighing in.

[Justin McElroy]

He's not Papa John anymore. I'm, I'm insistent on this. If the restaurant is still called Papa John's after he left in Disgrace, he can. Mr. Shack. After this, it's Mr. Shatner. He's no longer hot, he's no longer ready. He's William Shatner.

[Griffin McElroy]

He was never either of those.

[Travis McElroy]

He was neither hot nor ready.

[Justin McElroy]

He's not hot, he's not ready, he's just Mr. Shatner.

[Travis McElroy]

I can't stop thinking about the new Internet craze where people Are worried about, like, their. Mostly, let's be honest, their young sons becoming pizza pilled.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. I just keep thinking that maybe somehow we have started that just now in generation.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Ugh.

[Justin McElroy]

That's probably it. Why aren't they refrigerating the pizzas?

[Travis McElroy]

They're not hot.

[Griffin McElroy]

They're not hot at that point. I do think if you interrupt the hotness in the readiness process, at any point, you can't, like, start it back up again.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm just saying. Does Little Caesars say after?

[Travis McElroy]

We don't know. It's Little Caesars.

[Griffin McElroy]

Let's be careful here. It's definitely, definitely a Little Caesars. But, like, let's be. Let's head to it.

[Justin McElroy]

Let's be careful. If it's no longer. It's been hot and ready. All right. It's been hot and ready for, let's say, two hours. Okay. It comes out of the hot and ready stabilizer. So now it's sitting. At that point, you could say, we're not selling this to our customers. But it's still between you and me and the Little Caesar, it's pretty delicious. Still. Why not take it out at that point and just wander up and down the alley, open box. Cause Little Caesar doesn't want you to. The rule has to be take it out of the warmer, sit it on the counter, watch it die, and then take it out. Cause, like, otherwise, margins, you know, they're losing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. I mean, food waste is obviously an enormous problem. I do think that there's a way that we can make this perhaps a community responsibility where when one of these gray old pizza dies, you take it outside and you have a little pile. The pile is outside of the store, and then that way, the foot traffic that walks by, they're going to see all of these wasted, hot and ready, no longer hot, no longer ready. And say, God damn it. It's our fault that it got this bad. They do not make these things to order. They have them ready to shoot at us from a pizza cannon. They need us in and out the door within 55 seconds. That is their mission statement. And it is our fault that we're not buying these pizzas. That's why the stack is getting so gosh darn big. Let's have a Hot N ready tonight.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, but then you would need an agreement from whoever this may be that when they've sold all the Hot N Ready's, they don't make more, or else it's gonna be a cyclical issue. No, that's not where you know, they make 40, they sell 40, they're like, oh, tomorrow we should make 50.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. Do you want to be the hero of your town?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

No, I'm talking to the.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh.

[Justin McElroy]

The question is, do you want to be a hero of your town? Everybody hates rats, right? They're gross. Cure disease. I hate them a lot. I think they're scary, right? Everybody hates rats. But the problem is rats are in everybody's houses. They're in the sewers. What, what if any rats. I don't have any rats.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't have rats at my house, dude.

[Griffin McElroy]

I live in our nation.

[Justin McElroy]

I live in our nation's capital.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't have any rats in my house. Thank you. I have cherry blossom trees in my house.

[Justin McElroy]

You might have one rat in the White House.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Just one.

[Travis McElroy]

Just one.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's so weird. Justin likes a lot of the people.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm talking about him.

[Travis McElroy]

The head honches. Sorry, guys, I don't mean to be political. I'm just talking about.

[Justin McElroy]

I am talking about the big cheese.

[Griffin McElroy]

But like fucking Steve Miller. Do you guys think Steve Miller from Steve Miller brand? Every hears about Steven Miller and is like, this guy's harsh in my whole fucking thing.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, this is Steve Miller from the Steve Miller band. You're harming the Steve Miller brand. The rats aren't gonna go anywhere else if there's a huge pile of dirty old pizza outside, right? If there's a huge mountain of dirty old pizza, the rats will just live there. There's no more rat problem. You fixed your town's rat a huge rat problem because there's a huge pile of old pizza and the rats live there. And they're the kings. They're the happiest rats. They don't bother anybody until every day.

[Travis McElroy]

When you settle out of the Hot and Ready's, then you go out to throw out some normal trash and there's a thousand rats in the alley. Like, what the fuck?

[Justin McElroy]

Holy shit. What is that? You just described something so terrifying. I want to take back my imaginary idea.

[Travis McElroy]

I thought we had a sweet thing going here, bud. I thought we had a situation. And then you come out, we're going to have to come in there and ratatouille some pizzas.

[Griffin McElroy]

Steve Miller bands had like a dozen rhythm guitarists.

[Travis McElroy]

But not at the same time, right?

[Griffin McElroy]

No, I mean, he's just going through those things like fucking tissue paper. They added him to the Rock and Roll hall of Fame recently, but just him as a solo artist, not his whole band. And people were upset about it, but it's like he had a dozen fucking guitarists. What do you want him to do?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I want people to play this clip after they say no. Actually, the McElroys haven't lost Asep as they've aged. It's just as relevant as.

[Griffin McElroy]

I can't stop thinking about if Steve Miller from Steve Miller Band was thinking about now that he's really grown up, he was going to make a switch and be serious. Stephen Miller. And then like that brand has been absolutely co opted from him. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. I'd love another question if that's where the wind is taking us.

[Justin McElroy]

I was on the phone with a friend when my cat did a backflip right in front of me. As you can imagine, this is quite exciting. Sure. When I interrupted my friend to tell him about what had just occurred, he rightfully expressed doubt. How can I get my cat to do another sick flip? This time in front of a second witness? When I'm ready to record the trick. That's from Moni the Cat man. Sort of setting up the brand. I like that you're visual. You're getting it out into the universe already. Monty the Cat man in Hastings, Michigan.

[Griffin McElroy]

I do miss this about Cecil, our old cat who ran away when we were still in Austin. He was an absolute. Just built like a brick shithouse. Absolutely jacked cat. And he would do shit like if a bug got in the house, forget about it. He was going to be doing stunts and parkour and flips all over the place when you did not expect it and it was scary. It's like living with a jungle panther. I do, I. I believe you. Can we say that to this person? Oh yeah, I believe, I believe you.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Justin sounds like maybe you don't believe that their cat did a flip.

[Justin McElroy]

No, I do. I just think about good flip. This cat is going to be such a hero to other cats.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

This is like the greatest cat troll, one of the great cat trolls I ever heard. He's probably going to tell his friends like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm on some next levels. Yeah, I'm on some next level shit. I do. I did a backflip once. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Ever, ever, never again. You know how we always land on our feet? It was super hard because I did not know what I was doing. I did not have any fun.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Practice for months.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't even think I could do it again.

[Griffin McElroy]

No way.

[Travis McElroy]

Frankly, I couldn't.

[Griffin McElroy]

Couldn't do it again.

[Justin McElroy]

I couldn't do it again. I did it one time. I was, like, so scared. I was so freaked out. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

I was just moved by the spirit, maybe.

[Justin McElroy]

Your cat was so fucking scared doing a backflip. They were like, jesus Christ.

[Griffin McElroy]

What happened?

[Justin McElroy]

Why did I shake?

[Griffin McElroy]

Why did I go upside down?

[Justin McElroy]

What happened? That was all the way upside down.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, I keep thinking about my sort of situation. I think if you let a dragonfly loose in the house, the cat's gonna do a backflip. Let, like, 10 to 12 dragonflies loose in the house.

[Justin McElroy]

That's a good idea. Griffin, can you say that again?

[Griffin McElroy]

Let 10 to 12 dragonflies loose in the house. And in trying to get the dragonflies, I don't know how. Justin, you've gotten really good at, like, looking at the camera whenever you're talking to the audience. This is new because we're, like, got different setups and stuff. I don't. It feels weird for me to do it because I feel like I can see their little faces in my.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't want to do it. I think that it makes me too relatable in a way that I don't.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm not.

[Travis McElroy]

I want to be above everyone.

[Justin McElroy]

Do you mean that I'm making eye.

[Griffin McElroy]

Contact with the cam right now? Yeah, that's.

[Justin McElroy]

And you're looking.

[Travis McElroy]

I.

[Justin McElroy]

Look at me on the screen. You're looking at me.

[Griffin McElroy]

Where am I on the screen? Look at, like, look at me on the screen now.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm not.

[Travis McElroy]

Justin has set up a monitor in front of him. Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, I know, but I still. Hi. Let 10 to 12 dragonflies loose in the home, and the cat will do a flip trying to get them. I guarantee it.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't think that's a high enough concentration of dragonflies. I think, for a home, if you want to do it in, like, one room and you want to put towels at the doors, you could maybe trap 10 to 12 dragonflies in one room. But if you let 10 to 12 dragonflies in your house, that's an annoying. I think you have to bring one to 150 dragonflies.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sorry, 100 to 150 dragonflies. Not one to 100.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes. Into the house at once.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you have to?

[Justin McElroy]

Because, like, you could. Okay, you released. Okay, you released 10.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

The cat eliminates the 10 when you're not looking.

[Griffin McElroy]

That sucks.

[Justin McElroy]

150 dragonflies. They're going to be busy for a while.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, first step, you got to put a GoPro on the cat. Put a GoPro on the cat. You'll catch the flip at least from Their perspective.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. Right.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. I would say you start with 10 dragonflies, add more.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's it.

[Travis McElroy]

Over time.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Because it's going to be.

[Justin McElroy]

You need a.

[Griffin McElroy]

If the cat. If this ends up being a bad idea. Now all of a sudden you have 100 to 150 dragonflies flying around your house because the cat can't get them too fast. Or they congregate in some weird place. They just stick to the ceiling where the cat can't go. Like now you just.

[Travis McElroy]

Or your cat does a bat flip on the first dragonfly they see, you catch it and you're like, oh, yeah. Okay. Now there's just 99 to 149 other dragonflies in my house.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, I think once the first dragonfly gets got, the other 149 are gonna find their way out because they don't want to get.

[Travis McElroy]

Or they're gonna turn on the cat.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Pick them up, take them away.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. You didn't even think about that, did you, Justin?

[Justin McElroy]

We've chosen a bad animal for this. Looking at some of the data on dragonflies, they can reproduce with hundreds of eggs over days or weeks, but they can live for years.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wow.

[Justin McElroy]

So, yeah. So, yeah. So I don't know if it's a good idea, what we said. I do think, though, that they love water. So that is gonna be something that you could maybe get. Maybe they would go for if you need to get rid of them at some point. If the cat's not like helping out.

[Travis McElroy]

How can we do robot dragonflies?

[Griffin McElroy]

That's cool.

[Justin McElroy]

Nano. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

If I stab like little drones. If dragonflies live for years and they reproduce hundreds and thousands of times, how come when I go outside of my front door, I don't immediately breathe in the 13 to 14 dragonflies?

[Travis McElroy]

They're not good parents.

[Justin McElroy]

Cecil's. Cecil's still out there, out there hunting.

[Griffin McElroy]

Them all, keeping us safe.

[Justin McElroy]

He's looking out for you, dude.

[Griffin McElroy]

I love him.

[Justin McElroy]

He followed you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Beautiful. Homeward bound, we're bound. Except at the end, they didn't roll up to their folks, but instead they.

[Travis McElroy]

Still work out here to do.

[Griffin McElroy]

They became sort of their silent guardians.

[Travis McElroy]

We're still fighting mountain lions or something. It's been a while since I've seen.

[Justin McElroy]

The show, but I think that there's.

[Travis McElroy]

A mountain lion fight.

[Griffin McElroy]

Next time I get a cat, I'm going to make sure it is an extremely distinctive cat. I'm going to get a Clifford the huge blue cat situation. So that then if the cat gets lost, every single person in the City isn't like. I found a gray cat.

[Justin McElroy]

Thanks, dude.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm sure that's the one.

[Griffin McElroy]

Gray cat with stripes. Yeah, I've seen one of those. Awesome. I need a big blue cat. So they know Clawford. Clawford.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, let's take a quick break, okay? And we'll go to the Money Zone, and then we'll come back and do eight to nine more jokes. How's that sound? Maybe 20 jokes.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm being so specific with our numbers.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, we'll do between one and 150 more jokes.

[Theme Song Singer]

It's better. It's better with you.

[Travis McElroy]

You know what my cat does backflips for?

[Justin McElroy]

Is it Smalls? Trev?

[Travis McElroy]

It is Smalls cat food, Justin. I got pretty kitty.

[Justin McElroy]

Cats love it, too.

[Travis McElroy]

I got pretty kitty. She's not graceful in any way. She's a big, thudding. She's actually not big. She's little. She plods around the house, though, very loudly. She's not nearly as sneaky as she thinks she is, and she often misjudges jumps. But she's great, and I love her very much, and so I feed her Smalls cat food.

[Justin McElroy]

Does you have any favorite flavors? My cats, Olive and Amelia are crazy about Smooth Bird. They're. That's one of their favorites. They also like Smooth Other Bird because they like to take a walk in the wild side.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I like to mix it up. You know what I mean? We all do it. I like to eat bird and other bird, too, in my real life, so why not my cats, you know what I mean?

[Justin McElroy]

Here's a bit of data for you. After switching to smalls, 88% of cat owners reported overall health improvement. Really impressive. I'll say. Definitely. I've seen that in our cats since we switched them off at dry food. They're doing really, really well. Make 2026 your cat's healthiest year yet. Take advantage of their New Year Special and get 60% off your first order, plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com mybrother one last time. That's 60% off your first order, plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com.

[Travis McElroy]

Mybrother Justin, you know how all of Griffin's home decor is absolute dog shit?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, Trav, I. That is something that I care deeply about. I love decor. I know that you feel really strongly about that, and I do, too. And, you know, Wayfair is a great way to make your home look better. Wouldn't you agree, Griffin? Wouldn't you say that's important?

[Griffin McElroy]

This is wayfair I got this big ass shelf, this low shelf from Wayfair, just like a week ago. It's great.

[Travis McElroy]

Changing out some of the old stuff in your house?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

That's some of your bad stuff.

[Griffin McElroy]

You know, that's what I did. Why are you talking to me like that?

[Travis McElroy]

Maybe just updating. Well, you were in the bathroom and you just got back, so we just wanted to bring you back into the conversation.

[Justin McElroy]

Kind of talk about your furnishings.

[Griffin McElroy]

I forgot.

[Travis McElroy]

And they're about.

[Griffin McElroy]

I forgot we were even doing a show. This is how I talk to people. When I talk about Wayfair, I go like, this is that. This is them. That's them. No joke. Probably about three quarters of my office decor is.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, now I feel bad, Griffin, because I started this when you were in the room and I said, justin, do you know how all this stuff in Griffin's house is dog shit?

[Justin McElroy]

Griffin's house is dog shit.

[Travis McElroy]

And I was gonna talk about how you needed new stuff.

[Griffin McElroy]

The rest of the house is dog shit.

[Justin McElroy]

Wayfair.

[Griffin McElroy]

I have done this office up in Wayfair, and it is the crowning achievement of my surviving.

[Justin McElroy]

I go to Wayfair when I want to buy something nice for my house, when I want to buy something decent that I know is going to fall apart right away. You know what I mean?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Good. Good stuff. Big selection, nice quality items. Oh, and storage. Forget about it. I'm wild about storage over here. You know me, Justin. Storage McElroy. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

That's what they call.

[Justin McElroy]

Storage wars are over. I won. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Justin wonders. Yep. He did. Yep. I really. I had a hard time finding. I needed very specific specifications for a low shelf to fit in the background of my shot here. And I searched and they were like, here's 40. Exactly the size you need. Damn, Wayfair, you got me. You got my back. Thank you.

[Justin McElroy]

Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this year. For way less, head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com. Wayfair. Every style, every home, everyone. You added that.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I did.

[Justin McElroy]

That's not part of it. They don't want everyone every day.

[Travis McElroy]

Buy furniture. Buy a couch now every day left a riot couch. Up and down couch.

[Podcast Advertiser/Guest]

That's cool.

[Justin McElroy]

What?

[Travis McElroy]

Come look my credenza. Did you say, lick my credenza?

[Griffin McElroy]

I was gonna say, look at my credenza. And I realized the meter wasn't right, so it was just, come and look my credenza.

[Travis McElroy]

That's Dave Matthews after something terrible has happened to his credenza. Sorry, Somebody broke into the house. Something terrible happened to the credenza. Dave Matthews has just seen it. Oh, my God, the credenza. There we go. Thank you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sleep is important, but it's difficult sometimes. I'm John Moe on Sleeping With Celebrities. Famous people help conk you out by talking in soothing voices about unimportant things. Maria Bamford on parking.

[Justin McElroy]

I parked in a bus stop.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's just not right. I am not a bus. Roxane Gay on airports. My favorite airport is Indianapolis. It has a really smart layout. Alan Tudyk on yardsticks.

[Justin McElroy]

You hand somebody a yardstick, yardsticks become.

[Griffin McElroy]

Part of the family. Granted, it's a weird idea, but it's lots of fun and it works. Listen wherever you get podcasts.

[Podcast Advertiser/Guest]

Hey, it's sue the Subway train. Hey, guess what, Sue. I just inherited a game show and I have to continue it because there are people out there who like to curl up into a ball and listen to it. Yeah, it's a podcast where listeners submit game show ideas for others to play on air. Well, it is, in fact, the dumber the better, right? Right. It's called Dr. Game. Some curled up balls consider it a tradition, while others call it a train wreck. No, not you, Sue. It's Dr. Game Show. If you're the sort that likes to listen to people competing for refrigerator magnets, then curl up into a ball and listen to Dr. Games show every other Wednesday. MaximumFun.org.

[Travis McElroy]

What?

[Justin McElroy]

Why? I want a munch. I want a munch squad. Welcome, Munch Squad. It's a podcast profiling latest grades and brand eating. And today, I want to start out with a history lesson. The quesadilla is a Mexican dish, and it's made from a tortilla.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Or two tortillas.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

They're squished together and then they are cooked on a griddle or a stove.

[Travis McElroy]

What part of this is history?

[Justin McElroy]

This is the. This is what a. This is what a quesadilla has been.

[Travis McElroy]

That's not history, though.

[Griffin McElroy]

It is the history of history.

[Justin McElroy]

So sometimes. Sometimes it's heated in a comal, which can be made of cast iron or clay. And it has a long history where it's different. It has different versions that are celebrated throughout. For example, other variations include using wheat flour tortillas, especially northern Mexico, they use a Chihuahua cheese, or also known as queso menanita, a local cheese made by Mennonites. Now, here's an interesting fact for you about the quesadilla In Mexico City, it is not assumed that the quesadilla is going to include cheese, even though that seems implied by the name. No one quite knows about how this sort of like cultural hiccup happened or when this happened, but it is not that way through the rest of Mexico. But for some reason in Mexico City, this dish has a long and storied history. The quesadilla is an important part of the textual fabric of both Mexico and the southwest United States.

[Travis McElroy]

Cool.

[Justin McElroy]

So my question is this, if that's the case idea, what the fuck is this?

[Griffin McElroy]

Zaxby's. What have you done?

[Travis McElroy]

Zaxby's.

[Justin McElroy]

Zaxby's.

[Griffin McElroy]

What the fuck is Zaxby's? Take a beat and try again. Zaxby's.

[Travis McElroy]

Think about yourself. Brings back college student look and shit.

[Griffin McElroy]

Zaxby's, that's too thick, friend.

[Justin McElroy]

You know, they brought back southern fried shrimp and what they describe as giant quesadillas. And I don't know, it's as though the stuffing of the quesadilla had an ill fitting blanket. It's like it's taking a sleep study. Yeah, it's trying to wrap the quesadilla around itself, but it's too monumentally loaded with cheese and chicken. Yeah. For Zaxby is the motto. The motto is new Year, same saucy cravings. The brand famous for taking the Zax flavors fans love and delivering them in new and innovative formats is bringing back two of its most iconic creations, Southern fried shrimp and giant quesadillas. Zax was brought its beloved breading to the seas with the creation of southern fried shrimp and delivered a saucy twist to a Mexican staple. So they know about what they did. They know about it with giant quesadillas. And they do have the giant here in all caps. Because these motherfuckers.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can you explain kind of the. To your best ability, the sort of genetic construction of these?

[Justin McElroy]

So, like, okay, you know, chicken nuggets and the size and heft of a chicken nugget, right? Imagine you assembled 20 chicken nuggets in sort of a loose manhole shape, right? And then attempted haphazardly, at the bidding of your overlords, to try to cover them in tortilla, right? But there's not enough tortilla. Your bosses know it.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's ambitious.

[Justin McElroy]

They're just trying so hard.

[Travis McElroy]

This looks like the equivalent of one last Christmas present to wrap. And you just got to the end of the roll and you don't have another roll and you're trying different ways of taping and folding to make this sliver of paper cover the thing. There's so much filling in here that the quesadilla that the tortilla is almost not visible.

[Griffin McElroy]

I want to know what's in that filling. But they've attempted to sort of caulk the gaps between the chicken nuggets.

[Justin McElroy]

They've applied a rudimentary sort of mortar here to sort of smooth the whole thing together.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sort of stinky resin of what looks like cheese and maybe. Is that bacon in there as well? And sour cream? We'll find out. God damn it.

[Justin McElroy]

We'll find out.

[Griffin McElroy]

What a stack. What a stack this is.

[Justin McElroy]

Both menu innovations are back for a limited time only beginning January 19th, so the guests can indulge in a one, two punch of flavor delivered by some of their most beloved offerings of years past. You certainly are not implying that I should order both of these. Right? This is not a right. We're not saying that. This is a combo we want to enjoy.

[Travis McElroy]

Can I also say one, two punch? I am not a graphics expert. I'm not an art expert, but I do know how shadows work.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And I'm looking at this image.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And somebody had a lot of fun.

[Griffin McElroy]

Someone had fun with the shadows.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

It almost looks like the giant quesadilla is a vampire or perhaps translucent, actually.

[Justin McElroy]

That's great. The Zaxaus cast a very long shadow. The quesadilla cast notion.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's awesome. That looks cool, actually.

[Travis McElroy]

And the box. There appears to be a shadow cast from things that aren't there.

[Justin McElroy]

That's amazing. That's amazing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey.

[Justin McElroy]

You don't become the saucy. Zaxby's is one of the few chains that's still taking swings, and I thank them for that because it makes this segment worth living. You don't become the saucy chicken chain by doing what's expected. You do it by cooking up mouthwatering creations that put a new twist on classic flavors. Call it a three piece. Zaxby's is heading back to the Zaxis with the return of its Southern fried shrimp, making waves on the menus for a third year in a row. This time, Zaxby's is shrimping in three different ways, so there's something for every seafood lover.

[Travis McElroy]

You can.

[Justin McElroy]

They like the shrimp at Zaxby's.

[Travis McElroy]

You can't make the bold claim of you can't become the saucy king, whatever, by doing what's expected. So for the third year in a.

[Justin McElroy]

Row, we're running right, we're going back to the Zax seas alongside the maritime favorite. Sure, Zaxby's Giant.

[Travis McElroy]

They eat them on the ships, Justin. They love the shrimp.

[Justin McElroy]

We would eat the albatross and when.

[Griffin McElroy]

We ran out of albatross, we'd eat the men.

[Justin McElroy]

And when we ran out of men.

[Griffin McElroy]

We'D eat the giant quesadillas.

[Travis McElroy]

And we were cursed with calm seas to re through the giant quesadilla's overboard.

[Justin McElroy]

Cursed.

[Griffin McElroy]

I told them. Cursed. You can't have a woman aboard.

[Justin McElroy]

You must have a cat and you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can'T have a quesadilla.

[Justin McElroy]

They're making the return after their debut last year. Stacked and packed.

[Travis McElroy]

Stacked just like me. Socks.

[Justin McElroy]

It's socks, man. Stacked and packed with three of Zaxby's hand bread.

[Travis McElroy]

It's stacked and packed on its skin.

[Justin McElroy]

Or else it can get stuck. And breaded. Chicken fingers with a Z. Fuck off. The brand is offering two different ways to go big. Literally, with these hunger busting off.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, that's a way to put it, you nasty dog.

[Griffin McElroy]

With these toilet shattering pillows of food.

[Justin McElroy]

Can I just have a regular lunch and. No, no, like really eat our chicken.

[Travis McElroy]

D our chickens. Get sick of her cook. Punish yourself. You know why?

[Griffin McElroy]

What's in these things? I gotta know what's in these things.

[Justin McElroy]

Rupture your flesh.

[Travis McElroy]

Prison.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, listen, here's the deal.

[Travis McElroy]

It's time to ascend.

[Griffin McElroy]

Ascend.

[Travis McElroy]

With Zaxby's, the tortillas have gotta be.

[Justin McElroy]

Big to hold in all this sinning. A giant quesadilla packed with three hand breaded chicken fingers from fox.

[Griffin McElroy]

They're big with a snake.

[Justin McElroy]

What it is, it's a giant quesadilla packed with three hand breaded chicken fingers. Cheddar jack cheese, hardwood smoked bacon and creamy ranch dressing all folded into a warm flour tortilla, served with, against reason and logic, a side of ranch.

[Travis McElroy]

No, I was afraid that would be the case. Justin. I saw the sauce, I thought, no.

[Justin McElroy]

Certainly not a small drink. Now I'm assuming that the small drink is just included in the deal.

[Travis McElroy]

Like, I don't.

[Justin McElroy]

Please. It's mixed in the combo diatribe.

[Griffin McElroy]

It wasn't originally quesadilla. It was a liability issue. You need a friend to help it go down.

[Justin McElroy]

Choking hazard.

[Travis McElroy]

At what point does it go from quesadilla to like taco?

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, I think quesadilla means.

[Justin McElroy]

Doesn't the dia imply like a diminutive? Isn't that a small? I don't think.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't think so.

[Justin McElroy]

I Don't think so, but maybe. No, it's. Ito is what I'm thinking of. Anyway, we're kicking off the new year with bold flavor and fan favorite, says Patrick Schwing, chief marketing and strategy officer at Zaxby's. Our guests have told us loud and clear, said Patrick Schwing. Southern fried shrimp and our giant chicken quesadillas are two menu items they crave.

[Griffin McElroy]

Dia does diminutive. Justin. I apologize for correcting you, Justin. Dia does mean diminutive. And I stepped up from my six years of Spanish education, and I thought, I'm going to make my brother seem small right now. And I was wrong. And now I'm small. And I apologize.

[Justin McElroy]

If you, like me, had remained in college a fifth year to take your fourth Spanish class again because you failed it the first time, maybe you would recall a little bit better. Yeah. That memory. You got to do repetition. That's the thing. If you take Spanish for twice the second time, we are bringing them both back to give them exactly what they want. Our famous fingers. Sauces in new meals that they can only get at Zaxby's. Whether you're diving back into the Zax Cs or doubling down on bold cheesy. I'm going to get a tattoo that says Zax Sees Guys. It's all I could think about. Zaxby's is making sure fans start the year right now. What they mean by right there is anybody's guess.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Cause it's not in the light of the Lord, so I don't know what right they're referring to.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't know who wakes up January 1st and says, you know what I'm gonna do this year?

[Justin McElroy]

I'm gotta get it to you this year. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

You know what? I've made a promise to myself and to you, Deborah. I know where I fell short last year. As a husband and a father and a person, I will eat more. Zach Zaxby's. You're right.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm gonna swim the Zaxy's.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm gonna get fingered at Zaxby's. Like I always wanted to dream.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, man, that's cool.

[Travis McElroy]

It's on my bucket list. And you know what? I'm 75 years old. I'm not getting any younger. Hey, Zaxby, I'm gonna.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, Zaxby. Super Bowl's coming up, and these big boys are throwing heaters today, so you.

[Travis McElroy]

You.

[Griffin McElroy]

You can use one of these. Please, please. Just put us at the end of.

[Travis McElroy]

The get fingered at Zaxby's. Get fingered at powerful.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I have a mini fridge in my garage that stopped working years ago and I finally took it to the curb this morning. Don't you love shit like that? Yes. We realized, like, hey, why are we keeping this, man? Let's get rid of this. I placed a bag of trash on top of it to clearly communicate. This is trash. As I was backing out of my driveway, I was waiting for an opening to reverse into the street, and someone pulled up to my neighbor's driveway, walked directly in front of my car, removed the trash bag from the fridge, and took the fridge. He is now loading the fridge in his car. Am I obligated to roll down my window and let this person know the fridge is not functional? Please hurry. His hatchback is open and he is clearing space to make room. That's from Hesitant in Houston. I don't know. At which point we and the listeners agreed that it is assumed we're answering these questions in real time. But it is. It's always a great conceit. Hey, wait just one second.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I'm waiting. I'm waiting.

[Justin McElroy]

Hold on, wait. I'm waiting for our podcast to be released.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are you doing anything before next month?

[Justin McElroy]

Sorry, I don't have an subscription, so I gotta wait till Monday for it to release.

[Griffin McElroy]

First of all, you don't know what they're gonna be doing with it. Could be. Maybe they need a broken. Maybe it's a prop for a stage play. Maybe it is. They need the refrigerator parts. Cause they're trying to build their own wall. E. Maybe they need a box that doesn't get hot or cold, that they can keep food in just a normal box.

[Justin McElroy]

Maybe they wanna trap Punky Brewster's friend.

[Griffin McElroy]

Maybe they are setting a Punky Brewster's friend trap and they need a box, a refrigerator box for it. There's so many reasons they're gonna blow.

[Travis McElroy]

It up, you know, for like a viral video.

[Griffin McElroy]

Blow it up?

[Justin McElroy]

Maybe.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, they're gonna blow it up.

[Justin McElroy]

This may seem wild, but maybe they're gonna try to fix it.

[Travis McElroy]

You can't fix.

[Griffin McElroy]

Tell me how you fix a fridge or braider.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Fix an appliance. What are you talking about?

[Justin McElroy]

I'm just like, with tape. I don't go around picking up fridges because I wouldn't know how to fix it if it wasn't working.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

But my assumption when I picked it up off the street would not be, oh, perfect fridge, Nice.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

You know, that's true. I think that if you leaned out your window and said, hey, just so you know, that doesn't work. The response is almost certainly going to be, yeah, no doy.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, no shit. Really? No shit. That's why it's free. Huh?

[Travis McElroy]

I thought this was just your little yard fridge.

[Justin McElroy]

You take that to the flea market, you slap a sticker on it, says $5. Oops, that's profit.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Just because that person could recognize it, you can't. That's not their fault.

[Podcast Advertiser/Guest]

Or.

[Travis McElroy]

Or you trade it up. Yeah, yeah, you trade it up.

[Griffin McElroy]

How the fuck did you think that? That is what I was going to say.

[Justin McElroy]

Why did you assume that I was like.

[Griffin McElroy]

Or you were like, yes, Griffin, trade it up. That was. That was wrong and wild.

[Travis McElroy]

No, like, you're going to take the broken mini fridge to the flea market. No, you're going to see, like, a broken stand mixer. I'm gonna trade this for the broken stand mixer, and then I trade the broken stand mixer for, like, a broken jukebox, and pretty soon I own a house.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, A broken house.

[Travis McElroy]

A broken house. There was a broken man who owned a broken house.

[Justin McElroy]

There should be a trade. Your broken Dodge SRT for a broken house.

[Griffin McElroy]

I would love it if we could check in on one of those people who, back when vine existed, were like, hey, everyone, here's my daily trade. Trading up from paperclip up to get my own house. But then you check in on them 10 years later and they're like, guys, I kept trading and I got back down to a paperclip. Sometimes I don't know what happened.

[Justin McElroy]

Sometimes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sometimes you bite the dog, Sometimes the dog bites you. I was in a house for a sweet minute there, but then someone was like, hey, this is a nice house. Do you want to try this van? And then it went van. Then it went telescope, then it went broken stand mixer, then it went broken microwave, and now I got a paperclip again. God damn it. But I'm coming back. You only lose once. You give up. I'm coming back to a house for sure.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, guys. I started with a paperclip. I traded my way up. Turned out that paperclip was like a one of a kind misprint from 1963 worth $5 million. So if you have that paperclip still, I'll trade you this house. Trade you back for it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Could have saved us both a lot of time. Lot of time.

[Justin McElroy]

How about another question?

[Griffin McElroy]

Sure.

[Travis McElroy]

Do it.

[Justin McElroy]

I work at a nature center, and in the summer, the bushes are overflowing with delicious black raspberries. Raspberries, however they're called. Blackberries. How embarrassing. However, we are located in the city park and foraging is prohibited during all daylight hours. Seven days a week. The whole area is crawling with management, summer camp kids, other staff, and just regular park goers, all of whom could be potential witnesses to my crimes. How do I avoid getting spotted while taking all the berries my heart desires? And if I get spotted, what excuses can I make to get away scot free? That's from Raspberry Swiper in southeast Michigan.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wow.

[Justin McElroy]

What?

[Travis McElroy]

Can we as a society agree to get rid of the pee in raspberry?

[Griffin McElroy]

I think we should. I think we need to circle back as the society to a lot of words. Wednesday. Raspberry. Just a lot.

[Justin McElroy]

Restaurant.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, my God. Restaurant always gets me. Where's that? You go. Who the fuck knows?

[Griffin McElroy]

No one knows.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

Could you, if caught, say, like, poison checker?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yep.

[Justin McElroy]

They would know. That person would be on staff.

[Griffin McElroy]

They would probably know.

[Travis McElroy]

That's a good point.

[Justin McElroy]

You know what I mean? Like, that person would be on staff. They would be employed. They wouldn't be a volunteer. I don't think you can be a volunteer, Poison checker.

[Griffin McElroy]

So maybe you hand out a handful of raspberries. They're looking for. They're not gonna bust you. They're looking for you.

[Justin McElroy]

That's what I would. I just put the wrist out.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Let's go.

[Griffin McElroy]

Bless me. Let's go.

[Justin McElroy]

Let's go.

[Griffin McElroy]

And then they come up to you.

[Justin McElroy]

They can lock me up for these delicious berries.

[Griffin McElroy]

They come up to you to slap the cuffs on you. Open your palms. You're giving them some delicious black raspberries.

[Travis McElroy]

Let them get their beak wet.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

Because they're a crow.

[Griffin McElroy]

You say, welcome to the.

[Justin McElroy]

I know what you might be thinking. Boy, these guys are sure letting it show how their interactions with cops typically go is two, three white guys. See, it may not sound like a great idea to you to offer these cops. Barry.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, now, wait, hold on. But you've jumped from. I work at a nature preserve. There's kids around. And my bosses and your.

[Griffin McElroy]

And your. And your actual assumption is. I think this says more about your anxiety than anything else that your assumption is cops are going to be like, those aren't your black raspberries.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm taking your boss.

[Justin McElroy]

Your boss spots you and calls.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, I warned you.

[Justin McElroy]

It's a theft. It's a theft. Prohibited doesn't mean by social mores. It means by the law. Do you understand?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. This is what I'm saying.

[Justin McElroy]

Of course it's illegal.

[Griffin McElroy]

You say there's fucking.

[Justin McElroy]

Foraging is prohibited. That is a legal. It is a city park. Yes, foraging is prohibited.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's a crime.

[Justin McElroy]

It's a crime. You'll go to jail.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay? So. But, like, be cool, dude. Like, we used to be so cool. And we'd be like, yeah, man, you're on the rip. You need to say, you give them to your boss or whoever comes by. He's like, you know that foraging is prohibited. You open your palms. There's a bunch of black raspberries in there. You say, welcome to the rip, my friend. They eat them. You say, now we're both dirty. And now you got two baskets going around grabbing these things.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, God. What if you just smush a berry? Like, they come up to you to bust you, and you smush a berry on their hand?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

Like, oh, that's forever. Look at you. It looks like you're culpable. You better still help me clean up. You're going down.

[Griffin McElroy]

Going down. I'll take you with me. I swear to God.

[Justin McElroy]

Take you with me. They just rub it on your teeth. Look at that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Look at that.

[Justin McElroy]

Somebody's a sloppy eater. Looking hungry.

[Travis McElroy]

Blame it on a bear.

[Griffin McElroy]

If they catch you picking berries off of a plant, say it's because of a bear.

[Travis McElroy]

The bear made me do it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Bear has my family. My name is Ranger Rick. A bear who is very mean has taken my family. I do not know where they are. He says he wants picnic baskets. He says it's hard for him to get them cause he's a bear. But I am in a position of authority. People trust me.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm worried that my wife has developed Stockholm syndrome.

[Justin McElroy]

My name is Special Agent Jack BAUER. I have 12 hours to retrieve enough blackberries to save my daughter Kim and the country.

[Travis McElroy]

As long as they're out.

[Justin McElroy]

And the country. Yeah, it's the country, too. It's a country thing. What if you fell into the brambles mouth first, and then it's like, this is poorly labeled. Ah, I believe I've scraped myself. Ah. Management is to be blamed. And then, like, as they're like, oh, no, sir, I'm sorry. Please, please, no, I'm sorry. Just like, grabbing.

[Travis McElroy]

I thought you were gonna go for, like, a slip and fall thing. It's like, yeah, you slip and fall.

[Justin McElroy]

Into the berries, right? And then you're just like. Like, no one could get mad at you because they're worried about a lawsuit.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Cause you. You might have gotten cut on the.

[Griffin McElroy]

You will get cut. I think that's important to say that Justin's plan does come with a certain amount of bodily harm. Justin has some lovely BlackBerry bushes outside of his house that when we go and stay there, sometimes we'll go out and pick them if they're in season. And nothing connects me more to my kind of, like, ancient roots. Nothing puts me on deep time more than getting poked by a bramble when I'm trying to get a berry out of a bush. And I'm like, this is what it was like. This is what it was like back then. And I'm not cut out for this lifestyle. I'm a hunter.

[Travis McElroy]

That's true.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm a hunter, not a gatherer.

[Travis McElroy]

That's not true.

[Griffin McElroy]

Which part?

[Travis McElroy]

The hunter part?

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, there wasn't a third thing. So if I'm not a gatherer, I had to be a hunter.

[Travis McElroy]

Dad, I think was the third stuff.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, somebody's eating it, you know. Gotta be eaters. Otherwise, what are we hunting and gathering for? There's gotta be podcasters, you know.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, shit.

[Travis McElroy]

Those are the three times.

[Justin McElroy]

Hunters, gatherers, podcasters.

[Griffin McElroy]

And we must stop this train of thought because it'll get us to a point where our obsolescence becomes so crystallized.

[Travis McElroy]

Overwhelming.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. So obvious. You know what? I can't think of a better note to end on. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. Hey, thank you for indulging us for another hour.

[Travis McElroy]

We need this. Thank you so much.

[Justin McElroy]

We need this.

[Travis McElroy]

We need this more than you at this point.

[Justin McElroy]

It's 2026 and we need this.

[Travis McElroy]

We need this. We need you.

[Justin McElroy]

Stop it.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, we got merch over in the merch store if you haven't checked that out. We got backpacks. There's Taz and my brother and my brother me. Options designed by Justin Gray, who is burnt to build on Instagram. And 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the Immigrant Defenders Law Center. Also, we started back with McElroy Entertainment System over on our YouTube channel. We just did a really fun animal crossing with the new update. And we've also started, like individual streaming over there.

[Justin McElroy]

Tuesdays at noon is going to be super McElroy brothers playing games. The last Tuesday of every month is going to be clubhouse and you can find us on YouTube. Come watch. And then we got streams going throughout. We've got. We're doing more gaming streams.

[Travis McElroy]

I've got ADHD, Techtif coming up on Wednesday. Wednesday's at 11:00am Wednesday's at 11:00am I'm.

[Griffin McElroy]

Gonna be doing something.

[Justin McElroy]

Travis, that's almost now.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, Shit. I know, dude.

[Travis McElroy]

I will. You gotta go, dude.

[Justin McElroy]

Let's wrap this up.

[Travis McElroy]

Also wanted to let everyone know we got like four more packages over at Champions Grove. We got a 10% New Year sale, 10% off New Year sale going right now. Go to championsgrove.com check that out. It's four person attendance packages. Come hang out at a castle in Hocking Hills, Ohio. Play some really fun games, do some workshops. All kinds of fun stuff with me and some other really cool creators like Christine, Ariel, Hayley, Whipjack, Paul Foxcroft, Riley Silverman, Diego Salinas and Vivvivka. One more time. Check [e-mail]. we'll see you there.

[Griffin McElroy]

I've got a couple books coming out. My choose your own adventure book, the stowaway, comes out March 10th. You can pre order that now at bit lygryphenstowaway. It's a SCI fi romp out in outer space and it's full of high intrigue, adventure and danger. Also, we have the last Taz graphic novel coming out in July and you can pre order that as [e-mail] Also.

[Travis McElroy]

We haven't mentioned it in a while. If you have questions for the show, you can send them to nbmbamaximumfun.org yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Please and thanks to Montaigne for these five. Theme song, my Life Is Better with youh. It's a great track and a golden oldie and I love it so much. It looks like Justin's got something chuckable ready here.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. I watched you turn around, Justin. I was like, wow, he's really checked out.

[Griffin McElroy]

It is his turn to.

[Travis McElroy]

And then I realized like, like he's gotta find something to heat.

[Justin McElroy]

I gotta find something to throw. Yeah, I got shure headphones. They're like in ear headphones in a case. So I think the case may actually be what saves me.

[Griffin McElroy]

You got a lot of stuff in the background. Where are you gonna aim so that you don't destroy something that way? Okay, just right here.

[Travis McElroy]

We need to get the audio at the acoustic panels. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, that's a good point. But I gotta make it. Okay, there's like one square.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can you throw it at the microphone? No. Cause if you miss, it's not gonna.

[Justin McElroy]

So there's one square at the ceiling.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, Justin's gonna throw it up. Wait, wait, wait. And now our. Our big toss for the big boy. A heater.

[Justin McElroy]

Here we go. My name is Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm Travis McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Griffin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

Did you miss your dad?

[Griffin McElroy]

Sounded like you missed.

[Travis McElroy]

I think you missed.

[Justin McElroy]

You can't miss. You make it stink.

[Theme Song Singer]

Is better with you. My life, it's better. It's better with you. It's better My life, it's better. It's better with you. Is it who you are? It's better. It's better with two. It's better with you.

[Griffin McElroy]

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