MBMBaM 804: Aaron Space, Boy Astronaut

Summary

MBMBaM 804: Aaron Space, Boy Astronaut

Date: March 9, 2026
Hosts: Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy

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Episode Overview

In this energetic and laughter-packed episode of My Brother, My Brother And Me, the McElroy brothers dispense dubious but heartfelt advice to listeners on topics ranging from sleep apnea treatments to the logistics of labyrinth-themed weddings. The episode kicks off with a deep dive into Travis's adventures with his new CPAP machine, meanders through a tangle of vending machine etiquette, and then launches into creative solutions for chaperoning a high school trip to Washington, DC. Riffing with their typical blend of absurd digression and relatable adult angst, the brothers also detour into Arby's fast-food marketing stunts and the curious legacy of food mascots. Throughout, their trademark dynamic delivers both genuine advice (sort of) and comedic gold.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. CPAP Machine Trials & Sleep Talk

Timestamps: 01:36–09:46

• Travis shares his new CPAP experience, describing the initial discomfort and the hijinks of trying to sleep with forced air and a "head belt".
• Griffin and Justin compare CPAPs to futuristic cyber implants, joking about the inevitable march of time and aging.
• Travis discusses having monitored sleep and being required to wear the CPAP for insurance:
  "If I don't wear it for four hours a night, 21 nights out of 30, take it away." (06:15)
• Justin mentions magnesium as a helpful sleep aid, prompting existential dread in Griffin about their future: "I got a real actual chill up my spine just now ... seeing fucking magnesium and cyber nose implants." (05:08)
• Discussion about how time and health devices mark their slow transformation into increasingly medicalized middle-aged men, capped with self-deprecating generational jokes.

2. Shouting at the Future & Modern Woes

Timestamps: 07:25–08:56

• The brothers half-jokingly address "future people" who might look back and mock CPAP technology:
  "We're doing our fucking best." (07:32, Travis)
• Riffing on how life is "fucking weird and so bad in a new, different way literally every morning," (08:05, Griffin) they make peace with being judged from the future.

3. Vending Machine Justice

Timestamps: 12:15–16:34

• A listener writes in about being shortchanged by a stubborn Dr. Pepper vending machine.
• The brothers debate etiquette on reclaiming lost sodas:
  • "I think you can do it once, but if every time this person comes in to restock, you're like, 'happened again', it’s gonna seem like a scam." (13:04, Travis)
• They joke about taking photos for evidence and explore the pitfalls of the vending business:
  • "All you gotta do is make sure that big boy pays out every time." (14:33, Justin)
• Discussion drifts to odd vending machine snacks and the regional oddities of products like Andy Capp’s Hot Fries.
• Extended riffs on the unlikely deaths attributed to vending machines vs. sharks:
  "Why are we out here catching strays, dude?" (16:07, Griffin)

4. Chaperoning Field Trips: DC Edition

Timestamps: 18:37–27:35

• The brothers brainstorm ways to make museum tours fun for bored students in DC:
  • Griffin suggests a "Washington Monument spotting game".
  • Justin and Travis riff on soap opera-style field trip drama and the awkwardness of parent social circles.
  • Justin mentions the importance of understanding "the politics of the group" to be an effective leader.
• Griffin advocates for Planet Word as DC's best museum and recalls touching (and sniffing) a moon rock:
  "I put my face way down in there and I smelled it and my kids yelled at me." (23:03)
• Suggestions for keeping students engaged:
  • Play Pokémon Go in DC for abundant stops (23:50)
  • Invent museum games such as “fakespotting” fake art, or attributing everything to Dolly Madison.
  • Planting a National Treasure-style scavenger hunt with a Nicolas Cage lookalike: "I think his name is Nicholas Treasure in the movie." (27:01, Griffin) (Followed by, "Benjamin Franklin Gates." [27:30])

5. Munch Squad: Arby’s Goes NASCAR (and Jimmy Eat World Eat Beef)

Timestamps: 32:15–44:08

• Justin introduces a new Munch Squad:
  • Arby’s “Meat in Three” box and their partnership with NASCAR events.
    "Arby’s has been hard at work to find a way to bring the meats to more fans." (33:36)
  • Riffs about the embarrassment of not being able to sponsor an entire NASCAR car:
    "Don't you think that must be embarrassing when Arby's is like, check out our Arby's car ... and fucking Sunoco's on there too." (34:09, Griffin)
  • Suggestions for alternative uses for Arby’s meats and the dystopian future where beef is currency.
• The “Meat in Three” box is roasted (pun intended) for its dubious contents:
  • "I don't think it means seasoned up curly fries, full blown mozzarella sticks and what looks like a fried apple egg roll perhaps." (43:22, Griffin)
• Justin laments missing a real-life Jimmy Eat World concert held inside an Arby’s, expressing extreme jealousy:
  • "There is, if you think that we are in any way judging or criticizing Jimmy Eat World for doing this, you do not know our brand." (38:16, Justin)
• Banter about “eat the middle of the sandwich” and Arby’s chef jackets, plus reading real Instagram comments.
• Relatable moment: “I just want to be in a place where I can thank Arby’s and mean it.” (40:45, Griffin)

6. Labyrinth Wedding Quandary

Timestamps: 44:12–48:36

• A listener wants to know whether to clarify that their wedding is in a labyrinth but not themed after the film, Labyrinth.
  • The brothers agree: “You’re having a labyrinth themed wedding. You need some stuff in there from the film.” (44:34, Griffin)
  • Comparisons to holding a wedding at Super Nintendo World and insisting it’s not Mario-themed. (45:06)
• Debate about the mechanics of a “maze wedding”; opportunity for Labyrinth film gags (David Bowie, orbs, the worm, etc.)
• Travis suggests elaborate references:
  "Having a ring bearer come in and it's like a little fox puppet on the back of a big shaggy dog ... incredible." (47:59)
• General advice: Let someone else who loves the movie plan it, and enjoy being confused at your own wedding.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Travis on the first CPAP experience:
  "The first thing my face did is what I imagine someone in the Alien film franchise feels when a facehugger latches on." (02:18)
• Justin on magnesium:
  "You know what actually helped me is magnesium." (05:07)
• Griffin on existential dread about aging:
  "Seeing fucking magnesium and cyber nose implants..." (05:08)
• Travis on CPAP insurance requirements:
  "If I don't wear it for four hours a night, 21 nights out of 30, take it away." (06:15)
• Justin imagining future judgment:
  "To me, the CPAP machine ... has always seemed to me like one of the main machines that future people are gonna be like. What was this? Nice try, guys." (07:02)
• Justin, philosophical on vending:
  "As a vending machine operator, that shouldn’t just be a hassle of the job. It should be job one." (14:33)
• Justin, on Arby’s NASCAR:
  "Arby’s has been hard at work to find a way to bring the meats to more fans. We used to have decorum ... Yeah, we're gonna bring you the meats, you dirty dogs." (33:36)
• Griffin on missing the Arby’s Jimmy Eat World concert:
  "I just want to be in a place where I can thank Arby's and mean it." (40:45)
• Travis, reducing wedding confusion:
  "If you've never seen the movie, you're having a maze wedding." (47:31)

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Important Timestamps for Key Segments

• CPAP & Aging Talk: 01:36–09:46
• Vending Machine Justice: 12:15–16:34
• Chaperone & DC Advice: 18:37–27:35
• Munch Squad: Arby’s & NASCAR: 32:15–44:08
• Labyrinth Wedding Conundrum: 44:12–48:36

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Tone & Dynamic

• Language & Delivery: Casual, irreverent, honest, and frequently absurd.
• Energy: Highly playful, full of familial teasing, with moments of real-life resonance about aging and adult friendships.

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Episode Takeaways

• Embrace aging and its oddities with humor—even when faced with sleep masks and magnesium.
• When in doubt about social protocol (or vending machine theft), document everything—preferably with a newspaper for proof.
• In Washington, DC, fun is where you make it: Pokémon Go, dubious museum facts, or enlisting a Nicolas Cage lookalike.
• When marketing reaches its silliest—whether in fast food, mascots, or Jimmy Eat World at Arby's—lean in and enjoy the spectacle.
• If you’re getting married in a labyrinth, you’d better brush up on your Labyrinth trivia (and David Bowie impressions).

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(Summary formatted for quick reference and deep engagement, attributions per timestamp as above.)

Transcript

[Griffin McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

[Audience/Chorus]

It's the start of something beautiful A

[Griffin McElroy]

small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into

[Audience/Chorus]

a precious friends I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life it feels like. It's better it's better with you My life, ah. It's better it's better with you this is true it's better it's better with two.

[Justin McElroy]

It's better with you hello, everybody, and welcome to My Brother, My Brother Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

What's up, Travnations? It's me, your brother, Travis. Big dog.

[Justin McElroy]

Wolf.

[Travis McElroy]

Wolf. Vroom, vroom. VA heater McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's up, trav Nation? It's me, your sweet baby brother, Griffin. 30, under 30, media luminary. Built Ford tough, Randy Johnson McElroy. He needs something pitching, like some sort of, like, throwing or baseball or.

[Justin McElroy]

If you don't mind me saying, Trav, you look so well rested.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's true. All this in my head or do

[Justin McElroy]

you have a little bit of the glow?

[Travis McElroy]

No, I've got the glow, Justin, because I, and I don't want to brag, got myself a cpap? More like an A plus Pap, if you ask me. That's right.

[Griffin McElroy]

I imagine C stands for something pretty important. Like cool. It's cool.

[Justin McElroy]

What does your body.

[Griffin McElroy]

CPAP means Cool Pap, right?

[Travis McElroy]

Correct.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, cool.

[Justin McElroy]

What did your body do the first time you strapped a mask to your face and you were like, and now we sleep. Was your body like, ah, interesting.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't bleed.

[Griffin McElroy]

You have a head belt on and that's new for me as sleep.

[Travis McElroy]

The first thing my face did is what I imagine someone in the Alien film franchise feels when a facehugger latches on where all you want to do is claw at your head and free yourself from it. And then the second thing my body did, because I was instructed by the person who gave me the mask and whatnot, it has like a negative pressure thing, you know, it's blowing. Basically, it's blowing air into my nose and then kind of also when I breathe out, pulling out and.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, man, that's fucking dope. You can just, like.

[Justin McElroy]

Virtuous cycle. Yeah, man.

[Travis McElroy]

Not even breathe.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's so sick.

[Travis McElroy]

And then they were like, good for the earth.

[Justin McElroy]

Good for you.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And then they were like, but you're gonna wanna keep your mouth closed, because if you open your mouth while it's on, air will pour out of your mouth.

[Griffin McElroy]

Nose air.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, it's like a dragon. It feels like if I open my mouth while I have my CPAP on uncontrollably,

[Justin McElroy]

like, all the air just shoots

[Travis McElroy]

out of my mouth. So as soon as I put.

[Justin McElroy]

It's like the machine from Princess Bride.

[Travis McElroy]

It's just pumping the air through you a thousand jellos. As soon as I put it on, my ADHD brain was like, open your mouth. Open your mouth. Open your mouth. Open your mouth.

[Griffin McElroy]

You gotta know the sound it makes, Travis. Create the vacuum.

[Justin McElroy]

Create the vacuum. Look at the sun.

[Griffin McElroy]

Look at the sun.

[Justin McElroy]

I.

[Griffin McElroy]

Your ADHD won't let you sleep until you open your mouth so I can hear what sound it makes.

[Travis McElroy]

And so when I opened my mouth, it was like, imagine a film where there's an evil demon or something pulling the life essence out of a human being. It was that. It felt like that. Like everything was being pulled out of me.

[Griffin McElroy]

But then it was good, right? Like, eventually it was like, super good.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, the other thing that's fun about having ADHD and a CPAP is the CPAP is monitored.

[Griffin McElroy]

A lot of letters. You're a lot deep at that point.

[Justin McElroy]

A lot of letters, Trav, maybe you should just take a sleeping pill, huh? Letters.

[Travis McElroy]

This is the thing, Justin. This is fun. It's not exactly the sleep that's the problem. My random limb movements are off the charts, baby. Anything above 15 an hour is abnormal. I was averaging 49 an hour. So I'm just.

[Justin McElroy]

Everybody.

[Griffin McElroy]

Kung fu fight.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, man. I'm over here flailing around. And so the CPAP is remote.

[Justin McElroy]

Wait, wait. Real quick, real quick.

[Griffin McElroy]

Let you get a.

[Justin McElroy]

Hang on. I bought jokes. A massage. I bought jokes. A five minute massage. So I let him actually go get

[Griffin McElroy]

that, which is good.

[Justin McElroy]

I was really struggling with those random limb movements. It might have been my brain meds. I don't know. That was part of the theory. But you know what actually helped me is magnesium.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Ah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Holy shit. Hey, wait. I got a real actual chill up my spine just now. I got a real chill up my spine. I don't know if it's from like, oh, God. This is incredibly vulnerable for our audience or. I don't know if it's because I'm looking at ghosts of Christmas future and more future and seeing fucking magnesium and cyber nose implants.

[Justin McElroy]

That was so mean.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, it's just. I mean.

[Travis McElroy]

But to be fair, it is a fun thing about having a three year gap between each of us is you can kind of chart like. Well, I better start saving for that.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, Griffin, you should be so lucky you're 42.

[Griffin McElroy]

Should you, Trav? Your 42?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, I'm setting the timer. That's how long I got before I need the implants and then juice a few years after that. Thanks for having the same birthday. Makes it real easy for me. Magnesium all day, so it's remotely mono.

[Justin McElroy]

I wish I'd started it sooner. And Griffin, you will also have the spider man surgery to look forward to. You get the wrist cut up? Yeah, yeah, Trav, how's the sleep been lately?

[Travis McElroy]

So it's remotely monitored. If I don't wear it for four hours a night, 21 nights out of 30, take it away. So that's a fun thing to know when I am still waking up in

[Justin McElroy]

the middle of the night.

[Travis McElroy]

And then I have to do mental calculations real quick to see if I can take the mask off yet or not.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that's cool.

[Justin McElroy]

What are you talking. Wait, what are you talking about? They take it away? What do you mean?

[Travis McElroy]

Or I guess I have to pay for it out of pocket or whatnot. I don't know.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, is it like you're not. You're a bad boy? Who's not following?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I'm just renting the CPAP machine. I'm renting that good sleep air.

[Griffin McElroy]

And I imagine that's the insurance company making that decision and not the medical professionals I have to assume.

[Travis McElroy]

So I think.

[Justin McElroy]

Can I tell you my CPAP thoughts as an outsider now that you've experienced it? You can tell me.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes, please.

[Justin McElroy]

But to me, as somebody who's done a medical history podcast for 13 years, to me, the CPAP machine has always been like super helpful for the. It's been a game changer, a life changer for the people that need it. But it has always seemed to me like one of the main machines that future people are gonna be like. What was this? Nice try, guys.

[Audience/Chorus]

What?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I mean, they'll have some way of sending nano machines. Yeah, of course. And guess what? Fuck off, future people.

[Justin McElroy]

We don't have nano machines.

[Travis McElroy]

We're doing our fucking best. We're doing our fucking.

[Justin McElroy]

Justin Jr. Come on, dude. 20, 60 people get out of Our

[Griffin McElroy]

butt crack for a second. We didn't have nano machines. We had to pump it in there.

[Justin McElroy]

Do you know our apprentice? Our president is the guy from Apprentice.

[Griffin McElroy]

Are you guys. Come on.

[Justin McElroy]

We're doing our God damn best.

[Travis McElroy]

The guy in charge of medicine is RFK Jr. You're lucky you got to exist.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. Actually history. If you're looking back at this with research. Go away.

[Travis McElroy]

Go away, go away. This whole guys are by our standards.

[Justin McElroy]

We all know that on their own,

[Griffin McElroy]

everything's fucking weird and so bad in a new, different way literally every morning when we wake up. So fuck off, future.

[Travis McElroy]

And we also know to get it. So if you're in the future and you're thinking they thought it was all normal, but now we look back, no,

[Griffin McElroy]

no, dude, we fucking get it for sure. For sure.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm going to realize I was hanging a lot of hopes on this. I'm a 42 year old dude. Of course, every time I thought this was the thing, Every time I get a new thing, the doctor's like, oh, I think it's this. I'm like, this is gonna fix it all. I'm gonna wake up tomorrow, I'm gonna feel fucking amazing. And then it's like, no, we're still just trying to maintain a level of okay. Based on your constant, you know, failure.

[Justin McElroy]

We're gonna try to get you back to where you were at 24 when you could stay up past 11. That's all we can try to shoot for at this point.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

So now I've got a bite guard. I've got a cpap. I guess I'm taking magnesium.

[Griffin McElroy]

Now. Here's what I'm. My whole thing with cpap.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm more plast. Sorry, go on my news.

[Griffin McElroy]

My septum's, like, fucking crazy. My septum's, like, going absolutely hog wild in there. So my breathing's never been great. I use breathing machines, not machines like strips and magnets and all that jazz. I do think a CPAP would be maybe something helpful for me. But also I'm kind of waiting until they got screens on them. I'm kind of waiting until it's like a full. Like a full wraparound half head sort of, I guess, more futuristic. VR, AR.

[Justin McElroy]

That's actually good. As long as we're there. Trav, can you do, like, scent blasted yet? Can you do, like, nacho cheese air

[Griffin McElroy]

like at one of those cool, hip oxygen bars that are definitely still a thing?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, we don't advertise that with the product, but God damn it, if I Haven't thought about it, man. I think I totally could. I got a hose. My hose comes out of the top of my head of the mask.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, that's cool.

[Travis McElroy]

I can just fully flip around in my dollar store Bane cosplay. All I want is for that to smell like some sick ass eucalyptus or whatever. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

The first time your kids come in while you're wearing it in the middle of the night, how are you gonna avoid the temptation to not pretend you're the predator?

[Griffin McElroy]

Cause I definitely would be like,

[Travis McElroy]

you've woken hibernation, baby. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes, it's me, your daddy.

[Travis McElroy]

The difference between you and me, bb, is you're afraid of the dark. And I was born in it. And I need this to breathe and not flail around in the middle of the night. Teresa also has one, so we have his and hers matching, like, masks and stuff.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, that's cute. Do you guys wrap your elbows around when you put them on each other?

[Travis McElroy]

What's your air like? You know, it's really romantic.

[Justin McElroy]

They looped each other's tubes in an infinity symbol that's on the wall. It's like decorative tubing that's cut.

[Travis McElroy]

So now if our children clean, I can only imagine, like, years from now, Dot will be like, all I can remember is my parents in these alien pods hooked up. I don't know what data was being transmitted through their noses.

[Griffin McElroy]

What if you got a pipe organ in the back, like as your headboard and you had the tubes coming out of that? That would look like badass, dude.

[Travis McElroy]

Fuck, dude. That'd be awesome.

[Griffin McElroy]

That would be so cool.

[Justin McElroy]

This is an advice show and we are. My advice, take care of your human body.

[Travis McElroy]

Especially earlier. The better.

[Griffin McElroy]

Magnesium. Magnesium. Pound it.

[Justin McElroy]

You could probably track some of the lifestyle advice we were giving in 2010 and our current situation and draw a flowchart to the repercussions of that, those choices.

[Griffin McElroy]

Now when my scalp is going buck wild and I am fucking fighting it tooth and nail, and then I go Back to episode one of MBMBan where I'm like, shampoo and soap is the same thing. I'm like, Jesus Christ, man. That's why it's actually cool to be able to draw. Like, draw. I can submit episode one of MBMBAM as medical history to my dermatologist and be like, this is why my scalp is the way it is. I used to think shampoo and soaps was the same time to do a question.

[Justin McElroy]

I work at a large public library. Thank you to our librarians. I went to a public Library this week, and it was a beautiful one. The Cabell County Public Library. If you ever been to that branch.

[Travis McElroy]

Bragg.

[Justin McElroy]

Gorgeous. I know, it's great. You guys remember that library?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

Support our libraries, I guess.

[Justin McElroy]

I work at a large public library. Only one vending machine in the employee break room has Dr. Pepper. Several times now, the beverage has failed to fall after I've already paid for it. Doesn't happen every time, so I keep falling for it. A man comes in to restock the vending machine once every one to two weeks. Brothers, how do I tell this man he owes me several Dr. Peppers? Can I ask him for one while he's restocking, or do I take my losses and pick a different soda that's from Parched and pepperless in Rochester?

[Travis McElroy]

I think you can do it once, but if every time this person comes in to restock, you're like, happened again, it's gonna seem like a scam.

[Justin McElroy]

Even if it's true, you can't do several at once. Right. Because I think the onus is on you. If it happens once, I think that's life. Right. And you can be upset about that. But if you continue to pump bucks into this Dr. Pepper machine, and you know that you're just addicted to gambling at that point, you know it's not going to hit sometimes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Now, they did say in additional details that it was high up, so they couldn't get another drink to knock it down. But you could get a second Dr. Pepper to knock that first Dr. Pepper down the chute. Then you have two Dr. Peppers.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

One's not gonna go to waste.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, that's true.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, but do you think that the next person gets one? It's like a dub.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And it's like double docs.

[Griffin McElroy]

You gotta wait. You gotta wait for the next person to come and get Dr. Pepper. And when they get a dub, you're like, one of those is mine.

[Travis McElroy]

That's mine.

[Justin McElroy]

One of those Dubadox is mine. You got Dubba docs for a buck.

[Griffin McElroy]

That sucks.

[Justin McElroy]

That sucks.

[Travis McElroy]

Every time one gets stuck, you're going to want to take a picture of it with today's newspaper next to it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And then you can show that to the vending machine person and be like, here's proof that they were held hostage from me. Please return my sons.

[Justin McElroy]

That's so embarrassing. The one thing that it's such. That's such an easy business to be in the. Honestly, the vending machine business, like podcasting is easier, granted. But like the vending Machine thing. All you gotta do is make sure that big boy pays out every time. Like, and if you're like, hey, the big boy didn't pay out this time.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

As a vending machine operator, that shouldn't just be a hassle of the job. It should be job one.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

You failed in the one thing. You know what I mean?

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, the only other maintenance request I personally have is just no products in there that they don't make anymore. I don't care if things are expired or past their prime. I get that. But, like, I don't want to. I don't want to roll up to a vending machine and one of the options is Fruitopia, because then I know that everything else in that vending machine is probably pretty suspect.

[Justin McElroy]

Sometimes an operator. This happens with new operators a lot. You'll read about it in the trades where they will want to position the machine at what they think of as more of an extreme angle.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, dude.

[Justin McElroy]

So it's more of like a lean wedge, and that creates an incredibly dangerous sit. So that is actually the biggest problem as a vending machine owner number one is don't let them fall on fire.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that's like.

[Justin McElroy]

Don't put it at, like, a funny angle or something. Like extreme angle.

[Griffin McElroy]

You guys know how, especially during Shark Week, people like to quote the statistic that fewer people are killed by sharks each year than are killed by when vending machines fall on them? And do you think that the vending machine owners and operators of America are like, what the fuck, man? Why are we out here catching strays, dude?

[Travis McElroy]

Unfortunately, we've never thrown shit at sharks.

[Audience/Chorus]

Why are you.

[Travis McElroy]

Why are you out here?

[Griffin McElroy]

You know what else causes more death than vending machines? Like heart disease? Like, a bunch of shit. So why are we catching strays out

[Travis McElroy]

here, Dude, Hot fries.

[Griffin McElroy]

We're just trying to fling Andy Cap's hot fries at anyone with a buck. And I don't understand. They don't make those anymore. Shit. Yeah. Do they still make Andy Cap's hot fries?

[Justin McElroy]

I'm certain. I think Andy Caps don't like Andy Cap anymore.

[Griffin McElroy]

I love that there's. I love Andy Caps out here and he's making snacks, and I love snacks. Fries is such a wild thing to call that treat. Those are not even close, my guy. Yeah, not even close. Not even close.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, that's just another thing for him and his wife to argue about.

[Griffin McElroy]

Why was he the one that they were like, we need a mascot for our hot crunchy chips. Our hot crunchy Cuboid chips. They were like, what about Famous Spouse Arguer? Andy capped.

[Justin McElroy]

They're crunchier than you want them to be. They're hotter than you want them to be. They're the kind of snack you eat when you just want to feel something. And that's Andy Capps Energy, right?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. They were already using the lockhorns for pretzel bites, so they were like, we need somebody who else hates their wife.

[Griffin McElroy]

These are Midwestern Takis, and they're. We got to get Andy.

[Justin McElroy]

Get Andy.

[Griffin McElroy]

We got to get Andy for these.

[Justin McElroy]

I like the ones where, like, you think about the Flint. You ever think about the Flintstones like that? Like, contextually, there's not a. You know, there's not a cartoon people aren't watching. The kids aren't watching that. But they do make vitamins and cereal. What a wild character.

[Griffin McElroy]

So wild.

[Justin McElroy]

Man, when I grew up there, one of the things that I knew about growing up were this dinosaur family that sold you vitamins and cereal.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Whoa. Why?

[Griffin McElroy]

I do think they went with the Pebbles connection there. I do think everyone else kind of just kind of slid into the role, but there's not.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm trying to think of, like, there's not like, oh, there used to be a Trix Rabbit cartoon that was famous, like, BB And Dot. We were eating some Cocoa Pebbles, and they were like, who are those people? And I was like, great question. And I don't know how to explain this in a way that won't make you question my understanding of human history.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, you're not gonna get it right.

[Justin McElroy]

Have another question, please. This is. We're helping. I feel like we're really actually on a roll.

[Griffin McElroy]

We've done one for helping. We've done one. Oh, I guess the magnesium thing. Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm chaperoning a high school trip to D.C. in March. What are some ways I can alleviate any potential boredom in my students while touring the city? I would like to have small games or side quests ready if they start to get disinterested during a museum tour. For context, we are going to some very cool places like air and Space, natural history, and some less interesting. I have no control over the itinerary. That's from flummoxed in Florida.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. What's great about the Washington Monument is that it's really tall, and you can see it from a lot of parts of the city, depending on where you are. So that could be a good. Like, there it is again. Look over there. Peeking. Peeking over that building. That's still the Washington Monument. Sometimes they put big, crazy, incredibly, unbelievably gaudy laser displays up on it for the country's 250th birthday, but there it is, right there again, still there. I know. We're in Arlington. You can still see that tall motherfucker.

[Justin McElroy]

He's so big.

[Travis McElroy]

Do you think when you're, like, a high school teacher or high school chaperone, stuff like that, do you think you have to actively try to observe and figure out the storylines that are playing out between the students?

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't think that's part of it. In fact, I think they would probably prefer you don't do that.

[Travis McElroy]

This is what I'm saying. Do you have to actively do it, or do you think it's unavoidable that you're like, I wish I didn't know that. These people were like. They both liked them and they actually liked them.

[Justin McElroy]

To not have some understanding of that, though, is that. That's just disinterested. Yeah, right. You have to have some understanding of the nuance to be able to lead.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I think if you don't understand the politics of the group.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you guys ever volunteer to, like, chaperone field? Field trips? Henry's on a field trip today, and, like, they're always kind of looking for chaperones, but I never think I would do a good enough job of it that I thought that I actually do a volunteer.

[Justin McElroy]

I think I would do a great job at that. My problem is that there would be other parents there and they had event or something where they all learned each other's names. Yeah, I didn't.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, they went to the pancake luncheon that you got nine fucking emails about. They did meet up at the pancake luncheon.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, guys.

[Travis McElroy]

It's gotten bad, man.

[Justin McElroy]

My kids have been in school for a little while. These parents know what each other does for work and stuff.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, real.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, dude, I'm falling way behind.

[Travis McElroy]

You know what I mean? Some of my dudes play, like, golf together or flag football or some shit. Yeah, man, I'm falling way behind.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sometimes I'll roll up on the playground and I'll see, like, two different parents from two different families, like, hug when they see each other. What?

[Justin McElroy]

What? What?

[Travis McElroy]

Casually start a conversation. No choices were made, no effort happens. They just start talking to each other, and I'm like, how do you give each other.

[Griffin McElroy]

Give each other a hey, from across the playground. Holy shit.

[Travis McElroy]

Say each other's name with confidence, like, Mark.

[Griffin McElroy]

Really?

[Audience/Chorus]

What?

[Justin McElroy]

Whoa, you got the ice cold.

[Griffin McElroy]

That was One Peter.

[Audience/Chorus]

Peter, no.

[Travis McElroy]

Ask about other friends who aren't there. Yeah, you guys have. Outside of you two having to talk to each other's parents know, a third party.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's wild, man. That's wild.

[Justin McElroy]

Do you ever see two people. Oh, my God, I was party to this last weekend. Do you ever hear two people that don't know each other and have just met trying to figure out the connections that they have? Like, did you know this person or did you go to this time at this school? Oh, my God. Throw me through a plate glass window.

[Travis McElroy]

Mom, I'm out.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

No, thank you.

[Griffin McElroy]

So, man. Dc.

[Justin McElroy]

Dc. Griffin. Tell them the real dc.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

What are you looking for? Take it behind the curtain.

[Griffin McElroy]

If they hadn't said, I have no control over the itinerary I'd love to provide. Planet Word is my favorite museum, first of all.

[Justin McElroy]

Says who? Yeah, you got two legs and a voice, you know.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that's true.

[Justin McElroy]

She says you got no control over the itinerary. If you're like, this way, kids, I

[Griffin McElroy]

think if they're all holding onto one of those little, like, long ropes that high schoolers do, take them to Planet Word. It's about the history and mechanisms of language. It's great interactive museum. It's my favorite museum in the city. Air and Space rips. They're always updating that shit. You can go in touch, guys. I smelled the moon.

[Justin McElroy]

They actually.

[Griffin McElroy]

What? Yeah, I went to the Air and Space Museum has, like, a little thing. It's covered by a dome and it's got a little bit of moon rock in there. You can. I mean, I think they want you to touch it. But I put my face way down in there and I smelled it and my kids yelled at me. My kids said, you're not allowed to do that.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, that'll help.

[Griffin McElroy]

I didn't get much of an aroma.

[Justin McElroy]

I am also proud to announce that the Air and Space Museum has finally started stocking my astronaut detective fiction novel, Air and Space. Boy Astronaut.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

That is an exciting development for me. Air and Space is.

[Griffin McElroy]

How many volumes Deep are you is the Air and Space?

[Justin McElroy]

I have written six and published a novella of the first half of one. So I'm. It's an outline.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

There's more of an outline right now for Air and Space.

[Griffin McElroy]

Pokemon Go.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, that's a good one.

[Justin McElroy]

That's not bad.

[Griffin McElroy]

In most cities, there's a great pokestop density. In D.C. where there's, like, monuments and shit on every corner. You're getting pokeballs and potions. And revives and RAID tickets and shit left and right.

[Justin McElroy]

It's crazy.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm also willing to bet that the per square mileage hauntings of D.C. is pretty high.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sure, sure.

[Travis McElroy]

So you can learn about the haunted history of places and try to catch a ghost.

[Justin McElroy]

We took a ghost tour in dc Trev. What? We took a ghost tour in dc.

[Griffin McElroy]

We took a ghost tour.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, but I was checked out for a lot of it.

[Justin McElroy]

No, no.

[Griffin McElroy]

Did we do one in dc?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, you weren't there. Cause you had to be with your kids or whatever.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, Dorcas, they're scared of ghosts. They're scared of ghosts. Oh, what's the mansion? The manor on O Street. That's a good museum.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, that's.

[Griffin McElroy]

Kids maybe aren't gonna understand a lot of the stuff going on in there. Maybe they're not like huge fans of, I don't know. One room is old anime stuff and then one room is like. This is the Jimi Hendrix room. Crazy.

[Travis McElroy]

Are you allowed to bring a metal compactor with you?

[Justin McElroy]

Awesome.

[Griffin McElroy]

One joke at a time, please. I'm just one man. I can't laugh at two jokes at the same time.

[Justin McElroy]

I just had a follow up question, so if Travis has a joke, that would add to the overall joke count for the episode. And I'd love to get our JPM up.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Are you allowed to bring a metal detector with you? Because I'm sure it's frowned upon, but I doubt there's something in the handbook that says you can't bring a metal detector with you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. What are you expecting to find? I guess if you wonder, the National Mall? There's probably, I mean, you know, a lot of history. Yeah. Some, like, peace sign medallions.

[Justin McElroy]

You think you could start talking now about how you've heard many works of art in museums are fakes? And then once you're there, just start kind of haphazardly like that one. That one you can tell. Look right here. Right here. This is a crayon part. They did this with crayon?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Actually, you can tell from this detail here.

[Griffin McElroy]

If you look here in the National Portrait Gallery, Mr. Bean did come through and he destroyed the Obama portrait by a series of silly accidents. And he did paint it back up with a poster and some lacquer. You can see the signs of Mr. Bean's work here, here and here.

[Travis McElroy]

Point at every piece of art you see and attribute its existence to Dolly Madison saving it. And just see how many of those you can get away with. Like, and we wouldn't have had that if it weren't for Dolly Madison.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, thanks.

[Travis McElroy]

Dolly Madison.

[Justin McElroy]

You could have a map of the world and have your students mark the different places that the works of art they' seen her from. So they could kind of see all the diverse locations that. Hold on one second. Jokes, get back in. Massage is over.

[Travis McElroy]

Jesus Christ.

[Griffin McElroy]

Jokes. You're running up the fucking massage room. It's supposed to be five minutes, dude.

[Audience/Chorus]

What the fuck?

[Justin McElroy]

Five minutes. Dude, put your pants on. Jokes.

[Travis McElroy]

You could try to plant a hypothetical national treasure everywhere you go now.

[Griffin McElroy]

I was about to go to national treasure.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

And you could hire someone who kind of looks like Nicolas Cage and have him sort sneak around the corner, different parts of the city where you're not stopping. So you have that little interstitial, like everyone keep an eye out for whatever that guy's name is. I think his name is Nicholas Treasure in the movie.

[Travis McElroy]

His name. Oh, no, hold on.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do it.

[Justin McElroy]

Benjamin.

[Travis McElroy]

Benjamin Franklin something.

[Justin McElroy]

Benjamin Franklin Gallagher.

[Travis McElroy]

Something like that. You're also gonna need to hire a Sean Bean lookalike to be the evil guy.

[Justin McElroy]

Benjamin Franklin Gates.

[Griffin McElroy]

Benjamin Gates.

[Justin McElroy]

Ben Gates.

[Griffin McElroy]

Ben Gates. Cool name. That was like a million great ass suggestions. Like these fucking.

[Justin McElroy]

That's like we're helping so many people. It's kind of weird.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, that's not totally applicable to this. You can use it in any circumstance.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, listen, we're on fire. Let's take this energy and direct it towards capitalism where it belongs.

[Griffin McElroy]

To the money zone.

[Audience/Chorus]

It's better. It's better.

[Travis McElroy]

Lugu, have you been doodling? What would Pokemon look like as people for years now. And you've gotten really good at it and you want to sell your art online. Have I got an idea for you. Squarespace.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you do this?

[Travis McElroy]

Do I?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

No. I have no artistic ability outside of architectural drawings I've done. What would Pokemon look like as buildings? And it doesn't. It just doesn't convey the same kind of power or sexuality.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, some Pokemons is buildings now.

[Justin McElroy]

What? Is that true?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, they're making Pokemons out of everything. What's that?

[Justin McElroy]

People living inside the Pokemon.

[Griffin McElroy]

People don't live in them. They just turn into big. They turn into big buildings, but they

[Travis McElroy]

don't live in them. That seems like such a waste.

[Griffin McElroy]

Squarespace is the best way to make a website and put it online and have people think you're a professional and then also, you know, have those people pay you for your goods and services that you offer on this incredible looking website. We've been obviously advertising with Squarespace for Many years now. It's probably the longest and healthiest relationship any of us have ever had. But Squarespace also is something definitely the most supportive. The Squarespace we've used many times to build websites for ourselves. Our brands, our jokes. So many places we've had to use Squarespace's services. And I say had to, I mean get to, because it's fun. It's simple drag and drop sort of functionality. Beautiful world class design templates. Any kind of tools for payment or like appointment scheduling or whatever you need your site to do. Dang, Squarespace is gonna make it.

[Travis McElroy]

Have you guys ever noticed dad has never sponsored an episode of My Brother, My Brother and Me. And Squarespace has many, many, many, many.

[Justin McElroy]

Wow, dad.

[Griffin McElroy]

And you know what? Dad takes money from us. Yeah, Squarespace gives us money to talk about their product. And dad only takes money gave us

[Justin McElroy]

money earlier, like before.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, but that was when I didn't need it. I was a child. I didn't need money when I was a child. What was I buying?

[Justin McElroy]

They should have held onto that money and gave it to you later when you needed it. They were wasting it on you as a kid.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I would have loved the 25 cumulative dollars Clint McElroy ever gave me. Now drag his ass. Wow, dad. Three bucks.

[Travis McElroy]

Economy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Three bucks, huh? Merry Christmas to me. Anyway, head to squarespace.commybrother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code mybrother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hey, it's TV Chef Fantasy League. You know, the podcast where we watch cooking competition shows and we treat them like fantasy sports.

[Justin McElroy]

Right now, we're getting ready for Top Chef Carolinas. We spend all year covering these competitions, but now it's time for the main event.

[Griffin McElroy]

The apex predator of competitive cooking television shows.

[Justin McElroy]

Tune in, draft a team and play along with your hosts, Sierra Kato, Mike

[Griffin McElroy]

Cavilon and Ifywati Way.

[Justin McElroy]

New episodes every [e-mail] or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wonderful is a podcast where we talk about things we like that's hard to sell in a promo like this. So we've enlisted the help of piano rock superstar Billy Joel to tell you about some of the topics we've covered. Take It Away, Real Billy Joel, Diddy

[Justin McElroy]

Rock Spin on Lake Syne Worlds and Shire Circle Time, Sega Dreamcast, Caesar Salad, Tower of Annoyed, Keepy Upping Time Capsules,

[Griffin McElroy]

Wayne's World Cheese Bulls, Wallace Stevens, Donkey

[Justin McElroy]

Kong, Fun Size, Almond Joy. They didn't start the podcast except that's not true. They did in 22. They didn't start the podcast. No, they actually did.

[Griffin McElroy]

That was in fact a film. Listen to Wonderful Every Wednesday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks, Real Billy Joel.

[Justin McElroy]

No problem.

[Griffin McElroy]

Griffin.

[Justin McElroy]

Squad A what to Munch Squad. Welcome to Munch Squad. Is podcast within podcast profiling the latest and greatest brand. Eating Arby's and racing Arby's speed.

[Griffin McElroy]

Arby makes Arby. When I eat rb, it makes me go fast.

[Justin McElroy]

RB goes fast. Arby's kicks off the meat in three boxes. Pit stops to. And this is a quote. Fuel the masses.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cool, dude.

[Travis McElroy]

That feels like a lot of words. And by the end of it, I don't know any more information than I knew at the beginning.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Since launching the 7.99 meat in three box. That's what it's called.

[Griffin McElroy]

Meat in three.

[Justin McElroy]

Meat and three is the three delicious.

[Travis McElroy]

You can cross this bridge when you eat my Meat and three.

[Justin McElroy]

There's. Yeah, they announced it with Master real estate. I had to. This is ghoulish. I, you know, I don't want to get down. I don't want to get on these freaking side tangents every time we do these things, guys. But people are just like out here doing stuff. Yeah, these are the real estate people that announced the meet in three box. They're not. Are we all doing okay?

[Travis McElroy]

Those aren't real people.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, they're real people that announce. Anyway, anywho. So the meat in three boxes. Three is a meat and three things. And they're trying to find a way. This is again in the press release. Arby's has been hard at work to find a way to bring the meats to more fans. We used to have decorum, you know. Yeah, we're gonna bring you the meats, you dirty dogs. The solution eight Arby's sponsored NASCAR O'Reilly Auto Parts Series races, three race car drivers and multiple meet and three box pick pit stops along the way.

[Griffin McElroy]

It must be so embarrassing for a brand to not be able to sponsor a whole car. Don't you think that must be embarrassing when Arby's is like, check out our Arby's car. And fucking Sunoco's on there too. And tied dishwashing pods and Duracell batteries.

[Travis McElroy]

But it's mostly us, so you can.

[Griffin McElroy]

But it's mostly. We're on the hook.

[Travis McElroy]

A beef racer if you want. That would be cool.

[Griffin McElroy]

Not the beef and battery racer, because Duracell calls it the battery racer boat. It's really the beef racer.

[Travis McElroy]

It's the beef razor.

[Griffin McElroy]

Things are tough right now. Lots of people going vegan. We can't afford a whole NASCAR car.

[Justin McElroy]

We want to bring you the meats, but we don't bring so many meats.

[Travis McElroy]

You have to make scotch for them.

[Griffin McElroy]

Damn vegans keep making us stop.

[Justin McElroy]

You don't have to eat them, but will you just hold them?

[Travis McElroy]

Just buy a couple?

[Griffin McElroy]

Just smell our meat. You might. Then you might like it.

[Travis McElroy]

What if you were vegan plus Arby's,

[Justin McElroy]

you could do it. You could use it for other stuff. I keep telling you, give it to

[Griffin McElroy]

your dog, feed it to your turtle.

[Travis McElroy]

Maybe put it in, like a safety deposit box and leave it for a great grandchild or something like a family

[Griffin McElroy]

beef loom in the future. Beef is money.

[Justin McElroy]

We made it the.

[Travis McElroy]

We've been in the future.

[Justin McElroy]

Please.

[Griffin McElroy]

We're not gonna spoil anything, but you're

[Justin McElroy]

gonna want this meat now. This is what I. This is what I want to get to, though.

[Travis McElroy]

This is.

[Justin McElroy]

And this whole thing.

[Travis McElroy]

This.

[Justin McElroy]

Like, it's not that surprising that Arby's would do up some, like, Arby's branded races. Like, it's a tour of Arby's branded races powered by horsey sauce.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cool.

[Travis McElroy]

You think there's a lot of prestige for winning one of these races?

[Justin McElroy]

Huge. Huge. Are you kidding me? I'll tell you what is bad is if he's hurt.

[Travis McElroy]

That's not how you want that in your head. Yeah. How did he go out? Yeah, he was at the top of his game. And then he was doing the beef races. And Jeff Gordon. Yeah, he.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know why he was still. His license has been revoked. I don't know how they got him out there.

[Travis McElroy]

And what I did was foaming at

[Griffin McElroy]

the mouth, just screaming about horsey sauce. And he did die.

[Travis McElroy]

There's no better way to put it. He beefed it.

[Griffin McElroy]

He did.

[Travis McElroy]

He beef it real hard. And that's what always be remembered.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's what all the headlines said. They did work in some sort of beef pun in quotes. His family.

[Travis McElroy]

Well done.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, that's.

[Travis McElroy]

The car was on fire.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that's another beef thing. So apologies to the Gordon estate.

[Justin McElroy]

I guess the thing that is hard for me and I. This is the thing that I want to share with you guys. And it's hard that I missed it, that this event occurred that I'm about to describe to you and that we weren't cordially invited to it, and the fact that it happened that this was real. And it happened on the eve of NASCAR's biggest race. Arby's showed up with Max Horsey power in Daytona. Building on the success of last summer's Jamocca Shake tour, the brand hosted a surprise Jimmy Eat World pop up concert inside a local Arby's restaurant at Ridgewood Avenue in Daytona Beach. The free concert transformed Arby's into a rock and roll dance floor complete with branded airbrushed hats.

[Griffin McElroy]

Jimmy World rock and roll dance floor.

[Travis McElroy]

Sorry, Griffin, you just brushed over airbrushed hat. Custom airbrushed hats.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, they had custom airbrush hats. And I actually have. If you guys have a second, I have some like live video.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Jimmy Eat Beef or Jimmy Eat Beef.

[Justin McElroy]

Let me see if I can. Do you still feel caught in something loud?

[Travis McElroy]

So who says that rock is dead?

[Justin McElroy]

It's so good. First of all, huge jealousy. And there is I. If you think that we are in any way judging or criticizing a Jimmy Eat World for doing this, you do not know our brand. I'm telling you, I'm so furious that this happened and we did not get to participate.

[Travis McElroy]

I would have done it for half the price.

[Griffin McElroy]

I just wanted half whatever Jimmy did.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, I want to be work on it with Jimmy World because I don't want to. My brother and me doing exclusive concert in at Arby's is just a regular Wednesday afternoon in Huntington.

[Travis McElroy]

That's not a big. I'm just saying we would have opened.

[Justin McElroy]

We would have opened for Jimmy. You're looking for very reasonable fee Jimmy's up there.

[Griffin McElroy]

I wasn't familiar with that other song, but you know, Jimmy's gonna play Sweetness or something at some point. And there were a lot of people in that video. Justin, you showed me of that private Arby's Jimmy World concert. Oh, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

All those people just happened to be at Arby's.

[Griffin McElroy]

They were fucking airbrushing hats and shirts and they were eating the food and they were talking pretty loud with their friends. And meanwhile, great American rock classic group Jimmy Eat World is on stage to an audience of people who really are there for the beef and the hats and the. And the art activity and the babes. It looks like some of them were.

[Travis McElroy]

I would have been there for the music.

[Griffin McElroy]

I definitely would have been. That's why I'm saying like if you're at a Jimmy World concert, even if it's at an Arby's, take a minute to. It's like when you're sitting down at a restaurant and then like a pianist comes up on Stage and starts playing for everyone and you gotta give them a little like. Like you gotta give em a little bit of attention. I think.

[Travis McElroy]

Just take some time, little girl. You're in the middle of a concert at Arby's.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

The other version I was gonna do is you just take some time, little girl, and eat the middle of the sandwich. It's full of beef.

[Griffin McElroy]

Eat the middle of the sandwich. Now that was an old Arby's campaign where they were like, the middle's where the beef is. Only eat the middles. And it was like, that's wild.

[Travis McElroy]

For some reason. It was like straight through the middle. Don't eat to the middle. Kind of dive at it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Bore a hole in the sandwich.

[Travis McElroy]

Pour a hole in the sandwich.

[Justin McElroy]

I would like to read some comments from the Instagram post. Tekishi Doodles says the ultimate way to start our 2026 best party I've airbrushed at. Thank you so much for inviting us to paint your merch, Arby's. Cool.

[Travis McElroy]

Thanks.

[Justin McElroy]

God bless you.

[Travis McElroy]

God, I wish I lived a life where not only did I go to an airbrush party, but I had gone to so many airbrush parties that that was a metric.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is the best one. I just want to be in a place where I can thank Arby's and mean it.

[Justin McElroy]

Someone said, that's cool. John Lithgow partying like a rock star. That is not a kind thing to say and I wish you hadn't said it. I don't think Mr. Lithgow is in the video and I'm sure he would love to get out there, but I did not. See.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's wild. Why did they bring. Why did they put their name?

[Justin McElroy]

Why is John Lithgow in here? Catching.

[Travis McElroy]

Why is he here?

[Justin McElroy]

That is the party that you've been missing. Just so you know. Inspire team members. That's from the people at Arby's HQ took a behind the scenes look at Arby's number one Chevrolet. They took a tour of the JRM race. Team hauler and even had a chance to score tickets to Saturday's race. And then I want to show you guys a picture. And they've got this on the thing where you can watch. I don't know, it's one of those carousels. Don't you hate that?

[Griffin McElroy]

I fucking hate that shit, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Hold on. Wait.

[Griffin McElroy]

Don't make your images some sort of special CSS element that I can't then share with my brothers easily to make them laugh.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, good. I'm gonna. I think I Can share. I'll just like put this image. They got people in the Arby's chef coats and the fact that these image that these things exist is really what I'm jealous of. Can you see these? Look at that. Look at that.

[Travis McElroy]

I know you're not.

[Justin McElroy]

You guys aren't excited enough. It's a black chef's coat with a huge red Arby's logo on it. I would do anything. Are you kidding me?

[Griffin McElroy]

It's pretty.

[Justin McElroy]

Look at these people. They're the Arby chefs. They're the ones who are like, eh, maybe too many slices of roast beef on that one.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah. You know, like this cheese sauce is not thick enough.

[Justin McElroy]

We could probably layer a different kind of meat that we've never even fucked with in here if we just try it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you guys think you could go and score me some of that thick Burger King mayonnaise that we can then put on the new one?

[Justin McElroy]

I did wanna show you guys a picture of the meat in three box.

[Travis McElroy]

I like how in this picture and I know the people at home can't see it, so let me describe it to you. The roast beef sandwich towers above the other three, just really lording it over the peons.

[Justin McElroy]

It looks like they're worshiping at the feet of the sandwich. Right?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

While the power behind the throne of the giant Coca Cola goes, yes, my lord.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes, I've heard of.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes my Lord.

[Griffin McElroy]

I've heard of me.

[Justin McElroy]

Listen to this. Cry your name, my lord. They cry for you. Au jus. They say au jus. Spill your jus on us. Drip upon us, my lord.

[Griffin McElroy]

I've heard meaton 3 used in a sort of southern barbecue sense. But usually when I hear it that way, they are implying that there will be some sort of vegetable or bread sort of involved in there with the three. I don't think it means seasoned up curly fries, full blown mozzarella sticks and what looks like a fried apple egg roll perhaps.

[Travis McElroy]

Justin, I'm just really glad that you showed us this picture because every time you say meat and three, I assume it has something to do with someone's dick and three balls. Yeah. So I'm glad that you put it.

[Justin McElroy]

No, it doesn't. And it doesn't. And I guess Arby's, please, as always, get at us like, I don't know, Jimmy Eats Brothers.

[Travis McElroy]

It's the perfect crossover.

[Griffin McElroy]

Brothers eats beef.

[Justin McElroy]

Brothers eats beef. My fiance and I are getting married in a walking labyrinth. We realize people may assume it's movie themed because we've been saying we're having a labyrinth wedding.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

Should we explicitly stay on invitations? It has nothing to do with the film. Or just see what people think a labyrinth wedding is. I haven't even seen the movie.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I'm sorry. You are actually having. You're having a labyrinth themed wedding. You need to be okay with the fact that it's. You can't just have it be in a. It's a labyrinth themed wedding. You need some stuff in there from the film. You gotta have the stuff from the film in there, man.

[Travis McElroy]

That's like saying, yeah, we're having a wedding in a cube. But it's not a cube shaped cube.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's not based on cube webbing. Yeah. We're doing it at the new Super Nintendo World Amusement park. It is not a Nintendo based event. This wedding.

[Justin McElroy]

It's.

[Griffin McElroy]

But do not dress up as Mario. He will be there. But it's not. It has nothing to do with it.

[Travis McElroy]

It just worked out that the Fortress of Solitude had the dates available that we're looking for.

[Griffin McElroy]

We are not doing Superman's.

[Travis McElroy]

Superman.

[Justin McElroy]

No, I don't.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think he's boring. It's a beautiful fortress.

[Travis McElroy]

Bit of a trek. It is a destination wedding. We realize that's gonna be a problem for some folks. Yeah. It's in the Arctic.

[Justin McElroy]

Do you think I don't know what this is? And so that can sometimes not a super funny thing when someone's trying to guess what a real thing is. But I'm guessing that they're on opposite ends of it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And they're trying to find each other. When they do, they're married.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. And they only have 10 minutes. There's also. You also don't want to run into one of the scarecrows. Cause if they get you, they tear up your marriage license right there.

[Travis McElroy]

We hidden it inside the Shrine of the Silver Monkey.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, the Shrine of the Silver Monkey contains the rings. Justin, you can say your maid of honor and your best man once, but if they get caught by one of the scarecrows, they're going to kill them. David Bowie will not be there. Goblin King will not be there. Little nasty worm will not be there. Hand hole. No, not any of that shit.

[Justin McElroy]

No.

[Griffin McElroy]

Orbs.

[Travis McElroy]

Orbs will be there for a price.

[Justin McElroy]

Why haven't you seen Labyrinth?

[Griffin McElroy]

It's great.

[Justin McElroy]

I gave my kids a stink eye when I realized they hadn't seen Labyrinth and they're kids and I'm their dad. And I still was like, really?

[Travis McElroy]

You guys haven't seen Labyrinth? I wish I could watch it Again for the first time.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

I just saw someone put out a labyrinth themed set of sneakers and I almost bought them for hundreds of dollars. And I wouldn't even wear the ding dang things.

[Griffin McElroy]

How funny would it be if you told everyone it's the movie? Never even seen the movie. And then you get to the vows and then you're like, you remind me of the babe. And then you reveal like, just kidding. And then you both pull out orbs. Oh, my God.

[Justin McElroy]

If you walk out to magic dance, I know you've never heard it and you shouldn't. Cuz when you realize the Omega Bop that you have just dropped on your wedding and the first time you're hearing it is when you're married.

[Audience/Chorus]

What?

[Travis McElroy]

You're double twitching. The officiant holds up their hands and they've got eyeballs in the palms of their hands and they hold it up to their face and it's a Pan's labyrinth themed wedding. Whoa.

[Justin McElroy]

I love that.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's cool.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't want to be a jerk, but if you've never seen the movie, you're having a maze wedding. You do not like labyrinths. You do not like labyrinths enough to call it a labyrinth wedding if you haven't even seen the movie about them. You know you don't like labyrinths. It's a maze wedding.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's a maze wedding. And that's like something that's like some slylock fox. Like Sunday.

[Justin McElroy]

It's a lot easier, isn't it?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I want a wedding that's like on a kid's restaurant activity. You know what I mean?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

You're missing so many opportunities too, because I think they're so having a labyrinth themed wedding that's actually labyrinth themed of like having a ring bearer come in and it's like a little fox puppet on the back of a big shaggy dog that can like bring in the ring. Fucking incredible.

[Justin McElroy]

But let someone who loves the movie plan it and do all this and you still don't see the movie. So when you show up, it's like, what is happening?

[Griffin McElroy]

What is happening?

[Travis McElroy]

And then at the reception, you screen the movie and go, oh, okay.

[Justin McElroy]

When the audience stands up and they all talk with their hands in unison, you're gonna flip your shit.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Also, guys, why is this the second time as many days we've talked about the hands?

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know. I was talking about thick sauce earlier. It feels like we're just doing a sort of sequel. The last episode.

[Justin McElroy]

I mean, we're the same people Just a week older, I guess.

[Griffin McElroy]

Two days older.

[Justin McElroy]

Days older.

[Griffin McElroy]

We recorded the last Monday. It is currently Wednesday. About 40 hours as the crow flies from the last.

[Justin McElroy]

Explains why my last thought before we started recording was, I can't believe I have to do this.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, we just did this.

[Justin McElroy]

Talk. Talk to these Sam. Oh, man. It's a good flick though. Just catch it. Yeah, I mean, thanks so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you had fun. We hope you enjoyed yourself. And you remind me of the babe.

[Travis McElroy]

What babe? The babe that wrote a choose your own adventure book. His name is Griffin Mackrey. He's a wee babby.

[Griffin McElroy]

I got it here now. It's called the Stowaway and it cost $10. Have you read it?

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, I want to. Hey, Griffin. Hey, Griffin. I want to start a countdown clock as a promotional tool for your book. Okay. Has your son read your book yet?

[Griffin McElroy]

He has not.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. It's so far one day. How many days have you had it?

[Griffin McElroy]

How many days have I had it? About three weeks. My man, he is dedicated. All right, three.

[Justin McElroy]

Three are now on day 21 of Griffin's book.

[Griffin McElroy]

My youngest son read it with me. My 9 year old is like, all

[Justin McElroy]

right, we're now on day 21 of Griffin's oldest son not reading his book. Griffin, I do want to continue to check in periodically.

[Griffin McElroy]

He will get paid. Eventually he'll begin to take a curiosity to what his father does. Bit lygryphenstowaway. You can beat my oldest son at reading the book that I wrote called the Stowaway. And it's a choose your own adventure book. It's an outer space survival tale perfect for middle grade readers or anyone who wants to hear a great interactive adventure hosted by yours truly. It's called the stowaway and it's $10. And the first week of book sales are so important, so bit ly. Griffinstow, help me out. It's $10.

[Travis McElroy]

Over at Macaroymerch.com, we got a lot of great merch this month, including helping is always a free action T shirt. They're really cool. I think you're going to like them. And 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to border angels. So go check that out. McElroyMerch.com we stream over on the McElroy family YouTube. We got clubhouse the last Tuesday of each month and on all the other Tuesdays we're doing Super McElroy Brother gaming streams at noon Eastern time and we got solo streams throughout the week. I Just started a run of Return of the Obra Dinn on adh, Detective, so make sure you check that out every Wednesday.

[Justin McElroy]

I know.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm playing Majora's Mask Randomizer every Friday. It's called Trial by Fieri.

[Justin McElroy]

God, what a game.

[Griffin McElroy]

God, what a game indeed.

[Justin McElroy]

Just also a game. Yeah, Majora's Mask is a game as well.

[Griffin McElroy]

Have you settled on what you're doing next, J?

[Justin McElroy]

Man, I have been thinking about playing mystery.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah? Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Hell yeah, man.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't think kids today have seen Myst. You know what I mean?

[Griffin McElroy]

No, it's fucking. It's a wild one. Do like an old. The old, like, DVD version of Myst. Do like one of those old wild ones.

[Justin McElroy]

The old busted down thing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thanks to Montaigne. Thanks for my tamesong. My life is better with you. Did I mention that my book's out tomorrow? March 10th? I don't think I said that part.

[Justin McElroy]

Tomorrow is the crow fly.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. So go check that out. And I'm gonna, I guess.

[Travis McElroy]

Throw the book. Throw the book.

[Griffin McElroy]

Throw the book. Throw the book. I'm not gonna throw it super hard. I mean, I do have a lot of copies of it.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Throw the book.

[Griffin McElroy]

Aw, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Throw the book.

[Travis McElroy]

Throw. I can't believe he's gonna throw the book.

[Justin McElroy]

Fahrenheit 451 is so little respect for the art. Griffin's throwing his own work.

[Griffin McElroy]

3, 2, 1.

[Justin McElroy]

That's what Griffin's son does every time he hands him the book.

[Travis McElroy]

It was perfect, though. Like it kind of landed flat. If we could get a sick screenshot, it would look like the book was just kind of glued.

[Justin McElroy]

I broke my goddamn Deku tree.

[Travis McElroy]

Go to the doctor, McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

I broke my goddamn Deku tree.

[Griffin McElroy]

What a good book. It's so solid. It can break a goddamn Deku tree. Lego set.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm Travis McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Griffin McElroy. Damn this book.

[Travis McElroy]

Brother by Brother B.

[Justin McElroy]

Kiss your dad square on the L

[Audience/Chorus]

is better with you. My life, it's better. It's better with you. It's better My life, it's better. It's better with you. Cause it's true. It's better. It's better with two. It's better with you.

[Justin McElroy]

Maximum fun.

[Griffin McElroy]

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