MBMBaM 805: The Most Forbidden Fritos

Summary

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MBMBaM 805: The Most Forbidden Fritos

Podcast: My Brother, My Brother and Me
Hosts: Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy
Date: March 16, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this characteristically chaotic and sharply funny episode, the McElroy brothers tackle wild celebrity interviews, public transit etiquette, janitorial psychology, the animal logic of “The Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly,” and most notably, they perform an exhaustive, nearly reverent rundown of Taco Bell’s 2026 shock-and-awe menu reveal. It’s a classic installment of absurdist advice, sibling bickering, pop culture riffing, and passionate food commentary.

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Main Segment Summaries & Highlights

1. Timothée Chalamet, Vaudeville, and the Lifecycle of Art Forms

[01:28–08:39]

• Chalamet's Comments: Griffin opens by regretfully joking about not guiding Timothée Chalamet through a PR debacle (“I apologize for the sullying of Wonka” – 01:28). The brothers riff on a viral clip where Chalamet bashes opera and ballet, and the missed opportunity for Matt McConaughey to turn it into a teachable moment.
• Old Art Forms: Justin muses about the death of vaudeville:

  “Do you think…someone was, like, in the middle of a vaudeville show and…stood up, like ‘Guys, this is cooked.’” (05:59)

• Juggler Soft Bans: Recurring riff on how the hosts briefly, jokingly tried to make “juggling” uncool, comparing it to the harsher Chalamet take.
• Takeaway: Society phases out art forms without big declarations. If you want to critique a cultural thing, it's smarter to start small ("go after jugglers, not opera" – 05:01).

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2. Advice: Waking Up Strangers on Public Transit

[13:06–20:27]

• Listener Question: Should you wake up a stranger who’s sleeping on a train, worried they might miss their stop?
• Brothers’ Takes:
  • Travis: “There is nothing more precious to me than sleeping when I am able to.” (13:45)
  • Griffin: “You don't want to be the thief of that. You also don't want to go, ‘Wakey wakey, num time’ to a stranger.” (14:12)
• Solutions Proposed:
  • Vibrant scenarios about chain reactions and organic train-stop chaos.
  • Suggestions range from a subtle cough to a big fart, with much debate over acceptability.
  • Don’t touch, don’t try too hard; trust that most commuters know their own rhythms (“I'm an adult. I made it this far…without you, nanny stating me” – 19:58).
  • If they miss their stop, at least they get “a long, romantic nighttime train ride through the city.” (20:04)

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3. Advice: Seeing the World with ‘Janitor Eyes’

[21:08–24:14]

• Listener Question: How do you “turn off” the urge to compulsively clean everywhere after taking a janitorial job?
• Responses:
  • Justin gives the tongue-in-cheek suggestion: “Clean until people ask you to stop, politely.” (21:54)
  • Griffin acknowledges the mental relief of straightening up, but before interfering with other janitors’ territory, be careful not to disrupt their unseen system: “This is an ecosystem. It's all sustainable.” (23:30)
  • Extended, absurd ecosystem metaphor involving ants, rats, cats, dogs, and cows, all cleaning the mall in a chain of responsibilities.

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4. Classic Kids’ Lit, Escalation, and Swallowed Animals

[24:35–29:46]

• The Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly:
  • Griffin and Travis marvel at the story’s illogic: “You swallowed a dog to get a cat…then a goat to get the dog is so out of pocket.” (24:41)
  • Justin reads from historical newspaper accounts of live performances that left audiences “convulsed” in laughter at the song’s premise (“Old timey newspaper language is so vaguely threatening. He convulsed the children.” – 27:45)
  • Travis lampoons Victorian copy: “My blackout was so powerful, I was pronounced dead at the scene and buried alive till I rung a bell…”

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5. Munch Squad: Taco Bell’s “Live Más Live” Menu Reveal

[36:41–53:14]

This is the true centerpiece of the episode.

The Announcement ([37:09–40:45]):

• Justin declares: “Taco Bell blacked out in the booth, I’m going to tell you about the absolute wildest menu announcement in all of human history.” (37:09)
• Taco Bell announced 20 new menu items for 2026 at their “Live Más Live” event.
• Griffin describes the initial offering, the Flamin’ Hot Mini Taco Salad, as “the world’s most forbidden Fritos” (38:28)—dense with spicy chips and dust: “It's rimmed…with the Flamin’ Hot seasoning around the rim.” (39:01)

Highlights From the Spectacle ([40:05–53:14]):

• Diablo Dusted Chicken Nuggets
• Mountain Dew Baja Midnight (Zero Sugar): “The Vanilla Baja Midnight makes me go fucking crazy. It makes me go so fast.” (39:41–39:42)
• Permanent Nacho Fries & Flamin’ Hot Nacho Fries
• Cheesy G Sliders (“little Cheesy Gordita Crunch sliders…could have 15 of.” – 41:29)
  • Running joke: Taco Bell “hasn’t lost the plot, they’re writing Ulysses.” (48:04)
  • Griffin proclaims: “If they don’t bring cheesy GS out to the store, that will be my next Taco Bell meal. So it's the balls in your fucking court, Taco Bell.” (53:00)
  • Justin: “If they ever take cheesy cheese off the menu, I’m gonna divorce my wife.” (53:14)
• Dessert Innovations:
  • Baja Midnight Pie (“That’s some Wonderland ass looking shit right here. You’re getting that in Wonderland. You’re getting it in Neverland.” – 42:31)
  • Creme Brulee Crunchwrap Sliders (“one appears to be getting sucked up by some sort of brilliant white light…a desiccated husk” – 44:04)
  • Mexican Pizza Empanadas
• Strawberry & Cream “Pizza Bites” and existential questioning:
  • “Why is it called pizza? Circle? Is that what it’s saying?” (47:07)
• Fire Queso Sauce Edible Packet:
  • “The fire queso sauce packet is an edible sauce packet.” (47:49)
  • “Not a gusher. It‘s the world’s worst gusher.” (48:34, 48:36)
• Cool Ranch Doritos Chicken Nuggets, Firecracker Burrito (with cayenne Pop Rocks):
  • “Cayenne Pop Rocks. That’s what they’re doing over there, these scientists at Taco Bell.” (51:06)
• Salt & Straw Taco-latte Chiller, Strawberry Horchata Refresca
  • “Every fast food place is like, ‘and come to us for your morning Joe.’ That’s not what I use you for.” (52:08)

Meta-commentary and Audience Reaction:

• The brothers hysterically imagine employees having to unveil these items with WWE-level gravitas.
• If these are just PR stunts and not real products, they threaten an (obviously fake) Taco Bell boycott.

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6. Endgame Tangents: Throwing Objects, Ending Rituals

[56:13–57:42]

• Signature Bit: Debating what object to throw as their closing bit: “Throw the big boy. Throw a heater for the big boy.” (57:13)
• Justin, after throwing a Big Boy bank figurine, discovers mysterious dust.

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Notable Quotes

• “If you’re going to go after an art form, you gotta start smaller—like, jugglers.” – Griffin (05:01)
• “This show isn’t for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What’s up, you cool baby?” – Griffin (00:00)
• “I promise. You do. Okay, here's my thing, guys. I love one of [opera or ballet], and I fucking hate the other one, but I'll never say which one.” – Griffin (04:38)
• “I know what you are saying. Certainly there's some things to preserve, but I'm here to tell you, there's so much racism in vaudeville, we couldn't save it. Unredeemable.” – Justin (07:03)
• “There’s got to be janitors. …Go find a janitor and just janitor to janitor, be like, I was looking with my janitor eyes. And they’ll be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.” – Travis (22:49)
• “She swallowed a dog to get a cat…then a goat to get the dog is so out of fucking pocket.” – Griffin (24:41)
• “These fucking guys. …They take a Mexican pizza and then they put another fucking one on top of it. They double deckered it. I love it.” – Justin (42:50)
• “Not a gusher. It is the world’s worst gusher.” – Griffin (48:34)
• “If they ever take cheesy cheese off the menu, I'm gonna divorce my wife. Whoa. That's out.” – Justin (53:14)

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Key Timestamps

| Time | Segment | |--------|-------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:28 | Opening: Timothée Chalamet, Opera & Ballet | | 05:34 | The Death of Vaudeville & The “Juggler Ban” | | 13:06 | Advice: Waking Up Commuters on the Train | | 21:08 | Advice: Janitor Eyes & Compulsive Cleaning | | 24:35 | The Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly: Animal Chain Logic | | 36:41 | Munch Squad: Taco Bell’s Massive 2026 Menu Reveal Begins | | 38:28 | Flamin' Hot Mini Taco Salad – “Forbidden Fritos” | | 40:05 | Cheesy G Sliders and Cheesy Gordita Crunch Mania | | 42:31 | Baja Midnight Pie and the Wonderland of Taco Bell Desserts | | 47:49 | Edible Fire Queso Sauce Packet (“worst gusher”) | | 50:34 | Firecracker Burrito, Cayenne Pop Rocks, more Taco Bell Surrealism| | 53:00 | “Cheesy G” Boycotts, Taco Bell Ultimatum | | 56:26 | Finale: Big Boy Throw, Closing Rituals & Bickering |

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Episode Tone

• High-energy banter, sibling teasing, and surreal comedic logic.
• Obsessive, nearly scholarly fast food analysis.
• Playful irreverence about culture, food, and the futility of giving “advice.”

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Useful For

• Fans who missed the episode but want all the Taco Bell scoop and the McElroys’ latest riffs.
• Listeners who appreciate the intersection of nostalgia, food, and gentle mockery.
• Anyone wanting high-volume laughs, choice quotes, or actual advice (hidden in comedy).
• Context on Taco Bell’s 2026 menu for fast food trend-watchers.

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TL;DR:
The McElroys meditate on cancelled art forms and etiquette, gently roast Timothée Chalamet, outline “janitor vision,” analyze children’s literature for logic crimes, and lose their minds over Taco Bell’s gonzo 2026 menu innovations — especially those “forbidden Fritos.” If you’re here for Munch Squad, this is a must-listen.

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Transcript

[Griffin McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

[Theme Song Singer]

It's the start of something beautiful A

[Griffin McElroy]

small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into

[Theme Song Singer]

a precious friends I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life it feels like. It's better it's better with you My life ah, it's better it's better with you this is true it's better it's better with two.

[Justin McElroy]

Hello, everybody, and welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me. It's an advice show for the modern era. We're so happy to have you here.

[Travis McElroy]

What's up?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I'm. I'm the oldest brother out here, Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

Sorry, the rhythm got thrown off a little bit. Sorry. What's up, Trav nation? It's me, your middle is brother Travis. Big dog.

[Justin McElroy]

Wolf.

[Travis McElroy]

Wolf. Vroom, vroom. The heater McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

And I'm Griffin. Guys, I will admit to having taken my eye off the ball a bit for the book, for the stowaway out now at fine book retailers. I took my eye off the ball and so I can't help but blame myself for Tim Chalamet's entirely unnecessary, just absolute brand tanking. I know he kind of like relies on me a little bit for, like, advice on like, how to do a good job with your brand and stuff. And I wasn't there for him, I guess, when he needed me most. And so he has stepped in major doo doo. And I just. I apologize. I apologize for the sullying of Wonka.

[Travis McElroy]

He tried to drag McConaughey down with it too.

[Griffin McElroy]

He tried to. Did you see McConaughey that clip? Tim Chalamet's like, at least I'm not doing anything fucking boring and stupid like ballet or opera. And you see, you don't see Matt McConaughey. And as he, like, for that frame, he's just like a log in the background and then a log with a mask on. And then once that moment's passed, he's back. He's not trying to catch that shit.

[Travis McElroy]

No. For a man who like, embodies the spirit of all right, he's like, no, I can't.

[Griffin McElroy]

Now that would have ruled this would have been a great educational moment if he had said, nah, nah, Bronco. That was almost a good Matt McConaughey. And I gave myself.

[Justin McElroy]

He's like, you thought you.

[Griffin McElroy]

I like you.

[Justin McElroy]

You heard how good it was?

[Griffin McElroy]

I heard how good it was. Honestly freaked me out. Where he's like, nah, Bronco, listen, these are beautiful art forms and you need to apologize. If he had said, like, you're right, Matt McConaughey, that was hugely unnecessary. What was I saying? These are classical art forms that are still highly sought after artistic endeavors. And I'm. I am. I do apologize. All of a sudden, everybody's wild about his fucking ping pong movie again. But nope, we'd had no teaching moment.

[Travis McElroy]

He also made it sound like if his acting career were to go south and fail, he would accidentally end up doing ballet or opera.

[Justin McElroy]

Dude.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, it's all three of our backup plan, right, guys? If this podcast thing ever goes under, I can either sing high loud for long times or spin on my tippy, tippy, tippy toes. One of those will be my other job. Astronaut, ballet, or saying those are the three.

[Justin McElroy]

It probably won't come as a surprise to you guys. Sometimes the nuance of some of these situations escapes me on the social end of it. And I'd like to clarify something. This is for my own safety, is are we mad at Timothy for saying that opera and ballet are boring, or are we mad at Timothy for thinking that opera and ballet are boring?

[Griffin McElroy]

Tim is obviously allowed to think whatever he wants and ultimately I.

[Justin McElroy]

That's okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's okay. You can't Juice. And we'll say this. You can't get in trouble for not enjoying opera or ballet.

[Travis McElroy]

Everybody's allowed to not enjoy theater.

[Griffin McElroy]

I promise.

[Justin McElroy]

You do. I promise.

[Griffin McElroy]

I promise. You do. Okay, here's my thing, guys. I love one of those and I fucking hate the other one, but I'll never say which one because I'm not a fucking joker like Tim Chalamette. I wasn't there for him when he needed me to say no, cousin, don't.

[Travis McElroy]

Unprompted.

[Justin McElroy]

Too unprompted and stressed.

[Travis McElroy]

It's not like the interviewer was like, hey, do you think opera and ballet are boring?

[Justin McElroy]

Yes or no?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. No. Because he wouldn't set him up like that. If you're going to go after an art form, you got to start smaller with, like, jugglers. You guys see how much we do juggler shit?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. And do. Are you circling back around for jugglers?

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm just saying the corpse we Had a pretty fucking good grift going there for a while where the three of us determined, apropos of nothing, actually juggling's kind of played. And we didn't get anything because we slow rolled into it. We didn't just say, like, no one's allowed to juggle anymore. Like, that would have set off alarm bells. And also.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, okay, I have. I have a legitimate question, and it is completely separate from the Timothee Chalamet conversation. So if you try to draw parallels, I don't even want to hear about it.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Change your light. Can you change your lighting in your room to, like, designate that this is, like, happening? I've actually lost control.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, did you get in this dramatic look? Yeah, I'm in there. And. Yeah, right.

[Travis McElroy]

Metaphorical, huh?

[Justin McElroy]

Sheesh.

[Travis McElroy]

Both.

[Justin McElroy]

Dude, you know how vaudeville used to be, like, huge? And actually, the way that we say someone, do you think that that started with, like, one person was, like, in the middle of a vaudeville show, and maybe they had, like, heard about movies or they saw a movie yesterday and they, like, middle of vaudeville, stood up, were like, guys, this is cooked.

[Travis McElroy]

It's done. I'm done with this.

[Justin McElroy]

This is so played. This is cooked. Or do you think it was the person doing it looked out at the audience, and everyone in the audience is like, this sucks.

[Travis McElroy]

The person on stage is like, guys,

[Justin McElroy]

I have an announcement to make.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

You may be thinking by yourself that this is boring, but everybody else is, and I'm gonna stop doing it.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is the end of. No one wants our dance sketches or magic anymore.

[Travis McElroy]

It's time for the incredibly appropriate giant hook to pull me or pull me away for the final time, toss my

[Griffin McElroy]

dead body down the Adirondacks.

[Justin McElroy]

I know what you are saying. Certainly there's some things to preserve, but I'm here to tell you, there's so much racism in vaudeville, we couldn't save it. Unredeemable.

[Travis McElroy]

We're gonna turn all these old theaters into movie theaters now.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, it's. We're just the whole. We're done. We're done with it. The people that are best at it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

One, you can be in movies. Two, never talk about the racism thing ever again, please. Movies are completely different. Ignore the jazz.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's so different, you guys.

[Travis McElroy]

So different. There's never any racism in movies.

[Justin McElroy]

Never any racism. It's not like in vaudeville. Please, you guys can't keep doing this. That's completely separate from a conversation about opera and ballet, which are foundational art forms that have gone on to Inspire many other art forms. And if you're saying I'm trying to draw a parallel, you're wrong.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, listen, I'm going to do this as a public service for other actors and stuff who find themselves in this position where they need a poll of, like, I don't want to end up being. I think you can safely reference the Blue Man Group. Like, I don't. I would hate for Mike. What?

[Justin McElroy]

They're cool as hell, man. I'm not going to.

[Griffin McElroy]

They're cool. They bang.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. I don't want to. Like, they already did them in the Arrested Development to Trav. So the ground. Right.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think Travis was just soft launching his, like, now it's time to razz the Blue Man Group. And I don't think that's one. I don't think that's the organic next step from jugglers. I think we would need to move on to.

[Justin McElroy]

People are still juggling. They did not get the message.

[Travis McElroy]

That's true. Maybe more than ever.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Not as many, though.

[Justin McElroy]

That has to be true.

[Travis McElroy]

No, it's fewer people juggling. More.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, sure. More pins and balls.

[Justin McElroy]

The biggest nightmare. The scariest thing with juggling is the number of balls. So maybe they shot to, like, 12 or 13 and somebody was like, that's eight. It. That's the peak. We can't do any more than this. That's the. That's the limit of, like, juggling technology.

[Griffin McElroy]

You think it's nine. What's the record number of little hacky sack level balls? Don't look it up. Travis.

[Justin McElroy]

Number.

[Griffin McElroy]

Don't you.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm not looking it up.

[Justin McElroy]

Like, number of. Number of things juggled at once. That's the number. Right?

[Griffin McElroy]

Number of things juggled.

[Justin McElroy]

Juggle that once. Number of things juggled at once. All right, let's don't Google it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, Well, I guess we'll all guess, and then I'll Google the answer.

[Justin McElroy]

This is our new segment. Don't Google it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay. We're going to say it on three.

[Justin McElroy]

No, no, no. The three. Yeah. Take a second.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. Try to remember the question because what? I've been vamping.

[Griffin McElroy]

No balloons either. Balloons doesn't count because balloons you can, like, hit really hard, and then they stay up for a longer time.

[Justin McElroy]

So what is the question? While I was vamping. I forgot it.

[Griffin McElroy]

The largest number of uniform solid objects with normal wind resistance kept aloft by a juggler for, let's say, two full rotations of it. I think would like. If anybody can throw.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't want to throw it with a standard.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm not throwing 28 things in the air and then be like, 28 in the air. I'm the world's greatest juggler. No, you need to get a few rounds through.

[Justin McElroy]

Trav, I like your count idea. Let's do the count. We'll all say number.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay?

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, so we're gonna do 1, 2, 3, go, right?

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

1, 2, 3, go.

[Griffin McElroy]

14, 6, 12, 14, and 26. I like my spot right in the middle. I'm feeling actually pretty good.

[Justin McElroy]

All right, all right. Let's Google it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Number of. Let's see. 33 consecutive catches, but he's got so 11 balls. He made the most catches with 11 and 13 balls. Um. God, I think 13. Shit. Guys, it might be 13.

[Travis McElroy]

How is someone not beat that?

[Griffin McElroy]

No. My boy, Alex Baron. 14 beanbags, 14 catches. What's up? I got it right on the fucking money. I know these guys. I know what they're capable of, and they do not scare me. They don't scare me anymore.

[Justin McElroy]

Do you hear that? Jugglers. We know the whole thing. The whole fucking thing. We know your whole fucking thing. We get it. You're not gonna sneak back in and be like, what about the 14?

[Griffin McElroy]

No. Uh, uh, uh. Nuh. I seen you doing it.

[Justin McElroy]

I thought Uncle Vaudeville pulled up in the truck. Uncle Vaudeville pulled up in the truck. He said, get in, juggling. We're going to heaven.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm telling you. I look at what you guys did, and I was like, 14 is the max, and I can imagine it. So you don't even need to bother doing it.

[Travis McElroy]

He was tracking the pathways of everything. And Griffin said, that's max capacity.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's max. You can do that. More than that. Bang, bang.

[Travis McElroy]

They're bumping into each other. They're not doing it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, but do hit me up. I don't know why my camera's out of focus. I got to do hit me up. If we ever get that number up to 15, Alex Baron, we're all rooting for you. 15? 15 balls. 15 jugs? Are you kidding? That would be sick.

[Justin McElroy]

Dude, you're making me Wish I had 15 hands.

[Griffin McElroy]

Or, wait, 31 for each ball and jug.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, and then another 30 to clap for myself. 60 hands.

[Justin McElroy]

The greatest fear I have with AI is that it becomes so impressive that someday my daughters are impressed by the sight of a human being juggling. Yeah, that's. That's the real terrifying scenario. If it goes all the way back around where they're like, now that's something you don't see. Every day. Because they did so many incredible computer movies.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Damn it. Damn these computer movies.

[Justin McElroy]

This is an advice show. We help people, we say, hey, sometimes

[Griffin McElroy]

we drop the fucking ball. I can't fix Tim's whole deal.

[Justin McElroy]

I live in the dmv. I know what you're thinking.

[Theme Song Singer]

Cool.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, like that Tom Hanks movie.

[Travis McElroy]

Or like the Mixed up files and Mrs. Basically Frankenweiler. Except the seventh.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, but way more low stakes, way more bureaucratic.

[Justin McElroy]

I think this is. Is it the Dallas Metro?

[Griffin McElroy]

No, my boy, it's dc, Maryland and Virginia.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

I live in the dv.

[Justin McElroy]

I live in the DMV and frequently take the metro to grab. I should have. If I had gotten a metro, I would have known.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, probably.

[Travis McElroy]

You know, here in Ohio, it's the bmv. The Bureau of Motor Vehicles. We get it, guys. You're weird, you're quirky.

[Justin McElroy]

I live on the plum other side of town, so my total trip is often over an hour. Sometimes I will watch someone who looks like they're going to from work just fall asleep. My question is, should I wake them up? I would be mortified if I slept past my stop. So I want to help out. But I also know lots of people have ways to alert wake them at a specific stop. That's from dumbfounded in the dmv.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't take the public transit, living in Cincinnati and more than that, working at home. But we do travel a lot for tours and stuff. And sometimes if it's a plane with a meal and my seatmate has fallen asleep, I do often think like, do I need to wake them up, let them know the meal's there? And then I remember that there is nothing more precious to me than sleeping when I am able to.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right. You don't wanna be the thief of that. You also don't want to to a stranger go, hey, hey, hey. Time for num noms. Wakey wakey num time.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, Lil Birdie.

[Justin McElroy]

How the fuck would you decide when to wake this person? That is the thing to me.

[Griffin McElroy]

How would you know they're stuck?

[Justin McElroy]

That's the X I can't solve for, Right? Like the instant they doze, they may just be meditating. So you have to give them a full 20 minutes.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, right.

[Justin McElroy]

So at that point, how are you?

[Griffin McElroy]

Minimum, Minimum. It takes me 40 to bust these days.

[Travis McElroy]

I think we could deductive reasoning a little bit because it's not the next stop, right? They wouldn't have fallen asleep if they're getting off at the next stop if they were Asleep.

[Griffin McElroy]

What if they were asleep when you boarded the train? They've been on there for God knows how long. Then it's for all you.

[Travis McElroy]

Then it's beyond somebody else, somebody else's responsibility now.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's a fucking collateral situation. Maybe they have passed away and they've been on the train for a long time and no one knows it.

[Travis McElroy]

Then it doesn't matter. Then it doesn't matter. They're going to miss their stop no matter what.

[Griffin McElroy]

Griffin. I guess so. Or maybe they've reached their final.

[Travis McElroy]

Their final destination.

[Griffin McElroy]

Heaven.

[Justin McElroy]

You know, at the end of every train loop when it gets to the end and they just like do a ue. Go back the other way.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

If they were like, we're about to do the ue, that would be. Yeah, I think that's a fair time to wake somebody up.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, man, when you're on the train, when it flips shitties, you're not staying put in your seat. That is the centrifugal force of that act of a. Of a train doing a hairpin U turn. That'll. That'll absolutely put you down on the floor. So that will solve the problem ultimately

[Travis McElroy]

also, I assume organic material cannot survive whatever that process is. Right? How does that even ha. It goes in, it condenses down to a molecular level, goes through some kind of like, tube, and then gets re expanded back out. I can't explain it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Nah, man. They go on one of those turntables like in Thomas and Friends.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, shit.

[Griffin McElroy]

Really big. Yeah, you got.

[Travis McElroy]

They're on the ones and twos mixing it up.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, they don't do that. Although I bet they could. That theme song fucking slaps. I feel like I've heard that theme song mashed up with like, hip hop tracks more than any other British kids television theme song that put me on the subway. Sorry. The metro. Flip me around on one of those turntables real fast. Get me all dizzy and stuff. That sounds kick ass to me.

[Travis McElroy]

You could do a loud cough.

[Griffin McElroy]

You could do a loud cough when

[Travis McElroy]

the stop's coming up.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just like a no man Covid. Kind of spoiled that whole idea now because that sets in too much panic for everyone.

[Justin McElroy]

Accidental wake up is the best I got. I think. That's not bad, Trav, though. Like, not a cough that's tough, but

[Travis McElroy]

like a wet willy.

[Justin McElroy]

A boo. Beatboxing drop.

[Travis McElroy]

A big textbook.

[Justin McElroy]

Big fart. Big fart, big fart. Rip.

[Griffin McElroy]

A huge.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, dude.

[Travis McElroy]

No, that's not what I said at all. I said textbook. None of the sounds in the words, a big loud.

[Griffin McElroy]

Travis.

[Travis McElroy]

It's like.

[Justin McElroy]

It's like a confined space. Yeah, that's so now juice. Were you thinking Travis?

[Griffin McElroy]

Travis, were you more thinking fart?

[Justin McElroy]

Dude, that sucks.

[Griffin McElroy]

Travis, were you more thinking it would be the sound of the fart that would wake them up or just how grody it smelled?

[Travis McElroy]

It's a one, two punch, I guess.

[Griffin McElroy]

So. You're tackling many senses all at the same time.

[Travis McElroy]

Like smelling salts.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can I hit you with this? Tap them on the shoulder, they wake up. Suddenly be like, hey, a pickpocket almost got you. But I got rid of them. I kept you safe and I protected you.

[Justin McElroy]

Or you could try to pick their pockets. One, they wake up. That's good for them.

[Griffin McElroy]

See, I had that thought.

[Justin McElroy]

I had that.

[Griffin McElroy]

If you touch them at all to wake them up. If you touch me and rouse me awake on the subway, my immediate thought is my, you've got my stuff now. You.

[Justin McElroy]

We're not telling you to touch anybody on this show. That's pretty much no.

[Griffin McElroy]

We would never ever say that for any reason. But this is why this idea in particular is a non starter. But if you did do it, you could say, I'm not pickpocketing you. Someone else tried to. Then they jumped out of the train, moving at full speed, but I say anyway. Is this you? Are you coming up?

[Travis McElroy]

Is this your wallet?

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, shoot. Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

I've made less strange assumptions when waking up from a nap, to be honest. Like, oh, it seems that someone has. Yeah, okay, I know what happened here.

[Travis McElroy]

As you're walking out the door at your stop, you're just gonna do a real, like, reach through the door, tap their shoulder. You're gone.

[Griffin McElroy]

No touching. Tap the window. There's other stuff you can tap.

[Justin McElroy]

Tap.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, tap their window. You've drawn a little heart in some fog. You've blown on the window and said. And you've written on it.

[Griffin McElroy]

You with your butt when you use a huge.

[Travis McElroy]

That's what I said, Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sorry, dude, I misunderstood.

[Travis McElroy]

You've written in the heart. You missed your stop. Love, Travis.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that works too, man. We've got a lot of good ideas.

[Travis McElroy]

You have to write it backwards, though, so they can read it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can you play your new mixtape pretty loud and say, hey, everyone, hit me up for my SoundCloud details. Here's my top single Stops coming up, Derek. And it's a special song I kind of will switch in the name. Kind of like those people who sing Happy Birthday on YouTube, but then they cover up their mouth in ADRN afterwards,

[Travis McElroy]

like, Melissa, this is where, in reverse, a sign would help if you're good. If, you know, like, I got 45 minutes on the metro before my stop. A little sign around your neck that says, set a timer on my phone. I know where my stop is.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, don't bother me. Cause I feel like if you're on the train with any regularity, like, you know, the rhythms it's in you.

[Travis McElroy]

You know what I mean?

[Justin McElroy]

Like, you know, you don't. I don't shut my eyes when I'm waiting on a flight if I don't have an alarm set. Right? Like, I got a plan.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm an adult.

[Justin McElroy]

I made it this far, this many years without you, nanny stating me, you

[Griffin McElroy]

know, guess what happens if they do miss their stop? They get to go on a long, romantic nighttime train ride through the city. Looking out the window at the street lamps through the raindrops on the glass. Just having a full my dinner with Andre kind of moment. That's. That's cool. That's huge. We don't get a lot of that stuff seeing plastic bag fly around in the city. You only get that kind of shit living here, you guys.

[Travis McElroy]

Justin, is that a trader's branded water bottle?

[Justin McElroy]

Well, Trav, I don't like to brag, but yes, it is.

[Travis McElroy]

That's sick as shit.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, dude. As a former employee of ciso, they tend to send me all the NBC Peacock branded. I don't get shit. Yeah, Peacock is technically the son of ciso. CISO son Peacock. That's true. So they do send me all of the great trader stuff.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, no, I bought it. I got my whole.

[Justin McElroy]

Bought it with a tank top for my wife. Six months ago, I started my job.

[Griffin McElroy]

I got a cool this is us lunchbox.

[Travis McElroy]

It says this is lunch on the side.

[Justin McElroy]

No, this is the Cape. The Cape. This is the cape from the Cape. The Cape.

[Travis McElroy]

Cape.

[Justin McElroy]

Deserve a cape. Six months ago, I started my job as a janitor at my local school. One of my janitorial duties is to look at things and see if they're dirty. And if things are dirty, I clean them.

[Travis McElroy]

Is that one of your janitorial duties?

[Griffin McElroy]

Or perhaps it describes probably a lot of them.

[Justin McElroy]

Probably. I've noticed that now. I look at everything this way, even when I'm not at work. How can I stop myself from looking at everything with my janitor eyes and feeling the need to clean all the time? That's from Clean Keeper in Kenosha. Oh, you could do what I do. Clean until people ask you to Stop politely. That's a strategy that I use if things are irritating me in the day to day world. I'll start straightening a little bit. And if people tell me to stop, then I do.

[Griffin McElroy]

And that's it. That's the end of the behavior. It's a pretty simple one to follow.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, just go and straighten it up. Just go and straighten it up.

[Travis McElroy]

I mean, just.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, and then it's straightened and you get a little break from it for a little while, don't you?

[Justin McElroy]

It may be harder when it's your job and you're not doing it for the love of the game. Cause that's me. You know what I mean? I'm just doing it to keep my brain chugging.

[Travis McElroy]

Have you ever thought about going pro?

[Justin McElroy]

Ah, Trav, that's the dream, isn't it? But I don't think I have the back for it. And honestly, I've only got one good wrist now.

[Travis McElroy]

And you need to watch a little movie called the Rookie Justin, about an elderly man who I think is a teacher, but turns out he's good at pitching.

[Justin McElroy]

That's the difference, though. I'm not good at pitching. I wasn't when I was young and I'm not now.

[Griffin McElroy]

This would be about a baseball player who realized he was maybe good at teaching now that his wrist didn't work as good anymore.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Which is a different film.

[Justin McElroy]

Good one.

[Griffin McElroy]

Still watching a good flick.

[Travis McElroy]

There's gotta be janitors. I mean, assuming you're not just talking about, like, at your house, like you're at the mall or whatever, go find a janitor and just janitor to janitor, be like, I was looking with my janitor eyes. And they'll be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, I noticed some spots. I've highlighted them here on this map to let you know where they are so you can, you know, go take care of janitor to janitor.

[Justin McElroy]

What if you straighten it up and you're, like, cleaning the spot, and then out of the corner of your periphery see another janitor?

[Griffin McElroy]

Like how that was.

[Justin McElroy]

Dare you? This is my life. This is my livelihood. This is how I put food. Are you coming back tomorrow to clean up that apple? Cause if not.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

You've done nothing systemic. It's a band Aid, you know?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

I have a cycle going. You've thrown off.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is an ecosystem. It's all sustainable.

[Justin McElroy]

If you pick that up now, what will the ants eat for lunch? I leave the food for the ants.

[Travis McElroy]

I have a plan.

[Justin McElroy]

The aardvarks the ants eat all the food, and then the rats move the food to their house. I don't have to clean up the food because the rats and the ants eat it.

[Travis McElroy]

We have a bargain.

[Griffin McElroy]

The cats eat the rats and their big bushy tails sweep the. Sweep the floors. It's a whole fucking system.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

The dogs. The dogs are chasing the cats. They have little sponges on their feet and they're cleaning the linoleum. It's a whole thing and you fucked it all up.

[Travis McElroy]

Now what do the cows do? I'm glad you asked. The cows chew up the weeds that grow in between the tiles inside the mall because I haven't done my job.

[Justin McElroy]

And the geese are the nannies that keep this whole jolly circus a moving.

[Travis McElroy]

I know you're tired of it. You're a goose now. Magic.

[Griffin McElroy]

I know that we have talked about the little lady who swallowed the fly a lot, probably on this show.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

It remains a wild one to me. When I, like, read. We have a book version of it that Gus wants to read sometimes. And like, I don't know, man. Why did you swallow. You swallowed a dog to get a cat. That's first of all kind of. That's kind of wild. Like, maybe. Sure, it may be a particular type of, like, wild dog and like a kind of nasty cat. Like, maybe he'll go after it and eat it. But then a goat to get the dog is, like, so out of fucking pocket. What is a goat going. Are goats famously unchill to dogs? Are they predators in the wild?

[Travis McElroy]

Especially once you swallowed all of them. They're going to team up in there. The enemy is my enemy. You know what I mean? Like, everything after.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cat's just bonkers. Cow for goat. Moo. I'm going to fucking kill you, goat.

[Travis McElroy]

They're friends, if anything. They went to college together. What do you.

[Griffin McElroy]

And then a horse to get cow is like, actually, those are out of order. Horse for goat that I get. I would totally send a horse in after a goat and then maybe a cow after a horse. But, like, a cow's bigger than a horse, so. What the fuck do you think, though? The horse isn't gonna do anything. But even if it was, are you

[Travis McElroy]

just talking about, like, mass? Because I think a horse is more powerful and taller.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know. All I know is that this lady swallowed a horse and she died, of course. But she made it through a whole cow. God damn, dude. Like, it's sad. And obviously, like, it's a.

[Travis McElroy]

It's not sad, Griffin. Well, I mean, she was a monster who ate a lot of animals alive. Presumptuously.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. And she had. She had an Icarus style downfall for sure. But like, props, props up. You got a lot of barnyard animals in there before you croaked. And that's pretty impressive and cool. And I want to make space and celebrate that.

[Justin McElroy]

I was looking it up because I was interested in the history. We don't know who wrote it, but this is. I really. This brought me a lot of joy. The earliest reference in the British newspaper archive to a song about a woman who swallowed a fly comes in an 1872 report in the era about a show called Britannia's Picture Gallery at the Polytechnic. A new comic extravaganza is here, sung by Mr. Buckland. Being the story of a Mrs. Somebody who might be anybody and whose doleful fate it was to swallow a fly. You won't believe what happens next.

[Griffin McElroy]

See, Tim, this is what we're trying to tell you, Tim, is that there's always been a moment where this person's getting stoked out of their mind for the little old lady who swallowed the fly because it's new to them and they're like, she swallowed a dog too.

[Justin McElroy]

This is fucking insane.

[Travis McElroy]

It's gotta in there, right?

[Justin McElroy]

There's no way. Something else. The Daily News in 1896 recounts how a Colonel Chatterton quote convulse the assembled infants and most of the grownups with an inimitable song about a lady who swallowed a fly. So funny was this song that the people could not. They were almost killed. They were on the floor laughing so hard at this incredible ballad.

[Travis McElroy]

Old timey newspaper language is so vaguely threatening.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

He convulsed the children.

[Justin McElroy]

What?

[Travis McElroy]

Jesus Christ.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sorry. Our first.

[Justin McElroy]

Our first evening. This is a quote from a performance of a show about the old lady who swallowed a fly. The hall was so packed that men were even perched on the window ledges. No audience could possibly have been more enthusiastic or shown their appreciation in greater degree. I'm sorry to not have that first program. Third Officer Phillips and several of the other officers sat in the front row of the restroom. Really the dressing room on concert nights. One of the officers recited. And I have never laughed so much as I did that night as he told us about a woman who swallowed a fly and then swallowed a cat to eat that fly in a ball. Oh, fucking. Okay, dude, I know you're excited, dude.

[Griffin McElroy]

You jumped like four animals there. I know you're stoked, but like, get it right. Holy shit.

[Travis McElroy]

There was a dog in There somewhere. Perhaps the dog was after the coat.

[Justin McElroy]

It's so hard, I can't remember it.

[Travis McElroy]

I passed out.

[Justin McElroy]

It's so funny.

[Travis McElroy]

For three hours, I laid on the floor of that theater unable to breathe.

[Justin McElroy]

I begged him to stop. I racked my brain. Surely there cannot be a bigger animal than the cow. I beg of you, summon up no elephant.

[Travis McElroy]

My blackout was so powerful, I was pronounced dead at the scene and buried alive till I rung a bell. And they dug me up. And when I got up, I said, oh, but what did she swallow next? And I went back to the show, only to pass out once more.

[Griffin McElroy]

What they don't tell you in that article because history is a racist fact is that they also did it. So they did have someone swallowing all that stuff on stage. And there was someone who did die on stage every single night, usually way before horse. Most didn't get past cat, If I'm being 100% honest. But that's what people were, like, into because of World War I had really kind of made things really kind of violent and scary.

[Travis McElroy]

Then in 1872, something like that. Just the fear of the upcoming world war, like they were planning, we've got a world war coming up. We're pretty freaked out. Somewhere they saw how fast and loose

[Griffin McElroy]

Archduke Franz Ferdinand was living, and they all knew, like, it's a coming.

[Travis McElroy]

He's made a lot of enemies, guys.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, Everybody's mad at this guy. Let's take a break. Let's go to the money side. Okay, cool.

[Theme Song Singer]

It's better. It's better with you.

[Justin McElroy]

That's me blasting off. And I'm blasting off to a future where my money is working for me rather than me working for my money.

[Travis McElroy]

Can I come with you? Is there room? Is there room in your space?

[Griffin McElroy]

I'd love to come in your money.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, Everybody can get on board. And while I'm in this rocket, I'm going to download an app called Rocket Money.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, they're separate financial. These are separate ideas.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wow.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just in a rocket and I'm downloading because when I get back from space, I would like to fix my finances up. So I am downloading an app called. That is, interestingly enough, titled Rocket Money.

[Travis McElroy]

That's very smart, Justin, because relatively, like, you will be moving at a different speed than the Earth. So you'll be gone for like a week, but, like, 60 years will pass and your debt will have piled the fuck up.

[Justin McElroy]

Rocket Money can look at your transaction history. I think that's right. And you'll also be taller. Rocket money can look at your transactions

[Griffin McElroy]

and your wiener will be a little bit longer.

[Justin McElroy]

They hate when you put that in the ads.

[Travis McElroy]

But a lot of it wider.

[Justin McElroy]

Sorry, guys. Listen. They like that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Rocket money has nothing to do with your wiener getting longer. This is purely talking about being on a rocket that you spent money.

[Justin McElroy]

Which also doesn't have anything to do with rocket money.

[Griffin McElroy]

Not even.

[Justin McElroy]

Not name an app. They can look at your transactions and say, hey, what about these subscriptions? Did you forget about these? Is this something we could maybe help you out with? And they will. Because you'll want them to. Because they've saved a lot of people a lot, a lot of money.

[Griffin McElroy]

We noticed you've just purchased a 15th juggling ball. Are you out of your goddamn mind?

[Justin McElroy]

No.

[Griffin McElroy]

Why are you wasting your money?

[Travis McElroy]

Aren't you aware of the risks?

[Griffin McElroy]

Don't you? That was money down the fucking toilet hole, dude.

[Justin McElroy]

Let rocket money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] MyBrother that's RocketMoney.com MyBrother RocketMoney.com MyBrother.

[Travis McElroy]

You know, Justin, when you return from space and six years has passed and it's only been a week for you, everyone you know and love will have aged, and so will your furniture. The stuff in your house will have crumbled to dust, and we'll all have cool future furniture. Now you will need to update your whole setup.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, Trav, that's true. Except you're wrong.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh.

[Justin McElroy]

Because. Yeah, sorry. Because I bought all my stuff at Wayfair, so it's very good, and it didn't fall apart when I was in space.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, wow. That was awesome.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, it was a good idea in our reverso.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, you really fucking flipped it on trap.

[Justin McElroy]

Dude.

[Griffin McElroy]

That was actually really cool.

[Travis McElroy]

I was gonna have you buy new stuff at Wayfair when you got back.

[Griffin McElroy]

No need. He's already there.

[Justin McElroy]

Step ahead in the imagination game. Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

Cool, man. I'll be outside the rocket, dying in the vacuum of space. I guess.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think Wayfair probably would rather us tell a story about someone who fixed their problems by shopping at Wayfair and not just saying, like, I have already shopped at Wayfair, so I'm good. They make great stuff.

[Justin McElroy]

I was an. I'm a role model. But I'm a role model in the end. I'm the. I'm the example that you guys are looking at.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, but they don't often. You don't see a lot of commercials where the Spokesperson pops up and goes, hey, you need to check out Wayfair. And the guy's like, I already did.

[Griffin McElroy]

And they're like, thank you so much. You don't see automobile. Automobile commercials are like, don't even worry about this one. You already have one of the old automobiles, and it's totally great.

[Travis McElroy]

I was going to tell you about how you should get a new one, but it looks like this one's holding together.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're doing fine. That's cool.

[Justin McElroy]

If you pull up to the car lot, they're like, you need a car. Well, how did you get here?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, we're actually not going to let you buy a new car because that's irresponsible. That car is in good condition, man. You got another five years on that, baby.

[Justin McElroy]

No problem.

[Griffin McElroy]

I redid this whole office and found a lot of furniture on Wayfair that fit my exact specifications, including this big, big ass credenza behind me. I needed it to be right in three different dimensions. And it was. And they got it here quick. And it looks great. There's so much stuff in my room. That's all Wayfair. And I couldn't be happier with it. It is where I go when I need some specific furniture. Because they're gonna get you.

[Justin McElroy]

I had an outdoor table I got from Wayfair. It's been sitting outside underneath the COVID Just popped it off for the season. Beautiful, beautiful gifts. Beauty ready to rock.

[Griffin McElroy]

Fantastic.

[Travis McElroy]

So find furniture, decor, and essentials that fit your unique style and budget. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R.com Wayfair Every style, every home, every time.

[Mark Gagliardi]

Hey, what's up, everybody? My name is Mark Gagliardi and I host. We got this with Mark and Hal on the Maximum Fun Network. Would you like to introduce yourself as well?

[Justin McElroy]

My name is Jesse and I am from Minneapolis, Minnesota.

[Mark Gagliardi]

Hi, Jesse from Minneapolis, Minnesota. Jesse, you are our Maximum Fun member of the month.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm so delighted to hear that I'm the member of the month. Thank you.

[Mark Gagliardi]

Is there a first episode that you remember?

[Justin McElroy]

The Pretzel Shape episode? Yeah, that's pretty classic.

[Mark Gagliardi]

Both of us just killed off each other's answers and went with Pretzel Rod, which is clearly not the best.

[Justin McElroy]

No, that is a terrible pretzel.

[Mark Gagliardi]

As our member of the month, you have a parking spot at Maximum Fun Headquarters, as well as a $25 gift card to the Maximum Fun store. We say at the end of the episode, we wouldn't do it without you. And we couldn't do without you. So thank you for that.

[Justin McElroy]

You're welcome.

[Mark Gagliardi]

Become a Max Fund member [e-mail] Join.

[Caller]

Hello.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hello, I'm calling on behalf of the

[Caller]

Beef and Dairy Network podcast. No, I'm sorry, no sales calls. Goodbye.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's a multi award winning podcast featuring

[Justin McElroy]

guests such as Ted Danson, Nick Offerman, Josie Long.

[Caller]

I don't know what a Josie Long is. And anyway, I'm about to take my mother into town to see Phantom of the Opera at last. You are wasting my time and even worse, my mother's time. She only has so much time left. She's 98 years old. She's only expected to live for another 20 or 30 years. Mother, get your shoes on. Yes, the orthopaedic ones. I don't want to have to carry you home again, do I?

[Justin McElroy]

Right, well, if you were looking for

[Caller]

a podcast, Mother, you're not wearing that, are you? It's very revealing. Mother, this is a musical theatre, not a Parisian bordello. Simply go to maximumfun.org I'm reaching for my Samsung Galaxy 4 as we speak. Mother. Mother, not that hat.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes. Oh, yes.

[Justin McElroy]

I want a Munch Squad. I want to Munch Squad. Welcome to Munch Squadrons podcast. This is the podcast profiling the latest and greatest brand, eating, Fucking get comfy, get comfortable, guys. Because Taco Bell blacked out in the booth, I'm going to tell you about the absolute wildest menu announcement in all of human history.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, my God.

[Justin McElroy]

I am going to try to not use the rest of this fucking show. But if it gets to a point where you're like, Justin, you're using the rest of the show, you got to stop me. Okay, okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

But if it's worth it, then I'm not going to stop you guys.

[Justin McElroy]

Other people aren't doing this. The game is different for Taco Bell. They're on a different level. They're having. They announced 20 new menu items for 2026 at Live Moss Live. Let me say first. 2027, Live Moss Live. Your boy Hoops is right here. I don't know who's there. That's not me.

[Travis McElroy]

They had a Bethesda style E3 announcement for new menu.

[Griffin McElroy]

I did not get the invite.

[Justin McElroy]

That I didn't get the invite. So 2027, it's fine. But just like next time, if not me, who?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Are you guys ready?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Don't look too closely at the screen. I'm about to show you because this is more of A cover image. And we are going to go item by item. Thank you so much to Snacklater for their diligent work in uploading all of these. These incredible images.

[Griffin McElroy]

I get all my images from Snackalator.

[Justin McElroy]

All right, first up.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wow.

[Justin McElroy]

I mean, it's just like the first thing is a salad. Not just any salad, but the Flamin Hot mini taco salad.

[Griffin McElroy]

Flamin Hot. So, guys, okay, so what we're looking at here, beautiful, crispy tortilla flowers, tiny tortilla flours stuffed with. Looks like beans and lettuce and some sort of cheese. But then also, I have other chips inside. Extremely, extremely spicy Fritos. It looks like the world's most forbidden Fritos on this thing.

[Travis McElroy]

It also looks like, frankly, trap that you would take a bite out of it and it's immediately all over.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's also, weirdly, not mouth. Not mouth shaped at all.

[Justin McElroy]

It's rimmed. It's rimmed.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

With the Flamin Hot seasoning around the rim of it. Okay, okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, yes, I see that.

[Justin McElroy]

Now we have Diablo dusted chicken nuggets. Now, no prizes for this one. They're spicy chicken nuggets with the Diablo dust on them.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Mountain Dew, Baja Midnight, zero sugar. Now, this is just a sort of thanks from me to you. I love the delicious flavor of Baja Blast. Love to see a new zero sugar Baja Blast. As somebody who's trying to cut down their sugar, I just want to say thanks. Not a joke here. Just awesome.

[Griffin McElroy]

Great flavor. But the Vanilla Baja Midnight makes me go fucking crazy.

[Justin McElroy]

It makes me go crazy this way.

[Griffin McElroy]

It makes me go so fast. And so it's good to have a no sugar one.

[Justin McElroy]

Say, bring me a Bitter Mountain Dew.

[Griffin McElroy]

All right. Bitter Mountain Dew, please.

[Justin McElroy]

Nacho fries now permanent.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, permanent, right.

[Justin McElroy]

That doesn't mean anything.

[Griffin McElroy]

Any nacho.

[Justin McElroy]

They don't say a limited time only. Nacho fries are here to stay. To prove it, we got new Flamin Hot nacho fries.

[Griffin McElroy]

So they're just making everything sort of way, way hotter.

[Justin McElroy]

It sounds like everything's not everything, but nacho fries are way, way per.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And way way hotter.

[Travis McElroy]

Some things are just less sweet, Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I guess. I guess that's true. Like Baja Midnight, zero sugar.

[Justin McElroy]

Next up, would you guys eat these? Would you guys eat Flamin Hot? No nacho fries. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

No way. Maybe if I was facing execution and I wanted to go out sort of on my own terms.

[Justin McElroy]

I love nacho fries so much, and I would start eating them too fast before the spice really hit, you know what I mean? I wouldn't be able to recover from that.

[Travis McElroy]

I simply have a weak little mouth

[Griffin McElroy]

that would get burned by a little weak mouth.

[Justin McElroy]

Milk Bar X Taco Bell birthday cake. Empanadas. Pretty good. Looks like they're pretty sweet. There's like sprinkles on the outside and sprinkles on the inside and a lot of cream.

[Griffin McElroy]

There is no sprinkles. There's no way if I crunch into one of these empanadas, there's gonna be sprinkles on the inside. This is fucking AI.

[Justin McElroy]

This is.

[Griffin McElroy]

This was. This was.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm also just going to go ahead and tell you.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, sorry, Griffin. What did you say, bud?

[Griffin McElroy]

Cheesy G. I just saw sliders, guys. These look like little chalupa double double cheese wrapped chalupas, but they're tiny. Oh, I want these little cheesy gordita Crunchy Crunch.

[Theme Song Singer]

Oh my God.

[Justin McElroy]

I just got what cheesy Cheese stands for.

[Travis McElroy]

It's also what we call Griffin off show.

[Griffin McElroy]

It stands for me, but it's. These are little cheesy gordita crunch sliders that I could have 15 of.

[Justin McElroy]

Dude, there's cheesy GS and you can have 15 cheesy GS no problem. Make out the 14 cheesy GS.

[Griffin McElroy]

I was just traveling, staying at a hotel, which is the only scenario where I could eat one of these because I would need my own kind of habitat for the time.

[Travis McElroy]

There's a comment on this where somebody commented starting to lose the plot. What plot were you following at Taco Bell? That made sense until now?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Not never a cogent. Sort of. They put Dorito dust on shit. Like, I guess it kind of makes sense now. They're putting Frito dust on shit.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I adore Cheesy GS. All I care about cheesy GS. This is my favorite menu item that we have.

[Travis McElroy]

Love their smooth jazz.

[Griffin McElroy]

I can't. I. Jesus God, I'm so uncomfortable wanting Baja Midnight Pie. What's the sugar situation on this?

[Travis McElroy]

I could tell you right now. That's some wonderland ass looking shit right here. You're getting that in Wonderland. You're getting it in Neverland.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, this is not a pale color. You gotta believe in the pan to see this guy for sure.

[Griffin McElroy]

It looks like the Cheshire cat's face is gonna appear on it.

[Travis McElroy]

It's not real.

[Justin McElroy]

These fucking guys. These fucking guys with this. Look what they've done. You see it, right? They take a Mexican pizza and Then they put another fucking one on top of it. They double deckered it. I love it. They double decker it with a Cantina chicken Mexican pizza with jalapeno citrus salsa.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, guys, I said it. Cantina chicken Mexican pizza with jalapeno citrus salsa.

[Griffin McElroy]

And it's got a sprinkle, a drizzle of red cabbage, which fucking. I can't remember any fast food establishment ever serving up in their menu to any. Seeing red cabbage in this fast food menu is like, takes my breath away a little bit.

[Travis McElroy]

The color palette is exquisite. A lot of looking at the composition.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. A lot of. Between the red cabbage and the Baja midnight, it's purple cone.

[Justin McElroy]

I would eat the hell out of this.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Right now.

[Travis McElroy]

Am I hungry now?

[Justin McElroy]

Get ready. Let's see what's next. I have no idea.

[Theme Song Singer]

Oh.

[Griffin McElroy]

Creme Brulee Crunchwrap slider. Interesting. I don't know if the image here is overexposed, but one of these sliders appears to be getting sucked up by some sort of brilliant white light. Like there's two beautiful caramelized beauties in the background and then one sort of desiccated husk of a cranberry lay concert.

[Travis McElroy]

There were two brothers on an island. You see, Griffin, one of the brothers was good, but one of them was a creme brulee Crunchlight slider, who also happened to be evil and controlled the smoke monster.

[Justin McElroy]

I want you guys to know that restaurantbusinessonline.com said that the creme brulee Crunchwrap slider was the best thing they've tasted all year. Now that's pretty high praise. It's a dessert crunch wrap with a vanilla filling and a caramelized cinnamon sugar crust. I can't even like. I can't.

[Griffin McElroy]

It seems like a lot.

[Justin McElroy]

It seems like it would be the best. You're right, Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Pair it with my cheesy G sliders.

[Justin McElroy]

Slide me right.

[Griffin McElroy]

Slide me right home.

[Justin McElroy]

A double decker pizza pie. You know, I don't know.

[Travis McElroy]

It's gonna save you a lot of time on bathroom trips for the next three days, which is nice.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Cause you'll live there. Mexican pizza empanadas. Now these.

[Justin McElroy]

Now that's a Mexican pizza that they put in an empanada, guys. That's pretty good.

[Griffin McElroy]

That is.

[Justin McElroy]

That's a pretty good idea, honestly.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. They can definitely call it what they want it.

[Justin McElroy]

That is that really the way they

[Griffin McElroy]

have cross sectioned this pizza empanada does give it huge pizza roll vibes.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, indeed.

[Griffin McElroy]

Huge pizza.

[Travis McElroy]

But I'm looking right here. Six pack for $6 in this economy,

[Griffin McElroy]

I would never say. I would never say that empanadas are a riff, are a fun play on a pizza roll. But when you do stuff em with pizza, it does begin to take on the loose shape of a totino's pizza roll.

[Justin McElroy]

It is like. But it's also like we. They invented the pizza. And then Taco Bell said, well, wait a second, we could do that. Like we'll do that in our funky way. We'll do our funky fresh take on it. And now they've taken the pizza and they've put it back into. The snake is eating its own tail, you see, because the pizza has gone all the way back out to the moon like the Martian, right? Mexican pizza went all the way out there. And it's like, I'll come back. Now I'm back as an empanada. What have we learned? How have you changed in this journey? Cause you're back where you started.

[Travis McElroy]

If anything, it's changed us. You know what I mean?

[Griffin McElroy]

It's true. Hey, one of these, your first bite into it is gonna turn it inside of your mouth like one of the bad guys from Indiana Jones. When they open up the ark of the coven. These will absolutely fucking blister your whole situation there.

[Travis McElroy]

Somehow this has burn in on my monitor. No matter how quickly you eat them, the last one will be freezing cold. There is no consistency of heat throughout your eating journey. Oh my God. Look at these little guys.

[Griffin McElroy]

Strawberry and cream mix.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, hold on. Yeah, I gotta expand the side. This is a taller one. They're going for some good strawberries and cream. Mexican pizza bites.

[Travis McElroy]

They're like tripling down on Taco Bell. Dessert options.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

In a way that's boggling my mind.

[Griffin McElroy]

They're also just playing with form. It's like this time we're all about littles and we're all about stack ems. We've got littles and stack ems.

[Justin McElroy]

What's pizza doing in there? The word pizza, what is it doing in there for us?

[Griffin McElroy]

Strawberries.

[Travis McElroy]

Sure.

[Griffin McElroy]

Circle.

[Justin McElroy]

Is that what it's saying? It's round? Cause they have other round things.

[Griffin McElroy]

They could have just called it strawberry

[Justin McElroy]

and cream bite because that's what it is. Round with on top is kind of what they mean.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait this. Didn't it already, Sis, hold on.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, no, no, no.

[Justin McElroy]

Dude. Dude, fucking look at it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Examine the image of the fire. Queso sake, think for a second. About what?

[Justin McElroy]

Think for a second about what you're seeing.

[Travis McElroy]

Is it. Hold on.

[Justin McElroy]

Your brain for a second, Travis, your brain isn't going to let you see it. And then you will be able to understand what you're.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's a razzle dazzle situ. Like you aren't able to hone in on what is happening in this image. That is so sinister.

[Travis McElroy]

This is an optical illusion.

[Justin McElroy]

No, Travis, it's exactly what it looks like. The fire queso sauce packet is an edible sauce packet.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Fuck, dude, you goose that open.

[Justin McElroy]

Do you see what I'm saying, guys?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, dude, this is.

[Justin McElroy]

This is so. They haven't lost the plot. They're writing fucking Ulysses. They're gone.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's.

[Travis McElroy]

They didn't start to think about if they should. You know, they didn't.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do these come. Do these come in a little, like, special red box that says, like, this has super duper hot. This is not a pop it in your mouth situation, you lunatic. You need to split the seams of this thing and apply it to other foods. It is not a gusher. It is the world's worst gusher.

[Justin McElroy]

They give it to you on a big cardboard disc. It's the new Taco Bell Mexican cardboard pizza. It's perfect for serving.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's like a fried. It looks like a small, square empanada full of fire queso sauce.

[Travis McElroy]

It looks like a nightmare where you bite into a hash brown and it bleeds.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

No, it's happening again.

[Justin McElroy]

It looks like if I retired and I was 80 and I lived in a cabin in the woods. This is from Munch Squad. This is the image that you would need to bring to the woods to get me to come out. Like, I've seen everything. Yeah. One last thing. Okay, let's see. Let's. Yeah. Queso crack. Queso crack.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cantina Bowl.

[Justin McElroy]

Queso crack. Cantina Bowl.

[Travis McElroy]

It's my favorite D52 song.

[Justin McElroy]

Queso carnita.

[Griffin McElroy]

Ah, it's hard.

[Justin McElroy]

Come on.

[Griffin McElroy]

Carnitas bowl.

[Justin McElroy]

Queso cracked Carnita bowl, Cantina Bowl, Cool Ranch Doritos and Flamin Hot chicken nuggets. Yeah, I'll eat that.

[Mark Gagliardi]

20?

[Griffin McElroy]

Sure.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, I guess, like 32, 80.

[Griffin McElroy]

Cool ranch. Sorry. Okay, hold on. I thought they were selling Cool Ranch Doritos with Flamin Hot chicken nuggets, but these are saying there's Cool Ranch Doritos chicken nuggets. Okay, I got confused by the.

[Justin McElroy]

No, no, no.

[Griffin McElroy]

We needed an comma.

[Justin McElroy]

No. It's like you wrote in your dream journal. It's Cool Ranch chicken nuggets.

[Travis McElroy]

This image has also just reminded me that this was done in front of a live audience where a human being that worked for Taco Bell had to get up at a podium and announce these things with some buildup to it to the audience, which I hope would react appropriately.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, you know, they were losing their fucking minds, dude. Are they putting that dust back up on the hard shells, though? That's all I. That's genuinely all I care about.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, that's a really good question, actually. I don't know if it's got. If it's just seasoning or if they got some, like. I think there is. The breading has some, like, corn, like, tortilla, like, ground up chips.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't know.

[Justin McElroy]

Firecracker burrito is a red flour tortilla shell filled with seasoned rice, a nacho cheese sauce, seasoned beef fiesta tortilla strips, creamy chipotle sauce. This is where I'm always with them. And then they gotta lose me a little bit. With reduced fat sour cream. And then, yeah, a sprinkling of cayenne poppin crystals for a flavor and texture experience that is, quote, sure to surprise.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

Which is cayenne. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Poppin crisp.

[Travis McElroy]

Pop rocks.

[Griffin McElroy]

Pop rocks.

[Justin McElroy]

Cayenne pop rocks. That's what they're doing over there, these

[Travis McElroy]

scientists at Taco Bell.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. I've always had the thought, when I did pop rocks of like, I wish this had an even worse kind of, like, impact. I wish this hurt.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

I wish this hurt a little more. Yeah. Yeah. See if we got any more salt and straw. Taco latte chiller. I can't believe I got that through that on my first try.

[Justin McElroy]

Griffin, I was sitting here wondering if you were gonna get it, but you did.

[Griffin McElroy]

Salt and straw. It does look like it says taco late.

[Travis McElroy]

I think it's tacolate because taco latte would have two T's.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, that's right. Okay. All the flavor, all the flavors fans loved from the original taco latte. Taco latte. I don't know, Trev.

[Travis McElroy]

I think it's taco, like, you would say tacolate. It's okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Chocolate, an overnight sensation when it debuted in 2025, are now blended and served as a sippable chiller. So it's a chocolate chiller. It's the perfect evolution of salt and straw's take on the nostalgic ice cream. Taco.

[Griffin McElroy]

Whatever, dude. So successful. Every other.

[Justin McElroy]

Every fucking.

[Griffin McElroy]

Every fast food place is like, and come to us for your morning Joe. That's not what I use you for.

[Justin McElroy]

We got strawberry horchata refresca sure.

[Griffin McElroy]

Let's get to it.

[Justin McElroy]

Cold brew with purple horchata. Cold foam, purple, purple, more so there. That is the. Absolutely stunning. Stunning.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Earth shaking. Press release from Taco Bell. Like, the whole world is different now. Will any of these actually come out and be available here in Huntington? I don't know, man. Oh, God.

[Griffin McElroy]

If they only do, like, one store.

[Justin McElroy]

This is the thing. Because the pie has put such a bad taste in my mouth. Not that the pie itself would, because I can't get one, you know? Right. I don't want them to be. If this is all for the vine, leave me out. I'm a real fan. I want to consume all the products. Let me buy them.

[Travis McElroy]

Coward.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'll never eat at Taco Bell again. If they do not, the next time I eat at Taco Bell will be when I can order a Cheesy cheese slider.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, cheesy GS is for.

[Griffin McElroy]

Dude. If they don't bring cheesy GS out to the store, that will be my next Taco Bell meal. So it's the balls in your fucking court. Taco Bell. If you want me there, you're gonna actually need to put those cheesy cheese back on the menu, please. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And Griffin, I'm gonna say this right now. If they ever take cheesy cheese off the menu, I'm gonna divorce my wife. Whoa. That's out.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, you don't.

[Justin McElroy]

No, no, no, no, no, no. You heard me.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's just that you said that about nacho fries, and now that nacho fries are permanent, it feels like you're moving the gold.

[Justin McElroy]

But you hated that wife. Like, how sad would you guys have been if I hadn't dumped her?

[Travis McElroy]

That's true.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. But we love Sydney, like, a lot. And so I think just like, you

[Justin McElroy]

better buy fucking as many cheesy GS as you can. You better make.

[Griffin McElroy]

You hear that, Cheesy Jesus. Come on, Cheesy Jesus. You can get these back on the menu.

[Travis McElroy]

Save Justin's marriage.

[Griffin McElroy]

Save Justin's marriage. Cheesy Jesus with your wonderful little tacos.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you so much for listening to my brother. My brother and me. An advice show for the modern era. We hope you enjoyed yourself. Hope you learned something. Hope you grew. And I hope you're gonna buy enough tzgs to keep me married. Because the stakes are real.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Real, real high.

[Travis McElroy]

Now, we haven't been paid for that, so it'll be on each one of you that for every Cheesy G you buy, you mail us A dollar bill in the mail, right?

[Griffin McElroy]

That's a weird. That's a weird ask. But that's how we're doing that. That is how we're going to be doing the next Max Farm Drive.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, we got some new merch in the merch store. We got make it stick enamel pins and a bunch of other really cool stuff over there. 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to Border Angels, whose services include educational programs, water drops in the desert, day laborer outreach, Familias Reunite US Immigration bond fund program, and shelter aid support in Tijuana to help migrants and asylum seekers in need. All that [e-mail] thank you to Montane. Also for the Israelite theme song My Life Is Better with youh. Just my favorite track. My favorite track to move around my day to.

[Travis McElroy]

Don't forget to check us out on YouTube. Just search McElroy family. You'll find it. There's. We've got all kinds of different videos there as well as our livestreams that we do each week. We do one all together called Super McElroy Brothers on Tuesdays. And the last Tuesday of each month is the McElroy family clubhouse. And I believe Justin streams on Mondays playing some video games. I stream. Oh, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I started the Myst series. It was a lot of fun. You can go watch that on YouTube.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I'm doing Return of the Obra Dinna and Griffin's doing a trial by

[Griffin McElroy]

Fieri Redux Redo Majora's Mas. It's not a redo, It's a new experience. Majora's Mask Randomizer. It's crazy. It's on Fridays.

[Travis McElroy]

Is that now? It wouldn't be a sequel, A spinoff?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, it's kind of a sequel to Ocarina of Time. Are you talking about Majora's Mask or this new. Anyway, it couldn't matter less if you follow McElroy Entertainment System on Instagram. By the way, it will tell you when all of these things happen.

[Justin McElroy]

Also, I just want to remind everybody to get their copy of choose youe Own Adventure, the stowaway by Griffin McElroy. Buy it now and read it a bunch.

[Griffin McElroy]

10 bucks. Henry finally started reading it, guys.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, we did it.

[Griffin McElroy]

He's very into it. He waited until I was out of town to start, but it's finally. Things are really happening for me. I did the throw last time. I don't really have anything right nearby. That looks like a great option.

[Justin McElroy]

I actually have this screw.

[Griffin McElroy]

Screw's Too little. I need to be able to see.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, we need to feel.

[Justin McElroy]

You may throw the trader's bottle.

[Travis McElroy]

I got the little one, dude.

[Griffin McElroy]

Ooh, that's a big one. Are you sure?

[Justin McElroy]

No, actually I'm not gonna do it. Cause there's a bunch of stuff.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's like a bunch of. There's a bunch of stuff. You don't have a great spot to throw a metal water bottle.

[Travis McElroy]

I have a buc EE's hat that I can try to land on the microphone.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, that could be. Well, no, we need a pitch, Travis. That would be more of a frisbee toss.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, that's a Big boy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Is that a plaster frish's Big Boy?

[Justin McElroy]

No, he's plastic. Big Boy bank. He's. He's not going to be. Yeah, okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're sure he won't expose this big

[Justin McElroy]

by the way, guys, his face. Look. Look at the big boy. He's fine.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, do it.

[Griffin McElroy]

I just realizing this bit is going to escalate over the following year.

[Justin McElroy]

Doesn't have to. Doesn't have to.

[Travis McElroy]

Just throw the big boy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Throw the big boy. Throw a heater for the big boy.

[Justin McElroy]

Fuck that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Dude, that was an angry throw. You never see pitchers do that shit.

[Justin McElroy]

It left so much dust. Where'd that dust come from? Is that the chair from Big Boy? Oh my God. It's wood dust. It's everywhere. What's wrong with me?

[Travis McElroy]

Say your name.

[Griffin McElroy]

Say your name. Please set us free.

[Justin McElroy]

You can't.

[Griffin McElroy]

My name's Justin. My name's Justin MC.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm Travis McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Griffin McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

I can't.

[Griffin McElroy]

We're good.

[Justin McElroy]

Headphones off.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're good, baby. We got it. And wrap.

[Justin McElroy]

Kiss your dad. I'm Justin McElroy. Kiss your dad square on the lips one more time and I'll.

[Griffin McElroy]

You got it. I refuse to do it again. I'm. Stop wasting my time. We definitely got it perfect.

[Theme Song Singer]

It's better with you, my life. It's better. It's better with you. It's better my life, it's better it's better with you. Cuz it's who you are. It's better. It's better with you, my life.

[Justin McElroy]

Maximum fun.

[Griffin McElroy]

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