MBMBaM 820: More Baubles!

Summary

Podcast Summary: My Brother, My Brother and Me 820: More Baubles!

Release Date: June 29, 2026
Hosts: Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy

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Episode Overview

This episode finds the McElroy brothers in classic form: riffing on pop culture oddities, dissecting weird food promotions, and offering dubious yet heartfelt advice to their listeners. Entitled "More Baubles!", the theme of the episode weaves through the value and joy of small treasures -- metaphysical, edible, or literal. It's a joyful blend of nostalgia, goofy improvisation, and affectionate sibling banter, thoroughly on-brand for MBMBaM.

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Major Segments and Discussion Points

1. Award Envy and Adult Appreciation of Trophies

[01:17–03:13]

• Opens with Travis finally receiving his delayed Heater Award trophy, which leads to riffing about the longing for adult validation in the form of awards.
• Justin and Griffin joke about sending Travis every award they receive, including personal family ribbons and childhood plaques.
• Reflect on how, as kids, accolades seemed meaningless, but now, as adults, they'd be thrilled:

  "If I got a plaque now as an adult, I would flip." – Griffin [02:29]

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2. Shrek 5 Trailer “Audio Description” and Pop Culture Anxiety

[03:33–10:54]

• Justin live-describes the Shrek 5 trailer as Griffin and Travis encourage his color commentary.
• The brothers analyze the “turbo textures” and realism of the animation.
• Discuss generational attachment to Shrek, and cultural concerns around production costs and family-oriented viewing.
• Tangent about how Zendaya’s casting means big box office stakes:

  "Zendaya does not do shit for less than seven figures." – Justin [08:41]

• Playful existential questions:

  "Do we have a Shrek-forward household?" – Griffin [10:33]

• Anxiety over missing previous sequels, and whether that matters for the fifth installment.

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3. Austin Powers 4 Teases and 90s Nostalgia

[11:03–13:57]

• Discussion pivots to a viral Verizon ad featuring Austin Powers characters, with hope for a fourth movie.
• Long-running bit recalling the legacy casting of “number two,” and Rob Lowe’s uncanny transformation into older roles.
• Brief explainer recap of the Austin Powers/Dangerverse timeline for the uninitiated.

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4. Advice Segment 1: Donut Greed and Barter Economics

[15:00–22:36]

• Listener asks: How to maximize free donuts from a favorite local shop without seeming greedy?
• The brothers gently roast the letter writer:

  "If you say I'm trying to maximize the number of free things I can get, that is greed by any traditional definition." – Griffin [17:22]

• Dive into the ethics of tipping, capitalism, and whether you can “game” freebie systems.
• Suggest tongue-in-cheek ways to justify bounty (e.g., donate extras), but ultimately get sidetracked into revamping barter with “a pouch of treasure” or marbles:

  "Everyone should have a little pouch of treasure that they can give away to people who've gone above and beyond." – Justin [22:05]

• Exchanges on the risk/reward of carrying visible treasure, resulting in a swashbuckling scenario involving plumed hats and rapiers.

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5. Advice Segment 2: Escaping Facebook Marketplace Awkwardness

[25:53–33:10]

• Listener’s question: How to handle an awkward encounter where they overheard a stranger’s psychiatrist call while picking up an AC unit?
• The brothers riff on the inherent weirdness and ambiguous social contracts of Facebook Marketplace.
• Travis relates an emotional story about buying an air compressor and being cut a deal by a kindly retiree.
• Griffin muses on a state of pure “doing” with no “being” (getting out of the house unnoticed), leading to a Severance (TV) style bit about splitting your identity between tasks.

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6. Munch Squad Special: Jimmy John’s “Fetty [Wap] Wrap” and Little Caesars’ “Weberoni”

[42:13–68:21]

Jimmy John’s x Fetty Wap 1738 Wrap

• Reaction to the unintentionally hilarious Jimmy John’s collaboration with Fetty Wap:

  "This is the partnership that everybody's been waiting for." – Griffin [42:22]

• The most convoluted promotional meal name: 1738 Fetty W(ap) Meal.
• Live awkward commercial analysis (“Does this make me your rap queen?”).
• Exploration of how food brands overthink celebrity collaborations for brief, confusing offers:

  "Why roll out a commercial for a three day?" – Justin [50:14]

Little Caesars’ “Weberoni” Spider-Man Pizza

• Griffin’s personal review of the “Weberoni” pizza—touted as “webbed with pepperoni and cheese”—and the over-exertion of Spider-Man branding.
• Discussion of how promo copywriting for these collabs is unintentionally hilarious, with both the pizza and movie PR copy so generic and stilted:

  "It always sounds like the only people they're worried about reading these press releases are the other restaurants..." – Griffin [65:01]

• Griffin’s live report:

  “I don’t like when cheese tastes too much like cheese. And this cheese, folks, it has a cheesy flavor no one’s gonna enjoy.” – Griffin [67:28]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Adult Plaque Envy:
  “If I got a plaque now as an adult, I would flip.” – Griffin [02:29]

• On Shrek 5 casting:
  “Zendaya does not do shit for less than seven figures.” – Justin [08:41]

• Re: Maximizing free donuts:
  “If you say I'm trying to maximize the number of free things I can get, that is greed by any traditional definition.” – Griffin [17:22]

• Treasure System Proposal:
  "Everyone should have a little pouch of treasure that they can give away to people who've gone above and beyond." – Justin [22:05]

• On food brand collabs:
  “This is the partnership that everybody's been waiting for.” – Griffin [42:22]

• On the awkward Jimmy John's ad:
  “They kind of got to hang a lantern on it.” – Justin [48:25]

• On the Weberoni Pizza:
  “I don’t like when cheese tastes too much like cheese. And this cheese, folks, it has a cheesy flavor no one’s gonna enjoy.” – Griffin [67:28]

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Fun Bits & Running Gags

• Travis’s recaps about his time working at Jimmy John’s, including shaving with a rusty razor and his old manager Austin:

  “If I have to hear about you shaving with a rusty razor in Jimmy John’s bathroom one more time...” – Justin [55:24]

• Improv riffing on carrying “a pouch of treasure,” including contemplating the degree of “robability” when accessorized with sabers, rapiers, and plumed hats.

• The late-episode small spat and analysis about what constitutes a “very funny joke” among siblings (re: Weberoni as a 90s website name).

• Celebration and critique of over-the-top PR language for food collaborations, e.g., “pizza occasion” and “bold, adventurous spirit.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Love/hate of receiving awards, nostalgia (Plaques, Trophies): [01:17–03:13]
• Live Shrek 5 trailer description: [05:01–10:54]
• Austin Powers & nostalgia: [11:03–13:57]
• Donut maximizing advice, treasure theory: [15:00–22:36]
• Awkward Facebook Marketplace pickup: [25:53–33:10]
• Munch Squad: Jimmy John’s x Fetty Wap: [42:13–51:39]
• Munch Squad: Little Caesars Weberoni/Sony Spider-Man: [56:07–68:21]

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Tone & Style

The McElroys maintain their signature blend of affectionate bickering, absurdist improv, and meta-commentary on both pop culture excess and the nature of providing “advice” as non-experts. There’s a strong throughline of playful skewering, both of themselves and the bewildering logic of modern marketing and nostalgia-driven content.

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Summary Takeaway

"More Baubles!" is a quintessential MBMBaM episode: deeply silly, packed with bizarre food news, and ultimately threaded with a genuine affection for listeners, memories, and the little joys of adulthood (whether plaques, donuts, or sacks of treasure). Both longtime fans and new listeners will find a layered, laughter-heavy romp with surprisingly sharp pop culture commentary.

Transcript

[Justin McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Also, this show isn't for kids, which

[Justin McElroy]

I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

[Griffin McElroy]

It's the start of something beautiful A

[Justin McElroy]

small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into

[Griffin McElroy]

a precious friends I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life, it feels like. It's better it's better with you My

[Justin McElroy]

life,

[Griffin McElroy]

it's better it's better with you this is who you are it's better, it's better with two. Hello everybody. Welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me, an advice show from the Modin era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

What up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middle brother, Travis. Big dog. Wolf. Wolf. Vroom, vroom. The Heater award winning award. Having received it in the mail, Update only like six months later. Got it. McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

That is a beautiful trophy. Can you beauty blog that shit?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, it's beautiful. It really shows fingerprints.

[Justin McElroy]

We got that. Iheartradio really shows fingerprints.

[Griffin McElroy]

But yeah, Trav can't touch it to send it to us. Cause the fingerprinting would be.

[Justin McElroy]

Wipe that shit down. You can't have that in your background looking like a grubby kid.

[Travis McElroy]

I think it might be scuffed. No, that's a permanent scuff right there across the middle. That's how you know it's special.

[Griffin McElroy]

I just want to say to me, I wish we could win more awards. Because the idea of Travis shot getting more and more filled with awards as ours remains exactly static, I think is so appealing to me. There just aren't enough plaudits for.

[Justin McElroy]

We should start sending Travis every award we get, whether it's related to the podcast or not. My number one dad ribbon that my son named me.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's the last award you got? What was the last actual award?

[Justin McElroy]

When I feel like they.

[Griffin McElroy]

I just got them all the time when I was a kid, I didn't appreciate it. Plaques meant nothing to me as a child. I got plaques monthly as a kid, right? I have a stack of plaques, boxes of plaques. If I got a plaque now as an adult, I would flip.

[Travis McElroy]

Don't even start on trophies. If I wanted trophy, that's all you would hear about for the next two and a half years.

[Griffin McElroy]

Amanda sent us a medal once after a particularly rough episode of McElroy Family Clubhouse, and I was so excited.

[Justin McElroy]

A medal for me. Sarah and Amanda sent me. I got a hot dog statue one time when I beat a trial by Fieri. But, yeah, I guess you're right, Justin, to come back to the point you're making, we're not very competitively successful, and

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't want to. I display the rap gif from the movie I was cut from. Yeah, that's where I'm at on the Hollyweird Spectrum. But this is my brother. My brother, me travel. I wanted to say happy birthday, America. And happy. And the gift that we all got that, like, Shrek didn't have time to prepare much. But for America's birthday for the 250th, he did have one gift, and it is a new trailer that Griffin I'm hearing. You have not.

[Justin McElroy]

I've not watched. Yeah, I've been saving it. Sort of like the guy in Lost. It's like the last thing I want to. If the meteor's coming, it's like, now I can watch the Shrek 5 trailer. In my last moments with my family.

[Griffin McElroy]

Here's what I would like to try. Cause I've never. I think this would be fun. You know how, like, there are audio description tracks available for, like, viewers that might. Might need that assistance or, like, if

[Travis McElroy]

you're touring a museum describing a great work of art.

[Justin McElroy]

Right, Exactly.

[Griffin McElroy]

Grif, I was wondering, could you watch the trailer and then just like, as you're watching, just describe the whole thing as you're watching it. Just like, stream of.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, stream of.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like, just not even stream of conscious. Cause you're watching a trailer, so just like, not thinking about it. Just like saying what you're seeing.

[Justin McElroy]

You're.

[Griffin McElroy]

You are the audio description. Because, like, this is an audio medium. And I can't think of how else to translate the trailer into this podcast. And I feel like, well, I mean, screen share it.

[Justin McElroy]

We have the technology to screen share it.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't want to watch it with you. I just want to listen to you watch it.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, well, you know what I mean?

[Griffin McElroy]

Like, I guess we could watch it at the same time as you do, but I'd much rather hear your sort

[Justin McElroy]

of twisted and I just kind of freestyle jazz it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Not freestyle. Say what you see on the screen.

[Justin McElroy]

Say what I see on screen.

[Griffin McElroy]

Describe the whole trailer as you watch it.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, okay, here we go. Shrek music book. Book has an onion. I see Shrek. I see Donkey. They are Cartoons. And now. Wait.

[Griffin McElroy]

Griffin, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Can we start over?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

But I did it. I did. This is really good. No, this is all great. This is exactly what I wanted. The only thing I didn't get is, like, a really hard. Like, I need a sync point for people because they're gonna want to tie this together. And I think we might be able to release this on our channels. Fair use.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

If we have transformative. It's transformative.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because of the audio, too.

[Justin McElroy]

I need to say more opinions then.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's a 121 trailer.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like what? And so, like, we're just going to do three, two, one, play. And then we can. Like, so. So people can watch it or they

[Justin McElroy]

don't need to watch it. Cause I'm gonna describe everything that happens.

[Travis McElroy]

Right. There we go.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, So I don't want them to watch it at the same time as

[Griffin McElroy]

me, but I would like you to. I'd like to watch it long.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, you just said you didn't. You literally just said you didn't.

[Travis McElroy]

Not all together.

[Griffin McElroy]

I changed my mind.

[Travis McElroy]

We're gonna watch it together. Separately.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can the lady change her mind?

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, so now are you gonna screen share it?

[Travis McElroy]

No. You need to count.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm just watching it myself. Just like the listeners will be 121 of joy. Pleasure. 81 seconds of pleasure.

[Justin McElroy]

81 seconds of pleasure. Get ready to bust in three, two, one, play. That's that Shrek music I love. We're looking at an onion book, and it opens and it's got a story about Shrek. I see Shrek and Donkey. I see Donkey. I see a castle and Donkey and Shrek and a big fucking onion. They're doing donkeys.

[Griffin McElroy]

They look so realistic.

[Justin McElroy]

I see Donkey. He's doing. He just said badonkadonk in Eddie Murphy's voice. Shrek and Donkey's there. Shrek's kids are old now. They're riding on a broom. Shrek looks great.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

They just smacked gingerbread man's ass. He's got two big gumdrops, his butt cheeks.

[Travis McElroy]

Did they give Shrek wrinkles?

[Justin McElroy]

They gave him wrinkles. Cause he's a great Olaf joke. That's good. Shrek's back. Donkey's back. He said hell. So they're gonna cuss in this Shrek movie? Fuck yeah, dude. Fuck yeah, dude. Fuck yeah, dude. Yes. They put Shrek in jail. Good luck with that. No jail can hold Shrek and his big kids. I thought Shrek had three Kids. But I only see two kids here. Did one of the kids die in the last movie? Donkey singing. It's so funny. They look so good. All star. Now they're playing all stars. Zendaya's in it. They got Zendaya in it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, they had to put Zendaya in it.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Happy birthday, George Washington.

[Justin McElroy]

Happy birthday, George. You did it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Shrek Cellent. A Shrek cellent birthday to you, George.

[Justin McElroy]

A most Shrek cellent birthday to America.

[Travis McElroy]

And George, they sure did add a lot of shadows and textures, didn't they?

[Griffin McElroy]

Deeper than ever before.

[Justin McElroy]

You mentioned that the Internet was upset with the, I guess the density of these turbo textures that they've put on Shrek's flesh. Travis, you pointed out the wrinkles in that trailer. That's the kind of definition you don't get with the smooth, glossy shrek of the 2000s era. I like it. I like a remaster. I like a revamp. I don't love the ballooning cost of production in Hollywood. I'm worried about Shrek.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, they actually shot this on location.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. In his swamp.

[Travis McElroy]

In the swamp and far, far away. And I'm just worried.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm worried about the pressure that's gonna be on Shrek because this movie looks so expensive. Zendaya does not do shit for less than seven figures. And so I'm worried that the box office demands on Shrek will be too high. And I wanna know what I can do to. I wanna be of service to Shrek.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm worried about the family blogger aspect of it, where they're making content with their kids now. And that can cause a lot of issues in the family dynamics.

[Justin McElroy]

Can we be serious now? Because this role play you're doing, that Shrek is real and that this is a filmed movie is great and all I'm being vulnerable and expressing my emotions that I'm scared for Shrek and how much is going to be asked of him in this motion picture. Do you. You don't share those feelings?

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you not want to see? I worry that sometimes that just because I didn't see the third and fourth Shrek movies, I don't want to see the fifth one. And that is. That is something that does concern me about the fifth movie is do I maybe not want to see it because I did not want to see the third film?

[Justin McElroy]

What's that mean for you? What's that mean for us? I'm so blurry right now. I keep moving around so much because I'm so excited about God damn Shrek.

[Travis McElroy]

Justin, I'm pretty confident that they probably baked that in to the fifth one, knowing that, like, they can look at the numbers, right? I can't imagine 3 and 4 did numbers beyond 1 and 2.

[Justin McElroy]

That's what I'm saying.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right. But like, Shrek Forever after came out in 2010. That's before any of us had kids. Right? So this is the first Shrek that we're going to have to reckon with as parents. Like, we have to decide what this means for our family. Do we let Shrek in our house? Do we have a Shrek forward household?

[Travis McElroy]

You mean Shrek Pure, right? Because Puss in Boots, where he fights the Grim Reaper who's a wolf, is absolute cinema.

[Justin McElroy]

Absolutely the best shit ever. Can this be a sequel to that? Did they ever do that where they make a sequel to the mainline thing of the much, much, much, much, much, much, much better spinoff thing?

[Travis McElroy]

That would be incredible.

[Justin McElroy]

I mean, the pressure's on Mike, too, because if this fucking tanks, like 3 and 4, what's that mean for Austin? What's that mean for. What's that mean for the Love Guru?

[Griffin McElroy]

Let's bring this up.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes. Thank you, Justin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Talk about this. Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

Quick.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is from yesterday. This is breaking. Wait, this is breaking. This is not. Don't get too. Don't get too hyphy. But, like, do check it.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

There is a Verizon ad.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes. Right?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

I've gotten this many times.

[Justin McElroy]

I've seen the Verizon ad maybe busting.

[Griffin McElroy]

I've seen the Verizon ad. But here is the insta quote. Had a delightfully evil time getting this band back together. We'll have to do it again soon. We'll have to do it again soon, Michael.

[Justin McElroy]

Awesome.

[Griffin McElroy]

Will we.

[Justin McElroy]

Will we do it again soon?

[Griffin McElroy]

Because even if. Cause I'll tell you what, guys. Even if there's not currently a plan for AP4, that is in Hollywood lingo, that is very clearly Mike Myers.

[Travis McElroy]

Someone has a plan for it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just hiking up the skirt a little

[Travis McElroy]

bit saying, hey, big boy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, I think Austin may still be in here. There may be an AP4 script.

[Justin McElroy]

Me and the gang, I just like them going out.

[Griffin McElroy]

Don't track my Google Drive.

[Justin McElroy]

I like them going out to fucking Outback Steakhouse after wrapping this Verizon commercial featuring Dr. Evil and co and being like, you know what, guys? That felt good. Yeah, that felt good. Stepping into that bald man. We still got it. I think we got it, gang.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is the show.

[Justin McElroy]

This is the show.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is.

[Travis McElroy]

It's throwing me off how much Rob Lowe. I can't tell if number two there is Rob Lowe or the guy that played him originally. And then Rob Lowe played the younger version.

[Griffin McElroy]

God. Yeah. Rob Lowe did age into a perfect. Oh, God.

[Travis McElroy]

Who was that?

[Griffin McElroy]

Robert Forester. Is that. Who is.

[Travis McElroy]

It's just perfect casting. It's really throwing me.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, he's play.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, so he's young number two, according to a quick Google.

[Griffin McElroy]

Robert Wagner. Excuse me?

[Justin McElroy]

Robert Wagner.

[Travis McElroy]

He looks like.

[Griffin McElroy]

He looks a lot like Robert Wagner now.

[Justin McElroy]

He does. He does.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's kind of uncanny. Wow, that is uncanny.

[Justin McElroy]

And also, how fucked is it that Rob Lowe is playing young? Anyone? Rob Lowe is like a.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, it's not young. It was like normal number two was Rob Lowe. Robert Wagner was cast as old number two in relation to that. Because it was in the future.

[Justin McElroy]

You're right. Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Let me start back at the beginning. Austin Powers was a British secret intelligence agent that was frozen back in the 1960s.

[Travis McElroy]

Whoa.

[Griffin McElroy]

Because he was captured by Dr.

[Justin McElroy]

Evil. Yeah, I don't.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm sorry, Justin. It was because Dr. Evil cryogenically froze himself and launched himself into space to return. And they knew they would need Austin Powers to fight him when they came back. So they cryogenically froze him so that he would be there when Dr. Evil returned.

[Griffin McElroy]

Mike, we're ready.

[Justin McElroy]

Mike, we're so ready. We're chomping at the bit, please. Literally, for us.

[Travis McElroy]

We are chomping at the bit, please.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, yeah, the bit.

[Travis McElroy]

The bit is so chewy.

[Justin McElroy]

We're extracting every ounce of mojo from this bit as we possibly can. Oh, my God.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is an advice show. Like, we take your questions and we turn them alchemy, like, into wisdom. Here's the first one.

[Justin McElroy]

You gotta get this big picture of middle aged Seth Green off my monitor. No matter how old that man gets, I just. I will always see him just eating, offering me some pizza and watching some cool VHS tapes at his house and smoking weed.

[Griffin McElroy]

I would like to do that with Seth Green, if.

[Travis McElroy]

Seth Green. I'll always think of him from Idle Hands, but that's just me.

[Justin McElroy]

Idle Hands is a great one.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm. Leatherface will always pop in my head

[Justin McElroy]

when I see it, man. Idle Hands.

[Griffin McElroy]

What a bop, man. It's good. Oz, Oz, Oz.

[Justin McElroy]

Oz without a Paddle. Dax the Gang.

[Travis McElroy]

The other guy in there. Is it Dane Cook?

[Griffin McElroy]

It's not.

[Travis McElroy]

Dang Dane Cook.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sometimes I like to visit a local donut shop after work. For a sweet treat. I typically buy a couple donuts or cronuts before walking Home. Because it's all. Sorry.

[Justin McElroy]

It's Matthew Lillard. And without a paddle, it's Matthew Lillard. Thank you. Feel bad if we didn't.

[Griffin McElroy]

Friend of the show, Matthew Lillard.

[Travis McElroy]

My next song was Breckin Meyer, and I knew I was in Breckin Meyer. Loved it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Love to hang with Brecken because it's almost time for this. I don't know why. I don't know if I do or not. If he called. I'd like, definitely talk to Brecken.

[Justin McElroy]

The male loneliness epidemic has become severe enough that now I think all three of us, when we just hear of a. A dude we remember, we were like, I bet that's a Dane Cook. I bet that's a decent hang.

[Travis McElroy]

No, I actually, there's no amount of loneliness I could feel that would make me think Dane Cook is a cool hang.

[Griffin McElroy]

Shit. Hey, let's not. Dane's out here catching strays. Dane's trying to rebuild. They're not unnecessary. We don't. No, no, no. You know where I thought I felt this very, very primally recently? Cause I watched an episode of the. The Polygon series where they take celebrities to game stores and they had Kenan and Kel going through video games.

[Justin McElroy]

Shelf Quest. Shelf Quest is very good plug for Shelf Quest.

[Griffin McElroy]

Third heat to that hang. Please, guys, next time, please. All I need is just give me a day's notice. Like, hey, Justin, it's Keenan and. Or Kel.

[Justin McElroy]

We might get both.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, might get both. I'd love it. Just like, come get a hang on with us. We're going to, you know, Gamestop. I guess that's the best video game store in New York, if I had to guess. But sometimes I like to visit a local donut shop after work for a sweet treat. I typically buy a couple donuts or cronuts before walking home because it's almost time for the shop to close. They usually add a free donut or two with my purchase. Once they even gave me three extra donuts and several cronut holes. This was great. But it hasn't happened since Brothers. What can I do to maximize the number of free donuts I receive without coming across as too greedy? That's from counting donuts in Colorado. P.S. i always tip and make sure to thank them for their generosity. They're a fantastic local shop and I enjoy supporting their business. Okay, can I. I would like to clarify something just real quick. I. I'm not making a judgment, but if you say I'm trying to maximize the number of free things I can get. That is greed by any traditional definition.

[Justin McElroy]

Anyone?

[Griffin McElroy]

That is like textbook.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

So it's like you are definitely trying to see how much of something you can get without any sort of plan for need or consumption.

[Travis McElroy]

Right?

[Griffin McElroy]

So it's like that is greed, right?

[Justin McElroy]

That's kind of what it is.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's kind of what it is.

[Travis McElroy]

And if you say donuts, that's fine.

[Justin McElroy]

If you connect the thoughts, if you connect the thoughts of. I'm trying to get as many freebies as I can and I tip really generously. Now you've just kind of obfuscated the prime kind of capitalist sort of invention that we, that we're all kind of working on here, which is paying for goods and services. You just want to go about it now.

[Griffin McElroy]

If you're saying if, if this is like a corporate scene where it's like I'm not charging you for donuts, but if you want to tip me the

[Justin McElroy]

price of donuts, then I can dunk

[Griffin McElroy]

into my savings account and put it in there. You know what I'm saying?

[Travis McElroy]

It's a fantastic local shop and I don't know if anyone's ever said Dunkin Donuts. Oh yeah, my local, my local chapter.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sorry, there's definitely a paragraph too. Trev. I'm saying, totally cool. Love that setup. If you can turn corporate money into tips for workers, that's a great setup. Don't do that to your local donut shop, obviously.

[Travis McElroy]

But yeah, that is important here is I think that like if you went in to say buy half a dozen, no amount of free donuts should change the amount you're planning to buy. The free donuts is an at. Like if you said I'm gonna go in to get six, but I think I could get three free. So I'm only gonna buy three. No, not at all.

[Griffin McElroy]

It is hard. It's tough, Travis. Cause it's like it is for me. If I go in and buy two donuts and they give me three free donuts. There's this part of me, it's like, well, just take these back. You know what I mean? You're always just chucking away donuts.

[Travis McElroy]

This should be a, like you just want to see what's possible, right? This is not a scheme, right. You're just want to see the limits of generosity, right? Because also those day old donuts sounds like they're gonna get rid of em at the end of the day anyway.

[Justin McElroy]

It's trash anyway.

[Griffin McElroy]

So here's what you're gonna do. Here's you Go to the shop. You say, hey, listen, you're about to close. I'm about to buy a couple donuts. You love it? I love it. I want you to give me a box, and I want you to fill it with all of the free donuts you can. And I'm gonna take it to a shelter for people experiencing homelessness in the nearby area. Right. So then what is.

[Justin McElroy]

God, I hope that's the truth, though. It's true though, right?

[Griffin McElroy]

It has to be true, obviously, or

[Travis McElroy]

you're going to hell.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, right. You will go to hell forever. If it's not real, I'll make it and send you there.

[Justin McElroy]

Does this create a scenario where if you ever go in wanting donuts, you have to be pretty abundantly, explicitly clear, I would like a half dozen donuts. And these are me donuts. For me, for me. Only don't connect it in your mind that you're gonna give me extra donuts for charity because these are going inside of. Inside of me. So.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, what if they gave you two dozen to take? Ask for eight dozen donuts for charity.

[Griffin McElroy]

You can't ask for a number. That's the problem. If you ask for a number for charity, then that's a donation they're making. I would need you to say, scour the kitchen, open the fridge, find the donuts that you have. Cause I want to know how many free ones I can get off of you. This is. I'm just testing the limits.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, you don't want to put a thumb on the scale. I get it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, exactly. Because what if they had nine does?

[Travis McElroy]

Fuck, man. I didn't even think about that. I didn't even think about nine being bigger than eight.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, man, that's more.

[Justin McElroy]

That's more. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Fuck. Well, that's the most there could be though, right?

[Griffin McElroy]

You know why people forget about that so much is because 7, 8, 9.

[Travis McElroy]

Ah. Yeah. I didn't even think.

[Justin McElroy]

That's cool.

[Travis McElroy]

That's a great point. This is why I keep you aware.

[Justin McElroy]

You feel good about that?

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you feel.

[Justin McElroy]

How do you feel about that joke? And this is not a leading question.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is just not the point. Only describing it as a joke that soured it. If it was more just like a

[Justin McElroy]

thing that was said, a witticism.

[Griffin McElroy]

Not even that. Just like a sound. Just a sound that moved to the

[Justin McElroy]

next sound that you made.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's just a sound.

[Travis McElroy]

How do you feel about that series of sounds you made with your mouth?

[Griffin McElroy]

I stand behind it.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes, you should.

[Justin McElroy]

I think it would be good practice for Everyone to start carrying around little treasures that then next time you go to the donut shop and buy some donuts and you get the number of donuts that you paid for, you hand them a couple like really cool marbles or rods, trinkets or a pen shrinkage.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes, it's powerful.

[Justin McElroy]

So pebbling now I'm going above and beyond now. I'm showing you my gratitude through the. Through gifts.

[Travis McElroy]

It's a macro geocache is what it is.

[Griffin McElroy]

Mm.

[Justin McElroy]

Comes to you normalized treasure. Everyone should have a little pouch of treasure that they can go around and give away to people who've gone above and beyond.

[Travis McElroy]

I did not need to. Now are we reintroducing a barter system to the economy?

[Justin McElroy]

No. Because there's no goods and services being exchanged. This is you saying, no, you don't understand. There's a price on the menu for the eight donuts and you pay it and you get eight donuts.

[Griffin McElroy]

But.

[Justin McElroy]

But you really liked the hang, so you give them a couple cool looking marbles into like a rock you found.

[Griffin McElroy]

I was just like, I do not need a pouch of treasure hanging around my neck. I don't need to be more of a target than I already am. I'm already running around with a bunch of like video games in my pockets and the keys to my big beautiful Buick. I love the little goblin from golden. Yeah, like the little goblin from Golden Axe just like hit me until all my potions fall out. You know what I mean? I don't need baubles. Get a flute. Get his loot already. Man.

[Justin McElroy]

If everyone has baubles though, then it's not an issue.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you normalize?

[Justin McElroy]

Normalize their bobbles. I can't believe you said, I don't want a little sack of treasure. I wouldn't wear it around my neck. It would be at my hip. How bad, how badass would it be to have a little sack with you all the time?

[Travis McElroy]

And then when you travel, you can have one that straps your chest under your clothes.

[Griffin McElroy]

You must have. But I feel like you must have a saber or a rapier if you're going to travel with a pouch of treasure. You must have armaments by your side.

[Travis McElroy]

And if you have a saber or a rapier, then you must have a plumed hat.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, you're right.

[Griffin McElroy]

And of course your lantern to hold in your off hand in case you must duel in the dusk.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

It only makes sense.

[Justin McElroy]

If I saw someone on the street with a big pouch of jangly, jingly treasure. My mind would tell me that person's very robable. If they also had a cbier or rapier, I would say less robable. But then if you put a plumed hat on that, you're back to being pretty robable. That does take you definitely way back. More in the more robable.

[Travis McElroy]

I would say at that point, it's a coin toss of whether you're 100% robable or 0% robable, because you're the type of person carrying a savior on the rapier with a plumed hat. And maybe you can back that up. There's no way of knowing.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

If you're willing to take that shot or not. But it's 100% or it's 0%.

[Justin McElroy]

Bring back treasure.

[Griffin McElroy]

Just bring back treasure. More baubles.

[Justin McElroy]

More baubles, please.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you know how you know the Scarlet Pimpernel? I was just thinking about that recently. Scarlet Pimpernel. We're talking about sabers and stuff like that.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do you know what he did when we watched that musical? And I don't think I really clocked it as a kid, but when Aristocrats. When fancy people were about to get beheaded by the common folk, he rescued them from getting beheaded. That's not a very cool superhero.

[Travis McElroy]

I didn't think that was it.

[Justin McElroy]

Are you sure about that, James?

[Griffin McElroy]

That's his whole.

[Travis McElroy]

I thought he was rescuing the English from the French.

[Griffin McElroy]

He was rescuing French aristocrats from being beheaded at the guillotine. Guillotine.

[Travis McElroy]

Pardon me.

[Griffin McElroy]

And that's like a superhero, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

That sucks.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, you're right.

[Griffin McElroy]

What a dumb. What a dumb hero. What a dumb.

[Travis McElroy]

So you're telling me to call that saying in an angry voice about wanting to kill everybody and the brim stopped him. Was the good guy.

[Griffin McElroy]

He was the good guy because he wanted to get the. He wanted to behead the rich. So, like, hey, you know what I'm saying? And the Scarlet Pippen. I was like, don't worry, Philippe. I'll save you. And he goes and gets all his rich friends. And it's like, yeah, all my rich buddies. Don't worry about it. I'll come get you out. And then we'll go to what? Someplace else where we won't get beheaded? Fuck you.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

What a stupid thing to do. A whole book and a musical and everything about Bleh. I went to pick up an AC from Facebook Marketplace today, and I had to take the part in two trips. So I asked the seller if it'd be all right for me to come back in a Minute for the rest of the parts. As I had parked around the corner, they said, of course, I'll just be jumping into a meeting. I said I'd do my best to be quiet. Then when I came back two minutes later, they were in media res of a. Of a psych appointment, the psychiatrist discussing specifics of their diagnosis. So I quickly grabbed the rest of the parts, and I tried to get out as quickly as possible. But on the way out, I climbed the parts against absolutely every single obstacle in my path. I tried my best, but I'm fairly certain there was a better one.

[Justin McElroy]

There's so many better. There's so many better. So much better.

[Griffin McElroy]

We don't know a lot of them that are. We don't know a lot of questions anymore that are just like, hey, this

[Travis McElroy]

thing happened to me, but damn it.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, this is a cool one.

[Travis McElroy]

I have to imagine that you overheard, like, the psychiatrist.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's from Bungled Burches in Ballarato. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

That you overheard the psychiatrist say something like, derek, is there someone in your home picking up AC parts during your psychiatry appointment? This is what I was talking about.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is exactly.

[Travis McElroy]

This is exactly the problem, Derek.

[Griffin McElroy]

Or even worse.

[Justin McElroy]

Hold on.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's somebody picking up my AC unit. Sure, Derek.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm sure there is.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm not a very good psychiatrist. Have you guys done any Facebook Marketplace purchasing? Have you guys dipped into this world at all? I have recently purchased a couple of old TVs from the Facebook Marketplace, and it is always a heck of an experience. Cause why have someone held onto it for so long and now they're getting rid of it? There's never a good story. It's never a happy story, you know, and you're always kind of taken. You get to see a lot of interesting parts of Huntington. I never have had reason to venture to otherwise. But have you guys done any Marketplace?

[Travis McElroy]

I did this in la. Cause when Teresa and I lived there for two years, when we moved there, we had, like, no furniture. You know, we had to get everything while we were there. And it amazed me. Like, I would say of, like, the six items we bought from six different people, five out of those. The vibe was like, I don't know, man. This. Do you want it? I don't know. It was like the end table had just appeared in their home one day. And then they were like, I guess I'll sell it. And I. It was like everybody was befuddled.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think if you. I've sold a couple of things this way, too. I think if you sell Something like this. I think there's an impulse to free it of context. You know what I mean? So it's like, no, I don't. This. I don't want you to know how this fit into my life. It's no longer here. Okay. This is a separate entity. It's kind of floating out between the two of us.

[Justin McElroy]

You prefer a for sale baby shoes. And then that's it. No more context required. Just like, oh, great.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Needed those.

[Travis McElroy]

Get him or don't. One time I bought from Facebook Marketplace a big old air compressor, like four foot tall, huge. And I went to this dude's house, and he was like a 60, 65 year old man. And he was like, showing me all of the tools and asked me what I was getting at, and I told him I was getting into blacksmithing and polishing up tools and stuff, and he cut the price in half.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, man.

[Travis McElroy]

Because he was like, you seem like a good dude who knows his tools and everything. I want you to have it, and I'm gonna give you all this stuff with it and everything. And I literally cried a little bit. Aw. And he put a hand on my shoulder and he was like, make stuff with it.

[Justin McElroy]

Did he raise the price back?

[Griffin McElroy]

He doubled it a little bit. I didn't know you were a wimp.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, right.

[Travis McElroy]

He kicked me in the shin a couple times, sand in my eyes.

[Justin McElroy]

What kind of anvil jockey would shed tears over a price like this?

[Travis McElroy]

That's a cool way to do it. And then he called his psychiatrist for me and said, hey, this wimp's crying. And the psychiatrist was a huge, muscly dude, and he beat me up through the phone. Wow.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, I know this isn't helpful. I know this is some real Monday morning quarterbacking, but if I could start here, I would have not clanged the parts against absolutely every obstacle in your path.

[Griffin McElroy]

Like, I mean, if you're asking for

[Justin McElroy]

a way to do it better, like, before we even talk, like, I don't think your strategy was fundamentally flawed. Your strategy was decent, which is get the thing and get out so that you can remove yourself from this fairly vulnerable situation. But the execution, I think, did suffer because you clanged it on every obstacle in your path.

[Travis McElroy]

But the person at fault here is the seller, who said, yeah, no problem. I'll just be jumping into a meeting you at that point, no amount of clanging you've done makes it your fault that it's happening during a psychiatric appointment.

[Griffin McElroy]

You could have had a bigger car.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, if you had a bigger car,

[Griffin McElroy]

they probably thought it's just going to be a one dripper. It doesn't matter because I got my therapy afterwards and it's all about procrastination. It's my therapy. I'm in therapy for procrastination. So if I, if I delay either of these things, it's going to be bad. I don't want to. This may be a little bit too highfalutin, but bear with me a second.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, sure.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right, so we. There's two kind of states of being. There's two different states, right? Being, there's doing. Right. You can be without doing anything. Right. You can just be. That's meditation. So the meditation, you're trying to get to the essence of just like being without doing anything. Right. So conversely, by my reasoning, there must be an opposite end of the spectrum where you can do this and not have to be there. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Retail work.

[Griffin McElroy]

So. Yes, yeah, like you can maybe tap into that. That's a good but like just. But that even retail work, you have to do some being, right? Because people might talk to you or you might get a phone call or something.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm saying not if you work in the warehouse. Baby, I was doing all over the place in there.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, but for this you need to reach a state of absolute doing. Yeah. Just 100% non presence. It's like you should have trouble navigating the room because of your lack of

[Travis McElroy]

being and you should slip out of people's minds like the TARDIS devil's advocate.

[Justin McElroy]

Is it possible they reached this fugue state you're describing and maybe that's why they banged into every obstacle?

[Griffin McElroy]

No, because they remember it. They remember it. So they were there for it. Right. If you were 100% doing, you would not have the recall of this terrible time.

[Justin McElroy]

You would be in the car and then it would be slightly later and you would still be in the car with the air conditioner back there and everything else is just gone.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, it was just like. Yes, it's severance. It's like full intentional self severance.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I wish I had severance. I wish I had severance. But just for the bathroom, how dope would that be if you walked in there and there was just one guy and he was dookie man and all you ever knew was that.

[Travis McElroy]

And his life is weird, his life

[Justin McElroy]

is bad, but my life is short. We would stuff it with Uncle John's bathroom readers every day. Like he would not want for acting activity, but you would just put him in you would just walk through the door and then you'd immediately walk out the door.

[Griffin McElroy]

Why do I sometimes drink from the sink and sometimes I don't want to drink from the sink? I don't understand. Sometimes I want to lap from the sink and sometimes I don't.

[Justin McElroy]

He can shower, too. Like, he can do.

[Travis McElroy]

Like, he can have all bathrooms.

[Justin McElroy]

No, it's all the bathrooms. I like a shower that together I'll have a half bath for just showers, which is not typically the half that gets sectioned up.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know. I don't know how closely you watch this show, but I'm pretty sure if you end up with somebody doing your severance bathrooms, they will find a way to break out and come kill you. Like, 100%. I don't know how it's going to work out.

[Justin McElroy]

They would not understand our world. They would not. All they know is bathrooms. So, like, they reach a hallway and they're like, where's the toilet in here? Like, they.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, well, I shit on this couch and it didn't go anywhere. I sat down, I did what I do, but it's like trapped here.

[Justin McElroy]

Mark, I meant to ask you. Every time you go in the bathroom, I just hear you screaming, let me out. Let me out. I want to be. I want to be. I want to see the world. Why is there no windows? Like, and I don't understand. You take a long time in there too, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

Excuse me, sir, how do I make more soil? Excuse me. I seem unable to make soil as normal. How does one make soil?

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, my God. Can you imagine if your bathroom severance, your bathroom innie outie, like, ran out of toilet paper. How they let you know they have no accent. What would they do?

[Justin McElroy]

You walk into the bathroom and then you immediately walk back out with your pants around your ankles in a sort of roadie run. What happened? What did you do? What did you do in there?

[Griffin McElroy]

Let's take a break and we'll come right back after this. It's better. It's better. Guys, I. Listen, I brought a tree from Fast grown Cheese. You know, I love these two apple trees I bought. They're too fast growing. It's overtaking my home.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. I don't know that they want a Jumanji Danger to be like one of

[Travis McElroy]

like a arborist Kaiju.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Growing very well, the two apple trees. I mean, while I'll admit there is a bit of hyperbole, they are not destroying my home. They're growing. Well, they have leaves. Some of the hallmarks of good tree growth. You can see I'm not an arborist myself. That's why I'm lucky to have fast growing trees to depend on. Because the cool thing about them is if you buy a tree from first off, you tell where you live, they'll tell you about your growing zones. Would work well there. And then if you're having problems with your plant, or even if you're not, even if you just need a little help, you can call them and you can talk to a plant expert. Like, really, it's an alive and thriving.

[Travis McElroy]

That's an expert in plants, by the way, not a plant. That is an expert.

[Griffin McElroy]

That would be so cool too.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, my God.

[Justin McElroy]

They got one of them dancing cactuses there that when you call and ask for help with your trees, he like, wiggles around.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, like a final fantasy.

[Justin McElroy]

He's really. He's. He's really cool. I like him a lot. His name's Trevor.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, Trevor's cool, man. DJs.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Now's a perfect time to plant. They have great deals on spring planting essentials. Up to half off on select plants. And listeners to our show get 20% off their first purchase when using code mybrother at checkout.

[Travis McElroy]

That's listeners to our other shows get charged extra.

[Griffin McElroy]

They get charged double. That's fastgrowingtrees.com code mybrother. The offer is valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply. Go buy a tree.

[Justin McElroy]

Go buy a tree. It won't. It definitely won't grow so fast that it absorbs your house like a Tetsuo.

[Travis McElroy]

Take a hike by a tree.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Wow.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, I've got a kitty in my home who's very precious and special to me. Her name is Jasmine. She is simultaneously very sneaky and very clumsy.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, that's the best. When kitty cats mix it up.

[Travis McElroy]

She believes she is incredibly sneaky and is very obvious and cold.

[Justin McElroy]

How are da beans?

[Travis McElroy]

Da beans are excellent. And she has a little heart, like, black mark on her nose that looks like a heart. It's amazing. She's very special and precious to me, and I want to give her the best, the best of everything. And I want to serve it on those crystal bowls they used to show in commercials with the little, like, mint leaf on it. You know what I mean?

[Justin McElroy]

Yes. I don't think a cat wants the mint leaf there, but that's mostly for the human doing it.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, she chews on the plants in my window, so I've had to be very careful about which plants I put there. And which ones I lock safely in my office. Yeah, yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

How can cats be so picky? Special precious princesses when it comes to eating really good food sometimes. But then also sometimes they'll eat the flour that they see that has poison in it.

[Travis McElroy]

I believe. Listen, not this is out of the air, but I believe that my cat is punishing those plants for touching her while she's trying to stalk birds in the window.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

And like, they brush up against her so she chews on them.

[Justin McElroy]

It's a line of sight. A line of sight issue, perhaps.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

So I want to give my cat the best, so my cat deserves small cat food. Smalls Fresh cat food is protein packed recipes made with preservative free, 100% human grade ingredients you'll find in your fridge. That's like, they're good enough for human. Not like, we've reached the level of this was human meat. That's how good this is. No, it's for humans. There's no human meat in smalls. That's a Travis McElroy guarantee and it's delivered right to your door. Cats use protein as their main energy source. More protein means more fuel and a healthier cat so they can run around like dinguses and try to attack your ankles like sneaky predators.

[Justin McElroy]

More, more.

[Travis McElroy]

After switching to smalls, 88% of cat owners report overall health improvements. Your cat's health and longevity starts with what they eat for a limited time. Because you're a my brother, my brother and me listener, get 60% off your first order plus free shipping and free treats for life when you head to smalls.com mybrother that's 60% of your first order plus free shipping and free treats for life when you head to smalls.com mybrother isn't it a weird coincidence that both ads have special deals for our listeners? Right. Like what an odd question that it's like because you listen to our show.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. No, you get a deal. It's a great day. It's a great day to be a MBMBAM fan.

[Travis McElroy]

It's wild, man. People just giving you stuff at this point.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, it's like a goody bag you roll up as a vip. No problem.

[Travis McElroy]

It's just so wild that it happened in both ads.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, for sure. Hey, Max fun listeners. It's me, Jackie Kishin. I have a podcast with Lori Kilmartin. Say hi, Lori. Hi, Jacqueline. Hi, Max fun listeners.

[Griffin McElroy]

What a very formal.

[Justin McElroy]

We have a podcast and it's about stand up comedy and how much we love it and how much we dislike some of it. So listen to that podcast. It's called the Jackie and Laurie Show. We drop new episodes every Wednesday. That gives us plenty of time to

[Griffin McElroy]

decompress from our comedy weekends and discuss

[Justin McElroy]

things with sane, level heads. No, it doesn't. But if you are a woman our age or a man our age, or you know what? Any person of any age, I think

[Griffin McElroy]

you'll enjoy our Jackie and laurie show on maximumfun.org Bye.

[Justin McElroy]

Are you a celebrity? Are you searching for meaning, connection and a little levity these days?

[Griffin McElroy]

Hi, I'm Kumail Nanjiani, actor, writer, and yes, a celebrity too. And I've got four words for you.

[Justin McElroy]

Bullseye with Jesse Thorne. Are you tired of junkets, red carpets, Sick of the endless spicy snacks you have to eat? Do you want to connect with someone who gets your work and laugh with you a little? Join me, Andre 3000, Tom Hanks, Tina Fey, and many more, and become a

[Griffin McElroy]

guest on Bullseye with Jesse Thorne from NPR and Maxim. Fun. I wanna munch.

[Travis McElroy]

Jesus, that's.

[Griffin McElroy]

I want too much.

[Justin McElroy]

Squad, Squad, please turn your down microphone. Turn down every knob.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sorry, pal.

[Travis McElroy]

Maybe asmr. It's.

[Justin McElroy]

No, don't do that either. Meet me in the middle and tell me about the foodstuffs.

[Griffin McElroy]

Jimmy John's has got a new meal for you.

[Travis McElroy]

No, my old. My old stomping grounds.

[Griffin McElroy]

They teamed up. This is the partnership. I'd say it's a partnership that everybody's been waiting for. I'm just. I mean, pictures worth a thousand words. Isn't that what they say?

[Travis McElroy]

Are they partnering with me because I used to work there?

[Justin McElroy]

That was a type of partnership.

[Griffin McElroy]

That was a type of partnership.

[Travis McElroy]

That's true.

[Justin McElroy]

You were a stakeholder.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh. Huh.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's Fetty Wap and he's got the Fetty rap.

[Justin McElroy]

That's. That's a. That's wild business, guys. That's crazy work, Jimmy Johns.

[Griffin McElroy]

Because new the number 1738 Fetty Cap, I have to spell capital W, open parenthetical, lowercase R, closed parenthetical ap, meal.

[Travis McElroy]

The fetty, the parentheses there are doing so much work and all of it's mysterious.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, okay. Yeah, it is necessary the parentheses, because otherwise you would just say fetty rap meal.

[Travis McElroy]

But the fetty, the fetty does enough to distinguish what they're going for.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, and the big picture of Fetty Wap that they do have of him holding what is clearly a extremely Photoshopped in chicken bacon Caesar wrap.

[Griffin McElroy]

Maybe he's holding it like it's a beaker that he's doing some sort of science in.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

But the parentheses seem to indicate to me silent are.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, maybe it is. Maybe. Okay. Yeah, that's also kind of possible. This is so confusing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. So let's talk about it. Hey, what's up? Hello. Jimmy John's is teaming up with Fetty Wap to bring the energy of summer straight to the menu. With the number 1738 fetty capital W, open parenthetical, lowercase R, closed parenthetical AP meal featuring the brand new Buffalo ranch chicken wrap and the buffalo flavored Jimmy Chips. I don't know. I don't know if it's a damn.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't know why you needed to do that there, but it felt right to me for you to hit that there. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Answering fans long standing calls for more, Fetty Jimmy John's is officially delivering the rap of the summer. That's wrap of the summer, brought to you by the rapper R A P P E R of the summer. Fetty Wap also stars in a digital spot packed with unmistakable rap Queen energy. Celebrating a flavor drop that hits just as hard as his iconic anthem. Let's back up. If you do not know about Fetty Wap's big song, Trap Queen.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Some of this may be very confusing

[Justin McElroy]

to you from 11 whole ass years ago. Especially 11 whole years ago.

[Travis McElroy]

I think that it being Pride month. Talking about Rap Queen.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you for speaking about it.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes, Rap Queen with a picture of Fetty Wap might lead to a reader who is not aware of Trap Queen making assumptions about what's going on in Fetty Wap's life.

[Griffin McElroy]

We are already linguistically several layers deep. Because what we're doing here is talking about Fetty Wap, who is a rapper that he's selling W R A P. You know what I mean? We're already like Soji, but now we're talking about rap Queen energy, where rap is replacing Trap Queen. Oh, fucking calm down.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. Hit me with the Jimmy John's new the 1738 Fetty Parenthesis T, W, parenthesis R a P Queen, The Fetty tuba Rap Queen. Now we've gotten so specific.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Fetty Wap also stars in a digital spot packed with unmistakable. You said yes, it's a digital spot.

[Justin McElroy]

Not on celluloid.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, it's not on celluloid. Let's.

[Travis McElroy]

It's a flip book.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is how the real pros do it. I've never watched this ad, so let's just watch it together. Okay?

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, react and then.

[Griffin McElroy]

And then we'll. Then we'll build off of that.

[Justin McElroy]

A lot of live reacts. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Obviously don't talk.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, bro, I'll see you at the studio later, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm about to grab some food, man. Hey, what up?

[Justin McElroy]

I'm like, hey, what's up?

[Travis McElroy]

Hello.

[Justin McElroy]

Welcome to Jimmy John's. What can I get for you?

[Travis McElroy]

I'll do the 1738 mil.

[Justin McElroy]

Duh. One buffalo ranch chicken wrap, Buffalo Jimmy chips, and a drink. Wait, does this make me your rap queen?

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, my God. Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, baby.

[Travis McElroy]

Whoa.

[Justin McElroy]

Here's your fetty wrap meal.

[Travis McElroy]

Fetty what?

[Justin McElroy]

Right? It's just. That's a wrap.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

And you got that soda. Not the lyrics, but I appreciate it, though. Like. Yeah, I see what you're doing there. Anytime, Mr. Wap.

[Travis McElroy]

Xavier is fine.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's cool.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm gonna take this rap to my rari.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey.

[Griffin McElroy]

Two icons, one rap. The 1738 Fetty Rap Meal. Available now. So. Okay. Interesting things here.

[Justin McElroy]

There's a lot. I mean, there's a ton of interest. Can I just start by saying I'm not that familiar with Fetty Wap's work, but the vibe on that gentleman is pretty choice. I'll say.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's a good, charming vibe. I really like Fetty Wap's energy. I'm now very much celebrating him getting this promotion. I really, really, really think Jimmy John's is bending over backwards to make it make sense. And I feel like doing an entire ad about how sweaty this whole thing is.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. And choosing to make what might call the most uncomfortable interaction with a customer. Like, don't you want to come into our store? We make our customers wildly uncomfortable in our interactions.

[Justin McElroy]

They kind of got to hang a lantern on it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Right.

[Travis McElroy]

It's bad for lanterns.

[Justin McElroy]

I think hanging as large a lantern as they have is insulting to my intelligence. But this whole thing had an enormous hook that was labeled Four Lantern. Four big lanterns. Like, there was a space for it. It's hard to blame them for capitalizing on that.

[Griffin McElroy]

At the center of it all is the Buffalo Ranch chicken wrap made with all natural chicken and drizzled with Buffalo Wild wings. Medium buffalo sauce layered with fresh lettuce.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, Buffalo Wild wings? The company.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

So it's a triple partnership.

[Griffin McElroy]

We got them. We got them.

[Justin McElroy]

Wow.

[Griffin McElroy]

We got them layered with fresh lettuce, tomato, onions, sliced celery, crispy carrots, and homestyle ranch all wrapped up in a soft flour tortilla. It serves up bold, nostalgia packed flavor.

[Justin McElroy]

Nostalgia?

[Travis McElroy]

What nostalgia What? For that time you ate a Buffalo Wild Wings.

[Griffin McElroy]

Wild Wings. And Fetty Wap was there.

[Travis McElroy]

Do you remember when Fetty Wap was visiting from college and you took him to Buffalo Wild Wings to talk about his grades? It's gonna feel just like that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Because all rap queens deserve a good deal. Jimmy Johns is offering the 1738 Fetty Wrap meal for $6.79 from July 6th through the 9th. This is a good day. A nod to another one of Fetty Wap's party anthems, exclusively for JJ rewards members using the code rap Queen.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. They're selling the Fetty Wap special wrap for three days.

[Travis McElroy]

No, for three days. You can get it for $6.79.

[Griffin McElroy]

$6.79.

[Justin McElroy]

I was gonna say, why roll out a commercial for a three day?

[Griffin McElroy]

Because apparently, of the hit song 679, which was also by Mr. Wap.

[Travis McElroy]

Xavier is familiar.

[Griffin McElroy]

As we were saying, I'm not as familiar with his work, apparently. According to Wikipedia, the song finds three performers admiring an attractive woman at a nightclub environment. And it is a. The title is a reference to Fetty Wap's birthday of June 7, 1991. Happy belated birthday to Mr. Wap.

[Travis McElroy]

Don't you. Have you noticed a pattern?

[Griffin McElroy]

Xavier is fine. That's true.

[Travis McElroy]

Xavier is fine. Xavier, have you noticed?

[Griffin McElroy]

He did not say that to me, though. If I were to say. Pardon. Xavier. Call me Fetty Wap.

[Travis McElroy]

Justin. Thank you so much.

[Justin McElroy]

If someone says something in a commercial or a TV show or a movie, they're also saying it to you.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, it's like Vampire rules. If they have a welcome mat, that's enough to let you in. Now, listen, have you noticed a pattern in Munch Squads where sometimes they will partner with, like, a celebrity for a thing, and it's a wild combination. And it's available at, like, one store, Right. For, like, two hours. Right. And then there are other times where it's very clearly, we want to start making a Buffalo chicken wrap and make it a staple item on our menu. Now we just need to find a celebrity as an excuse to promote this. Like, it's important. But this is going to all stores, all the time, forever.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Correct. Yes, that's true. But Fetty Wap W a P. And if you put the R in there.

[Justin McElroy]

If you do a R in there.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, fuck.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

I didn't even get it.

[Justin McElroy]

What if they put the R? It's like, what if they put the R in a different place and they Started selling the Fetty Warp.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, shit.

[Justin McElroy]

This was. And this was again.

[Griffin McElroy]

Now. What about you put some noodles in it. You start getting a fettuccine now then. Now I'm into it now. Okay. Olive Garden wrap.

[Justin McElroy]

Olive Garden would never. But if they did, that would be good shit.

[Griffin McElroy]

Fettuccine would be less of a walk. It would be less of a stretch. I think that this. Than what they're doing here. Here's a quote.

[Travis McElroy]

Fetty Wap, just by putting pepperoncini on a. On a sandwich, and I would buy the fettuccine.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, that would be. No, that would be confusing.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, okay. Sorry.

[Griffin McElroy]

I got to talk to you guys about Weberoni. But that's separate. Fetty Wap helped to define then. This is an interesting use of a definite article. Fetty Wap helped to define the sound of the summer. And we wanted to bring some of that energy to our menu, said Suzanne De Ruscha, vice president of integrated marketing communications at Jimmy John's and Music. Which sounds like the job title of the person who has to make excuses for when we do bad things.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

This meal is iconic, flavor forward and built for fans who knew that some eras and flavors never miss.

[Travis McElroy]

It's a Buffalo chicken wrap. You guys didn't, like, invent the atom bomb? It's a Buffalo chicken route.

[Griffin McElroy]

This summer you'll be seeing baby, with

[Justin McElroy]

every bite with Buffalo chips, Trev. That's the difference.

[Travis McElroy]

Sure. It's too much buffalo. I agree.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm happy for. For Fetty Wap.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. Xavier.

[Griffin McElroy]

Either way, whichever he prefers, I'm happy for him. He seems like a nice guy.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

We know nothing about him. So if he's not a nice guy, don't. I don't.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. I can't, like, vouch for him. The Jimmy John's guy shoots elephants, so I don't like him very much, but.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, my God. I remember when we were working there and we all found out it was a dark day. This is what throws.

[Justin McElroy]

Because he walked in with his blunderbuss.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And the elephant slung over his shoulder.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. And you didn't say anything, dude.

[Travis McElroy]

No, you just. He said, slice it up and slammed it down on the counter.

[Justin McElroy]

Fucked up, man. And he said. He said this thing charged me in the parking lot and this was self defense. And now we know that's not true. I think a more curious mind would have asked him why he had his blunderbuss on him in the first place.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

I was 22 at the time, you know, you were scared.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. I Was scared. He had a blunderbuss. And I was still thinking about Jumanji, you know, and the hunter who looked like Robin Williams. Dad showed up. And when we work there. This is also what throws me from this commercial. The circumstances were such. I worked there for six months. I never made a single sandwich because I was never trained like how to do it as fast as they wanted. So I always worked register. And then my manager Austin would be like, Travis, Megan, whatever, blah blah, blah. And I'd be like, okay. But no one showed me how to do that. And he would yell, I shit you not, no time. Get on the register. And someone else would make it. So the idea that there would be a humorous interaction with any customer at any level.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, I think you maybe had a substandard sort of. You fell through the crack. You fell through the cracks of the Jimmy John system. And that does tragically happen to a lot of our nation's youths.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I don't think Jimmy John did make me shave in the Jimmy John's bathroom with a rusty razor and luke warm.

[Justin McElroy]

If I have to hear about you shaving with a rusty razor in Jimmy John's bathroom one more time.

[Travis McElroy]

I hated Austin.

[Justin McElroy]

What was the other thing you wanted to talk about? Juicer.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, this is one that I did a field report on with my body.

[Travis McElroy]

Austin, if you're listening, you're a piece of shit. Sorry. Go on.

[Justin McElroy]

Fuck you, Austin. You can't do that.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's a violation of federal communication standards. That's narrow casting to tell Austin to. Yeah, you can't use the American broadcast waves. This show is of course simulcast on Sirius XXXM, the adults only. SiriusXM characters welcome characters unwelcome because they're all in jail.

[Justin McElroy]

The characters are like Pikachu, Superman. Like, no, you can really get away with fucking anything.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Xxxt.

[Griffin McElroy]

I want to see if I can. You guys aren't going to be as excited about Weberoni if you don't see Weberoni in action, I'm sure.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, sounds like a 1996 website.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that's a very funny joke.

[Justin McElroy]

Kids, search up, search up code word best buddies on Weberoni to play our new Flash game.

[Travis McElroy]

Sorry, Justin, did you just say that sounds like a very funny joke, Travis.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, that is a funny joke, Travis.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay?

[Griffin McElroy]

It's a funny joke. You said it sounds like a website and I said it's Weberoni. So I was like, that's a very funny joke because you put web and web together. He agreed.

[Justin McElroy]

He was agreeing with you.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't know what you're going to do. It still cut me to my core.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, okay. I was just agreeing that it was a very funny joke. I don't know.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, Travis, we've been at this.

[Griffin McElroy]

I can be more negative if you want.

[Justin McElroy]

We've been crafting humor together for such a long time. Sometimes a laugh isn't the organic response to this stuff. Sometimes it's a discussion of craftsmanship.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Like, you know, when artists go around museums, they're whipping it out every few seconds. You know what I mean? They're just saying, like, oh, good art.

[Travis McElroy]

And they move on to the next art.

[Justin McElroy]

Bro, show me this weberoni at Little Caesars. A web of shredded pepperoni and toasted

[Griffin McElroy]

cheese from Little Caesars. We can finally eat.

[Justin McElroy]

Like, oh, oh, those men died.

[Travis McElroy]

I kind of died.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

So, yeah, I was struck by an image right away. Justin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Of what?

[Travis McElroy]

The construction workers hanging upside down there.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

What they have done that Spider man does not normally do is anchor the line because they're on safety belts so that it looks like the web is coming directly from the bustle butthole. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

They're also wearing shorts, which you almost never see.

[Griffin McElroy]

Spider man in a construction setting. Yeah. So the weberoni pizza I had yesterday and I got to eat it live to myself. Little Caesar's. Hold on, hold on.

[Justin McElroy]

How does one eat something not. How does one eat something not live?

[Griffin McElroy]

I gotta ate it. I didn't. This isn't just a story. I'm saying, like, I have a live report from my body from last night and today. So I have, like, different.

[Justin McElroy]

I have a lot of different perspectives.

[Travis McElroy]

We're gonna want to hear the follow up.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, you won't, actually. So it's gonna swing into theaters on the 31st. But on Saturday, June 27, they opened a replica of Peter Parker's apartment. Little Caesar's did. And at this replica, they launched the Weberoni pizza. So the weberoni pizza is. It's a pizza, and it features tiny shredded pepperonis and shredded cheeses in a fashion that looks like Spider man is just like webbed it, like, with cheese and pizza.

[Justin McElroy]

If there was a switch on his thing that could change from Webster to torn up pepperoni pieces. And, you know, at least once he's forgotten to switch it back before he gets in a big brawl with Doc Ock and he's like, get stuck to the wall, Doc Ock. But instead he just blasts him with confetti of spicy meats.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm vegan.

[Griffin McElroy]

Electra's vegan. So the. The weberoni pizza. They're opening a pop up experience on the 27th. This is tomorrow from 1 to 8 in New York. We can't. We can't get there in time.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, now with that attitude.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah to the brother. Here's Inspired by spider man's iconic web slinging superpowers, Weberoni pizza features a web of shredded pepperoni and toasted cheeses on top. The combination of shredded pepperoni and toasted two cheese blend offers customers an opportunity to get pepperoni in every bite, all for just $8.99. I love the fact that add your own web pizza. By just adding a web of pizza and toasted cheeses.

[Justin McElroy]

Web it up.

[Griffin McElroy]

Web it up.

[Travis McElroy]

They had to add the quotes there to make it clear. Like, our employees are not going to carefully place these shredded pepperoni in a web shape. We can't make this clear enough. They will conjure the idea, the suggestion of a web, but this will not look like a web.

[Justin McElroy]

We are Little Caesars. We have invested all of our money into R and D at getting this stuff at you as fast as we can. If there was a pizza gun like in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that we could just shoot it into your open driver's side window as you roll by the restaurant. We would do that. We cannot stop. To form an intricate latticework of this Italian meat. It can't be. It will stop the gears entirely.

[Travis McElroy]

Also, not since Tobey Maguire's has spider man had the power to launch webs. This Peter Parker has a web slinging device. It's not a superpower that he has, you dumb shit.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, maybe. Well, you haven't seen the movie.

[Griffin McElroy]

What is that for? Who's the anger?

[Justin McElroy]

Who's the anger for?

[Travis McElroy]

I don't know, man. I woke up early with a headache and.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, but don't bring that here.

[Travis McElroy]

You know what, Little Caesar? Justin's right. Little Caesars. That was unkind to me. You're doing your best out here. And I actually do.

[Justin McElroy]

Austin still. Austin still. Suck my butt, buddy.

[Travis McElroy]

Still Huff nuts.

[Griffin McElroy]

Austin, You. You. You heard them. But the Weberoni, we should celebrate. This is somebody who really looked at spider man and you're like, how can I translate this into a pizza? You know what I mean? Like, not like they really looked like the spider man experience. Yeah, it's like, eat like spider man is the tagline. As though once he became spider man, he's like, I can't eat shit without webs anymore.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, man, I love this stuff.

[Justin McElroy]

I'll go to Uno Pizzeria Grill and be like, hey, can you web it? Do you know? Do you have the technology here to. At Little Caesars, they do a thing called webbin it.

[Travis McElroy]

I'd like to say web style.

[Justin McElroy]

I'd like it web style, please.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm Spider Man. Oh, shit. I'm not wearing the costume. Fuck. I just gave it away.

[Justin McElroy]

I have to applaud them for this interpretation of a Spider man pizza and not just delivering pizzas in the box upside down and calling that Spider man pizza. Because I think that that would also fill the brief and make the pizza more difficult to eat. But it's not like the hot n readies are really getting pizza.

[Travis McElroy]

Also, can we highlight What a coup for Little Caesars to get to partner with Marvel's Spider Man. Huge. I would expect that of a Papa John's, maybe even a Pizza Hut. Little Caesar's gets to work with Spider Man.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think the competition's becoming a little bit more fierce because, like, Supergirl was kfc. Supergirl went to kfc. It's like, okay, it's a major.

[Travis McElroy]

Superman was at dq.

[Griffin McElroy]

Maybe he's at the brazier, hit the grill and Superman hit the grill and chill.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't think so.

[Griffin McElroy]

How did that happen? Maybe try him to head back to Kansas, buddy. Figure some stuff out.

[Travis McElroy]

I bet it's like when a team is heading into a draft and they give away a bunch of 2, 3, 4, 5 picks to have one strong first round pick. And they're. This Spider man partnership is gonna make our whole season.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

They have to talk to both people on both sides of a conflict like this. They have to get the little C's perspective and they have to get the movie side. So here's what the little C's perspective is. And this is a human for sure. Our goal is to connect with customers in cultural moments and areas where they are passionate, says Greg Hamilton, a person we're thrilled to work with. Sony Pictures Spider Man. Brand new day this summer to bring the world's favorite superhero snot into our stores and homes across the country, creating a unique pizza occasion the entire family can enjoy. Oh, wait a minute, Rebecca. Did I say pizza occasion? Delete, delete, delete, delete. Pizza occasion. No, delete.

[Justin McElroy]

Battery crunching sounds Battery crunching sounds Battery crunching sounds now, over on the movie

[Griffin McElroy]

side, how is it so hard? Like, it's so hard to say a pizza cat. I'm not a fucking pizza cage out loud. No one said it.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't have sales experience, but I've watched half of Season one of Mad Men. And it doesn't. It seems like a pretty fundamentally flawed strategy to come at it this way and not say anything that makes the pizza sound good or Spider man sound cool or yourself sound like not an Android. I don't get it, man.

[Griffin McElroy]

It always sounds like they're the only people they're worried about. Reading these press releases are the other restaurants where they're like, why the fuck

[Travis McElroy]

did they do this?

[Griffin McElroy]

And they're like, no, no, no, it makes sense.

[Travis McElroy]

Listen.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, we like explosive. Like Spider man is known for its explosive action, humor, and fun. And collaborating with Little Caesars. He doesn't say this, but I'm assuming the rest of the sentence is. Which seems like a joke when they

[Travis McElroy]

showed up with two big bags with money signs on them and slammed them down on our desk.

[Griffin McElroy]

So, okay. Collaborating with Little Caesars, a brand recognized for its what its two things. Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Hot. Ready? Two words.

[Travis McElroy]

Meat and flavor.

[Griffin McElroy]

Blank voice and blank spirit. I'll give you that.

[Justin McElroy]

Pioneer spirit.

[Griffin McElroy]

You think he said old voice. Sony said Little Caesars is known for its spider.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm gonna say bold voice and can do spirit.

[Justin McElroy]

Or the pizza pizza voice.

[Griffin McElroy]

Bold voice is correct.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, good. Bold voice is locked in bold, adventurous spirit.

[Griffin McElroy]

So close. Playful spirit on Spider Man. Brand new day was a natural fit, said Jeffrey Godsick, who had disgraced his deity in his actions. Their passion for creative, engaging content brought them.

[Travis McElroy]

Get out. Vomit in. That's God sick, sir. Oh, right, right, right, right, right.

[Griffin McElroy]

Their passion for creative, engaging content brought the Weberoni pizza and a replica of Peter Parker's apartment to life, offering fans an immersive way to engage with their favorite friendly neighborhood Spider Man. That's right, Spidey fans. Finally you could live the dream of having an apartment in New York.

[Justin McElroy]

Does the replica come with a little guy?

[Griffin McElroy]

Does the replica.

[Justin McElroy]

Does the replica come with a little guy who swings by and is like, give me rent. I hang on out here.

[Travis McElroy]

Clean up this shithole.

[Griffin McElroy]

The movie's outside.

[Justin McElroy]

Do you guys remember the Give me Rent guy from the Tobey Maguire era? Yeah, the Give me Rent. I think his name was John. Give me rent.

[Travis McElroy]

I love that guy.

[Griffin McElroy]

This. Wow, there's a lot of credits on this campaign. We're not going to get deep into it, but anyway, that's the Weberoni. I had it yesterday. So here's the live review. I don't like when cheese tastes too much like cheese. And this cheese, folks, it has a cheesy flavor that no one's gonna enjoy.

[Travis McElroy]

So The Weberonis are 0% of Justin McElroys are gonna love it.

[Justin McElroy]

Some people like the cheese. Some people like the cheesy flavor.

[Griffin McElroy]

Also, let me save you four bucks. There is an exclusive mango spicy rush at Little Caesars that only Little Caesars has. And we got a can of it and it's not worth it.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, it was $4. Would you go back into the mines one more time and do me a science favor, which is get another one of these Weberoni pizzas? I need you to remove every piece of Weberoni from it and try to reconstruct them into whole pepperonis. So I know exactly how many peppies we're getting on this thing.

[Travis McElroy]

Cause it could not be whole pepperoni pizza.

[Justin McElroy]

Of course there's pep in every bite. They've destroyed it. They've reduced it to a molecular level. You're gonna get a little bit of pepe. But, like, what if you put it. It's like five pepperonis. It just looks like a lot because of the way that they've scattered it.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh.

[Griffin McElroy]

All of a sudden it's like, money. That's the only way we do it.

[Justin McElroy]

Consumer Reports. Give me one big pepperoni that covers the entire surface.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, fuck. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

With the new Captain America shield. Aroni.

[Justin McElroy]

Yes. Dude,

[Griffin McElroy]

you remember when the Insomnia cookies did? They did wicked cookies, but they wouldn't call them wicked cookies. They're just like green. Green magic. This. I just noticed they have two Supergirl cookies with the Supergirl logo right on there. So they're like insomnia. They got the word out. They're like, listen, if I can work

[Travis McElroy]

with this or not, we're gonna do the cookies.

[Griffin McElroy]

So you might as well. You might as well give us the brand. Come on. We're gonna do it regardless. We're crazy. We're only open. People only remember us when they're high. That's like, you cannot sue us. You'll forget us in the morning.

[Travis McElroy]

Our brains are fried, man. We'll do whatever.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do whatever, man.

[Justin McElroy]

Come enjoy our superb girl cookies we didn't get.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you've had fun. This is a highlight of my week every single week. And I hope you enjoyed it too.

[Travis McElroy]

It's up there for me. It's like top three.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's cool. I'll take it.

[Travis McElroy]

Story and Song comes out in two weeks. That's the last of the Adventure Zone Balance graphic novel series. You can pre order it right [e-mail] if you pre order from One of our indie bookstore partners. You'll get a book plate signed by one of us and Carrie Book release event in Boston on July 16th at 7pm at the Chevalier or Chevalier?

[Justin McElroy]

Chevalier.

[Travis McElroy]

One of those tickets.

[Justin McElroy]

We got confirmation from a local.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, tickets are on sale now. Each ticket includes a signed paperback copy of Story and song provided by Brookline Booksmith. If you go to Bit Ly McElroytours, you can get those tickets.

[Griffin McElroy]

Now.

[Justin McElroy]

We got other merch also coming on Wednesday. We've got continuing the saga and all buts, no government sticker to celebrate Trav Nation's centennial. It's so funny how that has aligned with America. Yeah, we've got a magnet of Mount Travmore. I don't know if that's the official name for it, but it's, it's incredible.

[Travis McElroy]

It's on a baby.

[Justin McElroy]

It's a very powerful design. We got a super McElroy Brothers magnet frame. We got a bunch of stuff [e-mail] and 10% of all of our merch proceeds for July will also be donated to the Asian Pacific Environmental Network, which works to lead a transition away from an extractive economy based on profit and pollution and toward local, healthy and life sustaining economies that benefit everyone.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm also going to be at gencon this year and I get to be in a live actual play of the Dungeon Crawler Carl ttrpg with Matt Deniman and Jeff Hayes and a bunch of other wonderful folks. So if you're going to be at Gen Con, come see that. Come hang out.

[Griffin McElroy]

I also want to mention that every Thursday by afternoon, probably about one, I think is going to be this the set time Eastern. I'm playing every game that Tim Curry's been in. Last week it was Gabriel Knightson of the Fathers. Next week is Wing Commander 3 Heart of the Tiger where Tim plays Melek and additional Kilrothi voices. If you missed that first episode, you missed Tim Curry doing a New Orleans accent.

[Justin McElroy]

Holy shit.

[Griffin McElroy]

For the entire game. And it is one of the worst things I've ever heard from a professional. And he can handle it. Tim can handle it.

[Justin McElroy]

He was picking it. But like, it's all love. Like it's all love.

[Travis McElroy]

All love.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's his first game. Maybe he'd never acted before, I don't know.

[Travis McElroy]

But yeah, you can still check that out at the McElroy family YouTube channel. It'll be in the live tab where you can also watch Griffin talking about every game ever made and me playing timberborn in N.A. york City. Working with the Beavers, we're also doing

[Justin McElroy]

a six thumbs, one heart run of Dark Souls right now that's going shockingly well. We are splitting one Dark Souls body and we're absolutely beating ass.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, man.

[Justin McElroy]

So yeah, if you follow McRoy Entertainment System on Instagram, they'll let you know anytime we go live. It's nearly every day, so that's your best bet. Thanks to Montagne. Also for the use for a theme song, My Life is Better with youh. I really dig it. I really dig the track. I really dig the tune. Hmm.

[Travis McElroy]

Gotta throw something.

[Justin McElroy]

I got this Knight Solaire for Father's Day. The guy from Dark Souls. Just talking about him and I don't want to throw him because he was a gift.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I mean I could throw this Shure SM58 that's sitting right next to me.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, hey, I got something. What about this?

[Justin McElroy]

Ah, Justin's got. Who is. What was his name?

[Travis McElroy]

Remind me. That Ronald's name. I don't know. He's in my house now. He was the crocheted nightmare.

[Justin McElroy]

The crocheted nightmare. I'm not sure throwing him is a great idea.

[Travis McElroy]

No, throw him. Throw him.

[Justin McElroy]

Curly fries. Are you going to eat him? Okay. Oh, back up. Take the headphones off and really give her a good shot.

[Griffin McElroy]

You're right. You're right.

[Justin McElroy]

You've gotten feedback that your Chucks haven't been great. I want to see a big one.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Coach is on you this season.

[Justin McElroy]

Smash it.

[Griffin McElroy]

You missed everything.

[Justin McElroy]

How did you miss everything?

[Griffin McElroy]

My name's Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm Travis McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm Griffin McElroy. This has been my brother.

[Griffin McElroy]

My brother.

[Justin McElroy]

I mean.

[Griffin McElroy]

Kiss your dad square on the lips.

[Justin McElroy]

With you

[Griffin McElroy]

My life

[Justin McElroy]

it's better, it's

[Griffin McElroy]

better with you it's better My life it's better it's better with you Is it true? It's better, it's better with you My life. Maximum Fun.

[Justin McElroy]

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