MBMBaM 821: Time Lost is Cool Lost

Summary

My Brother, My Brother and Me – Episode 821: Time Lost is Cool Lost
Release Date: July 6, 2026
Hosts: Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy

---

Episode Overview

In this episode, the McElroy brothers celebrate and poke fun at America’s 250th anniversary celebrations, dig deep into the recent "Great American Fair" in West Virginia (especially its new Ferris wheel and questionable inventions), and deliver their signature absurdist advice on classic topics such as customers mistaking workers for employees, secret juggling, pets on the loose, and gift-unwrapping etiquette. As always, their blend of real talk, good-natured ribbing, and surreal goofs remains front and center.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. America’s 250th & The Great American Fair

• The episode opens with the brothers discussing the "250th" anniversary festivities—particularly, the lackluster turnout and odd inventions (01:26–15:36).
• Griffin shares anxiety about attending highly politicized events and being spotted in the sparse crowd. He worries:
  “My fear is that I will go and the paparazzo will be...there’s a real chance that I will be one of the more notorious individuals on site and it will get out.” (04:26)
• They riff on being "the guy who hates it" in public:
  Griffin: “One of my love languages is visibly displaying my displeasure at being at a place.” (05:17)
• They lampoon the "big attractions":
  • Justin: “We have a great wheel in West Virginia called the America 250 wheel. It’s the world's largest portable Ferris wheel.” (06:38)
  • Griffin: “All Ferris wheels are portable if you're strong enough.” (06:48)
• Amused skepticism about the Ferris wheel, its portability, light shows, and the dubious “president-themed” gondolas with bios for each president.
  • Griffin: “Turnout’s been low...so I will be one of the more notorious individuals.”
  • They joke about presidential Ferris wheel bios—how awkward or brief some would be (“Then I died. Oh, shit.”, 11:00).
  • Wonder if riding in “the Trump gondola” would change political perspectives (13:08).

2. State Fairs & “New Inventions”

• Exaggerated nostalgia for past world’s fairs and disappointment in current state booths (14:32):
  Griffin: “I want to bring back Daniel Burnham from 1890...show him what our version of World’s Fair looks like. Dude, Rhode Island’s just got two chairs facing each other.”
• West Virginia’s showcase features: driving simulators, fake stumps for photos, a mini-golf, and a stuffed black bear (13:41–15:00).
• Self-deprecating pride: “The big wheel state...we dropped the mountain state thing, it’s just the big wheel now.” (15:12)

3. Advice Questions

a. The “Beer Merchandiser” Retail Mix-up (15:51–26:45)

• Listener asks: “How do I deal with customers thinking I know where everything is in a grocery store when I’m just the beer stocker?”
  • The brothers empathize with retail confusion, intimidation, and customer expectations.
  • Griffin: “It takes a lot of courage and gumption for me to bother an employee.” (17:45)
  • Relate the anxiety of not wanting to bother staff and the “all fear, baby” attitude (18:44).
  • Justin: “You interrupted me to sin. To condemn your soul to hell.” (16:47)
• Suggest turning confusion into a sales opportunity:
  Griffin: “You don't want almonds. Gross. Have you tried a beer?” (25:25)
  • The concept of handing out a beer as consolation for not finding other products—one per day, “legally allowed.” (26:07)

b. The Secret Juggler (26:52–34:47)

• Listener suspects partner is secretly learning to juggle at night with bowling pins, causing noisy disturbances.
  • Travis: “Learning to juggle in secret is a really good lie about something else. This person might...” (27:23)
  • The dilemma: how do you subtly help without confronting or embarrassing the partner?
  • Wild ideas: leave soft balls around, claim to be learning hacky sack as a cover (29:09).
  • Empathetic: “Learning to juggle, especially bowling pins, is not something I would want to do in front of someone I would want to continue to find me attractive.” (34:18)

c. DoorDash Dilemma: The Loose Dog (40:00–45:16)

• A DoorDash driver gets a delivery dog in their drop-off photo, but the dog escapes and the owner isn’t answering.
  • Brothers rank the solutions:
    1. Do nothing/"Is it my dog now?" (theft—don’t)
    2. Leave the dog out (animal endangerment—don’t)
    3. Open the door and let it back in (technically breaking and entering, but for a good cause—best option).
  • Travis: “If my dog got out...let the dog back in. And maybe with a note that says, ‘do better. Got out again.’” (44:52)

d. Gift-Opening Etiquette (45:16–51:46)

• Complaints about family who take “forever” to unwrap a gift by meticulously undoing tape/ribbons, prolonging events.
  • Brothers affirm the right to savor present-opening, especially when it’s rare.
  • Goofs about edible wrapping, incredibly efficient wrapping with one piece of tape.
  • Divergence in party culture: “Are people still opening presents at parties?” (48:44)
  • Travis: “You are basically...feeding one wolf out of hungry wolves and just watch me feed this one wolf.” (49:22)
  • Followed by advice to set expectations and gentle ribbing of gift-showboaters.

4. The Haunted Doll – Camilo (51:46–57:29)

• Justin brings out Camilo, a "haunted" doll acquired from a too-creepy eBay node.
  • The tale is told in spooky, mock-serious tones (53:44):
    Justin: “The moment I lifted her out, the air around me tightened.”
  • Narratively builds Camilo’s “origin” as a spirit-bound vessel, mocked by the others as “just looking for a forever home.” (56:47)
  • Travis and Griffin riff on the possibility of assembling the ultimate witch from doll fragments.

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Griffin, on being ‘seen’ at events:
  “One of my love languages is visibly displaying my displeasure at being at a place.” (05:17)

• Justin, about the Ferris wheel’s speed approval:
  “It took all of about two minutes for the governor to okay the idea. No shit.” (08:02)

• Justin, on asking retail questions:
  “The crosstalk is the worst when it’s lying...You interrupted me to sin. To condemn your soul to hell.” (16:39–16:47)

• Griffin, advice on retail sales:
  “You don't want almonds. Gross. Have you tried a beer?” (25:25)

• Travis, the juggler’s shame:
  “Learning to juggle, especially bowling pins, is not something I would want to do in front of someone I’d want to continue to find me attractive.” (34:18)

• Griffin, about DoorDash dilemma:
  “Screen doors are not vampire rules. If the front door is open and a vampire sees that, they can swing that little rusty son of a bitch out...Screen door is just for bugs.” (41:43–42:06)

• Travis, on dog owners:
  “If my dog got out...let the dog back in. Maybe with a note that says, ‘Do better. Got out again.’” (44:52)

• Griffin, justifying gift-opening rituals:
  “If I get a beautiful parcel that’s all taped up just the way I like, let me have the time...” (47:43)

• Justin, on supernatural dolls:
  “The moment I lifted her out, the air around me tightened.” (54:44) “Camilo’s origins are tangled in witchcraft and old world dark magic...” (55:14)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• America 250th Festival, Ferris Wheel, State Fair Riffs: 01:26–15:36
• Beer Merchandiser: Retail Advice & Goofs: 15:51–26:45
• Secret Juggler Problem: 26:52–34:47
• DoorDash & Escaped Dog: 40:00–45:16
• Agonizing Gift Openers & Etiquette: 45:16–51:46
• Haunted Doll “Camilo”: 51:46–57:29

---

Tone & Language

The episode is classic MBMBaM: playful, self-deprecating, occasionally surreal, heavy on sibling teasing, and always empathetic towards the listener’s anxieties—tempered with absurd solutions and comic detours. The rapid fire cross-talk and sarcastic asides give the show an anarchic but affectionate energy.

---

Memorable Running Gags

• "Portable Ferris wheel"—mocked as an undesirable adjective for heavy machinery.
• The secret juggler—a whole subplot of how to help a partner learn to juggle pins, or whether they’re lying about something more interesting.
• Gift-opening “wolf feeding” analogy: observation about party etiquette.
• Haunted doll lore and eBay finds—Justin’s passion project, bewildering his brothers.

---

In Summary

MBMBaM 821 pokes fun at American pageantry and nostalgia, highlights the brothers at their best as they riff on everyday anxieties, and closes with wonderfully weird haunted ephemera. Listeners get advice both sincerely and satirically, wrapped inside meandering, characteristically McElroy comedic storytelling.

Transcript

[Griffin McElroy]

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

[Theme Song Singer]

It's the start of something beautiful A

[Travis McElroy]

small acquaintance has blossomed it's ripened into

[Theme Song Singer]

a precious friends I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life, it feels like. It's better it's better with you My life, ah. It's better it's better with you this is true it's better it's better with two. It's better with you.

[Justin McElroy]

Hello everybody. Welcome my brother, my brother, me and advice show for the Modren era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

[Travis McElroy]

What up Trav Nation? It's me, your middlest brother, Travis. Big dog, wolf wool of Vroom Vroom. The heater award winning McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's up Trav Nation? It's me, your sweet baby bear. The 30 and a 30 media luminary, Griffin McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

Welcome to. I mean it's like an ongoing celebration, I would say of America and West Virginia especially. We're all partying for the 250th.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm so stoked to be here for the big beautiful ladies quarter. Millennial.

[Travis McElroy]

Is it hard getting around Griffin? Like all the traffic and the people coming into town for it?

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, dude, yes. It sucks. The congestion is like fucking for miles around the mall.

[Justin McElroy]

Everybody's trying to get there.

[Griffin McElroy]

Everyone is trying to get down there because everyone wants to know what's the big inventions this time around, you know what I mean? The latest inventions everyone wants to check because they know that's what like all kinds of shit was mostly at the Columbian expedition. Chicago, we love that one. Devil in the White City. Fuck yeah. And we want to know what's the next telephone? What's the next Ferris wheel? The next light bulb, the next alternating current?

[Justin McElroy]

Have you tried the latest? It's a coned waffle.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, man, that shit. Now everything's in cones.

[Justin McElroy]

Dr. Brenner's candied floss. You know what I mean? It's all there.

[Griffin McElroy]

I tried to find a list online what the big inventions are this time.

[Justin McElroy]

Big inventions.

[Griffin McElroy]

And I've been, I have struggled and I'm guessing they just want it to be a surprise when you roll up and you're there, boots on the ground and your boots on the ground, and you're watching a Reba McEntire cover band perform for 14 people. They want the Inventions to catch you because they know turnout's been low. They want the Inventions to catch and surprise you and lift you up and make you celebrate America.

[Justin McElroy]

I do think it is. It's tough, Griffin, that, like, you're one of the people on this show and one of the funniest things to ever happen is not, you know, 30 miles as the crow flies from your doorway. And I just. You just won't walk over there and see what's going on. You know what I mean? Like, if you would just, like, go there, you could have already gone there and you'd be talking about it. You.

[Travis McElroy]

I doubt you'd even have to pay to get in. I don't know if there's.

[Justin McElroy]

If this was happening in Huntington, you guys would be so mad at me for not going.

[Griffin McElroy]

You tell me what I would need to wear or otherwise do to signal to everyone that my presence at this extremely and tragically politicized event is as for a goofy.

[Travis McElroy]

These are the same excuses you gave on January 6th when you went, yeah, now, man, I know.

[Justin McElroy]

I actually don't think that's as funny as what I was gonna say. Cause this is. There's a bit of acid on the tongue with that one. Yes. I was going to say Griffin in a much more convivial fashion. One of the headlines has been how few people there are. So I do think that you could start to shift the narrative of, like, there's not many people here. There is this one guy in a my brother, my brother, me T shirt who seems to be in a lot of the shots.

[Griffin McElroy]

Don't get me. That's my fear. Just my fear is that I will go and the paparazzo will be. So. I've never had an issue with the paparazzo myself, but if I go and there's 14 people there, there's a real chance that I will be one of the more notorious individuals on site and it will get out. And then people will be like, hey, man, what the fuck? And I can't say I wanted a $12 foot long corn dog. Like, I would just pop down for lunch.

[Travis McElroy]

Griffin, you're my brother and I love you. And I've known you for almost 40 years now. I don't think you would have a hard time conveying your displeasure at being at a place visibly. I think that's true.

[Justin McElroy]

That's true.

[Travis McElroy]

It would be very clear that you were not happy to be there.

[Griffin McElroy]

One of my love languages is visibly displaying my displeasure at being at a place or a.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes, it's something that you have perfected over the years. I think your ability, like a camera would pan across the 14 people present at this huge event and they'd be like, but that guy who's.

[Griffin McElroy]

That hates it.

[Travis McElroy]

He hates this so much.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't love being in a situation, whether it's a concert or open mic comedy or something like that, where I know that the performers are putting a lot of. I'm carrying a lot of weight for the performers, being one of the very few attendees here. I don't want to make eye contact with Mima RACINTYRE, the Reba McIntyre cover band, like their guitarist, and see the desperation in his eyes. And if I go because it sucks or I have something way better to do, I'm gonna see the panic in their face of like, oh, no. Oh, no, don't go. Tell us, what do you want? Fancy. We'll play fancy again. I know. We've done it a couple times already.

[Travis McElroy]

I mean, it's schmancy. Their version's called schmancy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, no, they can sing the song. You understand how legally you think Reba

[Travis McElroy]

McEntire's fine with them singing Fancy at the 250 Great American Fair?

[Justin McElroy]

Can I talk about our wheel?

[Travis McElroy]

Please? Talk about your great. Keep on turning.

[Justin McElroy]

We have a great wheel in West Virginia called the America 250 wheel. It's the world's largest portable Ferris wheel. Yeah, dude, I was.

[Travis McElroy]

I. You keep using that word too portable.

[Griffin McElroy]

And it's not all Ferris wheels are portable if you're strong enough.

[Justin McElroy]

This one.

[Travis McElroy]

You're mighty Joe Young.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

In this case, it means rickety.

[Travis McElroy]

So. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

The world's largest portable Ferris wheel.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's mobile on a different axis than most Ferris wheels are mobile. It goes. There's a depth to its movement.

[Travis McElroy]

It's just simply not an adjective I want attached to my Ferris wheel or large machinery of any kind.

[Griffin McElroy]

A permanent fixture, actually, I would love for my Ferris wheel.

[Justin McElroy]

So it's not that West Virginia. West Virginia has. The reason this is important is that it started at the Florida State Fair and next month it's going to the Wisconsin State Fair, but right now it's in West Virginia. So.

[Travis McElroy]

Ha chi machi.

[Justin McElroy]

It's the biggest one in the world and we finally put ourselves on the map.

[Travis McElroy]

But not exclusive.

[Justin McElroy]

Not exclusive.

[Griffin McElroy]

You don't need that, though.

[Justin McElroy]

Here's a quote from The West Virginia Secretary of Tourism, Chelsea Ruby. We wanted an attraction that people would tell their kids and grandkids about. I've already told my kids about it, and I had a lot of really great, great words.

[Travis McElroy]

No worries.

[Griffin McElroy]

Does it say kids, grandkids, and podcast, slash, streaming audience as a goof about. Was that clarified?

[Justin McElroy]

The second half of the quote is it took all of about two minutes for the governor to okay the idea. No shit.

[Griffin McElroy]

No way.

[Justin McElroy]

You don't fucking say.

[Travis McElroy]

You're telling me this wasn't a long deliberated. We got experts in to.

[Justin McElroy]

You're kidding me. Our dipship carpetbagger governor didn't take more than two minutes to clock whether or not this would be a good idea or not. I don't. I don't believe it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Here's a quote from the leader of the teachers union of West Virginia. They've been kicking this one around for, like a year, guys. They've been trying to figure out whether or not they should pay us any money for way, way, way, way longer than two minutes. Like, so much longer. Do you think we just got an email from them actually saying, sorry, teachers, this is Ferris wheel money. Better luck next time when it's time

[Travis McElroy]

to move it to a different fair. Do they just loosen two big nuts on the side of it and just let it roll there?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yep. They point it from Florida to here. It had to go through the badlands a little bit, through some swampy terrain. A couple of the. They lost a couple of cars on it for sure.

[Travis McElroy]

What's that? You want it? Oh, no, we can't. That crosses the Grand Canyon. That creates. It's like basically a pothole now.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'll say this all will be forgiven for the sham of this 250th celebration. All will be forgiven if we can ramp this big Ferris wheel over the Grand King.

[Justin McElroy]

That would be so sick.

[Griffin McElroy]

Nothing would be. Nothing would make me prouder. Nor would it be more representative of the American experiment to watch a big Ferris wheel do a huge jump over the Grand Canyon and almost certainly absolutely explode when it lands on the other side.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, but that's fair. Like, if that happens. That's part of it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Get Red Bull on this pronto. We can figure out the logistics on how to get this thing over the landings.

[Travis McElroy]

And literally coded in Red Bull gives you wings.

[Griffin McElroy]

Give it wings to fly.

[Justin McElroy]

If you're curious what the experience of riding the big wheel's like, the wheel's elaborate light show incorporates an effect that mimics sparklers. And it casts its glow on the entire Capitol complex. Especially appropriate to the holiday. The ride has a bottom to the top patriotic theme. Including 45 gondolas decorated in tribute to each of the 45American presidents. Complete with audio mini bios that play during the 10 minute ride.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, no.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, hold on. Can you imagine now? Okay. It's not my experience when waiting in line for a Ferris wheel that I get to pick the car. I don't ever.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't think you're allowed to say,

[Griffin McElroy]

like, whatever you get, keep going, keep going. That one. I think you do. Just gotta hop on.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, it's me, William Harrison.

[Travis McElroy]

I also think that 10 minutes is pretty kind. Meaning every time I've been on a Ferris wheel, if you're the car right after they stop to let the first person off, you're going all the way slowly back around while they unload.

[Justin McElroy]

How do you think Harrison does fill up the tin? He does.

[Griffin McElroy]

He gives you a minute and a half. Well, I won in a landslide.

[Travis McElroy]

People are just crazy about my policy.

[Griffin McElroy]

Then I died. Oh, shit.

[Travis McElroy]

Wear a coat, I guess. What about you? What have you been up to lately?

[Justin McElroy]

Wear a coat is my whole thing, I guess.

[Travis McElroy]

How have things changed in the last. Do you guys have better medicine? Let me tell you some of the cool things I would have done if my presidency did.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think it would have gone a little something like this.

[Travis McElroy]

We would have gone to space in my presidency if I'd still been there.

[Justin McElroy]

It's more than just a ride. Ruby says it's truly an all American

[Travis McElroy]

experience from beginning to end. Yeah. In many ways I would say that's true.

[Justin McElroy]

It will be free while in Charleston. Speaking of.

[Travis McElroy]

It's free.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. Given that the State Capitol complex includes the Governor's mansion. Is Governor Patrick Morrissey expected to take a spin himself?

[Travis McElroy]

Absolutely.

[Justin McElroy]

Ruby says he wouldn't miss it. Limits permitting, I guess. But like.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, but also. Yeah. If he thought about it for two minutes before saying yes to it, he was first in line with his like, I heart Ferris wheel T shirt and his like, Ferris wheel shaped hat and his commemorative Ferris wheel cup.

[Justin McElroy]

Not so fast, Mr.

[Theme Song Singer]

Governor.

[Travis McElroy]

But I.

[Justin McElroy]

Not so fast.

[Travis McElroy]

You have to wait for us to put it together. Go faster. Safety. Safety rules be damned.

[Theme Song Singer]

Mr.

[Travis McElroy]

Governor.

[Justin McElroy]

It's not done. It's in my house. It's in my backyard. The Capitol complex includes the Governor's mansion. This is technically my house. Technically, you have to let me be

[Travis McElroy]

the first one on it every morning. How am I supposed to finish if I'm not on the Ferris wheel?

[Griffin McElroy]

You Just see, as you go to visit, you see him stumbling out of the car, just barfing like. Only nine more presidents to go. I've almost completed the whole set.

[Theme Song Singer]

Fuck.

[Justin McElroy]

Harrison was boring.

[Theme Song Singer]

Hey, guys.

[Justin McElroy]

Don't let people on Harrison. That was so boring.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, guys. I learned some stuff about some of the presidents. It's made me rethink some things.

[Justin McElroy]

Rethink, you know what? History is not kind to some of these decisions.

[Travis McElroy]

I will say, maybe I shouldn't have gotten a two million dollar Ferris wheel. It's this. What are they gonna say in my Ferris wheel gondola about me?

[Griffin McElroy]

Depending on the content of these biographies, we might change some hearts and minds on this Ferris wheel. Like, someone of a certain persuasion might get assigned the Obama Ferris wheel ride and then go around it or the Trump Ferris wheel ride and get off and be like, I had no fucking idea.

[Travis McElroy]

Wow.

[Griffin McElroy]

Holy shit. Guys, we need to have a big family talk right now about our.

[Justin McElroy]

I was curious. I know that at the fair, Griffin won't go over there, even though it's very funny.

[Travis McElroy]

He won't go over.

[Justin McElroy]

So I had to look up for myself what West Virginia's doing.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, no.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. So here's our first thing it is, you know, country roads. Take me home. Here is a driving. It's a driving simulator of country road.

[Griffin McElroy]

Of country road trip. What are they playing there, man? What do we got going? What game are they cooking?

[Justin McElroy]

I'm really. I think it's. I don't know, man. That's hard to say.

[Griffin McElroy]

Come to West Virginia.

[Justin McElroy]

It's a lot like Shenandoah river at the bottom.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay. But like. Yeah, that's fine. But is it like a Forza map?

[Justin McElroy]

What are we doing? We also got. This is good, too.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, cool. Mini golfing kind of thing.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, we got some fake stumps that you could take your picture on. There's also. It doesn't show it in here, but there is also a stuffed black bear that you could take your picture with.

[Travis McElroy]

This really elevating the West Virginia kind of identity there. Thanks, guys.

[Justin McElroy]

The states that didn't show up just have a stamp that has their state name on it.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's just like, I want to bring. I want to get in a time machine. I want to bring back Daniel Burnham from 1890, whenever, and just show him what our version of World's Fair kind of looks like, just to let him know, like, dude, you went way too fucking hard. Like, all the landscaping and stuff. Are you kidding me? Dude, Rhode Island's just got two chairs facing Each other. Cause they didn't really want to rep at the fair. You didn't need to do all the stuff that you did end up doing.

[Justin McElroy]

It would be sick if at West Virginia's booth it was just a big picture of our kick ass wheel. Just like, listen, don't think about anything else with West Virginia. We're starting, starting over. It's the big wheel state.

[Griffin McElroy]

The big wheel state. The rolling state.

[Travis McElroy]

We built a 99% scale model of the giant wheel for this display.

[Justin McElroy]

We dropped the mountain state thing. We don't have mountains. What we did have was a big wheel. Now it's in Wisconsin now, but for one glorious month.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. The wheel rolled over the mountains. Crushed them.

[Griffin McElroy]

Crushed them. We had to blast them, cut them down flat to get this wheel here from Florida.

[Travis McElroy]

Worth it.

[Justin McElroy]

This is.

[Travis McElroy]

We miss it.

[Griffin McElroy]

We can still smell the fresh swamp air in some of the cars.

[Travis McElroy]

Now us in Florida, Wisconsin, we're gonna stand at three different points in a room and call to the wheel and see who it goes to.

[Griffin McElroy]

Exactly.

[Justin McElroy]

I am currently working as a beer merchandise.

[Griffin McElroy]

This is an advice show.

[Justin McElroy]

This is an. Oh, Griffin, thank you.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's just you usually say it and you didn't disagree.

[Justin McElroy]

Usually I say it. Thank you. You're right. This is an advice show. I am currently working as a beer merchandiser. Over the summer, the company I work for sends beer, wine and seltzers to grocery stores and I stock it on the shelves. Yeah, that's what a merchandise.

[Travis McElroy]

That's not the end of the question, though.

[Justin McElroy]

Hold on. Sorry. I thought it was like a definition.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't think I knew what a merchandiser was, so I actually appreciate it.

[Travis McElroy]

Griffin hasn't worked retail, Justin. I haven't.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, that's not true. I worked at GameStop for like two years.

[Travis McElroy]

Doesn't count.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

It's educational opportunity.

[Griffin McElroy]

I took a fucking bullet for my retail job.

[Travis McElroy]

That's not quite true. You hypothetically could.

[Griffin McElroy]

I could have almost taken a bullet for my retail job. So don't sit here and tell me what I can.

[Justin McElroy]

The crosstalk is the worst when it's lying. That's I think when the crosstalk is the worst.

[Griffin McElroy]

When it's, oh, like I interrupted for a nut.

[Justin McElroy]

For a lie.

[Griffin McElroy]

For a sin.

[Justin McElroy]

To sin. You interrupted me to sin. To condemn your soul to hell.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Quite frankly, why? It's called centerrupting.

[Justin McElroy]

Quite frequently. That was the original title of this show. Quite frequently. Customers at the grocery stores I work at will come and ask Me questions about the location of product I have nothing to do with, such as, where are the almonds? Not these almonds, the other ones. Or where are the diced peaches? Most times I can say I simply do not know. But at times, customers will insist I do. Brothers, how am I supposed to deal with customers insisting I know where the secret almonds are? That's for merchandiser misconception in North Carolina. Subtle. I like that.

[Travis McElroy]

Have you got. This isn't the heart of the question, but have you guys ever been in a situation. All right, I Might be alone.

[Justin McElroy]

The Heart of the question was the other alternate title for this show.

[Travis McElroy]

When I'm at a grocery store and I can't find something, it takes a lot of courage and gumption for me to bother an employee to ask a question.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Travis McElroy]

And then the moment when I realize they also don't right away know where the thing is. I wish that there was a code phrase I could give that's like, okay, scrap this whole entire. I actually don't care that much about it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Undo, undo, undo.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I thought you would be able to give me, like, latitude and longitude and I'd go straight there and grab it. But you and I on a hunt together is more burden than I was planning to give you today.

[Griffin McElroy]

I wanna be crystal clear. Because I think a lot of the time these types of behaviors are wrongly categorized as, oh, well, that's just macho, like, man bullshit of, oh, I'm not gonna ask for help to ask where the thing is at the Home Depot. I'm scared to talk to another person. Maybe they're busy. Maybe they don't fucking work there. They just wear the same color shirt as everyone else who works there. There's so many ways this thing can go bad that have nothing to do with pride. It's all fear, baby.

[Travis McElroy]

It's all fear. Maybe they were already helping someone else.

[Griffin McElroy]

Maybe they were already helping someone else and now I look like an asshole. All fear, baby. All the ones.

[Justin McElroy]

Home Depot or Lowe's. Not Home Depot, but Lowe's. Or sometimes, like, any of those home improvement stores, I'm also worried about, like, I'm gonna call it the right thing. Cause if I knew, if I knew exactly what I needed, I would look it up in the app. And the app tells me what aisle it's in, so I don't know what it's called. So. Oh, now I'm having to be like, I need a bent piece of metal with holes on each end.

[Travis McElroy]

And I know there's a Name for it.

[Justin McElroy]

I know something's called, you know, a springy thing that goes between a door with the other end. Where's that?

[Travis McElroy]

Imagine you're working at a theater and you're building weird prop shit, and they ask a question. Well, what are you using it for? And you have to say, well, we're doing a production of Macbeth, and I need a fake pipe bomb.

[Justin McElroy]

Don't have to say.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't know how else to describe what I need.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, because you can't be like, I need a pipe yay large. I need to put. I need it to look like a. What if I was making an exploding pipe for pretend play?

[Justin McElroy]

It's hard, too, because as somebody who's worked a lot of different retail jobs, there are some employees you're going to talk to that absolutely know the store like the back of their hand will tell you exactly where the thing is, because they know it as well as they know their own name. Or it's like me at Best Buy in any department other than media, where it's like, the car stereos. What the fuck? I've never been in there. How would I have any idea? I've never even got. Where is that in the store I work.

[Travis McElroy]

Cause I have a. I have a dude at Lowe's that if I see him, I know that not only does he know the aisle and the section, he'll tell me, what, like, level of the section to look at. And I have talked to him probably 50 times in the last three years. There's no recognition in his eyes when he looks at me. But when I see him, I'm saved. I know.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I've been. I've been spending a lot of time at home improvement stores recently, and. Sorry. Yes, thank you, home. Thank you, Travis. In accordance with the law.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sorry. These stores, we got to be clear, sell merchandise and memorabilia from the home improvement television program. I got one of the planks from Wilson's fence. Cost me $7,000.

[Travis McElroy]

I got Wilson's face.

[Griffin McElroy]

No way.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, it's a chase face.

[Justin McElroy]

It was hard to find, tough to navigate. Home improvement stores are the only stories where they will just all of a sudden be like, this aisle is closed. You cannot shop here. It's crazy. Nobody does that. And then it's like, sometimes there's nobody in there. So it's like, hi, is this part of the source still? I need something from there. And then if you have to, if somebody clocks you looking, then it's like,

[Griffin McElroy]

hey, don't even think about it.

[Justin McElroy]

Don't even Think about it yet.

[Travis McElroy]

We might be using it. Yeah, we might be using Big Joe or whatever it's called to grab this thing down.

[Justin McElroy]

This really got me. There was an aisle closed that I really needed something from. And I waited for a long time for them to open it back up. And I was like, I really need. And then they had a machine in the other side in the adjacent aisle. And I was thinking like, God, guys, this is ridiculous. Just let me in here. And I was almost about to be frustrated. And then I realized what they were doing was going up, way up to the top. And if they had messed that up, they would have pushed it over into the next aisle that I was so desperate to get my fucking foam out of or whatever. And it's like, yeah, you know what? I should have trusted you.

[Theme Song Singer]

Los.

[Justin McElroy]

You knew what you were doing. I'm sorry.

[Travis McElroy]

And he should have stayed on the forklift. And he had a rough night last night. So we need to close three aisles.

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, yeah. We don't know what this cat's gonna do. He could take a fridge out.

[Travis McElroy]

He took out the entire dark sunglasses. We don't know where he's even looking right now.

[Griffin McElroy]

Who we got on inventory? Oh, Dizzy Derek, no. Shut down. That whole wing of the store is gone for Disney. Derek, the doors off limits.

[Justin McElroy]

Get your screws from Target.

[Travis McElroy]

Everybody out to the garden center.

[Justin McElroy]

Go to the garden center.

[Travis McElroy]

Evacuate. You might be safe there.

[Justin McElroy]

No, it's a load bearing pergola. Derek, you're gonna.

[Travis McElroy]

We've talked about this.

[Griffin McElroy]

Derek.

[Justin McElroy]

We talked about that. Goddamn it.

[Travis McElroy]

Watch what I can do. Derek, no.

[Justin McElroy]

God. If his dad didn't own the store.

[Travis McElroy]

This happened. When I worked at Best Buy. It did not matter what someone was wearing. If people saw them putting stuff on shelves or taking stuff on shelves, the assumption was this cat nose thing. I've been places in regular clothes, and people have asked me where things are.

[Griffin McElroy]

You have the stink of retail all about you, Travis.

[Travis McElroy]

I do. I carry that with me. I can't shake it.

[Justin McElroy]

It's an energy.

[Travis McElroy]

And I man, just say like, yeah. I just focus on the beer. All I know is the beer.

[Justin McElroy]

It's awkward, though, because you have two choices. One is. I don't know. Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

I mean, that's a little.

[Justin McElroy]

I get it. That's probably the fair, reasonable thing to do. The hard thing is most stores are like. Like a lot of grocery stores especially are labeled in such a way that if you will take a couple seconds and just like, orient yourself and look at a sign. But then if you Start doing that and the person clocks you. It's like, well, I could have.

[Travis McElroy]

I could have looked at this.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay, but. Yeah, but that is what to do. You look at the sign. I don't know.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's what you do.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. When it retroactively makes it. Even if I've been walking the aisles for, like, 15 minutes looking for a thing, and then I ask someone and then they're doing the same thing I did, I want to, like, just stop and be like, hey, before we continue this journey together, I want you to know that I did this, too. And maybe I'm not saying you should stop. I just don't want you to think you were my first stop before I looked at the headings on everything.

[Justin McElroy]

Talk about these invisible borders to people who have trouble interacting in the world. Another thing at these home improvement stores is a lot of products aren't ready for you to buy it. There's one more step where you gotta get somebody and say, hey, cut this to what I want it. When I see that, what I think is, no, I will buy something else. I can't buy this. I can't go get a guy to do the thing. I will buy the standard size thing

[Travis McElroy]

and have it be wrong. Find this key, get somebody with a key to unlock this thing. Becomes, do I need more stuff in my life? Perhaps my life is already too late.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't actually need to find somebody with a key.

[Griffin McElroy]

Justin, if I'm not mistaken, you seized the means of production just so you would not have to ask someone for help cutting wood to specific sizes.

[Justin McElroy]

Right. This is why I fabricate. Yes, I will fabricate it myself. Thank you.

[Travis McElroy]

I knew that's why I learned lock picking.

[Griffin McElroy]

I want to remind you. And I'm sure your bosses would be happy to do this, too. And maybe the grocery store doesn't want you to do this. You're not just in merchandising. You're also in sales. This is an opportunity. Oh, you don't want almonds. Gross. Have you tried a beer,

[Justin McElroy]

dude? You don't.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, you wanted. You wanted crunchy nuts. That's fine and all, but you know,

[Justin McElroy]

I can't help you with that. But I can't help you take the edge off.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, you're going to be really disappointed that you couldn't find those almonds tonight. It's going to be a hard day for you. You're going to have a lot to come back from. Try this seltzer. It's not going to replace the almonds, but it will fill A void in your heart from not being able to find them.

[Justin McElroy]

You should be allowed, if you are a beer merchandiser, you should be allowed to once a day. Just once a day someone says something and you're like, hey, I know what might help.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

One.

[Justin McElroy]

Just once a day, you should be legally allowed to crack open one and just hand it to somebody in the store.

[Travis McElroy]

This is going to make the searching feel a lot more fun. Goodbye.

[Justin McElroy]

Where do you keep the Pokemon cards?

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, don't worry. Don't worry about that. Those will depreciate in value. You're not going to get it. Charizard. Have you tried a big beer? Have you tried a big cold beer?

[Travis McElroy]

A big beer for beer.

[Justin McElroy]

Have alcohol anymore? You just pass it over. Just pass it over to them.

[Griffin McElroy]

Don't give beer to kids.

[Justin McElroy]

I suspect my partner is learning to juggle in secret. The problem is that he's still learning and keeps dropping the pins late at night while he practices.

[Griffin McElroy]

We live in not much of a fucking secret.

[Justin McElroy]

Why is he starting with pins? There's a 500 square foot apartment with wooden floors. So the sound wakes up both me and our dog who proceeds to bark until the juggling stops. Brothers, how do I help my partner get better at juggling so he stops dropping things without telling him I know about his secret hobby and or embarrassing him. That's from Sleepless and Silver Spring.

[Travis McElroy]

When I was in college, I took up throwing knives and I practiced in my dorm room. Cause there was a corkboard on the wall. And eventually Ras wise that when I say eventually, within 10 minutes Ras came by and they were like, stop, what are you doing in here? And I said, putting up posters in the corkboard. And they said it's really loud. And I said yeah, having a hard time getting these thumbtacks to stick. And they looked at me and I looked at them and then they realized they didn't care and they left. And what I mean to say here is learning to juggle in secret is a really good lie about something else. This person might.

[Griffin McElroy]

There's for sure something else going. They are running a speakeasy candlepin bowling situation up on the higher floor of your lodging.

[Justin McElroy]

That's.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's one. That's only one option.

[Justin McElroy]

Why not something softer if you left, maybe in a passive way, just a bunch of soft balls around. Yeah, like is there a passive tasteful way to just have bunches of soft balls?

[Travis McElroy]

Did their uncle who owned a bowling alley die and leave a bowl?

[Griffin McElroy]

Travis, I feel like you didn't even think about if there was a tasteful way to leave a bunch of softballs around. Yeah, if you immediately jumped up, sometimes

[Justin McElroy]

it starts to feel like we're just saying different ideas.

[Travis McElroy]

But there's gotta be a way to

[Griffin McElroy]

leave a bunch of soft balls around in a manner that is.

[Travis McElroy]

We're talking about balls that are soft, not softballs, right?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, well, softballs.

[Justin McElroy]

Softballs would make hard, which is great.

[Griffin McElroy]

They make less sound. But yeah, I mean, but you gotta be careful. You don't wanna give them one of those, like, sets of klutz balls. Cause who wants to be called a klutz by the juggling items they just bought?

[Travis McElroy]

You need to secretly take up hacky sack, right? And then let your partner find your soft balls lying around. And then you own up to hacky sacking. Like, I've been trying to learn hacky sack in secret, but now, if I'm being honest, I bought too many soft balls. And, like, you can really only hacky one sack at a time. I don't know what I'm gonna do with all these other soft balls lying around.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't know if hacky sacks are regulation sized juggle balls. Just one issue with the plane, okay?

[Travis McElroy]

I try to play in the space. You guys yelled at me about not playing in the space. I played in the space. And then Griffin's giving me regulations.

[Justin McElroy]

I've turned on Griffin. I'm not.

[Travis McElroy]

It's crazy regulations.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm helping. What I did was helpful. I said, do a different idea. That one won't work. That's helping. That's not like. That's not just. What do you got there, Justin?

[Justin McElroy]

Wrist support?

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, I thought you were, like, pulling out something to juggle. Honest to God, dude, I think I've been waiting with bated breath for you to be like some juggle balls like these guys.

[Travis McElroy]

The turn, the prestige.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't know how to juggle.

[Theme Song Singer]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

Sorry.

[Griffin McElroy]

Sure. Dude.

[Justin McElroy]

I have tried. I mean, like, listen, if we had. If I had not tried and failed to learn to juggle so many times, I don't think I would have been as hard on jugglers as I have been over the years.

[Travis McElroy]

Is it possible, Justin, like, rookie of the year now that you've had your carpal tunnel surgery, you're, like, going to pick him up and be like, holy shit, he's super good at juggle. They tightened some stuff in there. Yeah, and his. His juggling reflexes are faster than they've ever been.

[Justin McElroy]

How.

[Griffin McElroy]

Why.

[Justin McElroy]

Why wasn't rookie of the year? It would be sick if the rookie had just been a remake of Rookie of the Year about an old man that gets a surgery that makes him good at pitching. That would be a better flick, right? Like. Yeah, it's just that I get a 45 year old Justin McIlroy type, gets the surgery.

[Griffin McElroy]

Stepping in for Dennis Quaid, I believe.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Who was the rookie.

[Travis McElroy]

They get called to the same auditions all the time.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Here's the thing about it that really twists this into like fun territory. He doesn't really understand the rules of baseball.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

So as long as they want him to keep pitching it in the square, he can do that, no problem.

[Travis McElroy]

But if one of the gentlemen starts

[Justin McElroy]

to take a different bag that they prefer, then he's not going to be able. He just not going to be aware of.

[Travis McElroy]

Know how to.

[Griffin McElroy]

Hey, that guy's on the wrong side. That guy's on the wrong side of the place.

[Travis McElroy]

He's running.

[Justin McElroy]

What's he doing? Stop. Is this okay?

[Travis McElroy]

Is he allowed to do that? Oh, he just slid into the dirt pretty hard.

[Justin McElroy]

Hey, hey.

[Travis McElroy]

Cheetah.

[Justin McElroy]

Seiko. Throw him out.

[Travis McElroy]

Cheeto.

[Justin McElroy]

Pete Rose. Cris Sabo. Throw him out, somebody.

[Griffin McElroy]

Oh, that's four. How many other baseball players?

[Justin McElroy]

There's five.

[Travis McElroy]

David Ortiz.

[Justin McElroy]

I only know the ones that are in the Simpsons baseball episodes. So it's like that or if they've been on Shark Tank.

[Griffin McElroy]

Darryl, only Strawberry.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. That's seven.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes.

[Travis McElroy]

Ramirez, eight. I'm trying to remember other Boston Red Sox who won the world's

[Griffin McElroy]

the big unit.

[Travis McElroy]

The guy with the long hair.

[Justin McElroy]

Randy Johnson.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Guy with the long hair. Look like what?

[Griffin McElroy]

That's eight.

[Justin McElroy]

I mean, I could do, right.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think we've done like 12 now. We gotta.

[Justin McElroy]

I gotta start line up sorta.

[Travis McElroy]

No, he wasn't manager.

[Griffin McElroy]

La Forge. Yeah. He's in Star Trek.

[Travis McElroy]

He played baseball a lot, I bet.

[Justin McElroy]

Are the pins hidden? This is what's weird to me. Are the pins hidden away? Or do we all know about the bowling pins? Do you know what I'm saying? Like, are they.

[Griffin McElroy]

What was not included in this email is what is the excuse your partner is giving when you're like, hey, what the fuck was that noise? I would have loved some supplemental information here of like, when I pressure them about it, they say, like, sorry, I dropped all of my, you know, tea kettles, my collector tea kettle set. All my Bratz dolls fell off the shelf. Like, what are they saying?

[Travis McElroy]

As someone who has cohabitated with a partner for a long time, were I to be dropping several bowling pins an evening in a 500 square foot apartment. After a few days of them not asking me about it, I'm going to start to think something's up with them.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Theme Song Singer]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Why aren't they more curious?

[Travis McElroy]

They've definitely heard me drop these bowling pins in our 500 square foot apartment.

[Justin McElroy]

It's a cry for help. I mean, help me from learning to juggle.

[Travis McElroy]

Please help me.

[Griffin McElroy]

Valerie, this may be your last chance to intervene, because once they're good, they're not going to be making much noise.

[Justin McElroy]

When they juggle, you don't hear it anymore. That's the tragic thing about it. You can only, like, you can stop it early, but when it's too far gone, you don't even know when they're juggling anymore. You could turn away and they'd be juggling.

[Travis McElroy]

Time lost is cool. Lost.

[Justin McElroy]

Yep. Yep.

[Griffin McElroy]

They're gonna say, oh, babe, it's just my first time doing it. I was just experimenting and I won't do it again. It's not the first time they're doing it. It's the first time they got caught doing it. This has been happening for a long, long time.

[Justin McElroy]

It's actually the 10th time they got caught. And it's just the first time you felt the energy to go up and see what was happening because you have caught them many times and just thought like, well, maybe next time.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, babe, what are you doing? Because I will say, in their defense, learning to juggle, especially bowling pins, is not something I would want to do in front of someone. I would want to continue to find me attractive. Yeah, Right. Because there is that immediate.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Even the first hundred throws, and you don't get it. There's a feeling in the room of, like, I should stop this. Right?

[Justin McElroy]

This isn't for me. I mean, I can. Yes. I will tell you, Travis, from experience.

[Theme Song Singer]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, for sure.

[Justin McElroy]

100%. Hey, would it be all right with you guys if we took a quick break for our sponsors to support us and our work and then came back and did more shows?

[Griffin McElroy]

How about that?

[Theme Song Singer]

It's better. It's better.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't know about you, Justin, but I keep getting older. Have you noticed this about yourself?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. It's unfortunate, man.

[Travis McElroy]

And I need doctors now more than ever.

[Justin McElroy]

Now more than ever, doctors are keeping Travis going.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes. Every day there's a new thing that hurts and is uncomfortable and shouldn't. It's never felt like that before and now feels like it. And what can you do about it, Trav?

[Justin McElroy]

We need to pivot to the solution

[Travis McElroy]

because everybody's I don't know, Justin, because I don't know how to find any gay.

[Justin McElroy]

Let me do it, then I'll do it. Tell you about Zocdoc. Zocdoc is a service that helps you find the doctor that's perfect for you. So if you've got something going on in your life, you're like, I don't know the appropriate physician for this. Maybe you just move to a new place or you want to mix up your care, whatever.

[Travis McElroy]

You need a complicated team of medical experts to keep your various machinations and parts going.

[Justin McElroy]

Got new insurance. Whatever the case may be, Zocdoc lets you search and compare your local in network doctors. So, like, you, you look around, you say, hey, these are the ones that work for me. And then they are going to help you find them and help you get set up with the people that are going to get you the appropriate care. You can see actual appointment openings and click to book a visit, usually within like 24 to 72 hours, which is pretty cool, I think, if you're. It can be kind of overwhelming, I think, to find a position to find the appropriate one for you. And Zocdoc really does make it easy. Your health care.

[Travis McElroy]

This was so important to Justin that when he found a physician, he married her. Just to know, like, that's where my physician is.

[Justin McElroy]

That predated Zocdoc. But, like, it would have made it a lot easier, I think. Yeah, your health matters and taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated. Find and book the right doctor with ZocDoc. Head to ZocDoc.com MyBrother to get started and check that appointment off your to do list. That's z o c-o c.com mybrother Now,

[Travis McElroy]

Justin, we've talked about Squarespace many, many times, and perhaps there are people listening who have heard it but haven't really listened. But, Justin, I want to ask you, what is this that I'm holding right here in my hands?

[Justin McElroy]

Well, Travis, that's the iHeartMedia best podcast read Award.

[Travis McElroy]

Best Ad Read Award. That's right. Right here. You know what that means?

[Justin McElroy]

What does that mean?

[Travis McElroy]

It means we know what the fuck we're talking about when we talk about ads.

[Justin McElroy]

There you go.

[Travis McElroy]

Jesus. And our sponsors. So when we tell you that Squarespace fucking rules, that's coming from someone with the hardware to prove that they know what they're talking about.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's like really intense. I don't know that they wanted this intense. I mean, they've stuck with this Thick and through thin. No.

[Travis McElroy]

Squarespace is great, all right? You'll like it. It gives you everything you need to offer service.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's not good, but it's a better energy.

[Travis McElroy]

Then I love Squarespace like a brother.

[Griffin McElroy]

Good love is better. You get more sticky.

[Travis McElroy]

I would kill someone to support Squarespace.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's too far. You went too far.

[Justin McElroy]

You know again, Travis, you ever shot it?

[Travis McElroy]

I would injure someone to support Squarespace. No. No, I don't.

[Griffin McElroy]

I would make them hurt. I would make. I would make someone hurt for Squarespace. I hurt him for Squarespace.

[Justin McElroy]

You'd hurt somebody for Squarespace?

[Griffin McElroy]

I would hurt a person for Squarespace.

[Travis McElroy]

Wow. Like, if they asked you to or defend their honor or.

[Griffin McElroy]

I do anything. I do anything they ask me to. This is one of the longest term healthiest relationships I've ever had, is with Squarespace. And I would hurt some. I would hurt a person for them.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

Wow.

[Griffin McElroy]

But that's the opposite of what they're about. They're all about helping people and helping to make great websites.

[Travis McElroy]

That's why they have Griffin to do the herding for them.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Yeah. They need me. They need me to do this dark fucking work.

[Travis McElroy]

Griffin. Squarespace is wetworks guy. Wet. That's weird.

[Justin McElroy]

You don't hear much about geocities these days.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, weird.

[Justin McElroy]

Griffa lands. That's what happened.

[Griffin McElroy]

The Griffa came storming down the mount. That's what happened. I said, the storm's coming, but I took it back from QAnon. They said that now it means a different thing.

[Justin McElroy]

Seems unlikely.

[Griffin McElroy]

QAnon's done. And so I went in there and I picked and choose the best parts of it. Like, the storm's coming and I hit my elbow to let them know I would hurt someone for squares and they need me to do this work. They will say they don't want me to do this work, but they need me to do this work for them. They need it. It's necessary.

[Travis McElroy]

And they also work for you. See how I turn that around?

[Griffin McElroy]

Did you say the hyperlink?

[Travis McElroy]

I will.

[Justin McElroy]

I would like. Yeah. I mean, I'll say it again, though. Everybody knows how we feel about Squarespace. We use them. We love them. They are the only reason the show continues.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Probably head to squarespace.com mybrother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code mybrother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Have another question?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yes. Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm a doordash delivery driver and I Love getting.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you for your service.

[Justin McElroy]

People's cute pets. When I drop food off, I usually take a minute to try to get the pet in my drop off photo. I love that.

[Travis McElroy]

I like that too.

[Justin McElroy]

I like being in my own drop off photos. You guys ever do that?

[Travis McElroy]

No. Got it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thumbs up. Love it.

[Justin McElroy]

I can't wait to eat this spaghetti.

[Travis McElroy]

But I do like the idea of my dog being in the photo. Like my dog answered the door. I think that that's awesome.

[Justin McElroy]

That's cool. I just tried to get an especially excited dog in the shot and got a little too excited and pushed the door open and the door slammed shut behind it. The dog's now out here with me. Get off your phone. And my knocks and calls for the owner go unheeded. Do I just leave the dog out here? Certainly not. Do I fully open the door. Front door. To let the dog back in? Is this my dog now? That's from Paused in Pennsylvania.

[Griffin McElroy]

Huh?

[Travis McElroy]

You watch your doors.

[Justin McElroy]

You messed up.

[Griffin McElroy]

Clearly. No. Yeah, but it's not their fault. Let's rank the three options they gave us before I think we hop into it.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I would say.

[Griffin McElroy]

I would say is this my dog now? Is obviously the most sinister of the questions presented here.

[Justin McElroy]

For sure.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's theft. You don't want to do that. Do I leave the dog out here? That's animal endangerment. So I would rank that around number two and I would say maybe your least bad option here is to break and enter for good. For a good purpose. For a good purpose.

[Travis McElroy]

Here's what I'll say. I know for a fact exterior front doors open inward. So this must be like a screen door or glass door scenario. I feel less weird about you opening that. If the front door is open right then you're just opening a screen door. Like a glass exterior door.

[Griffin McElroy]

Dude, screen doors are not vampire rules don't apply to screen doors. If the front door is open and a vampire sees that, they can swing that little rusty son of a bitch

[Justin McElroy]

out of the screen door is just for bugs.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's just to keep bugs out. Not people, vampires or anything else.

[Justin McElroy]

It's just bugs.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, no, no.

[Justin McElroy]

Vampires don't have to obey screen door.

[Griffin McElroy]

No way, dude. They can mist right through those.

[Justin McElroy]

So if an 8 year old Griffin can walk through it, you don't need to honor as a vampire.

[Griffin McElroy]

First of all, I was much older than 8 years old when I walked through and destroyed our Uncle David's screen door at his nice house in Florida.

[Justin McElroy]

Thank you for coming.

[Travis McElroy]

Is that better? Griffin, is it better that you.

[Griffin McElroy]

I was at least 15.

[Justin McElroy]

Don't interrupt him.

[Griffin McElroy]

I was at least 15 or 16, and I did see his cool golf cart in the driveway. And I yelled grand Theft Auto. And I jumped through his screen door with aplomb. And he got angry at me.

[Justin McElroy]

Griffin in those days always had a plum in his hand. He's just a little scamp. Always had a little plum and he'd be nibbling on him.

[Griffin McElroy]

He loves his fresh Georgia plums. And he got madder at me than I think is appropriate for a family member to get mad at another family member.

[Travis McElroy]

Madder that Griffin than our father ever got mad at any of the three of us for any of the stupid shit.

[Griffin McElroy]

The maddest a family member has ever been at me. And he got only, I will say madder when I tried to call to apologize and ended up laughing through the apology. He was PO'd, that one. I don't blame him. But the other one, I'm. Hey, Dave, I'm family, man.

[Travis McElroy]

Better than I ever saw Uncle Dave get about anything else, which makes sense. Do you think that maybe Uncle Dave had beef with Griffin that he was keeping seething under the surface?

[Griffin McElroy]

I think he maybe just hates bugs. And it was a new door.

[Travis McElroy]

It was a new door. I do remember that. It was a new door.

[Griffin McElroy]

It was a brand new door, and he hates bugs. And I jumped right through it. And I did yell grand Theft Auto, which makes it sound premeditated. And I was talking about the game and not the crime, but really, what was I do? What was I doing? I don't know.

[Travis McElroy]

Know.

[Griffin McElroy]

I can't Monday morning quarterback this one. Except to say, uncle Dave, take a chill pill, buddy.

[Justin McElroy]

I think it's good to get this off my chest.

[Griffin McElroy]

Rarely is this show a place of familial healing. And now I feel like we've made space for that. And I appreciate it so much from you guys.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

On this week's heavyweight, Griffin deals with

[Justin McElroy]

screen door Uncle Dave.

[Griffin McElroy]

Griffin asked his Uncle Dave from, like, 17 years ago to take a fucking chill pill, dude. It is not that big a deal, man.

[Justin McElroy]

That would be a better. Like. That would be a good version of heavyweight if it was just people calling to let people apologize to them.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I believe there's something you wanted to

[Travis McElroy]

say to me, Uncle Dave, that did.

[Justin McElroy]

Through your memories, you'll find it to be so. I'm sure it keeps you up at night.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm ready whenever you are. Let the apology begin.

[Travis McElroy]

I own two dogs. One of them like a 75 pound, very rambunctious, excitable beast named Lily. If this dog is able to push the door open on its own. First of all, not the first time this has happened.

[Griffin McElroy]

No way.

[Travis McElroy]

Second of all, latch your dog. Let the dog back in. That person's listening.

[Justin McElroy]

You gotta understand that person.

[Griffin McElroy]

The person who owns the house and the dog isn't listening. We can't talk to them.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, let the dog back in. If my dog got out. Let the dog back in. And maybe with a note that says, like, do better. Got out again.

[Justin McElroy]

Better.

[Griffin McElroy]

Do better. Latch it. Idiot.

[Justin McElroy]

On every gift receiving occasion, the dog

[Travis McElroy]

will eat the food. The dog will eat the food. Put the dog back inside. Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

On every gift receiving occasion, my brother spends an eternity opening his presents because he insists on untying every knot and loosening every bit of tape. What's a fun and inventive way I can make sure I don't spend endless hours watching someone open a gift that's from outraged observer in Oslo. That's fascinating that this is still a problem in other countries. Everybody's still doing gifts.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay, this is interesting because I thought for sure we'd all kind of approach this from a different, pretty aggressive manner. But it sounds like you're aligned with this person and their feelings.

[Justin McElroy]

Sorry, my comment, Griffin, I think you may have misunderstood. I was just thinking like, wow, global reach.

[Travis McElroy]

You know what I mean?

[Justin McElroy]

That's all.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, that our show is reaching on.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, just like, cool.

[Griffin McElroy]

I mean, like, okay, yeah, I misinterpreted the comments.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah. I was like, also, people are doing gifts. It's like, wow, it's a problem everywhere. But it was like, wow, we've really made an impact. You know, I think that was more or recognition.

[Griffin McElroy]

How many presents, not counting Christmas, because Christmas, you. We expect this to go long. But how many presents are y' all opening in a given year? We could take a monthly average. Although most. I'll say this, guys, I go entire months without opening a present.

[Travis McElroy]

Well, I get presents for myself all the time.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, do you wrap them and put shit on them?

[Travis McElroy]

Depends on how spicy I'm feeling.

[Griffin McElroy]

No, crazy. You absolutely don't. I'm trying to be vulnerable and ask a real question.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't wrap anything all year. Maybe at Christmas I will wrap some things, but other than that, it is just gift bags. Well, you rap.

[Griffin McElroy]

Well, you rap about the gospel.

[Travis McElroy]

That's true.

[Justin McElroy]

That's true, Griffin. I rap about my relationship with Jesus Christ and my very, very traditional interpretation of his teachings. So, yes, I do Rap about that.

[Griffin McElroy]

All I'm saying is.

[Justin McElroy]

And about gender roles, like, I do rap about those things.

[Griffin McElroy]

He didn't say much about that.

[Travis McElroy]

O L L S. Justin loves begging. Gender roles. Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

These are. If you haven't had them, they're great.

[Travis McElroy]

Is gift bags also a thing? Gift bags?

[Justin McElroy]

I feel like gift bags is a way of saying I want to keep the surprise, but I'm not going to expend any energy towards it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, right.

[Travis McElroy]

Especially now my children have reached an age where they get invited to birthday parties regularly. School age. And the moment of like, oh, shit, that kid's birthday party's tomorrow. Right. I'm not wrapping anything for them.

[Griffin McElroy]

If I get a beautiful parcel that's all taped up just the way I like, let me have the time. I want to enjoy revealing it. I think that that's a. I think that's not an outrageous ask. I'm not opening presents most months. You can sit there for a minute and a half while I undo it. Like I'm doing some sort of burlesque routine for my present. Allow me the time and space that I need for this, because I don't have a lot going on right now. You know what I mean?

[Travis McElroy]

What if you got so good at wrapping a gift that you could do it all ribbon and everything with one piece of tape?

[Griffin McElroy]

That's crazy.

[Travis McElroy]

Then it, like, folds around. You've cut it into, like, an octagon shape that folds around the bottom.

[Justin McElroy]

What is it?

[Travis McElroy]

And the wrapping.

[Griffin McElroy]

What if you could eat the wrapping paper when you were done with it?

[Justin McElroy]

Lickable wrapping paper. The straws taste like straws.

[Griffin McElroy]

The present inside could be a hoverboard that lets you fly around the city.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay, well, now, when you guys go

[Justin McElroy]

to birthday parties with your kids, by and large, are people opening presents at the parties? Cause I'm seeing a wild disparity in this.

[Griffin McElroy]

Okay.

[Justin McElroy]

I'm seeing. It's all over the map. At parties that I have been to, it seems like people are opening, not opening. Where are we at?

[Travis McElroy]

The only time we open is, like, in the small family, you know, the grandparents. Right. Because it's like, the grandparents need to see that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

And it's fine. I get that. But no, with Kit. No. First of all, one, I don't want to assume every kid is able to bring the same kind of gift and everything, or that they. Everybody will bring gifts. It's not expected.

[Justin McElroy]

Anybody wants to watch that.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

That's the other thing, man. You are basically. It's like if you fed one wolf out of hungry wolves at a time. And you're like, hey, you ate other hungry wolves. Just watch me feed this one wolf.

[Justin McElroy]

I want to go, great, before I start complaining about it then. If that's where we're all at. Why does it seem like there's always one fucking person at every party that's like, well, shouldn't we. Shouldn't we start to. Shouldn't everybody gather around to start opening? Shouldn't we.

[Griffin McElroy]

They know they. Shut up.

[Travis McElroy]

They're also the person who says, and that big one is from us.

[Griffin McElroy]

They know they did a kick ass job. They know they did a kick ass job. The thing we're not saying, but I think we all feel in our hearts, and I bet every parent does, is that I can't guarantee the reaction either of my beautiful boys are going to be gonna be satisfactory to. I already have this slime. Like, they're not. They won't do it. Exactly. 36.

[Travis McElroy]

Last year I had 37. Oh, no, boys don't.

[Griffin McElroy]

Not quite that diabolical. But we had one birthday where two different kids and an extended family member all sent one of my beautiful boys the same stomp rocket where you stomp on a thing and it shoots rocket way up in the sky. I love those. I don't think we can get enough of them because so many of these things end up on the goddamn roof. When I bring my powerful boot down to launch it with special boot that you wear. My special boot. And my kids want to see how strong I am. I'll show you. But that shit's going to go right on the roof. I want as many rockets as I can get my hands on. But the kids are going to. Okay.

[Travis McElroy]

And my kids will say it with

[Griffin McElroy]

no mouth or judgment. I have this. Oh, damn.

[Travis McElroy]

I already have this. And when that happens, you will see Theresa and I lock eyes from across the room and, like, look at bb and she'll look at me and I'm like, mm, mm.

[Griffin McElroy]

Don't say it. Don't do it.

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, yeah. Just like the one I already have. I love it.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's a better version, huh?

[Travis McElroy]

Okay. Yeah. Okay, cool. And then Teresa and I will say something along the lines of, yeah, but who knows where that other one is.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, that one's broken and sucks. The one you have now sucks. We all have been saying, actually, honey,

[Justin McElroy]

I think that broke.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, I burned it.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, pretty sure it broke. Before we wrap, I just wanted. This is like. I just want to. I. This was in my desk, and I didn't want to lose Track of it real quick. I want to tell you guys about Camilo. It's a hundred doll watch.

[Travis McElroy]

Justin, I'm going to interrupt you real quick. If you guys haven't watched the video Justin posted where Sydney opens the haunted doll with, like, that, the crocheted slinky clown thing.

[Griffin McElroy]

He's right there behind him. You can call him.

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah. Her facial reactions are so good watching because it feels like both the judgment of the haunted doll and Justin's life choices. I love it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

This one today is Camilo. And I wanted to talk about Camilo because this is really very fat and very, very interesting story.

[Travis McElroy]

Who's on that Raisin Bran box, Justin?

[Justin McElroy]

Oh, you'd like to talk about buying commemorative Raisin Bran box. Thanks, Jeff.

[Griffin McElroy]

Scary to have a haunted doll on the screen while we're looking at the Raisin Bran box. Who is. Hold on, let me pin you.

[Travis McElroy]

Okay.

[Griffin McElroy]

What are we looking at here?

[Travis McElroy]

It's William Shatner. Okay. It says Will Shat. He did a Raisin Bran promotion.

[Griffin McElroy]

Help Will Shaq keep his mission moving. So that's William Shatner. Oh.

[Travis McElroy]

Cause it says right on the front there, high fiber, half gone.

[Griffin McElroy]

Shat's daily log. Like he's shitting Will Shat. I don't want to. Why would Raisin Bran. Is that a joke box? Or did Raisin Bran really want.

[Justin McElroy]

That's commemorative.

[Travis McElroy]

You can get it on Walmart about Will Shatner.

[Griffin McElroy]

But Raisin Bran was like, I already bought it.

[Travis McElroy]

Not that one.

[Griffin McElroy]

We know what Will Move product is people thinking about Will Shatner's move key.

[Travis McElroy]

I don't know.

[Griffin McElroy]

Gross, dude.

[Justin McElroy]

People like Star Trek.

[Griffin McElroy]

They don't. I like Star Trek. Okay? I don't like thinking about this old man's poop.

[Justin McElroy]

I mean, people aren't.

[Griffin McElroy]

It certainly doesn't make me. It certainly doesn't whip the appetite.

[Justin McElroy]

I don't see why they wouldn't.

[Griffin McElroy]

Back to the haunted doll. Back to Camilla.

[Justin McElroy]

I didn't bring up the William Shadder commemorative Raisin Bran box. That's for my cereal podcast.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Justin McElroy]

Meet Camilo. Meet Camilo.

[Griffin McElroy]

I don't want to.

[Justin McElroy]

I acquired Camilo. This is it. I acquired Camilo in the kind of way that makes your stomach drop before your mind can catch up. What?

[Travis McElroy]

Oh, it was on the Hollywood Tower of Terror.

[Justin McElroy]

She came from a private seller who refused to list her publicly. Someone who messaged me late at night saying, I don't want her in my home. Another sunrise. No photos of her.

[Travis McElroy]

Wait, why sunrise?

[Justin McElroy]

Not another sunrise. A small antique doll with glass eyes. That quote shifted on their own. And a presence that made the seller's pets refuse to enter the room.

[Travis McElroy]

That would imply not another sunrise implies. Like, it's the middle of the night. Come right now.

[Griffin McElroy]

She sleeps at night. This is the only time I can contain her.

[Travis McElroy]

Drive across state lines and get this doll right now.

[Justin McElroy]

Okay. When the box arrived, it was wrapped in layers of cloth and twine, as if the previous owner believed containment mattered.

[Travis McElroy]

It took forever for my brother in law to open it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Such a dick.

[Justin McElroy]

The moment I lifted her out, the air around me tightened.

[Theme Song Singer]

Whoa.

[Travis McElroy]

The air around me tightened.

[Griffin McElroy]

What's that feeling?

[Justin McElroy]

Her name wasn't given, but the energy that rolled off her whispered one word over and over. Camilo. Camilo. Camilo.

[Travis McElroy]

Camilo. Camilo.

[Justin McElroy]

Camilo. Camilo.

[Griffin McElroy]

Don't get. Don't you dare get asmr. To that weirdo.

[Justin McElroy]

Camilo's origins are tangled in witchcraft and old world dark magic. With a J and a king she crafted.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's the best kind of dark magic. Don't even fucking come at me with your dark magic if it's not from the old country.

[Justin McElroy]

She was crafted in the late 1800s by a practitioner who specialized in binding spirits. Not benevolent ones, but those pulled from the edges of curses, grief and shadow work gone wrong.

[Travis McElroy]

You know, that was such a niche profession back then. But you could make a living on it. And I think that that says a lot about how the economy has changed.

[Griffin McElroy]

I think the economy could also benefit having more skilled trade crafters.

[Travis McElroy]

Bring back American production.

[Griffin McElroy]

Bring back American production of spirit vessels.

[Justin McElroy]

The spirit that took root in Camilo was said to be a fragment of a woman who practiced blood rites and sympathetic magic with a K, but a G. Said like here.

[Griffin McElroy]

Kind of interesting.

[Travis McElroy]

This doll is 200 years old. Who was there? That's like, hey, I'm going to say this to you. It was a fragment of the soul of a woman.

[Justin McElroy]

She was feared in her village for her ability to hex crops, twist luck, and manipulate dreams. When she died, her followers attempted to preserve her power by anchoring her essence into an object. Camilo was the result. Her original keeper disappeared within months. Every owner after that either sold her quietly or abandoned her entirely. She has never stayed anywhere long. Until she came to me. Then why fuck are you ebaying her?

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, you know what I mean.

[Travis McElroy]

She just got settled and now I'm looking to turn a profit.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah, times are tight.

[Justin McElroy]

Well, there was a of things also,

[Travis McElroy]

if I was Camilo at this point, yeah, I'd be a little miffed I would make some people's life. I'm getting bounced around abandonment issues.

[Griffin McElroy]

Camilo just looking for a forever home.

[Travis McElroy]

Give me some stability.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, that's cool. Camilla's not a passive spear.

[Griffin McElroy]

If I collect all the fragments.

[Justin McElroy]

Uh huh.

[Griffin McElroy]

Can I put the witch back together?

[Travis McElroy]

How big will she be?

[Justin McElroy]

She's eight feet tall.

[Travis McElroy]

Yes.

[Justin McElroy]

You can make an eight foot tall Galactus. If you get all the witches. Each one has a different piece.

[Griffin McElroy]

Awesome. How many fragments we talk in here? Because I could do. I could do. I could find eight dolls on eBay. But if it's like if they really exploded this lady.

[Theme Song Singer]

Yeah.

[Griffin McElroy]

Her essence into like a thousand pieces.

[Travis McElroy]

There's the newest Resident Evil game is so weird. You gotta put together a giant woman.

[Griffin McElroy]

It's more of a banjo kazooie collectathon. Like you're finding all the witch fragments all over.

[Travis McElroy]

Browser based.

[Justin McElroy]

Camilo is kept in my storage room with my other dark energies. I don't like to mess with that seems safe.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. Let them all bottle up and perk

[Justin McElroy]

them up in one little dark box and give it a good shake every once in a while. You know, just really piss them off. Let them hang out and talk. Every tool confirms the same thing. Camilo is powerful, deliberate and deeply rooted in dark magic. J&K.JKJK. thank you so much for listening to our podcast which is called My Brother, My Brother and Me still, despite the fact that it is hard to trademark

[Griffin McElroy]

impossible, some people would say.

[Travis McElroy]

Hey, very exciting news. Next week the final graphic novel in our Adventure Zone Balance series is coming out Story and Song. But you can still pre order it right [e-mail] if you pre order from one of our indie books store partners, you get a book plate signed by one of us and Carrie. There's a book release event next week in Boston. Tickets are on sale now. It's July 16th at 7pm at the Chevalier Theater. And each ticket includes a signed paperback copy of Story and Song provided by Brookline Booksmith. And there's a special mid month episode of Clubhouse on Tuesday, July 14th to celebrate the book coming out. And we're going to do a regular monthly clubhouse on the 21st. So it's all there. It's all there.

[Griffin McElroy]

This book is so good and I'm so excited for people to read it.

[Justin McElroy]

It's weird to be proud of something we make, but this is definitely.

[Griffin McElroy]

This one's really up there. We got merch over at the McElroy merch store. New stuff for the month. Of July. I want to call out the Trab Nation Centennial Magnet. If you're feeling in the mood to be patriotic, but not for this particular country, then you can celebrate Travnation as you.

[Travis McElroy]

That's actually one of our many slogans.

[Griffin McElroy]

Yeah. A place you can be proud of is Travnation's slogan. 10% of all of our merch proceeds this month will also be donated to the Asian Pacific Environmental Network. All of our merch stuff is [e-mail] hey, thanks to Montaigne also for the use of our theme song My Life Is Better with youh. It's a song that brings me strength in my times of greatest need.

[Travis McElroy]

Wow, that's beautiful, Griffin.

[Griffin McElroy]

Thank you.

[Justin McElroy]

Really beautiful.

[Travis McElroy]

What are we going to throw?

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah, I think I feel like I threw something last time.

[Griffin McElroy]

Give me a second, okay?

[Justin McElroy]

Sure. Yeah, of course.

[Griffin McElroy]

Chad, would you be pissed off if I threw the pocket watch that you gave us as groomsman presents at your wedding?

[Travis McElroy]

Are you sure? Time flies, baby.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's really good.

[Justin McElroy]

It's really good, man. Thank you. He just came up with that.

[Griffin McElroy]

You sure you won't be pissed off if this thing like explodes? Because it's pretty old at this point.

[Travis McElroy]

No, go for it.

[Griffin McElroy]

Is it beautiful?

[Travis McElroy]

I have no attachment. Here we go. I am so. I am so pissed off.

[Griffin McElroy]

Bounced so good. Did you see how good that bounce?

[Travis McElroy]

Yeah, that was actually one of the things I look for when I purchased them.

[Griffin McElroy]

That's.

[Justin McElroy]

Yeah.

[Travis McElroy]

I'm Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy.

[Griffin McElroy]

I'm Griffin McElroy.

[Justin McElroy]

As a member of my Brother Me kiss your dad square on the lips.

[Theme Song Singer]

It's better with you My life it's better it's better with you it's better My life it's better it's better with you. Is it true you are. It's better it's better with you.

[Griffin McElroy]

Maximum Fun, a worker owned network of artist owned shows supported directly by you.