My Momma Told Me – "Cobra Clog" (Dec 30, 2025)

Hosts: Langston Kerman & David Gborie
Network: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts

Episode Overview

In this lively episode, comedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie explore the origins and anxieties surrounding the (not totally irrational) Black folk fear that a snake might rise from the toilet and bite you where the sun don't shine — your "Kit Kat Bar." The pair read a fan's email about this ubiquitous dread and riff on whether there’s any real basis for it, weaving in their own comedic trauma, vulnerable moments, and Black community in-jokes along the way. They also discuss dressing for coolness, receive some flirtatious fan mail, digress about aging, and debate what truly makes a person vulnerable.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Legacy of “Cool” and Black Fashion (02:20–09:39)

• The hosts reminisce about trends they tried (and failed) to pull off, like ski goggles, glove fashion, and the challenges of trying to balance “fresh” with teacher professionalism.
  • Langston: “You gotta be fly, but you gotta be fly in a way that they’re like, I don’t...I don’t quite understand what that is.” (09:04)
  • David: “We’re here to learn multiplication, not get pussy.” (07:31)

2. PE Teachers, Toxic Gym Lore, and Growing Up Ignorant (09:42–12:06)

• Jokes about eccentric teachers and wild, problematic things said in gym class.
  • Langston: “I had a PE teacher tell me that Asian women have sideways pussies.” (10:00)
  • David: “Well, that’s true, though. He was just being a good man.” (10:05)

3. Fan Mail – Thirsty Listeners & Podcaster Sex Appeal (13:10–15:24)

• David reads a message from a listener, Josette, who offers up some very direct affection.
  • Josette (fan email): “I love deep dark chocolate, man. Oh, I bet he tastes like a Hershey bar. Oh, a girl can dream.” (13:21)
• The hosts discuss the odd dynamic of getting explicit DMs from both women and men.
  • Langston: “I support your right to suck whichever dicks you choose. I choose not to allow you to put my dick in your mouth. And that is sort of the position I take.” (16:03)
• Black culture’s unique relationship with calling each other ugly.
  • Langston: “They’ll say it with affection... Like, ‘these two ugly niggas are hilarious.’” (18:33)

4. Conspiracy: Snake in the Toilet Fear (20:10–56:48)

a) Where Did the Fear Come From? (20:10–26:52)

• Josette describes the common fear among her girlfriends of snakes biting them from the toilet.
• David: “Me and my giant Hershey bar [am] also afraid of the same thing… I don’t think it’s just women.” (26:44)
• The hosts compare the fear of toilet snakes vs. an intruder bursting through the bathroom door.

b) Sitting Down to Pee: Adulthood and Vulnerability (28:04–31:36)

• Openly admitting to sitting down to pee at home; discussing the changing bodies/minds of 30-somethings.
  • Langston: “I almost exclusively sit down to pee at home now… I’m resting.” (29:09)
  • David: “Sometimes I’ll sit to poop and then realize I got pees don’t come out as much as they used to. That’s just getting old, you know?” (29:45)

c) Paul Pierce, Masculinity, and the Fear of Public Shaming (31:00–36:42)

• Tangential discussion about NBA star Paul Pierce’s notorious incident of pooping his pants during a game, and Gborie’s own Safeway “shit story.”
  • David (on his accident): “I’m pretty sure it got to the back of my shirt.” (34:58)
  • Langston: “Shit himself in a mid-tier grocery store.” (37:23)

d) Research – Is Snake-Through-Toilet a Real Thing? (42:17–56:48)

• Langston Googles snake toilet attacks; finds it’s extremely rare and mostly happens in places like Australia.

  • Langston: “The frequency at which this happens is extremely low… It is a rare experience not often experienced by anybody.” (43:19)
  • Discusses one true (Australian) case: “A five-foot carpet python had bitten her...her bottom.” (52:30)
  • David: “The poison is not what I’m worried about...My dick getting bit by a snake.” (53:32)

• The sociological aspect: who is really vulnerable in bathrooms? Langston notes Google mainly returns stories of trans folks being endangered in public restrooms. (51:23)

e) Concluding the Conspiracy

• While it's possible for a snake to bite you in the toilet, in America it’s almost unheard of.
  • Langston: “If you do [have many snakes], get out of there. You ain’t gotta live like that.” (56:06)
  • David reads out Josette’s warm sign-off message to close the topic.

5. Old-Faced Black Men, Millennials, and Hope (48:38–51:12)

• Joking about how past generations aged versus millennials; why young people now look "old."
  • Langston: “Millennials... for whatever reason, we’re the youngest looking of all the generations. Gen Z is going back to those 1970s niggas who looked 45 when they were 20.” (49:09)
  • David: “It’s hope. We’re the last generation to grow up with any kind of hope.” (49:10)

6. Closing Moments, Merch, and Goodbyes (56:54–57:31)

• Plugs for live dates, show, merch, and social media.
• Fans are encouraged to send in both their conspiracy theories and their affection, albeit with some boundaries.
  • Langston: “If you want to send us your glowing love letters, if you want to send us hole, send it all to mymamapodmail.com. We would love to hear from you.” (57:31)
• Signature sign-off: “Bye, bitch. Microchips in your anus. All koala bears are racist. The ozone layer owes me money.” (58:07)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On DMs from fans:

• Langston: “She said, you taste like a Hershey bar.” (15:09)
• David: “Thank you to all the little mamas throwing at me via DMs and or emails. I currently have a girlfriend... I feel seen and I feel beautiful.” (14:14)

On bathroom vulnerability:

• Langston: “Real GS move in silence like lasagna...” (28:40)
• David: “Do you ever pee when you’re sitting down?”
  Langston: “I almost exclusively sit down to pee at home now.” (28:53–29:09)

On shame and public accidents:

• David: “I shit my pants at a Safeway once...I’m pretty sure it got to the back of my shirt.” (34:46–34:58)
• Langston: “Shit himself in a mid-tier grocery store.” (37:23)

On generational differences:

• David: “It’s hope. We’re the last generation to grow up with any kind of hope.” (49:10)
• Langston: “Robin Harris died at 36 years old. He looked rough for 36, man.” (50:20–50:47)

On snake-in-the-toilet fear:

• Langston: “The possibility...is extremely low. It is a rare experience not often experienced by anybody.” (43:19)
• David: “My dick getting bit by a snake.” (53:33)
• Langston (comforting Josette): “You and your Kit Kat bar...remain safe from snake bites in all forms.” (56:35)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:20–09:39] – On Black fashion, teacher coolness, and school style
• [13:10–15:24] – Reading and responding to Josette’s lusty fan email
• [20:10–26:52] – The universal fear of toilet snakes and its cultural spread
• [28:04–31:36] – Adulthood, sitting to pee, and male vulnerability
• [34:03–36:42] – David’s public humiliation: the Safeway poop story
• [42:17–56:48] – Snake-in-the-toilet: Fact, fiction, Australian nightmares
• [49:09–50:47] – Aging, hope, and why millennials look so good
• [56:54–57:31] – Plugs, fan engagement, and sign-off

Final Thoughts

This episode is a blend of hilarity, gross-out stories, and real cultural reflection, using the titular conspiracy as a springboard into jokes about shame, masculinity, and what it means to be desired. Listening is like hanging out with your funniest cousins: no story is off-limits, and no vulnerability is too embarrassing to laugh about. By the end, you’ll be comforted that your bathroom anxieties are (mostly) unfounded — unless you live in Australia.

For merch, DMs, or to share your own weird fears/conspiracies, visit:
MyMamaToldMe.merchcentral.com
Email: mymamapodmail@gmail.com

Hosts:

• @LangstonKerman
• @Coolguyjokes87