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Langston Kearney
This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.
Bob the Drag Queen
Amazon Pharmacy presents painful thoughts.
Langston Kearney
It's been a long, bumpy road dealing with yet another bladder infection and driving to the pharmacy to pick up meds. I went over a pothole and a little pee came out. So now I get to stand in line with pee pee pants.
Bob the Drag Queen
Next time, skip the pain and get fast free delivery with Amazon Pharmacy. Healthcare just got less painful.
Langston Kearney
Since he got out. Bad things keep happening.
Bob the Drag Queen
Cape Fear, a new series is streaming June 5th on Apple TV. Why would I want to hurt you? Starring Academy Award winner Javier Bardem. Why? And Academy Award nominee Amy Adams.
Langston Kearney
He is coming after my family.
Bob the Drag Queen
Why? Cape Fear? Streaming June 5th on Apple TV during Memorial Day at Lowe's. Shop household must haves for less. Save $80 on a char broil performance series four burner grill to chef up something special.
Langston Kearney
Plus get up to 45% off.
Bob the Drag Queen
Select major appliances to keep things fresh. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's. Lowe's we help you save valid through 527 while supplies last selection varies by location. See lowe's.com for details.
Langston Kearney
Visit your nearby Lowes.
Kel Penn
Hey, everyone, it's Kel Penn. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, Hearsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Every episode, I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and I Heart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Bob the Drag Queen
You really into la? You just got a hat on?
Langston Kearney
Oh, no, I just bought this at a photography thing I was at the other day.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, that's cute. It's like a paint roller.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, yeah, no, I don't like thought
Bob the Drag Queen
it was a tampon.
Langston Kearney
Oh, that'd be funny, cuz look at it.
David Borey
Oh, it does look like a tampon.
Langston Kearney
No, that's cool. I'm not like insecure about a thing about my new hat or anything. I'm not doing the math about how many podcasts I've worn it on now.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like I was like, oh, it's like, like he's like for women. He got a tampon hat on. Fuck. Like women in LA. Tampon hat.
Langston Kearney
Fuck.
David Borey
NASA's the big ass.
Langston Kearney
Shit. I just wore this on Mandel. Shit.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, it's very much giving tampon hat.
David Borey
Yeah, yeah.
Langston Kearney
You see it?
David Borey
I think we all see it.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's the tampon. That's the string that's the little thing you pull. But I don't think there's a. There's not really like a bulb on the end of the string.
Langston Kearney
I've been wearing it so confidently around town.
David Borey
I think it looks so much like tampon before you even have to make sense of it that you just go, tampon.
Bob the Drag Queen
Do y' all prank each other? No. So you would never. Like.
Langston Kearney
We're both too sensitive.
Bob the Drag Queen
You would never put a little red on the hat with me?
Langston Kearney
No, I wouldn't do that.
David Borey
That'd be okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Because that'd be crazy.
Langston Kearney
You would be dead in my shit when you said that before.
David Borey
You introduce a nefarious prank to the.
CJ Toledano
Government.
Langston Kearney
Growing babies. Microchips in your 80s, all koala bears are rac. The ozone layer owes me money. Marshy defending turkey stuffing. Y' all can't tell me nothing. It's a rare condition in this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper page. The loving addition in the grand design Some people say is even harder to find. Well, then there might be some magic clue inside.
David Borey
Mighty
Langston Kearney
cuz all I see is a tower. Dreams real love person I'd ever seen.
Bob the Drag Queen
By.
Langston Kearney
Welcome, little mamas and gentiles. You psycho. They always going to edge them. Always going to edge them. Welcome, little mamas and gentiles alike to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories. You spent the whole thing. I'm wiling, man.
David Borey
And we finally worked to prove nothing. But we are here. We are queer. Get used to it. Our guest today, phenomenal performer. Talent of all kinds. You know him from We're Here. You know him from RuPaul's Drag Race.
Bob the Drag Queen
Race.
David Borey
A goddam winner, a champion, a novelist, a stand up comedian, a hilarious person, a nasty motherfucker. Give it up for Bob the Drag Queen.
Langston Kearney
I smell good, I feel good. And you sing good.
Bob the Drag Queen
And make love good.
David Borey
Oh,
Langston Kearney
man. That's how I want to talk to him. I want to talk to him in sound bites.
Bob the Drag Queen
Anyways, who is sitting on Mr. T's lap?
Langston Kearney
That's Nancy Reagan, obviously. Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know why I would ask that sort of question. We got the good doctor, mathematician Terrence Howard. Terrence Howard, that's right. Left acting to study. One plus one, was it? Yeah.
Langston Kearney
He'll be back.
David Borey
Well, one times one.
Bob the Drag Queen
One times one and it equals. It was three, right?
David Borey
Two.
Bob the Drag Queen
Two.
Langston Kearney
That's what it was. One times one equals two. Because there's two ones.
Bob the Drag Queen
Of course. Edward Murphy. Yeah. Eddie Murphy, Ed McDowell.
David Borey
I hope you recognize this piece. This is actually one of our finer pieces.
Bob the Drag Queen
It looks like Steve Harvey.
David Borey
That's right. It's an American flag made of Steve Harvey's mustache and teeth.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, he got big teeth. He got them OG veneers.
David Borey
And he's a fine patriot to this country.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, he loves it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Honestly. Kind of an iconic moment.
David Borey
Bob, thank you for being here. We're going. We didn't get a conspiracy theory from you, so instead what we're going to do is we get a lot of voicemails from our listeners who send in their own conspiracies.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okie dokie.
David Borey
So we'll do a bunch of that together. This is. Como se dice chaos. Got it. It is going to be chaos from the moment that those cameras turn on. Feel free to let it be whatever you want it to be.
Bob the Drag Queen
Maybe I'll bring the calm.
David Borey
Yeah, that's it. A lot of people.
Bob the Drag Queen
You can keep that up. No, I probably won't. I'm not a very calm person.
Langston Kearney
I was gonna say if you could.
Bob the Drag Queen
Hey, I don't know how familiar you are with my online presence, but I'm not a terribly calm.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, I thought it was crazy that you said that, but I wanted to.
Bob the Drag Queen
Hey, man, maybe I'm talking over a new leaf in life. Really? That no one's drinking Red Bull in the AM Is bringing calm to any situation.
Langston Kearney
Cheers.
Bob the Drag Queen
It is water. Yeah. Wow. You think you're better than us?
Langston Kearney
He doesn't drink. He doesn't do carbonation like I drink.
Bob the Drag Queen
Are you one of those, like, reminding people to drink water all the time?
David Borey
No, I'm on drugs, man. I'm not.
Langston Kearney
That's it, too. I wish I could smoke weed before this.
David Borey
Yeah.
Langston Kearney
Maybe I'll start trying again. We.
David Borey
We did it the other day and you seem to.
Langston Kearney
Yeah. Outside.
Bob the Drag Queen
Where y' all from?
Langston Kearney
Inside Denver.
Bob the Drag Queen
DB Yeah. I don't know why I said, like,
Langston Kearney
nobody ever has done it, but I didn't know. I wish we had something. We get a lot of Latina teens saying, I'm from Denver, but that's kind of our thing. Denver accent is really weird.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm doing a show.
Langston Kearney
I'm doing a show in Denver because it's like that. It's like. It's so hard to explain, but it's like if you're from there, everything is Latino based.
David Borey
Yeah.
Langston Kearney
And it's like, just like. Even black people, though, you hear the way they. They say, like, Denver. Like, I don't. It's really. It's really hard to explain Denver.
David Borey
No, I'm from Chicago.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm from Chicago.
David Borey
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Langston Kearney
Oh, real cities.
Bob the Drag Queen
You wanna ask where I'm from?
Langston Kearney
Real cities.
Bob the Drag Queen
Where are you from? Thank you for asking. I'm from Atlanta. Oh, the bays.
David Borey
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Atl, Shorty.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
David Borey
I feel like.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know.
Langston Kearney
I didn't know you were from Atlanta. Atlanta.
David Borey
Niggas would usually tell people they're from Atlanta.
Langston Kearney
It comes up quick.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, we've been here for five minutes and I've already been.
David Borey
Most people introduce themselves. They say, hey, I'm Bob. I'm from Atlanta.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm from Atlanta. Clayton County.
Langston Kearney
Shout Out.
Bob the Drag Queen
Clay Company. You know how we do every day, Clay? Shout out to Lotto. Shout out to Walka Flocka Flight. No, I don't really Fucka Fly.
Langston Kearney
Yeah. Shout to his mother. Great businesswoman.
Bob the Drag Queen
Walking Falka Fame's mom.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, you guys. Yeah, she's like a big, you know,
Bob the Drag Queen
more Walk and Falkin Fame than I do. That's crazy.
Langston Kearney
I just got a strange Internet, you know, I.
David Borey
You gotta get back in touch with Atlanta.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, well, I've not lived in Atlanta in 22 years.
David Borey
Yeah.
Langston Kearney
Okay, good.
David Borey
See, most people I know from Atlanta keep a place in Atlanta.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, I did have a place in Atlanta. I did have a place in Atlanta. But tragedy struck. My house burned down.
David Borey
Oh, no.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, the fires made it all the way to Atlanta. All the way to Atlanta. My house burned down.
Langston Kearney
What happened?
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know, but the insurance company. I'm kidding. No, Hey, I need to stop making that joke. I've made that joke several times. I need this. I'm just kidding.
David Borey
The car.
Bob the Drag Queen
The car exploded and the house burned.
Langston Kearney
Holy shit. The car.
Bob the Drag Queen
The car.
David Borey
How does one explode?
Bob the Drag Queen
What do you mean? I wasn't there. I mean, I live in la.
David Borey
You're not helping your case.
Langston Kearney
Are people looking for you?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, no one's looking for me or not. I need to stop. I keep making the joke online. I need to stop doing it because they're gonna start believing. But my mom's car exploded and then the house burned out. That's exactly what happened.
David Borey
You started dating Cassie.
Bob the Drag Queen
And then also my mom, she had, like, a lot of oxygen tanks. My mother was on oxygen the last years of her life. So oxygen is really flammable. So the garage just went.
Langston Kearney
So you had tanks in the garage?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes.
Langston Kearney
What kind of car did she have?
Bob the Drag Queen
Like a Honda CRV or something like that. Like just an SUV. It was like a 2000. Maybe 20. 2012, 2014.
David Borey
That was a. That was A flammable year that was.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Langston Kearney
They were going up.
Bob the Drag Queen
That in her life, she wasn't very. So the car wasn't being driven a ton. So it wasn't being taken care of. But then it would get driven, like, randomly, like doctor's appointments and stuff.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
The car was not being taken care of very well.
Langston Kearney
Did you. So you had to get, like, a fire report?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, we have a fire report. Yeah.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Public information.
David Borey
Damn.
Langston Kearney
Damn. I didn't know cars could just blow up like that. I now feel.
David Borey
Shit, I now feel bad for challenging you on your Atlanta race.
Bob the Drag Queen
Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.
Langston Kearney
You got a blown up car that feels Atlanta.
David Borey
That's the most Atlanta you can get.
Bob the Drag Queen
I am from the city of the Phoenix.
Langston Kearney
Oh, is Atlanta the city of the Phoenix?
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know about this.
Langston Kearney
No.
Bob the Drag Queen
So the south was destroyed during the Civil War. Completely destroyed. And the first city to rise from the ashes was Atlanta.
Langston Kearney
Really?
David Borey
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's why Atlanta was, like the capital of the South. You know what I mean?
Langston Kearney
I thought it was Myrtle Beach.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, I'm sure. Imagine. Imagine Myrtle beach outranking Atlanta, Georgia. No shade. Anyone live in Myrtle Beach? But you already know. You're not brittle.
Langston Kearney
At the beach, they said, we need these taffy stands.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, I'm sure. Tyler Perry. I bet Taller Perry was like, it's between Myrtle beach and Atlanta. I don't know where to build my empire.
Langston Kearney
I mean, if we're talking to the South, I'm a big Chattanooga guy.
Bob the Drag Queen
Chattanooga?
David Borey
You with Chattanooga?
Langston Kearney
I like it. I call. I said chatta, but it's supposed to be chatta. I like Tennessee.
Bob the Drag Queen
Chattanooga. Anyone?
Langston Kearney
I call Chattanooga over there, they say CH is soft. It's like, more soft.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, interesting.
Langston Kearney
But I fuck. I fuck with Tennessee. I've had nothing but good times in Tennessee. I think it's beautiful.
Bob the Drag Queen
I've been all over, like, Memphis.
Langston Kearney
Memphis, Knoxville, Nashville.
Bob the Drag Queen
I love that Memphis accent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's her name?
Langston Kearney
Merzyk. Oh, Glorilla.
Bob the Drag Queen
Glorilla, of course. Yeah. Curbin.
Langston Kearney
Yeah. Kirban.
David Borey
I like it because she's fine.
Bob the Drag Queen
She's good looking.
Langston Kearney
She is fine. Yeah.
David Borey
I think I'd have more trouble with it if that were a big hole.
Bob the Drag Queen
Who's the finest rap girl?
David Borey
Finest rap girl?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Langston Kearney
I can't separate personality from the art.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes. You can't do it.
David Borey
So you.
Langston Kearney
So for me, it is. Glorilla's like. She's the best. She's the best.
Bob the Drag Queen
She's so charming.
Langston Kearney
She's so charming. She's so charming in a way that she still might scam you a little bit, but you're like, you know What? Take that $30.
David Borey
I didn't want that. That's you.
Langston Kearney
That's you.
David Borey
That's for you.
Bob the Drag Queen
Glow. Really?
Langston Kearney
We had a great time.
Bob the Drag Queen
Who's the hottest rap guy?
Langston Kearney
Ooh. Like just sexually of all time?
Bob the Drag Queen
Ooh, sure.
Langston Kearney
I think Method man was the first man I ever saw. Method man that was attractive in a way that I wanted to be.
David Borey
I think he's hard to beat.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Langston Kearney
You don't think Method Man's an attractive man?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, but the hottest is Method Man.
David Borey
You looked at the cameras as if
Bob the Drag Queen
the world is about to turn crazy. Answer.
Langston Kearney
I don't think it is Method Man. I think it's the dirtiest. You can get.
Bob the Drag Queen
Method Man.
David Borey
Bob tap in with Method Man.
Langston Kearney
This is gorgeous.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, I'm not gonna run Method Man.
Langston Kearney
That's today. Get Method Man. 99.
Bob the Drag Queen
This is. I can't do this podcast.
Langston Kearney
Who's your number one?
Bob the Drag Queen
Probably Wiz Khalifa.
Langston Kearney
No, no.
Bob the Drag Queen
Wiz Khalifa is the hottest rapper. Is Wiz Khalifa way hotter than Method Man?
Langston Kearney
Okay, possibly, but hottest of all time.
David Borey
You think Wiz. You think Wiz is hotter than.
Langston Kearney
No, I don't think Wiz is.
Bob the Drag Queen
Because you light skinned and you trying to pick somebody who's kind of on your. You trying to give yourself a compliment?
David Borey
My answer wasn't even going to be Method Man.
Bob the Drag Queen
What was it?
Langston Kearney
Who was it?
Bob the Drag Queen
Asap. This is a good answer. That's pretty good. We found our common ground. Okay, now we found our common ground.
David Borey
Okay, now we're looking.
Bob the Drag Queen
Tupac is pretty good looking too.
Langston Kearney
Tupac was very handsome.
Bob the Drag Queen
I really feel like. I feel like Meg, it's probably a basic bitch answer, but Meg is the hottest rap girl.
David Borey
I think that's fair. Dochi was my answer.
Bob the Drag Queen
Dochi is fine. I think though.
David Borey
And she's a little more. She's like a elusive. You know what I mean?
Bob the Drag Queen
I do think if you're a guy who likes Dochi, you might be a little gay though.
David Borey
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Because Dochi's a little. She's a little like.
David Borey
This is going to be a kind conversation.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, Doch is a little like, I feel like gay guys are attracted to. Wait, not Dochi. I'm thinking Doja Cat.
Langston Kearney
Doja Cat. I think gay guys are attractive.
Bob the Drag Queen
Doji. No, I meant to say I was thinking Doja Cat.
Langston Kearney
If you.
Bob the Drag Queen
If you like Doja Cat, like sexually attracted, you might be a little gay.
Langston Kearney
That's fair.
David Borey
I think that's fair.
Langston Kearney
Even though she got body, she Got gray. She got body.
David Borey
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, obviously she's. She's, like, slim, thick.
Langston Kearney
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know if you can still say that. I don't know if that's a millennial.
Langston Kearney
I don't know. It makes me want to do.
David Borey
I would have described it.
Bob the Drag Queen
How old are y'? All? 39.
David Borey
Yeah, we're the same age. Yeah, 30.
Bob the Drag Queen
We all the same age.
Langston Kearney
We just Googled it before.
Bob the Drag Queen
You got 86.
Langston Kearney
87.
David Borey
87.
Langston Kearney
Class of 05.
David Borey
We young. You know what I mean? We sort of. We kind of young. We just fun guys.
Langston Kearney
We're just babies. We're just no babies.
Bob the Drag Queen
Shout out to Mara high school class of 2004. Y' all know I be here.
Langston Kearney
Said it out loud.
Bob the Drag Queen
You turning 40 this year. Shout out Mara High School class of 2004.
Langston Kearney
Elizabeth High School, class ZO5. You ain't shit. Put me up on the wall. I don't care if I didn't take senior pictures.
Bob the Drag Queen
Elizabeth High School. And where you went to high school?
David Borey
Oak Park. River Forest.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oak Park.
Langston Kearney
They got you on the wall.
David Borey
Y. I doubt it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Y' all sound like thugs at Oak Park. That sound like a school I wouldn't feel comfortable at.
David Borey
Oh, actually, it was a very nice school. A lot of Frank Lloyd Wright houses.
Bob the Drag Queen
It was a very nice school. Really?
Langston Kearney
Yeah, man. That's not my.
David Borey
My hardship was completely at home.
Bob the Drag Queen
The community thriving.
David Borey
All my problems were right.
Langston Kearney
That's really the worst way for it to be, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. You'd rather have. I'd rather have a good home and go to a fucked up school.
David Borey
Yep.
Langston Kearney
Then vice versa.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's what I had. Well, I mean, did I have a fucked up school? Morrow High School was, first of all, my entire county lost its accreditation the year after I graduated high school.
Langston Kearney
I didn't know a county could lose it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Neither did I. Clayton County.
Langston Kearney
Take back. That's nuts.
Bob the Drag Queen
Clayton County.
David Borey
You just point at the county and
Bob the Drag Queen
go, y' all ain't real.
Langston Kearney
Yeah. This whole municipality can't.
Bob the Drag Queen
It was for a short period of time. They got it back. They got it back. We're back. Shout out to the accredited town. This is 22 years ago, but we got it back. We're good now. And, you know, it's interesting. It's very interesting, but I had a very loving home.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, full opposite. A lot of, like, bullying at school. Y' all had SROs, School Resource Officers.
Langston Kearney
No. Oh, yeah. Like school cop school.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had a school. Cops. I forgot you went to bike school.
David Borey
I went To a very mixed school.
Bob the Drag Queen
You went to black school?
Langston Kearney
Literally the exact opposite. I went to a rural white high school.
Bob the Drag Queen
Y' all still had cops. Yeah.
David Borey
Well, meth, he went to sad, like, high school.
Langston Kearney
Yeah. That's what sucks.
Bob the Drag Queen
Ozarks.
Langston Kearney
Yeah. A similar vibe.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Langston Kearney
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Fun fact. My high school is the high school they use in Ozarks. Like, the outside of my high school is the.
Langston Kearney
Wow.
Bob the Drag Queen
That is the actual, like, when you. When they go to, like, the meth high school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's an actual video of my actual high school.
David Borey
Damn.
Bob the Drag Queen
But now my high school is now, like, they move down the street to a really nice building.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
David Borey
Did they shoot a lot of Ozark in Atlanta?
Bob the Drag Queen
I reckon they probably did. I mean, I wasn't on Ozark. I don't know.
David Borey
And thanks for saying I reckon. That was nice.
Bob the Drag Queen
I say reckon a lot. My friends make fun of me saying reckon, but I grew up saying reckon. I reckon a lot. I'd be reckoning. The damn reckoning is here. Do you say yonder sometimes? I never heard that in real life in certain contexts. But, like, okay, where would I say yonder? If I live in North Hollywood. If I live in North Hollywood, you're in Burbank. You'd be down yonder.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
David Borey
But you would use. You would say, like, oh, he lives down yonder in Burbank.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, but yonder.
Langston Kearney
What's crazy?
Bob the Drag Queen
What's that?
Langston Kearney
My African family says yonder.
Bob the Drag Queen
Whoa.
Langston Kearney
Because it's part of Sierra Leone, the main language is Creole. It's a pidgin English. But it's a pidgin English adapted more from English English. So they say, like, my family says yonder. They say jumper and shit and boo and shit like that. It's really weird. So that's where I got yonder from. Not from.
Bob the Drag Queen
So we got one parent who's from Africa. One parent?
Langston Kearney
No, they're both from Africa. I just grew up. My mom got here, and I was born shortly after, so I grew up here.
Bob the Drag Queen
Can I tell you something? I do that, and you African, and we're all African.
David Borey
I ain't got no way to trace it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, exact same.
Langston Kearney
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
I do this thing that's really offensive. I need to stop doing it. I have to stop doing it. But I can't stop doing it.
Langston Kearney
If you click, I'm gonna get rid of it.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm not clicking. I'm not clicking. But whenever someone does something, really. Whenever someone shows me they have a lot of money or they were raised nicely, I do A quick Nigerian accent every time. And I don't know why I do it.
Langston Kearney
Oh, you know what?
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, if I meet a friend and they pull up in a. Be like, hey, look at this one. And I can't stop doing it.
David Borey
That's really funny.
Bob the Drag Queen
Look at this one here.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, it's like Nigerian people, like, they make. I think in my head, I think they're all rich, too. But that's just because Sierra Leone people did not do what the Nigerians did.
David Borey
I was about to say, I never think that for y'.
Bob the Drag Queen
All.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, it sucks, but we have a lot of hits. We have a Super bowl winner.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Langston Kearney
What's his name? The receiver from the Seattle Seahawks in this last one.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm sorry, I think that I would know.
Langston Kearney
I asked, like. I would know. I was like.
Bob the Drag Queen
I was like. As if I was gonna be like,
Langston Kearney
oh, yeah, that one. I have no clue.
Bob the Drag Queen
No clue. I ain't watched the sport in so long. I didn't ask.
Langston Kearney
I still claim Idris Elba. He did. Apparently, he did some kind of.
Bob the Drag Queen
Idris Elfa's here early on.
Langston Kearney
His mom's people are from Ghana, and his dad's people are from Sierra Leone.
Bob the Drag Queen
Whenever I went to go fabric shopping in New York City. Cause all the shops are owned by, like, Middle Eastern people, but they're run by Africans.
Langston Kearney
Right, right, right.
Bob the Drag Queen
And every. I mean, I'm telling you, every time I went to these shops, I'd be like, can I get some. Can I get some, like, this polka dot or this houndstooth fabric? And they go, where you from?
Langston Kearney
You do. Look, I was gonna.
Bob the Drag Queen
They go, where you from? I go, oh, I'm from Atlanta. They go, no, no. Where your mother from? I go, oh, my mom. I go, My mom's from Mississippi. Where your father from? I go, oh, my dad's from Alabama. My mother's from Mississippi. Obviously, I'm African, but I'm American. I'm African American. And they'd be like. They always go, no, no, you from Ghana. Yeah. Like, everywhere.
Langston Kearney
Cause it would be West African. Like, I'm sure. Yeah, it's all West African. It's not like, that big. You know what I mean?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Langston Kearney
And you do look. You do look African.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, I get it a lot.
Langston Kearney
I would be like. And then try to see how you feel about it.
Bob the Drag Queen
I do. I want to tell you, you should go. Can I tell you, too? Like, when I first got to New York City in 2008, I was really into Rosetta Stone. Okay.
David Borey
That was a program that was the height of Rosetta Stone. Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
One hundo p. They were in every commercial.
Langston Kearney
Whenever Drake said, I could teach you, that was the height of it to me.
Bob the Drag Queen
What are you saying?
Langston Kearney
I could teach you how to speak in my language. Rosetta Stone. Just the fact that he got into a rap lyric, that's when I was like. Yeah, because that's before Duolingo popped off, right? Way before.
Bob the Drag Queen
Way before.
David Borey
Duolingo is, like 8 years old.
Bob the Drag Queen
Is that it?
David Borey
I don't think it's, like, crazy.
Langston Kearney
I feel like I tried to duolingo in pandemic for a little bit.
Bob the Drag Queen
That sounds about right. Yeah. So I tried to.
Langston Kearney
So growing up, you Rosetta Stone, though,
Bob the Drag Queen
you're taught that the most spoken language in Africa is Swahili. I ain't never met nobody speaks Swahili.
Langston Kearney
I don't.
Bob the Drag Queen
I ain't never met. I ain't never met a single person. Never. Not once.
Langston Kearney
I speak.
Bob the Drag Queen
A lot of people speak Olaf. No.
Langston Kearney
Chala.
Bob the Drag Queen
No. What they be speaking in? I sound country as hell. What they be speaking in?
Langston Kearney
No, it's good in. Down yonder.
Bob the Drag Queen
Down yonder? Wolof.
Langston Kearney
Ok.
Bob the Drag Queen
I've heard a lot of people speak Wolof and the language they speak in Nigeria. I ain't never met nobody who speaks. I ain't never met a person.
David Borey
My mom lives in Ghana. Mom and my younger sister live in Ghana. And my younger sister speaks Ga, but not Swah. And, like, she knows some Swahili, but, like, that is not the primary language everybody's from.
Bob the Drag Queen
Ain't Nigeria the most populated country in Africa?
Langston Kearney
I'm not from Nigeria.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, neither am I, but I know.
David Borey
Sounds right to me.
Langston Kearney
Maybe. I know it's like. At least for us in the west, it's like that's. It's like Hollywood and New York City and all that wrapped in one. Like, Nigeria is like, the cool.
Bob the Drag Queen
All this to say I was trying to learn Swahili.
Langston Kearney
That sucks.
Bob the Drag Queen
But I ain't never met anybody who speaks Swahili.
Langston Kearney
No.
Bob the Drag Queen
I had that book.
Langston Kearney
Did you ever have that book? Jambo means hello when you were a kid.
David Borey
Oh, I have. I've read that book.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah? Yeah.
Langston Kearney
I think they gave it to all black kids around our age.
Bob the Drag Queen
You know rafiki means friend.
Langston Kearney
Does it?
David Borey
I didn't know that.
Bob the Drag Queen
Rafiki is friend. Jumbo. Rafiki. Hello, friend.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Jumbo Rafiki. Hello, friend.
Langston Kearney
Hey, who's in Rafiki's voice in that movie?
David Borey
The greatest actor of all time, Don Cheadle.
Langston Kearney
Shout out to Denver, Colorado,
Bob the Drag Queen
whoever he is, he's great. Do you Know any quotes from Lion King? This movie is, like, ingrained in my brain.
Langston Kearney
Do I know my favorite word for you?
Bob the Drag Queen
Quote is. I'm not the one who's confused. You don't even know who you are. Yeah, that was a real banger.
David Borey
He really went crazy because he got him to give up a lavish lifestyle to go back to some bullshit.
Bob the Drag Queen
But it was kind of bohemian lavish, though. Like, it was like Silver Lake lavish. It wasn't Beverly Hill.
Langston Kearney
Here's the thing. I think that. I think that it was bohemian in the fact that if you check that lineage, Timon's getting money from somewhere. You understand what I'm saying? These are trust fund. These are trust fund. Poor kids, they like eating bugs. But, like, Timon goes back to Meerkat Manor.
Bob the Drag Queen
I have a theory, and people always get mad at me for this, but I always say this. Your white friends, I don't care how broke they are, they have money somewhere. Somebody, somewhere, don't lie. There's an uncle, an auntie, a cousin. If they're down bad, down bad, they gonna be all right.
David Borey
You got the potential of finding some cash under a mattress that.
Langston Kearney
I'm gonna be honest. I got some who don't.
David Borey
Really? You don't think, like, even, like, generationally, there's somebody that.
Langston Kearney
I mean, maybe. I mean, maybe.
Bob the Drag Queen
Maybe there is a very poor white person who is livid with me in the comments right now. Like, mad at me? Yeah.
Langston Kearney
Like, mad at me. Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
I want to validate your brokenness.
David Borey
My Ryan Donahue, very funny comedian, has a hilarious joke where he says that white poverty is a choice. That ultimately it is a choice. Somewhere in your bloodline, somebody decided they were going to live outside when everybody else went in.
Bob the Drag Queen
It just occurred to me. This is the fake doctor.
Langston Kearney
Yeah.
David Borey
We don't see him as fake.
Bob the Drag Queen
He was like the teenager who.
Langston Kearney
I mean, he has an honorary doctorate of my heart.
Bob the Drag Queen
How do you do that?
Langston Kearney
Because he's amazing.
Bob the Drag Queen
He.
David Borey
He has an experience.
Langston Kearney
No.
David Borey
He is a guest of ours, though.
Langston Kearney
Yeah. We're happy you're here.
Bob the Drag Queen
He's a harder kid than me.
David Borey
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
He's in and out of jail.
Langston Kearney
I think he's trying to check what I got is the problem.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
David Borey
You don't look like you got a pussy.
Langston Kearney
He a fool.
Bob the Drag Queen
You think you'd be a doctor? No. You could have it in any kind of doctor. I think I could have been a lawyer.
Langston Kearney
I think I could have been a dentist. Yeah, I think I could do dentist.
Bob the Drag Queen
He had great teeth.
Langston Kearney
Thank you. Thank you.
Bob the Drag Queen
Those motherfuckers are white.
Langston Kearney
Yeah. That's not.
Bob the Drag Queen
And they're so. Just like. They're great. Let me see what you got. That's also a great teeth.
Langston Kearney
That's genetic.
David Borey
I was scared you were gonna feel different.
Langston Kearney
See, that's genetics, though. I'm not like. It's not like. It's not like an attention to detail thing. Unfortunately, I.
David Borey
Almost every one of my, like, cousins, aunts, uncles on my dad's side are all doctors. Doctors.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh.
Langston Kearney
And I. Oh, you told me. Yeah, yeah.
David Borey
Everybody's a doctor except for he had three siblings. Everybody's a doctor except for my dad and my whole. His whole section. We ain't do doctor.
Langston Kearney
You got. You got the lick back, though. I feel like your dad deviated.
David Borey
I feel like you got.
Langston Kearney
You got the lick back.
David Borey
Yeah, I figured it out.
Langston Kearney
Yeah.
David Borey
Others in my family still working it out.
Bob the Drag Queen
You went to college?
David Borey
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
What'd you study?
David Borey
English.
Bob the Drag Queen
English?
David Borey
Yeah. And then I got a master's in poetry.
Langston Kearney
Oh, hey. Yeah. Yeah. Look at this.
David Borey
You said you were gonna stand. Thank God you didn't.
Langston Kearney
When you pitched the bit, I was like, that's an okay bit. And then I saw it in action. That was a great bit. That is a very good.
David Borey
I saw the potential the whole time.
Langston Kearney
That's a good bit. That's a good bit.
Bob the Drag Queen
You be right, Marjorie.
David Borey
Not anymore, but I did.
Bob the Drag Queen
You ever done any of it on the pod?
David Borey
No, and I never will.
Bob the Drag Queen
He won. No, no, no.
Langston Kearney
I would love it.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'll share up on my roll. I won a poetry contest in seventh grade.
David Borey
Whoa. And you still have it memorized?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yep. To this day, I have a great memory.
Langston Kearney
Okay, let's pull it off.
Bob the Drag Queen
So here was mine.
David Borey
I'm not doing this in the Google Drive, you know.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's in the Google Drive, you know,
Langston Kearney
where it said you got a 16?
David Borey
We just met.
Bob the Drag Queen
Here's my poem. It was called the Rain. The poem said, bear in mind, I wrote this. Sounds like 12, so let's not be judgy, okay? I was not judged. Have you ever noticed that the rain won't stop? And how lonely you feel with every drop? Loneliness brings pain Pain that's clear to see and to see you in pain really aches me. So when you're alone, call on a friend and it's me you will see to ease the pain that so awakens me.
Langston Kearney
Damn.
Bob the Drag Queen
Which in reality. Now think about it.
Langston Kearney
Call on me, brother when you need
Bob the Drag Queen
a hand we all need somebody to lean on.
Langston Kearney
Press the button and I ain't playing.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, that movie Is actually kind of crazy.
David Borey
Lean on Me. Yeah.
Langston Kearney
Oh, because he locked the doors and he had a bat.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like Morgan Freeman was a bad guy.
David Borey
He's beating the shit out of them porkies.
Langston Kearney
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
The whole time he's bad.
David Borey
And then he's making those.
Langston Kearney
That's what they needed.
David Borey
He's making those teachers who are just trying to make a paycheck, sacrifice their jobs, their future.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, it's crazy.
David Borey
For the sake of like some principled shit so that he could beat up on boys.
Bob the Drag Queen
But they made us watch it. They made black kids watch it. Black millennials. We all had to watch Lean on Me. You gotta lean on multiple times a year. Especially when I'm looking for one of the blackest city of Atlanta. It's like one of the blackest cities in America. We had to watch it all the time.
David Borey
No, Mr. Clark remained sort of like this figure of justice and good in the world all the while. But he got abuser.
Bob the Drag Queen
He bad.
Langston Kearney
What was the real. Was the real Mr. Clark bad?
David Borey
Probably.
Langston Kearney
Damn. I did watch that movie because I watched anything that that little boy who played steel was in.
David Borey
Hey. And he was singing his ass off.
Langston Kearney
He was singing his ass off. I loved a movie when I was a kid. I loved a movie because, like, I feel like there were hell of movies where they made you think like a teacher could unlock a natural talent you had for entertainment that you had dormant that you didn't know, like, the teacher would come and be like, you know, you're quite the wordsmith.
David Borey
Sister act style, baby.
Langston Kearney
Exactly.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like on my arm, it's a picture of Whoopi Goldberg. And it says, if you want to be somebody, if you want to go
Langston Kearney
somewhere, you better wake up and pay attention.
Bob the Drag Queen
This white man be knowing all the black references.
Langston Kearney
Probably he's in the corner.
David Borey
We usually don't even acknowledge it where you from? Which I'm sorry that that's the case.
Bob the Drag Queen
I have a bad habit of acknowledging people off camera. I always do it all the time. I'd be like that person in the corner. Do they know anything?
Langston Kearney
Brother, I'm not tripping. Also, Sister act top three San Francisco movies of all time.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay, what's the other two?
David Borey
Yeah. I don't even know.
Langston Kearney
48 hours. Okay.
David Borey
Solid, solid.
Langston Kearney
And then I would.
David Borey
Another 48 hours.
Langston Kearney
Another 48 hours.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, there's sister act. Sister act two. So there's two of them.
Langston Kearney
Well, I think, Sis. I think of Sister act two more as a city focus.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's fair.
Langston Kearney
Like more about the city than the community.
Bob the Drag Queen
It was about the youth they bring in the community.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where? Sister, act one. She was kind of behind the walls.
Bob the Drag Queen
You watch any Boost Riley movies?
Langston Kearney
I have?
Bob the Drag Queen
We.
David Borey
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
I just went to a screening last night.
Langston Kearney
Whoa. We just went to the movie. We saw Michael, but we went to the movies and we were talking about it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Different movie.
Langston Kearney
We were talking about the booster movie. The booster one.
Bob the Drag Queen
I love Boosters. Yeah. With Keke Palmer and Don Cheadle and Denver, Colorado. Who else up in this movie?
David Borey
Everybody.
Bob the Drag Queen
My friend Summer McCusker from Peachtree City.
David Borey
Poppy.
Bob the Drag Queen
Poppy up in there? Yeah, she up in there.
Langston Kearney
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Robin Thede.
Langston Kearney
I like boots. We never met.
Bob the Drag Queen
Sf.
Langston Kearney
Yeah. I don't know, man.
David Borey
Big old hats.
Langston Kearney
They're seven by seven.
Bob the Drag Queen
Big hats.
David Borey
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Very Erykah Badu style.
Langston Kearney
Hey, what's the biggest hat?
Bob the Drag Queen
You would go, I have this one hat. So I have this here. I just got a hair transplant.
Langston Kearney
Oh, can we see? Oh, yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
I didn't do my hair today, but that's what we're.
Langston Kearney
Okay. But you got a razor line on the side.
Bob the Drag Queen
We about six. Six months out.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
So I'm still growing.
David Borey
How much longer in this journey before it's like, all right, no more. I'm ready.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, right now I'm putting, like, a little bit of, like, fibers up in there.
David Borey
Okay.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
How much. What you got on your head?
Langston Kearney
I'm pretty good.
Bob the Drag Queen
Damn, y' all flexing on me.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, it's crazy.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's crazy. Y' all both got so much hair.
David Borey
Yeah. Again, 87
Langston Kearney
spring. Awesome. If I spring 87.
Bob the Drag Queen
If I.
Langston Kearney
That's only the second season.
Bob the Drag Queen
I leave over the table and start strangling this light skinned nigga. I would be wrong.
Langston Kearney
Right.
David Borey
And that is how I was spinning.
Langston Kearney
I was like this dog skin bob attack me.
David Borey
He's a monster.
Bob the Drag Queen
Anyway, they say about a year. The hair is pretty much done growing.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
And then, I mean, I might go back for a round two, but I was like. I was pretty. Pretty severely.
David Borey
I think it looks great.
Langston Kearney
Did you go to Turkey?
Bob the Drag Queen
Beverly Hills.
Langston Kearney
Oh, better.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's an A moment. That is a. I went to Beverly Hills. Yeah. Shout out to the Crown Hair Institute
Langston Kearney
up the street from my house.
Bob the Drag Queen
Fuck yeah. You live in WeHo or Beverly Hills,
Langston Kearney
Another neighborhood that's adjacent.
Bob the Drag Queen
He's in that.
CJ Toledano
In between.
Langston Kearney
Come on. No, across the street from my house. Beverly Hills. Yeah. I'll tell you off camera, this feels crazy now.
Bob the Drag Queen
You think they'll find you from, like, the whole neighborhood?
Langston Kearney
I'm very paranoid. Yeah. Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Why you so paranoid? What Happened.
David Borey
We talk crazy.
Langston Kearney
What didn't happen throughout to get me here?
Bob the Drag Queen
Has someone followed you?
Langston Kearney
I've just been let down by every level.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, my God.
David Borey
We talk crazy on this podcast and we talk crazy.
Langston Kearney
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Y' all ever had any celebrities be mad at y' all only come? No.
Langston Kearney
No. They are not aware of our antics.
David Borey
Yeah.
Langston Kearney
I think that once it. If this blows up the way I think it could, I think it's gonna be an awkward meeting with Terry Crews. Is gonna be tough.
Bob the Drag Queen
What y' all been saying about Terry Crews.
David Borey
I'm real scared I'm gonna bump into Busybone again.
Langston Kearney
Busybone. Tyler Perry would not be happy with what we're doing.
Bob the Drag Queen
Tyler Perry has too many. He got so many people he's mad at right now.
Langston Kearney
That's true. Did you know that?
Bob the Drag Queen
So there's a play called Strange Loop written by a guy named Michael R. Jackson.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
And it's a play about a. It's a play about a guy writing a play about himself. I like that. Very meta. It won the Pulitzer Prize. Did it won the Pulitzer? Can someone. Do we have a Googler?
David Borey
Yeah, I have that.
Bob the Drag Queen
I think it might have won the Pulitzer or it was nominated for tons of Tonys. And there's a whole section of the play where Michael R. Jackson is just shitting on Tyler Perry. I mean, hard. It's a lot of fun. Like, just. It's just like he's just. It's a whole song called Tyler Perry Writes Real Life. And it just goes. And I mean, obviously, the boondocks.
David Borey
We want to pull it, sir.
Bob the Drag Queen
We did want to pull it. Yeah. Boondocks is obviously. I think, Boondocks. Michael R. Jackson. There's a lot of folks in the way before they're going to get to Tyler Reynolds.
Langston Kearney
Okay. Yeah, for sure.
David Borey
I think we're going to be easier targets to pick off real quick.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Langston Kearney
They're going to think they could get us.
Bob the Drag Queen
Do you think the Keown fight, what, enough? Cause Albert's also. He's massive.
David Borey
He's a big guy.
Langston Kearney
That's what I worry about.
Bob the Drag Queen
He's big.
David Borey
He's a big guy.
Bob the Drag Queen
He's like 6, 4, and he's sturdy.
David Borey
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
The good thing about New Orleans is big.
Langston Kearney
The good thing about us, I'm strong as fuck and he has a scrappy will to live.
David Borey
Yeah.
Langston Kearney
I got kids, so I think together.
Bob the Drag Queen
How many kids you got?
David Borey
I'll kill Tyler Perry.
Langston Kearney
Yeah.
David Borey
You know what I mean? Like, if that's the scenario we're presenting, I'll bite that motherfucker's.
Langston Kearney
Face off.
Bob the Drag Queen
I was not presenting that, but you. No, Bob.
David Borey
You asked me straight up would I kill Tyler Perry, and I tell you,
Bob the Drag Queen
rewind the tape back. Rewind the tape back. I'm telling you.
David Borey
Hate to say it here with the cameras, but that's push come to shot.
Bob the Drag Queen
How many kids you got?
David Borey
I got two.
Bob the Drag Queen
Two? How many you got any kids?
Langston Kearney
I got no kids.
Bob the Drag Queen
No kids?
Langston Kearney
You may. I just want to kill for the feel of it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Just to see the.
David Borey
Thanks for holding me down.
Bob the Drag Queen
Back. Just to see a man's life drained from his eyes.
Langston Kearney
I just want the experience, you know?
Bob the Drag Queen
You ever watched anyone die before?
David Borey
No.
Langston Kearney
No. Like real time. Yeah, I saw a guy get hit on a motorcycle in Africa once, and he died.
David Borey
I've seen the results of an accident. I've never, like, come out of my apartment, seen a lady dead under a car. Yeah, I've never seen the actual, like, impact that led to.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's brutal.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, I saw a nigga get. I also saw a guy I think they killed.
Bob the Drag Queen
Did you check on him?
Langston Kearney
No, man.
David Borey
Okay.
Langston Kearney
It was so crazy. We were in Sierra Leone and we were on the Poda Porta and we were, like, leaving because, like, it's not like a bus. It's just like, they get these minivans and they hollow them out, and then they put metal bench seats in so there's more seats. So that's how you, like, take the bus. And they just come on the corner and they yell where they're going, and you hop in. You know what I mean? So they'll be like, come back down, come back down, come back down. And you're like, oh, shit. And you run in. Anyways, I was on the. Put up. Put up. And we were going around the corner, and there was just this swarm of people, and they all had their flip flop halfback. Like, this is like a leather sandal. Yeah, they all had their sandals off. And there was this guy on top of the crowd, and they were beating the shit out of him. Why keep mine like they've just beat up? Because there's no. It's just like. There's no. It's just, like, street. So if they catch you stealing, it's like, people really don't be stealing like that.
Bob the Drag Queen
All up for stealing.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
David Borey
Fuck.
Langston Kearney
But they were. They were. But he was on top of the crowd and everybody was going. And he looked, like, close to him.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like it was his last.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, he looked like it wasn't going good.
David Borey
You seen the light leave someone's Eyes.
Langston Kearney
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
I've watched some family members die in their, like, last moments. Like in the hospital bed, though. Yeah, it's pretty brutal.
Langston Kearney
That still counts.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, it's hard to watch.
Langston Kearney
Yeah.
David Borey
I don't think one is worse than the other.
Langston Kearney
I don't think so, either.
Bob the Drag Queen
I think it's probably worse when it's someone you love and know.
David Borey
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Langston Kearney
I didn't. I didn't. I was just like, oh, cool. Another experience.
Bob the Drag Queen
Cool is crazy. Cool is.
Langston Kearney
Crazy is a catch all term for me because I'm emotionally stunted.
David Borey
He hasn't done the work, you see.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, it means a lot of things.
Bob the Drag Queen
There it is. That's all that was. I'm picking up what you're putting down. I don't know that I want it in my hands, but.
Langston Kearney
No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't.
Bob the Drag Queen
You don't.
Langston Kearney
Because it's dead.
Bob the Drag Queen
And it's cool, too. And it's cool that it's dead.
David Borey
You're gonna want to see this.
Langston Kearney
No. I hate dead animals.
Bob the Drag Queen
Y' all best friends?
David Borey
I think we're cool. We're pretty high. It's high up there.
Langston Kearney
We're both very guarded. That's why we even answered it like that.
David Borey
We've never had that conversation.
Langston Kearney
Our response was crazy.
David Borey
We've never had the. It's never come up for the longest, and it remains a type of true. In my head. There's a best friend that, like, is of a yesteryear in my life, and
Langston Kearney
I got a group of them, so
David Borey
I go, that is my best friend.
Bob the Drag Queen
Y' all got friends in common. Yeah.
David Borey
Yeah, a lot. Yeah.
Langston Kearney
But I don't talk to anybody besides, man, truly, besides my wife. I don't really talk to anybody as much as I talk to Langston.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, y'.
Langston Kearney
All.
Bob the Drag Queen
Y'. All. Y' all play video games.
David Borey
No, no, no.
Langston Kearney
We just went to the movies.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, all straight guys play video games. I, I.
Langston Kearney
We're really.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm also assuming you're straight. I don't know.
Langston Kearney
We're straight. We're not the best at it.
Bob the Drag Queen
No.
David Borey
Yeah, we're.
Bob the Drag Queen
We're.
David Borey
We're really phoning it in as far as straight men.
Langston Kearney
I think we got traits. I think we got straight traits.
David Borey
I stand straight as fuck.
Bob the Drag Queen
When you go home, when you get home and your wife asks you, how was your day? What's your response? Langston, I was.
Langston Kearney
Get her, bitch. See, that was me phoning it in.
David Borey
It'd be better if you had my shit to go.
Langston Kearney
No, no, truth.
Bob the Drag Queen
Langston, how was work? Today.
Langston Kearney
Oh, yeah. This. Let's do this. Daddy. Hi, Langston.
Bob the Drag Queen
That sucks.
Langston Kearney
You.
Bob the Drag Queen
Hi, Langston. I'm your wife. How was work today?
David Borey
It was fine. It was too. Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's too little information.
David Borey
Okay. Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's too little information.
David Borey
I don't offer a lot of information.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's too little information. David, how was work today?
Langston Kearney
I saw a dog with ass on the drive home.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay. See, this is.
David Borey
You're got to be. Okay. That's the type of stuff I gotta.
Bob the Drag Queen
You gotta give some information about what you do at work today.
David Borey
What I felt.
Bob the Drag Queen
I had a straight guy live with me recently. My nephew.
David Borey
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
And it was crazy. I ain't lived with a straight guy since my brother in college. Ok. And they don't talk. They don't tell you. You have to, like, pry you straight. You have to pry so much for the smallest details.
Langston Kearney
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know where you went. I don't know what you did. I don't know how you feeling. None of that.
David Borey
I take more interest in the arguments of my day than I do in the actions of my day. Yeah.
Langston Kearney
Oh, that's fair.
David Borey
So if you ask me how, like, you know what I mean? What did I do with my day? That sucks. I hate this conversation. But if you ask me what enraged you in your day or what provoked you in your day or what interested you in your day, that's when I think I'm able to better land the conversation.
Langston Kearney
See, I am crazy. Shit. I saw, like, a dog with ass.
Bob the Drag Queen
Or, like, oh, man, I saw the craziest of redhead ripped apart on top of a bus wearing sandals.
Langston Kearney
I saw a guy get killed.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Langston Kearney
Like, stuff like. That's like. That's like. But me and my wife, that's what we talk about. Look at that crazy thing.
Bob the Drag Queen
Your wife, African American. Yeah. Where's she from?
Langston Kearney
Literally, African American.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like.
Langston Kearney
Like, I'm like, her family's from here.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, her whole family's from here.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, yeah, but, I mean, my family's not from here, but I was born here.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Langston Kearney
I mean, I.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay. Me and my best friend have this argument all the time. Like, she doesn't like it, and the Internet's gonna get mad again. But I. African American is like a whole ethnicity in and of itself, and my best friend is Caribbean.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
And I'm like, you're not African American. Like, you're Caribbean. Like, you're like. All your. Like, your whole upbringing is, like, Caribbean. You're going back and forth to St. Lucia.
David Borey
You want some foundation, you got the
Langston Kearney
curry goat who's your best friend?
Bob the Drag Queen
Monet exchange.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, we had Monet on.
David Borey
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
So how was that experience?
Langston Kearney
Great.
David Borey
Great. We love Monet.
Langston Kearney
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
I am gonna ask you to raise.
Langston Kearney
You said that. Crazy, though. Yeah.
David Borey
You really made it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, I am gonna ask you who's a better guest when we're done. Oh, wow.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay. It is very comparison.
Langston Kearney
Okay. That is what we don't have. Really.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, God, I'm so competitive. It's. Honestly, it's in the realm of talk.
David Borey
I'll say. This Monet showed up with a conspiracy.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, I could have.
Langston Kearney
I didn't know.
Bob the Drag Queen
I also.
Langston Kearney
We got a Monet clip viral.
David Borey
I'm also.
Langston Kearney
That bingo shit was. That bingo shit went viral.
Bob the Drag Queen
Monet is a conspiracy theorist. I'm not a conspiracy theorist.
David Borey
Okay, tell us why.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm kind of like. I just believe it is what it is. You know what I mean? Like, I really think we went to the moon. I really think the earth is round.
David Borey
I really think there's nothing that you find yourself second guessing that you're so sure.
Bob the Drag Queen
A short period of time where I went down the rabbit hole. This tiny, tiny, very niche conspiracy theory, but I didn't find enough information to substantiate it, which was that Stephen King killed John Lennon. What? Yes. Cause Stephen King is one of the last people to see John Lennon alive.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, The New Englander Stephen King.
Bob the Drag Queen
Stephen King.
Langston Kearney
I don't know why I qualified him that way.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, you know, he's also. He's also freakishly tall.
Langston Kearney
Really?
Bob the Drag Queen
I believe that, like about 6. 5, 6.
Langston Kearney
6 authors are weird like that. Have you ever seen what Dean Koontz looks like?
David Borey
Nah, I ain't the same with.
Langston Kearney
Look up Dean Koontz right now. Continue your thing.
Bob the Drag Queen
But I was walking down in Union Square, like 2008, and I just found a flyer that said Stephen King killed John Lennon. That's all I said on it.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Stephen King killed John Lennon. And I think it might have had a website. Actually, I went to the website and it laid out a little bit of information about how Stephen King was the last was allegedly, according to this random Internet thing I found. It might have been a play. I don't know what it was, but I might have been seeing advertisements.
Langston Kearney
That's a good play.
Bob the Drag Queen
And it was about how Stephen King. But I have not found anything about Stephen King killing John Lennon anywhere on the Internet since that day.
David Borey
Okay, so the key facts regarding this theory, according to the Google Overview. AI overviews, we're trusting the computers to.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, Google AI Overview thinks that I wear hearing aids. Yeah, it's really, like, it's adamant. Like, if you Google Bob the Drag wearing hearing aids, it is like, 100%. He's open about his hearing loss and his connection to, like, the community through his hearing device.
David Borey
And is that just because you have earpieces in there?
Bob the Drag Queen
I had an earring in one time that kind of wrapped around my ear on the traders, and people were like, that's it. The hearing aid.
David Borey
This man is hearing.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, this man is deaf.
Bob the Drag Queen
They were convinced that I'm hard of hearing. Like, convinced that I'm hard.
Langston Kearney
Do you hear good?
Bob the Drag Queen
I hear perfectly well.
Langston Kearney
Oh, my goodness.
Bob the Drag Queen
I have a terrible sense of smell.
Langston Kearney
Even that's pretty.
Bob the Drag Queen
I have a hair. I can barely smell anything.
Langston Kearney
Does that affect your taste?
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't think so, I think, but I would know.
David Borey
Yeah, it has to, probably.
Bob the Drag Queen
I like spicy food, but do you feel like you're like sour candy, but
Langston Kearney
you don't feel like you're like, a super taster?
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm definitely not.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Definitely not.
Langston Kearney
Me either. I like it. I like salt. I like sweet.
Bob the Drag Queen
But I can. Using my nose, I can tell the difference between alcohols. I could be like, whiskey, tequila.
Langston Kearney
I think that might be, like, you've spent a lot of time in the field.
Bob the Drag Queen
All right. What does Google AI Overview say?
David Borey
Okay. According to the Google AI Overview, the perpetrator Mark David Chapman shot and killed John Lennon on 12-8-19. December 8, 1980. As documented on Wikipedia. The theories claim. Lightfoot claims Stephen King was hired by the CIA with involvement from Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan. Damn. It was the last team up they had to assassinate Lenin. Response to the theory. The claims are widely considered to be lunatic ravings and a bizarre conspiracy theory.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm so glad you clicked lucrative ravings and lunatic ravings. That you would have changed the whole.
David Borey
No, it would have been.
Langston Kearney
We're trying to turn this into lucrative ratings ravings. That's my brand.
David Borey
Stephen King himself has encountered this theory, including a moment where an individual yelled. But this accusation at him, which he dismissed him. He has publicly been challenged on it, and he claims he did not do that.
Bob the Drag Queen
So I looked into this theory a little bit, but it's been probably 18, 17 years since I actually gave this conspiracy theory any credence.
Langston Kearney
Okay. That's like a tough. Somebody killed somebody is always tough for me because it's like, I don't think the government is activating celebrities to kill anybody.
Bob the Drag Queen
I wouldn't. Not a celebrity.
Langston Kearney
I wouldn't Stephen King, though, is like a celebrity.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, he is a celebrity. But I'm saying I don't think the government would. I don't think the government would be like Madonna. Can you go stab Lady Gaga?
Langston Kearney
Right.
David Borey
You know what I mean?
Langston Kearney
Right, right, right.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, they would probably find a bodyguard to stab Lady Gaga. I'm not interested in anyone stabbing Lady Gaga.
Langston Kearney
To be correct. No, I like Gaga.
David Borey
Hey, but we'll fuck up Tyler Perry.
Bob the Drag Queen
Tyler Perry on site.
Langston Kearney
We're going to kill him. Is that what you want?
David Borey
Don't do that.
Langston Kearney
Don't do that. You funny. No, I said I could. You started the pin. You started the beer.
Bob the Drag Queen
I think you said, I will.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, and I think you said.
Bob the Drag Queen
I think you said a date, a time and a location. You have a Google spreadsheet that I'm shared on.
David Borey
And this is why.
Bob the Drag Queen
And if the FBI reaches out to me, I will share it with you as well.
David Borey
And this is why your nephew wouldn't talk to you. Do you see how you act? This is why your nephew didn't want
Bob the Drag Queen
to open up camion. That can't be true. Comment below.
Langston Kearney
We just fucked up everybody's AI overview right now. Wait, we should take a break before.
Bob the Drag Queen
Go to break now.
Langston Kearney
Please.
David Borey
Okay, let's. Please.
Bob the Drag Queen
She said please.
Langston Kearney
She's at her withdrawal.
Bob the Drag Queen
Y' all got her stressed out.
Langston Kearney
She's at her wish list.
David Borey
I told you, it's chaos.
Bob the Drag Queen
It is not.
David Borey
You thought you were gonna fix it and you can't.
Bob the Drag Queen
I can fix it in the next half.
David Borey
All right, let's see.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay.
David Borey
Good luck.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm like. I'm like. I can fix them.
Langston Kearney
No. You won't be the first person who said that to me and tried wholeheartedly. I'm. Since he got out, bad things keep happening.
Bob the Drag Queen
Cape Fear, a new series is streaming June 5th on Apple TV. Why would I want to hurt you? Starring Academy Award winner Javier Bardem. Why? And Academy Award nominee Amy Adams.
Langston Kearney
He is coming after my face. Family.
Bob the Drag Queen
Cape fear streaming June 5th on Apple TV. Amazon Health AI presents Painful Thoughts.
Langston Kearney
Why did I search the Internet for answers to my cold sore problem? Now I'm stuck down a rabbit hole filled with images of alarmingly graphic sores in various stages of ooze. I can clear my search history, but I could never unsee that.
Bob the Drag Queen
Don't go down the rabbit hole. Amazon Health AI gets you the right care fast. Healthcare just got less painful. Hello?
Malcolm Glebel
Hello, this is Malcolm Glabel from Smart talks with IBM. Today we're diving into a fascinating conversation with Stefano Pallard. Head of fan development for Scuderia for rehp.
Stefano Pallard
Your pronunciation is strongly American. It's more Scuderia Ferrari.
Malcolm Glebel
I'm still working on rolling my R's, but what I was able to learn from Stefano was the importance of engaging the Tifosi, the Ferrari superfans in the digital age.
Stefano Pallard
Ferrari fans and super fans want to be part of something, want to belong to something. So they want to be part of a community and ultimately they want to be part of a winning team.
Malcolm Glebel
You've got Ferrari, which has a long history, design history, and now you're interacting in a kind of digital space. I'm curious how you balance those two traditions.
Stefano Pallard
When it comes to fan engagement, it's really digital technology and digital channels are being able to create a deeper connection with our fans.
Malcolm Glebel
To learn more about how Ferrari and IBM are using technology to build deeper connections with fans, visit IBM.com Ferrari
CJ Toledano
this week on Point Game with me, CJ Toledano and Isaiah Thomas. It shares why he thinks the Cavs are going to beat the Knicks to earn a trip to the NBA Finals. Take a listen.
Langston Kearney
I think it's going to be an exciting matchup.
David Borey
You know, I got hopefully James Harden is ready to, you know, do his thing. I know Donovan Mitchell is going to be ready, but I think the key factor is going to be having games
Langston Kearney
like Mobley had last game.
David Borey
Jared Allen, Sam Merrill, they're going to
Langston Kearney
need guys like that to step up to be able to win. But I do got the Cavs beating the Knicks in the conference finals.
CJ Toledano
This has been brought to you by DraftKings. The Crown is Yours Point Game with Isaiah Thomas as CJ Toledano releases new episodes every Tuesday on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. And be sure to download the DraftKings sportsbook app now and use code point game to claim your profit boost. That's code point game to get a bo every day of the NBA playoffs in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours gambling problem. Call 1-800- gambler or 1-800- my reset New York call 877-8-Hopeny or text hopeny Connecticut, call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org on behalf of Boothill Casino in Kansas. Wager tax pass through May apply in Illinois 21 in most states. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive bonus bets which expire in seven days. Days minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see DKNG Co Audio Limited time offer.
Langston Kearney
We are back.
Bob the Drag Queen
Nobody supposed to be here.
Langston Kearney
Well, I came. You want to check the candles?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. Who are on these candles? Tomorrow can I.
David Borey
Like, you gonna tell me he's ugly too?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, but he's not.
Langston Kearney
That's not true.
Bob the Drag Queen
But he's not as fine as you're saying.
Langston Kearney
Come on, Bob.
Bob the Drag Queen
He's not. Bob, Bob.
David Borey
Just say you got a specific taste.
Langston Kearney
That's what it is. Do you not like light skins?
Bob the Drag Queen
No. Is my partner light skinned? No, he's between y'. All.
David Borey
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Closer to you.
Langston Kearney
That's literally the spectrum.
David Borey
He's like.
Langston Kearney
He's.
Bob the Drag Queen
He's either the top or the bottom.
David Borey
Nigga.
Bob the Drag Queen
He's black. He's like the good of the good doctor over here.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
David Borey
I don't think that's solidly black.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. Maybe a little bit darker than Billy Dee.
Langston Kearney
Did you ever hear people say I'm cookie colored?
David Borey
No.
Langston Kearney
I've heard that a lot.
David Borey
And I would have made a scene if somebody.
Bob the Drag Queen
But he's not. I mean, he's not as dark as me, but I feel like what Shemar Moore is offering is a really nice body.
David Borey
Beautiful body.
Bob the Drag Queen
So you gotta tell me,
Langston Kearney
you think
Bob the Drag Queen
this guy could take your girl?
David Borey
Yes. Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
No. Body excluded. Body excluded.
David Borey
Yep.
Bob the Drag Queen
You think if this guy either gained a little weight or got really skinny, he could take your girl from you?
David Borey
I think if we're keeping the jaw, head and jaw exactly as it is. He scares me if he gets chubby.
Langston Kearney
He also looks like the devil with that facial hair.
David Borey
Yeah, 100%. And I think the devil does that kind of magic.
Langston Kearney
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, shamanis for watching. I want to acknowledge you are. Obviously, you don't need my. You are like.
David Borey
You're the last holdout.
Langston Kearney
I mean, you are the.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, nine out of ten didn't recommend cress. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, but. So you don't need my support. You are like objectively good looking. Him. Boris. Kojo.
Langston Kearney
I was gonna say. How do you feel about Boris?
Bob the Drag Queen
I think Boris is hotter than him.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Easily.
Langston Kearney
Because those are like the 90s fine men.
Bob the Drag Queen
Don't you put some respect on Taye Diggs name.
Langston Kearney
Oh, I'm a Taye Diggs man.
Bob the Drag Queen
What's some. I'm a Taye Diggs.
David Borey
Never.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm a Diggs man.
Langston Kearney
I've been dark since day one.
Bob the Drag Queen
Taye Diggs was hot in a way that changed me as a person.
Langston Kearney
Really? What's your finest?
Bob the Drag Queen
Taye Diggs butt naked in the wood.
Langston Kearney
I was going to say that. Probably had to be him.
Bob the Drag Queen
He is booty butt naked in the world.
Langston Kearney
He's booty butt naked.
David Borey
Getting sprayed off.
Bob the Drag Queen
Getting sprayed off.
Langston Kearney
He's got a body where you're like. That doesn't even even look. That look like action figure.
Bob the Drag Queen
It looks crazy.
Langston Kearney
It's nuts. Crazy.
David Borey
He was so buff. We didn't even know he was short. Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
And I kind of like short guys. I didn't know he was not kind of. I like short guys.
Langston Kearney
I didn't know he was that short. Is he that short?
Bob the Drag Queen
He's probably like 5, 5, 5, 6. Yeah.
Langston Kearney
Explains the hats. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that explains the hat.
David Borey
Also explains. It also explains all that dancing.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, but like fedora dance.
David Borey
I think you gotta learn to peacock a different way when you go. And I think he figured that out.
Langston Kearney
I don't like it when a man of regular height is a great dancer.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, you're a good dancer.
David Borey
I'm pretty good. I wouldn't call myself a great dancer. I've seen your work. I'm a big fan.
Bob the Drag Queen
Can we get.
David Borey
I don't want to go choreographed for choreographs.
Bob the Drag Queen
How tall? Yeah, I'm 5 11. Is that true?
Langston Kearney
Yeah, that's true.
Bob the Drag Queen
Cause you said it like it wasn't.
David Borey
Yeah, and I'mma keep backing up. So what? So what?
Bob the Drag Queen
How tall are you?
Langston Kearney
I'm like five eight, five, nine.
Bob the Drag Queen
Five, eight, five, nine.
Langston Kearney
Well, I was telling Langston this.
Bob the Drag Queen
You look giant. Like a monster. Huh? Six, four.
Langston Kearney
Are you serious?
Bob the Drag Queen
What are you?
Langston Kearney
Yeah. Wait. Yeah. What are you?
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm a dainty 6:2. I make it look like 6:4.
Langston Kearney
Nobody put those words.
David Borey
You want to be shorter than six?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, I take.
Langston Kearney
Well, give me some.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, I'm six' two. I'm a. I am. But I've been six' two since I was in seventh grade. I have not grown an inch since seventh grade.
David Borey
You have no idea what that would have done for me. Me too.
Langston Kearney
Honestly, it would have derailed me.
David Borey
I don't know.
Langston Kearney
If you gave me six' two at
Bob the Drag Queen
13, I don't think it would have been. Because whatever you think you were getting, I was not getting.
Langston Kearney
I don't even mean sexually. I just mean, like, confidence wise athletically.
David Borey
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
I was also 125 pounds, though. So I was like, imagine the same height I am now, but I have lost 110 pounds.
Langston Kearney
See, that's okay. You were being like.
Bob the Drag Queen
I was like. It was very Slender man before Slenderman.
Langston Kearney
We were probably the same weight when you were 16. Probably.
David Borey
You weren't interested in sports at all.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, but they were Interested in me.
Langston Kearney
I was gonna say to be that tall, dark skinned and somebody had to come with me.
Bob the Drag Queen
I thought it was best viewing. Well, they used to call me a monstar.
David Borey
Jesus.
Langston Kearney
I'm sorry that happened to you. We do have to acknowledge how hilarious young black kids are.
David Borey
Yeah. That is the land acknowledgement we do here.
Langston Kearney
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is. This is deontay land.
David Borey
This is sacred land for little black
Bob the Drag Queen
kids who make fun of people. You like one of the monsters? Because Space Jam just came out. They call me a monstar.
Langston Kearney
Damn.
Bob the Drag Queen
Brutal.
Langston Kearney
Damn. Damn.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, black kids are really creative. And so I got really, really good at making fun of people because I had just moved to Atlanta from lagrange, Georgia. Oof.
Langston Kearney
I said oof. I don't know where that is. I just wanted to seem cool.
Bob the Drag Queen
Lagrange, it's like between Columbus and Atlanta, but you don't know where Columbus is. This is Georgia. Atlanta. LaGrange. Columbus.
Langston Kearney
Country or not, I guess is all I want to know.
Bob the Drag Queen
Lagrange. Yeah, like country suburbs.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
But it's not a suburb though, because it's so far from Atlanta.
Langston Kearney
Okay. But major city, movie theater, grocery store, all that stuff.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, for sure.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
All that stuff. Yeah, yeah. And an amusement park. Callaway Gardens.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. Okay. So when I moved to Atlanta from LaGrange, I was very awkward looking, very skinny, very tall, middle afro. And I had to get really good at making fun of people because they would make fun of me. I'm gay, I'm tall, I look crazy. And I was like, I have to.
Langston Kearney
That's like for junior high school. That's.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's the worst.
Langston Kearney
You really only need one of those, brother.
David Borey
That's the hat trick.
Bob the Drag Queen
So you only have two options. You have two options to get respect. Either beat somebody up or make fun of people.
David Borey
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
And I did both. Yeah.
Langston Kearney
Oh, okay.
David Borey
You could fight.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, I haven't had any fight in so long, I don't even know if I can still fight. And I don't want to find out.
Langston Kearney
I do want to say, by the way, you asked us if we could fight. It made me feel like you could fight.
David Borey
It felt like you could.
Langston Kearney
But you know the tone he had. Yeah. Because like, I feel like people who don't fight don't even ask it. I don't bring it up. People, yeah, they don't. People who can't fight, they don't be asking it. Like it's just another skill. You said it like, oh, do you scrapbook?
Bob the Drag Queen
I just like Asking people that question, which is. I'm always curious, but, I mean, I don't want to find out if I can fight. Last time I was in a physical altercation. 2016. Whoa.
Langston Kearney
Roughly the same. No, 14.
Bob the Drag Queen
I. Yeah. Yeah. I had to body slam a twink at a gay bar.
David Borey
Holy shit.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, weirdly, me too. You had to?
Bob the Drag Queen
You had to.
Langston Kearney
It's crazy. This fucking.
David Borey
You and me, we're not so different.
Bob the Drag Queen
This fucking chocolate twink came up to me and grabbed me while I was on stage performing. And I was in full drag. Full drag.
Langston Kearney
What?
David Borey
Wait, a big red wig, like, sexually, to grab you?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, he, like, pinned my arms to my side. Oh.
Langston Kearney
Like, he rushed the stage like a fan.
Bob the Drag Queen
I was lip syncing to Rihanna.
Langston Kearney
Which song?
Bob the Drag Queen
Sos Ironically, someone helped me.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, it's unhealthy.
David Borey
The song knew before we did.
Bob the Drag Queen
There's a chance it might have been Disturbia, but I wanted to be SOS for the story.
Langston Kearney
Okay, so that's good.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm lip syncing and then he, like, pins my arms down my side, and I'm like, okay, you gotta let me go. You gotta let me go.
Langston Kearney
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
And he's like. I think he. I don't think he's drunk. And I'm trying to just work and entertain. And I said to him, I said, if you don't let me go, I'm gonna have to take you down.
Langston Kearney
Did you like, this is a full face.
Bob the Drag Queen
So your mic's up, though.
Langston Kearney
So the whole.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, no, I don't have lipstick. So the mic is on the stand.
Langston Kearney
Oh, okay. Oh.
Bob the Drag Queen
So only he and I are here in this conversation.
Langston Kearney
Okay. And you're like, hey, I don't want to embarrass you, but I will.
David Borey
I'm gonna fuck you up.
Bob the Drag Queen
So then I had to hit him with a little judo hip toss to the ground. His legs went. There's a video on the Internet.
David Borey
That's awesome.
Bob the Drag Queen
There's a video of me body slamming a chocolate twink at the end.
David Borey
Well, I'd like to watch that.
Bob the Drag Queen
Hardware Hardware bar, man. Yeah.
Langston Kearney
I wish that some of my physical triumphs were on the Internet, you know,
Bob the Drag Queen
I have had a few, actually. So Monet, I believe Monet X Change, constantly thinks that she is more fit than me, which is.
Langston Kearney
Monet is tall. Are you guys the same height?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, Monet's five' ten.
David Borey
Yeah, Monet's closer to my height, I would say.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, Monet's five' ten.
Langston Kearney
You didn't say my height. And I'm five' ten.
David Borey
You Already admitted five' eight. Big dog.
Bob the Drag Queen
You did. You did. We have it on tv.
Langston Kearney
Here's what I'm saying.
Bob the Drag Queen
We have it on tv.
Langston Kearney
I was in the doctor.
Bob the Drag Queen
You guys should change. You guys should put a fake height thing on the door. They make everyone shorter that I like. What makes everyone shorter is they think they're tall. And then they'll be like, there's no way you're six to go. Say another thing.
Langston Kearney
Oh, that's cool.
David Borey
Well, you're trying to. I thought we were making ourselves taller.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, it's to hurt other people.
Langston Kearney
Yeah. And he's smart. We should think that way.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm not smart.
Langston Kearney
We should think that way.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm deceptive. So Monet X change thinks that she is stronger than me, and she thinks she is faster than me. In her defense, she is skinnier than me and she has less fat on her body than I do.
David Borey
She's pretty big.
Bob the Drag Queen
But I. I keep telling Monet, there as long as you've known each other, there's never been a period in your life since you've known each other you've been faster than me or that you've been stronger than me. It has never happened. Maybe one day when I age, I'm only four years older than her. So even if there is, it'll be a very small gap.
David Borey
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
But I'm faster than you, and I am stronger than you. And I'm so sorry that it is what it is. So we raced. She wanted to race on the Internet.
Langston Kearney
What was the distance?
Bob the Drag Queen
We. It was like maybe like 50 yards.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
And I. I fucking cleared her.
David Borey
Oh, you dusted her?
Langston Kearney
Oh, you smoked her.
Bob the Drag Queen
And no one believed in me. No one thought it was gonna be Monae, including. Y' all looking shocked.
David Borey
You were telling the story. And I still thought maybe Monet had a chance.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, I cleared her. And then Monet wanted to arm wrestle me.
David Borey
Oh, no.
Bob the Drag Queen
And I was like, Monet, I am. I am much larger than you.
David Borey
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Langston Kearney
And arm wrestling is like a leverage thing.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm probably 30 pounds heavier than Monat. I'm like, I am a bigger, stronger person than you.
David Borey
And I don't mean to get into your business, but I think there's a drag queen Olympics sitting in your lap. That.
Bob the Drag Queen
And I'm gonna take home the gold
David Borey
that you really should be investing in. Because if you are this athlete that it sounds like you are, you could win this thing.
Langston Kearney
And I tend to think dark skinned people are stronger. It's just a personal bias physically, probably,
David Borey
which is I unfortunately Feel the same way.
Bob the Drag Queen
But I will say, be careful with that rhetoric, because that's how the slavery happens.
Langston Kearney
That's what I'm saying. They're like, them niggas look strong. It's not good. It's not good.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's not good.
Langston Kearney
It's not good.
Bob the Drag Queen
They look durable as shit.
Langston Kearney
It's not good.
Bob the Drag Queen
Grab a couple.
Langston Kearney
But sometimes I see somebody, I'm like, I bet. I bet you go crazy.
Bob the Drag Queen
So I beat her in wrestling every year for the past 13 years.
Langston Kearney
You beat her every year?
Bob the Drag Queen
She has never even come close to beating me.
Langston Kearney
Oh, so it's not even a contest.
Bob the Drag Queen
And I beat her in foot race every time. We were.
David Borey
Oh, Monet, you gotta stop, baby.
Bob the Drag Queen
But she still insists that she's faster and stronger than me.
David Borey
Really?
Bob the Drag Queen
Which I think she's doing to fuck with me at this point, because she knows she's not. And in her defense, I keep gaining weight, and I don't mean.
Langston Kearney
That's a testament to your athletic ability, though.
Bob the Drag Queen
I have not gotten. I have not gotten skinnier since when I met Monet. I was like. I was like 185.
David Borey
Hey, you know who else did that? Paul Pierce.
Bob the Drag Queen
Who the hell is that?
David Borey
Hall of Fame basketball player. Oh, got it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Got it.
David Borey
One of the best to ever do it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Charles Barkley. He was a little Charles Barkley.
David Borey
Kept getting bigger.
Langston Kearney
Oh, there's fat athletes.
Bob the Drag Queen
Bigger and better.
Langston Kearney
Somebody said that on here one time.
Bob the Drag Queen
Mark Henry, fat athletes, the strongest man in the world.
Langston Kearney
I said that on here one time, and they got mad at me in the comments. I was like, you don't have to be fat and athletic. Don't like. No.
Bob the Drag Queen
You can be a fat athlete. Mark Henry is a world famous athlete, and he's. You wouldn't even argue that he's fat. He's a big guy.
Langston Kearney
He's not that big anymore, though.
Bob the Drag Queen
He what?
Langston Kearney
He's not as big as.
Bob the Drag Queen
He's old.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, you can't. I guess you can't be old and be that fat.
Bob the Drag Queen
Embarrassing moment I had on my podcast.
Langston Kearney
Yes.
Bob the Drag Queen
We were going back and forth about athletes, and I was like, I could beat Usain Bolt in a foot, right?
Langston Kearney
What?
Bob the Drag Queen
I was like, he's so old now. What? I was like, I could easily be. I was like, usain Bolt, first of
Langston Kearney
all, he's probably like six years younger than you.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, I was like, he ain't. He ain't 86.
Langston Kearney
He ain't 86, baby.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, let me tell my story. So I'm thinking about Taenu Sane. Bolt was the Fastest man in the world. And I was thinking, and that was so long ago, right? And I was like. And in my head, I was like, he must have been like 25 or 30 at the time. Now, I know a 30 year old would never be the fastest man in the world.
Langston Kearney
No.
Bob the Drag Queen
But I kept thinking to myself, baby, I am older than Usain Bolt.
Langston Kearney
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
The way Usain Bolt was born in 1986.
David Borey
I got some exciting news. You're younger than Usain Bolt.
Langston Kearney
What? Let's go, baby.
Bob the Drag Queen
What's his birthday?
David Borey
August 21st, 1986.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm June.
David Borey
That. Oh, you're a little bit old.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. That's how the month worked.
David Borey
Damn. That's why he's the fastest in the world.
Bob the Drag Queen
I was like, did I read it wrong? It was not a clip of Kathy, but that she thanked her mother at the Oscars.
Langston Kearney
Wait, Kathy Bates Misery.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. So there's this really powerful clip of her talking to some journalist. And she's going on, her mother has passed away. And she was like. Her mother was apparently not incredibly nice to her. She was like, I didn't even thank my mom. And he was like, no, you thanked her. And she was like, what? And he was like, no, you thanked your mom. You thanked her. And then he showed her a clip of her, and she was like, my mom. And then she, like, started bawling. Cause she had like. Her mom was like, you didn't even thank me. And then she just never went back and checked and she believed. So I thought I was about to have one of those moments. Like, I convinced myself I was gonna start crying.
Langston Kearney
That's also a mental warfare.
David Borey
Yeah.
Langston Kearney
Would you thank your mom if you got.
David Borey
I don't know.
Langston Kearney
I'm sorry. That felt weird.
Bob the Drag Queen
Are you close to your mom?
David Borey
I have had periods where my mother and I are deeply, deeply close. And then periods where we are not. And ebbs and flows.
Bob the Drag Queen
What period are we in?
David Borey
Right now we're closer to a knot, but it isn't out of lack of respect. Love, adoration as much as, like, we just ain't in a good mode together.
Bob the Drag Queen
But you did say you were lowkey, getting bullied at home.
David Borey
It wasn't low key. It was quite high key.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's brutal.
Langston Kearney
I don't know if I would thank my mom. It depends. On what? I'm kidding.
Kel Penn
Are you.
Bob the Drag Queen
Your mother close? Yeah. You wouldn't even thank her. What was your relationship with her? What's her name?
Langston Kearney
In proximity to the things that I do for money? Me?
Bob the Drag Queen
No.
David Borey
Yeah, she. I would say in this.
Langston Kearney
She knows what I do right now.
David Borey
This is where we're very locked in. Our mothers don't even know what the fuck is going on.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's so interesting. Can I ask your mom's name? Is that too personal?
Langston Kearney
No, it's okay. Sarah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Sarah.
David Borey
Wanda.
Bob the Drag Queen
Wanda, Martha.
David Borey
Martha.
Bob the Drag Queen
These are mom names. These are elite.
David Borey
Mom names of the three don't even exist no more.
Bob the Drag Queen
Sarah, Martha.
David Borey
You're still making more. Serious. They're not making more Wandas.
Langston Kearney
I don't think so.
Bob the Drag Queen
Ain't no Wandas.
Langston Kearney
I've never seen a baby Wanda in my life.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, I think my mom changed her name to Martha when she was 30.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, that's how it feels.
Bob the Drag Queen
Ain't no way. You're like, this is my five year old Martha. This is my. Hey, guys, welcome to kindergarten class. Wanda.
David Borey
Yeah.
Langston Kearney
And Wanda. Wanda sounds like she was born in a pantsuit.
Bob the Drag Queen
Wanda from HR.
Langston Kearney
That's like a. That's like a. That'S a Ms. Wanda. That Ms. Wanda. That's a big name.
David Borey
If I. If I put my empathetic. I think in some ways my mother's choices are a woman running from Wanda, not wanting to.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, we sound like one of those black woman podcasts. Yeah.
David Borey
I think she wants.
Langston Kearney
Who's to say we're not.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's true. That's true.
Langston Kearney
We're closer than you'd think.
Bob the Drag Queen
Wake it up. Wake it up. Wake it the fuck up. Y' all be wearing suits.
Langston Kearney
I just went to the Magic Castle. Oh, man.
Bob the Drag Queen
I bet you look real nice in a suit.
Langston Kearney
I look okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
You want to see the pigeon me online?
Langston Kearney
I went to the Magic Castle, but then I bought a suit and took it back.
Bob the Drag Queen
Damn. Well, that's fair. That's fair.
Langston Kearney
I'll tell you the truth. I bought a suit and my wife took it back. The man who sold it to me was too nice. I was like, fuck.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, she didn't.
David Borey
She didn't like the way you looked in it.
Langston Kearney
No, no, no. I didn't want the suit because I'm losing. I've been losing a lot of weight.
Bob the Drag Queen
We're getting.
Langston Kearney
We have the wedding. I was like, I'm just not trying to buy a suit for this yellow one. Yeah, we got married and then. Then we're going again.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's.
David Borey
They're doing it super fair, family style.
Bob the Drag Queen
Super fair. Where y' all getting married at?
Langston Kearney
In a rooftop downtown.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, here in la? Yeah. Okay. I don't know if you go to one of them destination things.
Langston Kearney
No, she's from here.
Bob the Drag Queen
Sarah Common.
Langston Kearney
Yeah. Of Course. Yeah.
David Borey
Sarah gotta be there.
Langston Kearney
I'm just annoyed. My mom, I talk to her all the time.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, shout out to Sarah.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, yeah, no, she would. I would. There's no world where I would get married and she wouldn't come.
Bob the Drag Queen
You'd be wearing suits.
David Borey
Yeah, yeah. I put a suit on.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like three piece, double breasted.
David Borey
I've got how many breasts your suit has? I, I, I. That's my little mask. I have a double breasted suit.
Bob the Drag Queen
I see the suit. This your wife? Mm.
CJ Toledano
Mm.
Bob the Drag Queen
This is a really nice suit.
Langston Kearney
Thank you. It's just gone now.
David Borey
It's never coming back.
Langston Kearney
It's not. It's not. It's back in business. No.
David Borey
You look beautiful. Yeah, I know. All right, we need to do a voicemail.
Bob the Drag Queen
I do think.
David Borey
Can we go to breakfast?
Langston Kearney
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay.
David Borey
We need to go to break.
Langston Kearney
I know, we're. It's gonna be fun.
David Borey
It's been chaos, but we can fill all of these in. More Bob the Drag Queen. More My mama told me.
Langston Kearney
Since he got out, bad things keep happening.
Bob the Drag Queen
Cape Fear, a new series is streaming June 5th on Apple TV. Why would I want to hurt you? Starring Academy Award winner Javier Bardem
David Borey
and
Bob the Drag Queen
Academy Award nominee Amy Adams.
Langston Kearney
He is coming after my family.
Bob the Drag Queen
Kate Fear, streaming June 5th on Apple TV. Amazon Health AI presents Painful Thoughts.
Langston Kearney
I. I can't stop scratching my downtown. Yeah, but I'm not itching to go downtown and tell a receptionist I'm here to talk about my downtown.
Bob the Drag Queen
Some things you'd rather type than say out loud. There's no question too embarrassing for Amazon Health AI. Chat your symptoms and get virtual care 24. 7 Healthcare just got less painful. Hello?
Malcolm Glebel
Hello, this is Malcolm Glebel from Smart talks with IBM. Today we're diving into a fascinating conversation with Stefano Pallard, head of fan development for Scuderia Ferrari hp.
Stefano Pallard
Your pronunciation is strongly American. It's more Scuderia Ferrari.
Malcolm Glebel
I'm still working on rolling my R's, but what I was able to learn from Stefano was the importance of engaging the Tifosi, the Ferrari superfans in the digital age.
Stefano Pallard
Ferrari fans and super fans want to be part of something, want to belong to something.
Langston Kearney
So.
Stefano Pallard
So they want to be part of a community. And ultimately they want to be part of a winning team.
Malcolm Glebel
You've got Ferrari, which has a long history, design history, and now you're interacting in a kind of digital space. I'm curious how you balance those two traditions.
Stefano Pallard
When it comes to fan engagement, it's really digital technology. And digital channels, are they enabled? To create a deeper connection. Connection with our fans.
Malcolm Glebel
To learn more about how Ferrari and IBM are using technology to build deeper connections with fans, visit IBM.com Ferrari
Bob the Drag Queen
now streaming on Paramount from executive producer Lena Waithe, the acclaimed series the Shy reaches its final chapter. For seven seasons, we've lived these stories, walk these streets, become part of this community. Now it all leads to this. Friendships will be tested, families will evolve, and secrets refuse to stay buried. As the past catches up and the future comes into focus, one truth remains. The Shy is more than a series. It's a legacy. Don't miss the final season of the Shy. Now streaming on the Paramount Premium plan. We are back.
Langston Kearney
Pop. Pop my butt. Pop my butt.
Bob the Drag Queen
Pop. Pop my butt. Do you know what pop my butt meant to Harriet Tubman?
David Borey
Do you know what that meant?
Bob the Drag Queen
It meant a whip.
Langston Kearney
Welcome back to My Mama Told Me We're Not Whipping Shit.
Bob the Drag Queen
Shout out to the book Harriet Tubman Live in Concert. New York Times bestseller written by this brilliant author, by the way. Let's go.
Langston Kearney
Let's go.
Bob the Drag Queen
Is it by the Pop My Butt lady? No. There's a book called Harriet Tubbin Live in Concert. It is a New York Times bestseller. It is an absolute banger of a book. It's a book about Harriet Tubman coming back to life and writing a hip hop album.
David Borey
Let's go.
Bob the Drag Queen
Was it.
Langston Kearney
Did she have bars or was it like a Hamilton kind of thing?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, she kind of has bars. So it's about the writing of the album. That's fun. So it's not like. Cause the Hamilton, like, Hamilton, like Alex Hamilton, he's not a rapper. He just. He happens to be rapping. It's kind of like Lil Mermaid. He's not a singer.
Langston Kearney
Right.
Bob the Drag Queen
But Harriet Tubman is writing a hip hop album.
Langston Kearney
That's really fun.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. And it's a really, really good book. Are you looking it up?
David Borey
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
I wanna know, do you guys read
Langston Kearney
books based on the New York Times bestseller list?
David Borey
I don't. Sounds like such a silly premise that I'm interested.
Bob the Drag Queen
Can you tell me a little bit about what you're saying here?
David Borey
Uh. Oh, it's Bob the Drag Queen.
Langston Kearney
Oh, yo, yo.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay. I got a friend in this village.
Langston Kearney
Yo, that was nice.
Bob the Drag Queen
Smooth.
Langston Kearney
Yeah.
David Borey
What a great way to plug.
Langston Kearney
I really liked it. You know what's crazy?
David Borey
We will be taking your plugs away on the back end.
Langston Kearney
My plug. My plug. We gonna snatch that shit like this.
Bob the Drag Queen
You know how much work I did with these plugs?
David Borey
All right, we need to do a voicemail together.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay.
David Borey
We have a fun one.
Bob the Drag Queen
What's up, Langston?
Langston Kearney
Bori.
Bob the Drag Queen
How you guys doing?
Langston Kearney
Pause. I think this man means us harm.
David Borey
I didn't like how he talked to us.
Langston Kearney
Something about the way I don't like it at all.
David Borey
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
You go by Gory.
Langston Kearney
I go by Bory. Yeah.
David Borey
Yeah. Boris G is silent.
Langston Kearney
That man stands for your man from the Congo, Esquire.
Bob the Drag Queen
And I called you David earlier.
Langston Kearney
David's my first name.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh. Cause you said David out there.
Langston Kearney
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, okay. I'm sorry.
Langston Kearney
Yeah.
David Borey
I just like either one.
Langston Kearney
I do either one. It's just Bori is like.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's very memorable.
Langston Kearney
Yeah. I introduce as David usually, but Bori's where it always ends up.
Bob the Drag Queen
Bori's good.
Langston Kearney
It's a solid last name.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, it's good. You know, I think you should go by introduce yourself as Bori, because you actually get to have a conversation. Then people like, my name is Bori. They'll be like, Bori, and you're like, Bori. So your name's probably gonna get said, like, three times just by saying your name. When you say, my name's Langston, be like, my name Lance. My name's David. Hi, my name's David. Hey, David. But no one's like, David, David, David. So get it up in there. But Bori, that's the. That's the.
Langston Kearney
You assume I talk to people, wanting them to remember me.
Bob the Drag Queen
That is true. That is true. You didn't even care. You seemed happier when I didn't remember you. You literally didn't remember.
Langston Kearney
Yeah. Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
And you probably asked him his name. You were happier back then.
Langston Kearney
I like to operate in the space of anonymity. Yes. Is that a problem holding me back in entertainment? Let's listen to the rest of this voicemail question.
Bob the Drag Queen
I go through this multiple times a day.
Langston Kearney
Maybe once a day. So let me know if y' all agree with this.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, he sounds hot. You think so? This man is fine.
Langston Kearney
This is a fine boys.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, this man is fine as fuck.
Langston Kearney
Whoa.
Bob the Drag Queen
I can tell.
Langston Kearney
Really?
David Borey
We rarely listen in that way.
Langston Kearney
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, this guy's very attractive.
Langston Kearney
Well, I would say because. Just because we're straight, I feel like a lot of our female callers at Colin do sound fine.
David Borey
They do sound cute. Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
And dress is nice.
Langston Kearney
You could tell.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes.
Langston Kearney
You think he smells good?
David Borey
Oh, you think this man has it all together?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. He probably smells. Yeah. Way harder than you. He probably. Someone needs to humble you.
David Borey
You nasty bitch. You nasty bitch.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm sorry.
Langston Kearney
Listen, in my hometown.
Bob the Drag Queen
Sorry, I don't Know why I'm bullying you? I don't know why it happens. It's so uncalled for.
Langston Kearney
I feel like people usually pick one
David Borey
of us to always pick a target.
Bob the Drag Queen
I believe whoever think has the most privilege, you know what I mean?
David Borey
That's fair. That's fair.
Bob the Drag Queen
Let's listen to this.
Langston Kearney
Fine.
David Borey
I'm so excited for you to hear
Bob the Drag Queen
the rest of this. So when you're brushing your teeth and
Langston Kearney
you're brushing your tongue, you know you
Bob the Drag Queen
have the gag reference reflex.
Langston Kearney
But I don't want to do that
Bob the Drag Queen
because it feels weird as.
Langston Kearney
And
Bob the Drag Queen
it's kind of feels kind of gay. Right. Okay.
Langston Kearney
I don't anymore. I hate if I rush my tongue and I don't want to do the gag reflex and I don't do it.
Bob the Drag Queen
I hate this guy.
Langston Kearney
Is that gay? Because I just stuck this toothbrush down my throat and didn't gag.
Bob the Drag Queen
I hate him. You wanted to. This man. I hate this guy. I hate this guy.
Langston Kearney
I hate this guy now. He was so horny over there.
David Borey
I was.
Bob the Drag Queen
And I hate him now. I hate him. And you know the most upsetting part? I now think he's probably more good looking than I thought he was.
Langston Kearney
I was worried about that. I know.
Bob the Drag Queen
He actually, based on what he said, I know he's even hotter than I thought he was.
Langston Kearney
Oh, he's brushing his tongue, which is so upsetting.
Bob the Drag Queen
That being said. I'm so mad at myself. I'm so mad at myself.
David Borey
It was really funny how you.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm living with myself right now. This fucking homophobe over here.
David Borey
Fucking.
Langston Kearney
We've all fallen in love with somebody. You kind. Kind of hated us before.
Bob the Drag Queen
This is horrible for me.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, this sucks for you.
David Borey
You thought you were gonna build a harem.
Bob the Drag Queen
I really did.
Langston Kearney
Yeah. You thought you were gonna have a third mate.
David Borey
Yep.
Bob the Drag Queen
That is horrible.
Langston Kearney
That sucks.
David Borey
It's really funny.
Bob the Drag Queen
Sucks.
Langston Kearney
I don't know.
David Borey
It's really funny to think that brushing your teeth is gay or that the
Langston Kearney
gag reflex is gay. Wouldn't it be more gay to not have the gag reflex? Yeah. Not to be even in within your logic.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, not to be too vulgar, but I.
Langston Kearney
No, I saw you. I saw you scoff when he mentioned it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, I was like angry. It's like a toothbrush.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, but did you have to work on it? I feel like I've met a lot of people in life you have to work on. I feel like I've met a lot of people in my life who say it as a bragging thing. And I'm Like. But if it's a natural reflex, you did have to like. It's like learning how to smoke cigarettes, I assume, or drink coffee.
Bob the Drag Queen
I've met people who have overcome their gag reflex.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
For sure. I've met several people who have overcome their gag reflex. I never really. It's like heels. I could just walk in heels immediately, like, if there was no practice.
David Borey
You didn't have.
Bob the Drag Queen
Immediately put them on immediately. Walking heels, gag reflex. I will say it is like. It's less. This is gonna sound really vulgar. The more you want it down your throat, the less your gag reflex will be.
David Borey
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay. So, like, if it's something you really want in there. I mean, if it's someone who's really. I could take your arm up to the elbow if I'm really wanting it. Please.
David Borey
My God.
Langston Kearney
I don't have a button for it. Press a button. I don't have a button. Just press something. I don't have a button for that. Hey, where the bitches at? It's supposed to be titties. Where the fucking titties in the bitches?
Bob the Drag Queen
So, I mean, maybe this guy just doesn't want to brush his teeth so bad enough.
Langston Kearney
You know what I mean?
David Borey
And I do think that's the problem.
Bob the Drag Queen
He's actually dirty. Fighting his urge to not be dirty.
David Borey
He's just trying to find a way to not brush his teeth. That's crazy.
Langston Kearney
Also get a tongue scraper, bro.
David Borey
I ain't never gagged on a hot dog.
Langston Kearney
I don't know.
Bob the Drag Queen
Can we talk about hot dog?
Langston Kearney
That's a good point right now. That's a good. That is a good point.
Bob the Drag Queen
Because I want that last talking point be how great the chili dog is.
David Borey
It's a really good.
Bob the Drag Queen
We go on and on about the hamburger. Ain't no way you gonna tell me a chili cheese dog with cheddar is not better than a cheddar bacon hamburger.
David Borey
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, it is an elite.
Langston Kearney
It is elite in flavor. I think the frequency is what?
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, you can't have too many.
Langston Kearney
I can't have a couple hamburgers in a month. I can't do a chili dog.
David Borey
You really gotta try.
Langston Kearney
I do chili dogs maybe twice a year.
David Borey
Yeah, you gotta treat chili dogs like doing my.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, exactly. Maybe at a festival, you get holes in your brain.
Bob the Drag Queen
You know, it blows my mind. I don't drink a lot of coffee. Right.
Langston Kearney
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
So that's another way I say with the New York accent, coffee. I don't know why. It's for my years in New York City.
Langston Kearney
You know what? I've found people who live in New York. That's the one affectation they'll all take.
Bob the Drag Queen
You hear coffee so much. Yeah.
Langston Kearney
And I just. So many people.
Bob the Drag Queen
Cup of coffee.
Langston Kearney
Like people who don't have a New York accent.
Bob the Drag Queen
Besides just coffee. So I don't drink a lot of coffee because I just don't. I'm a Red Bull girly.
Langston Kearney
Right.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm telling you right now, when I drink a cup of coffee, I have 30 minutes until we're evacuating the dance floor. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who is drinking coffee and getting on a plane? People are drinking coffee and then boarding the plane.
David Borey
I see it all the time on
Bob the Drag Queen
a five hour flight to fucking.
David Borey
You're still gorgeous. Don't stop for a second. You're still gorgeous.
Bob the Drag Queen
Tell me that. Stop. Who is fucking? Who's doing that?
Langston Kearney
I never even. I don't drink coffee like that, so I never even thought about it.
Bob the Drag Queen
But it make you poop, don't it?
Langston Kearney
There are people who do pee on
David Borey
the plane and I've never related to them at all.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, I.
Langston Kearney
You don't poop on the plane ever.
Bob the Drag Queen
I've had to.
David Borey
Not with like it without some shame.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, no, no. If I'm shitting on a plane, it is a disaster.
David Borey
This is the worst day of my life.
Langston Kearney
Yes. Honestly, I'm just proud I could fit in there now.
David Borey
Let's go.
Bob the Drag Queen
You must have lost a lot of weight.
Langston Kearney
Oh, yeah, I was, I was not. It was like, I'm assuming you're trying, what?
Bob the Drag Queen
You're trying to lose weight.
Langston Kearney
Not very sad.
David Borey
This is not going good.
Bob the Drag Queen
At home one time there was this guy who was like, no, I'm trying,
Langston Kearney
I swear to God.
Bob the Drag Queen
There was a guy who was like directing a show I was doing and we had been between seasons. And I saw him. This is why I stopped complimenting people on losing weight. And I saw him, I said, oh my God, you look so good. You lost so much weight. And then he just looked at me and he goes, I'm very sad at home. My wife won't talk to me. My child thinks I'm a monster and I'm going through divorce. And I was like, I am so sorry. And as did I stop being like. Whenever I see people now, I'm not like, congratulations on the weight loss.
David Borey
But that's, you know, what's supposed to be. That person sucks.
Langston Kearney
I'm gonna be honest. I don't lose weight when my shit is going down bad like that. If anything, I gain back. I Get fat When I gain weight. If shit's gonna be. You ain't really bad.
David Borey
I put on weight. No, You've never been fat. No, no, no, I've never been fat.
Langston Kearney
Guys, we have to stop this dynamic.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, it's him, it's him, it's him.
Langston Kearney
I didn't even do nothing.
David Borey
Bro.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's him. It's because I'm jealous of him. He's handsome. He grew up with all his money.
Langston Kearney
He has his Netflix special. Okay, now I feel like other stuff that hasn't been mentioned is coming out.
Bob the Drag Queen
His college, his master's degree. I dropped out of college. And you have a master's in poetry. Your specials on Netflix, bro, we had to. You have your children.
David Borey
We had to ask a lot for you to be here.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Langston Kearney
Those are all things you could truly have. You're talking about that stuff. That stuff's all pretty in reach for you.
David Borey
I ain't got no fur hats. All my hat's regular. So, you know, I think we just. I think we all met in the middle of the show.
Bob the Drag Queen
I think you're better than me and I feel like you need to be humbled.
David Borey
Hey, I love Harriet Tubman live in concert. A novel. Bob the Drag Queen Bob. Anything else you want to plug? Anything you want to tell them about you nasty wench?
Bob the Drag Queen
Anything you want to mention? If you guys want to come see me on tour, you can go to seethedradqueen.com I'll be in a town near you. I have to. This is getting Taylor. I know there's a meeting happening. I'm on the podcast. I'm coming now. Okay?
Langston Kearney
Hey, what you say?
Bob the Drag Queen
I know there's a meeting. I'm coming, I'm coming. Bye.
Langston Kearney
Hey, why are you screaming, cuz?
Bob the Drag Queen
This. Because this is over here thinking he better than me. I'll tell you about it in a second.
David Borey
Taylor, you're gonna have to hear my story too. Boy, what you got?
Langston Kearney
This poor, poor Taylor. I just wanted you to know where you went.
David Borey
Making sure you're okay.
Langston Kearney
Those words better than me.
David Borey
And I guarantee you Taylor is a beautiful, light skinned person.
Langston Kearney
That is a light skinned name.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, he's the studio manager.
David Borey
Oh, man. Okay, what you got, man?
Langston Kearney
Cool guy jokes87 on Instagram. I don't have nothing. Watch my don't tell. It just came out as very funny. People have been calling me the voice of a generation.
Bob the Drag Queen
Don't mumble it, say it with confidence.
Langston Kearney
People have been calling me the voice of a generation and I adhere to that.
Bob the Drag Queen
And where can they. You see your don't tell special YouTube.com and what should they Google when they look for it?
Langston Kearney
David Bourrey with a G. Yep.
David Borey
There it is.
Bob the Drag Queen
In Langston. I want to.
Langston Kearney
I have the biggest penis in this room.
David Borey
So he says.
Langston Kearney
Zoe says, have you seen any penis? That's how I go out. That's how I go out on it.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know if you see each
Langston Kearney
other's penises or not. I think I'm too old to be seeing my friends dicks, to be honest.
David Borey
Yeah, that would be hard for I think everybody.
Bob the Drag Queen
I think that you two seeing each other fully nude would actually be very transformative for you, and I think it would actually bring you closer. And I think.
Langston Kearney
I don't think we're far apart.
David Borey
We're as close as you can. No, you would be.
Bob the Drag Queen
I think that if you two saw each other fully nude, it would actually. You would never. You would no longer hesitate when someone says they're your best friends. It would be an immediate.
Langston Kearney
Bob, I don't understand the game you're playing here, but I'm gonna be honest. I don't like it. Yeah.
David Borey
Short of bunk beds, we're good.
Bob the Drag Queen
I saw a video on YouTube of straight guys seeing each other nude for the first time, and it brought them all closer.
Langston Kearney
That's.
David Borey
That's cool.
Langston Kearney
Our algorithms are so completely different.
David Borey
Yeah. I salute those heroes and the closeness that they found.
Langston Kearney
That's a crazy genre of video.
Bob the Drag Queen
It was moving.
David Borey
Yeah. No, it was moving.
Bob the Drag Queen
Have anyone seen it?
David Borey
No. Oh, no. No. And I think. I think. I think you're a liar and you made it up. No, I think this is all a mastermind. You're playing to trick us.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's real. They got naked and they looked at each other and they hugged.
David Borey
I'm not doing that.
Langston Kearney
We love each other.
David Borey
I hug him anyway.
Bob the Drag Queen
Fully clothed. Okay. I'm glad you're hugging.
David Borey
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm proud of y'. All.
David Borey
You can follow mexicrman on all social media platforms. You can fuck with us on Patreon. As you have already heard, this is one of our last episodes here with this studio with iheartrading Heart. And so follow us on Patreon. We're moving over there, but we're. We'll have a new home soon.
Bob the Drag Queen
Don't.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, we're coming back.
Bob the Drag Queen
Can I come visit you again?
David Borey
Would you come with us?
Bob the Drag Queen
I had so much fun on this podcast. This was one of my favorite podcasts I've done in this beautiful city.
David Borey
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay.
David Borey
That is great.
Bob the Drag Queen
Time.
David Borey
Yeah.
Langston Kearney
You can come back whenever you want.
Bob the Drag Queen
Absolutely. Y' all come over to my place sometime, hang out.
Langston Kearney
Yes.
Bob the Drag Queen
I have a great studio out in Burbank. I would love to have you all over.
Langston Kearney
Yeah, we'll probably carpool, but. Yeah.
David Borey
Yeah.
Langston Kearney
I just got a driver's license, so. I could do it. He could do it. It.
Bob the Drag Queen
Who gonna drive usually?
David Borey
Me.
Langston Kearney
He's probably.
Bob the Drag Queen
Who's a bigger car? Me. Yeah, you. Yeah. You have suv? Yeah, Sedan.
Langston Kearney
I have suv.
Bob the Drag Queen
Suv. I got both. Suv. Oh, everyone can drive. Yeah.
Langston Kearney
Yeah. I'm newer to driving, though.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's fair.
David Borey
He has a nicer car.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, hey.
David Borey
Hey.
Bob the Drag Queen
What you driving?
David Borey
Yeah, go ahead.
Langston Kearney
Watch when he's.
Bob the Drag Queen
You think you better than me, cuz you got a nice car. You.
Langston Kearney
I know what kind of car I have.
Bob the Drag Queen
What kind of car? You're ashamed to say it because it's so nice. You're ashamed to say it.
Langston Kearney
It's not that nice. It is nice, though. It's the nicest car I've ever had.
David Borey
Yep.
Langston Kearney
I have a BMW X3.
Bob the Drag Queen
Hey, hey, look at this one here. It is BMW.
Langston Kearney
Okay, Bob. Okay, Bob. You got us all.
Bob the Drag Queen
You came over here, you got it better than us.
Langston Kearney
You got a song, Bob.
Bob the Drag Queen
Cuz you drove your BMW.
Langston Kearney
You got a song. What year? This nigga's rich. That's a rich ass. Don't listen to him. He won it. He won one of the most popular game shows in history. He comes over here talking like we're crazy. Yeah, I've never even been on Hulu.
David Borey
I'm so happy he broke you.
Langston Kearney
Bye. Trust me, Daddy.
David Borey
My Mama Told Me is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Now
Langston Kearney
Network and iHeart Podcast, created and hosted by Langston Kearney.
David Borey
Co hosted by David Borey, executive produced
Langston Kearney
by Will Ferrell Hansani and Joel Monique, edited and engineered by Justin Come.
David Borey
Music by Nick Chambers.
Langston Kearney
Artwork by Dogon Krieger.
David Borey
You can now watch episodes of My Mama told me on YouTube. Follow at my Mama Told Me and subscribe to our Channel.
Langston Kearney
Channel.
Bob the Drag Queen
This is Jacob Goldstein from what's yous Problem? Business software is expensive. And when you buy software from lots of different companies, it's not only expensive, it gets confusing.
Langston Kearney
Slow to use, hard to integrate.
Bob the Drag Queen
Odoo solves that because all Odoo software is connected on a single affordable platform. Save money without missing out on the free features you need. Odoo has no hidden costs and no limit on features or data. Odoo has over 60 apps available for any needs your business might have. All at no additional charge. Everything from websites to sales to inventory to accounting. All linked and talking to each other. Check out odoo at O D O o dot com. That's O D O o dot com.
Langston Kearney
This is Bethenny Frankel from Just Be with Bethenny Frankel. Most dog food is marketing, not nutrition. That is why Biggie and Small eat just food for dogs. Real 100% human grade food with ingredients I actually recognize. And yes, I do see the difference. Better digestion, healthier skin, more energy, dogs that feel better. My babies, if you've been on the fence about switching, stop overthinking it. What's more important than your furry babies and their health? Go to justfood4dogs.com right now and get 50% off your first box. No code needed. Just try it.
Kel Penn
Hey everyone, it's Kel Penn. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, Hearsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Every episode I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRA radio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Langston Kearney
Honestly, honestly, honestly, no one wants to think about hiv, but there are things that everyone can do to help prevent it. Things like prep.
Bob the Drag Queen
PREP stands for Pre Exposure Prophylaxis and
Langston Kearney
it means routinely taking prescription medicine before you're exposed to HIV to help reduce
Bob the Drag Queen
your chances of getting it. Prep can be about 99% effective when taken as prescribed.
Langston Kearney
It doesn't protect against other STIs, though, so be sure to use condoms and
Bob the Drag Queen
other health sex practices. Ask a healthcare provider about all your
Langston Kearney
prevention Options and visit findoutaboutprep.com to learn more. Sponsored by Gilead, this is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human.
In this episode, comedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie are joined by the iconic Bob the Drag Queen for a no-holds-barred, hilarious, and chaos-filled exploration of Black conspiracy theories—focusing primarily on a listener-submitted question: "Does brushing your teeth make you gay?" The trio dives deep into topics spanning Blackness, masculinity, sexuality taboos, family dynamics, pop culture debates, and the power of making fun as a defense mechanism.
On Bob's home burning down:
On the Steve Harvey flag:
On internalized masculinity:
On cultural identity:
On the listener’s conspiracy:
The conversation is rapid-fire, cutting, and irreverently honest, blending quick-witted insult comedy with moments of vulnerability, Black cultural nuance, and queer perspectives. Bob the Drag Queen brings energetic storytelling and playful competitiveness, always shifting from self-deprecation to flamboyant self-assurance. The hosts meet him with sharp humor and earnestness, making space both for belly laughs and real talk.
This episode is a whirlwind ride through the absurdity of conspiracy theories, the reality of Black and queer experience, and the peculiarities of masculinity as expressed through pop culture, family, and personal hygiene. With Bob the Drag Queen, the show never lingers in discomfort—every taboo is a setup for a joke, a truth, or both.
Highly recommended for listeners who love smart, chaotic comedy and aren’t afraid to get a little vulnerable between the roasts.