Human DNA in Hotdogs: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode (RE-RELEASE)

Summary

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My Momma Told Me: "Human DNA in Hotdogs"

Motherf*ckin Mini Episode (RE-RELEASE)
Podcast by Big Money Players Network & iHeartPodcasts
Hosts: Langston Kerman & David Gborie
Date: January 22, 2026

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Episode Overview

Langston Kerman and David Gborie dive into a particularly unsettling listener conspiracy: is there really human DNA in hot dogs (and McDonald’s breakfast)? Blending irreverent humor, personal anecdotes, and candid exploration, the hosts use this "mini episode" to break down the origins of the rumor, evaluate the science and cultural context, and reflect on processed food and the realities of what we eat. The result: a hilariously unfiltered, sometimes gross, and unexpectedly insightful discussion about food, conspiracy, and why we keep coming back for those McDonald’s hash browns.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sex-Rap, Ja Rule, and Black Music Lore

[02:33–08:14]

• The show opens with rapid-fire banter about raunchy hip-hop, nostalgia for Ja Rule’s era, and how musical narratives change (“I much more enjoy the Meg the Stallion interpretation versus the Ja Rule.” – Langston, 05:11).
• Ja Rule’s transition from hardcore to love songs is explored:
  • “He came out as like, almost DMX...and then immediately flipped it, and we were just like, nah, that’s just a killer who likes to find love.” – Langston, [06:33]

2. Celebrity Conspiracies & The Power of Money in Exposing Scandals

[08:34–13:12]

• Langston wonders: do powerful figures only get "taken down" after crossing business lines, not moral ones?
• Notable quote:
  • “Diddy is in trouble...not just because of sexual situations...what he’s really in trouble for is fucking up that Ciroc deal...he’s ruffling the feathers of people that can really fuck up your life.” – Langston, [09:53]
• The hosts draw parallels to other celebs (Drake, Kendrick) and hint at record label machinations controlling music beefs.
• Brief tangent about comedian Earthquake’s literacy, leading into a joke on how online rumors become “Black people fodder.”

3. Voicemail: Human DNA in Hot Dogs—Urban Myth or Real Risk?

[18:06–24:06]

• The show’s main event: a listener asks if hot dogs (and even McDonald’s breakfast) really contain human DNA.
• Langston and David immediately identify with “Black people fodder”—those rumors passed around, half-conspiracy, half-joke:
  • “I don’t know if this is a conspiracy or black people fodder. It’s just such a funny alternative...” – Langston, [19:23]
• The hosts riff on McDonald’s menu faves, with David admitting all he cares about is breakfast and “hash browns two at a time.”
• A brief nostalgia trip on regional burger items (Big and Tasty).

4. Science, Processing, and Perspective: What’s Really in Hot Dogs?

[24:06–33:39]

• Langston shares a story from his neurologist uncle, who’s personally studied hot dog particles under a microscope:
  • “You can like, very clearly see bone in there. You can very clearly see hair...all kinds of items...that have absolutely nothing to do with the meat.” – Langston, [24:34]
• The science: Their research finds ~2% of hot dogs test positive for human DNA.
• David: “I feel like that just comes with processing.” – [26:39]
• Langston: “2% is like what RFK got...that’s a lot. That is a lot.” – [27:01]
• The hosts debate whether the DNA is from actual human remains, accidental contamination (cuts, saliva), or just bad manufacturing practices.
• Conversation pivots to how, in industrial food production, a little contamination is inevitable:
  • “If you think for a second there’s not boo boo batter in your Fruit Loops, you’re wrong.” – Langston, [31:26]
• David: “Of all the reasons to not eat hot dogs, human DNA being present is not even top five for me, bro.” – [33:01]

5. Should You Even Care? Processed Food Realities & Resigned Humor

[33:39–35:53]

• Both hosts admit that the grossness doesn’t stop them from enjoying processed food in moderation:
  • “I think it’s horrible...that we live in a system that would poison us so actively...But it is a fact, and there’s no debate about it.” – Langston, [33:39]
• “You walk into that McDonald’s or crack open that pack of ballparks, you knew what this was.” – David, [32:24]
• Quick reassurance for the voicemail caller: “Get you a hash brown, baby girl. You deserve it.” – Langston, [34:12]
• Surreal tangent: the Ronald McDonald House’s real purpose is clarified (“No part of you goes, well, maybe that’s where they’re getting them kids?” – Langston, [35:48]), David jokes that Langston’s gone full cynic.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On celebrity conspiracies:
  • "He says no. And suddenly we are awash with Diddy as the...serial rapist we’ve known he’s been for forever, but now everything is...we’re willing to tell the public...what this is." – Langston, [10:51]
• On food processing inevitability:
  • “Man, meat processing has never been a clean situation...there’s so much nasty shit in this shit. Are you more worried about the DNA or the nitrates?” – David, [31:05]
• On the futility of worrying:
  • “I know what Chick-Fil-A tastes like. I can’t go back.” – Langston, [32:39]
• Reassurance to the listener:
  • “And how often are you eating hot dogs?...Of all the reasons to not eat hot dogs, human DNA being present is not even top five for me, bro.” – David, [33:01]
  • “Wait till McDonald’s brings back that Big and Tasty.” – Langston, [34:09]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:33 – Mini-episode intro, “sex rap” banter, Ja Rule nostalgia
• 08:34 – Rush Card, Russell Simmons, Diddy/Celeb conspiracies
• 18:06 – Start of listener voicemail: "human DNA in hot dogs"
• 24:06 – Explanation of food science, “2% human DNA” discussion
• 31:26 – Processed food contamination everywhere
• 32:24 – Should you care? Processed food’s inevitability
• 34:09 – Closing advice, ironic resignation, Ronald McDonald House tangent

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Tone & Style

• Irreverent, honest, and relentlessly funny—Langston and David riff with the casualness of barbershop debate but layer in thoughtful skepticism and resignation about social and commercial realities.
• The “Black people fodder” phrase captures how rumors and conspiracies circulate in the Black community—sometimes as warnings, sometimes as dark jokes, sometimes as a strange kind of wisdom.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

Expect to hear a hilarious, sometimes gross, unvarnished reflection on processed food conspiracies and the social currents—online and off—that make jokes about “human DNA in hot dogs” both funny and (disturbingly) plausible. Rather than scare you straight, Langston and David acknowledge: we all know our food is nasty, but the real crime is how little is done to make it better. Their advice—enjoy your hash browns if you must, but remember: if you eat processed food, “you knew what this was.”

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Podcast Host]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[David Bory]

Motherfucking mini episode. Mini episode. Motherfucking mini mini episode.

[Langston Kerman]

Put it in my mouth. She said put it in her mouth. In her motherfucking mouth. There it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a phenomenal episode of my mama told me the.

[David Bory]

Podcast, where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we.

[Langston Kerman]

Finally work to prove the little bullshit you have been thinking about at. It's a motherfucking mini episode.

[David Bory]

You wanna know something crazy? I don't know any of the lyrics to put it in your mouth besides the chorus.

[Langston Kerman]

Mm.

[David Bory]

The Akanelli song. Right.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, of course.

[David Bory]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I don't know what else it would be.

[Voicemail Caller]

I don't know.

[Netflix Series Promoter]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Beyonce didn't cover it. It's just him and Kia Jeffries. Of course Kia Jeffries is.

[David Bory]

She's the one singing pita put in your mouth.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Great song, but no, I. I don't. I don't know the words either. I just.

[David Bory]

No, you just don't put it in.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bory]

And then a guy says something gruff.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Yeah, he's pissed.

[David Bory]

Do you. I. I feel like I've kind of gotten to a point where there's. There's not like, a ton of sex rap songs I love listening to anymore.

[Langston Kerman]

Mm.

[Voicemail Caller]

Mm.

[David Bory]

Like, when it's just straight up, like, thug lovin type shit. You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

Like, I don't like that shit.

[David Bory]

No, it's just, like a bad. It's. Cause it's like, why you always. It always feels like, why am I here?

[Langston Kerman]

It also feels like a silly thing to be listening to men who I know objectively have a complicated relationship with sex and sexuality. You know what I mean? Like, the way you treat women and have to in some regard, given the life that you've chosen in the world you live in, doesn't lead to any of the promises of, like, kindness that. That I would hope you're associating with sex.

[David Bory]

No, truly, truly. Like, you just like, in, like, some of them are good. Like, what's that? That studio song by schoolboy Q. I can listen to that. That's like, good, but sometimes. What's that? What these bitches want from a nigga. It's like, what. What is this? I rather listen to a woman sing about sex.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, no, that's fair.

[David Bory]

Call me crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

No, you're right. I much more enjoy the Meg the Stallion interpretation versus the Ja rule.

[David Bory]

Okay, well, there is. That's. I do like those songs.

[Langston Kerman]

I remember feeling that way in era. I'm saying that, like, in present day. I don't want that energy.

[David Bory]

I'll still listen to, like, me and you. Don't let the word get out, baby.

[Langston Kerman]

This is strictly between me and you, baby.

[David Bory]

That's just good. That's just good.

[Langston Kerman]

Also, I'm real.

[David Bory]

Ja Rule had hits for the ladies.

[Langston Kerman]

Really? I think we talked about this before. Ja Rule really had a run. He really had a run. And I know he's a joke to a lot of you now, but I think we really are forgetting how much he was number one in hip hop for a solid couple years.

[David Bory]

And I was the right age. I was in, like, junior high school. That shit was great, bro. That shit hit that I'm Real video. Ooh. Just in the house wishing I had a girlfriend.

[Langston Kerman]

And.

[David Bory]

Yeah, man, that's just good.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what's crazy is Ja Rule also played it so perfectly because he came out as, like, a almost dmx, you know what I mean? Like, he was a murderer. We were scared of him in that video, Vici. We were like, yo, Ja Rule is the realest nigger that ever was a nigga in history. And then immediately flipped it, and we were just like, nah, that's just a killer who likes to find love.

[David Bory]

He's not always there when you call, but he's always on time. And by the way, I like those records from him better than the on Vidi. Vidi, Vici.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, of course.

[David Bory]

Yeah. Because even when he first came out, that Can I get a verse? Was like. I remember sometimes listening to verses as a kid, and I was like, I think this is too hard for me. Like, you ever heard the. Can I get a verse? Like, unedited, feel slutty, even if they all want it. Like, I don't. I don't want to make them feel.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Now that whole verse is him being like, bitch, give it to me.

[David Bory]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bory]

And then he says, I still fucked you.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. God damn.

[David Bory]

I don't know if that's what this song is about.

[Langston Kerman]

Nah, man.

[David Bory]

I like it when Emil says, put. She go put a pussy on my mustache. That's the point.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. This was more about women empowerment, honestly. And then you. You kind of made it. You were like, I don't care if you empowered, bitch. I still got some. Yeah, well, nasty, Nasty Gaja Rule. But anyways, we thank him for his service. He did a lot of good. Yeah.

[David Bory]

Buy Rule Coin.

[Langston Kerman]

Is there a Rule Coin?

[David Bory]

I assume that's something he's got going on.

[Langston Kerman]

Go ahead and invest in Ruocoin. We certainly will. We hope and pray that Rule Coin will reach out to be a sponsor on the podcast if it should exist.

[David Bory]

Man, I'm sad we missed Rush card.

[Langston Kerman]

Fuck, yeah.

[David Bory]

That was a whole. It had to be A scam. The commercials were so cheap.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, yeah. I think there's many, many articles about.

[David Bory]

Oh, it was as bad as. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

About the sort of weird. Whatever it is. Like the. What is it? The predatory bullshit that happened with Rush cards. I don't remember specifically. I think probably because a lot of it got flooded by his sexual assault history, his rich history of sexual assault. That said, I do think Rush carts also had problems.

[David Bory]

Yeah, that makes sense. It was based on, like, do you like Def Jam? You'll love this credit card.

[Langston Kerman]

But here's. And this is where I turn into a nasty little conspiracy boy, is. I wonder what Russell Simmons did to make people finally start telling us the truth about him.

[David Bory]

What do you mean?

[Langston Kerman]

I mean that. And I don't think that this is even, like, speculative at this point. I think this is sort of proven, is that Diddy is in trouble, obviously, because of hundreds and hundreds of sexual situations that at least. At the very least, were inappropriate in their nature.

[David Bory]

Right.

[Langston Kerman]

Sexually. That said, what he's really in trouble for is fucking up that Ciroc deal that, like, he rubbed. He rubbed the wrong folks the wrong way. They wanted him to, I think, to take Serac in some direction or make it public. I can't remember the specifics of it, but it was something where, like, large monies were going to be exchanged on a deal relating to Diddy's liquor company, specifically the parent company of Ciroc, which he does not own. He just sort of was the face of for a really long time. And Diddy refused that deal. He basically was like, I'm not doing whatever the fuck you want me to do. And it's such a large parent company that, like, he's. He's ruffling the feathers of people that can really fuck up your life.

[Voicemail Caller]

Okay.

[David Bory]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

He. He says no. And suddenly we are awash with Diddy as like, the woman beater, the sec, The. The. The serial rapist that we've. We've known he's been for forever, but now everything is. Is okay. We're bringing it to light. We're willing to tell the public about what this is.

[David Bory]

I heard that's what happened with Drake. I hate to keep bringing him up, but I heard that that. That had a lot to do with. It was like. Cause there was some. It was like a $400 million deal or something like that, and he was going to go independent, and then all of a sudden it's like. Which I don't fucking know, man. But I do believe money is what gets you caught up because, like, why would he be able to do this for years with impunity? And then all of a sudden. Right.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. And I believe it for Drake, too. I think that's probably why he's so adamant about suing Universal Music Group is not because. Just because of the song making fun of him and being sort of, like, as big as it is, but because he knew, like, there were other conversations that happened where I tried to. I didn't even want y' all to be my fucking record company in the first place. And then you keep me in this deal, but in keeping me in the deal, you bump up fucking Kendrick shit and bury my career. Like, which.

[David Bory]

The difficult part in all of that, too, is, like, the idea of thinking of Kendrick as a pawn in that, as opposed to it being like, it's fun. When it feels like it's just like, nah, he just hates this dude, which he does. But then to think that, like, there may be greater businesses at play than it. Then you're like, did he play? Like, I don't know. It just played. But is he, like, a pawn of some sort?

[Langston Kerman]

No. It feels sinister when it stops feeling like we're in control of it. That, like, truly, even music things that we all just agree are universal pleasures are, like, somehow manipulated by a higher power. It's pretty terrifying.

[David Bory]

Yeah. Because it's like. Then you watch because you see the stakes. Right? Like, I don't think Kendrick was going to get a Super bowl before.

[Langston Kerman]

No. Yeah. Cat Williams wasn't going to get that live. You know what I mean? That live Netflix special. Until he had the year that he had blowing everything up with Shannon Sharpe.

[David Bory]

Yeah. Which I don't know. We don't need to talk about that. I know. It was crazy. I think Earthquake can read.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, you think Earthquake can read?

[David Bory]

Yes, I think Earthquake can read.

[Netflix Series Promoter]

Okay.

[David Bory]

You don't think. I just watched a very funny sketch with you and him. You don't think he can read?

[Langston Kerman]

I'm not saying I didn't take the negative or the positive. I've just never heard anyone step up on his behalf, and I think I'm excited to hear it.

[David Bory]

Oh, yeah. I like him.

[Langston Kerman]

I like him a lot, too. I've only been a fan my whole life and then had the pleasure of meeting the man. And he was nice. It was cool. He was very funny, as he always is, and so talented. We didn't have a script for that sketch, so I don't know. When we weren't filming, he sat in a chair and fell asleep. He wasn't proven himself one way or the other, so I have no evidence, but I hope so. All right.

[David Bory]

Yeah, I mean, this is neither here nor there. All right.

[Langston Kerman]

We got a voicemail if you want to do that. You don't want to keep talking about earthquake.

[David Bory]

Yeah, leave earthquake alone since you're so.

[Langston Kerman]

Scared of real talk.

[David Bory]

Whoa. Don't do that to me. We could do 40 minutes on earthquake if we have to.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, we. We got a voicemail. But before we do the voicemail, let's take a break. We're going to do a quick break and then we're going to come back with with more. David More. Langston more. My Mama told me it's my fucking mini episode.

[Chelsea Handler]

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[Langston Kerman]

You raggedy.

[David Bory]

We're back. Hell yeah, we're back. You raggedy. We have a voicemail sent from one of you. We're very excited. Also. Keep the voicemails coming.

[Langston Kerman]

Keep them coming. We really love them a lot. Keep them under a minute if you can, because currently we don't have that technology. But we're hoping to change that. And more importantly, you ain't got to talk that long. Get to the fucking.

[David Bory]

Yep. All right, let's play it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Voicemail Caller]

Oh, hello.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, hello to you.

[Voicemail Caller]

I am.

[Langston Kerman]

Why did you start like that?

[David Bory]

I don't know.

[Voicemail Caller]

And I saw something that said that there was human DNA found in our hot dogs. And is that a conspiracy or is that a real thing?

[Langston Kerman]

I would say yes.

[Voicemail Caller]

And then I heard a conspiracy. Or I guess this is black people fodder. I don't know, but they were talking about.

[Langston Kerman]

Can we pause it for one second? Black people fodder is so funny.

[David Bory]

It's also the majority of my Instagram feed.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I don't know if this is a conspiracy or black people fodder. It's just such a funny alternative to.

[David Bory]

Maybe it's just niggas talking.

[Langston Kerman]

Maybe it's just black people foddering. Okay, we can keep playing.

[Voicemail Caller]

It has human DNA in it. Basically, their breakfast has human DNA in it. Or it's like kids or something. I don't know. I'm trying to stop eating McDonald's, but I cannot Stay away from that hash brown in the morning. But anyway, this is about human DNA and hot dogs. Have you guys heard this? Could you break it down?

[David Bory]

First of all, lovely email or a lovely voicemail.

[Langston Kerman]

I love that. She was like, I'm hearing a lot that McDonald's might be mixing kids in their food. Anyway, I am addicted to these hash browns. I'm eating them two at a time. I can't help myself.

[David Bory]

I cannot stop. That's also hilarious, though, because I get it. McDonald's. The only thing I think they have going anymore is breakfast.

[Podcast Host]

Mm.

[Langston Kerman]

You don't think that they have. That it's even worth the squeeze anymore outside of breakfast?

[David Bory]

Not really.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa.

[David Bory]

It's so good.

[Langston Kerman]

McDonald's breakfast is great. But I'm. Yeah, I still fuck with McDonald's fries. Too heavy to ever, ever turn on them.

[David Bory]

I'm not turning. All right, that's fair. But I don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, you're being. You're being nasty.

[David Bory]

The breakfast is fire. They got that.

[Langston Kerman]

You're cutting their main thing, right? Breakfast ain't their main thing. It's a great signature, but it isn't their main shit. Their fries and their hash browns are, I would say, a foot above everybody else's.

[David Bory]

All I'm saying is I would take a McGriddle over a McChicken at this point. Whoa. And I just. I might be sick.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm a. I'm a nuggets man.

[David Bory]

Wow. Really?

[Langston Kerman]

I often get the nuggets. If I'm not getting the nuggets, I get a Quarter Pounder deluxe. Wow.

[David Bory]

Oh, okay, Mr. Monopoly.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, man. I. Back in the. Back in the. The late 90s, there was a burger called the Big and Tasty.

[David Bory]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know if y' all had the Big and Tasty. I know it was regional. I'm not sure. Yeah, okay. Denver had the Big and Tasty.

[David Bory]

Now the Big didn't have cheese, Right?

[Langston Kerman]

Did not. But it was, like, their answer to a Whopper. So maybe it did have a. It did have cheese, which you could opt out of the. Obviously. But anyway, the Big and Tasty was their answer to the who. That was my burger for years. I was like, I'm a Big and Tasty man. And then they got rid of the Big and Tasty, and it wasn't until years later that they gave you the Quarter Pounder deluxe option, which, in essence, is the Big and Tasty returned.

[David Bory]

Okay. Because the Quarter Pounder Deluxe, it's like. It's the Quarter Pounder, but with all.

[Langston Kerman]

The stuff on it, it's tomatoes, it's lettuce, it's pickles, it's. It's the whole shebang.

[David Bory]

Right. Cause the Big and tasty, they did have that thick tomato on there.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, Yep.

[David Bory]

See, I was always. I was heavy on the dollar menu. Heavy on the dollar menu. And I mean, you tweak it up, you put a little Mac sauce on a. On a double cheeseburger, it tastes like a Big Mac.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I get that. Yeah.

[David Bory]

For sure.

[Langston Kerman]

It's the same. It's the same meat.

[David Bory]

Yeah. Meat is loose. Meat is a loose. I don't know if we could call it meat.

[Langston Kerman]

It's the same protein compound body.

[David Bory]

But that's not what we're here. We're talking about. First of all, I do want to say. Lovely email or voicemail. Love the etiquette. Right around the time it needed to be. Fun little anecdote, but it didn't go crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

She kept talking, but it got cut off and probably rightfully so. I don't know that there was a lot left that we needed to hear, and I think this was great.

[David Bory]

She was familiar, but not in an inappropriate way.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, the oh, hello, surprise start jarred me. But in retrospect, that's me being judgmental. That has nothing to do with you. It just very much felt like you were reading in a library and then forgot that you had made a phone call and then were like, oh, hello, by the way. And I'm not sure why you would. You would do that if you called us, but that's okay.

[David Bory]

That's all right. Anyways, what do you think about that DNA? I think this has got to be true.

[Langston Kerman]

I have an uncle who is a pretty success. Pretty is reductive. He's a very successful neurologist. He's like a dude brain surgeon. Yeah, Brain guy. He kind of knows. He studies brains and sort of is like one of the premier scientists in the country as it relates to brain. And he once explained to me that part of his lab would make people, like, slicing up a microscopic sort of like, slice of hot dog and put it under a microscope so that they could study all of the different particles that are inside of hot dogs outside of just meat. And he said that. That you can, like, very clearly see bone in there. You can barely very clearly see hair in there. You can very clearly see all kinds of items and plastics and shit. All kinds of crazy items that have absolutely nothing to do with the meat that they claim is in there. They said, that's every single hot dog.

[David Bory]

Is this like Genetic stuff like bone and hair. Is it pig bone in there? We're talking about people like human. You know what I'm saying?

[Langston Kerman]

I think the implication, at least in talking to him was that he was saying it was animal hair, animal bone. But I think what this person that left this lovely voicemail is suggesting is that maybe what is being found in there also is human in its origin.

[David Bory]

Okay, I. Because we talked a little bit off mic about this, I think it makes sense to me. You said you were saying that we are underestimating how much 2% is. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

So let's just clarify that our research found. We looked it up very quickly. Olivia did some quick research as well as Bay, who. And our research found that 2% of all samples of hot dogs basically came back saying that. That there was human DNA inside of them, that there's human DNA in roughly 2% of the hot dogs. And y' all were like, that's like, all right, so that just means a lady touched a hot dog.

[David Bory]

I feel like that just comes with processing.

[Langston Kerman]

I. I think that's an exceptional amount.

[David Bory]

What. Okay. And this is. We don't quite have the research for it, but I would be curious what amount of processed food does not come out with some human DNA, bro, think.

[Langston Kerman]

About it this way. 2% is like what RFK got. Do you know what I mean? It's like a voting.

[David Bory]

That's a lot.

[Langston Kerman]

How many people do you see fully being like, nah, I fuck with rfk.

[David Bory]

That's a lot. That is a lot.

[Langston Kerman]

It's a lot of people. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's not nothing. It's. It's negligible in the grand scheme of, like, winners and losers, but that's not nothing.

[David Bory]

But I mean, I guess then if it becomes. If it becomes a case of how did it get there? Because then that's the question we're answering, right? Because it's clearly been proven. How did it get there? What are we. Are we insinuating that they got a couple bodies in there? Like, what are we saying?

[Langston Kerman]

I think what it's insinuating is that they don't give a fuck.

[David Bory]

I been thought that it's a hot dog. You don't give a fuck. But of course you got 1, 7, 11.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm saying that they don't give a fuck even when they know. Do you. What I'm saying that, like, the way hot dogs are made, we should be clear about this as well, is the literal scraps of what's left behind from other animals. Sort of like massacres, I guess. You're slicing up a big ass bull or cow and you got some pieces laying around and some of those pieces are not usable as like package sense. Like, you can't like put that in a package, show it to somebody and be like, you want to eat this? Because they'd be fucking disgusted. And so they take all those scraps and they grind them all up and then they. They put those, the ground meat, into a casing. And that is a beef hot dog. Right? That's the fucking premise of it. And I'm saying that while somebody is slaughtering an animal, they might cut themselves, they might slice a finger, they might fucking slob. Because. Because they're thinking about big old steaks while they're cutting this cow. I don't know. I don't know what the. What it takes to get to 2%, but I know that whatever falls on that ground that they then sweep up and stuff inside of a hot dog, they're not like checking ahead of time to make sure there's not like a fingy in there.

[David Bory]

Right? That's. I could agree with that. I could agree with that.

[Netflix Series Promoter]

2.

[David Bory]

And this is gonna sound nasty. How much does it matter?

[Langston Kerman]

All right, now you and I are on the same page. Now we can have a mature conversation. Because my uncle showed me. He told me all of this about cutting up this hot dog and what you can find inside of it because he wanted to scare me out of eating hot dogs. That was the intention. He was basically being like, hey, hot dogs are fucked. You should leave these alone. I've seen it. It's disgusting. Disgusting.

[David Bory]

Were you going crazy on hot dogs when that happened?

[Langston Kerman]

Probably. He was like, your boy probably hit his third hot dog. I had no reason to be questioning the quality of the meat. I was in a. I was at.

[David Bory]

A family event, like, yo, you gotta relax.

[Langston Kerman]

Yo, you gotta chill. You're going crazy. You're eating bones, man.

[David Bory]

Did he pull you aside?

[Langston Kerman]

Nah, it was just. It was just in front of everybody, he was like, hey, man, those are. Yeah, you should see what's in hot dogs.

[David Bory]

But also, you're ruining the party.

[Langston Kerman]

But that was my feeling, was I didn't feel none of it. Made me go, I'm not gonna eat hot dogs. I was just like, oh, that's crazy. Well, shit, I hope I don't ever taste the hair.

[David Bory]

Yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

That's all I thought was like, I hope it's so. As long as it stays in small enough pieces, I think I'll eat hair.

[David Bory]

Man, meat processing has never been a clean situation. No, it's better now than it ever has been, I think. But it's not like processing of anything. There's so much nasty shit in this shit. It's like, are you more worried about the DNA or the nitrates?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. If you think for a second there's not boo boo batter in your Fruit Loops, you're wrong. You know what I mean? There just is. We are humans, and humans are vile, vile creatures. And then processing it is already en masse, is already too big of an operation to have true checks and balances in an honest way. And then on top of that, you put corporations in charge of it that are so worried about their bottom line about being able to make profit that they're not interested in wasting time on checks and balances. So, absolutely, there is vile human particles inside of literally everything you eat that is processed in this country. And frankly, even the things that are not processed are very vulnerable to all kinds of contaminations as well. That said, that's the life we got.

[David Bory]

That's where I'm at with it is like, kind of like. And hats off to you if you can go full organic or do whatever, but it's sort of like you walk into that McDonald's or you crack open that pack of ballparks, you knew what this was.

[Langston Kerman]

And I'm too far in it to be able to go and grow a garden. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm. I'm too entrenched. I know what chick fil A tastes like. I can't go back.

[David Bory]

And how often are you eating hot dogs? I think that's the place where you could minimize. But even the reasons to not eat hot dogs. Of all the reasons to not eat hot dogs, human DNA being present is not even top five for me, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

We do pigs in a blanket at the crib about once every two weeks.

[David Bory]

Come on, come on. It's a fun time for everybody.

[Langston Kerman]

We all get to do it together. It's nice.

[David Bory]

Yeah, it's exciting. It's like, so it's like, I feel like this is like. Yeah, it's just. I feel like even. Even if this is anti hot dog propaganda, I think there's a lot more. There's a lot better reasons to. Naughty hot. This is real. And it does sound nasty on paper. In practice, I don't think it's that big a deal. And maybe I'm gross.

[Langston Kerman]

I think it's horrible. I think it's a shame that we live in a system that would poison us so actively and so effectively in literally everything we consume. I think that is truly a shame, and I hate that that is a fact. But it is a fact, and there's no debate about it. And if you pretend otherwise, you're being obtuse. So either grow a garden and eat that way for the rest of always, or grow up and wait till McDonald's brings back that big and tasty.

[David Bory]

Yeah. And get you those hash browns every now and again.

[Langston Kerman]

Get you a hash brown, baby girl. You deserve it.

[David Bory]

You're trying to stay away. I understand. You're doing a good job.

[Langston Kerman]

If it's some little kid products in there, don't even think about that.

[David Bory]

And it's like you just getting a hash brown. That's pretty good. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

It's not bad. There's probably less. Less little kid byproduct in the. In the hash browns than anything.

[David Bory]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

But you don't want to find out where McDonald's gets their potatoes and who had to pick them. You know what I mean?

[David Bory]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Cause that's probably where it's coming from.

[David Bory]

It's all bad. It's all bad. They're not even a food company at this point. They're a real estate company anyways. They don't give a shit about what they're feeding you, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

McDonald's has an orphanage. They really? Yeah.

[David Bory]

Damn.

[Langston Kerman]

I think I'd rather be a wardrobe everything.

[David Bory]

I'd rather be a ward of the state.

[Langston Kerman]

It's actually a gorgeous, gorgeous facility.

[David Bory]

Are you talking about the Ronald McDonald House?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bory]

I don't know why. I always thought that was some kind of a boys and girls club situation. I didn't know they lived there.

[Langston Kerman]

No. Yeah. Ronald McDonald's house, I think, is sort of a. It's not just an orphanage, but it is a sort of, like, place where people can find both foster homes and, like, alternative housing situations. I think it's also for people in domestic violence situations. They can like all kinds of housing options for people in need.

[David Bory]

Okay. So that's kind of. I think that offsets the 2%.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa. No part of you goes, well, maybe that's where they're getting them kids.

[David Bory]

No. And you're a nasty man for bringing it up. You're a cynic and you're upset and you're lashing out.

[Langston Kerman]

Fair enough. Fair enough, man. I don't know.

[David Bory]

I think we did it.

[Langston Kerman]

I think we did it. You want to tell the people where they can find you what cool shit you got going on?

[David Bory]

Cool guy jokes. 87 on Instagram. Patreon.com davidbory Go buy my special. You know, and that's it. You know, just, you know, we're out here. It's a weird time, man. It's a weird time.

[Langston Kerman]

It's a weird time. But you know what makes it even weirder is following me on Instagram and Twitter and TikTok, I guess. I don't know.

[David Bory]

It's back, right?

[Langston Kerman]

It's back. I don't really use it, but we do use the My mama told me TikTok a lot and it's doing great. We hope you all continue to follow there at our TikTok but follow me at Langston Kerman. Like subscribe, you know, send voicemails and shit@844-little moms. You can also email [e-mail] like subscribe, send the emails. Send the voicemails. Rate review. Eat hot dogs. Bye bitch.

[David Bory]

Give your me a good old rub. Motherfuckin mini episode Mini episode Mini episode. Mini episode Mini episode Mini episode.

[Chelsea Handler]

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[Netflix Series Promoter]

This new Netflix series, His and Hers? This new mystery series stars Tessa Thompson as Anna, a journalist in Atlanta, and John Bernthal as Detective Jack Harper. When Anna catches wind of a murder in Dahlonega, the sleepy town where she grew up, she pounces on the case and searches for answers. Detective Jack Harper is strangely suspicious of her involvement, chasing her into the crosshairs of his own investigation. It's a show that reminds you that small towns are often filled with the most secrets and no one is who they seem. Seriously, with every twist, you're left wondering, can you trust anyone in this town? Can Anna and Jack trust each other? Or is one of them hiding something? The closer they get to each other, the closer they get to the truth, and we cannot wait to see how it unfolds. Don't miss the suspense and the drama watch his and hers now only on Netflix.

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[Podcast Host]

Cvs, it matters that we're not just in your community, but that we're part of it. It matters that we're here for you when you need us, day or night, and we want everyone to feel welcomed and rewarded. It matters that CVS is here to fill your prescriptions and here to fill your craving for a tasty and, yeah, healthy snack. At at cvs, we're proud to serve your community because we believe where you get your medicine matters. So Visit [e-mail] or just come by our store. We can't wait to meet you. Store hours vary by location. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.