Kevin Durant's BlackPlanet Page: A Dramatic Brown Eyes Reading (with Shapel Lacey)

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Kevin Durant's BlackPlanet Page: A Dramatic Brown Eyes Reading"

Podcast: My Momma Told Me
Hosts: Langston Kerman, David Gborie
Guest: Chappelle Lacy
Release Date: January 8, 2026
Podcast Description: Comedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie explore Black conspiracy theories—silly, serious, and ones straight from that uncle in jeans at the pool.

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Episode Overview

This episode of My Momma Told Me dives into the nostalgia and curiosity around early 2000s Black online culture, with a listener voicemail prompting a deep-dive into Kevin Durant's infamous BlackPlanet page. The hosts and guest Chappelle Lacy share laughs dissecting KD’s old dating profile, swap internet era stories, and riff on the power (and limits) of online Blackness. The conversation tangents through the meaning and myth of "youngins," BlackPlanet, influencer and lurker culture, hoteps, and memories of growing up around poverty and white rural communities.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Voicemail Kicks Off (01:45)

• Listener shares two thoughts:
  1. Urges the hosts to check out Kevin Durant’s long-standing BlackPlanet page and its “typical” style—“calling himself, like, brown skin, brown eyes, et cetera.”
  2. Mentions plotting to get excommunicated from the Catholic Church, and his idea of creating a “church for hoteps to fight against the MAGA movement.”
• The hosts and Chappelle note the wild swing from KD to excommunication plots.
  • Langston: "This man started by being like, hey, fellas, check out Kevin Durant's Black Planet page...Anyway, I'm trying to get excommunicated from the Catholic Church." (02:41)

Kevin Durant’s BlackPlanet Page (03:12, 05:32)

• Langston finds KD's profile text via screenshots:
  • “All music produced by. It doesn't say my name. My name, Kevin. I'm on distilling looking for youngins to chill with or just be friends. So if you feeling me, get at your boy...I'm 6'10", 205, brown skin, brown eyes, very athletic, and looking for a youngin to chill with. Oh, yeah, all the haters. Thanks for doing you and helping me out.” (05:39)
• Hilarious dissection of the “brown skin, brown eyes” formula:
  • Chappelle: "Never in my fucking life, bro. Never," about describing oneself this way online (03:16).
  • Langston: "But I’m not an NBA champion." (03:20)
• Co-host 1 reflects on the "money pic" with only $50, and how “it’s way cooler” to flex with your real, regular-life cash (06:43).

Everyone’s Internet Coming-of-Age (07:43)

• BlackPlanet vs. MySpace experiences:
  • Langston: “I had one in the way that it was, like, technically there. I did not participate. I was watching. The reason I had one is because I was watching homies do it. Eventually was like, yeah, I'll make one. And then just was scared to touch it.” (07:55)
  • Everyone jokes about being digital lurkers and how that pattern continues on TikTok and Instagram.
• Chappelle: “You know, who are we not if not lurkers?” (08:45)

Digital Lurkers and Algorithms (08:35)

• Discussion of algorithm curation, browsing habits, and the odd intimacy of realizing friends are liking the same weird things online.
  • Langston: “Digital Eskimo brothers is a term I’m working on.” (09:08)
  • Co-host 1: “I get a lot of MILF—well, brother, I was talking about other stuff.” (09:35, 09:39)
• The hosts and Chappelle joke about what’s on their feeds: fights, extreme humanity, “meth addicts’ houses,” and white folks down bad—sharing how these videos evoke home and childhood memories.
  • Chappelle: “My homies house looks just like this, bro. I see that shit. I'm like. I get so excited, bro. I'm like, damn, bro. I remember that motherfucker, bro.” (13:52)

Relatability of Margins and Influencers (11:59)

• The trio muses on why “extreme humanity” videos feel comforting, compared to influencer content.
  • Co-host 1: “Influencers don’t make me feel better...that old guy with the chalk line who's rubbing his hands, that feels like my friend.” (12:11)
  • Langston: “I think we'd laugh about the same things faster than me and that influencer.” (12:30)

Social Nostalgia and White Poverty (13:39, 16:00)

• Extended riffing on what it’s like to see poor white “meth house” content online and memories of not recognizing "white trash" until later in life.
  • Co-host 1: “It seems like a rich person thing if you don't know...You have so many cars, you just have ones that are broken that you're gonna fix.” (16:28)
  • Hosts reflect on how environment—and immigrant upbringing—shapes one’s understanding of class and social markers.

“Church of Hoteps” to Fight MAGA? (17:17)

• The team finally addresses the caller's other “conspiracy”—mustering hoteps to battle MAGA.
  • They gently roast the concept; warfare isn’t “jacked dudes vs. jacked dudes” anymore (17:43, 18:06).
  • Langston: "The Anunnaki is going to win this round. Go ahead and let that one go, my man." (18:14)
  • They clarify the differences between hoteps and the Hebrew Israelites, who do post paramilitary training videos.

“Being Outnumbered” and the Confines of Real-World Blackness (20:35)

• Chappelle’s story about being the only Black person at a rural, Confederate-flag trailer park party in Virginia:
  • “I walk in. Obviously, I'm the only black person there for miles. For miles, bro...They have the fattest Confederate flag just hanging.” (21:30)
  • His survival instinct: “All I did was I sat at a table. I didn't move. I just sat there the whole night...I'm not drinking. That's the last thing you want to do.” (22:14)
  • A Southern white attendee’s awkwardly delivered apology referenced.
  • Langston: "To be completely surrounded is a...another thing. I think a lot of people don't know what that feeling is like." (23:47)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On KD’s Page:
  Langston Kerman (05:39): “My name, Kevin. I'm on distilling looking for youngins to chill with or just be friends. So if you feeling me, get at your boy...I'm 6102 05, brown skin, brown eyes, very athletic, and looking for a youngin to chill with. Oh, yeah, all the haters. Thanks for doing you and helping me out.”

• On flexing with little cash:
  Co-host 1 (06:44): “I used to always respect people who are willing to take the money pic with not a lot of money...I never had the confidence to do. To just have eight bucks, you know what I'm saying?”

• On the concept of 'Cathleticism':
  Chappelle Lacy (04:54): “We be fucking with cathleticism.”
  Langston Kerman (05:17): “According to scripture, it came from the devil. What you're doing is of the devil, but that's that fun devil that they don't always talk about. The devil can be fun, and that's an example of it.”

• On algorithm oddities:
  Langston Kerman (09:08): “Digital Eskimo brothers is a term I’m working on.”

• On “extreme humanity” v. influencers:
  Co-host 1 (12:11): “Influencers bore the fuck out of me...that old guy with the chalk line who's rubbing his hands, that feels like my friend.”

• On rural party isolation:
  Chappelle Lacy (21:30): “I walk in. Obviously, I'm the only black person there for miles. For miles, bro. And they have the fattest Confederate flag just hanging.”

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Segment Timestamps

• [01:45] – Voicemail: Suggesting KD’s BlackPlanet page and “church of hoteps”
• [05:32] – Langston reads KD’s BlackPlanet profile
• [07:43] – BlackPlanet/MySpace nostalgia and the art of lurking
• [09:08] – “Digital Eskimo brothers” and algorithm confessions
• [13:39] – Meth addict content and extreme humanity
• [17:17] – Riffing on “church of hoteps” fighting MAGA and Hebrew Israelites
• [20:35] – Chappelle’s Virginia trailer park party horror story

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Tone and Conclusion

The tone is loose, irreverent, and full of the hosts’ signature playful-black-millennial camaraderie. They toggle between roasting BlackPlanet era thirstiness, poking fun at internet tropes, and sharing raw, honest stories about Blackness in all its environments. In true My Momma Told Me fashion, ridiculous voicemails prompt insightful conversation about everything from algorithm psychology to the emotional safety calculus of being Black in rural white America.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

Expect genuine nostalgia for proto-social media days, hilarious and warm ribbing, and illuminating commentary on how the internet multiplies both connection and absurdity in Black life. While classics like KD’s BlackPlanet page make for a fun surface topic, the magic is in the tangents—where jokes reveal as much about community, memory, and survival as they do about timeline trends.

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Tip: Skip to [05:32] for KD’s BlackPlanet profile reading, [13:39] for discussions of “meth mansion” content, and [20:35] for the harrowing trailer park party tale.

Transcript

[Podcast Announcer]

This is an I heart podcast.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Guaranteed human.

[Podcast Announcer]

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[Co-host 1]

Mini Episode. Mini episode. Mini episode.

[Langston Kerman]

Could be a crackhead. They got hold to the wrong stuff.

[Co-host 1]

But you're onto the right stuff here at My Mama Told Me podcast featuring Chappelle Lacy.

[Langston Kerman]

How's it going?

[Chappelle Lacy]

How's it going?

[Langston Kerman]

I really made up for your fumbles earlier on the keys.

[Co-host 1]

Maybe you didn't need to bring it up. That would have been cool. You know what I mean? We just let that die.

[Langston Kerman]

Nope. Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

Great.

[Langston Kerman]

I need you to know you messed up.

[Co-host 1]

I felt it. I'm gonna be in the house replaying it. We have a voicemail.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, let's play it.

[Voicemail Caller]

I'm definitely not calling out on the nasty shit. I think you all really need to review that message.

[Langston Kerman]

We do.

[Voicemail Caller]

Anyway, I got a couple of things. Say, I'll say it quickly. For one, I heard you all talking about Black Planet. I think you should definitely check out, if you can still find it, Kevin Durant's Black Planet page.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[Voicemail Caller]

That he had up way too long. I think he had it up until he was even at, like, Texas Tech or Texas. Wherever he went. And it's the typical Black Planet shit. Calling himself, like, brown skin, brown eyes, et cetera, et cetera. That's just hilarious. Definitely gotta check that out. My other thing is, one of the things I'm trying to do is get excommunicated from the Catholic Church for my story, but.

[Co-host 1]

It'S about to be nuts. Yeah, right.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Wait, what was the. What was it. What was the second thing?

[Co-host 1]

He said? He's trying to Get. He said one. He said, oh, who is Kevin?

[Chappelle Lacy]

Or that. This man.

[Langston Kerman]

No, this man started by being like, hey, fellas, check out Kevin Durant's Black Planet page. It's very fun. You'll enjoy it. Anyway, I'm trying to get excommunicated from the Catholic Church.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Well, he's talking to the wrong people.

[Co-host 1]

He also said one of the things I'm trying to do.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Which he's got a busy. What are the other things? Yeah, yeah. What are the other things?

[Langston Kerman]

He's got a lot going on also.

[Chappelle Lacy]

It's Texas longhorns, bro.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chappelle Lacy]

He went to Utah.

[Co-host 1]

Also hilarious that Kevin Durant had a black planet.

[Langston Kerman]

He did have a black planet.

[Co-host 1]

Have you ever described yourself as brown eyes on the Internet? Any of you guys?

[Chappelle Lacy]

Never in my fucking life, bro. Never.

[Co-host 1]

What?

[Langston Kerman]

But. But I'm not. I'm not a champion. I'm not an NBA champion.

[Co-host 1]

That's true.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean?

[Co-host 1]

That might be part of not having.

[Langston Kerman]

The dog, I think. We just ain't got that dog.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah, we ain't got that dog in us. You got to have a dog in you.

[Co-host 1]

That's.

[Langston Kerman]

That's why he's got an MVP trophy. And we have to assemble together to get people to look over here.

[Co-host 1]

That's fair. All right, continue.

[Chappelle Lacy]

I hope to get the brown eyes one day. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey, let's. Let's hear this crazy person. Now.

[Voicemail Caller]

My friend and I years ago talked about starting a church for hotels. And, like, I'm not a hotel, obviously, I don't believe in hotepuri.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[Voicemail Caller]

But they are jacked, and I think I could get one. They're jacked, they're dedicated. They always seem to have money from the oil sales and drug dealing. So I want to get a church together of hotels, and it's. Bring them against the MAGA movement and save the country, and then also get excommunicated from the church. I know that will make me a villain as a black man. Leading host heps to does not believe in it. But I really think I can make a difference and help save the world. So I'm curious to see what you all think about that. And again, please check out Kevin Durant's Black Planet page.

[Langston Kerman]

And again, I got to plug Kevin Durant.

[Co-host 1]

There's so much to unpack.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah, I never met a black Catholic before, ever. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, they're out there.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Will you be doing that?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it's not really.

[Co-host 1]

And I guess I don't think. I. I don't really know, man. I Never even thought about that, but I guess not.

[Chappelle Lacy]

We be fucking with cathleticism.

[Co-host 1]

Cathleticism is the funniest thing that's happened today on this podcast. Cathleticism is so good.

[Langston Kerman]

You under something there, man.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Y' all don't know who's Catholicism. We Catholics, baby. You know, that's my favorite thing. I've been it since I was a kid. I don't know where it came from.

[Langston Kerman]

According to scripture, it came from the devil. What you're doing is of the devil, but that's that fun devil that they don't always talk about. The devil can be fun, and that's an example of it.

[Co-host 1]

I like that. I do have a few things I think about what this man is saying.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, before we get to that, let me say I did find Kevin Durant's dating profile from Black Planet.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Wait, he still has it?

[Langston Kerman]

It's screenshots now. It's not the actual product, but all music produced by. It doesn't say my name. My name, Kevin. I'm on distilling looking for youngins to chill with or just be friends. So if you feeling me, get at your boy. My aim. Kevin Ball or Kevin Baller, 33. Yeah, that's me getting my dunk on and shit at the bottom. And you see this shirt? Texas Longhorns, baby. Get at your boy. I'm 6102 05, brown skin, brown eyes, very athletic, and looking for a youngin to chill with. Oh, yeah, all the haters. Thanks for doing you and helping me out.

[Co-host 1]

That's exactly what I thought.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah, that's exactly what it was. Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

He's been. He's like.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Everything you were reading, I was like, yeah, that checks out.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

He stuck true to himself this whole.

[Langston Kerman]

Time, and he is holding in his hands. By my calculations, uh, that is $50.

[Co-host 1]

I used to. Can I say this?

[Langston Kerman]

Spread out.

[Co-host 1]

I used to always respect people who are willing to take the money pick with not a lot of money.

[Langston Kerman]

It was pretty cool.

[Co-host 1]

I never had the confidence to do. To just have eight bucks, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, Like, I never had the confidence.

[Langston Kerman]

It's way cooler.

[Co-host 1]

It's way cooler.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah. Five and three ones, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

Like this.

[Co-host 1]

This is where I'm at. For real. Like, yo, I always. I always thought it was cool when people would do it.

[Langston Kerman]

Somebody did a pocket check, and here's. Here's what I'm adding to the table.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah. Shout out to the people who were flexing their real money on real money.

[Langston Kerman]

And I. I will say Maybe that is why I love Kevin Durant so much, is because at the end of the day. Yeah, this is a dude who would.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah, that really does check out, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it just sounds like who he's always been.

[Co-host 1]

No, that was exactly. Exactly what I thought it was going to be.

[Chappelle Lacy]

How old is he right there?

[Co-host 1]

He was a youngin.

[Langston Kerman]

He was a young.

[Co-host 1]

He was. He was a youngin. He was looking for, like, minded youngins.

[Langston Kerman]

You to chill with. Of course.

[Co-host 1]

Youngins is a term I never really used.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Do you guys have a Black Planet page?

[Langston Kerman]

I have one, yeah.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah, one.

[Co-host 1]

I had a lot of friends who. I looked over there. I was still scared to put myself on the Internet at that point.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I had one in the way that it was, like, technically there.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I did not participate. I was watching. The reason I had one is because I was watching homies do it. Yep.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Eventually was like, yeah, I'll make one. And then just was scared to touch it. Yeah.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

I was scared to make the moves necessary, even on MySpace. And then I kind of had a meltdown and pulled off of MySpace.

[Langston Kerman]

It's the reason I won't ever get good at TikTok.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah, it's.

[Langston Kerman]

Cause I just.

[Chappelle Lacy]

TikTok, to me, is scared me, and.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know how to do it.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah, TikTok's a weird one. I never.

[Co-host 1]

That being said, thank you to y'.

[Langston Kerman]

All.

[Co-host 1]

We just passed a million likes.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

On.

[Langston Kerman]

On the TikTok. We're not good at managing, but.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, we're not.

[Chappelle Lacy]

You know, I just. That's one. One app where I just throw it on there and I just leave.

[Co-host 1]

That's. I never.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Like, it's very rare.

[Co-host 1]

That's the way to do it. Very rare.

[Chappelle Lacy]

That. I'll check. I just don't fudge it. I can't Instagram because I. Like, I'd be lurking.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, come on.

[Chappelle Lacy]

You know, who.

[Co-host 1]

Who are we not if not lurkers?

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we have to be.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's what the meeting's about. After the podcast.

[Co-host 1]

I was just telling. I was just telling my lady. It's like, weird when you were lurking and then you see one of your other friends and you know they're there lurking.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chappelle Lacy]

It's almost like.

[Co-host 1]

It's almost like intimate, where it's like, oh, I don't want you to be in here with me.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

Like, how are you in this room with me?

[Langston Kerman]

Digital Eskimo brothers is a term I'm working on.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah. Damn. Okay. Yeah, okay. You're one of the people.

[Co-host 1]

You're one of the people sometimes.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on, man.

[Co-host 1]

Because you're. You're curating your.

[Chappelle Lacy]

You.

[Co-host 1]

You are being real to yourself and curating your algorithm in a way of shit you actually want to see. I am still afraid of myself, and I don't like shit, but I'll see some crazy shit. And then Langston liked it, and I'm.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Like, oh, yeah, bro, I get a lot of milf.

[Co-host 1]

Well, brother, I was talking about other stuff.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, we weren't speaking. I don't like the sexual photos. I noticed them.

[Chappelle Lacy]

I don't either.

[Langston Kerman]

I certainly noticed them.

[Chappelle Lacy]

No, I don't. I don't partake of them, but I don't.

[Co-host 1]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I feel like I let you down. I feel like I let you down. You were, like, sharing, and then we cut you.

[Langston Kerman]

You said, I'm pulling my parachute now. This is where I get off.

[Chappelle Lacy]

You pulled a little too early.

[Co-host 1]

We agreed.

[Langston Kerman]

We agreed because you set it up like, hey, we're gonna wait till we at the bottom. And you were like, no, no, no. Actually, I'm outta here right this second. That was really. That was pretty fucking.

[Chappelle Lacy]

It's skateboarding Mills. Hardcore show. But I love watching mindless stuff sometimes. Yeah, I love. I don't know.

[Co-host 1]

Mine gets really violent.

[Langston Kerman]

Mine is.

[Chappelle Lacy]

I watch a lot of fights.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Chappelle Lacy]

But I've been watching fights, like, since YouTube, like, first came out.

[Co-host 1]

Since before. Since comegetysome.com. you remember that? Comegetsome.com.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah, bro. I love watching that shit.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm. Less fights and more sort of like the exotics of human beings.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, I'm getting that. Freaks.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah, I get a lot of that.

[Langston Kerman]

I get a lot of that.

[Co-host 1]

A lot more. A lot more. People who are smaller than maybe I'd like.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Co-host 1]

Like, in a way where it's like, the problem is me.

[Chappelle Lacy]

People. People that you're like, how'd your arm get like that? Yeah. You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

And it's not always graphic. It just is. Like, you. You are an anomaly in and of itself. And the fact that you're video typing yourself is kind of a miracle that we're bumping into it.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah. A lot of weird braids. A lot of weird braids.

[Langston Kerman]

The way you talk, it scares me.

[Chappelle Lacy]

But also, like, a lot of old.

[Co-host 1]

Dudes trying to get pussy, too. A lot of videos of old guys trying to get pussy.

[Langston Kerman]

That's cool.

[Podcast Announcer]

Also.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Also, like, think about it like this. Like, we all knew people like that in our neighborhoods. It's just that now that, like, people, other people are seeing them on the Internet, you're like, whoa, we all gathering in on this. We know a guy like that. You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

That's why I like it. There were people that I remember that, like, have now stopped existing for me. And were I to tap in with them, I wouldn't be able to do it with an ironic distance. I would have to, like, be caring about them and, like, sort of checking in on their, like, personhood.

[Co-host 1]

Right.

[Langston Kerman]

But from this ironic distance. Motherfuckers that I grew up with are so funny.

[Co-host 1]

I also.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Bro.

[Co-host 1]

I also find. I also find a comfort in those extreme of humanities, extremes of humanity that I don't find. Influencers don't make me feel better. I don't see. I don't see an influencer.

[Chappelle Lacy]

They bore me.

[Co-host 1]

If they bore me, they bore the fuck out of me. I don't want to like them. I don't see an influence and feel like influencer. And see, like, that's my friend, as weird as it is, that old guy with the chalk line who's rubbing his hands, that feels like. That feels like my friend.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah, I see that person with that guy.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I think we'd laugh about the same things faster than me and that influencer.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, influencers.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Thousand percent influencers are like.

[Co-host 1]

It's like, I see influencers. It's crazy to me that it works.

[Chappelle Lacy]

So then, would you have been friends with KD back in the day if you saw that?

[Co-host 1]

Probably not. That was pretty. For that time period, that was pretty standard. Nothing about that was extreme.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Extreme.

[Co-host 1]

You know what I mean? That was a pretty standard young.

[Langston Kerman]

Most of my friends.

[Chappelle Lacy]

You got $50.

[Langston Kerman]

Most of my friends who had a Black Planet had that.

[Co-host 1]

That's what I'm saying. Literally.

[Langston Kerman]

My boy Howard was the one that got me onto it. He was 6, 9. His black planet read exactly like that.

[Co-host 1]

Like, that's what I mean.

[Chappelle Lacy]

He wasn't. Yeah, that's meant for that.

[Langston Kerman]

He wasn't doing.

[Co-host 1]

And I think, by the way, the Black Planet, MySpace era, that's why I didn't connect to it as much, because you couldn't see where I remember being on MySpace and My. A bunch of my homies were all in the house on his mom's computer, and they're just typing in our zip code and to find females in the area. And that's how social media worked. So for me at the time, who was not pussy. It wasn't like. Yeah, it wasn't the idea of what social media could be wasn't that attractive to me.

[Chappelle Lacy]

The videos that I'm, like, attracted to that, like, mindless that I'll watch all day. And it's mainly just because where I grew up is when I see, like, meth addicts, bro.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, brother.

[Chappelle Lacy]

When you see their houses and shit.

[Co-host 1]

I go, bro, I got a lot.

[Chappelle Lacy]

My homies house looks just like this, bro. I see that shit. I'm like. I get so excited, bro. I'm like, damn, bro. I remember that motherfucker, bro. I wonder how you do it.

[Langston Kerman]

In six months, we're going to see a HBO Max show called Meth Mansion with Chappelle Lacey.

[Co-host 1]

No, I got a lot of.

[Chappelle Lacy]

I love watching those motherfuckers.

[Co-host 1]

I got a lot of white people down bad in my feet as well.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah, bro.

[Co-host 1]

I mean, like, weird white couples. Like, the hat flipper guy's got a girlfriend now. You know what I'm talking about?

[Chappelle Lacy]

Arizona's like, a lot of, like. There's a lot of. There's a ton of meth out there.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, Colorado, too, my man.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I grew up in an area in Arizona where it's like, you know, like, it was just poor. It wasn't like. It wasn't like, a crazy neighborhood. It was just. Everyone was just, like, poor, as you know what I mean? So, like, it's just funny to see, like, that, like, hit the Internet, because I'm like, damn, I like that shit, man.

[Langston Kerman]

I've seen this my whole life.

[Chappelle Lacy]

I've seen this my whole life. I'm like, I know those, and I still talk to those people sometimes.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, you can't.

[Langston Kerman]

But it's not funny to go into their house and be like, look how y' all live.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah. No, no.

[Co-host 1]

It's sad.

[Langston Kerman]

That'd be crazy.

[Chappelle Lacy]

You know what I'm saying? It's exciting to me. Cause I'm like, I'm home.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

You know what I was thinking of? I saw a girl from my hometown with Langston, and he made a joke about it, and I didn't even feel bad. When we were in D.C. remember, I saw my friend who went to high school with.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, yeah.

[Co-host 1]

And she was like. I was like, how's so and so. And then we just caught up on, like, five or six people. And, like, Langston was like, yeah, damn. Little Joey just fell in the well, huh?

[Langston Kerman]

It was a list of bummer after bummer after bummer.

[Chappelle Lacy]

A lot of people living in motels.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

I was thinking about the side of The Internet makes me think about that stuff, bro.

[Chappelle Lacy]

I used to spend the night at their houses.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, well, you know what's interesting? And this is not about the thing at all, if you didn't. Like, my mom wasn't. We didn't grow up. Moved to a small town till I got to high school. My mom is an immigrant, so she kept a lot of immigrant friends and people who were amenable to that.

[Chappelle Lacy]

You.

[Co-host 1]

I didn't even. You don't know what white trash is.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

So when confronted with it, I didn't, like, I didn't. I just thought that this was like another.

[Chappelle Lacy]

You don't even know what it is. You don't even think of it like that. Like. No, it's just, like.

[Co-host 1]

It's just, like, reasonable. You're like, oh, I guess these people have cars in their yard.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Co-host 1]

You don't even think about it. Cause, like, bro, why are they always.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Working on a car? I don't.

[Co-host 1]

How do they all learn to work on cars? I don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

I think most of them actually don't know how to work on cars, which is why.

[Co-host 1]

Not as well as they would say.

[Langston Kerman]

Which is why it's still in your lawn for as long as it is.

[Co-host 1]

But I was so confused to the way that stuff worked and, like, so broke as a kid. I was like, these people have other cars.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Co-host 1]

Like, it seems like a rich person thing if you don't.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, yeah, they have multiple cars.

[Co-host 1]

It seems like a rich person thing if you don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

It should be impossible to have multiple cars.

[Chappelle Lacy]

It should be fucking merely impossible. But they had it.

[Co-host 1]

You have so many cars. You just have ones that are broken that you're gonna fix.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And some of it is you went broke because of those cars, which is why they're in your Lawn.

[Co-host 1]

But at 15, I didn't know that.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Co-host 1]

I was like, oh, they got other cars. That's crazy. My. We never had another car.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

Ever, Ever.

[Langston Kerman]

Because your mom was hoping to make a different plan.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, no, no, no. She was. And then she moved us to a place that she did not understand the dynamics of.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Co-host 1]

Here I am.

[Langston Kerman]

And now as to his other conspiracy, because we should wrap this up with. With his other claim of starting a church of hotels who are physically strong, I think he's implying, and therefore able to take down the. The.

[Chappelle Lacy]

The Maga.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. The Maga movement. I feel my brother.

[Co-host 1]

You.

[Langston Kerman]

You are mistaken. We are, unfortunately quite outnumbered also.

[Co-host 1]

That's not the nature of Warfare anymore.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I. Yeah, I don't.

[Co-host 1]

It's not gonna be like jack dudes versus jack dudes.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't fucking happen like that.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, unfortunately. I mean, there was a time maybe I get it, that you were trying to collect.

[Chappelle Lacy]

That's some Game of Thrones.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah. But it's not anymore.

[Langston Kerman]

It's not 300.

[Chappelle Lacy]

It's not 300.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, right.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

This is.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

This is real life. And they have drones and they are going to shoot the shit out of a nigga in a crown.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah. They're gonna kill four hotels.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah. Hand to hand combat is almost like. It's like not as important, I think. I think it's the least important it's ever been, brother.

[Langston Kerman]

The Anunnaki is going to win this round. Go ahead and let that one go, my man.

[Co-host 1]

And also tell the truth. I think you just want to hang out with the buff guys and that's fine.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Langston Kerman]

That's what it felt like as well.

[Chappelle Lacy]

That's what it felt like mentioning jacked. And I go, I ain't seen no jacked hotel.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

Not like for real.

[Langston Kerman]

Some of them are pretty buff because they're like on like these very strict diets. But it never has felt like in a way where they're like weaponizing it.

[Chappelle Lacy]

No, I guess. Yeah, you're right.

[Co-host 1]

Except for that one video where they're all training, which I saw on a weird quarter of the Internet. And you like.

[Langston Kerman]

But that's a Hebrew.

[Co-host 1]

No, no, no.

[Langston Kerman]

You're getting some of these mixed up. That's the Hebrew Israelites.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, that training video. You know what I'm talking about?

[Langston Kerman]

So there is a group in Philadelphia of. Of Hebrew Israelites that I am very actively checking in on. And they sleep outside. That's where my Internet is.

[Co-host 1]

I am seeing some of them titties too.

[Chappelle Lacy]

No.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, everybody's seeing the titties. I'm sorry. I made it feel like that. There is strange, but it is big stuff on. Everything's big.

[Langston Kerman]

It gets big. But there is also a very big group of Hebrew Israelites in Philly that like actively post sort of like both them reading and unpacking scriptures to better explain why white people are the devil. And then there's also a bunch of shit where they'll post like full military training videos. Right. And them like pepper spraying each other and. And running up like the fucking walls and shit. It just heals in a part to. To war. Yeah, yeah, it's, it's. I like it quite A bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Co-host 1]

If I come across when, I'll send it to you. It's fun to watch.

[Chappelle Lacy]

We love a fun watch.

[Langston Kerman]

Mo taps are a little more intellectual.

[Co-host 1]

Less physical.

[Langston Kerman]

Less physical. So I think, bro, if you think you can activate the Hebrew Israelites, you will have in total 128 dudes. And with that, yeah, good luck against the States.

[Co-host 1]

I feel like you just want to knock down a bad dude from Philly. Like, a buff dude from Philly was kind of the right. Was the tone that I felt about it. I don't think that's a crazy reason.

[Langston Kerman]

No, it felt that way for me as.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's cool, man.

[Chappelle Lacy]

I love that shit you talk about, like, being outnumbered. I don't love it, but it's just like. It is what it is sometimes. I'll tell you a story. This is actually a crazy story. I remember one time I went to. This is when I was cheering in college and I went to. I didn't have any money to go fly back home to Arizona. So one of my friends was like, hey, come to. You can come to Virginia with me and hang with me and my family. I was like, cool, cool. Yeah, yeah. And then one of the nights, they were like, we're gonna go to this party. I was like, oh, cool, cool, cool. Like, it's in the trailer parks, you know, Like, I was like, oh, that's funny. You know, whatever. And where the trailer parks was, there was just like, no other civilization. You know what I mean? Cause we have trailer park homes back home in Arizona. But, like, you can go out. Like, you're in. I mean, you're still in the city. Like, it's just. Is what it is. But this was like trailer parks that were like, you know, like, I was like, at true. Rural True. You had. That's the real white ghettos.

[Co-host 1]

That's the real white ghetto. For real.

[Chappelle Lacy]

I go there, right? And I walk in. Obviously, I'm the only black person there for miles. For miles, bro. And I was just like. I kept thinking, like, okay, like, now you're in Fight or Flight. I walk in. They have. Obviously. And this is their home. They have the fattest Confederate flag just hanging.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, yeah.

[Chappelle Lacy]

I was like, hey, this your house?

[Langston Kerman]

I'm not sure why you would invite me here.

[Chappelle Lacy]

I was like, yeah, this is. I love your decor, bro. They didn't know who I was. She was just bringing me. Cause she thought it would be fun.

[Co-host 1]

She's crazy.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Crazy. It was like that. Remember the Titan scene? We're like, well, could this go eat at this restaurant?

[Co-host 1]

Yeah.

[Chappelle Lacy]

You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

That's nuts.

[Chappelle Lacy]

And so.

[Co-host 1]

It'S only pies, bro.

[Chappelle Lacy]

And all I did was like, yeah, yeah. All I did was I sat at a table. I didn't move. I just sat there the whole night. Cause I was like, I'm not drinking. That's the last thing you want to do.

[Langston Kerman]

No.

[Chappelle Lacy]

You know what I mean? I loved drinking at the time. I loved drinking.

[Langston Kerman]

You probably could have used one.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah, right? Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

It probably would have taken the edge off.

[Chappelle Lacy]

So I just sat there and there was people that would come talk to me throughout the night, you know, some people there. And the guy drops the M bomb at you. Not at me, just in the fucking.

[Co-host 1]

Cause it was in the ether.

[Chappelle Lacy]

It was in the ether. It was grunting and it was hard riding.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Chappelle Lacy]

And I. And I remember I was telling people about this, you know, everyone's like, what'd you do? I go, the fuck are you talking?

[Co-host 1]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

What?

[Chappelle Lacy]

I was like, oh. I'm like, damn. I didn't hear nothing, bro. You know what I mean? Like, it's just like. I mean, what do you. What do you want me to do? Like, I don't blame my friend. I think she just thought like, whatever, you know, like, obviously she wasn't educated enough to. Where it's like, hey, you think. I mean, you see his fucking. What's hanging on his wall.

[Co-host 1]

I think those people don't realize how extreme that is either, though.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yes.

[Co-host 1]

Like, they. She didn't. She didn't think her people were that extreme.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Exactly.

[Co-host 1]

Because nobody ever does.

[Chappelle Lacy]

No one ever does. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Until, like, it happens.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chappelle Lacy]

But it's like, to ask me, what would you do? Would you.

[Langston Kerman]

Bro, I did nothing.

[Chappelle Lacy]

I did nothing, bro. There's just.

[Co-host 1]

No.

[Langston Kerman]

I ate that.

[Chappelle Lacy]

You eat that? Yeah, you just eat that, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

Also, in a relationship with that person.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

To be completely surrounded is a. Another thing. I think a lot of people don't know what that feeling is like. To literally be. There's no other black.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

Because I've been in situations like that too, where it's like, oh, you. You could die out here.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Yeah. Honestly. One of the dudes, one of the southern looking country bumpkin, he literally was like. He literally looked at me, he goes, I'm terribly sorry. Like, it wasn't him that said it, but he just apologized. He was like. He's like, you know, like, trying to make me feel comfortable.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Which I appreciated that. I was like, oh, it's cool, bro. Like, whatever. Like, I'd be saying it, too.

[Co-host 1]

Finally, somebody said it.

[Chappelle Lacy]

All right, give me that.

[Langston Kerman]

I was trying to see if y' all were cool. Turns out. Yes. Turns out. Y' all cool as hell, man.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, man.

[Langston Kerman]

I thought this party was dry before. Now we're loosening up.

[Co-host 1]

Take the shirt off.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Oh, what y' all niggas eating? My fucking God. Oh, man.

[Langston Kerman]

All right, I think we did it. Tell the people where they can find you. What cool shit you got going on.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Chappelle Lacy on everything. [e-mail]. just come to a live show. That's all I ask. That's all. I think we all ever asked. Yeah, you know, but, yeah, pretty much all that. Damn, I'm still cracking up out there.

[Langston Kerman]

Hell, yeah, dog.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Oh, y' all cool as hell. I was wondering when this gonna kick.

[Co-host 1]

I thought we was at a party.

[Langston Kerman]

Damn. Party don't sight till nigga walk in.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Oh, gosh. Oh, my gosh. My stomach hurts, bro.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, that's so funny, boy.

[Langston Kerman]

What you got?

[Co-host 1]

Cool guy joke z87 on Instagram. I don't really. I don't really have shit right now.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, follow me at Langston Carmen on all social media platforms. I got some new dates in 2026 for the aspiring Deadbeat Tour. You can get those [e-mail] I'm hitting some cities I wasn't able to hit because of conflicts. Cleveland. We're coming back. Dr. Greens. We're moving that date in Grand Rapids. And then there's gonna be some new cities coming up. So I'll keep you updated as that comes to be. And most importantly, you can follow [e-mail] you can send us messages to tell us what you think of our work. Good or bad, we accept it all. And you can give us a call at 844-LIL-MOMS, where we would love to hear more of your voicemails about the sexy men you would like to have affairs with if you were allowed your freedom. And most importantly, like, subscribe rate, review. Buy some merch. Bye, bitch. I'm not gay no more.

[Co-host 1]

I am delivered. Mini episode. Mini episode. Mini episode. Mini episode. Mini episode. Mini episode.

[Podcast Announcer]

This is an Iheart podcast.

[Chappelle Lacy]

Guaranteed human.