Little Guys with Big Faces: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Little Guys with Big Faces: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode"

Podcast Information:

• Title: My Momma Told Me
• Hosts: Langston Kerman and David Borey
• Produced By: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts
• Episode: Little Guys with Big Faces: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode
• Release Date: February 20, 2025

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Introduction

In the "Little Guys with Big Faces: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode," hosts Langston Kerman and David Borey dive into a candid and humorous exploration of height dynamics within personal experiences and the broader entertainment industry. This mini-episode, characterized by its raw and unfiltered dialogue, offers listeners an introspective look at societal perceptions of height, personal insecurities, and the challenges faced by shorter individuals in various aspects of life.

Personal Experiences with Height

Discussion on Childhood Roller Coaster Memories

• Timestamp [03:02]: Langston Kerman shares a poignant memory from his childhood at the Seattle Center, recounting his struggle to ride a roller coaster due to his shorter stature. He reflects, "I just remember his face. He was smiling so big." This anecdote sets the stage for a deeper conversation about the emotional impact of being the "little guy" in a world that often favors height.

• Timestamp [04:20]: David Borey empathizes, mentioning a high school friend who, despite being exceptionally tall at 7 feet, didn't make it to the professional basketball leagues. "7 to be 7ft and not make the league is like." This highlights the paradox where extreme height doesn't always equate to success, emphasizing that athleticism alone isn't a guaranteed path.

Desire for Height Increase

• Timestamp [06:24]: David opens up about his personal aspirations related to height, revealing, "My dad is 6:2. I was really hoping I was gonna get to that." This sentiment echoes many listeners' feelings of wanting to physically match or exceed familial height norms.

• Timestamp [07:21]: Both hosts discuss the emotional turmoil of meeting absent or disappointing father figures, centering on unmet expectations related to height and paternal presence. Langston poignantly states, "That was truly more upsetting than him not being there in my life."

Height in the Entertainment Industry

Perceptions of Actors' Height

• Timestamp [09:04]: The conversation shifts to the entertainment industry, where Langston and David observe that many actors are either notably tall or short, with few occupying the average height range. Langston remarks, "But that's what it's for, right? Little guys with big faces." This points to a trend where height is often exaggerated or minimized for on-screen presence.

• Timestamp [11:56]: Discussing iconic TV shows like "A Different World," Langston notes the impeccable presentation of actors, making them appear larger-than-life on screen. "They lit the fuck out of it. They’re dressed so well." This underscores the industry's role in shaping and sometimes distorting physical perceptions.

Accountability and Representation

• Timestamp [28:45]: The hosts delve into the lack of accountability within the entertainment industry, using Terrence Howard as a case study. David asserts, "The industry ain't gonna stop giving us Brad Pitt movies," highlighting how financial interests often overshadow personal misconduct.

• Timestamp [31:14]: Addressing platform responsibilities, David critiques streaming services for not taking definitive stances against problematic figures like R. Kelly. "If they take all of R Kelly down, where are you going to hear TP2?" This raises questions about corporate responsibility versus consumer choice.

Voicemail Segment

Voicemail 1: Unconventional Lyrics Critique

• Timestamp [20:21 - 22:20]: A voicemail from a listener critiques the violent and misogynistic lyrics in hip-hop, prompting Langston and David to discuss the broader implications of such content on youth and community violence. Langston humorously reacts, "Sometimes maybe C Delores Tucker wasn't so crazy." The hosts agree on the detrimental effects of such narratives, emphasizing the need for more empowering and positive messages in music.

Voicemail 2: Hypothetical Co-Hosting Scenario

• Timestamp [23:12 - 35:31]: Mike from Texas poses a hypothetical scenario where the hosts must choose between Ray J and Terrence Howard as co-hosts. Langston and David engage in a spirited debate, ultimately deciding Ray J should handle production while Terrence Howard takes on co-hosting duties. This segment showcases their dynamic chemistry and ability to navigate unexpected and humorous challenges.

Key Insights and Conclusions

1. Height and Self-Perception: Both hosts emphasize how height significantly influences self-esteem and societal interactions. Personal anecdotes reveal the deep-seated emotions tied to physical stature.

2. Entertainment Industry Trends: The discussion sheds light on how the entertainment industry manipulates physical attributes for better on-screen appeal, often neglecting genuine representation.

3. Lack of Accountability: There's a critical examination of the entertainment industry's reluctance to hold influential figures accountable for their actions, prioritizing profit over morality.

4. Impact of Media on Youth: The hosts highlight the negative influence of certain music genres on youth behavior and societal norms, advocating for more responsible and positive content creation.

5. Dynamic Hosting Chemistry: Through unsolicited voicemails, Langston and David demonstrate their ability to maintain engaging and entertaining discourse, reinforcing the podcast's appeal.

Notable Quotes

• Langston Kerman:

  • "我是个混蛋迷你剧，我不知道这个世界会带来什么，但我知道一件事，这对我来说是谎言，宝贝，因为我是个流氓。” [02:05]
  • "Little guys with big faces." [09:23]
  • "I'm glad you remember, though, bro." [21:27]

• David Borey:

  • "They stuck." [16:22]
  • "The industry ain't gonna stop giving us Brad Pitt movies." [28:45]
  • "If I found myself wanting true, like, vengeance against the world, it would only get dark like that." [15:42]

Conclusion

The "Little Guys with Big Faces: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode" offers a compelling blend of personal storytelling, critical analysis of the entertainment industry, and incisive commentary on societal norms related to height and representation. Langston Kerman and David Borey deliver an engaging narrative that not only entertains but also provokes thoughtful reflection on the intersections of personal identity and broader cultural forces.

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Connect With the Hosts:

• Langston Kerman:

  • Instagram: @LangstonKerman
  • Patreon: patreon.com/davidborey
  • Upcoming Shows:
    • Carco Theater, Renton, WA: March 1st
    • Comedy Common and Wealth, Dayton, KY: March 14th
    • Comedy Corner Underground, Minneapolis: March 15th

• David Borey:

  • Instagram: @DavidBorey
  • Comedy Shows:
    • JFL Vancouver Festival: February 22nd
    • Vermont Comedy Club: March 27th-29th

Join the Conversation:

• Email: [e-mail]
• Subscribe, Review, and Follow: Available on all major podcast platforms.

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This summary is intended for informational purposes and encapsulates the key elements of the "Little Guys with Big Faces: Motherfckin Mini Episode" of the "My Momma Told Me" podcast. For the full experience, listeners are encouraged to tune into the original episode.*

Transcript

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[David Borey]

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[Langston Kerman]

Motherfucking mini episode mini episode Motherfucking mini episode I don't know what this world's gonna bring But I know one thing that this is a lie for me baby Cause I'm a thug. Welcome little mamas and gentiles. Al welcome back to another phenomenal episode.

[David Borey]

Of My Mama Told Me the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we.

[Langston Kerman]

Finally work to prove the conspiracies of you, the listener. It's a motherfucking mini episode Short little.

[David Borey]

Bitch It's a short little Bitch.

[Langston Kerman]

Little sawed off bitch. Little half half pint ass bitch.

[David Borey]

You know your ass can't reach up there.

[Langston Kerman]

Go.

[David Borey]

Ass fell.

[Langston Kerman]

Don't even get in line to ride the roller coaster.

[David Borey]

You know you can't ride that roller coaster.

[Langston Kerman]

Did you ever get. Were you. Do you ever remember being too little to ride a roller coaster?

[David Borey]

Uh, no, because although I'm such a. I don't do heights well and have never done heights well.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[David Borey]

So there was never a time where I was like, you know, I mean, trying to shoot my shot on some shit that I. I didn't belong on.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, man, I caught a bad one. We went to the Seattle center when I was a kid and I was trying to ride a ride. And me and my best friend at the time, who was very tall, even for a boy, you know what I'm saying? Like a tall boy. He got on and I was just a little bit and I was crying and I had to watch him. I cried. This is. Cause this is like probably like 8 or 9. It wasn't like pre puberty, you know what I mean? It was like still and like I thought that, I thought I could get it, man. I just remember his face. He was smiling so big. It was like. Yeah.

[David Borey]

They just watch him live dream and.

[Langston Kerman]

He, he hold back. He was like, amazing.

[David Borey]

Yeah, maybe you got to get bigger, man.

[Langston Kerman]

That was so fucking cool, bro. And now they're all tall. His little brother's seven foot tall.

[David Borey]

God damn.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I don't think I know any.

[David Borey]

I don't think I know any 7ft, 7 foot people.

[Langston Kerman]

Devin is the only one. And it's like, it was crazy because when he was a kid he was not that tall. And then he just like middle school height. But he was crazy athletic. That also shows you how much people can hoop because he was like, as a kid he was super athletic, like very athletic. And shot up and continued to be and still couldn't make like the league type of thing. And he was one of the more athletic people I ever knew.

[David Borey]

7. To be 7ft and not make the league is like. And you really did try to hoop is actually pretty rare. It feels like they give you a shot just for being that big at some point.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I don't know, man.

[David Borey]

Damn, that's nasty. Cold world, Cold world. I think the most, the highest I know is 6, 9. There was a kid I went to high school, a dude I went to high school with, I was good friends with at 6, 9, but that's.

[Langston Kerman]

How far did he go?

[David Borey]

Like D3.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Yeah. I think 6 9's a really unfortunate height.

[Langston Kerman]

Now.

[David Borey]

Especially because he was a true big.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, yeah. You gotta be crazy athletic.

[David Borey]

You gotta be crazy athletic. And you gotta be able to stretch, you know what I mean? Like, you gotta be able to, like, learn to shoot. You gotta be able to learn to ball handle at six'nine I mean, they're.

[Langston Kerman]

Bringing the ball up now big sometimes.

[David Borey]

Yeah. And he was playing, like back to the basket, you know, six'nine basketball. And it's like, oh, anything after high school, you're gonna be. You're gonna be outta place. Big dog.

[Langston Kerman]

Ah, probably a king at the 24 hour, though. You know what I mean? Which is not a bad life. You just took King hooper at the 24 hour.

[David Borey]

F. First pick at every 24 hour fitness.

[Langston Kerman]

That's a pretty good. That's a pretty. I would be happy with that. How. Here's a question. How tall did you hope you were gonna be?

[David Borey]

My dad is 6:2. I was really hoping I was gonna get to that.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[David Borey]

And that didn't. That wasn't happening, unfortunately.

[Langston Kerman]

I thought I could have made this whole thing work the way I wanted to. About 6'two6'three cause when your dad's an X factor, anything's possible.

[David Borey]

Yeah. You're like.

[Langston Kerman]

And then because my mom is mad.

[David Borey]

Numbers on this guy.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, he could be in my head.

[David Borey]

I'm like, this could go crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, he's probably 7 4. Like this give me the size 15s now. Just because I'm gonna grow into him. And then I met him, and it was truly more upsetting than him not being there in my life. It was truly like, God damn it. Tough, tough pill to swallow.

[David Borey]

That does suck. To go your whole life with no information about your father and then to finally meet him and you're like, wait a minute. You don't got nothing good going on here to offer me. Nothing.

[Langston Kerman]

I mean, not. Not. It just wasn't good. The height thing. And that was the one thing I was needing. I felt okay otherwise. I wasn't like, you know, I need to learn how to. You know what I mean? I was 17, but like, I would have. I could have used that. I could have used those extra inches.

[David Borey]

You could have used meeting this man and him being like, I grew late. And you too.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's. That was. That was really all I was looking for out of it.

[David Borey]

I actually had a growth spurt in college, and that's why I'm six three. And you will be too. And you're like, fuck. Fuck, man.

[Langston Kerman]

Go on back into the darkness.

[David Borey]

Hey, man, it's been a pleasure.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I'll take it from here. But then you're faced with just having to try to build a relationship with this man who was irresponsible and the same height as you.

[David Borey]

Irresponsible and five'eight is crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

Why'd you even come back? Why'd you even come back?

[David Borey]

You could be one or the other.

[Langston Kerman]

But you can't be over here with that.

[David Borey]

You can't be a AM58.

[Langston Kerman]

That's nuts. Oh, yeah. Oh, well, entertainment, you know, it's a longer, longer life.

[David Borey]

No, man, I, you know what? I, I, I didn't know this until I was at the WGAs this past weekend. This whole time, I thought Joseph Gordon Levitt was tall. And he ain't tall. He's like five eight, five nine.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think any actors are tall except for the ones who are huge.

[David Borey]

Yeah, I think they're all little. They're not a lot of average. It feels like you're either like a little guy or you're a big guy, but there's not a lot of, like, just straight down the middle. Motherfuckers.

[Langston Kerman]

But that's what it's for, right? Little guys with big faces.

[David Borey]

Little guys with big faces. You're right.

[Langston Kerman]

That's like the whole, that's the whole setup. Even more surprising to me than actors is I don't really. I never realized until I moved to LA and kind of got into the industry how little actresses are.

[David Borey]

Yeah, they're teeny tiny.

[Langston Kerman]

It's like, it's like crazy. I saw. Who's that blonde lady from Mean Girls? I saw her, saw her at 10 or greens one time and I was like, she looked like a doll. She was like a little, like, it's like crazy how little she was.

[David Borey]

Yeah, they're, they're Amanda Seyfried, Olivia saying.

[Langston Kerman]

No, the other one, the main one.

[David Borey]

Oh, you're, you're talking about. God damn it. No, not Lindsay Lohan.

[Langston Kerman]

The Notebook.

[David Borey]

Yeah, Rachel. Rachel McAdams. Not Rachel Adams. Rachel McAdams, I believe is the name.

[Langston Kerman]

Which is, anyway, isn't the point. The point is just these people, it's a good life for them to make you look big on screen forever.

[David Borey]

No, they're small, height, wise, but they're also like teeny tiny. Like, you know, like truly skinny, little frail looking people. And it's, it's fascinating when you see it all in person.

[Langston Kerman]

It's bizarre. Also you wonder his camera technology not cut up. Caught up to being able to fix whatever. Like, we can't just put normal people on screen anymore.

[David Borey]

I think it's not that the camera adds 10 pounds because of the technology. I think the camera adds 10 pounds because when you're watching someone with that intensity, you are picking every little piece of their body apart.

[Langston Kerman]

Right. And so. Stories tall.

[David Borey]

Yeah. And so it just becomes like you're noticing every little, like, detail of a person's person in a way that you wouldn't if you were just talking to them, like, face to face.

[Langston Kerman]

That's fair.

[David Borey]

It's why everybody looks sexy on tv. And then you see them in real life and you're like, oh, you're. You're fine.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, they do look like real people, which is, like, comforting to me. I don't know. Oh, you know what I was watching the other day that I was like, God damn. I was watching A Different World and just like I watched the pilot of A Different World and just like the lighting and everything, these people, they look like gods. They're unbelievably beautiful. Every. It's like they lit the fuck out of it. They're dressed so well. You're like, this is like, no wonder people. TV was aspirational. These people look like they. They truly look like other being. Even like Dwyane Wayne. They look. They all look incredible.

[David Borey]

Yeah. And then you see Kadeem Hardison in real life, you know, that's just a. It's just a man.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey, shout out to Kadeem, though. He had it. He had it.

[David Borey]

He had it. That man had it when he had it.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on, man. Just a reasonable black lead, reasonable dark skinned lead. That's all we ever needed.

[David Borey]

Yeah, it's. Yeah, he really had it. And I think he had it for the right amount of time, you know what I mean? Like, I don't think, like, it doesn't feel like anything was taken from him, or I go like, oh, man, what the fuck? What could have been with Kadeem? He got what he was supposed to get out of this.

[Langston Kerman]

We're just happy for the sixth man, baby.

[David Borey]

It made me cry. I watched it in theaters on my birthday and I cried.

[Langston Kerman]

You cried on your birthday?

[David Borey]

Yeah, I cried. Me and my friends had a. I invited 10 of my best friends to the movies for my birthday. My dad made us line up so he could stuff our pockets with fruit snacks and juice boxes.

[Langston Kerman]

Good man.

[David Borey]

And we all sat down and watched the Six man in theaters. And I cried multiple times in that film.

[Langston Kerman]

Multiple times. Wait, you cried Both times when he died the first time.

[David Borey]

When he died the first time, and then when he ascended the second time. Both. Both got me.

[Langston Kerman]

You really always had the soul of a poet, huh?

[David Borey]

Yep. And as also, that's why you gotta really lean into the. The demon. Because you cry in front of a bunch of boys and they eat you alive and now all of a sudden, you gotta worship the devil, you know? Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You gotta call somebody's mom ugly or poor or something like that.

[David Borey]

Exactly.

[Langston Kerman]

That completely makes sense.

[David Borey]

Y'all made me make this choice. I didn't make this choice. I was the kind of guy that cried during the sixth man.

[Langston Kerman]

You could have kept that energy.

[David Borey]

No, no, because. Because I cried during the sixth man, and a group of people who I thought were my dearest friends called me the F word. So. No.

[Langston Kerman]

Do you ever worry that you maybe have too many origin stories?

[David Borey]

Yeah. Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do think about that.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. Sometimes, man, because I got some bad ones, but those are so. That's so hard.

[David Borey]

I was just a sincere boy, man. And.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, man. It's in there somewhere, though. Do you think that there's, like. Do you think that there is an amount of revenge you can get on the world that will align you back in touch with that boy who cried twice at the sixth man? Or do you think it's gone forever and we just. Now we got the Joker?

[David Borey]

I think if I truly were seeking revenge, I would turn into Elon.

[Langston Kerman]

Interesting.

[David Borey]

Do you know what I mean? Like, I think that Elon's behavior is strictly a person seeking revenge against a world that he considered to have been mean to him.

[Langston Kerman]

That's fair.

[David Borey]

And why he would feel that way, given, you know, the fact that you guys were enslaving South Africans and minds, is beyond me. But. But that is his interpretation of the world. And I think that's 100% why he's doing all he's doing. It's the reason he won't stop making children. It's the reason he won't sort of, like, stop trying to represent himself as this genius hero of the world, all while literally attempting to destroy it. It's all a vengeance play.

[Langston Kerman]

No, that is a very good deflection you just did. But what I. And I'm saying.

[David Borey]

I'm saying. God, I'm saying that. That I. If. If I found myself wanting true, like, vengeance against the world, it would only get dark like that. I don't.

[Langston Kerman]

Right.

[David Borey]

I don't think there's a version of this where you can seek vengeance and, like, Be like, I feel satisfied now and move on.

[Langston Kerman]

Right. Okay. That's interesting.

[David Borey]

So many too many motherfuckers that. That I have on a list. You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

I do. I think my list is probably shorter than yours, but it's. I got a list.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And it's like none of them would see it coming is the thing about my list. It's like. It's like. Because it's not like it's not the biggest slights or the worst humiliations, it's just the ones that, for whatever reason, broke through all the veneer and they just live in there.

[David Borey]

Yeah. They stuck.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Does that bother you that they wouldn't know? Like, is that embarrassing at all? That, like, you would seek vengeance against somebody and they're like, David. David who?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Because it ultimately reminds you that you are as sensitive as they were. Maybe making fun of you for being.

[David Borey]

Yep.

[Langston Kerman]

Right. In that, like, you gave it way more power a than it ne. Than it needed. You know what I mean?

[David Borey]

It meant the world to you and they didn't think a second thought about it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, but that's just. Just be like that.

[David Borey]

Yeah, it does. It does.

[Langston Kerman]

Anyways, we got some voicemails.

[David Borey]

We got voicemails that we should talk about. We have.

[Langston Kerman]

Don't worry about us and our lists.

[David Borey]

Yeah, sure, it's pinned up on my refrigerator for my family to see, but that's my business and no one else's.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Do I sleep a lot at night? Who cares? All that matters is I wake up in the morning and I come to work.

[David Borey]

Yeah, work.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, work is.

[David Borey]

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[Serena Pitt]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[David Borey]

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[David Borey]

We got a couple voicemails that we we want to do this first one I think we we don't know a lot about it but I think it's fair to say it's an oddity. Let's let's just frame it as that and and Olivia will play it and and we'll we won't give a lot away from what we we gather from this voicemail.

[Langston Kerman]

I memorized this song when I was way too young. You wanna go down? Why not? I'll be like Herbie and hand you a cock and tell you that my name is get on your knees make like the breeze begin to blow but don't give me no Ralph Lauren grant if you're not down to go low I'm all about mouth suck it if not be channel being keep trucking and chapstick I'm coming ashes hell with chap dicks big chapped ass lips treating your teeth a dentist while I'm rubbing them with an erection like injections it I'll be drugging them numbing up your tonsils like episode anesthetic coming down your throat like chloraseptic the time for apology girlfriend white swallowing gargling I'm giving bitches permanent beards to put your lips here and catch these damn facial hairs in your.

[David Borey]

Mouth I said your motherfucking mouth. You did it. Yeah, you know the rest.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, so sometimes maybe C Delores Tucker wasn't so crazy. That shit was.

[David Borey]

I'm really struggling to understand why this.

[Langston Kerman]

Man called us rapping. Akanelli.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Remember I said that? I didn't know the. I never knew the lyrics.

[David Borey]

Oh.

[Langston Kerman]

I only knew the chorus.

[David Borey]

Yeah, man. You gotta remind us of stuff. You can't just not.

[Langston Kerman]

You thought he was just. You thought he just called us. He did that.

[David Borey]

I thought he was just like, man, you're not gonna believe, but I got memorized.

[Langston Kerman]

That's way funnier.

[David Borey]

And I. And I got other songs, too.

[Langston Kerman]

Call me back.

[David Borey]

Like, what the. Like, bro. Be like, hey, remember when y'all said nobody knows the lyrics? I actually do hear. Yeah. Like, cool, I guess. I don't know. That was fucking weird, man.

[Langston Kerman]

It was weird. It was very funny.

[David Borey]

It was very funny. And you're right. I think. I think while. While there was an era where. Where they were maybe being a little extreme in some of their suggestions about what hip hop was doing to the youth of. Of the future, they weren't completely off.

[Langston Kerman]

That was steering children wrong.

[David Borey]

Me included that song. They're talking about drugging women. They're talking about stuffing their dicks like turkeys.

[Langston Kerman]

All of this ashy, ashy dicks.

[David Borey]

None of this is encouraging or empowering in any kind of way. This is truly a violence against a lot of communities. So. Yeah, she was right. Yeah. Damn.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm glad you remember, though, bro. We have another one. That's not.

[David Borey]

Thanks for calling. I guess. I don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Yeah, let's do this other voicemail.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey, David and Langston, this is Mike from Texas. I have a scenario or a question that I think encompasses everything that the podcast represents. Okay. The question that I think both of you should answer is this. Your co host and producer are going to be absent for recording.

[David Borey]

Okay?

[Langston Kerman]

So. Meaning maybe Olivia is gone. Either one of you are going, and so you have to pick a co host. Your only two choices are Ray J. And Terrence Howard. So one of them will produce, and the other one will co host. So which one do you pick? Also, David, what kind of bike do you have? Thanks.

[David Borey]

Whoa. Little squeeze right at the end. What kind of bike you got?

[Langston Kerman]

I got a specialized roll 2.0.

[David Borey]

Okay. Is that. Is that a good bike? I have no idea.

[Langston Kerman]

It's okay. It's like the closest you could get to a beach cruiser while still being a real bike. It's real nice, though. It's so smooth. That's what I like about it. It's so smooth. Like a great road bike for around town.

[David Borey]

I ain't got no bike.

[Langston Kerman]

You should, man. It's like, it's. I got a couple friends into it. It's like, you forget how great. Well, were you a bike kid, though?

[David Borey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I roll bikes a lot, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

Get back on a bike, you will remember. Just. I suggest go to the beach with your family and just ride. One day you'll remember how much fun it is. This is a great time.

[David Borey]

I think once Kenzie is old enough to, like, ride, I. I'm down. I. I think right now it. It would just be me with a bike and nobody else. You know what I mean? So it'd be like, weird, but. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I mean, you know what you see on the road a lot is a lot of the dads. And then they got the little. They got the little. The little thing the kid sits in. In the back.

[David Borey]

That scares me.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's fair.

[David Borey]

That scares the shit out of me. But I hear you. Yeah. Maybe I gotta grow up and just be willing to risk my children's lives a little bit also.

[Langston Kerman]

Maybe you just do it for you. You just go out. Dad needs to clear his head.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Everybody shut the fuck up for an hour. I'll be back. I don't know why they have to be quiet while I leave.

[Langston Kerman]

They gotta think about it.

[David Borey]

Think about what it would feel like if I don't come back.

[Langston Kerman]

This is a good question, though. I. You wanna answer first? I got my answer already.

[David Borey]

I have mine as well. But you. You were already in it. Go ahead.

[Langston Kerman]

All right. I think that it would have to be. I think Ray J as a chatty producer and Terrence Howard as a co.

[David Borey]

Host, I 100% agree. I don't think that there's another configuration that would make sense. Ray J is a star. Objectively, one of the greatest gifts that has ever been given to this planet. I dare say a man who is never not being funny and. Or viral. He told me that, in fact, himself. He said everything I do is it either goes viral or causes some kind of like. It's either funny, it's. It's cool, or it goes viral. I think is essentially what he told me. God bless. And he's not wrong. It all works. And so, yeah, you want him producing, you want him to be able to like, cue in on the. The. The key moments that make for a great podcast. But Terrence Howard, you gotta let him go crazy with the conspiracies.

[Langston Kerman]

We gotta let him talk as long as possible.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And I think him on the other side now he's trying to do some new math with the production. That's not. You know what I mean?

[David Borey]

Yeah. He's gonna, like, say we have to release the episode at 12:38, because that's when it aligns mathematically with the sun. And it's like, hey, man, you're being fucking weird, bro. Yeah, I need the episode to go up. I talked to Ray J. Was really fun. Don't do this.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, exactly. And I would want to hear Terrence Howard listen to some of our emails. What's he think about Akanelli rapping?

[David Borey]

Do you think Terrence Howard. Because he's interesting. He, like, still really likes black people. Even as he does all this weirdo shit and marries tons of Asian women. He does really seem to cherish the black community. Do you think he. He looks back at that song with warm memories?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I think he was outside and it was fun. I think. Yeah, I don't think that. I think if you were of a certain age and he was on, maybe not in a major way, but he had already been in movies and shit like that, so he was having a summer, like. Yeah. I think he probably looks back very fondly at that.

[David Borey]

I think we underestimate how powerful Terrence Howard was at his height. He really. He could have been. He could have been a king. And he just couldn't get out of his own way in a lot of ways, but he still is a great man, obviously. It's just.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. And I think he could come back.

[David Borey]

You think Terrence Howard could find his way back to the peak?

[Langston Kerman]

Have you not seen what's going on where jumping the shark. Anything could happen. I don't think anything he's done is that off putting as to not be able to find himself a large enough group to support him in a major way.

[David Borey]

I don't disagree with the sentiment. My only. I guess, where I question it a little bit is that we're not doing that with black people.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's fair.

[David Borey]

Everybody that's like, you know, finding their. Their second wind as, you know, celebrities and. And powerhouses. It's not black people. It's mostly white meanies.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's fair. But he also didn't. I mean, I guess. I don't know. I'm not so up on him in the way where, like, I don't think he did things as bad as people who should be canceled for a lot. You know what I mean? I think he made up a bunch or he thought that he was smart and maybe he wasn't or Whatever. But I don't think he was like, I guess there's that shit with his ex wife, though, huh?

[David Borey]

He's got some domestic violence. He's got some child support shit. There's. There's some stuff in there. I don't know. I. I think. And this is maybe a larger conversation, I think that there's. There are these calls for accountability that don't exist in reality, right? That, like, we, the. The consumer are meant to hold artists accountable for their, quote, unquote, bad behavior that we're never really fully let in on. And also that even if we ourselves choose to hold them accountable, the industry is not matching that sentiment. You know what I mean? It's the reason why, like, a Brad Pitt, who I adore, has tons and tons of rumors of being a bad guy, some of which can be verified through the fact that his kids don't speak to him anymore. You know what I mean? Like, I didn't even know all that. I didn't.

[Langston Kerman]

Brad's a bad guy. Bad Brad.

[David Borey]

I think he's a drinker and probably a yeller. And. And, you know, maybe the suggestion is maybe worse. But the point is, he. The industry ain't gonna stop giving us Brad Pitt movies. So how do you want me to fall out of love with him? Do you know what I mean? How do you want me to reassess this whole relationship if y'all. Y'all the actual power holders won't introduce real accountability?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's fair. It's a. I'm just thinking about it. I'm like entertainment's trash, man. I should have fucking started selling insurance.

[David Borey]

I just think about, like, how much. You know what I mean? There were all these years where people were like, you can't listen to R. Kelly. He's the worst, man. And nobody ever took them off their streaming platforms, right? Like, not once did Spotify go, we don't want to make money off of R. Kelly anymore.

[Langston Kerman]

I thought there was.

[David Borey]

Was there still is an R. Kelly on Spotify.

[Langston Kerman]

Didn't they try to do it and then, like, Kendrick advocated for it for not taking his music off. There was, like, a debate about it, I'm pretty sure.

[David Borey]

I think we were debating that shit. I don't think Spotify was ever debating it. Maybe I'm tripping. Maybe I really don't remember, but I think all these platforms where Apple music was like, no, we're not gonna get rid of R. Kelly. If y'all wanna listen to it, we got it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I mean, listen, nobody cares about Anything other than money.

[David Borey]

I think that's kind of the point is like none of the, the only responsibility is being put on the consumer. It's never on the actual like corporations that are truly the, the only reason we can access this shit in the first place. If they take all of R Kelly down, where, where are you going to hear TP2?

[Langston Kerman]

I, I think that that's, I think that's given the corporate overload lords too much power. You fucking. If Spotify takes R. Kelly down, you'll be able to get to R. Kelly. You could get to it. Like, I don't think, I don't, I don't think that changes that.

[David Borey]

I'm saying you have to go and at a certain point you would have to go and get a hard copy of the thing. If all the streamers decided to introduce the accountability they claim to stand behind. The same is true of Harvey Weinstein films where like you keep telling me that this is the worst man, but nobody is going, hey, stop watching Pulp Fiction. Leave it alone. And it's because there's money in history there that you don't want to deal with.

[Langston Kerman]

It's also bigger than him. Woody Allen. These projects are all Annie Allen. I'm not keeping for Woody Allen, by the way. I'm just saying I think that like, I think that a lot of the reason they were able to even like, you wonder if Harvey Reinstein had been a more front facing thing as opposed to a producer, would it even have happened like that? That's what I'm saying.

[David Borey]

I don't know. I, I think my point, he's not.

[Langston Kerman]

I do, he's not a Brad Pitt. He's not a, he's not even a director. You know what I mean? It's like people, I don't know how many people even knew who he was before that happened.

[David Borey]

I think my point is less of like the individuals and more saying that there are countless examples of these people both front facing and behind the scenes where nobody is untethering their money from them.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh yeah, no, I, I, I, I agree with that. No one's ever going to even as.

[David Borey]

They, they call them bad guys and tell us that like, you know, they had no idea that this stuff was happening. They keep on trying to make more money off of whatever this is. And so, you know, as long as that's the case. What the fuck do you want from me?

[Langston Kerman]

Put it in your mouth.

[David Borey]

In your motherfucking mouth. Damn.

[Langston Kerman]

I think we did it.

[David Borey]

I think we did it. All right. I hope this answers your question. I think it's the only correct answer. Ray J is your producer. Terrence Howard is your co host.

[Langston Kerman]

Gotta be.

[David Borey]

Hey. Hey. You've got yourself a hit.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Yeah. If there were a world where Bori and Olivia were not available and Terrence Howard and Ray J were, please believe that this podcast will change. There is no world where I go back.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm like, nah, I'm away. I'm away.

[David Borey]

I'm loyal to David.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm waiting till likes it gets back from his bike ride. I'm not doing that.

[David Borey]

It is a different podcast from now on and I'm a bad guy and I'm okay with that. There's no part of me that's going back and I apologize for saying that out loud, but I hope it's the same. Same feeling across the board.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think I would. I think I would get sick of talking to Terrence Howard pretty quick though.

[David Borey]

Yeah, I don't think it's like one episode.

[Langston Kerman]

Three, four episodes. I'm not trying to talk to that dude every day.

[David Borey]

I think this is. I think it turns into a miniseries. You make an unbelievable 10 episodes with Terrence Howard and you obviously the last episode, you guys get into a big blow up fight that. That destroys everything. But man, what a ride.

[Langston Kerman]

That's fun.

[David Borey]

Well, you want to tell the people where they can find you what cool shit you got going on.

[Langston Kerman]

Cool guy jokes. 87 on Instagram patreon.com davidbory Buy my special Birds of a Nation. March 1st, I'm going to be at the Carco Theater in Renton, Washington outside of Seattle. March 14, I'm going to be at the Comedy Common and Wealth in Dayton, Kentucky, right across from Cincinnati. Cincinnati. And March 15th, I'm going to be at the Comedy Corner Underground in Minneapolis.

[David Borey]

Hell yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh yeah. Thank you for all the hilarious voicemails so far. Thank you for all the nasty voicemails so far. Thank you for all the drunk and quite frankly, unhinged voicemails so far. You guys are a bunch of sick freaks. For the time being, 844, lil moms is going to be down working on getting that voicemail time up so you don't get cut off after a minute. Now you can send us two, maybe even three minutes of undiluted nastiness. So be patient for us. And we're gonna get that up pretty soon. Langston, can you tell em where they can find you?

[David Borey]

Well, it's Thursday, so theoretically this weekend, if you live in Vancouver, you can come see me. I'll be at the JFL just for last Vancouver Festival. Come see me February 22nd. That's, that's this Saturday and it's going to be a great time. And then if you want to see me again, you can see me March 27th through the 29th at the Vermont Comedy Club. I'll be up there in Vermont doing my little jokes and whatnot. And you can follow me at Langston Kerman on all social media platforms. If you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracies, theories. If you want to tell us, I guess, who should be a third co host in that terrible, terrible trio of David, Terrence Howard and Ray J. Go ahead, throw it all [e-mail] and rate. Subscribe, review, buy the merch, pray and then, and then, and then pray again and vote. And vote. Vote for prayers. Bye bitch.

[Langston Kerman]

Mini Episodes Many episodes Motherfucking mini episode Many episodes Many episodes Motherfucking mini episode.

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