My Momma Told Me – "Manipulated by the Mayonnaise" w/ Carl Tart

Motherf*ckin Mini Episode
Released: August 21, 2025
Hosts: Langston Kerman, David Gborie
Guest: Carl Tart

Overview

In this lively mini episode, Langston, David, and returning guest Carl Tart dive into Black food lore, focusing on soda nostalgia and an unexpected deep-dive into the "mayonnaise conspiracy." They riff on childhood memories of sodas, Black cookout beverage politics, and how Undercover Brother may have forever tainted mayonnaise for Black folks. Woven throughout are the trademark humor, playful ribbing, and cultural insight that define the show.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Soda Nostalgia and Black Cookouts

[02:21–09:12]

• The hosts and Carl joke about a wide variety of sodas from their childhoods, starting with the resurgence of “Slice” and moving through regional favorites and cookout staples.
• Soda Hierarchies: Kids at Black cookouts usually only got the off-brand or generic sodas (like Safeway Select, King Soopers 3L, Shasta), while name-brands like Coke and Sprite were reserved for adults.
  • Carl: “The adults got the name brand stuff… I think that Pepsi… for us, mixture of Safeway Select… King Soopers made a three liter...” (05:12)
  • Langston: “That's like Shasta here.” (05:21)
  • David: “That feels like if the FDA wasn’t gonna step up, we never stood a chance. Yo, three liters is… too much.” (05:28)
• They share their greatest soda vices from childhood, such as Mountain Dew, Snapple, Arizona, Big Red, and knee-hi.
  • “Even me as a kid who like I said I loved soda… soda has been one of my biggest…I don't do no drugs but soda…” – Carl (05:55)
• They discuss flavor inflation — with endless new Mountain Dew versions and exotic Snapple or knee-hi flavors.
• Artificial vs. Real Fruit: There’s a running joke about “perfected fruit in the lab” and that artificial fruit flavors (like passion fruit or grape) are better or more memorable than the actual fruits.
  • David: “Have you ever had a grape regular?” (10:29)
  • Langston: “We perfected fruit in the lab, I think we acknowledge that, right?” (10:29)

The Black Mayonnaise Conspiracy

[13:57–18:37]

• Langston brings up the “Timberland conspiracy” as comic background, then pivots to the “mayonnaise incident.”
• Undercover Brother’s Role: The hosts explore how the Undercover Brother movie villainized mayonnaise for Black people.
  • Langston: “Remember when mayonnaise was… undercover brother ruined mayonnaise for Black people.” (15:02)
  • Carl: “As a Black man who does like mayonnaise, that was tough. I like it. I still feel embarrassed.” (15:07)
• They recognize a real cultural shift—mayonnaise became stigmatized, while Miracle Whip gets collectively scorned.
  • “People who say Miracle Whip is better than mayonnaise? Stupid people. Stupid. Kick yourself.” – Carl (15:31)
  • David: “You have no discernment as an adult, you can’t tell what’s going on.” (15:37)
  • Langston: “It tastes like spoiled mayonnaise, it's awful!” (15:43)
• Economic Conspiracies: The hosts float a humorous conspiracy theory that Eddie Griffin’s anti-mayonnaise jokes in Undercover Brother hurt the Hellmann’s/Best Foods brand and perhaps tanked his own career.
  • Langston: “I’m starting to think Eddie Griffin’s career took a downturn when he fucked around with mayonnaise. Interesting.” (16:24)
• The Power of the Black Dollar: The discussion notes how Black consumer choices influence brand direction, especially in food.
  • Langston: “The Black dollar is strong—if Black people stop buying something…” (17:22)
  • David: “I think specifically the Black food dollar is very strong.” (17:31)
• Cultural Shaming: They talk about how cultural shaming ("if you eat that, you ain't Black") works on the community more than righteousness.
  • Langston: “It’s a shame, but as a community, we’re not like 'it's the right thing to do, brother.'” (17:36)
• References to memorable Undercover Brother scenes: mayonnaise made to look gross, the hero forced to eat it with hot sauce for relief.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “That feels like if the FDA wasn't gonna step up, we never stood a chance. Yo, three liters is too much.” — David Gborie, (05:28)
• “Even me as a kid who like I said I loved soda… soda has been one of my biggest vices. I don't do no drugs but soda…” — Carl Tart, (05:55)
• "Dog, I used to think that Snapple was healthy for me… if I have a Snapple, then I'm doing good." — Langston Kerman, (08:17)
• "Remember when mayonnaise was… Undercover Brother ruined mayonnaise for Black people." — Langston Kerman, (15:02)
• "As a Black man who does like mayonnaise, that was a tough… I like it. I still feel embarrassed." — Carl Tart, (15:07)
• “You have no discernment as an adult, you can’t tell what’s going on. What are you talking about? It tastes like spoiled mayonnaise, it's awful!” — Langston Kerman, (15:37)
• “I’m starting to think Eddie Griffin’s career took a downturn when he fucked around with mayonnaise. Interesting.” — Langston Kerman, (16:24)
• “The Black dollar is strong—if Black people stop buying something…” — Langston Kerman, (17:22)
• “If you eat that, you ain't Black in 1999…” — Langston Kerman, (17:49)

Segment Timestamps

• Soda Nostalgia & Childhood Cookouts: 02:21–11:00
• Snapple & Artificial vs. Real Fruit Flavors: 08:11–10:38
• Mayonnaise Conspiracy & Undercover Brother: 13:57–18:37

Tone & Flow

The episode is loose and playful, with plenty of tangents and affectionate roasting. The hosts and guest share specific regional memories with plenty of in-jokes, but the universal themes—Black food rituals, the power of group shame, and how pop culture shapes taste—shine through. The “conspiratorial” talk is knowingly tongue-in-cheek, delivered with humor and self-awareness, typical of the show’s vibes.

For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This mini episode offers a hilarious and thoughtful stroll through beloved (and cringeworthy) Black food moments—sodas at the cookout, the persistent guilt around mayonnaise post-Undercover Brother, and just how easily personal taste is swayed by movies or in-jokes. The episode is both rich in nostalgia and sharp in its observations of how media and culture entwine around food in the Black community.