Loading summary
Langston Kerman
This is an iHeart podcast.
Janice Torres
Guaranteed human the new chicken bacon ran street chalupa the Taco Bell. You can't get just one. Okay? So that's not like some marketing hyperbole. You literally can't get just one. They come in twos. So, like, if you want just one, you're gonna need to find a friend who loves slow roasted chicken bacon and avocado ranch sauce. Or a friend of a friend. Or have an awkward conversation with a complete stranger to see if they're obsessed with chicken bacon and avocado ranch. Or you could just, like, eat them both because you're obsessed with slow roasted chicken bacon. Okay, you get the idea. The new Chicken Bacon Ranch Street Chalup is a Taco Bell. Participating Taco Bell US Locations for limited time while supplies last.
Bethenny Frankel
Here's the truth no one in pet food wants to say out loud. If it isn't just fresh from just Food for Dogs, it isn't fresh, period. Because a lot of fresh dog foods in those cute little packages, they're not 100% human grade, they're not backed by real science, and they're definitely not something you could eat unless you enjoy mystery meat puree with a side of marketing spin. Just fresh is different. It's real beef, chicken, sand, sweet potatoes, green beans. Actual food you recognize. It's cooked daily in real kitchens. Vets recommend it. Dogs lose their minds for it. And honestly, if your dog could talk, they'd ask you why you ever fed them anything else. New Year, New you. But what about your dog's fresh start? Make the switch. Make it just fresh from Just Food for dogs. Get 50% off your first box at justfoodfordogs.com that's justfood4dogs.com. No code, no fine print, no fake fresh. Just real food.
Langston Kerman
Finally.
Meaningful Beauty Ad Voice
You'Re listening to a podcast, so you're doing something else too. Like maybe scrolling home listings on Redfin, saving places you like without thinking you'll get them. Because that's what house hunting has become. But Redfin isn't built for endless browsing. It's built to help you find and own a home. Redfin agents close twice as many deals as other agents, which means when you find a place you love, you've got a real shot at getting it. Redfin helps turn saved listings into real addresses. Get started@redfin.com. own the dream.
David Bourie
At Lowe's.
Will Ferrell
Get up to 35% off. Select major appliances. Plus members get free delivery, install, and more. When you spend $2,500 on select major appliances. Loads we help you save. Valid through 225 while supplies last.
David Bourie
Selection varies by location.
Will Ferrell
Excludes Massachusetts, Maryland, Wisconsin, New Jersey, Florida. Loyalty program. Subject to terms and conditions. Visit lowe's.com terms for details subject to.
Bethenny Frankel
Change, visit your nearby Lowe's on Colorado street in Kennewick.
Langston Kerman
I just think wings. Take.
Will Ferrell
Bet.
Langston Kerman
Taste better with pussy. And that's in the air.
Will Ferrell
Come on.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, it's just the aesthetic, Will.
Will Ferrell
Yeah, boy.
David Bourie
No, now you're going crazy.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I just think at the end of the. The day, that's the. You gotta combine them both.
David Bourie
It's like a wine pairing, you know? It's like a wine and cheese pairing where you're like, oh, yes. The notes of the subtle buffalo flavor bring out. It brings out the tannins in the pussy.
Will Ferrell
100%.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. I think that's 100% what it is.
Will Ferrell
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
I didn't have the words for it.
David Bourie
No, no, no.
Janice Torres
It's like.
David Bourie
I also think there's, like, an element of the sweat in the air and then a little. Just a dash of desperation on the men's part.
Langston Kerman
And I would say the darkness that. That nice darkness it puts on the wings where you see some titties and then you got to search a little for the wing. It just makes it this romantic sort of experience.
David Bourie
Oh, my God. I mean, man, I remember in San Francisco, they had this place and The Gold Club.
Will Ferrell
Yeah, good. Lunches at the Gold Club. Shout out to. All my people out in San Francisco have not been. But they've told me good things about it.
David Bourie
Oh, man. Shout out to. Got me through some tough times. O the government growing babies.
Will Ferrell
Microchips in your anus.
David Bourie
All koala bears are racist. The ozone layer owes me money. Martians have been in Turkey stuff. Y' all can't tell me nothing. Basketball is my favorite sport. I like the way they dribble up and down the court. Welcome, little mamas and gentiles alike, to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told.
Langston Kerman
Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy.
David Bourie
Theories and we finally work to prove whatever bullshit we feel about talking today. I said about talking, and it doesn't matter. I listen anyways. You little pig.
Langston Kerman
I wasn't gonna correct your sentence at all.
David Bourie
I know. It was just on me. I felt bad.
Langston Kerman
You could feel that that's not the way you wanted to say it.
David Bourie
I immediately. You know what I've been thinking about, though? This is what I came and I wanted to talk about. Yeah, those little robots that they have all over la. I took a walk this morning. I realized I think they make them look so cute and dispatch them in the morning. Cause they want you to think about little kids on their way to school and feel like they're innocuous. Cause I was looking at it and it's just so cute. And it's like it looks like a kid with a big ass backpack and big ass glasses walking to school. And they want you to think that so that you don't understand that's the enemy.
Langston Kerman
So. So that you. You want to protect them. That's.
David Bourie
It was so cute when I was walking, that's all I kept thinking I was like this cute little robot.
Langston Kerman
I want to keep him safe.
David Bourie
Yeah, look at big robot eyes.
Will Ferrell
He got to stop.
David Bourie
He can't walk.
Will Ferrell
He wobbling.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bourie
And that's not. We need ugly robots, bro.
Langston Kerman
I like that.
David Bourie
I think that is like. That's the future is like we need laws that robots have to be.
Langston Kerman
That is crazy that when they start building sort of these humanoid robots and they already, you know, had versions of these things happen. They always make them baddies. They don't never make them some little ugly ghoul. That is probably frankly more common in the human experience than the baddies are.
David Bourie
Doc, I'm telling you, they want you to fuck them. They want you to think they're cute. They want you to try, want to protect. Like they don't want like, bro, if you get a robot that just looks like a manager at a Sally's beauty supply.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bourie
You're not going to. You're not going to feel any way towards it. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Give me that Sam Cassell robot, bro.
Will Ferrell
Damn. Sam Cassell catches crazy already. He ain't doing that. He minding his business.
David Bourie
No, he knows.
Will Ferrell
Sam, don't listen to this episode.
Langston Kerman
I'm not saying anything. He don't know, but I'm sure he knows by now.
Will Ferrell
But he doesn't care. I think he's had time to.
Langston Kerman
No, he's all right. He ain't worried about what I'm talking about. I'm just saying that's what we should be looking at.
David Bourie
We should be looking at. And I do want it known just for the listenership. I like ugly people better. I do think that's cooler. I think it's like a greater distance to travel to be successful, especially in media and entertainment if you are ugly. Wow. I really don't respect really beautiful people that much.
Langston Kerman
Okay.
David Bourie
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
I don't fully disagree with that.
David Bourie
Yeah.
Will Ferrell
Easier life for sure.
David Bourie
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Langston Kerman
I don't, there's no part of me that pushes back on that.
Will Ferrell
No.
David Bourie
Okay.
Will Ferrell
Ugly people don't get privileged.
David Bourie
Ugly people, they get it out of the mud. Every ugly person, bro. You don't really see ugly people in positions of power who were bad at shit. You know what I'm saying? You don't see a lot of ugly ass bosses who don't run the shit out of that star.
Will Ferrell
That's real.
David Bourie
And that's like, I think that's like, admirable. You know what I mean?
Langston Kerman
Wow.
David Bourie
Damn.
Langston Kerman
Elon ugly.
Will Ferrell
Ooh.
David Bourie
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Very effective.
David Bourie
Very effective.
Langston Kerman
Arguably the most ever effective person.
David Bourie
I don't think he's butt ugly, though. I think he's quirky looking. Elon's not butt ugly.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, but he's got a lot, he could get cheeks.
Will Ferrell
A lot of work done.
Langston Kerman
He's like, works really hard to get to this.
David Bourie
That's true. PayPal. Elon is bad looking, I think. Bad hair.
Langston Kerman
I think you're really underestimating how much we, we know for a fact this motherfucker went and like, tried to fix it.
David Bourie
I mean, listen, there's short guys in the NBA, bro. I'm not saying this is like, it's.
Langston Kerman
Not a perfect album.
David Bourie
Yeah. I'm not saying this. Like, people define the odds every day. I'm just saying in general, man, I, I, man, we need to go back. We need to have like, ugly presidents. I think we need, like, we need more ugly people.
Langston Kerman
I don't, I don't disagree with you. I, I Our guest today, you've already heard his voice. He's already been participating in this.
Will Ferrell
I'm enjoying the show.
Langston Kerman
We're not gonna, that's what we don't want it to be. We came here, we came here to have very important conversations, okay? A la this conspiracy you brought to us. And so we're very excited you're here.
David Bourie
He's.
Langston Kerman
He's the goddamn king of what was formerly known as Twitter. You know him from, from his new film, Memes and Nightmares. You know him from, most importantly, no Chill with Gilbert Arenas. He, he's hilarious. He's so talented. Give it up for Josiah Johnson, everybody.
Will Ferrell
Shout out to everybody who watches Gills Arena. Presented by Underdog. Whoop, whoop. Trying to get this bag always. Oh, yeah.
David Bourie
Get it in.
Will Ferrell
Keep the sponsor happy. Get it in every day of the week.
David Bourie
We should start doing that for sponsors. We want. Yeah, yeah. Shout out to dxl, the number one choice in plus size men's clothing.
Langston Kerman
Okay.
Will Ferrell
Very quality clothes.
David Bourie
Yeah. That's good stuff because you're on the tall side, which you already know. We never think about that, to be honest.
Will Ferrell
I'm DXL Coles. Like, I only got, like, three or four places I can stop at.
Langston Kerman
Wow.
David Bourie
It's like, I think being a fat guy in those stores, you start to think the tall guys are a myth.
Will Ferrell
No. Yeah. You got the big section and the tall section. They work together in perfect harmony. Big and tall.
David Bourie
Okay, so you got the T on the end of your shoe.
Will Ferrell
Oh, for sure. Wow.
David Bourie
I thought that. I didn't even know what that was for.
Langston Kerman
You thought they were just doing that to keep y' all comfortable?
David Bourie
I thought it was to make you feel better. You're like, no.
Will Ferrell
Tall guys.
David Bourie
Go.
Will Ferrell
Hit it.
Langston Kerman
Like when somebody call you big man.
Will Ferrell
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Like, come on. There's only one reason you're saying that.
Will Ferrell
Yeah.
David Bourie
It's not tall.
Langston Kerman
That's not cool, because you're just.
Will Ferrell
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
All right.
David Bourie
Anyways, you got a plug? You want to do like you should. We should manifest plugs. I think that's an idea.
Langston Kerman
Do I have a plug?
David Bourie
He's got. You got to have the thing that you want.
Langston Kerman
I feel like, yeah, probably. But then it feels like it gets embarrassing very quickly.
David Bourie
Oh, really? Just be open.
Langston Kerman
Okay. Crunchyroll. I really want you to give us free pass words to country roll so I can watch anime all day.
Will Ferrell
Okay. Ain't nothing wrong with that.
Langston Kerman
See, I knew you wasn't gonna like it.
Will Ferrell
He blew it.
Langston Kerman
I knew you were gonna be mad at me. That's why I didn't want to do it. I knew the only answer I had was honest. It wasn't, like, a good joke, so.
Will Ferrell
No, that was good.
Langston Kerman
Nah, man. I just wan able to watch anime and fucking nerd out all day.
David Bourie
That's good, man.
Langston Kerman
Nice. I'm sorry.
David Bourie
Well, anyways, yeah. You have a aspirational plug. You already got your real.
Will Ferrell
I like basic shit. Snapple.
Langston Kerman
Like, Snapple.
Will Ferrell
Things that are functional, things that I like to use and drink around the house. So Snapple. I'm a big Celsius fan, so shout out Celsius. Taking Celsius every day before the show.
Langston Kerman
In the water, okay?
Will Ferrell
Some of my castmates get mad at me, say it's bad for you. I say, look, I ain't gonna live forever. Come on, let me enjoy. Let me enjoy my day.
Langston Kerman
His heart's gonna explode at exactly 10.
Will Ferrell
Calories, tons of energy. Shout out Celsius.
Langston Kerman
Shout out Celsius. Yeah.
David Bourie
And Crunchyroll.
Will Ferrell
Crunchyroll for the anime.
Langston Kerman
Those. You'd be mad at me.
David Bourie
I'm having a good time.
Langston Kerman
Josiah, you came to us today with a conspiracy that I frankly knew about but had never put a lot of thought into. You know, it's one of those that I think is rumored in such a way. There's like, oh, I don't know how to unpack the truth and not truth from this. But you said that. My mama told me the 1985 NBA Draft was rigged.
Will Ferrell
Let me use the words wisely, because I'm hoping to get credentialed by the NBA someday. They used to call me the king of NBA Twitter. That wasn't very fruitful in actually getting any love from the league. Still having my own tickets. Yeah, they didn't. They didn't. Every. Every time. So we. We put credential requests out, and I'm literally at this point, it's like two or three days a week before the event. So let's say it's all star weekend, summer league. Whatever it is, your credential's been denied. And I'm like, damn. But I see all the people that are there and I know I'm working hard for the league, but I'm. I'm a big NBA fan. I love the league. My dad played in the NBA back in the day. And for me, it's like you look at leagues like the NFL, right? You're the worst team in the NFL. You get the number one pick, as it should be. You have the worst record. You deserve to have it. So the NBA has always had this like ping pong lottery, like as of, you know, I think 80s is when it first started. But they tell this story back in the day. David Stern, obviously, Knicks, you know, Patrick Ewing coming out of Georgetown.
David Bourie
And a New Yorker, David Stern, which is important.
Will Ferrell
And a New Yorker, Patrick Ewing, if I'm not mistaken, is he from New York?
Langston Kerman
He's from Boston.
Will Ferrell
Okay, okay, okay.
Langston Kerman
But then. Then went to New York, if I'm.
David Bourie
Not mistaken, by way of Jamaica.
Will Ferrell
Yeah, he's from Jamaica.
Langston Kerman
He's Jamaican.
Will Ferrell
I'm getting Jamaican, Jamaica, Queens confused. But no, shout, shout out to Patrick Ewing, but number one player in college at that point. So they show the video and if you go through and watch it, they basically like have this big like tumble thing with all the different envelopes in it.
David Bourie
Right.
Will Ferrell
So they spin it a couple of times, but you see them kind of reach in there, feel around. Yeah. And there was always saying the envelope was frozen or it was a Little bit lighter. There was something going on. He just happens to yank it out and hey, I'm not looking, but hey, yank it out of here. The New York Knicks get the number one pick and they end up getting Patrick Ewan, obviously. And you talk about the league that even nowadays with viewership issues and even stuff we saw in contemporary draft lottery times, like the one that was recent, it always seems to work out that way. You got LeBron James coming out of high school, Akron, Ohio. What do you know? Cleveland Cavs get the number one pick.
David Bourie
Derrick Rose as a Denver Perk native. Not a great time for me.
Langston Kerman
Oh, you. You thought you had a shot.
David Bourie
I thought we had a sh. I thought.
Will Ferrell
I was like, man, you get mellow. So shit.
David Bourie
I mean, yeah, it was cool, but, like, I was like, we're getting new jerseys. We're getting LeBron.
Langston Kerman
You know what's crazy? I never thought anyone else had a shot.
David Bourie
I mean. Cause you weren't number two, though.
Langston Kerman
That's fair.
David Bourie
You know what I mean?
Langston Kerman
Right, right, right.
David Bourie
It was. I feel like it was like we were close enough that it was like, no, this could really, really happen.
Langston Kerman
Right. You really believed in the possibility of what this could be.
David Bourie
And then I was like, it's going to be that we're going to have some great colorway that's coming out, too. I was like, the city's going to change. And then they hit us with sky blue.
Will Ferrell
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
That was a bad run, brother.
David Bourie
It was, bro. You know, it's like. It's like the way my heart sank.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bourie
When I saw it.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bourie
And I just like, oh, man, that shit was really upsetting because baby blue is a terrible color, especially for fat guys.
Will Ferrell
It's not. Yeah.
David Bourie
It's not good.
Will Ferrell
It's not flattering.
David Bourie
It's not flattering at all. It's like black.
Will Ferrell
That's it.
David Bourie
Come on. And then it's like you had a jersey that could make a guy like Kenyon Martin not look cool.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, no, it was impressive.
David Bourie
That's work. That's work.
Langston Kerman
They were really trying.
David Bourie
Yeah.
Will Ferrell
Now you gonna watch this.
David Bourie
Oh, man. Man. Shout out.
Will Ferrell
You look cool and everything.
David Bourie
No, he's a top tier Doug to me. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
So you, obviously, you're a kid at this point when.
Will Ferrell
Oh, I'm three years old when this is happening.
Langston Kerman
You're three years old when this is happening.
Will Ferrell
So you're not born in 82, obviously, draft 85.
Langston Kerman
You're not aware that this is happening. At what point does this get on your radar?
Will Ferrell
Well, when you just See over the years how convenient it is even now. 2025, Mavs trade Luka to kick off Black History Month. Bring him to the Lakers. God bless Nico Harrison. Nico gets a lot of heat. The most hated person in the league. They booing him at medieval times.
Langston Kerman
He's got a new meme just eating him alive.
Will Ferrell
He looked like Jafar from Aladdin with the grill look. But so Trey Luca away for seemingly not a ton of return, right? No disrespect to Anthony Davis or Max Christie or one first round draft pick, but we've seen Rudy Gobert go for five, six first round. We saw Mikhail Bridges go to the Knicks for five first rounders like Luka. Generational talent, you know what I mean? All NBA, perennial first team, all NBA. We getting crazy. Max Christie and a first round pick. We thought it was highway robbery.
Langston Kerman
And Anthony Davis, that don't look even close to the Anthony Davies.
Will Ferrell
He gets hurt.
Langston Kerman
Dreamt about.
Will Ferrell
He gets hurt. I think before that came back, got hurt. But then they end up going. They make the play in, win their first game and it's like. And you know, I do a show with Gil and Gil the whole time, like, what the fuck are y' all doing, man? Like, you have a chance to now build through the draft. Like, why would you ever want to go to the playoffs? End up. I think they would have got the AFC and ended up getting swept by the Thunder. You're not going to do anything. So his whole thing, and I agree is like, if you're not gonna win the championship, there's like four or five teams every year that are trying to win a championship. If you're not trying to win a championship, you might as well not tank it, but not just give your best effort. Whatever. Whatever's in between there.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, it feels. It feels crazy that the playoff team got the pick. Yeah, like, not like objectively. That feels nuts where like we historically don't ever see that. Of like, you went to the playoffs and you still get the best one.
David Bourie
That seems. It just doesn't. It's not like a. But it's not like a fair situation.
Will Ferrell
It's some bullshit. I think they were 11th overall of the 14 lottery teams in terms of. I think it was like 1.8% chance of getting that pick. Meanwhile, you got the Hornets, who are trash. You got the Jazz, who are trash. You got the Wizards, who are absolutely trash.
Langston Kerman
Don't forget about the Chicago Bulls. We're always rooting for them, baby.
Will Ferrell
The Bulls got it, man. That giddy shot still haunts me, man, like watching that. We do a work as company playback, so we stream live games. So we're doing that game, going crazy, thinking, the Lakers gonna win. Motherfucker hits a half quarter and it's just like, damn. But the Bulls getting screwed. I think it's the second time, if I'm not mistaken. So I want to say the Bulls and the Mavs had the same record. So it's basically a coin flip to see who got that 11 spot, that 11th spot, ends up getting the number one overall pick. Bulls get kind of screwed out of it. I want to say the second time it happened with them in the Mavs, I think the last time Mavs drafted Luka. So it's kind of, you know, some fucked up shit going on.
David Bourie
Here's my question. I feel like we open it up and we just say it. I feel like we've talked about it a lot on this podcast. How rigged do you think the NBA is? I mean, that's what we're beating around the bush, right?
Will Ferrell
The NBA is entertainment. So NBA, similar to wrestling, entertainment. They don't really classify themselves as a sports league. We do. But I think, you know, when you.
David Bourie
Get to the Nadia, you think they don't classify.
Will Ferrell
I think they do it entertainment because it gives them a little bit more leeway and flexibility in terms of how they operate from behind the scenes.
David Bourie
That's sketchy as fuck.
Will Ferrell
It's entertainment, right? It's there to entertain.
Langston Kerman
That's like lawyer talk. They hired a very powerful lawyer.
Will Ferrell
Their whole crew was all lawyers. David Stern back in the day, like, successful lawyer, I believe, worked for the league before he ended up becoming commissioner. I want to say Adam Silver followed a similar trajectory. Kind of hit the ground.
Langston Kerman
They weren't hooping, I'll tell you that.
Will Ferrell
No jumpers.
David Bourie
No.
Will Ferrell
Come on. Jumpers being shot.
David Bourie
Come on, come on.
Will Ferrell
And for those who know, neither one.
Langston Kerman
Of them boys put a ball on the court. Not once.
Will Ferrell
You talk about behind the scenes shit like, you know, strong army. You know, Gil's got his doc out on Netflix now. Untold Shooting Guards.
David Bourie
We were just watching. I was just talking to him about.
Will Ferrell
It yesterday, and something he said. And I have no problem. I'm telling everybody on your show. But he said repeatedly, it was like, Gil is a loophole expert, right? So Gil should have been a lawyer.
David Bourie
I could really see that.
Will Ferrell
So before he brought guns to the locker room, he researched, all right, what's the longest I can get suspended? It's like, all right, you know, player X brought it in. He got two games. This player shot a gun. He got three games. I was like, shit. The most I'm gonna get is five for doing this.
Langston Kerman
I'm gonna say this.
David Bourie
That's maniacal.
Will Ferrell
But this is how he operates in life.
Langston Kerman
I thought it was more he was just being a silly Billy. He's like, no, I'm gonna make sure.
Will Ferrell
I have Street Dog put into everything. So I'm like, as most I get his five, I'm gonna do it. That's how his mind works.
David Bourie
Even in the doc, he says the reason he felt like he got punished is because they knew he was moving guns around, right?
Will Ferrell
So that's what it ended up becoming. But if you go back to why he initially got suspended, it wasn't cause the guns in the locker room, because they can never prove anything, right? This thing came out, like, a week or two after the fact. It was kind of just going around the locker room. Somebody ended up snitching to the press, and then it went crazy. But that's all these dudes. And you guys know, like, we might have a situation here. We want to fight each other, whatever. Now we're cool. But a week from now, we hear, you know, we've moved on. We passed it, right? Everybody now is like, man, we heard about that shit that went down. It's like, huh? Like, I forgot all about that. Oh, yeah, I did bring guns in the locker room, man. I'm tripping. But you watched it go.
David Bourie
It is not that kind of environment here, though. It would be crazy. It would fuck us up.
Will Ferrell
Oh, it'd be awesome if people. If, like, the energy would be fucking.
David Bourie
Up if Nelson brought two guns and put them on the couch and said, pick one.
Langston Kerman
I'd tell on all y' all niggas immediately.
Will Ferrell
But then you dig deeper. And that's even the situation with Ja. Like, Ja didn't really get jammed up for in the strip club, right? It was more like, well, how'd the gun get there? And. Oh, really? So how did you. How did you.
Langston Kerman
What's the relationship?
Will Ferrell
Did you bring that on on a team? Playing on a team bus? Because now it becomes something deeper. But Gil didn't get suspended for the guns. He got suspended because he was in warmups, fucking around, and he did the. The finger guns. And then David Stern saw that and was like, all right, dog. Like, I'm about to strong arm your ass up.
David Bourie
That is.
Will Ferrell
That is one way or the other.
David Bourie
That is a crazy thing to do, though, bro.
Langston Kerman
I think what makes it nasty, though, is the Fact that they can't prove it. Right. Like, especially with the Josh situation. Because what they told us via the media was that he was bringing the guns into the locker room and onto the plane. But they don't know that for a.
Will Ferrell
Fact unless he says, I did it, which I don't think he's done. But.
Langston Kerman
But the point being, it's not like he got on the plane and was like, hey, y', all, look at my gun.
Will Ferrell
He's in a strip club. Tons of ones on the ground holding a noisy cricket in Colorado, which is, I believe, an open carry state. Okay.
David Bourie
So I was gonna say about the Josh situation.
Will Ferrell
Wrong.
David Bourie
Strip club. You go to Dandy Dan's. That doesn't happen to you, brother. Guns in there. Yeah. You go up off the Federal, they'll let you. Like.
Will Ferrell
It's called Shotgun Willys, though. So, like, he should have been holding the shotgun.
David Bourie
It's like trash. You only go there. They got steak on Tuesdays. That's all they got going. Good.
Will Ferrell
Well, that's not a. That's. Yeah. I love a strip club that bounces as a culinary eatery. Shout out to Magic City. I've got the hot wings. Post made it to me, man.
David Bourie
Honestly, if we're talking about ads, we want Magic City highways.
Langston Kerman
Okay. We're in agreement on this.
David Bourie
That would be a good 100%.
Langston Kerman
We're in agreement.
Will Ferrell
You guys ate them there?
David Bourie
No.
Will Ferrell
Okay. Cause I got it. I was. I was doing some stuff with tnt. I was in Atlanta, got them postmated to the. To the hotel. Was not impressed when I. They were like, baby. I'm like, damn, what's going down? I think they gave me, like, the. The bottom of the barrel win.
David Bourie
You gotta go in.
Will Ferrell
You gotta come in on Monday. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
We need to take a break. But before we do, my question for you, leading, I guess, into this break, is what do you say to the issue of it being Dallas specifically? Because that is not a major market. It's not one that we've ever historically championed. Right. In terms of sinking the money into it. And more importantly, there's not that many incentives to make it good again if you just traded away Luka. So how do we justify that part?
Will Ferrell
I think Dallas still top 10 market, if I'm not mistaken.
David Bourie
That's what I was gonna say, I think. I mean, I don't.
Will Ferrell
It don't sound like it, but, like. Because I thought the same thing. I'm like, yo, like, you know, we kind of look at the Mavs like, they're a small Market team, but top 10. Everything Mark Cuban came over to do. But Mark Cuban ends up selling the team, giving up control of basketball operations to Alderson family, who owns the Sam's Corp, who's heavy in gaming. So the initial rumor was they wanted to bring a casino to the arena. We're salty. That. The state of Texas was kind of hating on that. The legislature wasn't letting it get through. So they're like, all right, well, fuck you. We trading the golden boy now. What? And we're gonna make bread either way. This franchise is gonna be valuable either way. You guys are gonna still come to games. Like we've seen before. Steve Ballmer took over the Clippers. He's done an amazing job. But Donald Sterling, My dad played for the Donald Sterling Clippers. Most embarrassing organization probably in the history of sports. Used to practice at the ymca. Played at the sports arena.
David Bourie
Like, well, hey, now, shout out to the ymca, Big YMCA guy. That's another. That's another sponsor.
Langston Kerman
You were there this morning?
David Bourie
Yeah. No. Well, it was like, man, bro, it was this uber. Was like $28 from your house to the YMCA. I couldn't justify it. I just got 10,000 steps in, came right on back.
Will Ferrell
It makes sense. But ymca, great for common folk like us.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Will Ferrell
Imagine your NBA team now.
David Bourie
Yeah, it's just six, eight Common. We're just three Common dudes over here.
Will Ferrell
We're just three Common. But imagine you're an NBA team practicing and you gotta leave. Cause Pilates class is coming in or whatever the fuck is going on. So we got a bunch of naked Armenian dudes like, yo, you gotta go, dog. It's our time. I don't give a fuck who you are.
David Bourie
He said he's not finished walking off the court. Yeah, they say they're not finished.
Langston Kerman
It's time to play.
David Bourie
Bunch of dudes hooping in jeans, half court.
Will Ferrell
Yeah, for sure. So new. New management group comes in. New ownership group. Ended up making the trade for Luke. And like I said, we heard that trade. Everybody thought it was nuts. Everybody shout all over it. Nico Harrison, myself included. You know, fire, Nico chants, all that stuff. But the Mavs had raised ticket prices after the Luca trade. Wow. Really? So it's like, let me scratch my head here. Some shit's going on now. I'm not. I'm not gonna call the league out. There's been a ton of people in the media who I respect to say, oh, no, this process just happens the way it is. But I think the percentage of the team. Three teams that got it Mav, spurs and Sixers we got the first three picks was like 0.01% of that happening. Obviously much lower than the lottery. But even the Mavs winning, I think is 1.8%. And we talked about this on the show. That'd be like me putting a stack of cards saying, hey, pick the two of diamonds, and you just reaching in. Boop to a dime is like the percentage of that potentially happening. So it's not.
Langston Kerman
That's nuts.
Will Ferrell
Not a word.
David Bourie
The only word that happens is a magic trick. Trickery.
Will Ferrell
It's convenient.
Langston Kerman
It's not 0%, but it's a silly number. Close to 0%.
Will Ferrell
So it's wild shit to see it actually happen. And now then be able to get Cooper Flag. Who's the great American white hope? Luca. European, of course, but one of my favorite Caucasians.
Langston Kerman
It's a designer replacement for that institution.
Will Ferrell
We've got American, Caucasian, Koopa, and Luka Whitey.
David Bourie
I mean, if we have to qualify, I don't know, maybe this is because of the Nuggets thing. I kind of like the European whites better.
Will Ferrell
Shout out Joker. Like the fat, sloppy look, don't look athletic, but come out, we'll cook.
David Bourie
You got those scary brothers running around my city. Even though he's. When he's gone, they just did.
Will Ferrell
They just master. Have you seen them out and about, bro?
David Bourie
I know a girl, I know somebody who lives in their building, and she was like, he's gone. As soon as the season's over, they're just up there.
Will Ferrell
They just chilling. They're just holding it down, making sure ain't nothing going on. Okay.
David Bourie
Just lurking around.
Langston Kerman
I like that, man. I love that. They're like, man, we ain't going back there.
Will Ferrell
We really run this city. Low key. We at the crib, not doing shit. We're fucking with the horses. We holding it down. We representing different.
David Bourie
They are outside in tight, tight T shirts.
Langston Kerman
That's amazing. I love that. Good for them. Good for them. And frankly, good for the Dallas Mavericks. Shout out, Dallas, y' all figured it out. Whatever the game was, you fucking mastered it perfectly. We're gonna take a break. We're gonna come right back with more Josiah Johnson. More. My mama told me.
CarMax Ad Voice
So do you want to start shopping for your next car but don't know where to begin? Start at CarMax, where you can shop your way from start to finish. Whether you're shopping for something practical, adventurous, or luxurious, CarMax puts you in the driver's seat. And if you want to shop cars that fit your budget. CarMax has your back all the way. Simply grab your phone and get pre qualified from your couch, the dog park, or even on a coffee break. It's quick, easy, and has zero impact on your credit score. Want to Explore your options? CarMax has plenty of options. In fact, with over 45,000 cars to choose from, CarMax has rides for almost every budget, including more than 20,000 cars priced under $25,000. From browsing online to checking out cars on the lot, you can shop your way at CarMax. Want to get started on the search for your next car? Start@carmax.com for details and get pre qualified today. Want to drive CarMax?
Tara Davis Woodhull
Hey, this is US Olympic gold medalist Tara Davis Woodhull.
Will Ferrell
And I'm US Paralympic gold medalist Hunter Woodhull.
Tara Davis Woodhull
As athletes, our lives are about having.
Langston Kerman
A clear path and a team that.
Will Ferrell
You can absolutely trust.
Tara Davis Woodhull
So when it came to getting the best mortgage, we chose PennyMac. PennyMac is proud to be the official mortgage provider of Team USA and you.
Langston Kerman
Learn more at pennymac.com pennymac loan services llc/housing lender nmls id 35953 licensed by the Department of Financial Protection and Innovation under the California Residential Mortgage Lending Act. Conditions and restrictions may apply.
Bethenny Frankel (Ad)
This is Bethenny Frankel from Just Be with Bethenny Frankel. It is a new year and everyone is trying to get it together. If we are making a fresh start for ourselves, why wouldn't we make a fresh start for our dogs? Biggie and Smalls are my babies and I love just food for dogs because it is real. It is fresh. It is 100% human grade food. Just food for dogs is the number one vet recommended fresh dog food. Go to justfoodfordogs.com 50% off your first box. You are welcome.
Tara Davis Woodhull
Hi, I'm Cindy Crawford and I'm the founder of Meaningful Beauty. Well I don't know about you but like I never liked being told, oh wow, you look so good for your age. Like why even bother saying that? Why don't you just say you look great at any age? Every age. That's what Meaningful Beauty is all about. We create products that make you feel confident in your skin at the age you are now. Meaningful Beauty. Beautiful skin at every age. Learn more@meaningful beauty.com.
Will Ferrell
We're not going to let Joe Biden and Kamala Harris cut America's meat.
David Bourie
That's dead on that. That's dead on that. And we're not gonna let the NBA continue to rig our league. We love so Much.
Will Ferrell
Keep doing it. I enj.
Langston Kerman
I was gonna say, I don't know if I want the alternative as much as I think I do.
David Bourie
No, I mean, wrestling is as fun as any other thing. Right.
Langston Kerman
And it does create sort of this weird commitment to your teams in a way that actually makes the experience more meaningful, I would say.
David Bourie
Right.
Langston Kerman
You know what I mean? That, like, when I remember as a kid, my favorite team growing up was that Sacramento team that almost did it. You know what I mean?
Will Ferrell
And then we had Bibby and that crew. Paige, come on.
Langston Kerman
It was crazy.
David Bourie
Shout out to team Dime.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, that team was nuts.
Will Ferrell
Team Dime. I got a funny story, actually. Yeah. So this tattoo. So one of my teammates at UCLA was Mike Bibby's cousin, Ryan Walcott, my guy. We still ride together to this day. So they used to have tattoo day, the Bibby family from Phoenix. So I'd happened to roll in during the off season. I think Mike was doing a camp or something. It was tattoo day. So rolled up to the tattoo parlor. Mike Bibby bought me this. This one right here, the Pitch Johnson, which is my last name, official last name. But he was like, yeah, you want to tag? I'm like, hell, yeah, Mike Fat.
David Bourie
Are those characters also saying pitch?
Will Ferrell
No. So I got those when I was 18. No, I get it. But you're a Denver guy, so, you know, Marcus can't be like the big Chinese symbols worth the wave back then. I can't speak a lick of Chinese. Probably one of my biggest regrets in life, but I own it and I wear it like a badge of. It's supposed to say fear. No, man, but my Chinese friends are kind of like, ah, nigga, not this time.
Langston Kerman
If I had to explain the embarrassment on my.
Will Ferrell
It was a cool thing to do in the early 2000s.
Langston Kerman
Ain't no shaming. Tattoo shaming. We don't do that over here.
Will Ferrell
Marcus can't be, though. Marcus can't be. You had the big ass Chinese symbols. You know, niggas had no connection to China whatsoever, bro.
David Bourie
But it was really.
Will Ferrell
China had us in a chokehold, which they still do. So maybe we saw the future.
Langston Kerman
That might be it from tariffs of otipus.
David Bourie
But, I mean, I'm talking about, like, the Cisco era. There was a lot of dragons running around. Yeah, for sure, man.
Langston Kerman
Jackie Chan had a cartoon.
David Bourie
He did the Jackie Chan adventures.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. Y' all remember that?
David Bourie
I do remember that. On channel, on the wb.
Langston Kerman
It was like. It was like the. More like it was like almost anime a little bit. It kind of had like, A more advanced. Is this you?
David Bourie
Are you leveraging for Crunchyroll again?
Langston Kerman
Yeah, Crunchyroll. Howlands if you got that Jackie Chan cartoon, go ahead, let me watch it. I'm trying to watch it for free.
Will Ferrell
Jackie Chan did run shit for a while.
Langston Kerman
Nah, he was going crazy.
David Bourie
I was a big rumble in the Bronx guy. That was my Jackie Chan.
Langston Kerman
I will say, now that we're talking about it, then this is my conspiratorial brain really triggering. I do think they kind of gave Tom Cruise some of Jackie Chan's shit.
David Bourie
Whoa, wait. Expand.
Langston Kerman
I think Jackie Chan really has been a I do my own stunts motherfucker for a long time.
David Bourie
Because he came from like, the circus, right, or something like that?
Langston Kerman
Yes, I think he just came from karate.
Will Ferrell
But he's like a class bad doing.
David Bourie
All that type of shit, man.
Will Ferrell
He's like classic.
David Bourie
He's like, trained in that.
Langston Kerman
But more importantly, he's a dude who's been cooking at that from the moment we met him. Tom Cruise went through like 15 evolutions.
David Bourie
Before he became the idealist, the guy.
Langston Kerman
Who, like, truly did all his own stunts.
David Bourie
Also, Tom Cruise couldn't. He couldn't share a bill with Chris Tucker. That would be a terrible movie.
Langston Kerman
You want to watch that back and forth?
David Bourie
Rush Hour with Tom Cruise and Chris Tucker.
Langston Kerman
No, that's it.
David Bourie
Thanks. Tom Cruise. Cruz just calls him a slur movie over. Chris's like, don't touch my radio. He's like, you godamn. You think I want to listen to cool Modi?
Will Ferrell
Get out of here.
David Bourie
That's hilarious.
Langston Kerman
No, I think they gave Jack. I think Jackie Chan.
Will Ferrell
Tom Cruise said, fuck it, I'm about to just take over. Wouldn't be the first time we've seen it colonized and gentrified.
Langston Kerman
Cause I don't think that Jackie Chan would be opposed to jumping out of a plane. You know what I mean? I don't think he'd be scared to bungee jump off of the fucking waterfall. Whatever.
David Bourie
Here's my question.
Langston Kerman
They just were like, no, we'll fund Tom in all of this.
David Bourie
Here's my question. In true gentrifier status, are the stunts Tom Cruise is doing more difficult than the shit that Jackie chan was doing?
Langston Kerman
100%.
Will Ferrell
You think so?
David Bourie
I mean, the checky shit was like, I don't. I think one could go one way. I don't think the other could go. You know what I'm saying? Jackie was so athletic. I don't think that Jackie. Tom Cruise could do the shit. Yeah, that Jackie Chan is Doing, bro.
Langston Kerman
You're saying that. That it actually is much harder to get legit kicked in the face off of, like, a box towel than it is to, like, have this massive rig that ensures you won't actually ever get hurt. You just have to be brave enough to do the thing.
David Bourie
When he jumped off the shit in Rumble in the Bronx and he broke his foot or whatever, like, I just think that, like, I think the degree of difficulty might have been higher on Jackie Chan for sure. Because Jackie Chan's a proven, like, he's like athletic.
Langston Kerman
He's a martial artist.
David Bourie
It's not like Tom Cruise was like, oh, I was bad athletic. And then I became a movie star. I think he's kind of just a guy.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. Just alone.
Will Ferrell
He trying to stay relevant. Death wish, all this type of thing. No, I really want to die every time this shit happens. I'm disappointed that y' all keep letting me down.
David Bourie
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
And yeah, the church doesn't approve of suicide, so I'll figure it out another way.
Will Ferrell
Do it in a movie.
David Bourie
Damn, that's dark.
Will Ferrell
I'm acting.
David Bourie
That's how he's about to check out Mission Impossible 8.
Will Ferrell
It's too many Mission Impossible. I'll just say that too. Like, shit. At some point, all these missions are possible.
David Bourie
You could do the missions.
Will Ferrell
They're possible.
David Bourie
You did eight of them. You could do it. You redoing it. That's what you do.
Langston Kerman
Boys, I don't disagree with you on a logical sense, but they are strong films.
Will Ferrell
They're good movies. But all these missions are very possible.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, difficult. They're very difficult, but possible.
David Bourie
They should be. Hard ass missions.
Langston Kerman
Hard ass missions.
Will Ferrell
They gotta fuck up one time. We didn't get it done.
Langston Kerman
There's all these conspiracies running around that Michael B. Jordan is about to be the replacement for the Ethan Hunt of the upcoming Mission Impossibles. And I wonder if they're going to make that. Hard ass missions.
David Bourie
Ooh, you know what I mean? When it becomes black people.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. It's just hard ass. Yeah.
David Bourie
This shit tough as hell, y'. All. Oh, y' all gonna do that shit, all right.
Langston Kerman
Couldn't be me. That's what it's gonna be.
Will Ferrell
Yeah, you got it. You got it.
Langston Kerman
Couldn't be me with Michael B. Jordan.
David Bourie
I would rather have a black James Bond than a black Mission Impossible guy.
Will Ferrell
Oh, really?
David Bourie
Yeah, I think it means. I think it means more.
Langston Kerman
Oh, I. I think they're just gonna really be so. You gotta remember British racism when it. They finally do it. It's that peer shit, that's true.
David Bourie
That's uncut.
Will Ferrell
Racism. Y' all is behind the ties here. Like everything else. We ran this way before. Y', all, please.
Langston Kerman
Nah, they. They give you that pure shit. And I don't like how that feels. And I don't want to see that happen to Idris or whoever is like.
Will Ferrell
Yeah, that shit is wild. You guys been out there before?
David Bourie
Yeah, I've only been out there once.
Will Ferrell
Never been out. Like, I'm good.
Langston Kerman
It's actually. You know what's funny? It. It doesn't feel that way when you're like, like amongst them. They feel like a more liberal, frankly, more like welcoming people than we are in America. But on the flip side, I just think when they do get racist, like, look how they reacted to Meghan Markle. That bitch is barely a color. And they were upset when I went over there.
David Bourie
It felt like a boring New York.
Will Ferrell
Really.
David Bourie
Yeah, that's really how it felt. It felt like just like kind of like stuff shuts down earlier. But it is, like ingrained in them to be.
Langston Kerman
I think it's at their root, it's at their core. And that's why their paparazzi is so mean and crazy and shit.
David Bourie
I've always thought about this, about their media, on social media, some level at least within their media, they are better about racial stuff than we are. Whereas, like, you'll watch a British movie, even from like the 90s or something, they'll have a black guy and a white guy be a best friend. And that's not the point of the movie.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, no, that's what I mean is like, they know how to present progressive, right? But when you get to some shit that they really don't want you to do, they turn up.
Will Ferrell
You don't fuck with the Royal Family, man.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, they don't want that bloodline looking like what you offer. No, stop is their response.
Will Ferrell
Shout out to Megan and Harry. Went to, I think, Lakers playoff game a couple years ago.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Will Ferrell
And so I had a little bread at that time. So I was sitting in like B level suites or. Yeah, might have got an A level. I think it was Lakers grizzly. But they were at the game one sweet over. We look over like, oh, they just low key, holding it down.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Will Ferrell
Got their own little security, but with the Lakers, so I had to roll with them. I'm like, all right, you know, that's really all it takes. Whatever going on. Y' all feel put after Lakers game. So I'm rolling with you.
Langston Kerman
It's so Funny. You're willing to forgive the. The roots of racism because they didn't do it.
David Bourie
Harry didn't do it.
Langston Kerman
Harry's cool.
Will Ferrell
Harry didn't want a chance.
David Bourie
Come on, man.
Will Ferrell
He liked it.
Langston Kerman
Harry liked it for a while. Then he stopped liking it.
Will Ferrell
Harry said the family. I see y', all, Larry moving out here, Santa Barbara. We going to pull up the Lakers games. Hold it down.
Langston Kerman
We move different. Y', all. We. Y'.
Will Ferrell
All. Y' all go ahead.
Langston Kerman
Y' all enjoy.
David Bourie
Okay. I'm sorry. Royal family.
Will Ferrell
Yeah.
David Bourie
Like, say, hates the royal. I hate the royal family. I don't like it. I'm saying I like Harry.
Langston Kerman
I'm teasing.
Will Ferrell
I'm teasing.
Langston Kerman
Okay, my next question for you as it relates to this.
Will Ferrell
Are we going back to that? I thought we were. Let's do it. No.
David Bourie
Yeah. We can go wherever.
Langston Kerman
We can go wherever.
Will Ferrell
Nah, let's do it. I like it.
David Bourie
I do want to ask. Yeah, I had a question about it, too.
Langston Kerman
My next question for you is. Do you feel like you've been cheated out of any of the quote unquote rigging? As a Lakers fan?
Will Ferrell
No. Lakers, we haven't had, like, a fuck you trade in a while, actually. I said that. And Luka trade was in February, so maybe. But CP3, I think, was the. One of the few times when the Lakers actually got got. But by and large, for the most.
Langston Kerman
Part, you guys are the favorite.
Will Ferrell
You look at the Gasol trade back in the day, trading for his brother, and Marc Gasol ended up being a great player, but he wasn't shit at that point. He wasn't.
Langston Kerman
And he never became Powell. He just was. He was his own guy.
Will Ferrell
So as much as the league talks about parody and being competitive, at the end of the day, no disrespect to the Nuggets, but even looking at the playoffs right now, the ideal matchup as it stands right now, you want Timberwolves, Knicks, right? You got the Julius Randle cat. Like, yeah, Jokic is a fucking great story, and God bless you, but that and fans got mad at me when it was that Nuggets, he serious. I'm like, the fucking league don't want this shit, brother.
David Bourie
I don't want this shit.
Will Ferrell
People ain't watching it.
David Bourie
I was watching the game with Langston last night, and I was like, you know how hard it is to have your team be the least cool. Good team.
Will Ferrell
Yeah. But a great team nonetheless, though, right? I'm a Westbrook guy. I love Joker. I love that squad.
David Bourie
But, like, as far as, like, Cool guys on a basketball team.
Langston Kerman
Nah, it's tough Pickens over there.
Will Ferrell
All basic humans like Joker literally tell you to your face, this shit is just a job for me. I'll see y' all when I see y' all when it's done. I don't even like doing this shit or being around y'. All.
David Bourie
He wants to race horses on that little cart he's got.
Langston Kerman
I watched the post game interview yesterday with the one where they catch him right at the end, and they were like, asking him, like, yo, you know, how'd you do produce this? And the whole time, he's just looking like this past the lady as he's talking to her. He don't give a. Oh, no. He's like, I am. I am checked out of here.
Will Ferrell
I'm dropping a triple double. I'll see y' all later. I'm going right back to the crib.
Langston Kerman
And when we.
David Bourie
And when we do have cool guys, they don't want to be there.
Langston Kerman
No.
David Bourie
Even for football, it's the same thing. They don't want to be mellow. Wasn't having a great time living in Denver.
Will Ferrell
No, you had a. I like that. I like those. Mellow Cruise. OKMAR jr. I mean, it was.
David Bourie
What a great time. What was it, the 2009 Western Conference finals with you guys? That was like, before I started comedy. And then maybe if I have a child or get married or whatever, that'll also be great. But that was the greatest time of my life. The bench was deep, man. It just felt so good.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, you guys were fun to watch.
David Bourie
We were fun. We were exciting guys.
Langston Kerman
And it was like a bunch of dudes who, like, the year before, were being labeled, like, knuckleheads and misfits.
Will Ferrell
The Nuggets.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. It was like, oh, we. We've given up on these. These terrible youth. And then suddenly it became.
David Bourie
Barack Obama was president. I swear. Like, that Nuggets team Barack Obama and the death of Michael Jackson pushed me to follow my dreams and move to California and start doing comedy. Like, that's how much, like, if that doesn't happen, if that doesn't happen, I am a manager of a call center in Inglewood, Colorado, right now.
Langston Kerman
That's a nasty little crossover of, like.
Will Ferrell
Perfect motivation that happened all in a reasonable timeframe to each other. Yeah, I forgot about that. Also a dui.
David Bourie
But that doesn't matter, bro. It's like, all that stuff. All that stuff came together.
Langston Kerman
No. Cause it's beautiful. Because you had all the motivation for yourself, a la Barack Obama. You had all the personal joy in your life a la the nuggets. And then on top of that, you have all the motivation for. From fear, Allah, Michael Jackson's life being cut short. You can find that profile. Shout out to propofol. We want some of you.
Will Ferrell
That's what I want.
Langston Kerman
I want that PR fall. I need my milk.
Will Ferrell
I need my. I'm like, damn, that milk sound kind of good, but I'm. I don't want to with it. But damn, you know how bad I'm.
Langston Kerman
Trying to go to bed right now.
Will Ferrell
That nigga was sleeping good, though.
Langston Kerman
I got two kids. I can use some rest. Purple Fall, please hook me up.
Will Ferrell
I'd never heard of this shit before that number.
David Bourie
It never came up.
Will Ferrell
If the King of Pop is calling that shit his milk. His milk. I'm sure he was sleeping good as fuck.
Langston Kerman
That boy couldn't go to bed. They said he died multiple times before he actually died. This is the theory is that literally he had died, and they resuscitated him on different days, and he was still like, give me.
David Bourie
Give me my milk.
Will Ferrell
I need my milk.
Langston Kerman
That Michael was already up out of here.
Will Ferrell
He did enough. He accomplished everything he did. He really went, y' all ain't got nothing for me. I can't.
David Bourie
Yeah, what else you knew?
Will Ferrell
Niggas ain't fucking getting on my level.
David Bourie
So how much better was it gonna get for him?
Langston Kerman
Not. It wasn't gonna get better.
David Bourie
That's what I think. That's probably the hard part about being truly great. Yeah, it's something. Being truly, truly great. Is that the back end? It feels like. I mean. Yeah. Even if you have a family or whatever, you're like, I would. That was number one.
Langston Kerman
And we already had done some.
David Bourie
Look at my man crying right there.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. No crying about it. He having a hard time.
Will Ferrell
That's liquor porn. Porn.
Langston Kerman
That's some of the finest tequila made by a man who was drunk.
Will Ferrell
MJ said, I'm not smoking cigars, getting drunk all night. You niggas still. Let me give you 50. What the fuck? I done left, came back. Left, came back, made a movie. You n. Still ain't doing shit, bro. Dog still suck.
David Bourie
He really.
Will Ferrell
I'm a LeBron guy, but when I look at it from that lens.
Langston Kerman
No, but he really lives so high on a level above everyone that there wasn't even. We didn't even debate if there was a better person in the league.
Will Ferrell
Yeah, for sure.
Langston Kerman
Now every. Every fucking week, somebody's claiming LeBron ain't the greatest you know what I mean? Like, he'll spend his life with that. Even, like, as more players, they're going to give it to Wimby so fast.
Will Ferrell
Yeah, but do you know what I mean?
Langston Kerman
Like, that's.
Will Ferrell
Well, we've seen it with Wemby, and that's the whole thing. And this is the point, because somebody asked me early on would I rather go Chet or Wimby. And I said, chet, but they're two big tall dudes. But what we've seen, like the Yao Ming. And just when a dude's that tall. And you hope that Wemby. Because Wemby does everything to take care of his body. I think this blood clot was just some unfortunate shit. But he's gotta be able to sustain. Cause we've seen him when he plays. He's the fucking highest level of hoop that we've ever seen in our life. This is a fucking cheat code. But you a big ass motherfucker. So Yao Ming shit ended because of a toe, Shaq. Fucking toe. You know, you just think about that. My damn toe hurt. I can't fucking. I got to retire a lot of times.
Langston Kerman
Toe.
Will Ferrell
Yeah, that's a big toe.
David Bourie
Big ass toe.
Will Ferrell
And that is the. The base of everything you got cracking. But as shorter Hoopers, like, oh, I'll be good in a couple weeks. Like, these niggas, like, I got. I'll check out.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, Mugsy bounce back, baby.
David Bourie
Hey, come on.
Will Ferrell
Yeah, my shit.
David Bourie
Little like, that's a toe. That's a mugsy toe.
Langston Kerman
You could. You could take it up. I don't know.
Will Ferrell
Yeah, but you hope like you want. I mean, you see the dude when he plays and just how phenomenal he is. Shooting threes, doing everything he's doing. But then it's like, all right. Had to miss this season. Hopefully they bounce back. You know, Pop getting old, having a stroke. His old ass was trying to stick around too long. Just as like, you know, my last kind of thing. I'm gonna give back to the league and get wimpy ready to go. So I can go on and do what I'm doing. But saw Pop at his retirement shit, it was like, Damn, dog, like 76. You can't keep up with these young, these niggas.
Langston Kerman
And you're just standing there. It's not like you're, like, running up and down the court. But there is a level of, like, just keeping logically, keeping up energy, keeping up that you got a match.
Will Ferrell
I would tell everybody, encourage all you guys out there. Like, I do a Show with Gil, we go like two and a half hours live and, like, just sit on the couch, go sit in the gym. Just stand up for two and a half hours walking around and not do that shit every single day and see how much your back hurts, your leg. I coach high school. My shit, my knees and back be hurting. I gotta go take a seat in the big chair for a little bit to, like, juvenile. But he's 76. Having to do that, it's like, come on, man, set it down.
David Bourie
Nah, get it. Get it down.
Langston Kerman
You gotta scowl when he doing it. You'd be mad. That wears on your body.
Will Ferrell
Yeah, for sure.
Langston Kerman
All that, man.
David Bourie
Yeah, it takes less. Nope, I ain't have it.
Langston Kerman
Yep. All right, well, now we both let each other down.
David Bourie
Yeah, man, I'm sorry. You know, it's a give and take relationship. You know.
Langston Kerman
You had the question that you said you wanted to ask.
David Bourie
Oh, I just wanted to ask about the 1985 draft. How ballot manipulation. Like, the idea of it was frozen or it was bent or it was light.
Will Ferrell
You hear the different theories.
David Bourie
Do you feel like that's a real possibility? I also wanted to ask. Cause you said your dad was in the league. Does he have feelings on it as well?
Will Ferrell
Well, he's still employed by the league, so he has no feelings on it. He's just very working with the Milwaukee Bucks. Shout out to Giannis. Hopefully he stays out there. But I'm just like, you can do shit in plain sight, right? Like, you know, I'm a big fan of magic. You see all these magic tricks. Like, it's very easy to do shit and manipulate the eye and do all those type of. So we're giving you. It's like, why do all that? Why not just worst team in the league, it's the number one pick. Why do we go through all this shit, King Kong balls, all these different things, when we want competitive balance, where you had three teams who were literally the fucking worst teams in the league, and neither. None of those three teams got the top three picks in this draft.
David Bourie
Right?
Langston Kerman
Well, what's funny is before 1985, which was sort of the source of us starting this conversation, that. So 1985 is the first official draft lottery, which is why it was a big deal that Patrick Ewing got that before. It was a coin flip between the first and second worst team in the.
Will Ferrell
League, which is how the Lakers get magic. I mean, that's. But that's even silly in itself. It's like, football has it, right? You are the fucking worst team in the NFL. You get the first pick.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bourie
Yeah. And let's keep it recycled.
Will Ferrell
I don't care if you tanked or did whatever the fuck you did. And now it's like the league's trying to punish tankers. So we're trying to punish you losers for losing by making you lose money more.
Langston Kerman
Right.
David Bourie
And that's how you get. You don't get people to come up on top. Right. Like it doesn't. You don't. You can't get new blood that way. Yeah. Unless you got dough.
Langston Kerman
I guess. Well, and that's the argument is that.
David Bourie
And.
Langston Kerman
Well, I guess what makes it more complicated is that if this were rigging just for the sake of narrative, right. At the end of the day, what, what makes wrestling. Enjoying. Enjoy, enjoy.
David Bourie
You got it.
Will Ferrell
We. We know what you're.
Langston Kerman
The reason niggas like wrestling is because racial tension is because they. They ultimately are weaving the story with the intention of just selling you the best story.
Will Ferrell
Right?
Langston Kerman
Right. But the NBA is going, well, I'll sell you the best story that serves financial fucking back end so large that they're almost hard to keep track of.
David Bourie
But it's also.
Langston Kerman
And that makes it kind of whack.
David Bourie
But it's also ultimately because they're serving the best story for the biggest crowd. They're crowdsourcing it still. And I would argue that is the same thing the WWE is. They're just letting the. They don't have to worry about a market. They have to worry about. We bring this wrestler out, what do they think of him? But they're still servicing.
Will Ferrell
So the NBA has to dangle that carrot of small market teams being able to get to the highest level and win championships. But when you talk about a league that's bitching about viewership and whatever, like the Lakers are going to have the worst team in the league. People are going to watch those games. Right. Like the Knicks. Right now you're seeing Knicks, Celtics, that series. And I see it when we do the show every day and people kind of bitch at us like, man, you don't talk about Cavs, you don't talk about Pacers. And it's like when we do talk about it, you motherfuckers don't watch.
David Bourie
Right?
Langston Kerman
Right.
Will Ferrell
So do you want a show? Everybody has opinions on how we should do the show, whatever. But when y' all do it, like, y' all don't talk about these teams either. And it's like, oh, but the Cavs are doing so good. Yeah, but we know the Cavs are going to get packed up. Like, no disrespect to Cleveland. Love you guys. We knew the Cavs are going to get backed up. League's not allowing that. Like, what the fuck do you guys think is going on? Like, right, we got the Celtics and the Knicks both playing high level basketball. You think even the Pacers now they got to deal with that? And by the grace of God, the Pacers are able to get to the finals and more power to them. But you got the Knicks or Celtics coming to town. Like, who do you think we want to get to these finals?
Langston Kerman
So here's. Here's my question to that. How. How daytoday do you think they're actually able to. To present these stories? I guess. You know what I mean? Because.
David Bourie
Oh, like, how much control do they have over the narrative?
Langston Kerman
I always took it to be like, they're just setting it up so that this team is good this year. I didn't think they were setting it up in a way where they're like, all right, Cavs are cooking, but we're going to make sure that they don't get cooked.
Will Ferrell
I mean, sometimes the teams will do that to themselves, but, like, you look at that Knicks, Celtics game. Believe what game five, whatever it was. Jalen Brunson gets five fouls in the third quarter. This is the superstar of this team. But the series is 3:1. Okay. Motherfucker got five fouls in a single quarter, right?
David Bourie
Yeah.
Will Ferrell
That's just not. That's not how it's going down. These refs know what's going on. You're trying to tell me the refs didn't know? Yeah, they're not tripping. Cause Tatum goes down like, shit. We gotta stretch this shit a little bit. A little bit stuck out.
David Bourie
They can't go home.
Will Ferrell
The worries they gonna win a game like, shit, we gotta stretch it a little bit.
Langston Kerman
It's not total manipulation. They're not figuring out the box score. They're saying, like, hey, do what you can.
Will Ferrell
Yeah, exactly. And you still might be able to win with these variables. We're gonna make it a little bit more difficult for you.
David Bourie
Cause that's what they can do. They can adjust factors, right?
Langston Kerman
Yep.
David Bourie
They can, like, adjust little things.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. Take somebody out.
Will Ferrell
Like Halliburton got two fouls in the first quarter. I think they still end winning that game, but it's like, okay. I mean, going down.
Langston Kerman
That's the argument you always see with like the. The. They. They made it a bunch with Draymond in the. In the playoffs this year. Of him just tackling and falling and kicking.
Will Ferrell
Like, Draymond found loopholes, though, because, like, they weren't foul, so they had to be tech. So he had like all together, I want to say like nine or 10 of them. He can get combined before he ends up get suspended. So I can get like three fragrance and five texts and I still got my eight. They were literally all flavor fouls. That's just what me. I'll bing him in the head. It's not a foul on me because the foul's already been called. So I'll just give him a tech instead. All right, we good. He can stay in the game.
David Bourie
That's some five game suspension for bringing a gun. Thinking, yeah.
Will Ferrell
Mastermind. Yeah. And you talk to Gil. And Gil, literally a genie. Because he'll literally explain. He'll tell you guys, like, yo, and I saw, like, I think Telfair had had a situation. He got like two games. And I saw Stephen Jackson, like, shot a gun in front of a strip club, and he might have got three or four. So I'm like, I ain't getting no more than five. This is precedent. But now he comes, you know, thinking he's. He's a genius to David Stern. David Stern's like, fuck you, nigga. Like, yeah, you gonna take these 50 games? I'll let you keep your bread, but you're Gonna take this 50, man.
Langston Kerman
I see why ESPN was scared.
David Bourie
Yes.
Langston Kerman
You know what I mean? It took them a minute and then they were like, I don't know. Because if he think like that, he might say something on camera that we don't. But we can't sponsor anymore.
Will Ferrell
He's fucking. What was it? I think he was like, jokic is like the worst three time MVP ever or some shit.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Will Ferrell
But when you look at the numbers, it's like, well, who's he better than on this list? It's like Larry Bird, LeBron, whatever. It wasn't like a sleight of yogurt, but he knows how to stir the pot and fuck with people. They'll be like, fuck you, idiot. You don't know what you're talking about. Then they go look like, here's the list. Well, man, you know, like, all right, fine, like, whatever. You know what I mean?
Langston Kerman
There's nobody. You would actually put him.
Will Ferrell
You can't put him. You know, you can't put. And that's no disrespect to Joker, but he literally, like, thinks about this shit. And I'll hear him say shit. He. He words it very Specifically, just to fuck with people, just to see. Prove me wrong. But he, when he's on espn, he's in the suit, he's doing what he gotta do so he can balance. And when he gets the Gills arena, it's straight, you know, he's killing it.
Langston Kerman
But I know I didn't scare them.
David Bourie
Yeah, I get it.
Will Ferrell
But yeah, he tells the story like he did, like the jump or whatever it was back in the day. And he's like, all right, what, what, what words can I say on tv? So they give him the list. Here's the words you can't say. He's like, oh, shit, douchebag's not on here. So I'm used that. And then it's like, yeah, yeah, like, come on, dog. Like, man. But I respect that level of petty and diligence to loopholing.
Langston Kerman
Do you when, when this loophole and when all the different sort of like, strategies are in play, do you feel like there's something dangerous in the way that, like, we are now always aware of it before it actually even plays itself out?
Will Ferrell
Well, I think going into this shit, you can make the jokes about Mavs getting the number one pick or whatever, but that shit is so far fetched, you don't think it's going to happen. And then you sit there, watch it happen in real time. You watch the Sixers get the third pick. You talking about a Mavs team that was in the NBA Finals last season, right? Talking about a Mavs team that without injuries to Kyrie and AD would be a top five, top six team in the west this season. So now you're literally telling me a team that has championship level aspirations trades away their franchise guy gets AD in that crew, which is still a very formidable team if they're helping. And now we're gonna add Cooper Flag to it because Kyrie's down for, you know, most of next season and we still need you guys to be competitive. So here, take the number one overall pick.
David Bourie
Yeah, man, it doesn't add up.
Will Ferrell
One of the biggest names. Buzzing. One of the strongest.
Langston Kerman
But then, but then I go. But as a fan, right? If I'm thinking about it more as like a fan of this whole thing, when I really loved wrestling was when I believed in wrestling.
Will Ferrell
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
And now it's this era of wrestling where nobody believes in it. Even kids don't believe in wrestling.
Will Ferrell
Well, kids are assholes now. And they're intelligent. My kids know more than me. Like they can operate an iPad better than me. Like, no, you got to do this like, nigga, you eight years old.
Langston Kerman
I guess I worry that that then takes the enjoyment out of it if I become too self aware inside of the.
Will Ferrell
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Inside of the beast. You know what I mean? Gil scares me, I guess, is what I'm saying, is that he's just gonna expose the whole thing and then I'm gonna be a dum dum who thought Magic was right.
Will Ferrell
But I think we all got to just watch Woodlands. We grew up watching wrestling. We grew up watching all these sports. I grew up watching the NBA. I'd read an article and just take that shit at face value. Now it's like, I saw something the other day about Russ came out in the ESPN article. It's anonymous players. And I was asking the guys on the couch, I'm like, can you generally tell who the snitch in the locker room is? He's like, yeah, just go see the first person she comes up to when she pulls up or who's the nicest on the team when it happens. So imagine you gotta be in a locker room now. You know goddamn well it's one of you two niggas. Right here are the ones who. Who did. Yeah. Who said all this anonymous player in my ass, because I know he not talking to her. He don't with her like, this dude don't mess with her. Like, but she can walk in and who she dapping up? And buddy, Buddy.
David Bourie
I never thought about that.
Will Ferrell
So we used to read these things and like, you watch the Last Dance, and I think it was like Horace Grant, who was the one on that team that was kind of breaking all the information down or whatever. Yeah, we would just take all that at face value. So I would say, oh, if this guy's bad in the locker room, like, you've heard all this stuff about Russ his whole life. Like Russell, UCLA guy. I've known Russell since he was a young pup, like, has all this negativity surrounding him from a fan standpoint, and the media kind of feed into that. But everybody who's played with Russ, by and large, always available, fucking, you know, works his ass off. Fucking sets a good culture in the locker room. But you see a nigga miss a couple layups or shoot a couple shots off the backboard, and you put this narrative out there. He's just like the worst human being ever.
David Bourie
And when he says you, he means me last night.
Will Ferrell
Okay, but that's the Westbrook experience in Langston's living room. Like, that is the Westbrook experience. You'll be ready to choke his ass out. He'll come through, get a big steal, hit a 3, and do some crazy rushes.
David Bourie
That's exactly what happened.
Will Ferrell
But it doesn't stop. Every game is one way or the other. Sometimes you get both within the span of like two minutes.
Langston Kerman
But yeah, he, he really sends you on a journey.
David Bourie
That's true. That's true. And that is entertainment.
Langston Kerman
That's entertainment.
David Bourie
And we got to take a break.
Langston Kerman
We need to take a break. We're going to take one more break and then we're going to do some voicemails. Okay, we'll probably cover one voicemail. We'll be back with more Josiah Johnson or My Mama Told.
CarMax Ad Voice
So do you want to start shopping for your next car, but don't know where to begin? Start at CarMax, where you can shop your way from start to finish. Whether you're shopping for something practical, adventurous or luxurious, CarMax puts you in the driver's seat. And if you want to shop cars that fit your budget, CarMax has your back all the way. Simply grab your first your phone and get pre qualified from your couch, the dog park, or even on a coffee break. It's quick, easy, and has zero impact on your credit score. Want to Explore your options? CarMax has plenty of options. In fact, with over 45,000 cars to choose from, CarMax has rides for almost every budget, including more than 25,000 cars priced under $25,000. From browsing online to checking out car cars on the lot, you can shop your way at CarMax. Want to get started on the search for your next car? Start@carmax.com for details and get pre qualified today. Want to drive CarMax?
Tara Davis Woodhull
Hey, this is US Olympic gold medalist Tara Davis Woodhull.
Will Ferrell
And I'm US Paralympic gold medalist Hunter Woodhull.
Tara Davis Woodhull
As athletes, our lives are about having.
Langston Kerman
A clear path and a team that.
Will Ferrell
You can absolutely trust.
Tara Davis Woodhull
So when it came to getting the best mortgage, we chose PennyMac. PennyMac is proud to be the official mortgage provider of Team USA and you.
Langston Kerman
Learn more at pennymac.com PennyMac Loan Services, LLC. Equal Housing Lender NMLS ID 35953 licensed.
Will Ferrell
By the Department of Financial Protection and.
Langston Kerman
Innovation under the California Residential Mortgage Lending Act. Conditions and restrictions may apply.
Bethenny Frankel (Ad)
This is Bethenny Frankel from Just Be with Bethenny Frankel. It is a new year and everyone is trying to get it together. If we are making a fresh start for ourselves, why wouldn't we make a fresh start for our dogs? Dogs Biggie and Smalls are my babies and I love Just food for dogs because it is real, it is fresh, it is 100% human grade food. Just food for dogs is the number one vet recommended fresh dog food. Go to justfoodfordogs.com 50% off your first box. You are welcome.
Meaningful Beauty Ad Voice
Now I'd like to introduce you to Meaningful Beauty, the famed skincare brand created by iconic super model Cindy Crawford. It's her secret to absolutely gorgeous skin. Meaningful Beauty makes powerful and effective skin care simple and it's loved by millions of women. It's formulated for all ages and all skin tones and types. And it's designed to work as a complete skin care system, leaving your skin feeling soft, smooth and nourished. I recommend starting with Cindy's full regimen which contains all five of her best selling products including the amazing youth activating Melon Serum. This, this next generation serum has the power of melon leaf stem cell technology. It's melon leaf stem cells encapsulated for freshness and released onto the skin to support a visible reduction in the appearance of wrinkles. With thousands of glowing five star reviews, why not give it a try? Subscribe today and you can get the amazing Meaningful beauty system for just $49.95. That includes our introductory five piece system, free gifts, free shipping and a 60 day money back guarantee. All of that available@meaningfulbeauty.com.
Bethenny Frankel
Would you say that you're racist?
Will Ferrell
Not at all.
David Bourie
No.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, look at my dog.
Will Ferrell
He's as black as can be.
David Bourie
Come on, we're back. We're back. As black as could be. Shout out to the dogs.
Langston Kerman
Shout out to them dogs.
Will Ferrell
Colored dog. Real racists. Say negra. They don't say the N word. Damn Negra.
Langston Kerman
They get so racist in Spanish.
Will Ferrell
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's. Wow.
Langston Kerman
We want to do a voicemail with you. Listen to a voicemail from one of our little mamas at home and see what they talking about.
David Bourie
Here we go.
J
Greetings, niggas, niggas, wiggas and wiggets.
Will Ferrell
Nope.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I don't like that.
David Bourie
I don't like that. I don't like that he put that in there.
Langston Kerman
That feels odd that he makes me.
David Bourie
I don't know which side he's on.
Will Ferrell
Wiggers and wig it. He hates all. He hates anything. That's a residue of blackness.
David Bourie
I've also never heard the term wiggette till today. I've seen it. I've seen it.
Langston Kerman
I've seen it for sure. Yeah. White people I think are trying to do a little magic trick with that white word.
David Bourie
Wigger. Oh, like it's not.
Langston Kerman
I think they're trying to make it a bad word.
Will Ferrell
No.
David Bourie
You think so?
Langston Kerman
I think white people are now trying to be like, I shouldn't say that.
David Bourie
They're the ones who say it, and that's. It's their shit.
Langston Kerman
And then I think it becomes this magic trick of it suddenly, like, our responsibility to police some shit that we didn't even make up in the first place.
Will Ferrell
It always goes, now. Now it's DEI is the safe word for.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Will Ferrell
DEI hire was like, damn, everybody that got hired, just. If they. Not a white man. Like, they just were unqualified and uncapable of doing anything.
David Bourie
Yeah, like, everybody doesn't have jobs.
Langston Kerman
No, it's. It's crazy who they'll call a DEI hire where it's like, hey, man, I get it.
Will Ferrell
I get it.
Langston Kerman
You. Whoever's at your work might be upsetting you, but we gotta chill with how we're labeling.
Will Ferrell
Yeah, that's it. Yeah, I see it every day now. I'm just like, wow, man, they really flipped the script. But woke, how that became.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, no, woke.
David Bourie
They went crazy.
Will Ferrell
I don't want any woke here. What does that mean?
David Bourie
They don't know.
Will Ferrell
It means black or not.
Tara Davis Woodhull
Their.
Will Ferrell
It's too woke. Like, huh? What does that mean?
Langston Kerman
Yeah, it's nasty.
Will Ferrell
Define it. Oh, you can't.
Langston Kerman
No, you don't want to talk about that part.
Will Ferrell
All right, fair enough. Cool. I'll just keep doing what I do anyways.
Langston Kerman
Wiggets, wiggettes. Let's find out what they talking about.
J
All right, so check this out, y'. All. My mama told me white people love to see black people flip. Now hear me out. Not just black people, but black boys specifically. All right, now think about this. Anytime you've gone to a basketball game, whether at a big arena where it's college or pro or whatever, they would always have. Mainly college. They would always have some underprivileged groups. Group come in and do flips in front of everybody at halftime. You got skinny doing something. Twist and double axles and all kind of. And I grew up in Tennessee. You know, we had a whole group that did this thing. And the crazy thing about it, it was called Flippo. Bear with me, because it gets dark. Word around the campfire was that Flippo was actually getting these boys booty.
Langston Kerman
Flipo, I believe.
J
Dude went to jail for it, or at least he was charged with it. Know that. You know, you cannot have a. A legit dude trying to get young boys to turn flips for white. White folk. You can't have him doing that and being awesome. You know, he's trying to get those boys.
David Bourie
Some of these guys are just gymnastics coach. You gotta relax.
Will Ferrell
This thing went so many different places. Cause I was rolling with the black man flipping part. Cause I was like, damn, they do have niggas be flipping that games a lot.
Langston Kerman
100%.
Will Ferrell
But then Flippo.
David Bourie
This feels like a personal thing against Flipo.
Langston Kerman
Flippo got crazy.
Will Ferrell
Flippo.
Langston Kerman
This feel like Flippo's worst enemy called and I heard the nigga was fucking them kids.
David Bourie
Yeah. Yeah, bro. That's different than the conspiracy you brought.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, you bring in some personal shit to flip o situation.
Will Ferrell
They call a number and leave this voicemail.
David Bourie
Yeah.
Will Ferrell
Sometimes they can just go as long as they want.
Langston Kerman
They can go like two and a half minutes.
Will Ferrell
Cause that was fucking. He went. He's got a long journey. Okay.
Langston Kerman
He's not done. I will say, on the subject of the little black boys flipping, my former stepfather. I famously have spoken about this. My former stepfather was Benny the Bull one point.
Will Ferrell
Okay, wow.
Langston Kerman
Did not know that he was in fact the most infamous Benny the Bull of all time because he got fired for selling weed after a game to one of the players.
David Bourie
Your hero's journey is so crazy, bro.
Langston Kerman
And. And just to top it all off, he didn't become my stepfather till after all of that.
Will Ferrell
Oh, wow. Wow.
Langston Kerman
Just way, way after we could have benefited from any of his success. Doubt they.
David Bourie
He was in the.
Langston Kerman
They caught him.
David Bourie
He was in. He was in the. He was in the helmet.
Will Ferrell
He was weighing out. 3.5 grams was 3.5. Need to take nothing off of. I know how you dump back in the day. Calling it haters and them were Tony Kochi.
Langston Kerman
Give him a hook up. He gonna take care of his man, Tony.
Will Ferrell
I wonder the player snitch or the team caught him on surveillance camera.
Langston Kerman
Like how I think it was caught on surveillance camera.
Will Ferrell
These are haters, man. Wait, did you. Was that the Nuggets game or the Wolves game when it did yesterday? Dude, do the. He did a.
David Bourie
No, I haven't seen it.
Will Ferrell
It's on Twitter right now, but he's. Boop, boop. Hit it up.
David Bourie
Hey, man, I forget which one of.
Will Ferrell
These NBA games is that, but y' all know I'm be on Twitter all day. I'm just like, damn, that motherfucker is bold. It's either nuggets or timberwolves.
David Bourie
That sounds like something my city would partake in.
Langston Kerman
I feel like it's one of them things where especially as a white person, you go, like, I mean, what are they really gonna do? I. Yeah. You know what?
David Bourie
I mean, what are they gonna. I mean. Yeah, what are they gonna do?
Will Ferrell
And you can't sell weed to the players. Like I'm helping you.
Langston Kerman
No, it's crazy. I genuinely. It's crazy, but also is like, well, you knew what they would do about it. But I bring all that up to say that he was a part of a group called the Jesse White Tumblers, which was the sort of, like, famous group of little black boys that do flips across the city of Chicago.
David Bourie
Okay. It was Flippos. Flippo Chi Town.
Langston Kerman
If niggas are flipping, they are Jesse White Tumblers, and they are.
Will Ferrell
No flipping goes without Jesse White involved.
Langston Kerman
Exactly.
David Bourie
In this city, you flip in this town.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bourie
You give me my kickback. You let me get my beak wet.
Langston Kerman
I heard there's a boy over here who like to flip.
Will Ferrell
Fuck your flipo.
Langston Kerman
Hate for that mattress to get moved.
Will Ferrell
Flippo holding down Tennessee. Damn, man.
David Bourie
I mean, that's a different thing than what we need to be.
Langston Kerman
He's.
David Bourie
He. That's personal.
Langston Kerman
I do believe him about Flippo.
David Bourie
Yeah. He wouldn't have done that.
Will Ferrell
He felt inclined and inspired to leave a voicemail.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Will Ferrell
To give you a whole conspiracy about flipping at games and looking at a little black boy's flip to let you know that Flippo was out there grabbing booties.
Langston Kerman
And I think that maybe that's why that conspiracy was triggering for him.
David Bourie
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Where he's like, no, I've seen the. I've seen the history.
David Bourie
I know how.
Langston Kerman
I know how they're. I know what they have to go through to get. Get here. And if it's just for white entertainment, then that is. There's something malicious happening here.
Will Ferrell
Damn.
J
I mean, think about this. Jordan Childs. She grew up in the hood. She's from Compton, but she's a small lady. She's a gymnast. I know dudes that turned flips that grew up in the hood. They weren't gymnasts. They were victims. So. So what y' all think about that? Every time you see a group of black boys flipping, turning flips for exhibition, it's for white people. They love to see us flip. I hope y' all see titty today.
Will Ferrell
I hope you see titties.
Langston Kerman
That was really nice, man.
David Bourie
My man's. There's a lot going on with him.
Langston Kerman
He really.
Will Ferrell
But the hope that you, myself included, I'm a guessing she'll see titties today.
David Bourie
Yeah.
Will Ferrell
Yeah. Thank you.
David Bourie
No, I do like that.
Will Ferrell
I do like that.
Langston Kerman
That's really nice.
David Bourie
I will say, now that I'm thinking about it, I think that black people flip at a higher percentage than other. Any other rate.
Will Ferrell
Are we more acrobatic?
David Bourie
I don't know. I just feel like I've seen more black men flip than any other race of men.
Langston Kerman
I. I agree with that.
David Bourie
I seen. I never. I. Black men are the only ones that. I've seen fat guys flip that.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bourie
I never seen a fat white. I do a flip.
Will Ferrell
Wow.
Langston Kerman
There's those two Spanish dudes that do that. The two fat that do.
Will Ferrell
He, like, flips his legs.
David Bourie
Oh, yeah.
Langston Kerman
But I'm saying that's as close as I.
Will Ferrell
In the rocket jersey, I wear a rocket shirt. You talk about the.
David Bourie
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
When they're, like, popping and then.
David Bourie
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Trade spaces.
Will Ferrell
That's one of my favorite clips on the Internet.
Langston Kerman
I still don't even know how it works. I just know that one flipped over.
Will Ferrell
The other and then they had to practice that. I don't think that was their first time.
David Bourie
You can't walk.
Will Ferrell
They're like experts at doing that. And they saved that for those moments.
Langston Kerman
They do that every day. Yeah.
David Bourie
You learn to do that in a basement.
Langston Kerman
They wake up, they brush their teeth, they practice a flip, then they have breakfast.
Will Ferrell
That was their moment. That was their moment. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
I do like what he's saying, though, about sort of this being a grander black. The fact that black kids, black men specifically, are not being, like, fed into a gymnastics community does feel sinister in some kind.
David Bourie
My little brother's in gymnastics. But he got that in Europe.
Langston Kerman
Right?
David Bourie
My little brother's like a world. He's pretty good.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. He was like.
David Bourie
He did.
Will Ferrell
He went from world class.
David Bourie
Well, no, he did international competition. He did one intern or one or two international competitions where it's like seven or eight.
Will Ferrell
That's real good.
Langston Kerman
So he is world class.
David Bourie
Yeah, he's world class.
Langston Kerman
You were trying to be protective to not, like, make him suddenly an elite Olympian.
David Bourie
Yeah, I didn't want it to seem like that.
Will Ferrell
Okay.
David Bourie
But he is, like, top.
Will Ferrell
Top tier.
Langston Kerman
Hell, yeah.
David Bourie
But they didn't do that for him in America. He had to move to Europe before that.
Langston Kerman
Okay.
David Bourie
In America, my man was just trying to play soccer and shit.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, yeah. No, I. I think California. I think it's exactly that. I think there's this strange lack of instinct for putting black boys into gymnastic spaces, which is why when there's, like, a black dude on the team, it's like oh. Oh. Where'd that come from? But the whole time they've been telling us we're the most athletic people and we're equipped to win every sport, then why not gymnastics, right?
Will Ferrell
That's fair. That is fair. They said, now, niggas, you just gotta flip a basketball game for the halftime.
David Bourie
Show or in a parking lot.
Will Ferrell
Yeah. That's all you can inspire.
David Bourie
That's where I be seeing that shit happen, dog.
Langston Kerman
The Jesse White Tumblers came out for a three on three tournament. I did when I was in sixth grade. Man, that shit's low. You know what I mean? Like, that wasn't.
Will Ferrell
They did it for the people.
Langston Kerman
I think we were gonna split, like, a $150 check.
Will Ferrell
Flip it for the love.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Will Ferrell
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
They flew. They drove them from the south side.
Will Ferrell
To get to us.
David Bourie
That's a crazy amount of black men. I've seen flip with no formal coaching. They just figured that out. Yeah. Which is brave. Which is brave. You ever just joked around trying to do a flip to figure out you could do that? There's like a level of bravery you have to have even.
Langston Kerman
Yes, it's extremely brave. They don't even have, or they didn't have YouTube to, like, teach them the beginning steps.
David Bourie
They just figured out they could do it.
Langston Kerman
They just jumped off a thing and they were like, I didn't. I didn't die. So, yeah, I think I can do that now.
David Bourie
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
That's crazy.
David Bourie
So I'm. I'm with you. Flippo is maybe your own thing, but I am. I'm against Flipo as well. But I. I'm with your conspiracy theory. I rock with it.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I rock with it. I'm not. I'm not gonna write any letters on behalf or against Flip Flop. I'm staying out of it. But I do believe Flip O is a criminal, and I hope that he's met accountability. All right.
David Bourie
Yeah, I think we did it.
Will Ferrell
Thank y' all so much, man.
Langston Kerman
This was great.
David Bourie
This is so good, bro.
Langston Kerman
Could you tell the people where they can find you what cool stuff?
Will Ferrell
I'm at that stage in my life, I don't want anybody to find me anymore. So I just appreciate y' all letting me pull up.
David Bourie
I get it.
Will Ferrell
They can start finding you and start asking for jobs and shit, and I don't have jobs. I'm barely trying to keep my job. But now you can on. What is it, x now? King Josiah 54. I'm on threads now too. I'm really trying to do some things over at Threads A Little bit more peaceful, less cancer wishes, death threats, kind of a little bit more night. But I also miss.
David Bourie
Feel like it's a lot of robots over there though.
Will Ferrell
But my thing with Threads is like I miss that shit too. I need one or two just to keep me on my toes every once in a while. Cause if it ain't my best shit, like please pack me up, right?
Langston Kerman
Yeah, you really gotta search through the crates on Threads to get the nasty sort of like gutter stuff. And I do. I feel the same way.
Will Ferrell
I miss it a little bit. Like one or two is fine, but just not the plethora of it. But yeah. King Josiah on all social media. Social media king Josiah 54. Excuse me, let me remember because I want King Josiah to get all the love. Yeah, yeah. My 54th in line.
Langston Kerman
54Th in line. But. But number one here today. There we go. And boy, what you got?
David Bourie
Cool guy jokes. 87 on Instagram. Littlefield, Brooklyn, New York June 15. That's the one I'm gonna be. I got some Bay Area dates the week before that. I don't have them in front of me. Littlefield, Brooklyn, New York June 15th.
Langston Kerman
Hell yeah. Follow me at Langston Kerman on all social media platforms. Watch my special. It's called Bad Poetry. It's on Netflix. And most importantly like subscribe rate review. Send us your own thoughts conspiracies. If you have a team that you think got rigged out of the opportunity, send it all to mamapodmail.com we would love to hear from you. And call us at 844-LIL-MAP. We love hearing your sweet voices and your nasty conspiracies. And most importantly, call your mama. Bye bitch. My Mama Told Me is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Player Network.
David Bourie
And I Heart Podcast created and hosted by Langston Kernman, co hosted by David Bourie, executive produced by Will Ferrell Hansani and Olivia Aguilar.
Langston Kerman
Co produced by Bay Wayne Edited and.
David Bourie
Engineered by Justin Kahn.
Langston Kerman
Music by Nick Chambers.
David Bourie
Artwork by Dogon Kriega.
Langston Kerman
You can now watch episodes of My Mama told me on YouTube. Follow at my Mama Told Me and subscribe to our channel.
Bethenny Frankel (Ad)
This is Bethany Frankel from Just Be with Bethany Frankel. It is a new year and everyone is trying to get it together. If we are making a fresh start for ourselves, why wouldn't we make a fresh start for our dogs? Biggie and Smalls are my babies and I love just food for dogs because it is real. It is fresh. It is 100% human grade food. Just food for dogs. Is the number one vet recommended fresh dog food. Go to justfoodfordogs.com 50% off your first box. You are welcome.
Langston Kerman
Janice Torres here and I'm Austin Hankwitz.
Janice Torres
We host the podcast Mind the Business Small Business Success Stories, produced by Ruby.
Langston Kerman
Studio in partnership with Intuit QuickBooks.
Bethenny Frankel (Ad)
We're back for season four to talk.
Langston Kerman
To some incredible small business owners.
Janice Torres
The big thing about working at tech is that it's ever evolving, ever changing. Everyone's a rookie, that's how fast the industry is changing.
Langston Kerman
So what I'm really excited about is.
Will Ferrell
To be part of that change.
Janice Torres
So listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
David Bourie
Honestly, Honestly, Honestly, no one wants to think about hiv, but there are things that everyone can do to help prevent it. Things like prep. Prep stands for Pre Exposure prophylaxis, and it means routinely taking prescription medicine before you're exposed to HIV to help reduce your chances of getting it. Prep can be about 99% effective when taken as prescribed. It doesn't protect against other STIs, though, so be sure to use condoms and other healthy sex practices. Ask a healthcare provider about all your prevention Options and visit findoutaboutprep.com to learn more. Sponsored by Gilead Sometimes all we want.
Tara Davis Woodhull
Is more of the same. Like another round of golf played From a channel with 247 cover fridge, another look at the garden and the deer as they pick their way through it, another Taco Tuesday followed by a Whatever's in the Fridge Wednesday. And to get more of the same, all we need is a little help with adaptable care plans from qualified compassionate caregivers matched to your family's needs. Home Instead can help you and your passions stay home no matter what's on your horizon. Visit home instead online for a better what's next?
Langston Kerman
This is an iHeart podcast.
Meaningful Beauty Ad Voice
Guaranteed Human.
Podcast: My Momma Told Me
Hosts: Langston Kerman & David Gborie
Guest: Josiah Johnson
Date: February 19, 2026
This episode dives into the enduring conspiracy theory that the 1985 NBA Draft was rigged in favor of the New York Knicks, a topic delivered with comedic flair and deep basketball knowledge. Langston, David, and their guest, NBA Twitter legend and meme king Josiah Johnson, unpack the credibility of draft manipulation, the financial and entertainment motives of the league, and the broader idea of how much control big organizations really have over sport outcomes. The show also explores tangential topics including NBA culture, black athleticism and spectacle, loopholes in league discipline, and the crossover between wrestling, entertainment, and sports.
[02:43–09:16]
"We need ugly robots, bro." – David Gborie (05:42)
[11:58–18:54]
"My mama told me the 1985 NBA Draft was rigged." – Josiah Johnson (12:04)
"It always seems to work out that way. You got LeBron James coming out of high school, Akron... Cleveland Cavs get the #1 pick." – Josiah (13:49)
[18:54–21:36]
"NBA is entertainment... I think they do it entertainment because it gives them a little bit more leeway..." – Josiah (19:05) "That's lawyer talk. They hired a very powerful lawyer." – Langston (19:16)
[21:37–23:30]
"Gil is a loophole expert, right?" – Josiah (19:45) "Before he brought guns... he researched: What's the longest I can get suspended?" – Josiah (19:54)
[23:31–26:14]
"That's nuts... not a word. The only word that happens is a magic trick. Trickery." – David (26:06)
[26:15–31:01]
[32:09–56:52]
"How rigged do you think the NBA is?" – David (18:45)
"The NBA is entertainment. Similar to wrestling, entertainment." – Josiah (18:54)
[56:53–59:19]
"When I really loved wrestling was when I believed in wrestling. ...Now it's this era of wrestling where nobody believes in it. Even kids don't believe in wrestling." – Langston (57:02)
[63:12–74:47]
"My former stepfather was Benny the Bull at one point...he was a part of the Jesse White Tumblers, which was the famous group of little black boys that do flips in Chicago." (67:22)
The show is irreverent, profane, and self-aware. Hosts and guests speak candidly, drawing on their own lives and the absurdities of sports fandom. The humor is quick and biting, but insightful—often using black culture, sports history, and personal anecdotes to critique deeper societal patterns.