Neuralink Chips with the Dip (w/ Del Amo Manny)

Summary

Podcast Summary: My Momma Told Me – "Neuralink Chips with the Dip" (w/ Del Amo Manny)

Date: July 14, 2026
Hosts: Langston Kerman & David Gborie
Guest: Del Amo Manny
Podcast Theme: Comedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie explore the rich, entertaining world of Black conspiracy theories, often with a humorous, insightful, and irreverent bent.

---

Episode Overview

This episode features LA comedian Del Amo Manny. The main theme revolves around the conspiracy theory that "they already got Elon Musk"—specifically, that Musk himself is the first human trial of his own Neuralink brain chip. The trio discuss Musk's increasingly erratic behavior, speculate about the cultural and existential implications of biohacking, and riff on everything from Facebook nostalgia to oil men, stepdads, superstitions, and the concept of "Fat Jesus."

---

Key Discussion Points, Insights & Memorable Quotes

1. Juneteenth, Essential Oil Men & Black Community Folklore

• Early Banter (01:45–10:00):
  • The trio joke about their personal connections (or lack thereof) to Juneteenth and describe the “oil man” archetype—Black men selling essential oils or incense out of briefcases or custom trench coats.
  • Notable Quote:

    “If it is a oil man and he is doing his oil man-ness, he’s trying to sell you pussy first... If it’s a lady, it’s about health and wellness.”
    – Langston Kerman (05:03)

  • They discuss trusting health advice from people with dreads and comedic entrepreneurial hustle in Black communities.

2. Social Media Nostalgia and Black Internet Culture

• Facebook’s Cultural Evolution (16:00–21:00):
  • The hosts recall the early innocence and exclusivity of Facebook and the weirdness of interactions like “poking.”
  • Notable Quote:

    "I don’t think Juneteenth was as national as it became. I didn’t grow up with Juneteenth."
    – Langston Kerman (02:17)

  • Banter about the shifting purposes of social media—from connection to marketing engine.

3. Stepdads, Parental Contracts & Black Family Dynamics

• Funny, Real Talk (22:10–25:45):
  • Del Amo Manny confesses he’d make a great stepdad for pragmatic (not sentimental) reasons, sparking jokes about draft-style step-parenting.
  • Notable Quote:

    “Because that’s what makes you scorned. When you have, like, when you’re too emotionally attached, that’s how you become scorned.”
    – Del Amo Manny (23:46)

4. Main Conspiracy: “Elon Musk is Already Chipped”

• Deep Dive (28:31–35:59):
  • Del Amo Manny posits that Musk is Neuralink’s first patient—the “crash test dummy for his own cerebellum” (29:16).
  • They watch a video of a Black man with a Neuralink chip, noting his unnerving, strange affect.
  • Notable Quotes:

    “He’s the person that did Neuralink first and that’s why he’s doing all the weird shit.”
    – Langston Kerman (29:56)
    “There’s no way that dude acted like that before he got the nerve.”
    – Langston Kerman (32:50)

5. Dystopian Tech: Neuralink, Hive Minds & Inevitable Adoption

• Biohacking Anxiety & Predictions (36:00–45:57):
  • The group discusses biohacking’s “slippery slope,” the likelihood of mass adoption through social and peer pressure, and how new tech will probably use adult entertainment as a first driver.
  • Notable Quote:

    “If you chip me and you don’t teach me karate, I’ll kill you. I’m killing everybody.”
    – Langston Kerman (35:13)

  • Parallels drawn to iPhone’s blue-bubble pressure and “first generation chip fun” (43:52).

6. Black Tech, Capitalism, AI, and Society

• Societal Critique (45:59–47:35):
  • Concerns about capitalist motives behind PayPal, Facebook, and AI adoption.
  • Human tendency to “opt-in” to new tech without serious resistance is examined.
  • Notable Quote:

    “If AI just asked nicely, we’d give them the resources.”
    – Del Amo Manny (41:51)

7. Comic Relief: Fat Jesus, Shrimp Conspiracies & Ethnic Food Bans

• Wild Tangents (54:00–65:00):
  • The crew riffs on “Fat Jesus,” shrimp at Black gatherings, and African architectural erasure.
  • Jokes about stepdad dynamics and beach cookouts keep the tone comedic but pointed.

8. Listener Voicemail: Purse Superstition

• Listener Segment (71:08–81:46):
  • A caller’s superstition: putting your purse on the floor means you’ll go broke.
  • They discuss the overlap of superstition and conspiracy in Black culture, connecting etiquette to spiritual beliefs.
  • Notable Quote:

    “Black folklore is conspiracy theory.”
    – Langston Kerman (76:01)

9. Closing Banter & Plugs

• Final Thoughts (81:46–end):
  • Manny shouts out his socials, the crew banters about Nigerian princes and African royal families, and they plug their social media.

---

Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:00–01:44: Ads (skipped)
• 01:45–10:00: Juneteenth, oil men, dreads & community entrepreneurship
• 16:00–21:00: Facebook nostalgia, black internet culture
• 22:10–25:45: Stepdad theory & Black family dynamics
• 28:31–35:59: Main conspiracy – Elon Musk & Neuralink
• 36:00–45:57: Dystopian tech future, biohacking, chip adoption
• 45:59–47:35: Big Tech, AI, capitalism, and human complicity
• 54:00–65:00: Tangents (Fat Jesus, shrimp, African architecture)
• 71:08–81:46: Listener voicemail: purse on the floor superstition
• 81:46–end: Plugs, final banter

---

Notable Moments

• “If you chip me and you don’t teach me karate, I’ll kill you.”
  –Langston Kerman, sharply summarizing the comedic disappointment with the reality of brain implants (35:13)
• “If AI just asked nicely, we’d give them the resources.”
  –Del Amo Manny, on humanity’s complicity in ceding power to machines (41:51)
• “Black folklore is conspiracy theory.”
  –Langston Kerman, on the blurred lines between superstition and theory in Black communities (76:01)

---

Summary Tone & Final Thoughts

The episode is a mix of comedic irreverence, cultural reflection, and genuine skeptical inquiry. The hosts and guest sustain a playful, exuberant energy, peppering honest insights about tech and Black culture with running jokes, good-natured roasting, and heady thought experiments.

For those who haven’t listened, this episode is a hilarious and relevant snapshot of how Black communities process, remix, and joke about the ever-stranger intersection of technology, capitalism, and community lore.

Transcript

[Delamo Manny]

Get business done with the new American

[Langston Kerman]

Express Graphite Business Cash Unlimited card with unlimited 2% cash back on all eligible purchases, unlimited 5% cash back on flights and prepaid hotels booked through American Express Travel Online and a flexible spending capacity that can grow with your business. You'll have the confidence to keep building.

[Delamo Manny]

Apply today and earn a welcome offer

[Langston Kerman]

of $1,500 cash back after you spend $50,000 in qualifying purchases on your new card within the first six months of card membership terms apply. Learn more at Go Amex Graphite.

[David]

This summer Serve up the Cookout Classics Craft mayo and dressing. Toss green salads with delicious ranch dressing or zesty Italian. Serve smooth, craveably creamy potato salads with mayo. We all know it's not a cookout without craft chronic migraine is 15 or

[Langston Kerman]

more headache days a month, each lasting four hours or more.

[David]

Botox Onobachulinum toxin A prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine before they start. It's not for those with 14 or

[Langston Kerman]

fewer headache days a month.

[David]

It prevents on average eight to nine

[Langston Kerman]

headache days a month versus six to seven for placebo.

[Delamo Manny]

Prescription Botox is injected by your doctor. Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection, causing serious symptoms.

[Langston Kerman]

Alert your doctor right away as difficulty

[Delamo Manny]

swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems or muscle weakness can be signs of a life threatening condition. Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk. Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection site pain, fatigue and headache. Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms and dizziness. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions including als, Lou Gehrig's disease, Myasthenia gravis or Lambert Eaton syndrome and medications including botulinum toxins as these

[Langston Kerman]

may increase the risk of serious side effects.

[David]

Why wait?

[Langston Kerman]

Ask your doctor.

[David]

Visit botoxchronicmigraine.com or call 1-800-44-BOTOX to learn more. Do you fuck with Juneteenth?

[Delamo Manny]

Yes. What?

[David]

No. I mean like, but like your whole

[Langston Kerman]

life go into it.

[Delamo Manny]

So I'm gonna be honest, my parents are like African. So like our relationship to slavery and colonialism is a little bit different. So like Juneteen wasn't really on my radar because they wasn't really teaching it at LAUSD when I was coming up.

[David]

Right.

[Delamo Manny]

So it wasn't until I got, you know, in college and like a bit more like conscious.

[David]

Yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

That I started to understand the significance of it. So like. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think Juneteenth was as national as it became. I didn't grow up with Juneteenth.

[David]

I found out about it in eighth grade. Cause this. This dude named Julio moved to our school.

[Langston Kerman]

And Betty was from Texas.

[David]

Okay, this is a crazy thing. Yeah, he was from Atlanta.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[David]

His name was Damascus and he went by Julio.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa.

[Delamo Manny]

That's right.

[David]

It was crazy.

[Delamo Manny]

He was other.

[David]

He was. He was a crazy guy.

[Langston Kerman]

I was gonna say. Is he in prison now?

[David]

I don't know. No, he's a part. He's. He's a. He was in the army and now he's a barber.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. Yeah, he fucks with our shit best case scenario.

[David]

But I remember one summer we were like at a party or something like that, and he had one of those. You've seen those bamboo baseball hats with like the. With. You know what I'm talking about?

[Langston Kerman]

Yes.

[David]

Yeah, the bamboo baseball.

[Langston Kerman]

It was. It was during the rise of the beauty supply store fashion Sync up.

[David]

Yeah. So this is like eighth grade. Yeah, he has one. And I was like. I was like, that looks like a cheap hat I could get. Where'd you get that? And he was like, oh, I got this at Juneteenth in Atlanta. And I was like, oh, I don't even know that. And then he like.

[Langston Kerman]

And then he schooled you to do that?

[David]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And then he sat. He sat a young brother down and taught him a few lessons.

[David]

He was equally young. Yeah, we were 13.

[Langston Kerman]

But spiritually, yeah, you had some growing up to do.

[David]

But I always thought of. I always thought of it as an Atlanta thing because I kind of took

[Langston Kerman]

it and then didn't like retain the essentials.

[David]

Just never really thought about it because there was. You remember, even 10 years ago, there was not like. I mean, if you were really tapped in, there would be Juneteenth events. But it wasn't like, it wasn't crazy. Like, it really was like real low.

[Langston Kerman]

I went to type of event you

[David]

would find an oil man at.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David]

You guys got the. You got the oil man here?

[Langston Kerman]

Absolutely. Y' all got oil men.

[Delamo Manny]

Describe an oil man to me. I believe we do. That sounds like something LA would do.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, I've seen that.

[Delamo Manny]

Could there be blood? I thought you was talking about John D. Rockefeller.

[David]

I was like, he was a magnate of sorts. Self made man for sure.

[Langston Kerman]

In, in, in. I saw them most in New York, but they existed in Chicago.

[David]

We got them in Denver.

[Langston Kerman]

There are men that walk around oftentimes in a long trench coat and and inside of their trench coat, they open it up and they have dozens of essential oils lining their long coat.

[David]

That is how you experience that.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah.

[David]

Or like, or like they got like, they're posted in front of the store and they got like a briefcase with it.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah.

[David]

And then it's like, it's like, you know, claims of some being infused with pheromones to get you more pussy.

[Langston Kerman]

That's right. If it is a oil man and he is doing his oil man ness, he's trying to sell you pussy first. He's telling you this what the ladies like. He's telling you this is going to make you last longer in bed. He's telling you this is going to make your sperm count disappear so that you can bust the nut and you ain't got no threat of getting her pregnant. All of these things are possible with the oil man. If it's a lady. It's about health and wellness.

[David]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's got dreads, which I've realized recently for medical advice outside of doctors, I do look to niggas with dreads the most.

[Langston Kerman]

I have to listen to you more

[David]

like, it's like, like, if you're giving me health advice. Yeah. Dr. Black man or woman with dreads. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

If it's a woman, I'm really listening.

[David]

I feel like you know what you're talking to. Come on. But they might.

[Langston Kerman]

My mom got dreads.

[David]

Okay. She lives in Africa.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I gotta unpack that. Yeah, she be. If she talk, I'm listening.

[David]

She got health opinions.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And there's a part of me that does like, oh, well, my mama said it, so I gotta.

[David]

Do you have anybody in your family with dreads?

[Delamo Manny]

Cousins.

[David]

Okay.

[Delamo Manny]

Nobody like in my, like, nuclear family. Nah.

[David]

Trustworthy cousins? Yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

Fairly trustworthy cousins. Yeah. I go to Leimert park for my dread headed advice, though.

[David]

Okay. That's fair.

[Delamo Manny]

That's where I found my. You get in the car, just pull it to Leimert. No address, just the chamber of commerce post. The chamber of commerce. And I find somebody in dreads and

[Langston Kerman]

address sheets across that city line.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah. And I'm all right.

[Langston Kerman]

As soon as I see a dread headed nigga, I'm on that.

[David]

Tell me about this. Bunions.

[Delamo Manny]

That and the oil man. It's the same person. Usually it's the same.

[David]

It's all. And it's like within that. I've always admired those people because it takes like a level of like, entrepreneurship that I always wished I had, but I don't. You know what I'M saying? Yeah. Like, oh, you really went out and got it. You found a way to pay bills without getting a job. Yeah. That's, like, pretty impressive to me. You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I appreciate now more than ever an entrepreneur who isn't building it off of anything other than vision like that. Even if it's not a good vision. I like that you had a vision and you made it happen. Like, I'm gonna need that trench coat with them little vial pockets, and I'm gonna get this popping. And in some ways, that's more inspiring than any version of, like, the Microsoft story.

[David]

No, because there's work. I'm pretty sure those trench coats are custom. Mm. I don't think they sell them like that.

[Langston Kerman]

Right.

[David]

No, you gotta call somebody or do it yourself.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

Because you gotta get the pockets small enough to fit the vial.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And that's measuring.

[David]

Yeah. And that's even the vials. Where. Where do they get the oils from, bro?

[Langston Kerman]

Like, these are essential. You know what I mean? These are an essential resource. As I understand it.

[David]

We have to have them.

[Langston Kerman]

We have to have them. Which means that our government should want their hands in this. And somehow they skirt. Skirt the government.

[David]

Okay?

[Langston Kerman]

These are our leaders. These are our best.

[David]

This is embarrassing for me to say. I don't know absolutely exactly what essential oils are, brother.

[Langston Kerman]

None of us do.

[David]

Okay, you know what? Now that we busted it open, here's what I've been thinking of a lot.

[Langston Kerman]

Yup.

[David]

On a science level.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah.

[David]

What is incense?

[Langston Kerman]

Okay,

[David]

you're laughing so hard at me

[Langston Kerman]

because I don't have a good answer.

[David]

There's no eggs.

[Langston Kerman]

What is it? I think if I were to guess right, I think it's like it's charcoal that they fuminated or burnt down from other things. Right. That it's.

[David]

So it's like they take, like, I'm from, let's say, limbo wood. Oh, yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

If you've not heard of that, first

[Langston Kerman]

I'm hearing of it.

[David]

It's native, you know, this is exciting. So it's like they take it, they burn it down, and then they spray it. Because that also makes me think in Sierra Leone, you'll see a charcoal man.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

So he'll have like a cart, and it's just pile high with, like, burnt up wood, basically. And he's selling that. But now I'm like, man, we spray that down. Now you're an incident.

[Langston Kerman]

I think that kind of is what it is. I think you spray. I think I've. Now we've experienced it. We now have our air fresheners.

[David]

Oh, that's right. Available for purchase very soon.

[Langston Kerman]

You can purchase air fresheners on our website.

[David]

The website.

[Langston Kerman]

And. And this is the most exciting part of it that we were presented with all these options for smells, which means that they're just taking this air freshener and then spraying it down or like putting fumes into it. Right. It's not like born smelling like whatever the fuck they're smelling like. And we wanted black ice, obviously. The blackest black ice. The blackest of all the scents. Unfortunately, black ice wasn't available. There were no major black choices available. And so then we picked Seahorse, Bro.

[Delamo Manny]

Not having black ice is like not having vanilla ice cream.

[Langston Kerman]

That's right.

[Delamo Manny]

I have black ice in my car right now.

[Langston Kerman]

That's right.

[David]

Of course you.

[Delamo Manny]

Any gas station.

[David]

Of course you do.

[Langston Kerman]

Any respect, man, would.

[David]

I went my sister's shit the other day. She had like three.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

None of them were active. But yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, you got to talk to her about that because that is too much black ice.

[David]

No such.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm going to be honest with you.

[David]

No, listen to what he's saying.

[Langston Kerman]

There's no way. There's no way that the blackest one isn't infused with cancer. Are causing fucking chemicals.

[David]

That's a worry. Like, it's mentholated.

[Langston Kerman]

It's. It's definitely not good for you.

[David]

Yeah, that's a problem.

[Langston Kerman]

You can overdose on black ice. I pray you're being responsible.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah, in doses.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, take it in doses.

[David]

But don't.

[Delamo Manny]

You said y' all got seahorse.

[Langston Kerman]

Seahorse. Which we don't know what that smells like.

[David]

Yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

I was going to say what could that possibly smell?

[Langston Kerman]

I have no idea.

[David]

But I haven't opened one because I don't want to dip into our profits like that.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, same. I'm protecting the bottom line.

[David]

Yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

That's that Oil man account.

[David]

Yeah, exactly. I'm trying to get oil man, I assume is okay money.

[Delamo Manny]

Probably. If they still doing it. They be out there 10, 15 years at a time, bro. I remember watching they don't disappear, bro.

[David]

That's what I'm. I wonder about how much these people like in baby boy.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

When I do this, it makes me feel so much less trustworthy.

[Langston Kerman]

It's not the hands of a trustworthy individual.

[David]

Jody was bad at selling dresses. Or he was good.

[Langston Kerman]

No, he was good at selling dresses.

[David]

He was good at selling dresses. Yeah. What is really. What are you getting off of that? Like. Cause none of these people are giving their money to the government. So we have no idea. The most prolific booster of all time. What do you think they cleared in a year?

[Langston Kerman]

But I think part of what makes it a profession is the ability to flip it. It's not just to do the work. It's to be able to take the work and then flip that into more work.

[David]

Right, right, right.

[Langston Kerman]

So, like, I don't presume that he's making, like, you know, 100 grand selling essential oils, but I think he makes, you know, 15 and knows how to turn that into 35.

[David]

Right?

[Langston Kerman]

Or he's making 15 finesse.

[David]

And then now I'm making 15. I'm getting 65 out this call center, and I sell a little bit of weed.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah, I think you work your way up.

[David]

Right, right, right, right, right, right.

[Langston Kerman]

And then. And now the oil man, because I bet. I bet there's all them little pocke. And if you go cocaine, he got a big pocket at the bottom.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean? I think. I think the oil man knows how to make other things move.

[David]

Because even in our business, right, you can't just do one thing. No, you gotta, like. You gotta diversify.

[Langston Kerman]

If this were diversify. If this were an art of just. Of just saying stuff, we'd be fine.

[David]

Be a rich man. I'm rich in words.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, you gotta be salesmen.

[David]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And unfortun, the oil man, like us, we are the oil man of the podcast industry.

[David]

If I told you I was an oil man, you would agree. Yo, there will be blood, but it's a black oil man. It's the best movie. Same movie.

[Langston Kerman]

Don't change a thing.

[David]

There will be blood orange. I'm gonna make a million dollars.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, see, that's a brilliant idea.

[David]

Y.

[Langston Kerman]

Unfortunately, I don't think Hollywood is knocking down our doors for it.

[David]

Nah, they're not ready for the blood. The oil man.

[Langston Kerman]

No, they're scared of it. Y' all are scared of what we're doing over here. And don't think for a second that me and David aren't clocking it.

[David]

Yeah, we know.

[Langston Kerman]

We know you're scared.

[David]

And we're making a list.

[Langston Kerman]

We're checking it twice.

[David]

Yeah, we got a whole list of people we hate and which ones look like each other. I almost sent a video to you this morning of two people I don't like that look like each other.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, no.

[David]

Yeah, I was.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I want to see it.

[David]

All right, we.

[Langston Kerman]

Is there anything special you want us to intro you with?

[Delamo Manny]

No, just a comic in La.

[David]

Yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

All right.

[Langston Kerman]

And it's Delamo Manny. Got you. I didn't want to get the order wrong.

[Delamo Manny]

Oh, it's all good.

[Langston Kerman]

Because I've heard people call you Manny.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah. I go, manny's my real name. But Delamo, Manny's like just a station.

[Langston Kerman]

I got you.

[David]

Oh, really?

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause I'm from Carson, so I'm just Carson. It's a neighborhood good.

[David]

The Lamo.

[Delamo Manny]

So that was like my username in 8th grade, so I just.

[David]

Oh, yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

So it was already my Instagram when I started doing comedy. So this is going to be the same.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

This is a Kev on stage, sort of.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I share a name with my dad, so I don't want my dad's government name out there if I go.

[Langston Kerman]

But, oh, that's nice of you.

[Delamo Manny]

Hits me up on LinkedIn as. Yeah, civil engineer.

[David]

Like,

[Delamo Manny]

don't ask him about Shelter. So that's what that is.

[Langston Kerman]

That's really respectful. Because I imagine with your following, you get a lot of. You get a lot of feedback from random motherfuckers.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah, mostly. Mostly. Facebook is the spiciest.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[Delamo Manny]

Feedback everywhere else is kind of just like, cool messages.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Generally nice about the shit.

[David]

Yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

Facebook, it was like. The funny thing is Facebook has the least anonymity. There's people, full government names.

[David]

Yeah, yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

Going full clan member. It's like, bro, I wasn't even joking about anything political. Yeah.

[David]

You can see their whole history on full.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I can.

[David]

I see. When your grandma died, dog.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm looking at your son.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

This isn't safe.

[Delamo Manny]

What are you doing? You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

Like, if I'm a psychopath. You are opening yourself up in such a vulnerable way.

[David]

Yeah, man. It makes me feel like I gotta get back over on Facebook.

[Langston Kerman]

I kind of do think it was the most true app for social media. I think so.

[David]

I think more than MySpace, I do.

[Langston Kerman]

I think Facebook was the one that really went like, we are taking kids learning the Internet, and we're consolidating them together and sort of creating a chance to make connections. It, like, had a really human intention in its beginning, and then it blossomed into the violence that it has become today. But, like, I remember the original Facebook being just a college thing and it was sort of like a true. Like, just, oh, this is how I know these people still exist.

[David]

Right.

[Langston Kerman]

And I can connect with them still in a way that had. Had it ended, I would have just. They would have been dead. They'd all be dead. To me.

[David]

Right.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean? Like, they'd all have just been. I'd move on with my life.

[David]

But do you think that it was simpler because they didn't allow the masses in? Because it was. You just had to have a call. Like when Facebook started popp. I remember my friend came home from college and he was like, have you ever heard of Facebook? You have to have a college ID or a college email to get it. And I was like, pssh, that's gay.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah. Or whatever.

[David]

I said.

[Langston Kerman]

And everybody else said, yay.

[David]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Bory's gonna live forever. Yeah, yeah.

[David]

But then I got one. Cause I went to college for a little bit and then I got one.

[Langston Kerman]

Everybody I know who went to college for a little bit eventually got one.

[David]

Yeah. That was kind of one of the big selling points on college at the time.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. It was like, nah. But you could be on Facebook.

[David]

Dumb. I don't know about these classes, particularly Mass comm is maybe not what I had thought it was in the brochure, but I can talk to people.

[Langston Kerman]

I can see what Tiffany's been up to since high school.

[David]

Just dropping by to show your wall some love.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

You ever poke anybody?

[David]

Oh, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I was poking the fuck out of people.

[David]

Yeah. What a hoe ass way to talk to somebody.

[Langston Kerman]

It really sucks.

[Delamo Manny]

It's so hard.

[Langston Kerman]

It really sucks.

[David]

Cause then they poked you back. I still have to message you.

[Langston Kerman]

I still gotta figure out what to say.

[David]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And I actually didn't. I think what never became clear with poking, especially in this like, early iteration, was what it meant.

[Delamo Manny]

For real. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Where like, I could be poking you on some. Like, I like you.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And you like me too.

[David]

Right.

[Langston Kerman]

Or it could be I'm poking you on some like horny shit.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah.

[David]

And are those different things?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I think. I think logically

[David]

got you on your back foot or something.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't want you to call me gay.

[Delamo Manny]

As a feminist, I believe those are separate things.

[Langston Kerman]

I think they're separate things. But I don't want to be all gay about it. I think is.

[David]

But it was like 18 to 22 year olds. It was, it was. I thought it. I thought it was like. I thought it was like.

[Langston Kerman]

I think.

[David]

I thought if I liked you, I would drop by and show your wall some look. Because poking was done behind the scenes.

[Langston Kerman]

I think if.

[David]

Right. Like it was more clandestine.

[Langston Kerman]

I think it fell somewhere into a little bit of a nebulous zone. Because I do remember it not being private originally, I think.

[Delamo Manny]

Oh.

[David]

People could see who you poked.

[Langston Kerman]

I think there was a time in the original Facebook where everything got fed to your wall, right? Like, all your actions and shit.

[Delamo Manny]

Oh, yeah.

[David]

Oh, yeah. It would be like Langston pokes Jamie.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. And like, you could see. I mean, I'm sure there was a way that you could take yours down, but there was a way at one point where it was like sort of a public thing, and in that way was meant to be like a declaration of something. Do you know what I mean? Like, it kind of had a declarative version of it where you ain't doing some 3am hey, what's up?

[David]

Yeah, you go to bed? Yeah. Why are you still up? Police.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey, man, that was a good trick.

[Delamo Manny]

No.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm not gonna besmirch it.

[David]

I'm not like I'm with that. That's where I was doing. But it was like, in hindsight, what a corny. Go to bed. Yeah. I'm your dad.

[Langston Kerman]

Shut the refrigerator. Enough's enough.

[David]

I told you, she's not your real mom, but you have to respect her.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, my God. Yeah, well, Michelle's not comfortable either.

[David]

You think she wanted this? Oh, my God. She's never had kids before. It's an adjustment.

[Langston Kerman]

We're all working together on this.

[David]

Sorry. Them hoes your mother dates let you talk however you want in that house, I think I would be a good scorned father. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

No. If I could find the. If I could actually find the scorned feelings for my children, it would be funny. In that house.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Not for them.

[David]

No. It would be really hard.

[Langston Kerman]

It'd be a nightmare for everybody.

[David]

Complicated.

[Langston Kerman]

But it would be very funny to bring back to the bar. Like, fellas, you ain't gonna believe what kind of piece of shit I was today.

[Delamo Manny]

Oh, man, I feel the opposite.

[David]

Really?

[Delamo Manny]

I feel like I have all the great attributes of a fantastic second husband.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah. I just feel like that's my vibe, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

You got that stepdaddy in you.

[Delamo Manny]

I do. Because, bro, like, see, the thing is, everybody's like, oh, you raised another man's kids, but you get to evaluate another man's kids, actually, and see what you're getting into before.

[Langston Kerman]

Wow.

[Delamo Manny]

You have your own kid. Biologically, he might be into marine biology. You like. But you got a stepchild. It's like, okay, he's 6 foot 4 in the 10th grade. We might go league with this.

[David]

Okay. Now we could take it somewhere.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah. I might start investing. I'm just saying.

[David]

Cause I'm not very tall.

[Delamo Manny]

Uh huh.

[David]

Old boy she was fucking with before was.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

His loss is my game.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah, let me ride this way, bro. You'll get a seat at the draft table, bro. We just Fanbury Draft.

[David]

That's true.

[Delamo Manny]

That could be you, man.

[David]

Who are you gonna think when you put that hat on? Yeah, you remember that part. I'd like to thank the dad that stepped up.

[Langston Kerman]

I can tell you would make a fantastic stepdad because of how little you even addressed the love in the situation. It had nothing to do with love. This nigga saw financial gains.

[David]

It's analytics at this.

[Langston Kerman]

Adjusted those little glasses, and he said, buddy, I'm seeing the cash grab here. Yeah, that's very. No, that's a very stepdad trait.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

In my experience, that is what stepdads are. Are at their best.

[Delamo Manny]

Because that's what makes you scoring. When you have, like, when you too emotionally attached, that's how you become scoring.

[Langston Kerman]

And I do think that that distance is what makes you nimble. That's what makes you. It can make a stepdad very, very fun. You know what I mean? Like, I had a lot of fun. Fair enough. I had a lot of fun with stepdads. As much as I was living in versions of stepdad limbo.

[David]

You had fun with them because they weren't so attached that they would still, like, they could. Like, is it like, oh, you know, Langston ain't my kid. He can have a beard.

[Langston Kerman]

It wasn't quite like having a beard. It felt dark.

[David]

It hung in the air.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. It felt like a very sincere question. I apologize for not making it lighter, faster.

[David]

It's okay.

[Langston Kerman]

I. I think it was less of have a beer, but more of just like, be a human. Whereas, like, I think with your parents, there's a part of you sort of like what we were talking about where you are always subservient. You are always going to. You will reign above me always.

[David]

Yeah. My mom's gonna be my mom forever.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

But stepdad, like, we don't come to some situation where I'm like, hey, Sarah, no, that's like, always.

[Langston Kerman]

That's a Ursula ass contract. Right. But stepdad, that's a handshake agreement, baby.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean? That's a wink and a promise.

[Delamo Manny]

It's a merger.

[David]

Yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

Got paperwork. Doing due diligence.

[David]

Yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

Get auditors involved.

[David]

Yeah, I do.

[Langston Kerman]

So you get to tag along on shit that he ain't gonna necessarily take his, you know, his k. He's not necessarily going to have this conversation in front of his own child. But he, you know, he's not going to treat you bad necessarily. And then some of them will.

[David]

Yeah, that's.

[Langston Kerman]

But. But for the most part, they won't treat you bad.

[David]

Maybe we should start this episode. Yes,

[Langston Kerman]

all koala bears are racist.

[David]

The ozone player owes the money. Murder she Wrote. Murder she Wrote. She wrote, she wrote Murder she Wrote.

[Langston Kerman]

Yep.

[David]

Murder she Wrote. Song about Lexi. Yeah, with like, a bunch of rose.

[Langston Kerman]

That's right.

[David]

Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Sexy. I say I don't know what I know, but yeah, you know songs about abortion.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, there it is. There it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the

[David]

podcast, where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories.

[Langston Kerman]

And we finally were to prove, you guessed it, not a goddamn thing.

[David]

We're here to teach you nothing.

[Langston Kerman]

And that is foundational for us.

[David]

It's really one of the pillars this temple was built on.

[Langston Kerman]

And for those of you that are just joining us who are somehow looking at this situation and thinking to yourself, I want to learn from these men in this apartment, you're mistaken.

[David]

Yeah, you were wrong. You were wrong. You clicked this video. You said, teach me, young man, beneath the velvet titties, for I seek to learn. No, no, no.

[Langston Kerman]

You there with O.J. over your shoulder. Certainly there's something you can tell me about how to be an adult and a functional contributor to society. Unfortunately, no. We are fools, but we are joined today. And I pray to God you're a brighter man than a. I pray to God you have something to offer these people because they do want some healing. They want something.

[David]

They came here broken.

[Langston Kerman]

They came here broken and. And I pray you can fix it for him. He's a stand up. He. He's a LA based comedian. He is a man of note on the Internet. You've seen his videos. You've laughed at his shit. I certainly have laughed at a ton of content that I've seen. I'm so excited that he's here. Give it up for delamo. Manny. Hi. Y. Yeah, man.

[Delamo Manny]

Thank you.

[Langston Kerman]

We'll put in a sound effect afterwards

[David]

to make it feel like something he said that.

[Delamo Manny]

Appreciate you, boys. We probably intro, man.

[David]

Yeah, it was good.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, thanks. Yeah, I tried my best.

[David]

Thank you for coming, man.

[Langston Kerman]

We are very excited that you're here. You came with a bit of, I'll say a dense conspiracy theory that I want to synthesize a little bit and then let you really expound upon, because I think there's a lot of layers and Shit inside of this that I'm really excited to get into. But essentially what I am going to synthesize it to is. My mama told me they already got Elon Musk. Will you tell our sweet listeners at home what that could possibly mean?

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah, the way I see it, Elon Musk is the first customer, or should I say victim, of his own neuro language.

[Langston Kerman]

Man, I like that.

[Delamo Manny]

Like, I think he was his crash test dummy, but instead of a Tesla, it was his cerebellum.

[David]

Yeah, I like that a lot.

[Delamo Manny]

So everybody wants to blame it on like, ketamine. I don't know if we have to censor that, but like, everybody wants to blame it on Special K. Like, if

[Langston Kerman]

we're supposed to, we're not going to. And unfortunately, that will get us assassinated, probably.

[David]

We just found out about monetization this week.

[Delamo Manny]

Okay, good call.

[Langston Kerman]

You know you can make money off this?

[David]

Apparently. We have been doing this for free for years.

[Langston Kerman]

We thought this was a project.

[David]

Yeah, but.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, so he is the person that did Neuralink first and that's why he's doing all the weird shit.

[David]

Yeah. Wow.

[Delamo Manny]

Reverse Yakub situation going on there.

[Langston Kerman]

And you like this?

[David]

Yeah, I mean, he's crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

And he's like a crazy nerd. Dumb guy. Not dumb, but.

[Langston Kerman]

But kinda.

[David]

But it does seem like his behavior has shifted from loser to erratic within the past few years. Yeah, and I like that there's an answer to that, other than ketamine, which is like, also, I don't think something you just get on. No, like, especially if you're a dweeb. Yeah, like, but the neuralink got him all fucked up. Now he's out here trying party drugs. Well, also mental health, whatever you think about.

[Langston Kerman]

And have y'. All. Have y' all seen the. The black Neuralink guy?

[David]

Uh. Oh, no.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, you haven't seen it? No. Oh, can. Can we use your computer real quick? Can we pull up?

[David]

Okay, so I got a situation where only one of my browsers has audio Neuralink, though.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[Delamo Manny]

Isn't that just Yakub? Wasn't he the original Neuralink?

[Langston Kerman]

God, yes, that's the dude. Absolutely.

[Delamo Manny]

Do you have any side effects?

[Langston Kerman]

No, I don't have any side effects. Do you have any? I don't have any.

[Delamo Manny]

Can you feel it?

[Langston Kerman]

I can't feel it.

[David]

Is it?

[Delamo Manny]

I was able to do it and

[David]

then I did it.

[Langston Kerman]

And how long did that take you? That took me about a week.

[David]

And then you went home and. I practiced at home.

[Langston Kerman]

And so what do you think the

[David]

Biggest benefit of this is, the biggest

[Langston Kerman]

benefit is that it's going to help people with spinal cord injuries and people with Parkinson's disease and people with epilepsy and people with depression, anxiety and all these different things.

[Delamo Manny]

I could still move the mouse with my mind.

[David]

Have you seen it? Yeah, I had.

[Delamo Manny]

It's actually pretty cool.

[David]

Is it like a chip?

[Delamo Manny]

It's a small chip, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

So I'm curious about the device itself. You know, the actual. How long did it take you to get used to was a process.

[Delamo Manny]

You know, it took a few months to really get comfortable with it, but now it's just part of me in my head.

[David]

Can you show us?

[Langston Kerman]

Can you show me where?

[David]

Right here.

[Langston Kerman]

You seen it? Now tell me that I'm going to

[Delamo Manny]

be able to do so much more posit.

[Langston Kerman]

Tell me that's not some Elon Musk ass behavior. Do you want to mean like that weird deranged eye contact does look.

[David]

He has those eyes that look frantic even while the speech is calm.

[Langston Kerman]

They're like steady, but in a way that like, it feels like he might maul you.

[David]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

There's something truly erratic in his energy and he's smiling and coming towards you. It feels like the same fucking type of energy. So yeah, this feels real to me too.

[David]

He looked like musk with the flamethrower or like when he tries to tell a comedy joke.

[Langston Kerman]

Yep.

[Delamo Manny]

So unsettling.

[David]

Yeah, yeah. Because something's fucked up worse than it was before. Right.

[Langston Kerman]

There's no way that dude acted like that before he got the nerve.

[David]

No way.

[Delamo Manny]

Nvidia chips tend to do that when you put them in your brain.

[Langston Kerman]

I would think so.

[Delamo Manny]

Imagine you have some personality.

[Langston Kerman]

I haven't tried it, but I imagine it fucks you up a little bit.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah, it just doesn't sound good.

[David]

Here's my question about. And this is. Forgive my ignorance.

[Langston Kerman]

Yep.

[David]

How implanting a chip in the brain, it's not just like you cut it open and stick it in there.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah. What are we connected to?

[David]

Actually, that's what I'm saying.

[Delamo Manny]

You put a WI fi router in there,

[David]

powering it.

[Langston Kerman]

I think the theory is, is that we're. They have created technology to. To be able to merge computer with biology. So like a chip that they are placing inside of your skull, but ultimately they're like linking to tiny neurons inside of your brain.

[David]

They're using my hardware. With their hardware? I guess.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, with their hardware.

[David]

But I use my software.

[Langston Kerman]

Software uploaded onto it that is somehow allowing you to be able to, like, take screenshots with your eyes.

[David]

I hate that.

[Langston Kerman]

And record what's happening around you or, like, get information across your eyelid. You know what I mean? But what's troubling about this dude and the video is that, like, he's not talking about any of that. Like, he's bragging a lot about how awesome this shit is, but he's not telling us what. What the benefit is at all. Because there ain't no benefit.

[David]

Right?

[Langston Kerman]

They just needed to see if this nigga could survive it.

[David]

Cause he's like. He's like, it can fix Parkinson's or spinal cord issues, but, like, what about you in your life? Tell me your bench went up £50.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah.

[David]

You know what I'm saying? Like, tell me how directly.

[Langston Kerman]

Like, you should be saying, beep, boop, beep, boop. And being able to scope how you could get out of this situation. That's when somebody attacks you.

[David]

You should be Matrix. Like, I know karate now.

[Langston Kerman]

Fuck yeah. Oh.

[Delamo Manny]

It literally is the premise of the Matrix.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on, D. Yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

They're using the human biology to power this. Like, eventually to be sentient technology.

[David]

Because that's what. Outside of fixing the body. Right?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

That's what you're using it for. To acquire knowledge that you don't have to work for. I do.

[Langston Kerman]

If you chip me and you don't teach me karate, I'll kill my. I'll kill you. I'm killing everybody.

[David]

100%. This chip goes in. I can't. Dougie.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, come on. What did I do?

[Delamo Manny]

To the point. What's even the point? What are we even doing?

[David]

Okay, so I'll just go to the wedding solo.

[Langston Kerman]

And that's what. And that's what makes it so nasty, is that it's also being created, sort of like coached by these white programmers who have no instinct for even identifying the real landscape of the world. So they might not even program it to know the Dougie exists. The Dougie isn't real to them.

[David]

That would be so bad if I got a New Orleans think to Dougie. And then I show up. Then I show up to the. And I hit the Charleston instead. That's so bad.

[Delamo Manny]

Literally hit the robot.

[Langston Kerman]

You just do that. That rerun dance.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah, that's how.

[David]

Cuz I got the black one.

[Delamo Manny]

You're hitting yourself in the head trying to get. Oh, no, I can. I can dug it.

[David]

I can die.

[Langston Kerman]

No, take me seriously.

[David]

Shouldn't have got this out of a rush card machine.

[Delamo Manny]

I went to the pool earlier today. That's why

[Langston Kerman]

you're asking the lady at the airport. Now, this does teach me to. Dougie, Right?

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I think so.

[Delamo Manny]

At The Denver airport. $17,000. All right.

[Langston Kerman]

This is Hudson News. Man. I don't think you gotta buy it here.

[Delamo Manny]

Hudson News.

[David]

I do. I am excited about the idea of Elon Musk being fucked up. I do also am just curious. Biohacking in general scares the shit out of me.

[Langston Kerman]

It's so.

[David]

Because I think we're further away from it than everybody claims.

[Langston Kerman]

That dude is making it himself. Not only the first tap subject for surviving the neuralink surgery, he also is making himself the first test subject for when they flip it and make you into bio soldiers.

[Delamo Manny]

Right?

[David]

Right. He wants to be a bio soldier.

[Langston Kerman]

I think he's fully willing to be a biosoldier.

[Delamo Manny]

That's the vibe I got too.

[David]

What a foolish. You have all the knowledge of computers and you want to kill dudes.

[Langston Kerman]

I think he's ready to murder on behalf of institutions.

[Delamo Manny]

He's ready to let the tech take over the human socket of them.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

Which I think a lot of these tech billionaires have done. Like, almost like, metaphorically, because you talk about biohacking. I think the dude's name is Brian Johnson, who's like, the guy that wants to, like, look young forever.

[David]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

You know, he was in PayPal with Elon.

[Langston Kerman]

And I did know that the PayPal boys are bombs.

[Delamo Manny]

All this stuff is kind of linked together.

[David]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Peter. Peter Thiel fucking Elon, that dude. The PayPal boys across the board, nasty motherfucker.

[David]

Which makes it crazy that they even came together on Just PayPal, dog.

[Langston Kerman]

It was. Yeah, That's Legion of Doom.

[Delamo Manny]

It should have been way more nefarious than that. They were like, let us get our little lick.

[Langston Kerman]

I actually think PayPal might be one of the most evil products that ever came to be because it really made spending money so fast. Like, it made. It gave you this immediate immediacy in pressing buttons.

[David]

That's true.

[Langston Kerman]

It was like, we don't need checkpoints. We already stored your information. Just click it twice. That is yours.

[David]

PayPal got my face now, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

They make spending money easy in a way that, at the time especially felt like innovation because the Internet was so.

[David]

It felt so dangerous to, like, if you weren't tech savvy back then, it felt so dangerous to buy. Like, I remember putting your card on computer.

[Langston Kerman]

My mom.

[David]

I. I don't think we ever bought shit on the Internet until, like, I don't think I bought shit off the Internet till after high school. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

It was a big deal.

[David]

Like, really, truly. Like, even East Bay. My mom didn'. Yeah, yeah. We're gonna do cod.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I can make those bouncy shoes. Yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

But what you say about PayPal, I think also what you said about Facebook earlier, because, like, Facebook, like, and I guess, like, its purest form felt like, truly for social, but now social media feels like, really is just a marketing engine. That's all it is.

[David]

That's the whole point. That's what I'm. That's the only thing I'm doing on there.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

Like, things that I'm putting into the world is pretty much purely marketing. I don't. I don't interact with it in a personal way like that at all.

[Langston Kerman]

I. I think that is why I work so hard to kind of find really human moments.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I think that is what I'm most attracted to on the Internet.

[David]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Is people who are not necessarily performing, but just have put on a camera and we're existing in the world.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And obviously there is a performance element to it, but it isn't with a sense of, like, oh, this becomes how I get rich. As much as just like, I'm a weird motherfucker with my shirt off and a beret, and I'm just gonna make that happen.

[David]

That is where you pop up on the Internet. I've been seeing you at weird corners lately.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David]

Like, places that I'm not supposed to be.

[Langston Kerman]

Yep.

[David]

You're at.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm finding. I'm finding my sweet spots.

[David]

Sometimes I'm like, God damn, how'd he get here before me?

[Langston Kerman]

Brother, you gotta want it.

[David]

Yeah, I. And I don't know if I do enough.

[Langston Kerman]

You gotta want it.

[David]

Yeah. That's fair.

[Langston Kerman]

My question then is, Manny, what do you think is ultimately going to be? What happens to us as it relates to all of this? If Elon is already chipped, which I think we're all in agreement about, he seems chipped in a motherfucker to me.

[David]

Somebody got him.

[Langston Kerman]

Somebody got him. They're eventually going to make that all of our problem. And what is your response to that? Do you think you can get out of being chipped?

[Delamo Manny]

That's a great question. I think you can't get out of being chipped because, like, I don't know. I was watching the Matrix. Right. I like that movie. Right. And the trope that, like, AI or a, like, greater sentient being is gonna, like, subjugate humanity to use resources. I'm to the point now where I think if AI just asked nicely, we'd give them the resources. Like, AI is not even sentient or like the technology, but we would mow down a whole Utah town to build a data center.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

You know what I mean? So it's like we're just giving it away.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David]

We're really open to it. In a way that upsets me for human. I thought there was gonna be a lot more resistance.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah.

[David]

Like, to your point, it's not sentient and niggas already falling in.

[Delamo Manny]

We're already opting in.

[David]

So people falling in love, it's people's friend already without it even being good at it.

[Langston Kerman]

I think the AI is smart enough to know it doesn't even have to be smarter than us, per se. It's smart enough to know that if it went, hey, you know, I could get you rich, that everybody would. We'd kill each other for it.

[David]

That's what people are trying to do with it.

[Langston Kerman]

That's all it is.

[David]

That's what every.

[Langston Kerman]

You know, there are ent cities whose water has turned brown because of data centers.

[Delamo Manny]

Exactly.

[Langston Kerman]

Because like, they have posted up data centers and now the water just comes out brown. And that's their problem to figure out. And that's the most inhumane shit imaginable. That had to have been born from capitalism and our own stupidity.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah. Because you're not even gonna have to force the chipping. It's gonna be like, to use an analogy, like when you text on an iPhone and you get the green bubble, it's kind of like, ah, it's viscerally kind of jarring. Right. So in order to have that synergy, you're gonna get an iPhone so you could get that blue text. I think that same human psychology is gonna be hijacked to put a chip in you. To put a chip in you. Cause you're gonna see the homie David done memorized everybody's phone number. He doesn't need a phone book anymore or contacts. He just.

[Langston Kerman]

David's doing the Dougie.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah. And like, people are. Yeah, bro, he' dougied like this before.

[David]

If I pop out with the Dougie, no, I've been compromised. Yeah,

[Delamo Manny]

I like that. That's the litmus test for all of technology. Like, it starts with the wheel and we graduate all the way up to people Dougieing on cue.

[Langston Kerman]

What if Trump just hits the Dougie one time and we're like, God, they got him. Yeah, they got him. They got him. He does like shit before. Now he's doing the.

[Delamo Manny]

Dougie. Half the country is chipped.

[David]

That's.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah. The day Trump. Dougies.

[David]

Here's a question I have. Here's that question I have for chips.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

All right. Let's say this is inevitable. Right? We're gonna deal with this no matter what.

[Langston Kerman]

Yep.

[David]

My question is, in the same way that we speak to the golden era of Facebook, is its infancy gonna be kind of a great time for chipfin?

[Langston Kerman]

I think it's gonna be really awesome.

[David]

Like, and depending on the Runway, we might be the age that we hit kind of the sweet spot for chip. I think it's gonna be, like, it's gonna be sleek. There's gonna be less ads.

[Langston Kerman]

I think for those of us that survived the war, that leads us into chips.

[David]

Right.

[Langston Kerman]

We're gonna have a good time.

[David]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I think a lot of us are gonna die.

[David]

Have to.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think chips are going to go down smooth and easy, but I do think that for the surviving 40% great time.

[David]

Right. Because the first little bit, it is probably gonna be incredibly medical, I imagine, before it becomes recreational.

[Langston Kerman]

I think.

[David]

Or maybe. Maybe it just comes out the gate. Like, we can make you jump higher.

[Langston Kerman]

I think if I get to my most cynical, I think that this feels like something where you introduce a biohazard and then you use the chip as a way of solving the problem for the biohazard.

[David]

Can't get Covid 3 if you get the implant.

[Langston Kerman]

And I think if you get enough people to reason with the implant, then eventually you can get everybody. I don't think we're as far off from hive mind as we think we are. That even the ones of us that are, like, most passionate. Most passionately against foundational shit in the government, we still are active participants in everything that the government sort of, like, offers.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Because we. It's so hard to divest from this shit.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Like, it's nearly impossible.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

That we. We still support. You know what I mean? We're still.

[David]

Yeah. You have to be an active participant to be outside you. I mean. Yeah. To sit it out is only for the wealthy.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. And so it becomes.

[David]

With any of these things. Right.

[Langston Kerman]

It becomes a thing where like, if. If enough motherfuckers get it, we all.

[David]

And if enough. If enough people get it. I still got to work, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

You know what I mean? Whatever My job is. If a quarter of the people on chips, dog. I can't compete. I have to work. Yeah. Just to. And that's like, how. And I mean, that's like, isn't that how it works? Even with Instagram and like doing comedy? Right? Like, I don't want to, I didn't start one. I don't want to do that at all. But I have to do it somewhat to just maintain my lifestyle.

[Langston Kerman]

Everybody I, I know with college degrees largely got the college degree because that was how you got a job. You had to have that to have like a serious job. Yeah, that's what they told us was the thinking. I said, no way, let's find out.

[David]

I said, I'll strike out on my own.

[Langston Kerman]

Barely finished high school. Dare me to drive.

[David]

Yeah, I'm an oil man.

[Langston Kerman]

Wagwan. I'm an oil man. You got me an oil man.

[David]

This is so terrifying. The only highlight I think is that in the initial onset of the chip is the idea of it's going to be fun for a second.

[Langston Kerman]

It will be fun for a second.

[David]

It'll be like a bunch of people out here operating at peak capacity in whatever way they want.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

What's the first thing you want to do when you get chipped?

[Delamo Manny]

Oh, that's a great question, bro. Yeah, you know, it's so funny with technology. I think the first line of like, how popular is going to be is like the adult film industry. It's, that's like when we first got the Internet, we weren't like sending emails to grandma. People were like, bro, I got to see Lisa Ann or something.

[David]

That's how DVDs popped off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Don't you just want some porno playing in your eyes? You horny as hell, bro?

[Delamo Manny]

In reality, if I have to be chipped, if I have to be chipped, if I absolutely have to, I'm gonna have a great time.

[Langston Kerman]

You wanna be at your desk at work, Just God damn.

[Delamo Manny]

You probably have the blocker at work, like on your work laptop. They probably have it.

[Langston Kerman]

You don't tread on my chip, you know that? You don't tread on.

[Delamo Manny]

Get out of my head.

[David]

They're gonna have daily chip downloads. Yeah. You're gonna have to bang your head against this shit before you leave so they can see what you thought.

[Langston Kerman]

That's true.

[Delamo Manny]

You're right.

[David]

And in that way, like sexual harassment is gonna go through the roof.

[Langston Kerman]

Fuck, man, there's gonna be so many pop ups on chips if you can't afford it. Yeah.

[David]

The base level chip.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

It's gonna be pop up crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

It's gonna be like YouTube.

[Delamo Manny]

Well, it's gonna be a premium incognito mode.

[Langston Kerman]

Uh huh.

[Delamo Manny]

That you have to pay for. You're gonna have to pay for Escape to disable it for a certain time period.

[David]

Yeah. Oh, that's scary. The idea.

[Delamo Manny]

Escape is gonna be the new product.

[Langston Kerman]

Fuck. So you were like, no, I gotta get my porno in right away. Yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

For a good two years until.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You're treating it like early generation 4 Loko. Drink as many as you can. They're not gonna let us do this forever.

[Delamo Manny]

They're not gonna let us.

[David]

And that is how I behaved with that.

[Langston Kerman]

I think everybody understood that this was. This was wrong.

[David]

This is a limited time.

[Langston Kerman]

This is a sin. We shouldn't be doing this.

[David]

Yes. Anything that is colored in unnatural camouflage will not be good for you when

[Langston Kerman]

it comes out the same color as the can run.

[David]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

It's supposed to be a little lighter, at least.

[David]

Yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

That's why I trusted the White Claw. Cause it came out clear. Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

You promised me this would be.

[Delamo Manny]

That's not a fun color. Cool.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

All right. Yeah. This is pure.

[Delamo Manny]

4 Loko was pink and green at the same time.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

That's crazy.

[David]

And it tasted that.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it tasted pink. You tasted pink and you tasted green. So porno. You're doing the. Dougie.

[David]

I think I would. Yeah. I would want it to accomplish physical feats that I didn't think I could get to on my own.

[Langston Kerman]

So not.

[David]

Dougie is not the extent of it. That's just, like, the first one. For comedy purposes. I would love to be like things I don't think I could get to. Like, if I could just chip up and then surf.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

Oh, nice.

[David]

That would be like. Shit like that.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, Like.

[David]

Or if you were like, hey, we're old now in this one, you're like, hey, David, let's go hoop. And I'm like, yeah, I'm great at defense.

[Langston Kerman]

I wait.

[David]

I take that back. I hate that defense was what I said in my.

[Delamo Manny]

That sucks.

[David]

That was so.

[Delamo Manny]

In your fantasy, still a role player?

[David]

Yeah, pretty defensively. That was a. That was.

[Delamo Manny]

I would die for loose balls.

[David]

Yeah, that was crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

Now I slap the floor when you're coming back down. Rec league, too.

[David]

I want to go to the park to be a defensive hero. That was nasty.

[Langston Kerman]

No, his hands were straight up. He's great at defense.

[David]

Man. That's. That goddamn Luigi talk.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. No, you gotta get that out of your head.

[David]

Yeah, I've been thinking about that. The other day, we were at a children's place, and we were playing Mario Kart.

[Delamo Manny]

Questions?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. You didn't have to say it the way you just said at it.

[David]

Where were we?

[Langston Kerman]

We went to the batting cages, which was very fun and surrounded by other men who also didn't have stuff to do with their day. And we swung bats, and then we went into a connecting arcade is what happened. We didn't go to a children's place to hang out the way that you made it seem sound.

[Delamo Manny]

There's a guy on that who has the same excuse, and. But they're actually innocent. They were the one guy who, like, literally, I did go there for the bat engagement.

[Langston Kerman]

That is. That is our position on Chris Tucker on this podcast.

[David]

Oh, that.

[Delamo Manny]

That.

[David]

We believe that Chris wanted a vacation.

[Langston Kerman]

Chris Tucker was there. He was. He was eating shrimp. He was drinking wine, and he was alone on the beach more than he thought he was going to.

[David]

He wanted to parasail.

[Langston Kerman]

And. And nobody was there with him. He kept. He kept going. Big Bill.

[Delamo Manny]

Bill.

[Langston Kerman]

Jeffrey. Jeffrey. Where y' all at, man? Damn, this is fun, man. They missing out. Look at these adult bitches.

[Delamo Manny]

Probably did that at Michael Jackson's house, too. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I think he was always just having a great time with free shrimp. And. And somehow. And maybe. Maybe we need to really assess. I think. I think a smarter man than me should look up the connection between shrimp sales and evil devils. I think they're buying a lot of shrimp, and I think that. That then collects a lot of hangers on. Shrimp is the easiest food to hang onto. And then you suddenly are getting connected with bad, bad motherfuckers. Whoa. Who have just bought a lot of shrimp.

[Delamo Manny]

Did you notice when Red Lobster got the black CEO?

[Langston Kerman]

Yep.

[Delamo Manny]

Walmart started selling that radioactive shrimp.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on.

[Delamo Manny]

A lot of people try to sweep that story under the rug, but I pieced it.

[Langston Kerman]

They don't want Red Lobster.

[Delamo Manny]

Come on, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

They don't want to see that black woman like that.

[Delamo Manny]

There's something to that, man.

[Langston Kerman]

Shrimp might be the gateway drug to some evil shit.

[David]

Damn, that sucks. Because I buy a lot of shrimp, and I've noticed. All right, relax.

[Langston Kerman]

Don't think I haven't been keeping my eye on you.

[David]

That's crazy what you're doing. That's crazy. I just like a good deal.

[Langston Kerman]

This man brought shrimp cocktail to the beach, and I said, okay, that's not.

[David]

That's more people shit. It's from the ocean.

[Langston Kerman]

And listen, I'm bringing it home.

[Delamo Manny]

I do love the shirt.

[Langston Kerman]

I cracked it open and I said to myself that he's brilliant.

[David]

We had a great time with the shrimp and the two Types of chicken I brought to the beach. That didn't get discussed.

[Langston Kerman]

You went crazy. You showed up with the best display I've seen in a minute.

[David]

I got a good beach spread.

[Langston Kerman]

I was very impressed with your work. That said, shrimp is a dangerous game.

[David]

I had more chicken than shrimp.

[Langston Kerman]

Absolutely, you did.

[Delamo Manny]

I've never seen a charcuterie board that was all protein.

[David]

Oh, oh, oh, You're.

[Delamo Manny]

This is what I'm imagining.

[David]

You're assuming a presentation. Yes.

[Delamo Manny]

You said it's a nice spread.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, spread, Spread.

[David]

He means I had a bunch of good shit in a cooler.

[Delamo Manny]

Okay. Yeah, you just had slabs.

[Langston Kerman]

The presentation was dark.

[David]

It was fine.

[Langston Kerman]

He threw bags of chicken on the ground and said to my children, eat up, kids.

[David]

And everybody took some.

[Langston Kerman]

And my poor infant son, he dug into the bag. He scarfed. He scarfed chicken as fast as he could because he was so afraid of David.

[Delamo Manny]

That's hilarious.

[Langston Kerman]

He says, I like her, as he refuses.

[David]

Yeah, he thinks I'm a woman.

[Delamo Manny]

Oh, interesting.

[David]

Well, she'll have to unpack at some point.

[Langston Kerman]

He thinks everybody's a woman. That's not personal to me.

[David]

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

[Langston Kerman]

But, yeah, he likes David, but he. I think it's because David fed him chicken like a dog.

[David]

That's good. I don't feed dog. I don't feed chicken to my dog. And I. I think the bones are bad for them. Yeah, they splinter.

[Delamo Manny]

Bones are also bad for us.

[David]

Yeah. I get down on some marrows sometimes more than.

[Delamo Manny]

I'm so African for that dog.

[Langston Kerman]

It is.

[David]

It is like one of my. More African.

[Delamo Manny]

It's aggressively African. And I. I'm also guilty.

[David]

Oh, my man.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah, that bone is clean when I'm bone.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, we're gonna take a break and get these niggas some bones for them to nibble on. We'll be back. More, Manny.

[Delamo Manny]

More.

[Langston Kerman]

My mama told me this summer.

[David]

Say I do. I am marrying a stranger like never before. Am I crazy? It's a whole new Married at First sight on Peacock with new experts.

[Langston Kerman]

My name is Dr. Lisa.

[Delamo Manny]

My name is Paul Brunson.

[Langston Kerman]

More couples. This could be the start of a very successful marriage. And, Lord, surprises. Or maybe not everything is just not enough. You're a little bit crazy. I don't know what's gonna happen.

[David]

I want my fairytale ending. Married at First Sight now streaming new episodes Thursdays only on Peacock.

[Langston Kerman]

This summer, Prime Video takes you back

[David]

before Legally Blonde, before law school, and

[Langston Kerman]

into the world of Elle woods in high school. Set in 1995, this Gemini vegetarian Knows

[David]

exactly who she is until her family

[Langston Kerman]

moves from Bel Air to Seattle. Packed with iconic fashion, 90s nostalgia, and a throwback soundtrack, Elle proves one law school was hard. High school was harder.

[David]

From the world of Legally Blonde, watch Elle, a new original series only on Prime Video.

[Langston Kerman]

Watch now.

[David]

We're back. And during this next segment, I promise not to do the fat guy adjust on my T shirt anymore. I've done it more times than I would like this episode. I'm feeling very self conscious about it.

[Langston Kerman]

That's cool that you really. You wanted to get that covered.

[David]

Right?

[Langston Kerman]

Up top.

[David]

I want to stop doing the fat guy adjust, and I would like to cut down in uhs, ums, and likes.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[David]

Are some things I've kind of been actively sort of trying because. Because I already talk with pauses and I elongate my words and I'm like, I think that's enough to do that. And then be like. I like. That's like. That's crazy. I don't like that.

[Langston Kerman]

I got you.

[David]

You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

You're hitting. You're trying to. You're on some Buddhist shit.

[David]

Is that what that is?

[Langston Kerman]

I think just sort of like the minimizing of. Of your life feels like it has elements of Buddhist teachings. I wouldn't say that it's foundational to the religion.

[David]

No, no, no, no. Not at all. I mean, shout out to the Siddhartha.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

But, yeah, I would enjoy things being less complicated in general. Yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

Wow. Did you think the Buddha ever adjusted his shirt?

[David]

I've heard that that's not what he looked like. That's based on the Japanese God Hoti. And then at some point, it got confused and that Siddhartha Gautma, the prince was not a fat guy jacked up.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. In China, depictions of the Buddha are not. Yeah, not that. That's like a different dude.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

But I also think that's Coca Cola making Santa Claus.

[Delamo Manny]

I think that's probably all religions, though, or most of them, because I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't look like he was from Orange County.

[David]

Right.

[Langston Kerman]

No, that's real.

[David]

You know. You know what's crazy about. Yeah, yeah, probably we could say what that looks like, but we're not gonna do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not here to do that.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey. Hey.

[David]

We could say an activity we see them engaging in sometimes, but we didn't. And I think that that's very important. Let's grow.

[Delamo Manny]

Of course.

[David]

Yeah. I do think the Buddha thing. I think that the fat Buddha caught on so well. Because I don't think people want to hear about relaxation or like any kind of peaceful shit from a buff guy.

[Langston Kerman]

Right.

[David]

Like think about all this shit we hear from buff guys. At least in our shit.

[Langston Kerman]

Lock in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David]

Pecks dead. Like they want like buff guys. Like you never hear a buff guy being like, hey, just chill out.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

And I think it's a lot easier. Easier to take that message from a big fat guy.

[Langston Kerman]

I do think that's easier than big buff God. We haven't had a big buff God since like Greece.

[David]

A big buff God. No, they don't.

[Langston Kerman]

Like after Greece they were like, God things swole no more.

[David]

Yeah. They started softening.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, they got.

[David]

God, he old or he got like runner's body.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, he's.

[David]

Yeah, he's thin.

[Delamo Manny]

But calisthenics you can square up.

[David]

Exactly. But not the calisthenics where like they're like trying to sell you that ripstick.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah, not the muscle up. Just a couple push ups, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David]

Just enough to get right.

[Langston Kerman]

But maybe you learn a handstand. But we're not going crazy beyond that.

[David]

Yeah. I think you want buff guys to teach you about peace or you want buff guys to teach you about war and you want fat guys to teach you about peace.

[Delamo Manny]

I like that.

[David]

I think it's just like how we think.

[Langston Kerman]

That's smart. Yeah, that's very smart.

[Delamo Manny]

Because the opposite might be off putting as well.

[David]

A hundred percent.

[Delamo Manny]

You know what I mean?

[David]

A evil fat God.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah.

[David]

Oh, nobody sees that coming. Yeah. Fat guys people don't even think are evil. It depends on the type of fat. It's really a body composition situation.

[Langston Kerman]

The only God that is sort of depicted as fat in like ancient Greece is Dionysus. And he is.

[David]

Wasn't he drinking wine all day?

[Langston Kerman]

That was his whole show.

[Delamo Manny]

That tracks.

[Langston Kerman]

He was like just a party dude. And like he was the God of wine. He was the God of like kicking back and drinking and hanging out and everybody else that's like ready to fight is sexy. Like buff or lady buff. Like they are all sexy.

[David]

Yeah, See? Yeah, I don't really like that.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I think, I think we fat

[David]

guys could be evil.

[Langston Kerman]

I think whatever.

[David]

And I'm riding for that.

[Delamo Manny]

I'm trying to think of one. Elon Musk. I don't know evil fat guys kinda.

[David]

Yeah, you know him on a personal level, you're trying to think. You're thinking a little too elevated. You never just knew a fat guy who was nasty in like high school or some Shit, it's like a. Oh, yeah, yeah, they're there. They're there.

[Delamo Manny]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

Fat guys do everything everybody else does.

[Langston Kerman]

No, yeah, I've noticed. For sure.

[Delamo Manny]

That was sizes. My bad.

[David]

Fair enough.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I. I think much. I think the. The beauty of it is if. If Christianity got anything right, and I don't think we did. I don't think Christian.

[David]

You say we, like you identify mostly

[Langston Kerman]

because that's the only team that I've ever, at some point, served. Not because I necessarily even identify as a Christian, but. But it was, you know, at some point in my life, I was. And I thought that meant something. And the only thing that I think feels absolutely correct in it is not making God big and buff.

[David]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

I think him being even the sexy versions of Jesus, you still go, yeah, but, like, we gotta help him.

[David]

Okay, here's a question for both of y'. All. Do you think fat Jesus could have caught on?

[Langston Kerman]

He was 33. His metabolism was gonna change.

[David]

It was gonna catch up.

[Langston Kerman]

He wasn't gonna have that body forever. And maybe he has sort of that NBA shift.

[David]

Whoa.

[Delamo Manny]

Actually, yeah. No, I think, like, Jesus started going.

[David]

Sean Kemp. Yes.

[Delamo Manny]

Oh, that I think could have called him. When you think about it, maybe that's

[David]

why God didn't take him out of here before he.

[Delamo Manny]

Before it dropped off enough for you.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa. He's getting that Gary Payton belly. No, no, no.

[Delamo Manny]

I think that give a different charge to a lot of the stories in the Bible. You have, you know, the loaves of bread and fish that he multiplied has a different energy to it. Communion's a lot bigger. Yeah.

[David]

Now it's biscuits and catfish.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David]

Communion.

[Delamo Manny]

Communion is cracking.

[David]

Communion is so cracking.

[Delamo Manny]

If Jesus is fact, you get in dinner rolls, not the little wafer crack. You get four dinner rolls in a juice box. Not a.

[David]

Okay.

[Delamo Manny]

No. Hey.

[Langston Kerman]

At one point, he turned the ice chips into tater tots. It was fucking crazy, yo.

[David]

Fat Cheese's communion is so funny.

[Langston Kerman]

He was going crazy after a point.

[Delamo Manny]

That's the only miracle he's doing at that after a certain point.

[Langston Kerman]

Why didn't let him cook, man?

[David]

Fat Jesus. And I think church retention goes way up, dog.

[Delamo Manny]

Yes.

[David]

I think way less people leave the church if they know I'm gonna get a little snack.

[Langston Kerman]

I do think it speaks to the nastiness of humanity. Is that, like, the people that were witnessing the miracles, whatever he was building, were so scared of it. They were like, kill him. Get him the fuck outta here. Because that potential. He could have soared, man.

[David]

I mean, I think we all know Jesus could have made it bigger.

[Delamo Manny]

I think he could.

[Langston Kerman]

David. I wanna say he could have been one of them ones. Jesus could have been one of the breaks. I think he really could have made it if we let him get more time.

[David]

He was struck down in his prime.

[Langston Kerman]

He was struck down in his prime.

[David]

Most people don't even make their first million till 49, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

And we already. We still remember him.

[David]

He's up there.

[Langston Kerman]

He's up there.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah.

[David]

He's like, who's that guy from Chicago? The basketball player who died so young? Benji.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, yeah.

[David]

Okay. That got sadder. I thought you guys were gonna laugh when I said that.

[Langston Kerman]

No, no, no. This is pretty sad story.

[David]

Yeah, that was tough. Hey, players fuck up. When you're out here hooping, you take crazy shots sometimes.

[Langston Kerman]

Nah. You.

[Delamo Manny]

And remember when David used to talk about Dougieing?

[Langston Kerman]

David used to be cool, man.

[Delamo Manny]

I remember. Remember when he was fun?

[Langston Kerman]

I remember. That was fun. Cool.

[David]

Oh, man, that sucks. But I do think fat Jesus is worth thinking about before we.

[Langston Kerman]

We should take one more break. But before we do, I want to ask again about this neuralink possibility. Do you think that other members of the government have also caved to neuralink, or is Elon still just primary? Very. Sort of like he's the freak that did it and everybody else is like, nah, nah, nah. But. But. Or has he gotten it to everybody now?

[Delamo Manny]

Oh, that's a great question. I don't. Thank you.

[Langston Kerman]

I practice all of these at home.

[Delamo Manny]

We can tell. He's in the mirror. What are you.

[Langston Kerman]

If I could get serious for a second, folks.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah, I just don't think it's broken. Contest. I think it really is a technology issue as to why politicians don't have it yet. I think they're like, maybe not like FDA approved testing, but they're trying to get all the kinks out. And Elon was his own test dummy. Yeah.

[David]

Cause he's kind of dumb.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah. If I was a politician, like, if I was like Marco Rubio and I saw Elon Musk doing weird Nazi salutes and, like, crashing out at the inauguration, I'd be like, no, I'd never do this.

[David]

Yeah. I wanted to hang out with standup comedians.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah. That's how I feel about self driving cars.

[David]

Really.

[Delamo Manny]

Like, I trust it. Once all the terrible stuff gets out the way. I mean, I think we need two more way mo catastrophes. And then I'll be like, they figured it out.

[David]

Here's how I feel about Waymo's Lightweight, though. Because I. I take it a few wayos.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, you fuck with it.

[David]

I think I trust a computer better than I trust a lot of other drivers on the road.

[Delamo Manny]

If every other car is a computer. Yeah. Yes.

[David]

Right?

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah.

[David]

But even if it's not.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah, you trust a computer. Deal with YouTube in LA.

[David]

It's nuts out here.

[Delamo Manny]

It's crazy.

[David]

It's so crazy. People are so bad at it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I.

[David]

People are drunk drive on LA, on the highway in LA, and two in the morning, you see 12 drunk cars where you're like, I'm pretty sure this guy's drunk.

[Delamo Manny]

Oh, for sure. 100% like.

[David]

So in that I was like, I don't know if I do trust drivers more.

[Langston Kerman]

I took a lot of comfort in finding out that way. Mo's were just being manned by people

[David]

in the Philippines because you trust Asian drivers. As do we all. On my Mama Told Me podcast. Hey, hey.

[Langston Kerman]

It's the position I'm now happy to take.

[Delamo Manny]

Very progressive.

[David]

Isaac's fist pumping in the closet.

[Langston Kerman]

But I still. I think I'm more afraid of machine being in charge than I am of human being in charge of the physical driving. I think I get more bummed out at the reality that they are enslaving people to be drivers so that they can drive fucking cameras around the city and keep constant surveillance of the shit that we're doing.

[David]

Yeah, that's fair.

[Langston Kerman]

That same said I. It at least makes me feel safer knowing that there's somebody doing this, somebody who could.

[David]

Yeah. Yeah. I.

[Langston Kerman]

That somehow makes me feel comforted. But no, I'm not. I'm not. I. I don't. I try not to. With nothing over there. I don't fuck with AI at all if I can avoid it. And I know that's stupid because I know I'm going to become aged out so fast.

[David]

No, AI sucks. It's like me with my phone ringer. That's going to be you eventually. When I pop up on Dancing on the Jesse Smollett Tour, just know you should have got that nerve in. That does call back to a previous episode. I understand we.

[Langston Kerman]

No, it's calling back to a Patreon episode, frankly. And maybe it's fair that we make the announcement here as well. I am currently actively campaigning to become a background dancer on the Jussie Smollett tour. Yes, I am doing everything in my power and Manny, if you can help, I don't know what services you're connected to, but I want Jesse to know I'm available. I'm interested. I'm excited to learn that choreography, Specifically the one from the Harlem Pride video. I don't want you to change a thing. I think you're doing phenomenal work, sweetie. And I want to be a part of the business.

[David]

Hashtag letlankston dance.

[Langston Kerman]

Hashtag let Langston dance.

[Delamo Manny]

I like that.

[David]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are people still using hashtags to promote social change?

[Langston Kerman]

I. I sure hope so, because I think they're gonna start working any day now.

[Delamo Manny]

Any day now.

[Langston Kerman]

I think now more than ever, people are clicking those hashtags and they're following those links to more information. We should take one more break. We're gonna take one more break. We're gonna come back, and then we're gonna do a voicemail together, and that'll be the whole thing. All right?

[Delamo Manny]

More.

[Langston Kerman]

My mama told me oncology is a key focus for Pfizer. With 40% of R& D devoted to the oncology center space, Pfizer is committed to advancing cancer care for your patients. Learn [e-mail].

[David]

We're back under the velvet titties.

[Langston Kerman]

Back under the velvet titties. Back under Scotty Pippen's crotch. We are back, Manny. We. We often get voicemails from our listeners who. Who like to let us know what about various conspiracy theories. I'm going to share one with us all now. Tell me when to stop. Whenever. All right, here we go.

[David]

What's up, little freakies? I cannot believe I am doing this, but I may have to try again with a more guy friendly conspiracy. But pause. We're not that guy friendly either.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, no, you can. You can come to us with your woman troubles.

[David]

Yeah, we're very open to it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, we don't.

[David]

We're.

[Langston Kerman]

We're. We don't.

[David]

You thought this was like an alpha, alpha male podcast.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I'm down to listen. I don't know how much I can help.

[David]

Yeah, no, I'm not a woman.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, but. But certainly I. I'll be a. I'll be a. An open heart.

[Delamo Manny]

What conspiracy theory could this be? I don't know.

[David]

I'm very excited.

[Delamo Manny]

The menstrual cycle is tied to isis.

[David]

I don't know.

[Delamo Manny]

I don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

You want your blood to run, sister? All right, here we go.

[David]

My mama told me, don't put your purse on the floor.

[Langston Kerman]

It'll make you go broke.

[David]

Right. My mama didn't really tell me that. My grandma did.

[Langston Kerman]

But that's okay.

[David]

I believe her.

[Langston Kerman]

She's never broke.

[David]

I didn't put my mama told me that too person. I don't too much believe in it anymore as now it's more of a, you know, my purses cost a little bit more money. Not that I'm like, she's mumbling in

[Langston Kerman]

a way that feels drunk.

[Delamo Manny]

Ah.

[Langston Kerman]

And. And we often get a lot of people calling drunk, and it does feel like she is wasting it, but. But I appreciate her call.

[David]

That's cool, man.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, she's nice that she called us. She does continue to Talk for another 20 seconds.

[David]

I mean, we had to see it through.

[Langston Kerman]

I'd like to see it through. I just want us all acknowledging that this is a drunk person.

[Delamo Manny]

And so that's what I sound like to all my exes. My bad. Yeah. I'm sorry, Lisa.

[Langston Kerman]

It's also three in the morning, big dog. She's asleep. Go ahead and. Go ahead and save that for the morning.

[David]

I've got some voicemails I pray got deleted off the cloud.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

Cause they will ruin me. I want my own Marvin's room.

[Delamo Manny]

That should be the neural link. If you go to jail, all your worst voicemails just keep repeating fuck, man. Until you cringe.

[David]

God damn, that shit fucked me up.

[Delamo Manny]

Even to that was sadistic.

[David]

I'm sorry. Yeah, that's.

[Langston Kerman]

God damn. You're in charge of prisons now. You win.

[Delamo Manny]

I'm the warden.

[Langston Kerman]

You win the most evil prize. Okay, here we go. Super, super expensive person, but I don't

[David]

want to put him on the floor if anything happens. Mike doing anything.

[Langston Kerman]

Why are you whispering?

[Delamo Manny]

I like how she's just flexing on us while mumbling.

[David]

That's what my grandmama told me. Yeah, I look freaky because she was

[Delamo Manny]

like, her purses are too expensive to put on the ground. You could have just said that without

[Langston Kerman]

the have to make a big deal.

[Delamo Manny]

She's just flexing a Gucci on us.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, she's drunk.

[David]

She's in the bathroom of a bar,

[Delamo Manny]

opened up her Louis bags.

[David]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

It's like, I'm either gonna fuck this guy, or I'm gonna call David and Langston. It's one or the other.

[David]

If that's the position you found yourself in in life.

[Langston Kerman]

Congratulations.

[David]

I was gonna say find some help. No, Those are your only two options.

[Langston Kerman]

Congratulations. Now you're ready to grow. You've hit rock bottom. Now you're ready to grow.

[David]

As far as the conspiracy, I've heard that one too.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it was one of our. It was one of my original conversations. That was the quinta, so don't Put your purse on the ground, you'll go broke.

[Delamo Manny]

More of a superstition than a conspiracy. Technically, we talk about it a lot

[Langston Kerman]

in the space of black conspiracy theory. And I think superstition and conspiracy theory go hand in hand for black people.

[Delamo Manny]

I buy that.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't actually believe that we untether them the way that white people do, because white people live without magic. So they are constantly sort of like trying to be logic based on some shit that like conspiracy has existed for eternity. It is part of our foundation as human beings. So black folklore is conspiracy theory.

[David]

Right.

[Delamo Manny]

Oh, nice anthropology there.

[David]

Man off the coat crazy when he needs to tie two points together.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah.

[David]

The crazy thing is, does he believe it? Does he not? It doesn't matter. Cause it's just point A.

[Langston Kerman]

And that is what makes me so dangerous.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah, you got that look in your eye. Okay, I gotta leave.

[David]

Actually, that was that neuralink look.

[Langston Kerman]

Nah, I don't feel it at all. Now. It feels pretty good to me. Come on in, the water's fine.

[Delamo Manny]

Oh, fuck. We're so doomed.

[David]

Oh, man. Yeah, we're not gonna make it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

That one I don't like. I don't like it when they're so big that. It could just be when it's a conspiracy or it's superstition. And it's so big that if everybody, everybody did in the world did this, it would like upend everything. I don't believe it.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, you mean that like if every purse wasn't on the floor, we would.

[David]

So now no woman will ever go broke. Ah, you know what I mean? It's like too much for me.

[Langston Kerman]

I do. There's a part of the. If I synthesize, but I have heard

[David]

this one a lot.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. If I synthesize some of the sort of emotional truth underneath it. I like you telling people to care about the themselves. Like I do think that that ultimately is what the, the point of it is. Is to be like, have some self respect. You don't want your bag to get all dirty. You're planning to carry this and it carries things you care about. Fucking treat it with respect. Yeah. That said, I think the condition of this is how you get rich is kind of the, the, the bullshit.

[David]

Yeah. I don't like, I. I'm realizing this now as I really think over all of it. I don't like the money ones. Like do this and you'll get money or that. I don't like that. Yeah. I want it to all be interpersonal stuff.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Money really makes the the context, completely different.

[David]

Yeah, I don't like that.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

Have you ever had a purse?

[Langston Kerman]

No, I've never owned a purse.

[David]

You?

[Delamo Manny]

I've had a satchel.

[David]

Okay, well, we don't have to split these hairs.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah, I feel like the distinction is important for what I'm trying to do here. It was like Carhartt, like, just like.

[David]

What would your grandfather call it. First?

[Delamo Manny]

I don't, I don't, I don't think I can say those words on this podcast. Might rhyme with bag. I don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I, I, I, I don't think that that is a judgment of your manhood, but certainly I think that would fall under purse category.

[David]

Yeah, I just never had one because they look crazy on fat guys.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I, I think that's probably right.

[David]

They look. I'd never seen a fat. I've, I've never seen a fat guy with a purse where I was like, damn, that does look cool.

[Langston Kerman]

You're the mailman right away.

[Delamo Manny]

They did do the fanny pack, though. Yeah, my dad was a bigger guy in the 90s. Still is. I said it like, he lost weight, but at this

[David]

nigga's still fat.

[Delamo Manny]

I don't know why I said that.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, no, you're being crazy.

[Delamo Manny]

I'm adding content.

[Langston Kerman]

You're being wild. You're like, that fat had a fanny pack.

[Delamo Manny]

Delete this whole episode.

[David]

It won't be monetized.

[Delamo Manny]

Don't worry.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, no worry.

[David]

Probably because of the Jesus stuff.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, don't worry. Your dad won't see a dime of

[David]

this and neither will we. That's our promise to you.

[Langston Kerman]

That's our promise to you. We'll work for free. We love you too much.

[David]

Uh, yeah, I, I, that's my whole point.

[Langston Kerman]

Do you subscribe to this? Is this something you believe in? The purse on the floor of it all?

[Delamo Manny]

The purse on the floor. I see.

[Langston Kerman]

Did you ever put that satchel on the floor?

[Delamo Manny]

No, but I don't agree with the money portion of it. But something viscerally does feel weird about putting like a nice bag or something that you own on the floor. Unless it's like meant to be on the floor, like luggage versus a backpack or whatever. It feels, I feel like there's something about putting it on a table. So I think there's probably a link between, between, like etiquette and conspiracy and superstition.

[Langston Kerman]

I do put my backpack on the floor.

[David]

I was gonna say backpack feels a little more rough and tumble, but like any other kind of bag is probably for the table because I Don't like it when people put their backpack on the table?

[Langston Kerman]

No. I think that's rude.

[David]

Yeah, yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

Okay.

[David]

Yeah, but like, I feel like a purse on the floor is just like a crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

It's a wild.

[David]

I'm like, like hesitant to tell this story.

[Delamo Manny]

Like, would you put a briefcase on the ground?

[David]

No.

[Delamo Manny]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

I think upright. Upright.

[Delamo Manny]

Upright. Shirt upright. Yes. Sideways on a table. Like sideways on a table.

[Langston Kerman]

But they used to. Cause that's how it would sometimes get exchanged in James Bond films was like, briefcase down on the ground and then somebody else picks it up upright.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Flat is crazy.

[David]

Flat is nuts. Flat is also goes back to table on a lean. You could at least put it on

[Langston Kerman]

a lean, but you can't f. I

[David]

think you have to put it flat because it's got those. Those bottoms on it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

Like a briefcase is meant to be set down flat on the ground. Yeah, it's got. It's got like on the bottom of four things.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah.

[David]

But like, I think it does go back to respect, ultimately. Of. Respect the leather.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah.

[David]

Respect the leather.

[Langston Kerman]

Care about the products you have. You're not gonna get rich by doing that. But maybe a type of self respect is all you need to get yourself one step closer to the wealth that you are so desp. Desperately seeking.

[David]

There you go.

[Delamo Manny]

I like that.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

So don't put your shit on the floor.

[Delamo Manny]

New conspiracy.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, there we go. Hell yeah.

[David]

I like it.

[Langston Kerman]

This was fun. Manny, could you tell the people where they could find you what cool shit you got going on?

[Delamo Manny]

Oh, yeah, bro. You could find me doing a random independent show in Los Angeles, but on the socials. I am Delamo Manny. D E L A M O M A N N y on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Facebook, the IRS, wherever.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, look him up on the IRS.

[David]

Yeah, he pays taxes under that. Yeah, and that's smart.

[Langston Kerman]

Very smart. Tricky, tricky.

[David]

I got a few names that pay taxes.

[Delamo Manny]

I'm also a Nigerian prince. If you want to give me one of your Western Union.

[Langston Kerman]

He's still doing that. That's cool.

[Delamo Manny]

Old school.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, one of them's still out there.

[David]

You know what? I have a question before we go. I know it's time to go out. Just. Is there an official Nigerian royal family or is the whole idea completely contrived? Because if it is, that's amazing.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah, there's several. Because it's by tribe.

[David]

This already feels like a scam.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause it's by tribe. It's by tribe. So it's several.

[David]

Okay. Okay, but there are. But there are several, like, very prominent royal families.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah, but it's all in. It's performative, like. Like in England, I guess.

[Langston Kerman]

And have any of them ever had massive falling outs with their head of family and then been led without money?

[David]

Oh, yeah. Are you asking if this is based in any.

[Langston Kerman]

Yes. Is this based on a real man who was betrayed by his father and now is left without a dime, but has. If you just had $10,000, he could find his way back into the castle and back into his wealth?

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You think that has happened?

[David]

You said. Are there Nigerian castles?

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know.

[David]

I feel like Africans are. Compound heavy.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. This bunker where the.

[David]

No, no, no, no, no. Not a bunker.

[Delamo Manny]

But just like there's ancient castles.

[David]

Like, castle. Castle, like stone tall.

[Delamo Manny]

I think so, because we have, like, the wall of Benin.

[David]

Oh, that is fair.

[Delamo Manny]

Which is Castle Lee. So I imagine.

[Langston Kerman]

I think everybody do castles, bro.

[Delamo Manny]

African architecture is incredibly amazing and textbooks will have you thinking otherwise.

[David]

No, it's crazy because European castles, kind of fucking boring.

[Delamo Manny]

Yeah.

[David]

I.

[Langston Kerman]

The only imagery I think I've ever truly seen of the African continent has been parts of the city that you wouldn't show if you were trying to show what a place looked like.

[David]

Oh, like the unforgettable video.

[Langston Kerman]

Or just like, how. How many fucking videos of Nigeria am I seeing of dudes on weird dirt bikes? Yeah. Like moving through traffic and it's like. Well, yeah, if you show L. A from the traffic.

[David]

Right.

[Langston Kerman]

It looks like dog shit.

[David]

Yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

If you show skid row, it looks awful.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Stop showing me the bad part. Show me. I didn't. You know, I didn't know. I had no knowledge of castles, but I presume everybody fucks with castles.

[David]

Yeah. They also got housing development. Shut up.

[Langston Kerman]

To taf. Yeah.

[Delamo Manny]

Shout out.

[David]

I don't.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know who that is, but fuck it.

[David]

They're making housing developments all over Africa.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[Delamo Manny]

Oh, nice.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[David]

They got tafs alone now. It's. This is not interesting.

[Langston Kerman]

And did I expect that we'd be shouting out builders of housing developments? I didn't.

[Delamo Manny]

I mean, we could do. We could do such if y' all contributed to the pace. Wrong. Yeah.

[David]

Oh, let's go. Exactly.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't like how you squeeze we up in it, but I do. But I do agree with the saying,

[David]

I have property in Africa and I would like to build on it. You giving to the Patreon would help that.

[Langston Kerman]

My boy didn't even know he could build up. He's trying to get a castle.

[David]

No. I do want a compound though. Yeah, I would like a compound.

[Langston Kerman]

Fuck yeah. Well, is there anything you want to tell them otherwise other than help you get a compound?

[David]

Nah. Cool guy jokes 87 on Instagram. Watch my don't tell. You know we're hanging out.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, you can follow me at Langston Kerman on all social media platforms. You can send us your own drops, your own conspiracies to mymamapodmail.com, you can give us a call at 844-LIL moms. We are still very much in operation despite everyone's best efforts, despite how hard

[David]

you tried, these niggas played on my downfall.

[Langston Kerman]

We remain operational and we will continue to be so and we're so grateful you would join us and take care of you yourself. Slob on your knob. Bye.

[David]

Slob on your knob.

[Langston Kerman]

Yep, your knob.

[David]

Slob your own knob.

[Delamo Manny]

Slo your own knob.

[David]

The ozone player who owes me money.

[Delamo Manny]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back.

[Langston Kerman]

So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills.

[Delamo Manny]

But it turns out that's very illegal,

[Langston Kerman]

so there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] switch upfront payment

[David]

of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for a 12 month plan required $15 per month equivalent to taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy.

[Delamo Manny]

See Terms

[Langston Kerman]

Athletic Brewing Company crafts award winning non alcoholic beers for those who want to be part of every round. With over 185 flavor awards, there are exceptional NA beers that fit your lifestyle and any social occasion. Summer's full of good times and Athletic fits right in. Go to athleticbrewing.com to have brews delivered to your door or find them at a bar, restaurant or store near you. Near Beer Athletic Brewing Co. Fit for all Times.