My Momma Told Me – “Old Men Give You Worms” (with Langston and David)

Podcast: My Momma Told Me (Big Money Players Network & iHeartPodcasts)
Hosts: Langston Kerman & David Gborie
Date: March 31, 2026

Episode Overview

In this rollicking solo episode, comedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie riff on Black conspiracy theories and field listener voicemails about wild family wisdom. With their signature mix of humor and sincerity, the duo examine everything from the myth that old men "give you worms" to deeper cultural questions about AI, Black masculinity, and homophobia in sports. The episode is a blend of jokes, tangents, and surprisingly poignant reflections—all filtered through an unapologetically Black and comedic lens.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Patreon Hype & Albino Areolas (03:06–05:13)

• The hosts open with comedic banter about launching their Patreon, full of joking promises (“Langston’s nudes”).
• Wild speculation ensues about what albino nipples look like.
  • “We pride ourselves on doing real research on this podcast. Specifically albino areolas is what I’m curious [about].” – David (04:47)

2. Sex and Bunk Beds: The Physics and Fantasies (06:22–09:10)

• The pair riff on the rarity and challenge of having sex on a bunk bed, going from personal anecdotes to physical logistics:
  • “Good, regular, consensual sex on a bunk bed is very rare.” – Langston (06:22)
• David proposes “fully standing oral” and Langston has a change of heart:
  • “Some stuff could be cool, brother. Holy standing oral could be cool.” – David (09:10)
  • “I was wrong. And David, you were right. And we all need to grow up.” – Langston (09:18)

3. Why This Podcast Isn’t Always Good for You (11:25–12:36)

• Posturing as “chaotic neutral,” they discuss their role in the podcast landscape versus more “positive” shows.
  • “I wish sometimes that this was a force for positive change in the world. But… I'm fine being a chaotic neutral.” – David (11:25)

4. Getting ‘Hoes’ in Spite of Your Ailments (13:21–15:18)

• Extended riff on how men with all kinds of “issues”—height, illness, “victim weight”—still get “hoes.”
  • “There really is something inside of you that has the potential to get hosed.” – Langston (14:41)
  • “Embrace yourself. That’s the only way the hoes are coming.” – David (14:51)
• Playful but real conversation about self-acceptance, attractiveness, and sexual math.

5. Listener Voicemails – Hot Dogs, ‘Big Gay’, and AI (17:01–44:33)

A. “Glizzy Guzzlers” & Food Shame (17:01–20:23)

• Callbacks to a previous voicemail about “hot dogs and masculinity”—the hosts joke about “glizzy guzzler” identity and food shame.
  • “As a motherfucker that loves a hot dog, I don’t like this.” – Langston (17:49)
  • “I want to say I’m a glizzy guzzler to you, but you’re being cold. Love me.” – Langston (18:20)

B. The ‘Big Gay’ Conspiracy in Pro Sports (23:36–33:39)

• Voicemail explores the tongue-in-cheek idea that an organized “Big Gay” is preventing athletes from coming out because it would shift the cultural spotlight.
  • “My mama told me Big Gay is what's trying to keep these athletes from coming out.” – Caller “Big Gay” (26:53)
• Langston and David wrestle with the concept, making jokes but also addressing the realities of homophobia in sports.
  • “A lot of male athletes specifically do not feel comfortable coming out as any versions of queer...” – Langston (30:11)
  • Notable moment: Discussion of Michael Sam’s NFL draft experience.
  • “We saw it with Oldboy who got drafted that year… Michael Sam… [he] had a boyfriend and they kissed when he got drafted. It was a big fucking deal.” – Langston (30:32–31:05)

C. AI and the End of Trust (38:01–44:33)

• Caller expresses the view that AI will not only disrupt creativity but further destroy our shared reality and trust in media.
  • “I think the powers that be are purposefully employing AI to muddy the water...so that it blurs the line between real news and fake [news]… and just become dumber and less informed.” – Caller (39:43)
• The hosts turn the conversation into a mix of real worry and riffs about generational differences in tech use.
  • “We're more fucked up because we don't know how to handle it.” – David (42:19)
  • “We really be trying to pretend like just because we remember the office means we're not fucking addicted to TikTok.” – Langston (43:12)

6. Worms from Old Men – The Title Conspiracy (49:05–59:51)

• Caller asks: Is it true “old men give you worms” if younger women mess with them?
  • “My mama told me that old [men] give you worms. Like, if you’re messing around when you’re a young woman with someone much older, they give you worms. And that could be literally or figuratively.” – Yani (50:52)
• Langston and David admit their inexperience with old men, so they invite their producer Joelle into the discussion.
• The segment pivots to real STIs (scabies, trichomoniasis), horror at “vaginal pinworms,” and comedic disgust:
  • “[If] you're walking around here with worms, you got to chill, bro.” – Langston (54:01)
  • “We're not shaming anybody who ends up with something that they didn't plan to have. It happens to people. But you can't be giving that shit out.” – David (55:12–55:18)

7. Cultural Hygiene, Martin Lawrence, and Kangol Hats (57:08–59:00)

• Quick historical tangent: Martin Lawrence’s SNL monologue being cut for telling people to wash themselves.
• Jokes about the cycle of Kangol hat trends.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Old Myths:
  “You learned some stuff. You learned about worms in your pussy. You learned about worms in your dick. You learned to love again. Specifically your mother, who hurt you in a way that none of us could have anticipated.” – Langston (59:36)
• On Sports and Homophobia:
  “We are heading in a healing place. And… the suggestion of no professional athletes being out and gay is just an elimination of, like, all the women who are actively out and gay. Brittany Griner fucking did for real for real jail time...” – Langston (29:01)
• On AI and Generations:
  “We're like the first indigenous people they gave sugar to.” – David, on Millennials & the internet (42:28)
• On Relationship Advice:
  “Embrace yourself. That’s the only way the hoes are coming. You gotta embrace… you don’t run from it.” – David (14:51)
• On Listener Moms:
  “You do have to forgive her just for you. You do have to make peace.” – David, to the AI conspiracy caller about his mom (39:47)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Patreon Launch & Albino Nipple Banter: 03:06–05:13
• Bunk Bed Sex Logistics: 06:22–09:10
• Role of the Podcast/Positive Change?: 11:25–12:36
• Men Getting ‘Hoes’ Despite Flaws: 13:21–15:18
• Hot Dog/“Glizzy Guzzlers” Callbacks: 17:01–20:23
• The ‘Big Gay’ Athlete Conspiracy: 23:36–33:39
• AI/Tech Dystopia Voicemail: 38:01–44:33
• Old Men Giving Worms – Main Theory: 49:05–59:51

Tone & Style

All the above is carried out in the hosts' irreverent, roast-heavy, deeply Black comedic style. Tangents abound, but so do sincere moments, especially when discussing marginalized experiences or generational challenges. The humor is raw and occasionally explicit, but never mean-spirited—they punch up and often turn the jokes on themselves.

Final Thoughts

This “My Momma Told Me” episode delivers what loyal fans expect: wild conspiracies, snappy banter, unexpected social commentary, and gross-out laughs—with the myth of “old men give you worms” dissected in classic L&D style. Perfect for listeners who want a blend of barbershop wisdom, stand-up comedy, and genuine cultural reflection.

Subscribe for more on their Patreon, and don’t forget—if you’re thinking of old men, worms, or Martin Lawrence, remember to wash your ass (and call your mom).