Pfizer & John Legend Are Conspiring! (with Langston Kerman and David Gborie) Re-Release

Summary

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My Momma Told Me: "Pfizer & John Legend Are Conspiring!"

Hosts: Langston Kerman & David Gborie
Release Date: May 7, 2026
Episode Type: Re-Release
Theme: Breaking Down Black Conspiracy Theories – Pfizer, John Legend, and the Power of Medical Advertising

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Episode Overview

In this episode, comedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie dive deep into a listener-submitted Black conspiracy theory: that pharmaceutical powerhouse Pfizer partnered with John Legend and targeted the Black church to push flu shots, stoking both health compliance and interpersonal drama in Black families. The duo use their signature humor and candidness to unpack issues of medical mistrust, targeted advertising, desirability politics, and the complexity of being Black in America.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Email Kickoff – “F* Is Pfizer On?”**

• [13:35] – [22:00]
  The episode begins with Langston and David reading a provocative listener email from Dylan about a Pfizer flu shot commercial featuring John Legend. The email theorizes that Pfizer is specifically targeting Black women via "white devil shenanigans," using John Legend to galvanize this demographic while stirring division at home with skeptical, HOTEP-leaning Black men.

• Notable Quote:

  • Dylan’s theory, as summarized by Langston:

    "He attracts Black women into buying into this relationship with medicine... and then creates infighting in Black households where women try to convince their men and family to trust a system they've been taught to doubt."
    (Langston, [27:09])

2. Debating John Legend’s Sex Symbol Status

• [14:33] – [16:01]
  Both hosts riff on John Legend’s public persona, attractiveness (or lack thereof), and the entertainment industry’s strange insistence that he’s a heartthrob.

• David jokes that the commercial imagines Black women wanting John Legend for his gentle sexuality rather than the stereotypical “blow your back out” fantasy associated with other sex symbols.

• Notable Quote:

  • "The song is called 'Ordinary People'—you regular, my n****."
    (Langston, [15:45])

3. Advertising, Race, and Medical Mistrust

• [27:09] – [34:18]
  The hosts unpack the real-world implications of pharmaceutical companies using celebrities to change Black attitudes about medicine, especially flu shots. Both discuss the prevalence of “White Coat Syndrome” and the challenges of feeling seen, believed, and heard by medical professionals.

• Notable Moment:

  • David shares his discomfort with doctors:

    "I don't f*** with the doctor. I feel like I don't get listened to... never my pain, never seeming like a big issue. I feel like part of it is a dark-skinned thing."
    (David, [28:10])

4. Personal Experiences & Trust in Black Doctors

• [29:48] – [33:48]
  Both comedians discuss efforts to find Black or African doctors and the nuances of presentation, comfort, and trust.
• Langston jokes about flashy vs. utilitarian doctors, leading to a bit about a plastic surgeon providing breast reductions in Ghana, satirizing medical “heroism” and marketing.

5. Is the Conspiracy Plausible?

• [34:18] – [44:27]
  The hosts debate whether Pfizer’s strategy is an intentional psychological operation or just savvy marketing. David argues corporations mostly just want more money and target the demos most likely to boost profits, not necessarily to sow discord within Black families.

• Notable Exchange:

  • "Sometimes we give white people... more credit than they deserve... They're not brilliant masterminds."
    (Langston, [43:34])

6. The Problems Embedded in Healthcare for Black Americans

• [41:28] – [45:46]
  A conversation about systemic barriers: the multi-step hurdles to care, lack of providers who “get” Black patients, and how Black men, in particular, fare better when treated by Black doctors.
  • Langston:

    "You fill out those forms and they're like, n**** I ain't reading this s***... I think it's that energy that's truly where medicine is hurting us."
    [45:54]

7. Comic Relief – Horny Suppressors and Vinny Packs

• [48:52] – [51:10]
  To balance the heaviness, the duo riff on male enhancement products versus what they really need: “horny blockers” for men who’d rather focus during work hours—not get more aroused. They pitch a fake product, the “Vinny Pack” (vinegar pack).

• Memorable Bit:

  • "If you could take away my horny from 9 to 5pm, I would get so much done, bro."
    (David, [49:43])

8. Final Thoughts & Social Media Push

• [52:17] – end
  Plugging upcoming live shows, urging listeners to send their own conspiracies and drops, the duo close with calls for fan engagement and merchandise sales—all peppered with their direct, tongue-in-cheek style.

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Most Memorable Quotes

• On Conspiracy & Advertising:

  • "Celebrities are shills. They're whores. That's the point of the job...I'm fine, sell me Coca Cola. Don't tell me to get a shot."
    (David, [34:18])

• On John Legend’s Image Transformation:

  • "Now he is a mouthpiece often for the Democratic party...And one of the scariest of that list is f***in’ flu shots."
    (Langston, [48:42])

• On Healthcare Racism:

  • "They ask you to fill out these charts...I think we fill out those forms and they're like, n**** I ain't reading this s***."
    (Langston, [45:54])

• On Sex Symbol Marketing:

  • "The conspiracy to make us think John Legend is the sexiest man in the world. You guys gotta relax. He looks like a teacher."
    (David, [14:33])

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Key Timestamps

• Listener Email & Pfizer Conspiracy Setup: [13:35] – [22:00]
• John Legend Discourse: [14:33] – [16:01]
• Medical Racism & White Coat Syndrome: [27:09] – [34:18]
• Finding Black Doctors / Medical Office Culture: [29:48] – [33:48]
• Advertising Skepticism & Corporate Motives: [34:18] – [44:27]
• Barriers to Black Care & Neglect of Patients: [41:28] – [45:46]
• Comic Relief – Vinny Packs: [48:52] – [51:10]
• Closing Plugs & Social Media Engagement: [52:17] – end

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Tone & Style Summary

Langston and David keep the mood dynamic—twisting between biting satire, earnest vulnerability, and absurdist riffing. They interrogate the overlapping worlds of Blackness, health, celebrity, and capitalist intent, tearing down mainstream narratives with humor and humility. The episode is both a thoughtful unpacking of a listener’s “paranoid” email and a showcase for the hosts’ quick, clever banter.

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For New Listeners

Even if you haven’t heard the episode, this is a smart, hilarious, and unfiltered exploration of how big brands target Black America, why medical mistrust runs deep, and what happens when pop culture and healthcare collide. With memorable bits, well-earned skepticism, and poignant personal stories, it’s classic “My Momma Told Me.”

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Transcript

[Langston Kerman]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[Langston Kerman]

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[David Borie]

A legacy is a beautiful thing, but

[Langston Kerman]

only if it survives.

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[Langston Kerman]

We have the Start the Steal tour. We're very excited about it. I'm not about to bite my tongue. We want to sell it out and the dates are coming up fast and so if you live in one of these areas, we want you to buy your tickets now. It's all available on our Instagra, on our websites, on our link tree. But you can see us in Washington, D.C. on October 10th. Detroit, Michigan on October 12th. Chicago, October 13th. October 17th. We're in LA, in Hollywood. We'll be in Atlanta on Halloween, October 31st. We want y' all to come out. We want y' all to kick it. We will be doing our coveted live show with special guests with just me and David. Depending on the city. It'll be a great time.

[David Borie]

All that meet and greets. You think Chris Brown has a good meet and greet, bro?

[Langston Kerman]

Let's be clear. I'll take a weird picture with you for free.

[David Borie]

I do want to say with the pictures, we said to send in pictures to you so Maybe don't. Lady, you were fine as hell. That's not the issue. We're both in relationships. We can't be getting late night pictures of women. And that's all I'm going to say

[Langston Kerman]

is stressing David out. Me, myself, I can handle it. You do whatever you need to do, but you're stressing David out. And maybe chill out.

[David Borie]

Yeah, I got the email app on my phone. I'm checking it in bed.

[Langston Kerman]

It complicates things.

[David Borie]

You did not show us what you were working with in said picture.

[Langston Kerman]

That's.

[David Borie]

Olivia says I don't want to see them.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, well, I guess I'm outvoted, and that's fine.

[David Borie]

You know what? If you want us to see them, send it to Langston personally. Why don't you address an email to Langston and it says them and all cats and show them all of them.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey, everybody, let's just pump the brakes. It's a lot easier to explain it when it's a group email and not. Not my personal collection.

[David Borie]

Do you know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

Microchips in your anus. All koala bears are racist.

[David Borie]

The ozone layer owes me money. Marshall's invented turkey stuff. Y' all can't tell me nothing.

[Langston Kerman]

Who wants to sex Mutombo? There it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome, little mamas and gentiles alike, to another phenomenal episode of

[David Borie]

My Mama Told Me, the podcast, where we dive deep into the pockets of

[Langston Kerman]

black conspiracy theories, and we finally work to prove that Nell Carter died a generation too early to be celebrated for the badass big lady she truly was. That lady was fine. I think Nell Carter was a baddie. And they spent a lot of time calling her a big old chubby uggo. And that was like the whole bit was, who would want to have sex with Nell Carter? Guess what? Old Langston Kerman would have sex with Nell Carter today, tomorrow, and forever.

[David Borie]

I want to, first of all, say a double rip. Nell Carter and McKimbit giving Mu Dumbo. And now I'm with you, though. That was bad. That was that little updo, little shortcut.

[Langston Kerman]

It was of a time, I would say, yeah.

[David Borie]

And it's interesting because, yeah, they talked all that shit. Ten years later, Monica came out with the same thing, and we loved her for it.

[Langston Kerman]

We loved her because she fit a certain profile. You know, she was a skinny baddie. But the big girl baddies got their wave, and unfortunately, Nell was a little too early for it.

[David Borie]

Well, now we want you to know, wherever you are, we will hit we will hit.

[Langston Kerman]

If you're up in heaven listening. We were hit.

[David Borie]

We were hit. God bless you. God bless you. God bless that haircut,

[Langston Kerman]

Man. What shot do we have at heaven at this point?

[David Borie]

You know, I think 70, 30. I do some things in my personal life.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. You still think you have a decent chance at heaven?

[David Borie]

The way you respond to that makes me feel like you don't.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think you have a chance or I don't think I have a

[David Borie]

chance that you don't think you have a chance.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I don't think I got a pretty. I don't think I'm.

[David Borie]

Wow.

[Langston Kerman]

I think at this point, it's less a question of me going to heaven and where death do I go? Do you know what I mean? Like, I think, I don't, I don't know that I'm a subscriber in, in the idea of hell. I, I, that to me, feels sort of like a fictitious thing, but certainly.

[David Borie]

Is that because you're Jewish?

[Langston Kerman]

No, I, I didn't grow up with any, Okay. No, I didn't grow up with any, like, deep connections to the Jewish religion, but I do connect with that part of the, of the faith, if that makes sense, that I just. On a logical sense, it does feel false to me that there's just a place for eternal damnation because I cussed and wasn't nice to my neighbor's wife or whatever it is.

[David Borie]

Here's my problem with there being no hell, Then I'm damn sure not going to heaven. Does that make sense?

[Langston Kerman]

Well, that's what I'm wrestling with.

[David Borie]

I know. So I, I need there to be a hell so I can make it to heaven.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I think, like, there might be a version of this where, like, you don't go to heaven, but you go to, like, you become, like, a spirit that just lives in line at Burger King, you know what I mean? Where it's just like, that's eternity for you.

[David Borie]

Because here's how I always viewed it before. The difference between heaven and hell is like the difference between a D minus and an F. Oh, you see what I'm saying? Where, Hey, I got it. 60% though.

[Langston Kerman]

You trying to be one of them. That's like, right at the end and goes, my bad, God. And then he's like, come on, come on, come on. You cool?

[David Borie]

That's exactly it. Let me get that. I'm 0.9 away, but that's enough. That's enough. But then if you put some other place in there. Well, now I'm rocking the C minus. I don't know what I'm gonna do.

[Langston Kerman]

You did enough that the teacher goes, david, can you hang back for a second?

[David Borie]

Oh, I remember that conversation now. I'm gonna pass you. But I shouldn't.

[Langston Kerman]

You're really pushing it, man. And if you're gonna be something in your life, then you're gonna have to make some other choices. You are. I will, miss Carlisle. I promise. I'm gonna work on it.

[David Borie]

Here's a talk I got. Your grades were fine during football season, then all of a sudden, mid November rolls around and you're failing everything.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, no, it's true. I myself maintained pretty solid grades the whole time. Of course you did. But I respect that. Everybody had a different journey out there, and I certainly watched my teachers have that conversation with my friends and I.

[David Borie]

It's very funny from afar.

[Langston Kerman]

It's so funny to watch.

[David Borie]

Like, this is. This is not great, but, like, do you remember just making fun of people for being stupid in school? Because my thing is, I was bad at school, but I'm smart enough that I could. Like, you couldn't be like, this guy's a fucking idiot. But then they'd be like, but Jeff can't balance equation or whatever. You know what I mean, dog.

[Langston Kerman]

We. I would say some of my most joyous moments were making fun of the extensive failures of my peers. Just being like, you know what I mean?

[David Borie]

Just.

[Langston Kerman]

Especially when I was playing basketball. Like, dudes who couldn't play that week because, like, they didn't make grades or whatever. The time we had, bro, that happened

[David Borie]

to me once, too, and it was awful. It was my junior year, and I remember sophomore year. I remember you had to run all practice, and then you had to run conditioning that week, like, so you didn't get to practice at all. And then the coach would just make me run different directions. Oh, so it'd be, like, boring run that way. Maybe there's an A over there,

[Langston Kerman]

But there's not. And frankly, you keeping me here running is not going to help me improve my studies in any way, shape, or form.

[David Borie]

I think if you were a good coach, you would understand that. The F started at home.

[Langston Kerman]

The F started at home. I needed more help than you yelling. You the health teacher yelling at me

[David Borie]

can offer, bro, he wasn't even a teacher. We brought a hitter in. He was a construction worker.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, that's a problem.

[David Borie]

He owned a concrete business. He was dirty. He drove his truck onto the field before practice.

[Langston Kerman]

Nah, that's not right.

[David Borie]

You don't Come on, man.

[Langston Kerman]

They have to have some tether to the educational system so that they know how to help liaison these relationships.

[David Borie]

Otherwise, you're just a man yelling at me.

[Langston Kerman]

A man yelling at me for frankly tests that you can't even scale. You know what I mean? Like, you don't even know how hard that test was. You're just being mean to me because you didn't. I didn't get good grades.

[David Borie]

The life of a student athlete, man, it's tough.

[Langston Kerman]

I miss it every day.

[David Borie]

I never miss it. But it's because I wasn't good enough. I was, like, good enough to start, but I wasn't good enough to get any specialty treatment. It was just like, okay, you're starting because you're the best defensive tackle we have here. But that's not a great pool. Like, nobody was like, dude, they were going to New Mexico State. I know. I turned into Shannon Sharp.

[Langston Kerman]

What up there? What up there? Boy, you got a future, young man.

[David Borie]

Yeah, I do miss football.

[Langston Kerman]

I miss. I don't. I didn't play football, but I do miss basketball a lot. And I miss Shannon Sharpe. I miss the Shannon Sharpe he was and not the Shannon Sharpe that everybody has found out he is.

[David Borie]

Exactly. I mean, smile high.

[Langston Kerman]

Salute. The good old days, man, what a time when we had festive ships.

[David Borie]

I even missed the defect to Baltimore. But now I want to hear you talk.

[Langston Kerman]

No, it's tough. It's tough hearing that mushmouth man speak. That said, we're not here to talk about Shannon Sharpe or football or basketball, frankly. We have an email. It's a Langston and David episode. A David Langston episode. We're going to talk some shit. We're going to hang out. We're just going to chill for a minute. But we got an email from a person that we're excited about. I think our ears perked up at the possibilities that come from this salacious email. Its subject line reads, fuck is Pfizer on which.

[David Borie]

Great, great, great. I'm in.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's a good way to start an email. I like that.

[David Borie]

And put a picture in.

[Langston Kerman]

Put a picture in. And I like when they start with fuck. You know what I mean? Or just a big old naughty word right at the beginning that makes me want to read it fast. Yeah. Dylan sent us a message. He said, greetings and salutations, Langston and David. E para Olivia. Que pedo. Puedo pedo. I don't know. I'm not a Spanish speaker. Olivia, that was for you. Anyway, it ain't got Nothing to do with us. I saw this goofy fucking Pfizer commercial during the Niners game today, and I cannot think of a single reason why they needed John Legend drinking honey on a piano with fuck me eyes except for some good old fashioned white devil shenanigans. That sounds right to me already. And I don't even know what the commercial is. I haven't seen the commercial. Were you familiar with this commercial before?

[David Borie]

I'm not, but I'm on board with. All right. And this is a conspiracy within a conspiracy. The conspiracy to make us think John Legend is the sexiest man in the world. You guys gotta relax. You gotta relax. Putting all this John Legend on me. He looks like a teacher. He. It's fine.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borie]

I look like a door guy. That's my lot in life. You don't have to, like. You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I feel it. I. I think there was this weird period where John Legend looked like what we think he should look like. He looked like a little mouse man in big thick sweaters. And we were like, that's John Legend. We agree on that. He's not a sexy man, but he. He has sexy man voice and makes sexy man music. Cool. And then John Legend did a fuck ton of push ups and got into pretty good shape for John Legend. And then suddenly we just accepted that John Legend was supposed to be a sex symbol, when in fact, no, that's still a mouse man who did push ups.

[David Borie]

The song is called Ordinary People.

[Langston Kerman]

You regular, my nigga.

[David Borie]

Yeah, you ain't.

[Langston Kerman]

You ain't even supposed to be over here.

[David Borie]

And that's why I like you, because I bought your cd, which was a Christmas present to my mom at Target.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borie]

And that's cool.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. No John Legend.

[David Borie]

And this isn't.

[Langston Kerman]

This. We want to be clear. This isn't some negative attack on, like, John Legend. It's more just, let's rescale the attractiveness measurements. You know what I mean? Like, we gotta balance the scales again.

[David Borie]

I just feel like we need to let normal and ugly people do shit in entertainment again.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I like it.

[David Borie]

You don't gotta be fine to sing.

[Langston Kerman]

You don't.

[David Borie]

It's fine.

[Langston Kerman]

I agree.

[David Borie]

You gotta be fine to play the drums.

[Langston Kerman]

I agree. And even I think about, like, Jonathan Majors, who obviously went through his big transformation and then a more complicated one. But there was a period where, like, people were fully trying to convince us that that was a. A sec. A fine man. That he was, like, handsome. And let's be clear, y'. All. He's not. He's funny.

[David Borie]

I think he might be handsome. I actually have to differ with you on that. I think he might be a handsome man.

[Langston Kerman]

What are we doing? What is this podcast? I think we can't agree on what Jonathan Majors looks like.

[David Borie]

You saw Rocky?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. He's big and buff, and he. He certainly plays the part. But no, that's not a handsome man.

[David Borie]

I mean.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, that's funny looking.

[David Borie]

Does he have the face of your cousin who was good at football? Yes.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. He's odd faced and he. No, come on. And he dresses like he.

[David Borie]

He dresses like a slave. And that's.

[Langston Kerman]

He dresses like he keeps a bottle of cod liver oil in his pocket. You know what I mean? Like, he's a fucking. That's not a handsome man. What are we talking about?

[David Borie]

Here's my question to you, because you flirt with the space of handsome man. If you got Jonathan Majors buff, would we ever see you again?

[Langston Kerman]

Uh, I don't think so.

[David Borie]

I.

[Langston Kerman]

I think I've done everything in my power. I'll be honest with you. I've done everything in my power not to get buff, because I think that if I end up in that space, I can't keep doing comedy, certainly not at any version of a respectable level.

[David Borie]

And I will say. And we have newly talked to the social media team. Blur this out. I was watching your new television show.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borie]

And I did take a screenshot that I was saving for. I was in the living room. I told my girl. I was like, it's like Christmas. He's not gonna know, but it's gonna come up. It's gonna come up in amazing time. I had to rewind it, pause it. I paused it. I can show you. We'll blur it out.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm never gonna be more subconscious than for the rest of always, I guess, because I know. I know what it is, but it gives me nightmares. I haven't even watched.

[David Borie]

Do you want to see the still?

[Langston Kerman]

Sure. Yeah. It gives me nightmares. I fucking hate this. This is awful. What a terrible thing that's happening. I hate it.

[David Borie]

Hey, guys, look at me.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it's just me.

[David Borie]

If I.

[Langston Kerman]

No. If I fuck around and get jacked, it's over, man. I can't keep going.

[David Borie]

See, I'm the opposite. If I got jacked, I. I would do a Shaq level number of endorsements.

[Langston Kerman]

No, that's. That's crazy.

[David Borie]

If I.

[Langston Kerman]

No, that's not crazy. That makes sense.

[David Borie]

If I get buff, I'm selling out, dog.

[Langston Kerman]

That's what I'm. I think If I get buff, I'm just going to walk the path I get. What? What Michael B. Jordan do you know what I mean? He was like, I got buff. It took me a lot of time and energy to make these muscles. I am going to use them to the best of their ability and be the star of every buff dude thing available. You don't then go and, you know, hang out with Riff Raff. I gotta make a choice, you know what I mean?

[David Borie]

See, I'm cutting every. I'd be the new Terry. You call me Terry News. I'm the new one. You see me popping all of a sudden. David's change.

[Langston Kerman]

You be popping a lot now.

[David Borie]

Don't stop popping.

[Langston Kerman]

Dylan goes on to say, my conspiracy is that Pfizer partnered with the black church on the John Legend flu shot commercial as a way to galvanize old black women to buy into the medical machine more and challenge their HOTEP husbands. Thus creating both more flu shot income for Pfizer from traditionally untrustworthy black folks as well as more conflict and division in black families via inciting old hard headed niggas to double down on their views and never go to the doctor by intensifying old head's experience of White Coat syndrome, which is obviously valid, as well as the jealousy and insecurity from from their wives wanting John Legend to eat their pussies out. Amplified chronic stress will expedite their imminent early demise, creating more free time for black super women, our nation's heroes who don't know how to have fun to only focus on sacrificial service via work and church. Thank you all for your hijinks and tomfoolery. This podcast is one of the things that got me through grad school. All the best, Dylan. Damn.

[David Borie]

One minor point I do want to make. That's how you know Johnny Legend's not fine. They're imagining him eating their pussies.

[Langston Kerman]

You're saying fine, man, you imagine them blowing your back out.

[David Borie]

I would imagine. And I'm not a woman. I don't know, but I would assume.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, but regular men, you go, I bet he eat me out good and treat me nice.

[David Borie]

Sing to it.

[Langston Kerman]

Dylan lays down a pretty, I would say thoughtful and heavy theory here. I wonder if it's worth us taking a break because he's laid down his tracks. Maybe we take a break. We give y' all a second to buy products. I'm sure they're great products. And then when we come back, we'll talk a little bit more about our thoughts on Dylan's. Conspiracy. That sound good?

[David Borie]

I'm into it.

[Langston Kerman]

Hell yeah. So we're gonna take a break. We'll be back with more Dylan's email and more My mama told me.

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Langston Kerman]

We have the Start the Steel tour. We're very excited about it. I'm not about to bite my tongue. We want to sell it out and the dates are coming up fast. And so if you live in one of these areas, we want you to buy your tickets. Now, it's all available on our Instagrams, on our websites, on our link tree. But you can see us in Washington, D.C. on October 10th. Detroit, Michigan on October 12th. Chicago, October 13th, October 17th. We're in LA, in Hollywood. We'll be in Atlanta on Halloween, October 31st. We want y' all to come out. We want y' all to kick it. We will be doing our coveted live show with special guests with just me and David, depending on the city. It'll be a great time.

[David Borie]

All that meet and greets. You think Chris Brown has a good meet and greet, bro?

[Langston Kerman]

Let's be clear. I'll take a weird picture with you for free.

[David Borie]

You raggedy and you ain't. We are back.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm never back from a commercial.

[David Borie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I like it.

[David Borie]

We're discussing Pfizer, John Legend and the black women of it all.

[Langston Kerman]

What I think Dylan is suggesting is that John Legend sort of functions as a two pronged threat to the black community. He, number one, sort of attracts black women into buying into. Into sort of like this relationship with medicine that is not necessarily proven or safe with this obviously giant corporation. But then additionally, he creates like this, this sort of infighting in black households where black women are attempting to get their husbands and lovers and family to buy into the medicine that they have been trained their entire lives to doubt and fight against.

[David Borie]

And I, I love it. I'm in on this. I mean, I don't. I wouldn't call it as extreme as that, but I think I have a level of white coats syndrome for sure.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa. Yeah. Say more.

[David Borie]

I don't fuck with the doctor. I feel like I don't get listened to.

[Langston Kerman]

Mm.

[David Borie]

I didn't feel like that as a kid, but as an adult since having had health insurance, it's like the process is so. It feels. Yeah, I Very, very much feel like I'm not being listened to. I feel kind of like I'm not being believed.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borie]

Which is interesting because. And I've always had that with the doctor. Right. Like just this. And I, in, like, I feel like part of it is a dark skinned thing. You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

100%. Yeah.

[David Borie]

But just like never my pain, never seeming like a big issue or anything like that. So I definitely. And I was, that's so funny. I was talking to my girl about it recently and she feels the same way. She said when she goes to the doctor, they just tell her one thing, you know what I mean? Like, even when she's like, this is. And we know that the issue, the rate of that is even higher with black women.

[Langston Kerman]

Right, Right. And we've read about them a few times on the podcast. But there are a fair amount of, like, studies that corroborate essentially what you're saying. That like, dark skinned people more often than not are experiencing like, you know, interactions with, with the medical professionals that suggest that they're not being heard and their pain isn't being validated or treated with any sort of seriousness. And so that all feels possible. Right? Like, that all feels real. It doesn't feel like some shit where it's just like you going crazy alone, being like, my doctor's not nice, whatever the fuck.

[David Borie]

That's why I try to find black doctors. They get an African dentist one time. It was. That's interesting. I don't, that's.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey, I'm not gonna say anything because I've been problematic as it relates to your people, but I wouldn't be in no African dental.

[David Borie]

Here was my, I think my issue was that I wanted him to be flashier. I was like, black African dentist, all gold, everything.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, you wanted the. Okay. See, I don't want.

[David Borie]

Then I would believe it, any medical

[Langston Kerman]

professional to be flashy in any way, shape or form. That is like the biggest turnoff for me as a really. Yeah.

[David Borie]

I like sensible shoes.

[Langston Kerman]

I like when your office looks like you borrowed it. You know what I mean? Like, you don't even, don't even put your fucking picture on the wall. You are here to work and go home. I like that. You know what I mean?

[David Borie]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

I like it. It's just, it's. This is just honest, clean work. This ain't got nothing to do with like your. I, once, I, I, when I, my dermatologist was once paired, they had like one of those shared offices with a plastic surgeon and the plastic surgeon had like massive screens that played these videos of like the heroic work that this man was doing all over, not only America, but back. He was African and he would go

[David Borie]

back in Nigeria giving a big ass titties.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah,

[David Borie]

I bring titties to my village.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what? It. For you. For you, queen.

[David Borie]

They have no water, but the titties are abundant.

[Langston Kerman]

It was like.

[David Borie]

It was like one of those five sets a day videos. But the kid just has huge. It's just.

[Langston Kerman]

It's just big titty kids running next to his car as he waves at him. Like Muhammad Ali. Big old titties bouncing. They're so happy. No, his whole shit was like he was giving. He was doing like titty jobs in America, but back in, in his home, I think he was Ghanaian. I think back in Ghana he was doing breast reductions. That was his big shit was like he was helping to resolve, you know, back issues and save lives via these breast reductions.

[David Borie]

But I know that they got some big shit.

[Langston Kerman]

It seems great. Yeah. No, the videos were horrifying. Just mountainous women who look like they were in agony. Truly, he was doing positive work. But it was this insane thing of like, I'm here to get my acne resolved and I'm just watching video after video of this man in a three piece suit talking about how good of work he's doing back in his, his home country. And it just felt crazy, you know,

[David Borie]

that's why they called the motherland.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, because he taking them titties back.

[David Borie]

No, because they got big ass mama. Mama milkers. But that is, that is insane.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't want a flashy doctor. I think is my point. But more importantly, I guess I, I see how sort of like intentional this commercial seems. Do you know what I mean? Like, if nothing else, it seems like they are targeting a group when they get John Legend to be the voice of Pfizer. And I wonder what that specific group is. And what Dylan is saying doesn't feel that off base to me.

[David Borie]

I think for sure. I think for sure. I mean, I don't. I don't know the rates of blue flu shots within black people, women specifically. But it does feel like a concerted effort, which feels dark to me. I don't want my. Listen, I'm fine. Celebrities are shills. They're whores. That's the point of the job. Yeah, sell me Coca Cola. Don't tell me. Don't tell me to get a shot.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I think it's crazy, right? Because like on one end I 100% agree. We're going to have to sell things. And it's part of the nature of the beast. Truly, every fucking entertainment conglomerate is owned by a financial institution or tech. And so, like, you are eventually going to have to sell out. There's no exemption to that. Exception to that, rather. But on the flip side, you can make choices. You don't gotta be. You don't gotta be John Legend telling me to go get a fucking Pfizer shot.

[David Borie]

Come on.

[Langston Kerman]

That seems crazy.

[David Borie]

I would respect it more if you told me to get Viagra.

[Langston Kerman]

Mm.

[David Borie]

That would be cool.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Why? What's the difference for you?

[David Borie]

That's not like, a medical necessity.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, you're saying if you want to fuck around over here, come on and fuck around over here.

[David Borie]

He should have been in your big titty doctor's office like that. That is fine for me.

[Langston Kerman]

I get that. Yeah. I think that's. Maybe that's a good rule of thumb. Celebrities should only be allowed to endorse voluntary medicines, not ones that are meant to be, like, for real, life changing.

[David Borie]

I think that's great. Olivia says Travis Kelce is the spokesperson too.

[Langston Kerman]

Pfizer.

[David Borie]

Yeah, for the flu shots, I guess.

[Langston Kerman]

And that makes sense if you need to get black people on board. Black women on board. You go John Legend because they don't know who black women actually find sexy anymore. And then on the flip, you get Travis Kelsey, who white people have deemed very sexy, even though he's trying his hardest not to be.

[David Borie]

Damn. All right, but

[Langston Kerman]

did you see what he did to himself?

[David Borie]

No, I don't. I. Bro, I'm not watching any football this year.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, really?

[David Borie]

I cut the cord. Whoa.

[Langston Kerman]

Is this like a political stance or are you just like. I can't keep buying into this.

[David Borie]

I just can't. I just don't care anymore.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, Travis. Well, then you should know, Travis Kelce upon, sort of like pre Taylor Swift. Obviously he was getting, like, a high fade and.

[David Borie]

Oh, yeah, I remember that.

[Langston Kerman]

Was swagged out and shit. And now he looks like a cop. He just fully has transformed into, like, a thick mustache, no beard. He don't get his fade the way he used to anymore. He just truly has been like, I am a white man and I should have been the whole time.

[David Borie]

So he's like the white guys you went to high school with?

[Langston Kerman]

Yep. Yeah. Where he just grew up and was like, I'm a decent white man. I don't know what that phase was. I'm never gonna talk about it again.

[David Borie]

Yeah, he puts down the Sean John.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I'm gonna retire this and not for the reasons you think.

[David Borie]

Yeah,

[Langston Kerman]

I'm cool with Puff Daddy. I just. I just can't wear it anymore because I'm white.

[David Borie]

What's up baby?

[Langston Kerman]

It's Bretzky. And I'm here to tell you that spinquest.com is giving out free sweeps coins. All you got to do is purchase a $10 coin pack and guess what?

[David Borie]

They're going to give you the coins from a $30 coin pack that lets

[Langston Kerman]

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[Bombas Advertiser]

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[Yuresta Advertiser]

The bladder leak revolution is here and it's not what you think. Forget the pads, the leak proof underwear, or the Kegel video games. If you're leaking when you laugh, sneeze, cough or work out, you're definitely not alone. But just because it's common doesn't mean you have to live with it or manage it with pads and underwear that just soak up the mess. There is finally a better option and it's called Yesta. A doctor invented reusable vaginally inserted device that supports your bladder from within to stop leaks before they happen. Think of it as a sports bra for your bladder, providing support within during those moments of pressure like when you sneeze, jump, laugh or cough. No surgery, no prescription. You don't even have to remove Yiresta to use the bathroom. 97% of women see a reduction in leaks and 90% are still using it a year later. Go to yuresta.com to learn more about this amazing breakthrough trusted by over 50,000 women. That's u r e s t a

[Langston Kerman]

dot com this is Jacob Goldstein from what's yous Problem?

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[Langston Kerman]

that's o d o o dot com. We have the Start the Steal tour. We're very excited about it. I'm not about to bite my tongue. We want to sell it out, and the dates are coming up fast, and so if you live in one of these areas, we want you to buy your tickets. Now, it's all available on our Instagrams, on our websites, on our LinkedIn tree. But you can see us in Washington, D.C. on October 10th. Detroit, Michigan, on October 12th. Chicago, October 13th. October 17th. We're in LA, in Hollywood. We'll be in Atlanta on Halloween, October 31st. We want y' all to come out. We want y' all to kick it. We will be doing our coveted live show with special guests with just me and David depending on the city. It'll be a great time.

[David Borie]

All that meet and greets. You think Chris Brown has a good meet and greet, bro?

[Langston Kerman]

Let's be clear. I'll take a weird picture with you for free.

[David Borie]

Olivia also says black men may have better health outcomes when treated by black doctors. It's proven through various studies. I mean, I do think that that's true, but I think that's, like. Because we think so little of women in this place.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. My issue with the medical field, because I similarly have a lot of wariness around the doctor, I think my issue is more the compartmentalization of the doctor. Like, if I'm experiencing something, the only way I can even go and get the help that I need is to go through my general practitioner, as you know what I mean? Like, main person, and then they send me to the next person, and it's like, bro, if I'm really in pain or I'm really suffering or whatever it is, I just need to see a guy to fix or a lady to fix this. I don't. I don't want to have to take steps to take steps. That sucks.

[David Borie]

Yeah. That is also difficult. I needed to get a CPAP machine because I have really bad sleep apnea, and this shit took like five months.

[Langston Kerman]

That's nuts.

[David Borie]

We got to get these rich people doctors. That's what Dulce put me onto, that. She said all the good doctors. It's like, referrals only.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. No, I think if you can nail down one of them rich people, doctors, you get whatever you want, whenever you want it kind of thing.

[David Borie]

Yeah, yeah. You could call them at home. But all that to say, I think that this conspiracy. I think this is pretty plausible. I don't know about the reasoning so much as, like, when you go to things like this. I think the reasoning at least behind companies is always just more money. I don't think it's like, I don't think it's ever deeper than that. I think maybe they got like, oh, black people don't get flu shots. Who do? The blacks.

[Langston Kerman]

Like, yeah, yeah. You're saying it didn't. It didn't have to be deeper than that. It just. They needed a guy, and John Legend makes sense.

[David Borie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

He was.

[David Borie]

He was going to take the check that.

[Langston Kerman]

I. I don't disagree with that. I. I do think sometimes we put a weight to things that maybe don't need or. Or don't exist. Like, I don't think that sometimes we give white people and. And certainly evil white people more credit than they deserve. They're not brilliant masterminds. More often than not, they're just dudes who are like, I bet I could get richer if John Legend pretended to. To have gotten a flu shot. That said, I do think they start to recognize the benefits of certain things. And I do think that, like, it may not have been the original plan to create this dissension at home, but certainly I think they recognize, like, oh, seems like they're fighting a little bit about this. Maybe we should do a couple more of those just to see what that does. So I don't know that it was the original plan, but I don't think they're mad at the payoff.

[David Borie]

And here's the worst part for me, as fucked up as the system is, I do think that more black people going to the doctor is better than that.

[Langston Kerman]

No, 100%. And frankly, I think that whatever our fears are relating to certain medical practices or certain medical experiences, I think the flu shot ain't where they're gonna get us. Do you know what I mean? That, like, at the end of the day, we have a very legitimate reason to fear our relationship with medicine because of the history of this country. But I don't think they're aiming for us via the flu shot. I don't think they're aiming for us via Covid. I think they're gonna be aiming for us much, honestly, much closer to home with, like, the foods that we eat, the. The types of Recommendations or care that they offer when problems start to occur inside of families, right. That like, they will recognize, to your point about your medical experience, they will recognize a family history of certain ailments or diseases or disorders and say nothing. Because they do not see you as a potential person worth saving.

[David Borie]

Damn, I hate that.

[Langston Kerman]

It's the crazy part because they ask you to fill out these charts and you go, I do have any history of such and such, heart disease, diabetes, whatever. And I think we fill out those forms and they're like, nigga, I ain't reading this shit. Yeah, fuck out of here. You know what I mean? I think it's that energy that's truly where medicine is hurting us more than like. Like we're gonna put fucking promethazine in their flu shot and make em sleepy on it, you know what I mean? Like, I don't think it's that, man.

[David Borie]

This one, this really bumped me out.

[Langston Kerman]

It started off fun. I'd say,

[David Borie]

oh no. Oh no, you heard behind the curtain. Shit, this nigga in here listening to Ordinary People. I was gonna. I was, I was gonna queue it up so that I could just play the part where he's just on and we're just ordinary people. I thought that would be really funny. And then my computer snitched on me.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, your computer was like, hey, look at him.

[David Borie]

Look, look, look what he doing over here? Watch this dumbass video. Black and white, man.

[Langston Kerman]

I thought he was a genius on that song. I was like, man, John Legend is it.

[David Borie]

He would, man. Okay, here's what I will say. I think he was marketed to us that way in the same way that we've talked about it before. There was that whole genre of neo soul type of shit where it was like, are you smart? Listen to John Legend.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah. If you a dumb, dumb, just trying to get some ass, you'd listen to Jaheem. But if you really trying to. If you're really trying to grow with your lady, you gotta listen to some John Legend.

[David Borie]

Like, if you want some pussy, listen to Tank. Oh, man.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I. I do think that's true. I think he was sort of like meant to be this elevated artist because he could play the piano and was sort of like had a, you know, a quality of self seriousness about what he was doing that, that they really sold to us. And now he's selling Pfizer. And that I think maybe proves Dylan's point even more, that they made him a very legitimate person who we were meant to take seriously on matters of love and Care and being what it meant to be intimate. And now he is a mouthpiece often for the Democratic party. He's very happy to volunteer himself for all kinds of products. And one of the scariest of that list is fucking flu shots.

[David Borie]

Yeah, man. Well, just know, guys, you won't hear us doing that, but Honey pack, if you want to sponsor this shit, get at your boys.

[Langston Kerman]

Have you done a honey pack?

[David Borie]

No, but.

[Langston Kerman]

Are you taking one?

[David Borie]

No. Have you? No, no, I took. I took a. What was. I took a Blue Chew once a couple years ago and it didn't work actually.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, really?

[David Borie]

I didn't even need it. I just. Somebody gave me one. I was like, oh, see?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I never needed to be more horny. I'm doing pretty good just off of just a raw elements inside my own body, you know what I mean?

[David Borie]

It's one of the levels. I've maintained it very high.

[Langston Kerman]

If anything, I could use a horny suppressor. If there's anything out there that does that.

[David Borie]

You need like a honey pack silencer. Where's that? Where's that? How come they don't have like a medicine for those of us who get too horny throughout the day?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah.

[David Borie]

If you could take away my horny from 9 to 5pm I would get so much done, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

If there was a way to make me not horny when I'm trying to get real work done, I would, man. I would cruise.

[David Borie]

It would be gross. I'd be an addict. That's my limitless pill. A horny blocker.

[Langston Kerman]

What's the opposite of honey? Let's do a vinegar pack. We doing vinegar packs for all you boys out there that are too horned up just rock hard while you're trying to focus on your work. We handing out vinegar packs. And we getting you, right? We getting you.

[David Borie]

Come on. You sick of getting. You sick of getting rocked up at Home Depot.

[Langston Kerman]

A Vinny Pack. Hell yeah. We selling Vinny Packs, baby.

[David Borie]

This is a million dollar idea. I think we could get some money.

[Langston Kerman]

Dude, I think this is huge. If. Yeah. If anybody out there is. Is an investor, if anybody is sort of tied to any secret fortunes that they're willing to waste on solid ideas that we haven't thought through much. Send it all here because we got a good idea with these Vinny Packs.

[David Borie]

There we go. I think we did it.

[Langston Kerman]

This is it. That was it. We didn't take our second commercial. But Justin, please forgive us. I don't know.

[David Borie]

We're trying our best and honestly, we are just.

[Langston Kerman]

You failed. You Almost had it.

[David Borie]

And you fucking. That shit would have gone so crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

That would have gone crazy if you nailed it.

[David Borie]

I teed it up perfect. Oh, God damn it.

[Langston Kerman]

He can cut the fat off the front. If he cares about you, he'll do it.

[David Borie]

All right, Because I'm going to be in bed thinking about that at night.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. No, you f. Just know. I know you fucked up.

[David Borie]

Is that retaliation for the topless picture? I get it. I am just. God, I thought I could.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, man.

[David Borie]

No. Langston, do you want to tell the people where you're going to be at and what cool things you have going on? Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You can follow me at Langston Kerman on all social media platforms and you can see me on tour with David. It's the Start the Steel Tour. I believe this episode is right before the tour kicks off the release. And we are fucking pumped. D.C. then Detroit. Then Detroit. Detroit.

[David Borie]

Come out. Don't think about it. Come out. Bring everybody you love. Bring some people you hate.

[Langston Kerman]

Detroit. Stop playing with us.

[David Borie]

Come on out, Mel Mitchell.

[Langston Kerman]

Mel Mitchell's gonna be there.

[David Borie]

Leah. Vernon's gonna be there.

[Langston Kerman]

It's an insane lineup of folks. It's going to be a very good time. We would like for you to be there. Please come out. More importantly, not more importantly, but the entire tour is going to be crazy. So if you don't live in Detroit, Chicago, or dc, there's plenty of opportunities to come see us. And we want to see you out there.

[David Borie]

Yeah, exactly.

[Langston Kerman]

What you got.

[David Borie]

Cool guy jokes. 87 on Instagram, patreon.com davidbory D A V I D G B O R I E. Go on there. It's like 65 videos now. You could buy my special Birth of a Nation. It's very funny. And then, yeah, come see us on tour. Oh, also, October 24th through 27th, I'm gonna be at Rooster T Feathers in Sunnyvale, California, working on this new hour that is there. All right, I'm gonna talk to you for an hour.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borie]

Some of it good, some of it untested.

[Langston Kerman]

That's okay. You'll get the testing.

[David Borie]

Yeah, that's all I got.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. Well, as always, you can. You. You should send us your drops, your own conspiracies. If you want to tell us how we can, we can find some investors for our Vinnie Pack. Send it all to mymamapodmail.com. we would love to hear from you. Buy the merch. Like, subscribe. Oh, we've been talking about this. Listen, we. David and I are not social media experts. We are just two funny gentlemen who are not particularly good at the Internet but try our best every day. But we at My Mama Told Me, along with the folks at Big Money Players, are making a new concerted effort to transform our relationship with social media. We are going to have more consistent videos both on the Instagram, on the YouTube, on TikTok. All the shit is about to transform around here and we want your help. So subscribe, like do all the things, rate, review and tune in. Every Tuesday and Thursday the episodes are released and then every Wednesday and Friday you're going to see the videos on YouTube and they're going to be gorgeous videos. Crisp, crisp videos where you can see all the horrific things we say and do with each other. So send that, go check it out. Enjoy. If you're a person that likes to watch, it's available. If you're a person that prefers to listen, that's also available. We would love to engage with you and most importantly, buy the merch. Like rate review, buy tickets, buy buy your mom a nice Christmas gift. Bye bitch. We don't know which way to go. This sucks.

[David Borie]

This fucking sucks.

[Langston Kerman]

My Mama Told Me is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network

[David Borie]

and iHeart podcast, created and hosted by

[Langston Kerman]

Langston Kearney co hosted by David Bourie

[David Borie]

executive produced by Will Ferrell Hansani and

[Langston Kerman]

Olivia Aguilar co produced by Bay Wang

[David Borie]

Edited and engineered by Justin Kahman Music by Nick Chambers artwork by Dogon Krieger.

[Langston Kerman]

You can now watch episodes of My Mama told me on YouTube, follow ymama told me and subscribe to our channel.

[David Borie]

Get a full body reset anywhere you

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