Reality TV Ain't Real! Pt. 1 (with Kevin Fredericks fka KevOnStage)

Summary

My Momma Told Me — “Reality TV Ain’t Real! Pt. 1”

Podcast: My Momma Told Me
Hosts: Langston Kerman, David Gborie
Guest: Kevin Fredericks (KevOnStage)
Release Date: September 16, 2025
Theme: Black Conspiracy Theories—“Reality TV Ain’t Real!”

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Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into the Black conspiracy theory that reality TV is staged, with a focus on cooking competitions. Langston, David, and their guest, comedian Kevin Fredericks (KevOnStage), blend hilarious riffs, personal anecdotes, and sharp pop-culture critique. They explore the myth of unscripted television, its mechanics, and its broader cultural implications—while detouring through viral sports stories, wrestling, and even Air Bud’s unlikely reign as an American hero.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introductions & Banter

[02:23 - 04:30]

• Kevin immediately cracks jokes about David’s flag looking like “Steve Harvey’s teeth.”
• The trio riff about Black art and treating wealth humorously—"We just buy new Jordans, we’ll scuff them, we can buy new," says David [03:21].

2. Name Origins & Social Media Persona

[07:08 - 11:15]

• Kevin reveals he adopted the “KevOnStage” name on early Twitter to avoid getting fired at a day job:

  “I only called myself Kev on stage so I wouldn’t get fired...I was tweeting crazy. We was all tweeting crazy in the beginning.” — Kevin [07:13]

• Discussion about how online handles shape public perception.
• Joke about Black people always knowing the character, not the actor (“Winston Duke is just M’Baku”) [11:15].

3. Athletic Fat Guys & Zion Williamson

[12:12 - 16:01]

• A playful debate ensues about physically fit “big dudes” in sports, referencing players like Zion Williamson, Victor Wembenyama, and Glen Davis.
• Reflections on growing up and hearing legends about unusually athletic fat guys.

• “America doesn’t want to see an athletic fat man!” — Langston [12:12]

• Comedic account of Zion dunking on regular high schoolers, causing existential dread for his opponents [14:55].

4. Air Bud & Absurd Justice

[15:50 - 21:00]

• Extended riff: What if your son loses in basketball to a golden retriever (Air Bud)?

  “How do I explain to my son how the world works?...Life’s not fair, son. You actually need to learn that early. Fair is a place where pigs get judged!” — Kevin [17:24]

• Imagines Air Bud’s NIL deals, presidency, and and his suitability as an American icon.

  “There’s nothing in the Declaration of Independence that says he can’t be the president.” — Langston [19:13]

5. The Reality (or Not) of Reality TV

[23:37 - 29:15]

• Main Conspiracy: “Reality TV ain’t real,” especially cooking competitions.
• Kevin’s direct experience and doubts:

  “I was watching Barbecue Showdown…you mean to tell me these chefs are just coming in blind?...It’s a lie!” — Kevin [24:44] “First of all, I don’t think the clocks are real…I think it takes however long it takes and they just edit it!” — Kevin [26:25]

• Discussion of producer manipulation, staged “surprises,” and bad acting by real chefs.
• Parallels drawn to wrestling: We know it’s “fake,” but there’s supposed to be a baseline of believability [28:07].

6. Cooking, Leadership, and Kitchen Realism

[29:11 - 32:06]

• Jokey comparison between how chefs act on reality shows vs. real kitchen dynamics:

  “They talk like bad leaders. They never sound like a real leader…You would’ve said fuck!” — Langston [29:29]

• Food Network habits, skepticism about contestants’ range, and the “wheelhouse” of most real chefs and home cooks.

7. Inventing Black Sushi & Cultural Appropriation

[32:13 - 34:01]

• Spirited brainstorm for “Black Sushi”—e.g., fried catfish, collard greens, dirty rice—abandoning everything but the “roll” and outfit.

  “We vehemently deny all Japanese involvement.” — Kevin [33:37]

• They laugh about the perils and pitfalls of culinary creative fusion.

8. Wrestling, Persona, and the Art of Acting

[38:01 - 44:11]

• Using wrestling’s “kayfabe break” as a metaphor for TV honesty and persona performance.

• “I genuinely believed Undertaker and Kane were brothers...Now people say wrestlers should get acting awards!” — Kevin [38:12, 39:40]

• Parallels: The Rock, Drake, Rick Ross as masters of public character-creation.

• “Aubrey Graham’s greatest role is Drake.” — Kevin [42:16] “Rick Ross convinced us—a corrections officer!—to be the truth as a rapper.” — Kevin [43:57]

9. The Real History of Reality TV

[46:23 - 48:13]

• David’s research: reality TV’s origins predate TV, starting with “This is Your Life” on radio (1948).
• Jump from radio to early TV, then to shows like “Cops.”

• “Apparently the original reality [show]...I thought Cops was the beginning.” — Kevin [48:06]

10. Cops, Firemen, and Public Trust

[52:13 - 53:09]

• The difference in how society views police vs. firefighters.

• “Nobody has beef with firemen because firemen are the best, man. And they’re not planning fires!” — Kevin [52:47]

• Jokes on baby drop-offs at firehouses, the lack of sexy “policeman calendars,” and cultural mythology.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I don’t like Kev on stage...This is my year of relief.” — Kevin [07:33]
• “That’s the only reason I was using Twitter at the time. Early Twitter, when people was going crazy and getting fired.” — Kevin [07:19]
• “They brought out cool...special flame things...This is crazy, y’all. There’s no way these chefs are just coming in blind.” — Kevin [24:26]
• “The only motherfuckers I trust are firemen.” — David [57:21]
• “Aubrey Graham's greatest role is Drake. If you watch old videos of Drake when he was, like, Jewish and Canadian...that is an entirely different person.” — Kevin [42:16]
• “Rick Ross...he beat a corrections officer be truth, as a rapper...that's Oscar worthy.” — Kevin [43:57]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Name Talk & Internet Persona: 07:08 – 11:15
• Athletic Fat Guys & Zion Discussion: 12:12 – 16:01
• Air Bud as Cultural Figure: 15:50 – 21:00
• Reality TV Conspiracy Begins: 23:37 – 29:15
• Riffing on Chefs & Cooking Shows: 29:11 – 32:06
• Black Sushi Bit: 32:13 – 34:01
• Wrestling/Persona as Acting: 38:01 – 44:11
• History of Reality TV: 46:23 – 48:13
• Cops, Firemen, and Public Trust: 52:13 – 54:40

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Tone & Style

The tone is conversational, irreverent, and proudly Black. The hosts and guest freely mix pop culture, real talk, and hilarious tangents, rarely staying on-topic through their comedic chemistry.

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Who This Episode Is For

Anyone curious about Black folk conspiracies, the mechanics of “reality” TV, or just looking for rapid-fire hilarity with insightful digs at culture, media, and identity. And if you’ve ever doubted what you see on Food Network, this is your vindication.

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Listen Next:

This episode is labeled “Pt. 1,” and ends with the promise of a follow-up in next week’s episode.

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Social:
Follow @mymamatoldmepod on Instagram and TikTok; watch on YouTube.

Transcript

[Langston Kern]

This is an Iheart podcast.

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[Kevin Fredericks]

I was laughing because I just realized that flag behind David is Steve Harvey's teeth.

[David Borey]

That's right.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Steve Harvey. Every star.

[David Borey]

That's right.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

That is insane.

[Langston Kern]

Man.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I've been staring at I was like, why does this look vaguely familiar but I can't place it?

[Langston Kern]

You're like, I'm a patriot. Is this a. Is this one of them?

[Kevin Fredericks]

Just guess random things that 100 people have been surveyed on.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah, Survey, Sam.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Thank you. I'm sorry.

[David Borey]

For one of our finer pieces, I.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Would say really good art.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah, we have a great collection, but that is a. That's a jewel.

[Kevin Fredericks]

That's a piece.

[Langston Kern]

That's a jewel.

[Kevin Fredericks]

That's Basquiat level, I think so.

[Langston Kern]

Did you know this is actually the largest collection of black art on the West Coast?

[Kevin Fredericks]

I did not know that.

[David Borey]

And what we like to do is treat it like shit. We like to put little thumbtacks, but that's because we are so wealthy that we don't even think about it.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah. You're not passing this down here, children.

[David Borey]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Kevin Fredericks]

This is for to be seen.

[Langston Kern]

No, these are all originals. No prints.

[Kevin Fredericks]

No prints. No nft.

[Langston Kern]

No prints.

[David Borey]

We'll buy new Jordans. We'll scuffle. We can buy new.

[Langston Kern]

The government growing babies. Microchips in your anus.

All koala bears are racist. The ozone layer owes me money. Martians invented turkey stuffing.

Y' all can't tell me nothing.

[David Borey]

Peanut butter jelly. Peanut butter jelly. Peanut butter jelly and a baseball bat. There it is.

[Langston Kern]

There it is.

[David Borey]

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me the.

[Langston Kern]

Podcast, where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we.

[David Borey]

Finally work to prove. Not a goddamn thing.

[Langston Kern]

Nothing for you, we do. Nothing for you.

We not helping.

Nothing in return.

[David Borey]

We not helping. We not hurting.

[Langston Kern]

And that's positive.

[David Borey]

We're carbon neutral, baby.

[Langston Kern]

Come on. My footprint is zero.

[David Borey]

This planet's not gonna heal from us.

[Langston Kern]

No, no. But I'm not killing it either.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Hey, hey.

[David Borey]

We are not bad for you.

[Langston Kern]

I recycle.

[David Borey]

Come on.

[Langston Kern]

Do you recycle?

[David Borey]

Yeah, but I don't believe in it.

[Langston Kern]

Me either, man. It's really just my girl.

[David Borey]

I think it's all made up. It's really. Yeah, I just. I'd feel like less of a man to tell my children. You know what I mean? Nah, you ain't gotta put that in the bin. Yeah, but I don't think. I think they're putting it all in the same bowl.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I've been saying that.

[David Borey]

No.

[Kevin Fredericks]

It's like. I don't know if I can talk.

[David Borey]

No.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Jump in.

[Langston Kern]

Come in.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Come in. They're not. If I were working at the trash.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kern]

I just feel like I'd be ready to. And remind me what that title is.

[David Borey]

Working out.

[Langston Kern]

Trash. Man. If I work down in the trash.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And I was a trash man, you think I care?

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I want to go, man.

[David Borey]

I got to go home.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I have a firm belief that most People don't care about their jobs. They're not good at them. They just want to do the minimum requirement and get out of there, bro.

[David Borey]

It stinks so bad there.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah, it stinks.

[Langston Kern]

You know what I mean?

[David Borey]

And it's never not a new smell. So you're never going to get used to it. No, this is just gonna be a violence against your nose every day. You think I give a fuck if.

[Langston Kern]

Your can didn't go in the right bag? Cause Matcha.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah, Matcha wasn't a smell for them.

[Langston Kern]

For a long time. What is that? Let's go. That's crazy. What is that?

Nobody talks about how Matcha fucked up.

The trash industry, bro.

[Kevin Fredericks]

They had to have a meeting.

[Langston Kern]

Are you serious? I'm sure they had to be like.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yo, Matcha is really like, man, this is a strong odor.

[David Borey]

Hey, boss, we gonna have to go up on the wages.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Come on, man. Matcha it came and messed the game up. There's whole Matcha businesses.

[David Borey]

If this is gonna be it, this is not okay.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Thank you, man.

[Langston Kern]

No, yeah. There's like Matcha sides of town. I'm sure, bro.

[Kevin Fredericks]

There's Matcha sides of town. There's like so many small businesses that have popped up that are like Matcha focused.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah. And I'm gonna say it. It tastes like dirt.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Tastes like hot grass milk.

[Langston Kern]

That shit nasty.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Sorry, can I interrupt? Oh, man.

[Langston Kern]

Damn. Where's going?

[Kevin Fredericks]

That was a good vibe.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah, sorry.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Damn good, man. You came in with a glass. Nah, it's cool. Find it again.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah, he came in. I saw him behind you.

[Kevin Fredericks]

People start coming.

[Langston Kern]

That's why I desperately tried to step in. I was like, no.

[David Borey]

If I just whisper.

[Langston Kern]

We'Ll remain best friends. We brothers for life right now you fucking this up.

We was going to get T shirts.

[Kevin Fredericks]

We had it, man. That was a T shirt order. Get it out of there.

[Langston Kern]

I want to wear the same clothes as my friends so bad.

[David Borey]

I want to go by laying on stage so bad.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I actually don't want to be. I don't like that I go by Kev on stage.

[David Borey]

No, no.

[Langston Kern]

You want to be Kevin Fredericks.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I want to be Kevin. And it's like there's not a. I only called myself Kev on stage so I wouldn't get fired.

[Langston Kern]

Whoa.

[Kevin Fredericks]

That's the only reason I was using Twitter at the time. Early Twitter, when people was going crazy and getting fired.

[David Borey]

I'm gonna be honest. This is breaking news.

[Langston Kern]

This is huge.

I don't like Kevon stage. I don't think you've Said this. No.

[Kevin Fredericks]

This is my year of relief.

[Langston Kern]

Whoa.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Because I feel like there wasn't, like, a thing. It wasn't like, oh, let me create this thing. I was just, like, in a panic because I was tweeting crazy. We was all tweeting crazy in the beginning.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah.

We was all people crazy.

[Kevin Fredericks]

We ran traditional celebrities off of Twitter.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

For the most part, they are gone. You cannot stop Twitter. There's nothing to stop, bitch.

[David Borey]

You have to hire a man to hire a man to tweet for.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yes. Because the replies, like Instagram, you can comment limit. You can hide Twitter, you can't do nothing.

[Langston Kern]

And I wasn't even tagging the right people.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Oh, yeah.

[Langston Kern]

Sorry. Orecarl. Not at the real George Carl. I'm sorry. You have a job, man. I was going nuts. That's cool.

But, yeah. What, you go to Sam Perkins, like.

[David Borey]

Bro, my ad is George Carl's Jr. I was being silly.

[Kevin Fredericks]

You're being weird. Why are you tweeting at me?

[David Borey]

Stop.

[Kevin Fredericks]

But, yeah, my Twitter handle was Evan Fredericks. Right.

[Langston Kern]

Right.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And I just was like, man, if I get. I ended up getting fired from that job anyway. Unrelated to tweets.

[David Borey]

Okay, Y' all fucked up. Look how much money he could have.

[Langston Kern]

Made for your company, you fucking fool.

[Kevin Fredericks]

But I was just like. I was doing standup. I was early in my standup career, and I was just like, man, I just. I'm Kevin. I be on stage.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And that was it. And then what's interesting is I've been Kev onstage so long, people don't even know my name is Kevin. They think my name is Kevon.

[Langston Kern]

Oh, yo.

[Kevin Fredericks]

They think my name is Kevon. And some people actually believe. Seriously, my last name is Stage. And when I ran to them, I'm like, have you ever met anybody else whose last name is Stage?

[David Borey]

That's not a thing.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And I'm like, that's not a name. They're like, there's all kind of names that are new that I haven't heard of.

[Langston Kern]

No, that's. I've gotten. Cause when I was on Twitter, I got off early. I got off in Pandemic. My last name is Bori. So my Twitter was. The G is silent. Yeah. And I would run into people, and they'd be like, what is a jizzilin? And I would have to be.

[David Borey]

Because they didn't understand what they didn't understand. You were the Jiz. As far as they know, you were the jizzlyn.

[Langston Kern]

I was the jizzlyn. They'd be like, that's such a funny name. It doesn't make any sense.

[David Borey]

I will say that every time I think about your Twitter handle. I had to think about it.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

I had to go like, all right, the G is.

[Langston Kern]

No, it wasn't a smooth. It wasn't a smooth move. Cool guy jokes. 87 is working out, though. Really good at naming myself on the Internet.

Hey, brother, I know you think you got it. This is the king of brands.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Email address, name.

[Langston Kern]

I see you hot right now, but this the man that got it.

I literally was like, what are three things I got? This is gonna be cool, though.

[Kevin Fredericks]

This is gonna be good. Oh, snap.

[David Borey]

Kevin Fredericks is here, everybody.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And then there's the whole Hollywood aspect, too. It's like, what do I go by? Do I go by Kevin? Kevin on stage? Like, I had to have a meeting.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

With my agents, and I was like, this is a stupid meeting to have.

[David Borey]

Yeah. There's.

[Langston Kern]

Do you feel like you can take it back at this point?

[Kevin Fredericks]

Take Jake Frederick's back. I think you can get it. Oh, the actual handle.

[Langston Kern]

No, just like your personhood behind your name.

Oh, yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Well, luckily that Kev on stage is really just a performative version of my actual personality. It's not like a separate entity, so that much I'm not worried about. And, like, at this point, you know black people. The guy who Winston Duke. He ain't Winston Duke. He's just m', Baku, man. Doesn't matter what he does. He can win three Oscars in a row for three very different films. Mbaku did it again. Y' all like, black people. Just whatever you are, you are.

[Langston Kern]

I didn't know who Winston Duke was till just now. I'm gonna be completely hon. Langston started shaking his head, and I was like, it must be a music thing. Yeah.

But you know who embark, and that's.

[Kevin Fredericks]

How black people do, bro. They don't. So I'm like, it don't really matter. Yeah.

[David Borey]

Like, I get a few muscles. I get a part in Black Panther. I get to be whoever the fuck I want to be. I got you new handles.

[Langston Kern]

Killmonger. Fat Killmonger.

Fat Killmonger.

[Kevin Fredericks]

They got some juice to it, though.

[Langston Kern]

Yo.

[Kevin Fredericks]

That's Killmonger. Would work.

[Langston Kern]

That could be good.

[David Borey]

It actually scares me more than regular Killmonger.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

You know what I mean? Because in my mind, this one of them fat dudes that can still flip and shit.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yep.

[Langston Kern]

Yep. Bear me in the pool. Bury me in the park.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Like tackle. Why are you that fast? You're too big to be that fast? Like, nah. And I could jump out the pool.

[Langston Kern]

Did you see that dude? Yeah.

[David Borey]

He jumped out and I'm like, yo, you're a psychopath.

[Kevin Fredericks]

You really shouldn't be able to be that athletic.

[Langston Kern]

America doesn't want to see us an athletic flat man.

And I'm not the one.

But there are. There are ones.

[David Borey]

He's coming for sure.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah, there are ones.

[Kevin Fredericks]

That Victor Wembena is really going to mess the NBA up. Tall was different.

[Langston Kern]

That's what y' all thought.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Oh, seven feet gonna change the game?

[Langston Kern]

Nah, short of that.

He's from France, too.

And we always had Khalid El Amieh. Khalid El Amieh. I was like, yo, this is what we need.

[Kevin Fredericks]

He's fat and he's athletic.

[Langston Kern]

Hey, shout out to Glen Davis. Fat enough.

Glenn Davis. Fat enough.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Fat enough.

[David Borey]

I think that is why Zion was such a big disappointment for people.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I had hopes in him.

[David Borey]

I think everybody believed that a miracle had happened and we got fat.

[Langston Kern]

Well, now it's not a miracle. Lex is doing that shit where he's inserting his thin agenda.

No, no, no.

Fat people can be athletic. It's not a miracle.

Let's just be honest, brother.

[David Borey]

It's more of a rarity than the skinny version.

[Langston Kern]

That's not true.

Athleticism has nothing to do with physical fitness. Well, I think it does in the form of, like, gaining muscle and shit like that. But, like, athleticism is just.

[David Borey]

I'm not talking about regular physical fitness. I'm talking about a God amongst men.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Right?

[David Borey]

And that is what Zion represented, right?

[Langston Kern]

He.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Then.

[David Borey]

He was just a dude who liked bad bbls. And that's not the same thing.

[Langston Kern]

That's a place to get caught up.

[Kevin Fredericks]

It was like they were comparing him to, like, which is so funny. His highlights from high school was like, can you imagine finishing seventh period? And then you're guarding him, bro, these kids, it didn't look like y' all was at the same place.

[Langston Kern]

No, they need to, like, they need to separate high schools. This sounds terrible, but, like, you don't get to just play again.

What am I gonna tell my son? I tell him to work hard every.

Day, work hard, go in the gym all summer, and then maybe you'll get on varsity.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And now Zion Williamson is.

[David Borey]

He never had a chance.

[Kevin Fredericks]

What's he gonna do, bro?

[Langston Kern]

Now you gotta go talk to your girlfriend. Those kids had girlfriends.

They were like regular sized children. You know what? They did, too.

[David Borey]

And this is really the brilliance of Zion's family is they mostly circulated videos of him dunking on white Children.

[Langston Kern]

And that was good for us.

[David Borey]

That was huge.

[Langston Kern]

I am into that.

[David Borey]

It was huge for us. It was huge for Zion because every.

[Langston Kern]

Zion was huge for Zion.

Every clip made him look like a monster.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Oh, my God.

[Langston Kern]

Like an absolute monster.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And I don't think he went to, like, super basketball high.

[Langston Kern]

No.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Like, these are like regular children who are just like, we not. Come on, man.

[David Borey]

He was just in the wrong school district at the right time.

[Langston Kern]

It was just a kid who worked at rallies.

That's it, man. Like, you gotta flip burgers after this. This kid is like 6, 5, 200 PO.

[Kevin Fredericks]

These kids were, like, helpless, bro.

[Langston Kern]

They're like, what are you gonna do?

I have a job.

[David Borey]

It's everywhere.

[Langston Kern]

Nobody's looking away from this job, man.

You know, he was sick that whole week. He had to guard side.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Oh, my God.

[Langston Kern]

He had to wake up every day.

[Kevin Fredericks]

On a belly full of chocolate milk and spaghetti.

[Langston Kern]

Like, you hit chocolate milk and spaghetti.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And then threw the whistle and your.

[Langston Kern]

Dog'S dunkin on you because you don't.

[David Borey]

Even go to a good enough school where they know to give you a different diet.

[Langston Kern]

Oh, what diet do you. What's the D to make a boy fight a man.

[Kevin Fredericks]

You're right. It doesn't matter. You better have a nutritionist.

[Langston Kern]

Lettuce.

[David Borey]

Lettuce ain't gonna do.

[Langston Kern]

Feed that little boy some steroids. There's no situation.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

You gotta change the rules. Like airbud.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

To beat whatever that is.

[Langston Kern]

He's like airbud.

[David Borey]

He is airbud.

[Langston Kern]

He's more like airbud than he is like a lot of other athletes.

[David Borey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kern]

Don't get me started on AirBud. AirBud pissed me off. Okay. You're a father on the other team. This is how I think about it. You understand what I'm saying? You teached your son. Taught your son fundamentals.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah.

[Langston Kern]

There's a dog out here. How do I explain to my son how the world works?

Yeah.

How do I explain to him how the world. What's justice.

Yeah.

Was justice. When they let that animal.

They let a wild animal.

[David Borey]

I can't say it like that.

[Langston Kern]

I can't say it like that. I'm a be animal. I'm a be animal. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me.

Don't do this to me.

No, no, no.

You're an animal.

[David Borey]

You're 100% right. Just. Just relax a little bit.

[Langston Kern]

It's just crazy.

[Kevin Fredericks]

It's just like he's hooping and he's hooping with the snout. And then you're lobbing and he's. And then you heard about him going in, bro.

[Langston Kern]

And then you heard about him and you're like, okay, thank God. Thank God I taught my kid to play football. Airbud 2 golden receiver. You know what I mean? It's like, trash, bro. That shit's.

That's.

[Kevin Fredericks]

It's not cool.

[David Borey]

I never even considered two sport kids, bro.

[Langston Kern]

Can't you really just terrorize him into a small tail?

[David Borey]

It never occurred to me that this dog could be, like, hurting a. Twice.

[Kevin Fredericks]

He's in all the newspapers. Yeah.

[Langston Kern]

Come on. You don't think he became Sheriff Bud after this? Oh, my God. You don't think that's how that. Come on, man.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Can't rid himself, Air Bud.

[Langston Kern]

He's been ruining my life since ninth grade. He runs this test.

[David Borey]

They're trying to sneak chocolate and grapes in the locker room just to make this sick.

[Langston Kern]

We gotta take everybody out. He's killing us.

[Kevin Fredericks]

But the life lesson there is, if I'm the parent, I'm like, life's not fair, son. You actually need to learn that early. Right? You think this is right? You think life is fair? Fair is a place where pigs get judged.

[Langston Kern]

I like that.

[Kevin Fredericks]

It's not right.

[Langston Kern]

I like that. And everybody's cooking you.

[Kevin Fredericks]

He had a triple double. How's the dog getting rebounds? I get the points aspect.

[Langston Kern]

How is he getting rebounds, man? I can see grasses. This is craz. Foul the dog, man. Foul him.

[David Borey]

Yeah, you gotta. You can seriously injure.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Throw a tennis ball.

[Langston Kern]

We gotta switch it up.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Use his dog stuff against him.

[David Borey]

It's really crazy. They didn't try dog stuff.

[Kevin Fredericks]

There's no treats. Nobody's ever dropping little salmon treats.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah, nobody begging strips.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Come on, man. There's no game plan.

[David Borey]

You're not scheming for dumb fucking dog.

[Langston Kern]

He's a dog at heart.

And I know he's not eligible. Right?

He's not going to class.

No, this dog can really. His dog's gonna take the SATs.

[David Borey]

Guys, according to my calculations, Air Bud is 49 years old.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah, that's a good point.

[David Borey]

That is a grown man.

[Langston Kern]

High school eligibility done.

[David Borey]

Man, he should not be here at all.

[Kevin Fredericks]

He's got an nil deal, man.

[Langston Kern]

This is crazy.

His nil would go crazy.

What?

Because now he has petsmart as well.

[Kevin Fredericks]

He's got petsmart? He's got Dog lovers.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

That would be huge. That would be huge. Arch Manning thinks he's got money. Aaron Buck, he's killing Arch Manning on the nil.

[David Borey]

Fuck, man.

[Langston Kern]

He's sponsored by Draft Kings. It's like a right.

[David Borey]

Damn.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Enter promo code.

[Langston Kern]

Woof.

[Kevin Fredericks]

$10 off your first bet. Now I'm a degenerate gambler because of AirBuds.

[Langston Kern]

AirBud ruined my favorite. Where does it stop? It doesn't. It doesn't. In the presidency.

President Bud.

President Bud.

There's nothing in the Declaration of Independence that says he can't be the president. And we would be the country to be like, yeah.

[David Borey]

I mean, a dog can run.

[Kevin Fredericks]

A dog can run.

[Langston Kern]

We've had worse celebrities is all.

[David Borey]

Honestly, I kind of want Air Bud to be the president.

[Langston Kern]

Come on. You don't.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I'm gonna be honest with you.

[Langston Kern]

What are you gonna tell your children?

[David Borey]

I'm gonna be honest with you, man. We not going to war. AirBuds president.

[Langston Kern]

Oh, God.

I think he would do a lot for foreign negotiations.

[David Borey]

I think he could tip a missile out the sky with his nose.

[Langston Kern]

Cause they didn't really put like, I.

[David Borey]

Dare you to bomb us.

[Langston Kern]

There was no restriction on what he could do physically. So I.

[David Borey]

Man, that.

[Kevin Fredericks]

That.

[Langston Kern]

You think Air Bud can't knock a nuclear bomb in a different direction. He' became the president. There's no limits. There's no limits. He can knock it. Knock that ship to Saudi Arabia, baby.

[Kevin Fredericks]

It's so funny, man.

[Langston Kern]

Also weirdly, negotiate peace in the Middle East.

[David Borey]

Come on, man.

[Kevin Fredericks]

You guys want to do this? He's just like, yeah, like, we don't got to do well. Come on. He's just cute, y'.

[David Borey]

All.

[Langston Kern]

Look at his eyes.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Get all that.

[Langston Kern]

He's just a good boy.

[Kevin Fredericks]

He's a good boy, man.

[Langston Kern]

He ain't even the president. He ain't even going to be alive that long. Come on, let him be president, man. Let him be president, y'. All. Let him be president.

[Kevin Fredericks]

He's not to going make the first time.

[Langston Kern]

Purebred dog. He gonna die soon.

They got bad hips.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I don't think there's a more American dog than a golden retriever. No, that is an eagle dog. That is the eaglest dog that you can have.

[Langston Kern]

That's the bald eagle.

[Kevin Fredericks]

If we didn't have the bald eagle, it would absolutely be a golden retriever.

[David Borey]

If their future is to evolve into an animal with wings, that is correct for sure. You know what I mean? That's the. That's the animal that would grow wings.

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[David Borey]

Kev, you came to us with a conspiracy that we haven't touched yet.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yes.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah, but we've been having a good time.

[David Borey]

Yes, this has been really fun. I generalized it. But you have a very specific angle on this conspiracy. But the general sort of gist that I got from you is my mama told me reality TV ain't real.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yes.

[David Borey]

Tell me everything to the blessings of God.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah, here's my thing. I was watching Barbecue Showdown on Netflix, which is a great program. I mean a great way to spend a Friday evening. This is my life now let's go.

[Langston Kern]

I'm like, Friday night.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Friday night. Okay. And, you know, Friday night, baby, barbecue showdown.

[Langston Kern]

All right.

[David Borey]

Okay.

[Kevin Fredericks]

We got through six episodes.

[David Borey]

You and the missus.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Me and my wife are watching Meats Get Smoked.

[Langston Kern]

Okay.

[Kevin Fredericks]

They brought out the cool. I don't forget what it's called. But they got, like, the special flame things. This is crazy, y'.

[Langston Kern]

All.

[David Borey]

Hey, y', all feel free to clip up. Me and my wife love watching meats Give smoke.

[Langston Kern]

Give smoke.

[David Borey]

If you wanna just isolate that and keep that for yourself, you go ahead and do that.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Give smoke. So I'm watching this, and they've got this whole refrigerator of, like, all these different meats and stuff. And I'm like, there's no way. You mean to tell me these chefs are just coming in blind and they have no idea what they're gonna make?

[Langston Kern]

Yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And you open this freezer full of, like, every meat known to man that you can throw on a grill and things I've never even seen grilled before. They were, like, grilling duck wings one time, and you want me to believe they have no idea what to make? Right. It's a lie, man.

[Langston Kern]

Oh, you think?

How.

Okay, my question is, how staged do you think? Do you think they're coming in like, hey, we got duck in there?

[Kevin Fredericks]

I think it's fully staged. I think the only thing that that's true is how good it tastes. The whole Iron Chef. I'm on to all of you.

[Langston Kern]

Iron Chef, Bobby Flay, we calling you out. Ingredient.

[Kevin Fredericks]

You think they're just open? You know how it's just garlic?

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And the clock starts.

[David Borey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

No Google, no chat. GPT. Like, okay, garlic.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Okay.

[Kevin Fredericks]

In my head, I know I'm gonna make a garlic pate with. With stuffed roast. And everything you need is every ingredient known to man. Everything you need mysteriously, is just there.

[David Borey]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Because the stuff's not just, like. It's not always just salt, pepper, you know, bacon, and it's like, sometimes some very specific ingredients. Cardamom and cardamom.

[Langston Kern]

You don't have that on hand.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah.

[Langston Kern]

You don't have it.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kern]

You gotta go and make sure you.

[David Borey]

Get that what you've imagined requires something that is not available.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And this is. This is the tv, y'.

[David Borey]

All. Yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

They don't leave nothing to chance.

[Langston Kern]

This is production.

[Kevin Fredericks]

First of all, I don't think the clocks are real. I don't think it only takes an hour. I think it takes however long it makes you take, and they just edit it Because.

[David Borey]

And then they just go. You're saying at the end, they just go, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. And everybody just runs.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And they just edit it to make. I don't even think people finish at the same time.

[Langston Kern]

Well, okay, I will say that I.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Think it's all a lie, because that.

[Langston Kern]

Plating section, you ever notice when it's like. Like, they're plating it and they're like.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yes.

[Langston Kern]

It never looks like it does. When they set it down.

[Kevin Fredericks]

When they set it down, it looks like it's been plated for an hour.

[Langston Kern]

Was I doing too much hand stuff?

[Kevin Fredericks]

That felt.

[David Borey]

No, you're gonna. You got some in your hair.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah, man. We gotta run back the airbud rip.

[Kevin Fredericks]

He would have made sure that didn't happen, producing that.

[David Borey]

You watch your mouth. That's President Podcast 48 to you.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Come on, man. There you go, man. That's brotherhood, y'. All.

[David Borey]

We gotta pray for you.

[Langston Kern]

Was that there for the whole air thing?

[Kevin Fredericks]

It appeared from somewhere.

[David Borey]

It appeared later. That's my concern, and it is concerning for us.

[Langston Kern]

There's asbestos in here.

[David Borey]

In that way, we can only record for an hour at a time before the mist gets to you. You'll get dizzy.

[Langston Kern]

We don't want start smell apples.

[David Borey]

Okay. Reality tv.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yes.

[David Borey]

Are you strictly at the foods? Are you like. Nah, that's the only time I'm calling the bluff.

[Kevin Fredericks]

No, no, no. I mean, there's a clip from. I think it was Jersey Shore. You guys drank at exactly the same time with your same hand.

[Langston Kern]

Shit.

[David Borey]

Fuck.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Wow.

[David Borey]

Fuck.

[Kevin Fredericks]

You're in sync.

[David Borey]

All right. That's a good way to enter.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah, that's good.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I like that.

[Langston Kern]

But it's not just chemistry.

[Kevin Fredericks]

No, no, it's just chemistry.

[David Borey]

I thought you were gonna call us AI versus No, no, no, no.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I've accepted that word. There was a clip. I wan. And you can see, like, a producer's hand throw water on one of the girls, and then it starts a fight. Like, there's a whole clip of, like, all the times the producers interacted. Like, Love Island. I watched Love island with my wife. I'm like. You can see production's thumbs all over. And I think with, like, wrestling, it's the same thing. You gotta establish, like, we know it's predetermined, but there's a certain amount of believability that we, you know, do. But I think they're asking too much.

[David Borey]

You're saying you would be happy with Iron Chef if they just told you the truth? And everybody got to make a Dope meal.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Right.

[David Borey]

Under. Under harder circumstances, I'm still competing against you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Why do we have to act like, I'm just thinking of this off the top of my head. And the chefs, they're not always good actors. So that's what. They're just like, ugh, garlic. What am I gonna do? It sounds like anime villain. The onions, like, I just. They're not trained.

[Langston Kern]

I don't like onion powder.

Yeah, exactly.

[Kevin Fredericks]

So it pulls me behind. It takes away the believability too much for me sometimes I don't like when.

[David Borey]

They yell for that reason.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yes.

[David Borey]

When they're like, we gotta hurry up, and it's like, ah, that's not how. That's not how you talk in the kitchen, man.

[Kevin Fredericks]

That's not you.

[David Borey]

Whatever.

[Langston Kern]

They also talk like bad leaders. They never sound like a real leader.

[David Borey]

When they do that.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah.

[Langston Kern]

Come on, guys. There's seven minutes, and it's like, I.

I don't think that's. I think you would have said fuck.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah, exactly. And I agree that they probably yell in kitchens.

[David Borey]

Right. Like, I watched the bear 100%.

[Langston Kern]

I know everything.

[David Borey]

And why would the bear lie to us?

[Langston Kern]

Why would the bear lie? They did a oner. They did a oner.

[David Borey]

They're the most honest show on television.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Absolutely. I didn't know they said heard in the kitchen until the bear. No, I actually didn't realize. I didn't know anything about kitchen, and now the bear has taught me it's the, er, of the kitchen. Like, this is what it's really like. You guys think it's fun back here, man. They're making. Now you are dying.

[David Borey]

Some people. No, some people stuck in the freezer.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Some people stuck in the freezer.

[Langston Kern]

I always knew that, though, because chefs are intense. Yeah. You ever met chefs in real life? It's always, like, too intense, I guess. Like, I don't know if you are a chef or you play rock and roll music.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah.

[Langston Kern]

You know what I mean?

[David Borey]

It demands you find it sexy.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah, yeah.

[David Borey]

It, like, it tells you you will think of me as a sexual being.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

I wasn't even on that, bro. No, no, no.

[Langston Kern]

I just like pancakes. Yeah.

I didn't eat pancakes.

[David Borey]

I heard you make a good stat.

[Langston Kern]

I know when you're back there yelling at people 1,000%. Absolutely. Like, and that's good for them. Good for them.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Absolutely. This is your job. Take it seriously.

[David Borey]

At what point do you think you started to realize this?

[Kevin Fredericks]

I. First of all, I watch a lot of Food Network.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Love Food Network. And I remember I was watching Iron Chef, and I just was like, they pulled out a really random thing, and I'm just like, man, there's just.

[David Borey]

I believe, like, one of my ingredients is nickel.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah, I'll figure it out.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I was just like, man, that's like, I believe first. I believe most chefs have, like, a wheelhouse of stuff that they make.

[Langston Kern]

Right.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And I just remember it was like, Faye was cardamom. And I'm just like, okay. And these were not, like, Iron Chefs. These are just like, man, I own this restaurant. We make Southern home kitchen back in here or whatever. Like, and now you just off the top of your head without thinking. My grandma, for example, amazing cook, but she's basically cooking her stuff.

[Langston Kern]

The same.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Her same wheelhouse?

[Langston Kern]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Her same 20, 28 things.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

She's never just like, man, beef Wellington, y'. All. I'm gonna just start with that. Like, grandma, you ain't never done that duck confit. Yeah.

[Langston Kern]

Grandma not venturing out.

She sushi.

And you're like, man, Grandma ain't never did that. There's no way I'm eating that.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I'd rather eat gas station sushi than my grandma sushi because.

[Langston Kern]

What are you doing, Ruthie? You ain't never. You ain't ever acted this way. You have not behaved in this matter in 42 years.

[David Borey]

It's just a fried catfish rolled in a. Rolled in a piece of cabbage rice in the middle.

[Kevin Fredericks]

It's pretty good.

[Langston Kern]

Of went black sushi.

[David Borey]

I'm not going to.

[Langston Kern]

L hear me out.

[David Borey]

I'm not going to lie. We.

[Langston Kern]

We maybe shut the camera.

[Kevin Fredericks]

We should have a food truck inside right now.

[Langston Kern]

How have we not done black sushi yet?

[Kevin Fredericks]

We nigged it up.

[David Borey]

I think we got you a new name. Kev in the kitchen.

[Langston Kern]

Oh, I thought you were going to say black sushi.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah.

[Langston Kern]

First of all, it would be amazing. That would be really.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I mean, I'm sure somebody's already done it. Somebody's watching this. Like, oh, I already have this. Glass fish is my thing. We're in New Orleans right now, going crazy.

[Langston Kern]

I mean, I've eaten off a lot.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Of trucks going by.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah. I haven't never seen it.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Never seen it. Catfish roll with actual catfish.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Collard green wrapped in collard greens.

[Langston Kern]

It's right there.

[David Borey]

It's that dirty rice on.

[Kevin Fredericks]

It's the dirty rice.

[Langston Kern]

No, you're still here.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Instead of the regular rice, you're still here.

[David Borey]

That's what we.

[Kevin Fredericks]

That's where you really smooth me. Cause I was Kind of witchy with the dirty rice. I said, hold on, let me turn this plate.

[David Borey]

I think we have to fully abandon. Abandon all things Japanese in this.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Absolutely. Yes.

[David Borey]

Like, I think the danger, true appropriation, the danger that people often find themselves in is they try to keep a little bit of that something that they borrowed from.

[Langston Kern]

We say no.

[Kevin Fredericks]

No. We say no.

[David Borey]

Get that out of here.

[Kevin Fredericks]

We vehemently deny all Japanese involvement.

[David Borey]

Brother, I don't even speak that language.

[Langston Kern]

This is Japanese in name only.

Matter of fact, we ain't even doing.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Now it's fried chicken. Yeah. In a collard green roll and dirty roll.

[David Borey]

We dishonor you in all of your traditions.

[Langston Kern]

Hey, same chef outfit though.

[David Borey]

Same chef outfit.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Absolutely.

[David Borey]

And you do it in the open.

[Langston Kern]

Oh, like you come to the restaurant.

[David Borey]

Like, like how you sit at the sushi bar and then you sit and you watch somebody cut fine pieces of man of fried chicken. Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yes.

[David Borey]

We gotta take a break. I don't know what else to do at this point. We're gonna take a break. We're gonna come back, we're gonna talk more about this conspiracy theory. More Kevin Fredericks.

[Kevin Fredericks]

More.

[David Borey]

My mama told me.

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[Langston Kern]

We'Re not going to let.

Joe Biden and Kamal, Kamala Harris cut America's meat.

That's dead on that. That's dead on that.

[David Borey]

We're back. That's that on that. We're back. We're, we're here, frankly. Let's just start it like it's the beginning. Our guest today, we haven't even done any formal introduction. Our, our guest today is one of the busiest goddamn motherfuckers on the planet. This man be working and he be working hard and he be working good. He makes amazing shit. He's a hilarious comedian. You know from his new series the Hospital on bet. You know from his second season hit series on bet, Churchy, you know him from his brand new book, successful Failure. Give it up for the hilarious Kevin Fredericks, y'.

[Langston Kern]

All.

[David Borey]

We're still talking about this possibility that reality TV ain't real. Specifically these cooking shows being like the most flagrant. It sounds like offensive in that they won't just tell you the truth of all the realities.

[Kevin Fredericks]

In the same way wrestling eventually had to be like, all right, man, like, we're dropping the kayfabe aspect. Cause I don't think wrestling continues on the way it is now.

[Langston Kern]

If they kept it, it's crazy.

[Kevin Fredericks]

You can't, you couldn't.

[Langston Kern]

It's like the whole, it seems to be a whole aspect of their business model is insight into what is really going on. Right. Like that Netflix show. They would have never done that. I don't think 10 years ago they would have done that.

[Kevin Fredericks]

No.

[David Borey]

I think about it all the time of how I genuinely believed Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

[Kevin Fredericks]

It was real. He was from Death Valley. That was like, this is real.

[David Borey]

I thought his dad really looked like that.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yes.

[Langston Kern]

I thought mankind was a guy. I thought that was a guy. Yeah. I Thought that was a real guy locked in a basement and they let him out and wrestle.

[David Borey]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And I was old enough to know then, right? Like, as a kid, you know, it was like, papa Shango, he is killing the ultimate warrior right now, and you guys are nobody. Black blood is coming out of his mouth, and you guys are just rolling.

[Langston Kern]

Nobody's gonna do anything about dying. Send someone in. He's my favorite wrestler. Like, forget he is dying.

[Kevin Fredericks]

So I'm not even talking about that level. When it was absolutely real to me, I accepted that there was, you know, and I still bought that. Dang, they are brothers. Like, that part I fell for.

[David Borey]

There were moments inside of it that you had to believe in order to keep watching.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yes.

[David Borey]

But now you don't have to believe none of it. And you can still be a fan of it.

[Kevin Fredericks]

People are like, they should nominate wrestlers for acting awards.

[Langston Kern]

I'm with that.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Like, that's what Paul Heyman is like. Roman Reigns should get an award for this character that he's playing.

[David Borey]

This is not my original thought. Danny Jollis, comedian, y' all might know, he said this, and I do agree with it, that the should be the mo. He is the best actor on the planet. That, like, he. He. He can't. I get it. He can't do certain sides of what acting is. But as a. A entity that created an identity that we will serve as for a lifetime.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Like, what people think Drake has done, he's.

[David Borey]

He's unbeatable.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

In terms of just being. Having created a character. The Rock.

[Kevin Fredericks]

The character.

[David Borey]

The Rock, the character. And then subsequently Dwayne John because of it.

[Langston Kern]

I forget that's a dude named Dwayne all the time.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah. He can't.

[David Borey]

What are you gonna do? Threaten to beat him up? Like, everybody's literally like, no, he's the strongest man that ever was. Meryl Streep can't do that.

[Kevin Fredericks]

This is a very interesting.

[Langston Kern]

That's tough.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And also, you could argue that he is acting all the time. All the time.

[Langston Kern]

He's never. There's no in between scenes.

No.

[Kevin Fredericks]

He has Meryl Street. She's. She might be knitting right now. I don't know what she does in her off time. She might be nice on Madden. She could be on Call of Duty.

[Langston Kern]

We don't know.

[Kevin Fredericks]

You never know with her. Crazy. Wouldn't that be if Mer was just killing you?

[David Borey]

Like, man, Streep Street.

[Langston Kern]

No. Put in the street. Put up the street.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Quick on the street.

[Langston Kern]

She won't even need.

She won't even need A number on it.

[Kevin Fredericks]

It'll just be right there.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah, that'd be good.

[David Borey]

Damn. She has good.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah. Okay.

[Kevin Fredericks]

That is a. That is a. That is a take that I like.

[David Borey]

Nah. The Rock, I think, may be the most talented actor on the planet.

[Langston Kern]

Interesting. Do you worry that it's going. Do you worry that the pressure is going to eventually, like, kill him? Like, do you think the veneer is ever going to crack? Because how old is Iraqi? He's not.

[Kevin Fredericks]

He's 50, mid-50s, I believe.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kern]

You think he's going to do it for.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah, I think in some ways, at that point, that point of view, that's Beyonce, Oprah, like, that's. Everybody is me, you know, to some extent at least. Maybe the character. Like, in acting, a lot of the stuff is based on you and your point of view, but, like, in that case, there are a lot of people are doing that, but he might be doing it the best. Honestly. You can't make me believe anybody's doing any better than Drake.

[Langston Kern]

You think Drake is the top.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Aubrey Graham's greatest role is Drake. He's acting like the rapper. He also happens to be a very skilled rapper and singer. But that Persona. If you watch old videos of Drake when he was, like, Jewish and Canadian.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

That is an entirely different person.

[David Borey]

He was yelling at his mom about bagels.

[Kevin Fredericks]

For sure.

[Langston Kern]

You're the one who shot.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

No, he was telling his friends, like, the people in Toronto, like, the way they talk in school.

[Langston Kern]

Like, I saw that. He was like, they're so stupid.

Yeah, yeah. He had the pro.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Now he's like, oh, Drake.

[David Borey]

No, he's. And each year, he. His accent becomes more and more Canadian. Yeah, he used to. He used to be a little bit Memphis. Right, right. Remember, he was a little bit Memphis. And now all of a sudden, he's, like, fully the most Canadian Toronto talking. That's when he went to London.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I was like, oh, you turn the Canadian. Canadian up a little bit. A lot, actually. And this is not like, I'm not even. This isn't like a shot at him.

[David Borey]

No. And frankly, it's okay. At this point, I think he's got a lot going on. I don't think he's gonna notice.

[Langston Kern]

I don't think he'll be like, no, not Kev.

[Kevin Fredericks]

That's where he draws the line. Like, I took a lot of stuff, man.

[David Borey]

Now he's trying to make up with LeBron.

[Langston Kern]

He's.

[David Borey]

If he lost you, he lost everybody. I don't think it's that bad.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah, but.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah, he, him and the Rock probably are the. Of the. Of that point of view, they probably are the best.

[David Borey]

I think they are. They are the most talented.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Or Rick Ross. Remember, Rick Ross convinced us.

[David Borey]

Rick Ross is crazy.

[Kevin Fredericks]

He beat a corrections officer. Be truth, as a rapper.

[Langston Kern]

That's like. That's like crazier to me than. Than Drake in the rock because it was like, that's a completely other side.

[Kevin Fredericks]

That's a Wizard of Oz.

[Langston Kern]

Now you're a dog.

[Kevin Fredericks]

You're Air Bud.

[Langston Kern]

You're Air Bud. You're President Bud.

[David Borey]

Yeah. You're President Bud.

[Kevin Fredericks]

PB he shouldn't have come back from that.

[David Borey]

My truly, my favorite thing about that incident is that when it did come out, when that picture finally landed and we took it to Rick Ross, we put it in his.

[Langston Kern]

We said to explain this motherfucker, what is this? You've been lying to us?

[David Borey]

And he said, the answer is more nefarious than you could ever believe. And never said nothing else.

[Langston Kern]

That is a good actor.

Great actor.

That is a.

[Kevin Fredericks]

You would think you have him dead to rights.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah, that is an Oscar worthy talent.

[David Borey]

He said, you wouldn't even understand what I was up to. And we went, damn, damn, you got us again, Rick.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And then we just.

[David Borey]

Not your real name, Ross.

[Langston Kern]

You're. That guy's alive. You can't take an alive guy's name. It's not even his name.

[David Borey]

And he was like, yeah, my name rang out in the streets. It's like, that can't be true.

[Langston Kern]

He took the name of an alive coke dealer.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kern]

The famous one, the best one, the most talented one.

Oh, he might be my Al Pacino.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

He's unbelievable.

[Langston Kern]

Now, okay, here's what I'm saying. Yeah. Scent of a Woman reboot with Rick Ross.

Hey, man, press a button.

[Kevin Fredericks]

If you gave me a million dollars and I could guess forever, I would have never guessed that was the next.

[Langston Kern]

It's not even the Pacino film that.

[David Borey]

Makes the most sense.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

No, you don't start at Scent of a War Woman.

[Langston Kern]

That might be. I might be the first guy who ever said that.

Wasn't he blind in that movie? Yeah, you give him. You give him heat. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. It was so off.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I questioned if I knew before you were.

[David Borey]

I was like, nah, this motherfucker's blind and weird with a lady.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

The whole time.

[Langston Kern]

It's a lot of buildup. It's a very slow movie.

[Kevin Fredericks]

It's funny, man.

[Langston Kern]

No, thank you. I really liked it too.

[David Borey]

It's really good.

[Langston Kern]

Well, anyways, you did some research.

[David Borey]

I did some research.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Oh, yeah, please let me hear this.

[David Borey]

I did a little bit of research on this conspiracy theory, and I thought reality tv, this is important for us to lay the ground. I thought that reality TV was born around, like, the real World time.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Oh, no.

[David Borey]

If I thought about the source, I was like, oh, it's like around real World and it's way before that.

[Langston Kern]

Oh, I didn't know that either. Yeah, it's.

[David Borey]

In fact, it. It precedes tv. It started on some radio shit. This is your life, which was the original JoJo dance. Well, yeah, but that's where that comes from. This is your life was a show that would surprise people. This dude, Ralph Edwards, wasn't that his name? Yeah, something like that. Ralph Edwards, we're gonna call him.

[Langston Kern]

That's good enough.

[David Borey]

Who the fuck cares? Yeah. Ralph Edwards would surprise people, celebrities and regular people, and then show them, like, moments from their life as like a. Basically a celebration of them that, like, out of.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And it was on the radio.

[David Borey]

It was on the radio. And they would do, like, plumbers, but then they also did, like, Johnny Cash at a concert, like, in the middle of a concert, like, came out and did this is your life.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Oh, my God.

[David Borey]

The crowds would go nuts because, like, you're getting to witness this moment and they would, like, do this retrospective on you and the man that you are kind of thing.

[Langston Kern]

Oh, wow. And they would do that for normal people.

[David Borey]

For normal people, too.

[Langston Kern]

You gotta bring that back.

[David Borey]

Yeah, it seemed pretty tight.

[Langston Kern]

I wanna watch that.

[David Borey]

And so it goes from 1948 to 1950 on the radio, and then it becomes a television show from 1952 to 1961, and does celebrities and the likes for years and years.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Wow.

[David Borey]

This is the. Apparently the original reality.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I thought Cops was the beginning of reality.

[Langston Kern]

I did, too. I did. I did, too.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I would have never imagined it went on the radio.

[David Borey]

That's such a cynical start.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yes.

[Langston Kern]

I've watched a lot of. I watch it on YouTube.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah. Because there's my other thing. Yeah. I never believed on Cops that they caught everybody.

[Langston Kern]

Of course not.

[Kevin Fredericks]

There's just no way you catch everybody, brother.

[Langston Kern]

I know people who have gotten away from the cops, like, they can't have 100% hit rate with the camera.

[Kevin Fredericks]

It just doesn't make sense.

[Langston Kern]

I know stupid people who have gotten away from the cops.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And I've seen these cops. They're not all great athletes. They're just police officers.

[David Borey]

It's a lot of videos of them slipping and falling for sure.

[Langston Kern]

You know what I mean?

[Kevin Fredericks]

And a guy who wants to get away is running faster than a guy that wants to catch somebody.

[Langston Kern]

Yes.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Right.

[Langston Kern]

That's a. That's. That's very true.

[Kevin Fredericks]

If you catch me, I'm going to jail. I have way more incentive to run speed jump than you have. You catch me, you just get off work.

[Langston Kern]

Yep.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kern]

Do they. Do they get off work if they catch somebody?

[Kevin Fredericks]

I mean, if I caught somebody, my dark.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah, I got to the paperwork, brother.

[Kevin Fredericks]

If I had to run, brother.

[Langston Kern]

Oh, no.

[David Borey]

Hour one, you catch.

[Kevin Fredericks]

If I had to chase them, somebody and I caught him, brother. Six hours I'm writing.

[Langston Kern]

You got a problem, take it up with Commissioner Bud.

[David Borey]

He said wolf.

[Kevin Fredericks]

He said wolf. Wolf.

[David Borey]

I don't know what that means. You talk to him.

[Langston Kern]

I'm out.

Oh, man.

[David Borey]

No, I. I would have respected cops a lot more if they put banana peel sounds underneath. Yeah, underneath.

[Langston Kern]

I was the one when they're running on, like, a carpet where it's like.

[David Borey]

Yeah, it should have. While we're being silly about this and acknowledging that you're slipping and falling or like, you said something dumb. We freeze rainbow.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Whoopsie.

[David Borey]

Like, just something that really.

[Kevin Fredericks]

You chased somebody and they outran you, and they cut to you. You're like, man, he was really fast.

[David Borey]

He busted my ass.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Like. Like how they interview athletes. Like, yeah, man, I threw a lot of. Like, I need you to be. Really. Cause that had to happen.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

You know?

[Langston Kern]

Yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And they were like, dang, man, he was fast. All right, well, onto the. The next one.

[Langston Kern]

Here's what I'm thinking. That's a conspiracy to me. They're sitting on all that footage.

[Kevin Fredericks]

The real cops.

[Langston Kern]

The real cops.

[David Borey]

The real cops.

[Langston Kern]

Okay.

[David Borey]

It's gonna be some fucked up footage, y'.

[Langston Kern]

All.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Well, yeah, man. There's probably some crimes.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I actually edit that out.

[Langston Kern]

You know what runs faster is a bullet is the problem.

[David Borey]

I think when they slip and fall, they do something different. And that means they say a lot.

[Langston Kern]

Of stuff not fit for network television.

1,000%.

Yeah, that's probably.

[David Borey]

You know what?

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah, you know what? There's probably. Y' all probably.

[Langston Kern]

I think we got the best.

[David Borey]

You go ahead and keep that footage.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And.

[David Borey]

And I only say that because you're not gonna let us do anything about it, right?

[Langston Kern]

You know what I mean?

[David Borey]

He not gonna let us fix it, so. Yeah, okay. You keep that footage.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I don't.

[David Borey]

I don't gotta be that kind of man.

[Langston Kern]

They must have burned the tapes, because that just in the history of cops they caught. What do you do in that position? You're the camera guy, and you're watching this happen.

[Kevin Fredericks]

You're zooming in, and that guy turned the corner and he's gone. Or. And the cop's here.

[Langston Kern]

You don't think they ever saw a cop sprinkle a crack?

[Kevin Fredericks]

Oh, come on, man. Come on. He makes that in.

[Langston Kern]

Is it in a seasoning container for you? Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Fredericks]

They just all keep a little crack on there just to make the scene make sense.

[David Borey]

Don't throw the garlic salt away.

[Langston Kern]

I'm gonna put a little crack.

[David Borey]

Crack in there and spilled some on the table.

[Langston Kern]

Let me put it over my shoulder. But they did at some point, right?

[David Borey]

No, I think they did the most vile things possible, which is why they're still cops. Yeah. Why that show is so nasty. Yeah. It's like you are not only only showing the heroics, but you're also not showing the true monsters that y' all are 1000%. And that's crazy. Crazy. That's, like, truly wild.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I've been watching the Mayor of Kingstowne, which is about cops in a prison in town. Like, how they interact and the way they just talk, the way the cops just plant evidence is, like, part of the job. It's like whatever narrative we need to tell, we are the writers and the editors. Like, what do you mean? And you never saw that on Cops?

[Langston Kern]

No.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And we grew up actually trusting police until the world became real to us.

[Langston Kern]

Right, right.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Like, you're like, oh, the police are good.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kern]

I thought they were like firemen when I was little.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And you know what's so interesting about that?

[Langston Kern]

Nobody has beef with firemen because firemen are the best, man.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And they're not planning fires.

[Langston Kern]

No.

[Kevin Fredericks]

They're just putting them out, man.

[David Borey]

No cop, no fireman calls the fire the N word. Religious. And if they do, so what?

[Langston Kern]

So what? Go ahead. If that's what you need to put out the fire. If that's how you can do it, I'mma kill you. You fire. And then he does. Hell, yeah.

[David Borey]

Say that.

[Langston Kern]

That was the first draft of Backdraft, though. That's how they wrote it.

You fire going die today.

For real, though. They're good guys. They also do medical. They do all this stuff.

[Kevin Fredericks]

And they have the same, like, build.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah. I think they're a better build.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah. I mean, they look. Yeah, they actually are, bro.

[Langston Kern]

Think about how nobody talks about the policeman's calendar.

[Kevin Fredericks]

No.

[David Borey]

But think about culture.

[Langston Kern]

It's not like women like, oh, I.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Can'T wait for that.

[Langston Kern]

New LAPD calendar.

Covered in donut crumbs.

[David Borey]

I heard the sheriff's office is releasing soon.

[Langston Kern]

Got to get my eyes on it.

[David Borey]

Think about how much we've known that the police were bad. That we drop off our unwanted babies to the firemen instead. Yeah, the firemen shouldn't even know what to do with the babies.

[Langston Kern]

That's not their. It's literally 10 dudes in a house.

[David Borey]

It's not even their purview, bro. No, man, they shouldn't even lie like that.

[Langston Kern]

There's no other house full of 10. No other house full of 10 dudes working out that I'm going to drop a kid off.

There's not one dude. I drop my kids off with my. My father included. Alone. Both of them. No one he could handle one. He do one, not two. Oh, my God. You're dropping these kids off to these young swole boys.

[David Borey]

Because, you know, dropping it on the other side of town.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Town. That's. That's. They're gonna arrest the baby.

[Langston Kern]

Also, you got warrants? What are you doing? Now you're double in trouble. You tried to give away your kid and you got tickets.

Yeah.

Yeah. That's like, not good, right?

[David Borey]

They gonna come and call in, too.

[Kevin Fredericks]

You can't even get on the ground for me.

[David Borey]

You look like Teresa.

[Langston Kern]

This is a strange question. Do you have to show your ID to drop a kid off?

[Kevin Fredericks]

No, I think you gotta, like, do it without people knowing.

[David Borey]

I think it's.

[Langston Kern]

They can't see you gotta drop it.

[Kevin Fredericks]

The whole thing.

[David Borey]

I think they. They'd send it away if you were trying to do it in person.

[Langston Kern]

Person.

[David Borey]

No, no, no.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Come on, man. Take your baby, bro.

[David Borey]

We talked about it.

[Kevin Fredericks]

If I catch you, if I see you, it's out. The deal's off.

[Langston Kern]

What I tell you, Rick? What I tell you last week?

[David Borey]

Hey, I'll turn the hose on, man. Get the out of here.

[Langston Kern]

I get it. Fatherhood is difficult.

Oh, my God.

[David Borey]

I'll spray your feet, man. Get the out of here.

[Langston Kern]

That hose water is strong. It's strong.

[David Borey]

Gonna hurt your toes for sure.

[Kevin Fredericks]

That's toes on conc.

[Langston Kern]

Both sides. No, he gets it. He's leaving.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yeah.

[Langston Kern]

Don't swear. My feet, man. All right, all right.

[David Borey]

My bad, my bad.

[Langston Kern]

I'm gone, bro.

[David Borey]

You ain't got to say it again, man. Last time we spoiled, I was getting a different energy. My apologies. I won't be back.

[Kevin Fredericks]

So. Interesting, cuz. Like, I hold my breath when I pass police. I don't. When I see fire, I wave.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah, this is the only one I.

[David Borey]

Like doing it for.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah.

I see fireman and I say, thank God someone here is in control. Like, anything could happen. I've never been relieved by their presence before.

[Kevin Fredericks]

No, I'm nervous.

[David Borey]

LA does this nasty thing. Instead of pulling to the side, they all just stop in the middle of the street. You know what I mean? Like, drivers don't because they don't want to lose their spot, so they stay exactly where they are and just let the fire.

[Langston Kern]

This town is bad.

[David Borey]

Figure it out.

[Langston Kern]

It's a bad town.

[David Borey]

It's a crazy place.

[Kevin Fredericks]

It definitely is. It really is.

[Langston Kern]

That's nuts.

[David Borey]

And truly, before I lived here, I heard the fire truck and I was as far and as quickly as possible because those were my men and I wanted them to get where they needed to be.

[Kevin Fredericks]

I wanted to save somebody or a cat or something.

[David Borey]

It's the only motherfuckers I trust. And so I wanted them to succeed. And now I've become cynical because of where we live. But I'm glad we're having this conversation.

[Kevin Fredericks]

No, this is.

[David Borey]

These are important men and we should celebrate them more often.

[Kevin Fredericks]

Yes.

[Langston Kern]

Yeah. Hey. I know you little mamas are having such a good time with this episode. Us too. We were actually having such a good time that this shit is two parts. So tune in next week to listen.

[Kevin Fredericks]

To the rest of us.

[Langston Kern]

In the meantime, follow us on Instagram and TikTok at my mama Told Me Pod and subscribe to the YouTube page to watch our episode. Bye, bitch.

[David Borey]

My Mama Told Me is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and I Heart Podcast, created and hosted.

[Langston Kern]

By Langston Kern, co hosted by David Borey, executive produced by Will Ferrell Hansani and Olivia Aguilar.

[David Borey]

Co produced by Bay Wayne.

[Langston Kern]

Edited and engineered by Justin Kahman.

[David Borey]

Music by Nick Chambers.

[Langston Kern]

Artwork by Dogon Krieger.

[David Borey]

You can now watch episodes of My Mama told me on YouTube, follow @mymama told me and subscribe to our channel.

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[Washable Sofas Advertiser]

Time for a sofa upgrade. Visit washablesofas.com and Discovery Annabe where designer style meets budget friendly prices. With sofas starting at $699, Annabe brings you the ultimate in furniture innovation with a modular design that allows you to rearrange your space effortlessly. Perfect for both small and large spaces, Anabe is the only machine washable sofa inside and out. Say goodbye to stains and messes with liquid and stain resistant fabrics that make cleaning easy. Liquid simply slides right off. Designed for custom comfort, our high resilience foam lets you choose between a sink in feel or a supportive memory foam blend. Plus our pet friendly stain resistant fabrics ensure your sofa stays beautiful for years. Don't compromise quality for price. Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your living space today with no risk returns and a 30 day money back guarantee. Get up to 60% off plus free shipping and free returns. Shop now [e-mail] Authors are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[TiVo Advertiser]

Over 300 channels, zero bills. That's TiVo plus live news, reality movies and more. No credit card, no signups available on smart TVs powered by TiVo. Grab the remote, press play and start watching TiVo plus free binge worthy always on. Learn more at tivo.com witness the new.

[Reasonable Doubt Hulu Advertiser]

Season of Reasonable Doubt streaming on Hulu September 18th. LA's most successful attorney, Jack Stewart, defends a young actor accused of murder. Follow Emayatti Coronaldi, Morris Chestnut, Joseph Sikora and guest stars Cash Dahl and Lori Harvey as they face off in the year's most sensational trial in the pursuit of justice. Every move counts. Reasonable Doubt Season 3 is streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney September 18th. Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

[David Borey]

This is an iHeart podcast.