Rural Strip Clubs Are Operated by the C.I.A: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Rural Strip Clubs Are Operated by the C.I.A: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode"

Host: Langston Kerman and David Gborie
Podcast: My Momma Told Me
Release Date: March 13, 2025

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Introduction

In this engaging and thought-provoking episode of "My Momma Told Me," comedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie delve into an unconventional Black conspiracy theory: the notion that rural strip clubs in conservative areas of the United States are covert operations orchestrated by the CIA. Titled "Rural Strip Clubs Are Operated by the C.I.A: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode," the episode blends humor with serious discourse, offering listeners a unique blend of comedy and conspiracy theory exploration.

Emotional Vulnerability and Societal Expectations

Before diving into the main topic, Langston and David engage in a heartfelt conversation about emotional vulnerability, particularly among Black men. They discuss societal pressures that discourage men from expressing emotions freely, highlighting the internal conflicts that arise from wanting to show vulnerability but fearing judgment or misunderstanding.

Notable Quote:

David (07:10): "It's like swallowing it. Stop. Yeah, stop, man. Just let that out."

Introducing the Conspiracy Theory

Transitioning from personal emotions to broader societal issues, the hosts introduce the central conspiracy theory: the idea that subpar strip clubs in conservative rural areas serve as fronts for government psyops. They ponder how these establishments, which often appear to have little to no legitimate business, could be channels for money laundering or other clandestine operations.

Notable Quote:

Jocelyn (24:00): "I was wondering... I think bad strip clubs in conservative areas of the US are psyops run by the government."

Personal Anecdotes and Experiences

Jocelyn shares a gripping personal story about a tumultuous neighbor involved in the production of butane-extracted hash oil. This narrative not only adds a layer of authenticity but also underscores the potential dangers and secretive activities that might be hidden behind the facade of such establishments.

Notable Quote:

Jocelyn (12:00): "One night I hear him arguing and he's like, I got this apartment for us... We were making that shit in the house. And one of the cans of butane exploded."

Analyzing the Economics of Strip Clubs and Crime

The discussion shifts to the economics of operating strip clubs in low-regulation areas. Langston and David explore how these businesses might function financially, considering the thin profit margins and limited clientele. They theorize that without substantial external funding or connections, these clubs struggle to sustain themselves, leading to suspicions about their true purpose.

Notable Quote:

David (29:00): "I think that sometimes we presume that everything goes all the way to the top, when in fact just being able to like keep certain business owners afloat is how the top supports itself."

Government Involvement and Money Laundering

The hosts debate the likelihood of direct government involvement in these strip clubs. While they acknowledge the possibility of high-level officials benefiting from money laundering through these establishments, they express skepticism about the CIA or FBI actively creating and maintaining such fronts.

Notable Quote:

Jocelyn (30:27): "I don't think the CIA or the FBI has anything to do with it, but it definitely feels like some way to wash money."

Ownership, Morality, and Generational Impact

Langston and Jocelyn discuss the ethical implications of owning strip clubs and the potential for generational corruption. They contemplate the idea of maintaining a morally upright business while acknowledging the innate challenges and societal stigmas associated with such establishments.

Notable Quote:

Jocelyn (32:13): "I'm an upstanding member of the community. I run it. Get enough money to put my kids through college, and then I shut it down, I retire."

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Wrapping up the episode, Langston and David reflect on the complexities of blending humor with serious conspiracy theories. They encourage listeners to consider the multifaceted nature of such theories, acknowledging both the humorous and unsettling aspects. The hosts also provide information on how to follow their work, upcoming tour dates, and where to purchase merchandise, fostering a sense of community and continued engagement with their audience.

Notable Quote:

David (34:27): "Despite being called that nasty name, we certainly address the issue at hand."

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Key Takeaways

• Emotional Expression: The episode opens with a candid discussion on the challenges Black men face in expressing vulnerability, setting the stage for deeper societal explorations.

• Conspiracy Theory Exploration: Langston and David present and dissect the theory that rural strip clubs may serve as government psyops, blending personal narratives with analytical discourse.

• Economic and Moral Implications: The conversation delves into the logistical and ethical dimensions of operating strip clubs in low-regulation areas, questioning the sustainability and morality of such businesses.

• Skepticism and Open-Mindedness: While entertaining the conspiracy, the hosts maintain a healthy skepticism, recognizing the complexity and multifaceted nature of such theories.

• Community Engagement: The episode concludes with actionable information for listeners to support the hosts, fostering a community around shared interests in conspiracy theories and Black cultural discourse.

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Where to Follow Langston and David

• Social Media: Follow Langston Kerman and David Gborie on all major platforms for updates and behind-the-scenes content.
• Live Performances:
  • David Gborie:
    • Vermont Comedy Club (March)
    • Wise Guys Utah, Salt Lake City (April)
    • Wise Guys Las Vegas
  • Langston Kerman: Upcoming dates available on their official social media channels.
• Merchandise: Available for purchase via their official website and at live events.
• Community Engagement: Share your own conspiracy theories and experiences by contacting them at [e-mail] or calling 844-LITTLE MOMS.

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This episode of "My Momma Told Me" successfully intertwines humor with serious contemplation, inviting listeners to ponder unconventional theories while engaging with relatable personal stories. Langston Kerman and David Gborie deliver a balanced and entertaining exploration of topics that challenge conventional thinking, all while fostering a strong connection with their audience.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Matt]

Where'd you get those shoes? Easy. They're from dsw. Because DSW has the exact right shoes for whatever you're into right now. You know, like the sneakers that make office hours feel like happy hour, the boots that turn grocery aisles into runways, and all the styles that show off the many sides of you, from daydreamer to multitasker, and everything in between. Because you do it all in really great shoes. Find a shoe for every you at your dsw store or dsw.com hi, I'm Matt.

[Leah]

And I'm Leah.

[Matt]

And we're from the Grown Up Stuff podcast.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And just in time for tax season. On this week's episode, we're chatting with CPA Lisa Green Lewis about how small businesses can tackle their taxes using TurboTax Business.

[David]

A Forbes study mentioned that a whopping 93% of small businesses overpay their taxes. And 17% of Gen Zers believed that you could write off any expense as a business expense. So can't blame them. It's really important to do your taxes right.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Listen to Grown up stuff on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Every day, our world gets a little.

[David]

More connected, but a little further apart. But then there are moments that remind us to be more human.

[Jocelyn]

Thank you for calling Amica Insurance.

[Jenny Garth]

Hey, I was just in an accident.

[David]

Don't worry.

[Jocelyn]

We'll get you taken care of.

[Ryan Seacrest]

At Ameca, we understand that looking out.

[David]

For each other isn't new or groundbreaking. It's human.

[Jocelyn]

Ameca.

[David]

Empathy is our best policy.

[Jocelyn]

Motherfucking mini episode. Mini episode. Motherfucking mini episode.

[David]

She said take your time. What's the rush, baby? I'm a dog. I'm a mutt. There it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me the.

[Jocelyn]

Podcast, where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories, and we.

[David]

Finally work to prove the silly shit that you got cooking at home. It's a Motherfucking mini episode.

[Jocelyn]

Hell yeah.

[David]

I like that old word. Oh, thank you. Yeah, it's a new song. I feel cool when I can squeeze a new song in.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah, I tried to do it with the Lamelo or the liangelo ball song. I thought it went okay.

[David]

Yeah, yeah, I thought it was great. Bend that corner.

[Jocelyn]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[David]

You really had a great. He had a great, like three weeks, I would say.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got Lil Wayne on the remix. Like, he really. He did it.

[David]

No, I don't believe in him in any way, shape or form. So I just don't expect that we'll keep hearing stuff that we like. But for now. Yeah. You did it, man.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah. You could get one. You could get one.

[David]

You can get one.

[Jocelyn]

Like, I feel like everybody has one hit rap song in them.

[David]

I can see that.

[Jocelyn]

Because it doesn't have to be good.

[David]

To hit once if you dedicated the time and the resources so that like you could make something quality every time you attempted. I bet you could land on something like, oh, shit. That doesn't mean it pops. And that doesn't mean that like that like you become famous off the ship. Because then everybody would be. But it does mean, like everybody secretly has like one jam in their pocket.

[Jocelyn]

I think so. I think everybody could have a year like baby boy to Prince. Remember that guy, the way I live?

[David]

Yeah.

[Jocelyn]

I don't know any other singles but that one. That was a fun song.

[David]

Yeah. Youngberg was such a one song ass nigga that he has to change his name now.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah. What's his name now? I didn't even know yet.

[David]

Fuck. What is it?

[Jocelyn]

There we go. That's exactly.

[David]

Nah, but he's like, he's a producer though. He's like a producer now, but he wasn't when he was young bird. Hitmaker. That's what it is. He's hit maker. Yeah, but he was young Berg before and we laughed at him, you know what I mean? Like we, we mocked him.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah. I don't.

[David]

Being young Bird, what was this song?

[Jocelyn]

I don't even remember what his song was.

[David]

Some young bird ass. I don't know.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah, I feel like it was bad.

[David]

You know what I mean?

[Jocelyn]

Hey, shout out to all the one hit wonder rappers still getting some pussy.

[David]

That's cool. That's cool that y'all do that.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah, it's not a bad life. Yeah. Anyways, we're not here to talk about Youngberg or our hitmaker.

[David]

We keep both.

[Jocelyn]

Or hitmaker. Yeah.

[David]

We can keep your dead name out our mouths. You hitmaker now.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah. No, no, no. I acknowledge your new name.

[David]

We have a voicemail. We have a fun, I guess, fun. I don't know. We haven't listened to it or voicemail that. That BAE is gonna play for us, and we'll laugh and. And. Or. And. Or think seriously about the subject or cry.

[Jocelyn]

I'm trying to be more open to it.

[David]

Whoa. You think you could cry on this podcast?

[Jocelyn]

No, not on here. I'm not crying on the Internet, but, like, in life, I'm trying to be more open to it.

[David]

I got you.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David]

Not me. I think I'm. I'm ready to shut it all down.

[Jocelyn]

You had some big ones early, though. I feel like.

[David]

Yeah, I'm ready for the factory. Go ahead. Shut the doors, Factory. We got all the water out we need.

[Jocelyn]

I get that. I mean, do you feel safe crying? Is there anywhere that you feel safe crying?

[David]

I think I'm. I feel safe in. As safe as I can feel with my partner. Do you know what I mean? That is not in any way a judgment of her or the quality of love that we share, but I got some shit in me that makes safety with crying still sort of a looser exchange than I would like. I would like for it to be safe.

[Jocelyn]

No. Yeah. Black man safe. That's.

[David]

Yeah. I'd like for it to be a simple exchange of just true feelings, and I can't say that that's true.

[Jocelyn]

You ever talk to, like, white guys and they're like. They cry at commercials and shit, and you're like, fuck you.

[David]

Yeah. You know what my problem is? That lives in me where I do be wanting to cry at, like. No, I know a show and a commercial or whatever it is, and then I feel like, no, you can't. You can't. It's like that's swallowing it. Stop. Yeah, stop, man. Just the duck with the oil on it made you sad. It's okay if you. You just want to, like, let that out.

[Jocelyn]

If I. I got really good at. If I even feel it in my throat, I could just be like, no, no. And then immediately, I'll, like. I'll, like, think of why I actually hate that thing instead. That thing that made me elicit that emotion.

[David]

You know what's wild for me is when other people cry, I cry. Like, it triggers.

[Jocelyn]

Really.

[David]

It triggers for me where, like, if you're. If you started crying, I would start crying just off of, like, fuck. But it's not. This is fucked up. It's not even always, I think fully Just empathy. I think some of it is that, like, I'm. I'm sad that you reached this level of vulnerability. I'm sad that in front of me, whatever you're feeling was so extreme for you, that you broke. And that makes me sad. And I go, I get it. That's nasty. That's some nasty, you know, patriarchy that I'm never going to unpack for my brain.

[Jocelyn]

Nah, listen, we could do. We could. We could do what we could do, you know what I'm saying?

[David]

I think we give it all we got. You give it all you got. You love on the people you can love on. You pay your taxes, as you said.

[Jocelyn]

Come on.

[David]

And you just hope for the best.

[Jocelyn]

Your son will be able to cry, hopefully. Or his son.

[David]

I hope so. That's what I want for him. And that's what I want, frankly, for me. For you. I'm not in a position where I've fully given up. So maybe there's a world where I can find myself crying with my boy one day. I'm just not all the way up.

[Jocelyn]

But there is a level. This sounds terrible. There is a level of not trusting a man who cries.

[David]

I don't like that.

[Jocelyn]

You know what I'm saying?

[David]

And I'm not. I'm not a man who doesn't cry. You know what I mean? Like, I cry. It's just the weird self hate. I can't quite escape.

[Jocelyn]

I mean, I. In life, nigga, I had this guy, I had a neighbor who used to cry all the time. Blew up my apartment. True story.

[David]

Whoa.

[Jocelyn]

Make it butane extracted hash oil. Fuck yeah.

[David]

And how do you connect those feelings?

[Jocelyn]

So this is a crazy story. So he moved in, right? And it was a crazy scenario. It was this dude, this old. He was like my age, so it's probably like 24 at the time. This old ugly woman, that was his girlfriend, this old, ugly, ugly white woman and her son, they moved in next door to us, right? And we would hear them.

[David]

Never a great combination.

[Jocelyn]

We would hear them arguing.

[David]

Adult. Adult son with young boyfriend. That's fucked up.

[Jocelyn]

Not adult. Like 13.

[David]

Even worse.

[Jocelyn]

I'm telling you, this shit gets. It gets worse. So we would hear them arguing all the time, right? And one night I heard them arguing because it's like a slum in San Francisco in Eagleside. But like, one night I hear him arguing and he's like, I got this apartment for us, Jennifer, so you don't have to hook no more so you can have your kid here. And I'm like, damn, this shit bad. This is bad.

[David]

But, like, that's like a soap opera.

[Jocelyn]

That's.

[David]

That's the. That's the way it's written on the wb.

[Jocelyn]

It gets so much worse. So I'm like, this is already fucked up, but this is probably like 2011. So I don't know if you're familiar with hash oil and how it's evolved, but 2011 was early on hash oil. Early, early, early. So I didn't even know what this was. He would come over with a dab rig in hash oil that he made, and he would get me and my roommate high on hash oil. And we were like, this is. I never. This is like, crazy. And it was free. We didn't even know where to get it at the time, and it was free. But he would get us all high on hash oil and then he would start crying about his life. Like, literal tears, right? Like crying. Telling us about his hooker girlfriend and how his mom don't love him and that's not his kid, and yada, yada. And the girlfriend, by the way, huge bitch. Huge bitch. Such a mean lady. And one day I'm taking the trash out and I see him, and they have this thing, like a long cylinder, and it's got cheesecloth on the bottom, and they're running. They're running butane through it. And they have a trash bag full of shake weed, because I guess her dad was a grower or something. So they had trash bags full of shake and they're making butane extracted hash oil, and they're making it on the side of the house. And I'm like, damn, that's crazy. And our other neighbor, this dude named Roy from Mississippi, one tooth. Moved to San Francisco to smoke weed. Great guy, Great guy, Roy. Love that guy. He was like, that bitch. Yeah, he was like, that bitch is going to blow us up. And we were like, nah, nah, man. And then I was at the punchline opening, opening for somebody. And my roommate calls me. He's like, fuck, fuck, fuck. The apartment blew up. The apartment blew up. They were making that shit in the house. And one of the cans of butane exploded. And fucking. It was like, in the kitchen, and it was like a concussion. I don't know what you call the blast, but it knocked out the bathroom wall in our house. Burned their whole shit up. Firefighters had to come. Little boy's face gets burned up. They got taken.

[David]

They had to get injuries and shit, right?

[Jocelyn]

Yeah. Had to take skin from the ass to put it on the little boy's face, and the mom and the boyfriend ran off, and then they both.

[David]

And now he. Now he's a tip drill.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah. But anyways, after that, I was like, hey, don't let me.

[David]

Now that little boy is a tip drill.

[Jocelyn]

He's like, it must be your ass.

[David]

Because that ain't your face. You are technically a tip drill, young man. I don't mean to be rude. I'm sorry that happened to you. But you are, by legal definitions, a tip drill.

[Jocelyn]

A young tip drill. But anyways, ever since, that guy was crying all the time, and I knew I didn't trust him because of that, and then, boom. Exploded my shit.

[David]

So crying for you does feel too vulnerable to the point that it's untrustworthy.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah. If I don't know you well or at all, and you cry in front of me, I don't know.

[David]

Yeah, that's real. There is a level of. It is similar to what we were talking about, of, like, detachment, where it does feel like. Wait a minute. You don't understand social cues in a way that I don't love either. Like, both people are manipulating. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jocelyn]

Or you're manipulating me. Cause he wasn't pulling that shit when he wouldn't come over sober. Cause we didn't want to hear that shit. He'd get us high on a new kind of drugs and then cry, give.

[David]

You a little taste of whatever is going to make this an easy conversation instead of one where he actually has to reflect on what he's saying.

[Jocelyn]

Exactly.

[David]

Damn.

[Jocelyn]

Anyways, we got a voicemail.

[David]

We got a voicemail, bae, you can play the voicemail. Well, let's see what happens.

[Unnamed Caller]

Hey, uncs, I'm a Negress who lives in Nebraska and a former veteran. You know.

[David]

Can we pause? Pause right there.

[Jocelyn]

You don't like UN did she call us a. Damn, that's devastating. Did she say un?

[David]

Can we go back? I'm pretty sure she called us un.

[Jocelyn]

This podcast. One more time. One more time.

[Unnamed Caller]

Hey, UN.

[Jocelyn]

Isolate, isolate.

[David]

Damn.

[Jocelyn]

Yo, this is.

[David]

Damn.

[Jocelyn]

Oh, no.

[David]

What the. I'm young, I'm cool. I'm one of y'all. Come on, baby.

[Jocelyn]

I like sneakers. Yo, that's crazy.

[David]

We never even advocated for that kind of behavior.

[Jocelyn]

Not at all. Also, if you are listening to this in the position where you think we're unks and you're listening for some type of, like, life wisdom, it's not a good plan for you.

[David]

No, no, no, no, no. Not in this house. No. You are mistaken. That's not what we're aiming for. And I know it's trendy now where young niggas are being like, I can't wait to be an Unk. I'm not that. No, I'm too close to it on a technical sense to still be, like, playing charming games where I can't wait to wear a big old pair of shorts with some leather sandals. No, I'm not. That ain't me.

[Jocelyn]

That's. You're exactly right. You know why Mandel can get away with it? Because he's 11 years old.

[David]

That is a boy cosplay. He is dressing up as his favorite cartoon character, which happens to be Unk. I got a mortgage ain't cute to me.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah, I got. I got problems, man. My knee don't feel good. I don't want to be a hunk yet.

[David]

Nah, keep that shirt.

[Leah]

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[H]

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[Matt]

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[H]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Jenny Garth]

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[Unnamed Caller]

Hey, uncs. I'm a negress who lives in Nebraska and a former veteran, you know, dancer, but not like a ballerina, like in like a Jocelyn and like, kind of way, you know, Ms. Hernandez.

[Jocelyn]

But can you pause one more time? Is she saying that she's a veteran of dancing or of the United States military?

[David]

The vibe I got was both, that. That she. She's a veteran of the United States military and then became a stripper, if I'm understanding correctly.

[Jocelyn]

So she's like a. She's like a soldier stripper. I guess that's like a warrior poet.

[David]

I've never heard of that combo, but maybe I have and I just didn't realize it. You know what I mean? Maybe that's a more common combo than I. Than I realized.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah, maybe she just wanted the discipline or, like, the structure. She was like, stripping's fun, but I gotta get it together.

[David]

I can't do this forever. I gotta go. I gotta go get yelled at.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah, go live on a boat with a hundred dudes. All right. Yeah, keep going.

[Unnamed Caller]

I've noticed through my travels that clubs in small towns with, like, bad regulations don't, like, don't really have a lot of business or good business, but they seem to have a lot of money and wealthy owners that do nothing else but own a bad club. And so. And they don't. So I was wondering. I was like, how do they make the money? They have four dancers and no customers. I realize a lot of them are government plans. I think bad strip clubs in conservative areas in the US Is my conspiracy theory. I think bad strip clubs in conservative areas of the US are psyops ran by the government.

[Jocelyn]

Oh, the government got her.

[David]

Yeah. That's Tony Soprano ending that.

[Jocelyn]

Oh, no more.

[David]

No more. Okay. Just CIA at the end. Okay. Yeah. What do you think?

[Jocelyn]

This is interesting. Have you ever been to a bad strip club in a conservative area?

[David]

The first strip club I ever went to was in a place called Brooklyn, Illinois, which. All of Illinois is very, very red outside of Chicago. You know what I mean? So, yeah. No fucking way was that a progressive area. And it was a night nightmare of a strip club. It's called the Pink Slip. Pink Slipper and shouldn't exist and it shouldn't have been my first foray.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah. How was that? Was that like a college thing? How Was that your first. They didn't card or something?

[David]

No, on tour with Jack, first tour I had ever done, and we had performed in St. Louis that evening and St. Louis back to. I think we were performing in Chicago the night after, and he was like, oh, man, we should go hit the strip club before we do this drive or take, you know, whatever it was the next day.

[Jocelyn]

That's some crazy ass jack shit to say.

[David]

Yeah. So I was like, all right. Yeah, it's just me and you. And frankly, we've been on this tour long enough that we've run out of conversation. So, yeah, that'll happen.

[Jocelyn]

I know about you. You know about me.

[David]

We covered it. We were too broke to even get our own room, so we're spending long days together. You know what I mean? Like, this is. Is one of them tours where you are together type shit.

[Jocelyn]

Yep.

[David]

And yeah, after that, you start being like, now we got to find new ways to bond. So strip club, even if it's the saddest one.

[Jocelyn]

How many dancers, how many stages?

[David]

The one. So if I'm not mistaken, the Pink Slipper was like the. The creme de la creme of the Brooklyn, Illinois has like this strip of strip clubs. And the Pink Slipper is like. We went to the Pink Slipper. And then Jack was like, ain't no bad bitches in here. And he was like, we should go next door.

[Jocelyn]

Right?

[David]

And the Pink Slipper, they probably have two stages and two. Two cash machines, you know what I mean? Like, this is them. This is them living sort of the elite life. Then we go to the place next door, which I can't remember the name of. It might have been the Pink Slipper. And I can't remember the first one either way. We went next door, and there was a man outside with a cane and an eye patch. And then we went through the doors, and truly there were four men in the entire club. And it was an empty stage at first. And then finally they clearly forced one of the girls to come out because Jack and I had shown up.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah, there's money in the house.

[David]

Yeah. And one lady came out very reluctantly and danced as lazily as she could. And at one point, we were throwing money, and then I, like, stopped long enough to look for where my other money was, and she stopped and she said, if y'all ain't gonna keep throwing, I'm not gonna keep dancing. And I said, my bad, baby girl. Yeah, I got you.

[Jocelyn]

Let me tell you, that is indi. That. So that's what happens at bad Strip clubs is reluctant strippers.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jocelyn]

They do not want to make any money in the bad ones. She ain't going to pretend to be your friend. She in the back. I went to one in South Carolina that was like that, where they were clearly like in the back arguing about who had to go.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jocelyn]

And I was like trying to throw some money. I say all that to say. So I've been to a bunch of bad strip clubs. I do always wonder about the economics of it. Right. Because it never seems outside of like a major area. It doesn't seem like it's something that can get. I don't see if they're making cover money or bar money. It just. It always feels like a front is what I'm saying. I don't know about CIA. I don't think the government has their hands in it, but it definitely feels like some way to wash money, you know what I mean?

[David]

I think there's certainly a logical progression to someone washing money via a strip club. Literally. The Sopranos laid it out for us in pretty bean. Yeah. Pretty clear detail. That said, I think that sometimes we presume that everything goes all the way to the top, when in fact just being able to like keep certain business owners afloat is how the top supports itself. Do you know what I mean that like, you don't. Part of how I, a politician, a person in power, remain in power, is to keep allies at every tier of the evolutionary chart. You know what I mean? Like, I can't just have allies at the top with me. I also have to have a Bada Bing owner, a pink slipper owner, whatever the fuck it is. Sort of happy and satiated so that he feels like paying his boss, who then pays me and keeps the party going.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah, I'm with that. I think people forget how low level crime can be. Even crime's like washing money. You know what I mean? So I think that it's like. Cause I don't think it's a money making business outside of the big ones. I just don't. I just. The margins are too thin. Especially like in a small town where it's like, you got the same dancer. I mean, don't get me wrong, I know dudes are sad and we'll be regulars, but I can't imagine how you're getting any money. But I don't think the CIA or the FBI has anything to do with it.

[David]

I think that CIA and FBI have something to do with it if they are called upon to step in and help out. I don't Think that they have something to do with it in that they built the structures in the first place.

[Jocelyn]

Right.

[David]

You know what I mean? Like, I think if a powerful enough person makes a phone call and says, look, you know, I know the pink slip didn't pay their taxes this year, we're going to overlook that. And the IRS goes okay. And you know what I mean, you don't know why that person needs that business to stay open, but they do. And they're washing a lot of money through it. And, and that maybe does eventually find its way into government officials hands. But I don't think the CIA was like, we'll hide all our money in shitty strip clubs. Like that's not the.

[Jocelyn]

Exactly, exactly. The strippers damn sure don't know about it.

[David]

No, they're not saying a dime.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah, all that being said, I always thought I would be a fun proprietor of a strip club. Oh, okay, Like a players club. We get you a real funny dj. I think I wouldn't be on no sleazy shit. I think I would be fun.

[David]

When you say fun, are you seeing yourself as like an active character or are you just a dude who hangs out who everybody is excited to see?

[Jocelyn]

Well, in this scenario it's probably a college town and I am a small town college football star who stayed around and via some booster money got a business loan and started a circle. So they're like, hey, I remember, I remember you in the, in the, in the, in the cuddy sock bowl back in 98.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jocelyn]

And I'm shaking hands. We got food. Good food. Good enough food, right? You know what I mean? Nobody's getting hit. We're not letting anybody. No pimps are coming around. Like I run a clean establishment.

[David]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jocelyn]

And there's not much to do in town anyways.

[David]

You are not an immoral person. You are a man who found a way after inevitably what breaks a lot of men, right? Like you finish football and you have nothing and it turns you into a psychopath. And you're like, no, I'm going to be something and I'm going to use what I had to be something that can actually benefit myself and my community.

[Jocelyn]

Exactly. I'm going to use this cupcake degree. What do they get, like a mass comm degree or some shit? Usually, yeah, some shit like that. And I'm gonna put it into the. I don't have a name yet, but I always thought that would be a life I would be okay with.

[David]

That's nice. I don't. I never imagined it for myself. But I don't hate, I don't hate the premise of it. It doesn't sound like a bad life to me.

[Jocelyn]

No, I think it'd be okay. Go fishing a lot, I bet. But anyways, yeah, I don't, I'm not there all the time.

[David]

Yeah, you got other stuff going on.

[Jocelyn]

And then eventually I give it to my son who sells it.

[David]

Okay. That's what I was about to worry about is once you start giving it to your son, he's gonna be a piece of shit.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah, that's the. Well, he didn't grow up there. He didn't grow up in the strip club with me.

[David]

I'll be honest with you. There's no way you take over your father's strip club in Brooklyn, Illinois and don't turn into a piece of shit.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah, that's true. Maybe it's just a one generation thing. You know what I could do? Maybe I run it. But then I'm also an upstanding. Like I'm in the church. I'm an upstanding member of the community. I run it. Get enough money to put my kids on, let them go to SIU or whatever's the good school around. And then once they finish college, I shut it down, I retire.

[David]

That's smart. You know, I think that's nice. I think you're right.

[Jocelyn]

It shouldn't be. You don't want a generational strip club in your family.

[David]

No, you, you, you give them, you sell it and you, you put it in a trust for them. You, you do not make that who they become because. Right. No survivors.

[Jocelyn]

Sooner or later it's going to corrupt one of them.

[David]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jocelyn]

Well, I think we did it.

[David]

I do, I do. I agree with you. I think that despite being called that, that nasty name that we were called, I think we certainly address the issue at hand.

[Jocelyn]

Yeah.

[David]

You want to tell the people where they can find you what cool shit you got going on.

[Jocelyn]

Cool guy jokes. 87 on Instagram patreon.com David Bourie to buy my special, I'm going to be in Dayton, Kentucky, which is basically Cincinnati, Ohio, March 14th at the Comedy Commonwealth. And March 15th, I'm going to be in Minneapolis at the Comedy Corner Underground. Come see those. Buy our, Buy our merch T shirts and stuff. I want to say too, I know Mandel's a grown man. It was just the funniest, the idea of that man with that voice as an 11 year old.

[David]

No, I don't think anybody took you seriously. We're big we could not be bigger Mando fans on this side of town.

[Jocelyn]

Anyways. Yeah, where are you going to be?

[David]

As always, you can follow me Langston Kerman on all social media platforms. You can come see me live. I'm going to be in Vermont Comedy Club in March. I'm going to be at Wise Guys Utah Salt Lake City in April as well as Wise Guys Las Vegas. You can buy our merch. You can follow us at my mama Pod told me Pod. I don't know what it is on instagram but follow our instagram like subscribe rate review Send us your own drops, your own conspiracies theories. Send us your young I guess we gotta we're either unks or we can't keep rejecting everything they call us so little freakies I guess I'd rather be a little freaky than an unk. So send us alternatives to little freakies I guess [e-mail] give us a call at 844-LITTLE MOMS. The voicemails can now be three minutes long, which is very exciting and and buy the merch. Okay, bye.

[Jocelyn]

Mini Episode Many episodes Mini episode Mini episode Mini episode Mini Episode.

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