START THE STEAL TOUR: PORTLAND!

Summary

Podcast Summary: My Momma Told Me – START THE STEAL TOUR: PORTLAND!

Episode Information:

• Title: START THE STEAL TOUR: PORTLAND!
• Release Date: December 19, 2024
• Hosts: Langston Kerman and David Bore from Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts

---

Introduction to Portland Conspiracies

The episode kicks off with the hosts diving into a satirical conspiracy theory surrounding Portland. They humorously debunk the idea that a sunspot on Rasheed Wallace's head is anything other than a birthmark, leading to a broader discussion about the city's dynamics.

• Host: "We finally work to prove that the sunspot on Rasheed Wallace's head is not a birthmark. It's the white poison you put in his body." ([03:15])

Scottie Pippen and Larsa Pippen's Turbulent Relationship

Langston and David navigate the tumultuous relationship between Scottie Pippen and his ex-wife, Larsa Pippen. They mockingly discuss Scottie's lack of financial success compared to his on-court achievements and Larsa's high-profile affair with rapper Future.

• Langston Kerman: "His entire career, he made no money. Then he marries Larsa Pippen, supposed to be the crown jewel." ([05:35])
• Host: "Larsa Pippen then has an affair with the rapper Future. Very public affair." ([06:09])

The Police-Firework Conspiracy in Portland

A significant portion of the episode revolves around the idea that Portland police are clandestinely setting off fireworks to destabilize neighborhoods. The hosts elaborate on this theory with a mix of humor and critical commentary.

• Host: "We like to make sure that the audience gets to be a part of it." ([09:07])
• Langston Kerman: "I truly don't think he was supposed to be raggedy like that." ([03:15])
• Host: "I don't trust fucking police." ([15:44])

Interactive Segment: Hero or Hotep

In this audience participatory game, volunteers are asked to determine whether specific quotes are from a "hero" or a "hotep" (a term referring to certain conspiratorial figures within the black community). The game delves into community perceptions and biases.

• Quote Example:

  • Participant Ade: "I do not support Black Lives Matter. I'm not following one bitch, let alone three gay bitches nowhere." ([26:25])
  • Host: "Very clearly a hotep for you." ([27:10])

• Notable Interaction:

  • Host: "I didn't love it. That's Scottie Pippen's never been light skinned." ([07:58])
  • Langston Kerman: "He doesn't know what's going on with Scottie Pippen?" ([06:33])

Interactive Segment: Uncooning Man

This game challenges participants to "uncoon" a prominent figure within the black community by presenting humorous and exaggerated solutions to their alleged "sellout" behaviors.

• Example Scenario:

  • Host: "Hootie from Hootie and the Blowfish. And yes, we know his name isn't actually Hootie. It's Darius, but he's Hootie to us." ([56:07])
  • Participant: "Referencing 9 11. Who gives a fuck about New York?" ([30:50])

• Notable Reaction:

  • Host: "What you think, Joe?" ([46:04])
  • Participant Joe: "He's super into Gundam." ([47:38])

Interactive Segment: Quid Pro Quo

In the final game of the evening, "Quid Pro Quo," participants are presented with hypothetical scenarios requiring them to weigh the benefits against the costs, reflecting on complex societal issues through a comedic lens.

• Example Scenario:

  • Host: "We completely liberate black men from our deep rooted social and cultural fears around homosexuality. But you find out that once a week, your daddy plays naked basketball with Jamie Foxx." ([82:20])
  • Participant: "I'd be disappointed that it took this long for me to know that for." ([83:11])

• Notable Interaction:

  • Host: "I've been as well. I lick the cherries." ([101:22])
  • Langston Kerman: "He's a cool ass hoe." ([101:26])

Conclusion and Final Remarks

As the tour wraps up in Portland, the hosts express their gratitude to the audience, reflect on the evening's discussions and games, and hint at future content. The episode concludes with light-hearted banter and final interactions with the audience.

• Host: "We have one more game." ([80:05])

• Langston Kerman: "That's it. That's the whole thing." ([77:21])

• Closing Line:

  • Host: "You can now watch episodes of My Mama Told Me on YouTube. Follow at My Mama Told Me and subscribe to our channel." ([110:05])

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. On Scottie Pippen's Circumstances:

   • Host: "Scottie Pippen, he's a hero. He's never done anything questionable." ([05:38])

2. On Police Distrust:

   • Langston Kerman: "I don't trust fucking police." ([15:44])

3. During "Hero or Hotep" Game:

   • Participant Ade: "I do not support Black Lives Matter. I'm not following one bitch, let alone three gay bitches nowhere." ([26:25])
   • Host: "Very clearly a hotep for you." ([27:10])

4. On Uncooning Cultural Icons:

   • Host: "Hootie from Hootie and the Blowfish. And yes, we know his name isn't actually Hootie." ([56:07])

5. During "Quid Pro Quo" Game:

   • Host: "We completely liberate black men from our deep rooted social and cultural fears around homosexuality. But you find out that once a week, your daddy plays naked basketball with Jamie Foxx." ([82:20])
   • Participant: "I'd be disappointed that it took this long for me to know that for." ([83:11])

6. Final Audience Interaction:

   • Langston Kerman: "She's allergic to cherries though, right?" ([104:35])

---

Insights and Conclusions

Throughout the episode, Langston Kerman and David Bore employ sharp wit and satire to explore and critique various conspiracy theories within the black community and broader societal issues. By engaging the audience through interactive games, they encourage listeners to reflect on stereotypes, distrust in institutions, and cultural dynamics, all while maintaining a humorous and provocative tone. The Portland episode serves as both an entertaining and thought-provoking installment in the "Start the Steal Tour," encapsulating the show's mission to dissect and discuss contentious topics through comedy.

Transcript

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[Live Nation Advertiser]

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[Podcast Host]

Hi, everyone.

[Savannah Guthrie]

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[Podcast Host]

From festive performances and great gift ideas.

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[Podcast Host]

For me personally, I was one of those people who, like many of us, weren't taught about finances. You know, my parents didn't know, but now this is the time where I can become somebody who creates generational wealth. Or I just sort of end up being in the same hamster wheel that we've been in for generations.

[Del Taco Advertiser]

At this point, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. State Farm. Proud sponsor of my Cultura podcast network.

[Podcast Host]

Hey, what the fuck is up, Portland?

[Langston Kerman]

I.

[Podcast Host]

I think a perfect intro. Yeah. Nailed our names. No missteps whatsoever. And that's the music they play every week for all the comedians. That wasn't race specific at all.

[Langston Kerman]

Nope.

[Podcast Host]

All right, we should get this done.

[Langston Kerman]

Let's get into it. I'm excited.

[Podcast Host]

Fish don't fry in the kitchen. Beans don't burn on the grill. Took a whole lot of Trying just to get up that hill. There it is. There it is. Welcome to another phenomenal live episode of.

[Langston Kerman]

My Mama Told Me, the podcast, where we dive deep into the pockets of.

[Podcast Host]

Black conspiracy theories and we finally work to prove that the sunspot on Rasheed Wallace's head is not a birthmark. It's the white poison you put in his body.

[Langston Kerman]

Let's go.

[Podcast Host]

Whatever the fuck you did to him, Portland, is bleeding through his fucking scalp.

[Langston Kerman]

I truly don't think he was supposed to be raggedy like that.

[Podcast Host]

No. Rasheed Wallace was a good man. And you broke him. He had to overcompensate for what he was. And now he's beating up people in this, in the stands because of you.

[Langston Kerman]

He lived through your bullshit also, Greg, Odin. You had something to do with this. You had something to do with it.

[Podcast Host]

You're the reason his legs are different lengths. Y'all did that. Those were good boys. Before they met you.

[Langston Kerman]

She used to look so tired.

[Podcast Host]

Man. That. That was a team. I will say, Portland, obviously, we're being silly. That was a team I really fucking believed in. Right.

[Langston Kerman]

That, that.

[Podcast Host]

That Rasheed Wallace, Scottie Pippen combo, before.

[Langston Kerman]

We knew how bad that was going to go. Scottie Pippen, he's a hero. He's never done anything questionable.

[Podcast Host]

Wait, what do you mean? What happened to Scotty? He's doing great. He's nailing it. Are you guys aware of what's happening with Scottie Pippen? You're reacting as if you're not totally tapped in. Damn. I hate working with white people.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, that was supposed to be a home run.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, that's what I was feeling. I was like, you nailed that. Why aren't people. Okay, how do we run down.

[Langston Kerman]

What do you call. What's happening to him?

[Podcast Host]

Okay. Scottie Pippen.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know what cucked means, but I feel like somehow that is getting cucked.

[Podcast Host]

He's getting cucked.

[Langston Kerman]

What's happening to him?

[Podcast Host]

And he didn't volunteer for.

[Langston Kerman]

No, he doesn't like it. He's going through a lot of bad haircuts as well.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. So Scotty Pippen, most famously on the bulls.

[Langston Kerman]

The.

[Podcast Host]

The 90s championship bulls.

[Langston Kerman]

Both of the three peats, Right?

[Podcast Host]

Both of the three peats. And Anna taste more. And then they got rid of him, sent him here. Scotty Pippen, since then has made. It sort of became public knowledge that he made almost no money throughout his career, that he. He basically was working for free, much like we are tonight.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

His entire career, he made no money. Then he marries Larsa Pippen, supposed to.

[Langston Kerman]

Be the crown jewel.

[Podcast Host]

That's what we're talking about. Yes. So Larsa Pippen. Larsa Pippen then has an affair with the rapper Future. Very public affair. So public, in fact, that everybody knows about it while the affair is happening, including the Internet. It's not even like, oh, Scott found out and they worked it out together. It's actively happening. They keep catching his wife.

[Langston Kerman]

With the future, literally your greatest fear as a husband, the one thing you're like, we could survive anything. Just don't let her get caught.

[Podcast Host]

With Future, baby, we can get past your gambling day.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Please don't fuck Future. I'm begging you. So he's so Future.

[Langston Kerman]

First Future, then.

[Podcast Host]

Then her. Her. His ex wife starts Jeffrey Jordan. Ain't that his name?

[Langston Kerman]

No, Marcus. Marcus Jordan starts Michael Jordan's son, who.

[Podcast Host]

She used to babysit when he was a boy.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Scotty would drop his wife off for some reason at Michael Jordan's house.

[Langston Kerman]

Another thing, you just can't do that.

[Podcast Host]

You don't do that.

[Langston Kerman]

And trust me, his haircuts have reflected his pain. He got the thin braids. Yeah. The thin braids of a much younger man.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, right.

[Langston Kerman]

Like after a certain age, your braids can only be so thin.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. You're not supposed to be able to see the wrinkles in your scalp.

[Langston Kerman]

Nope.

[Podcast Host]

Between braids.

[Langston Kerman]

He's got like bad, no offense, light skin head, which is not great.

[Podcast Host]

I didn't love it.

[Langston Kerman]

I know it. And I'm sorry.

[Podcast Host]

And I'll be honest, that to me, felt a little. Scottie Pippen's never been light skinned.

[Langston Kerman]

Do you not think so?

[Podcast Host]

No. Scottie Pippen and Will Smith are the same color.

[Langston Kerman]

Wow. Which is crazy because on my depth chart, it's not that way. Right. But you have to think I'm operating at a Wesley Snipes five brother. So you understand that there is brother.

[Podcast Host]

You really tip a scale.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. There's a handicap on my part and I'm trying to get better about that. And that's really what this podcast is about. Improving our relations and then possibly yours.

[Podcast Host]

We're so grateful that you all will come out to this. David and I have. This is the last stop of the tour.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, we did it.

[Podcast Host]

We ended it all in Portland. And it's been great. It's been a really fun tour, but we're really excited to be here with you. These, these shows, we, we like to make it very audience participatory. We really like to make sure that the audience gets to be a part of it.

[Langston Kerman]

And so certain members of the.

[Podcast Host]

I mean, everybody can participate. But we'll tell you when that changes.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

There's a few key spots where we're ask a few of y'all to sit this one out.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And by a few, I mean the vast majority.

[Langston Kerman]

The book. The book, which this is. I think we could say it is our whitest show. Not like we saw Portland on the list, and we were like, that one's gonna go crazy.

[Podcast Host]

I assure you, this could not be our blackest. Even if you tried, this wasn't gonna be it. And you came and you said, we're not even gonna work on it.

[Langston Kerman]

And to that, I do appreciate that. They're like, it can't be Brooklyn.

[Podcast Host]

I love it. I love that you two said, we don't need a black person here tonight.

[Langston Kerman]

That's cool.

[Podcast Host]

It's me and you. Me and my baby boo. That's fucking cool. Okay. But in these local.

[Langston Kerman]

We start with the local one. We like to start with the conspiracy.

[Podcast Host]

To warm you up.

[Langston Kerman]

We. Oh, that's. And that's. You're kind of falling off again. So throughout this tour, he started pantomiming finger. We said, warm them up, and he was trying to finger, like, upside down.

[Podcast Host]

Almost like one would work on a Honda Civic. You sort of underneath the hood, but you ain't got to put your whole hand.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, he's just feeling around.

[Podcast Host]

It's a little car. You ain't got to do that much.

[Langston Kerman]

But then you've gotten better throughout the tour, and then now it feels like you've fallen off on your finger game.

[Podcast Host]

I'm high.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, you're also a father. You got other things to worry about.

[Podcast Host]

Got other. Other things to worry about. You can't just be a father this whole time.

[Langston Kerman]

That's fair. That's fair.

[Podcast Host]

It hasn't corrected my behavior in any way. Honestly. Made me worse.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's the problem.

[Podcast Host]

I think I used to be a more decent man, and then I had kids, and I was like, no, I got to say something nasty. When they're not around, I got to be nasty because they be around all the time. I got to get it. You know what I mean? You ever met a dad who's just too into the party?

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

That's where I'm at as a.

[Langston Kerman]

Like, he's always like. As a single guy. I get a lot of that with my married friends. Like, how's the road? You've been getting any pussy? You're like, bro, stop talking to me.

[Podcast Host]

I gotta assume you get like two, two, three every weekend. It's like, no, man, I haven't.

[Langston Kerman]

And that's how I count it, as pussy. I got three pussies this month.

[Podcast Host]

You're rubbing your head trying to figure out how you can fix this. We like to kick this off when we come to the low to the. The places we're at, with the local conspiracy.

[Langston Kerman]

With a local one. Yeah. Get you guys used to it.

[Podcast Host]

Warm you up, give you something you might be familiar with. Portland was tough for black conspiracy theories. I'll be honest. We've. We haven't had any trouble finding something that felt specifically black.

[Langston Kerman]

A lot of cities had extras.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Sometimes we'll be in the back arguing like, no, it's gotta be this one.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. You'd be surprised what's going on in Detroit.

[Podcast Host]

We. We struggled, but we did land on something that I'm excited about and I'm curious to know if you guys are aware of. My mama told me about the Portland boom. One guy, one guy, one dude in a backwoods hat knows about the Portland boom. Care to. To enlighten us about the Portland.

[Langston Kerman]

Tell us about it.

[Podcast Host]

And tell us why you have food under your mouth. No, it's not your fault. I engaged you as you took the biggest bite of a nacho I've ever seen in my life.

[Langston Kerman]

Don't play him out. That's like a sampler platter. I think it's a candy, like, right outside.

[Podcast Host]

So apparently, much to that. That explanation, apparently there was a originally a boom many years ago in Camby, Oregon, that went off and nobody had an explanation for what that boom was. And then that boom started to travel to more places and became the Portland boom. This is a screenshot from a real website. I don't want y'all to think I made this myself. This is not my art. I got other shit going on. I feel like some of y'all really reacted like I wrote these words. These are not my pros. A different man made [e-mail] now what it says is that just after 8pm on Sunday, March 28, 2010, a deafening boom was heard throughout Southeast Portland. The noise was loud enough to shake windows and set off car alarms in Southeast Portland and was heard as a far as far north as Vancouver and as far east as Happy Valley. And none of y'all know about it, but this dude.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, where were you? Maybe this is a conspiracy. Yeah. How do only we know about it? And this guy? It's just us and chicken Tenders and nobody else.

[Podcast Host]

Unfortunately, sir, that is your name for the rest of the show. We will be checking back in on chicken tenders periodically. Now, what it did make me think of, because naturally, I hate to break this to you, PortlandBoom.com almost certainly is run by a white person. I have no doubt. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

It has to be.

[Podcast Host]

But what it did make me think of is a conspiracy we've talked about a little bit. I don't know that we've unpacked a ton about the. The theory that police are the ones that set off the fireworks year year round.

[Langston Kerman]

We have heard that.

[Podcast Host]

Which I think happens in every city.

[Langston Kerman]

I think so. I think so for sure that I'm on board with this one already.

[Podcast Host]

You like that?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Tell me more.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't trust fucking police.

[Podcast Host]

Sure.

[Langston Kerman]

And I think that the idea of being a chaos agent to adding to, like, impoverished neighborhoods totally seems like things they would do.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Just set off some firecrackers and drive off and in theory, blaming all the foreigners. Oh, I saw you never.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, you guys have never heard white people talk about.

[Podcast Host]

Oh.

[Langston Kerman]

Living in Latino neighborhoods?

[Podcast Host]

Oh, yeah. I always, I always pictured it as more homegrown Latinos than I did.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, you didn't think we were importing firework users?

[Podcast Host]

No, I, I, I guess.

[Langston Kerman]

And maybe this is just my, this conversation feels complicated.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna be careful.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I always thought that the people setting off the fireworks were like LA natives more than like immigrant families who had just moved in. You feel attacked. Oh. Because of la.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh. Do you have.

[Podcast Host]

I don't give a fuck.

[Langston Kerman]

Do you have fireworks on you?

[Podcast Host]

Don't say I feel attacked during a race conversation. And then make it regional.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that was.

[Podcast Host]

I don't give a fuck. I thought I was gonna have to apologize. That was a much more egregious crime. And you're like, I don't like that.

[Langston Kerman]

That was the part that made you uncomfortable.

[Podcast Host]

You shut the fuck up. I don't want to hear another peep out of you. You insane? Come out here too.

[Langston Kerman]

I ain't Mexican.

[Podcast Host]

He ain't Mexican. We're talking about our favorite Mexicans. God damn it.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, man.

[Podcast Host]

So angry at her. Chicken fingers. I know you would never do that to me.

[Langston Kerman]

He wouldn't.

[Podcast Host]

You would never make me feel that way.

[Langston Kerman]

Don't sell her out, Fingers.

[Podcast Host]

Chicky baby, you.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm really glad. That was great crowd control, this guy. Very talented.

[Podcast Host]

You. You really believe that the police would do this?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. It doesn't seem crazy how many of.

[Podcast Host]

You guys believe that the police would do that by round. Yeah. Round of applause. Yeah. It seems very plausible.

[Langston Kerman]

It doesn't seem even crazy to me. It seems like something they would like to do, like, oh, shit, it's quitting time. You know what? We gotta go set off those fireworks. Yeah, I'll go play softball or beat up our girlfriends or whatever. I'm sure they have other recreational activities. Probably play pool or something.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. It also doesn't ever, to me seem like it's mandated. Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't think that, like, the commissioner sits them down and is like, our firework budget is going to waste this month.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, yeah. I think that. I feel like a lot of the bad that police do is not mandated.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what? I think that a lot of it's like, it doesn't come down directly, but you hire the type of people who are. You know what I mean? It's like his boss didn't tell him to hit that kid in the head, but, like, if nobody's around, you can hit a kid. Yeah, that's. That's how I feel with that a lot of the time.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. I think they probably just are passionate and they're like, I don't know. I got a few extra 100 bucks this month. I'm gonna buy some fireworks.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, you think that they're buying the fireworks to plant? I assumed they were seizing them from other minorities and then robbing Peter to pay.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, that's smart. That makes way more sense.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, because then it's like, we got.

[Podcast Host]

They were just cool guys who are like, I'mma buy some fireworks. I'll give a few to my kid. I'll set some off in the black neighborhoods. I don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, no, I think they just got them in the basement anyways.

[Podcast Host]

Wow. You know, that's that. Damn.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Sometimes this opening one gets dark.

[Podcast Host]

Let me ask you this before we move off this opening, okay. We. We are all. It seems mostly in agreement that this is well within the potential of the police. My question, and Portland maybe is a great place to ask this question. Is there something we can do about it? Is there anything that can be done? If it's just this understood thing that's happening? Is there any justice that can be served on the back end of this?

[Langston Kerman]

You want me to go against the. Like, I'm not going to go to war for it.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Langston Kerman]

There's other shit they're doing I'm more upset about. But, like, do I think. No, I don't think there's any fuck. What do you think?

[Podcast Host]

Well, no, I'm not going to say yes now. I'd look like an idiot. If we just come together, we can change this thing. No, I don't. I don't necessarily feel that way either. It's disappointing. I didn't have to take it darker.

[Langston Kerman]

No, that's okay. Let him sit in it. Yeah, this is the last show of the tour, baby. I'm going home after this. Yeah, we didn't find out what I.

[Podcast Host]

Really sit back when we talked. We don't give a anymore. We used to be right here. Just hoping you guys are still paying attention. We like to play a lot of games on this tour. This is sort of the main thing that we do. And we have a couple. Three really fun games. Really fun with you guys. And this first game, it's. It's a new classic, baby. We love it so much. It's an easy game called Hero or hotel.

[Langston Kerman]

That's right. There we go. Did you make that graphic though?

[Podcast Host]

I did not, no. Unfortunately. No.

[Langston Kerman]

That's a good one.

[Podcast Host]

That's a pretty good one. That's for those that are unaware. That's handsome Squidward. Wearing a number of different types of kente cloth.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Pan African garb I would call it.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, it was an area.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

My man got a lot going on.

[Langston Kerman]

I like the classic kids o clock the top one. That's like traditional, right?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, it's much more true. That's the. That's the. That's the.

[Langston Kerman]

That's the core pattern. Right.

[Podcast Host]

And this is. Oops. All kente. There's been a big mistake at the kente factory. I pulled the wrong nozzle. Now all the kentes are mixed together but for the same price.

[Langston Kerman]

This is like one of those local commercials.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

My mistake is your game. So come on down to the Kinte factory. I'm going nut.

[Podcast Host]

Bro. We should shoot that sketch. That's very funny.

[Langston Kerman]

We should found that business.

[Podcast Host]

That's fucking funny.

[Langston Kerman]

It's going as good as comedy.

[Podcast Host]

None of you devils better steal the kente.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh no, no.

[Podcast Host]

I better not see Nanan 1 Kente factory in Portland, Oregon.

[Langston Kerman]

That I would go crazy.

[Podcast Host]

I would lose my shit.

[Langston Kerman]

I would find some cops, take their fireworks and shoot them into all your windows.

[Podcast Host]

Burn down the kente factory with your family inside.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. And they never guess it's me. Cause kind of the perfect crime, burning down a white person's kente factory. David, you're a genius. Sometimes I'm upset that I'm saying Things into a microphone.

[Podcast Host]

Fuck. God damn, that's funny. The way this game works, we are gonna present to volunteers. And we'd love to have volunteers. Michael, right? Yeah. Fuck yeah. Michael is gonna be walking around with a microphone to help manage this whole thing.

[Langston Kerman]

Sort of our white slave.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, that's right. That's. He works for us. And yes, we yell at him sometimes, but that's the way it has to be.

[Langston Kerman]

It's a cultural exchange. He's Australian.

[Podcast Host]

Michael's gonna walk around with a microphone for the volunteers so that you can talk. But the way this game works, we're going to present to you some quotes, and it is your job to decide if that quote is the words of a hero or a hotep.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know these either, so I'm playing with you. I don't know. Only Langston knows.

[Podcast Host]

If you don't know what a hotep is, which.

[Langston Kerman]

So much polite laughter when the game came out. Oh, yes, that game.

[Podcast Host]

Yes. The one I'm most familiar with. Yep. I can connect to this one right away. A hotep is a black person who believes that the black man is God or as close to God as one can be on this celestial plane. And he. He is very passionate about that.

[Langston Kerman]

And I think also conspiracy minded, for sure.

[Podcast Host]

Conspiracy minded and not particularly interested in hearing what you ladies have to say.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Not a lot of queen rhetoric coming from.

[Podcast Host]

No.

[Langston Kerman]

The hoteps, maybe.

[Podcast Host]

Maybe the black man is God and maybe you shut the fuck up.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Is sort of the energy that comes off of a hotep. I think that's all you really need to know to be able to play this.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. You'll start to feel it out.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Okay. Okay. So we need a volunteer to play. Yes. Oh, thank God. First hand, immediately.

[Langston Kerman]

Let's go.

[Podcast Host]

Here we go. Please tell us your name. Hi. Hi.

[David Bore]

My name's Ade.

[Podcast Host]

K A day. A day. Okay. Hell yeah, Ade. Thank you for being here. Okay. Your quote is okay.

[Langston Kerman]

I do not support Black Lives Matter. I'm not following one bitch, let alone three gay bitches nowhere.

[David Bore]

No, that's a hoax.

[Langston Kerman]

And now there's a lot of trigger words in this for Hotepuri.

[David Bore]

Very clearly a hotel.

[Podcast Host]

If you said you were offended by this.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, there we.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, I'm listening. You mad because I said LA is complicated.

[Langston Kerman]

She didn't know what was going to happen. To be fair.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, how are we feeling? Hero or hotep?

[David Bore]

Very clearly a hotep.

[Podcast Host]

Very clearly a hotep for you. Okay. I mean, seeing a lot of nods. Not every okay. You.

[Langston Kerman]

I think it has to be a hotel.

[David Bore]

It hits all of the benchmarks of Hotepuri.

[Podcast Host]

Tell us what those are.

[David Bore]

He hates women.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

Especially gay women. Lesbians. And honestly, I do think it is a black person who said this. Yeah, it's just there's something self hating in all of this.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, interesting.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

I was gonna say it's also the typical Hotep trope where he gets angrier after he talks about gay people.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Like, you know, it's like he's usually on point with the rhetoric and then it's like, I'm not following no gay bitch.

[David Bore]

Exactly.

[Langston Kerman]

That.

[Podcast Host]

They just make me so mad. Okay, you're locking in hotep. You feel good today?

[Langston Kerman]

About.

[Podcast Host]

About hotep.

[Langston Kerman]

Is there some dissent at the table?

[David Bore]

Just said he thinks it's Umar. I think it's someone worse than Umar.

[Podcast Host]

You think it's worse?

[Langston Kerman]

I don't. I don't feel like this feels Umar to me.

[David Bore]

It feels like booy.

[Podcast Host]

Whoa.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. I like that. No, I. I think that's a good answer. I think you're doing. That's really. I like that. The table's in on it. This is great. This is.

[Langston Kerman]

This good. Lock in.

[Podcast Host]

What are you feeling?

[Langston Kerman]

I feel like it's not Umar because I don't.

[Podcast Host]

He don't call women.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it's not. I don't think he would. This feels like. It feels like a let. Like a more uncout. Like a Charleston White era. That's kind of where this feels.

[Podcast Host]

The answer is Charleston White.

[Langston Kerman]

That hairline is nasty. Yo, why is he guys got a.

[Podcast Host]

Caesar like a white dude?

[Langston Kerman]

Why does he look like he's in a boy band?

[Podcast Host]

He said, give me that pangea.

[Langston Kerman]

That shade is crazy.

[David Bore]

That's a Tory Lanez hairline.

[Podcast Host]

That is a Tory Lane rip. Tory Lanez. We miss you, big dog. Gone but not forgotten, Tori. Okay, thank you.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. That was a good one.

[Podcast Host]

That was great. What a great way to kick it off.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't love that. I'm starting to feel out Charleston White quotes.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, that seems like you could smell a Charleston White.

[Langston Kerman]

I knew it was. I knew it.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Damn. That's bad, right?

[Langston Kerman]

So not a good side of the Internet. To be honest, no.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, we need another volunteer. We need somebody else. Now you know how to play the game. Oh, there's one in the back. All the way back there. That's great. It's going to take a while. So what y'all want to talk about? Wow. Anybody having a bad day?

[Langston Kerman]

How's it going for everybody.

[Podcast Host]

Maybe we can make fun of your family. No, you can. Oh, okay. You have a microphone. Hey, what's your name?

[Savannah Guthrie]

My name is Davita. I'm representing one of the few black people here today.

[Podcast Host]

Fuck, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

I knew it when you said DeVito.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

But I'm glad that you were like, nah. Just in case there's some white devitas out here, I'm gonna make it clear. That's cool. Portland's weird, so, you know, you might have started as Erica and then became Davita. And there's nobody to be like, hey, stop. Don't do that. Okay, Davita, here we go. Your. Your quote is.

[Langston Kerman]

Referencing 9 11. Who gives a fuck about New York? When elephants are being killed, they are ignoring animals that are more important. Animals need saving, and that's more important. This New York thing is being blown all out of proportion. This has to be a white lady. Right? So white woman, which is complicated because of what you put the game into.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, It's a real binary game.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Well, Davido, what do you think? What do you feel?

[Savannah Guthrie]

Okay, first off, being set up with a 911 reference. Why do you have to do me like that?

[Podcast Host]

I honestly don't remember the order of these things. I. I'm so sorry.

[Savannah Guthrie]

I feel like I want to say it's hero because, you know, the heroes are gonna be more celebrities, and I feel like celebrities care about animals a lot, so I feel like I'm gonna go with hero.

[Podcast Host]

Very smart.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. It's almost as if they've lost something inside of themselves. Only seem to relate to animals at this point because you've spun so far out from who you were to begin with.

[Podcast Host]

It's almost like the human experience is so foreign that it's easier to care about an elephant you've never met.

[Langston Kerman]

You live next to Quincy Jones. What are you gonna talk about?

[Podcast Host]

So you're saying hero?

[Savannah Guthrie]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. Gonna need you to say those words out loud, big dog.

[Langston Kerman]

It's just tough. Like I said, I hate the binary. Cause I also have to say hero. Cause I've never heard hoteps talk about animals in this way. No, it's always like, comparing groups to animals. You know what I mean? Where they're like. If they're beasts, that's like, more. They're less like, who's killing all these elephants? Yeah. So I guess I have to say hero as well.

[Podcast Host]

Hero. Audience, how we feeling?

[Langston Kerman]

How you guys feeling?

[Podcast Host]

Hero.

[Langston Kerman]

Hero.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, the answer is Lee Ryan. I don't know. Some white guy. I thought he was important. To y'all. Sometimes I just find weird dudes on the Internet.

[Langston Kerman]

Who is. Who is it? I don't know who.

[Podcast Host]

He's like, some, like, British dude. He was like, an important dude over there for a little while. Y'all don't know. Don't nobody know him. All right, well, he's dead to me.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I don't give a.

[Podcast Host]

He don't care about 9, 11. That guy, as far as I'm concerned. Feel like he was in, like, one direction or something.

[Langston Kerman]

That direction is south. He's not doing so good.

[Podcast Host]

All right. Well, that sucked. That's not your fault, Davita. You did great.

[Langston Kerman]

No, you just. You were strong showing.

[Podcast Host]

Do we have another volunteer? Somebody else wanna.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, right there.

[Podcast Host]

Especially for white people. This is a safe game to play. The next one you can't play at all.

[Langston Kerman]

That's true. We might have to research.

[Podcast Host]

You are worried. You can play this. This is fine. Maybe we should have said that white people. You're cool. Next game. Chill. Yeah, we might have to talk to DeVita a few times tonight. Yes, please. My name's Connie. Connie, thank you for being here.

[Langston Kerman]

Your quote, being born was the most influential thing that's ever happened to me. For myself.

[Savannah Guthrie]

I'm gonna say hero because believing in oneself, that's a good thing.

[Podcast Host]

And I think that a lot of.

[Savannah Guthrie]

Like, hotep ideals come from, like. Like, actually really low self esteem.

[Podcast Host]

Whoa.

[Langston Kerman]

I like that. I like that.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. You're saying. You're saying that just the faith itself is. Is inspirational enough and true enough in this person's statement that you believe it to be a hero.

[Savannah Guthrie]

Yeah. Someone who puts that much importance on the day they were born, I think they also have respect for their mother, for themselves.

[Podcast Host]

Oh.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, wow.

[Savannah Guthrie]

They're feeling it.

[Podcast Host]

Connie. No misogyny. Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

See, I feel opposite. I feel like people who care too much about their birthday are like, shut the fuck up. Yeah, my birthday's a week. Shut up.

[Podcast Host]

I don't give a fuck, man.

[Langston Kerman]

But that being said, I do. This isn't. This doesn't seem like a hotep, because hoteps, for as much bullshit as they're on, are often talking about unity and, like, less about, like, individual realism. Like that.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, I hear that.

[Langston Kerman]

So I think I. I think I gotta go hero.

[Podcast Host]

So it sounds like two heroes.

[Langston Kerman]

Two heroes.

[Podcast Host]

No hotel audience. What are we feeling? Hero or hotel? Mostly hero. I hear one hotep in the corner. Okay, you think it's Kanye? Oh, no, I'm hearing a lot of strong Kanye, which then makes y'all saying heroes. Real confusing.

[Langston Kerman]

No. You know what this game is, though.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, but Kanye is kind of hotep at this point. Oh, when did he say it is? Whoa.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. That's true.

[Podcast Host]

I don't know if you checked on him recently, but he don't see them kids too often. He's making other choices. He's got a new dentist, if you know what I mean. I get what you're saying, but I'm just saying that at this point in his journey, Kanye's whole position, even in the loving of Hitler, was rooted in him being like, they stole everything from us, truly, the original Jewish black people.

[Langston Kerman]

Right. Which is a hotel point.

[Podcast Host]

That's a hotel.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Ever there was one. Like, he's. He's pretty deep in the. And he also loves white women, and that's hard.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I. I bet he struggles with that every day. He wakes up and puts on his robot teeth and he. I think.

[Podcast Host]

I think more to the point, Kanye's is far more mentally ill than he is anything.

[Langston Kerman]

Definitely. Right. Which is. Yeah. Which has come up in this game a lot, actually.

[Podcast Host]

I. I think, unfortunately, we should not even be judging him off of any of his choices. We should be helping him seek true treatment, and we won't do that. So. Yeah. That somebody said, I don't know. I don't know. Ah, he's fine. He looks all right to me. He's not hurting in my book. He did it to himself is what I say. The. Unfortunately, you're wrong about it. It's being Kanye West. It's not Kanye West. It's even funnier. It's Jaden Smith.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Ain't that fun? This is why we play this game. This is why it's important.

[Langston Kerman]

For him. That is true. I believe him. Like, he feels that way for sure.

[Podcast Host]

Truly believe.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I think it was the best thing that happened to him, too, man.

[Podcast Host]

Crazy. Okay, another volunteer. Somebody else raised their hand. Oh, hell yeah. Right in this corner. Yeah, Here we go. Sorry, Mike. Oh, it's. He got that grill in a rush.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it looks dirty.

[Podcast Host]

It's a little bigger than his teeth.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Either. Either got it in a rush, or he said, hey, give me some chompers.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I'm trying to bite the. Out of somebody with diamonds. I'm gonna have a big steak tonight, and I don't want to chew too many times. What's your name, man? Kelby. Kelby. Yeah. Fuck, yeah. Kelby. Okay, here we go. Here's your quote.

[Langston Kerman]

If white America. If white Americans were to leave the country Tomorrow, in 10 years, America would be a ghetto. You can see the truth of this when you look at many of our major cities that are run by black mayors, black dominated city council and black police chiefs. These cities are usually horrible places to live. Yet blacks who lived in black ruled cities can't see the truth. Their own immortality or their own immorality is the cause of black poverty, crime, and family destruction. Clearly a hero, right? This guy's got some points.

[Podcast Host]

I like that you guys are reacting like that's not right. Hey, wait a minute.

[Langston Kerman]

Whose side are you on, bucko?

[Podcast Host]

I'm starting to think those aren't nice words, Kelby.

[Savannah Guthrie]

Oh, my God.

[Podcast Host]

Why'd I have to volunteer for this one? Oh, God damn it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Say whatever you need to say, Kelby, to make this okay. All right. I grew up in North Portland in the late 90s.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know what that means.

[Podcast Host]

That means.

[Langston Kerman]

David.

[Podcast Host]

He's from a different time. Let him say it.

[Langston Kerman]

I didn't know he was a North Sider.

[Podcast Host]

I was one of very few white people. Oh. So I heard both heroes and hotep say almost the exact. Yeah, the same thing. That's what's fascinating about this quote is it's steeped in enough hatred that it could be a hotel. It could. That's what hurts. I don't want to say hotel. You're going to say hotel.

[Langston Kerman]

I. I'm getting. Can I just step. I'm getting almost like a. Like a Lord Jamar.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I hear what you're saying. It's, it's, it's. It's got the genesis of. Of hatred. But I could fix this.

[Langston Kerman]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

If only they would.

[Langston Kerman]

Right? Like, the next thing is like, that's why we need to start our own currency.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Or whatever. Like there's like another turn after this.

[Podcast Host]

That got cut off.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah. That's how I feel. Which is. Kind of makes me feel like it might be Hotep.

[Podcast Host]

You're going hotel.

[Langston Kerman]

I think I'm going hot up Kelby Kelvin.

[Podcast Host]

We're missing the one sentence to plug crypto. That would make it hotel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

That's fair.

[Podcast Host]

Unfortunately, it's not there. It's not there. So what are you gonna do? Oh, Kelby, I'm gonna say hotel. Okay. Grit my teeth and say it.

[Langston Kerman]

Saying hero into that microphone would have been.

[Podcast Host]

It's either a hotep or my dad and I. Let me me see. Okay. The answer is I'm hearing Hotep from both of you. Audience hotep. The answer is Jesse Lee Peterson. So not a hotep.

[Langston Kerman]

Not a hero.

[Podcast Host]

Not a hero, neither.

[Langston Kerman]

You got to put that hat back on, man.

[Podcast Host]

I would say. I would say one of the worst men.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, he's up there like that.

[Podcast Host]

Just that the Internet and. And life is sort of produced. I would say Jesse Lee Peterson's pretty high up there.

[Langston Kerman]

He looks like such a villain without that cowboy hat.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, he don't wear a cowboy hat.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, I'm thinking.

[Podcast Host]

You're thinking the sheriff.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Who also has the same Clark.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. They have the same shitty goatee.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. No hair in it or too much hair.

[Podcast Host]

Jesse Lee Peterson goes. He has, like, interview shows where he just basically says quotes like, oh, like.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I have seen that guy.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

So hot. No hero.

[Podcast Host]

Super like Trump.

[Langston Kerman]

So what's the answer to the question, Langston?

[Podcast Host]

That's not how I play the game.

[Langston Kerman]

All right, all right, all right.

[Podcast Host]

I know the answers. Alex Trebek. Don't gotta say it out loud, even though he does sometimes. But that's his choice. That's his choice. You said Trump. I think that kind of lands on hotel, doesn't it? No, he's. He's Trump. Like, Original Recipe Trump. Oh, shit. He's not, like, recent. Oh, we've come to see black people are not a monolith. We can be whatever we want to be as soon as the federal laws change. He's. He's 100. Like. Nah. I was. I was with this from the beginning because he didn't like.

[Savannah Guthrie]

Ow.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, that sucks. It sucks bad, man. But thank you for playing the game.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's a good job.

[Podcast Host]

Fucking cool. I think there's one more.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, there's got to be one more.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, we need one more volunteer from the audience. No. Yeah. Look at you. Look. You said no one, and then your man turned on you immediately. What's your name? Joe. Joe. Fuck, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

All right, Joe. I'm excited to see what's gonna happen.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, man. I'm scared, but. No, you'll be fine, Joe. Okay, here we go. Oh, there's two more.

[Langston Kerman]

My God, I'm Japanese and I didn't know it.

[Podcast Host]

What you think, Joe?

[Langston Kerman]

I. I mean.

[Podcast Host]

It doesn't seem, like, hateful enough to be a hotep. Okay, okay.

[Langston Kerman]

Hero.

[Podcast Host]

You're saying hero. There's no hate in this. This is a celebration of Japanese of newly discovered.

[Langston Kerman]

He's not angry about it. Oh, wait.

[Podcast Host]

Is it Gwen Stefani? Wow. That's right. It was. Wow.

[Langston Kerman]

Damn.

[Podcast Host]

You should know. It's actually hateful. You should know that. The reason she said this is because her father was a businessman and her father would regularly travel to Japan and spent a bunch of time in Japan. And she then did not go to Japan. She didn't. She never went to Japan, but felt a connectedness to Japan via her father's business work. He would, like, bring knickknacks back. And then she felt like, oh, I have a connectedness.

[Langston Kerman]

Because he brought her a Tokyo shot glass.

[Podcast Host]

So she's super into Gundam. This is where it gets even crazier. She does not go to Japan until like a month before she wrote the. The. Yeah, the Parajuku girl. Shit. She goes there, she hangs out with them and says this quote out loud to being like, holy shit, I like this so much. I'm Japanese.

[Langston Kerman]

I think she said, I think I'm turning Japanese.

[Podcast Host]

B A N A N A S so congratulations.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, good job, Joe. Good job, Joe.

[Podcast Host]

I think there's one more. I think I did them long.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. Yeah, whatever.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, here we go. Last one. We need one more volunteer. They can be fun like Joe had it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it could be a fun one.

[Podcast Host]

They're not always. I feel like it's a setup. Okay. Yeah, no, it is.

[Langston Kerman]

It should be.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, Here we go.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, most viruses are created by the Food and Drug Administration, the Rockefeller World Population Council. Nearly every virus, Some of them are used for genocide. Others are used to destabilize economies. I believe this coronavirus virus was dropped in China by the United States government. Government to destabilize the Chinese economy. But because the Chinese people operate on the art of war psychology, they will never go public and say, america threw this over here. I think black people need to protect, be protected, period. Because everything coming at us, like the Chinese may have. May have to deal with the coronavirus. We got to deal with the coronavirus. We got. We got Shaniqua virus. They call Zika. We got AIDS virus. We got viruses all day long. I think it's. I think this has to be Hotep.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, we'll go with Hotep. Yeah, you're going Hotep. Yeah. No heroes amongst you.

[Langston Kerman]

No heroes in this village.

[Podcast Host]

Anybody? Any. Any deniers of the coronavirus here this evening? Black RFK? Kind of. It's Dr. Umar Johnson.

[Langston Kerman]

All right.

[Podcast Host]

I would more say RFK is the white him. But I recognize we come from different worlds. It's lenses, not necessarily facts.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

You fuck with him.

[Langston Kerman]

That's not what I said. I said I went down a rabbit hole the other day, and he's got some points because they all do before it starts to unravel.

[Podcast Host]

Can I say, you know why I do fuck with him is because he never takes the route of disparaging women.

[Langston Kerman]

Truly, he which in that space is almost unheard of.

[Podcast Host]

His main thing is female empowerment in some kind of way. And in that way, I don't think he means it and I don't think he's good at it. But I do think he's at least not taking the low road in his.

[Langston Kerman]

Shit, which sounds like a pretty good guy to me.

[Podcast Host]

He don't never call women bitches. He'll never like, you know what I mean? He's just like, no, women are queens. They should act right? But they're queens. And that's kind of as far as hoteps are are concerned. Pretty chill.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. All right, well, that's the end of that game. I don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

That's a good one.

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[Podcast Host]

We have another game.

[Langston Kerman]

This next one's gonna be great.

[Podcast Host]

And it's gonna be black only.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And you'll see why almost immediately. This next game is called the Uncooning Man.

[Langston Kerman]

I've said it so many times this tour. You were going crazy with the raccoon photos. I don't know where you go to get these.

[Podcast Host]

And buddy, that's gonna be my secret.

[Langston Kerman]

I didn't know their tongues were that long.

[Podcast Host]

If you want some water in a jug, you call a raccoon. Whiskers, get over here. Okay, the way this game works, this is a really fun game where we are going to ask you, well, rather present to you a famous coon, a person, a famous sellout in the black community, and you specifically the black people in the audience. You are meant to give us an answer on how they can be uncommed, right?

[Langston Kerman]

And we have an answer as well.

[Podcast Host]

Yes, that. That should be made clear from the beginning. There is a correct answer to each of these questions. It's open ended. You answer however you wish. But just know there is a correct answer and it's on you to land the correct answer if you are able. Okay? Does that make sense to everyone? Okay. All right. We need a volunteer. We need someone brave to step up and play the game. It's very fun. A little nerve wracking. Oh, oh, that's okay.

[Langston Kerman]

That's okay.

[Podcast Host]

We need you, sister. What? Desperate. Let me say the quiet part out loud. We're going to need every one of you to step up. This is going to be a test of the black community and what that really means to us.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I'm going show up. I'm going to show up. Okay. Please. Oh, I got to tell you, you're cool. Hootie from Hootie and the Blowfish. And yes, we know his name isn't actually Hootie. It's Darius, but he's Hootie to us. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Was a Hootie always a Hootie?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Savannah Guthrie]

Yeah. I think he needs to host like a free event in a park that turns into a protest, but also hop on a Megan song.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, okay. I like that.

[Podcast Host]

A little bit of a. Of a Trojan horse. Yeah. Or like showing up with some Blowfish music turns into. To the Black Panthers. Yes, yes.

[Langston Kerman]

He had a panther in that blowfish.

[Podcast Host]

Udi, you're doing it wrong, man. The horse has to be bigger than the people you put it in. Okay, that's a good answer. I like that answer. It's wrong, but it is a good answer.

[Langston Kerman]

It is a good answer.

[Podcast Host]

The correct answer is retroactively.

[Langston Kerman]

Retroactively. Add the word honky to all Hootie and the Blowfish songs. I only want to be with you, Honky. Let her cry. Honky. Hold my hand.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. You get it?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. That was a weird call and response.

[Podcast Host]

Only three of y'all hate yourselves. The rest of y'all are proud white people. I like that. Not calling myself a honky. I run this city.

[Langston Kerman]

That was a good one.

[Podcast Host]

That was great. Okay, the other. The other answer we would have taken is, is start telling people that Hootie is actually short for hoodies. White people with me all the time. I don't know them. I came here to make some good old fashioned nigga music. And the Blowfish.

[Langston Kerman]

Yo, is that what they look like?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know. My man in the back is really angering me.

[Podcast Host]

He said, what's up, fam?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I know Hootie.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, I'm here with Darius. You might know him as Hootie, but that's D money to me. All right, thank you. That was so great. Thank you. You wanna do the next one?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, one more volunteer.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, okay. We're back. Hell yeah. We'll work our way backwards. We'll keep circling around.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. Yes. Please. Oh, I gotta tell you.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I'm on drugs. Don't listen.

[David Bore]

It's fine. Me, too.

[Podcast Host]

All right. Fuck, yeah. You're coon. Was he a coon?

[David Bore]

I feel like he was just doing his best.

[Podcast Host]

I call it like I see it. Franklin ain't got no black friends, and he ain't brought it up once. He ain't been like, charlie. You ever notice that I'm different than y'all? You know, I mean, you ain't got to make a big stink about it.

[Langston Kerman]

But just address it, acknowledge it.

[Podcast Host]

Hey, Snoopy, you ever notice they talk to me the same way they talk to you when you're dressed like Joe? Cool.

[David Bore]

I'm gonna give him grace because he was a child.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[David Bore]

Probably didn't know any better.

[Podcast Host]

This man is 86 years old.

[David Bore]

I mean, date a black woman.

[Podcast Host]

Date a black woman.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. That's a pretty good answer.

[Langston Kerman]

That is pretty good. It could have been mixed.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. Yeah, that's true.

[David Bore]

The answer would stay the same.

[Podcast Host]

Date a black woman. I like that.

[Langston Kerman]

I like that, too.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. It's not right, not correct.

[Langston Kerman]

And that's okay.

[Podcast Host]

That's all right. You tried your best.

[Langston Kerman]

The correct answer we were looking for make Charlie Brown and his little friend start calling him Mr. Franklin. Like that old black man who drives a van and starts dating your mama.

[Podcast Host]

That's right. That's the only correct answer, unfortunately. Now, we also.

[Langston Kerman]

Mr. Franklin's coming over tonight.

[Podcast Host]

Now, you know, you can't touch that plate. That's Mr. Franklin. We. We also would have accepted. Explained to Charlie Brown that Lucy's trick. Trickery with the football is actually reflective of a greater sickness in white women. And the only way for him to truly find happiness is to start dating outside of his race.

[Langston Kerman]

Which you got, basically. Yeah, she basically got it, right.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. But he still could date white women. Charlie gotta fix it. Oh, you know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

That's how a lot of hotels behave, too. They could date white women, but y'all gotta cut that out.

[Langston Kerman]

Right, right, right.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Damn.

[Podcast Host]

Damn.

[Langston Kerman]

That whole thing was diabolical. Look at that look on her face.

[Podcast Host]

Lucy was. Do you. Do y'all feel Lucy was evil? Is that. Is that just.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that was the. Right. That was the point.

[Podcast Host]

I. I wasn't sure if she. Because he was, like, a really Christian guy.

[Langston Kerman]

Charlie Brown.

[Podcast Host]

Charles Schwartz.

[Langston Kerman]

Schultz.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Schultz. He. He was like. That was the whole. It was built on, like, these sort of weird Christian ideologies. So I never understood Lucy's function other than being like, just an evil gal.

[David Bore]

She's neglected at home.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[David Bore]

She takes it out.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, is that what. Isn't her brother there, too? Is Linus her brother?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, Lonus is her brother. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, so they're like. Their parents work a lot.

[Podcast Host]

Oh. And that's why he always has a blanket and he's sucking. Sucking his thumb. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

He's always philosophizing.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. No, Piano dude is a different kid.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. That's Schroeder.

[Podcast Host]

This is actually what the podcast is about. I know a lot of y'all are like, why are they doing this? Because this is what it's meant to be.

[Langston Kerman]

This is what we do. We get to the bottom of.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, we really dig in. Schroeder plays the piano. Linus has the blanket, sucks his thumb, and believes in the great Pumpkin.

[Langston Kerman]

Pig Pen. His parents also aren't around.

[Podcast Host]

Neglected at home is in a bad way.

[Langston Kerman]

Pig Pen is six away from juvie is what he. You know, he smokes cigarettes.

[Podcast Host]

Man.

[Langston Kerman]

All right, all right. That was a good one.

[David Bore]

Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

Thank you. Who's next?

[Langston Kerman]

Who.

[Podcast Host]

Who wants to volunteer? Davita, where you at? Oh, we got a new hand.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, there we go.

[Podcast Host]

Thank you for stepping up. My brother or sister. I can't tell from this. It's a brother. Okay. There we go. Thank God. Because if I was wrong, that was really gonna backfire on me.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's. It's spoiling. We need each other now more than ever.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Tell me. Okay, here we go. Emmanuel Acho. I feel like this ain't gonna work for you all.

[Langston Kerman]

Nope.

[Podcast Host]

Do you guys know Emmanuel Ocho?

[Langston Kerman]

He's, like, the color commentator.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. He does football.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I don't know too much about.

[Podcast Host]

He does Fox Sports one. Yeah. He has. He has a show, more specifically, where he sits down with a successful white person. And it's. It's called Uncomfortable Conversation with Emmanuel Acho.

[Langston Kerman]

He does it with that haircut with the lines. With the lines in the side, which is always evil.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Never a good guy.

[Langston Kerman]

All right, well, we're gonna leave him on an island with Umar for a week.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, we're. We're gonna see if he still has those same views.

[Podcast Host]

I like, man.

[Langston Kerman]

I like this because it's. Trust in Umar as well.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

He was like, umar is not the hero that we want.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

But he might be the hero that.

[Podcast Host]

We need in this. Yeah. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

The show always ends up like that. That's what we always figure out by the end. Umar's got some shit.

[Podcast Host]

I wonder how many views Umar Owes us.

[Langston Kerman]

Clearly dozens. Yeah, you guys should get him on the podcast.

[Podcast Host]

Yes, we tried.

[Langston Kerman]

He wants money that we don't have. Cuz if I had it in the budget, he would, it would have, he'd have been here for this live stream.

[Podcast Host]

We truly. I'd make him our third host if.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, if we could just get the budget down.

[Podcast Host]

He. We emailed Dr. Umar to say, hey, we're big fans. We would love for you to do our podcast.

[Langston Kerman]

This is recently too. Like a month ago. No, not even a month ago.

[Podcast Host]

It was a week ago.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Very recently. He responded by saying, absolutely. It'll be $5,000 for my appearance in person. 3,000 if you want me on Zoom.

[Langston Kerman]

A steal, he said.

[Podcast Host]

He said I also require airfare and housing when I come. And there's no way we get to fly Dr. Umar cheap. It would.

[Langston Kerman]

No, he has to be. But for housing. Wouldn't it be fun if he stayed in your ADU with me?

[Podcast Host]

That'd be dope.

[Langston Kerman]

And we all had like a sleepover.

[Podcast Host]

That's cool.

[Langston Kerman]

Just like, yeah, your wife makes us a pizza rolls. I, I. And we just figure it out.

[Podcast Host]

I honestly like that too, because then he doesn't get to come in my house and meet my children.

[Langston Kerman]

No. Yeah, you can't.

[Podcast Host]

You know what I mean? It's just straight to the adu.

[Langston Kerman]

You're a father.

[Podcast Host]

First we put on matching pajamas and we get to work, man. Damn. So was I right? A week with a week with Dr. Umar on a private island would, would do it for you?

[Langston Kerman]

I think so.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. Lord Epstein. I like that.

[Langston Kerman]

That's an uncomfortable conversation.

[Podcast Host]

Epstein. Of.

[Langston Kerman]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

That's what that is.

[Langston Kerman]

Right?

[Podcast Host]

He went in one way, he's going to come out another. That's what Epstein did.

[Langston Kerman]

No, you did it. Yeah, you did it. All right.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. Unfortunately, that's not the right answer. The right answer is make him donate all the material from his skinny suits to Bow Wow's Do Rag company.

[Langston Kerman]

I think that's a great option.

[Podcast Host]

I think that's nice. That's really supporting the community. And then the alternative would have been.

[Langston Kerman]

Selling back into slavery.

[Podcast Host]

That's his. That's his talk show.

[Langston Kerman]

From the looks of it, he's already there, man.

[Podcast Host]

And for those of you that notice, he is talking to Roger Goodell. He's sitting down with the NFL commissioner for some uncomfortable talks. Betty ain't going to bring up nothing that's happening to those poor boys. Those poor d. Brain damaged boys.

[Langston Kerman]

Those shaky, shaky boys.

[Podcast Host]

All right, that was one. I Don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I had a good time.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, who's next? Who wants to play the. The next round? Pray to God you pass that mic to that lady. I told you, shut the up. Yeah, please. You want to. Do you want to play? Yeah. Hell yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

I was just joking. I can't believe you took me seriously.

[Savannah Guthrie]

Well, I mean, you're looking at me, so I have to do it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. So exciting. All right, what's your name?

[Savannah Guthrie]

Alicia.

[Podcast Host]

Alicia. Okay, here we go. Your coon, Cleveland Brown.

[Savannah Guthrie]

Y'all did me dirty.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, how are you feeling? What's the best approach for. For Cleveland to get out of cooning?

[Savannah Guthrie]

I mean, I'm still on this island vibe with Bryce.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[Savannah Guthrie]

Drop them on an island with just a ton of black women.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. I was gonna say, cuz Dr. Umar can't solve all our problems, but, I.

[Savannah Guthrie]

Mean, maybe some black women with Cleveland Brown could solve some problems.

[Podcast Host]

Just saying black women would solve Cleveland's problem. Now, I will remind you, Cleveland had a black wife. Two black wives.

[Langston Kerman]

Two black wives.

[Podcast Host]

Because remember in. In. In the In Family Guy, he had a black wife and then divorced her, moved across.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, that's right.

[Podcast Host]

And then started a new family with a thicker lady.

[Langston Kerman]

Cleveland's not that bad. Guys.

[Podcast Host]

Pretty good guy.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Pretty decent guy.

[Podcast Host]

He took. He took in our badass kids and is, like, raising them. And.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's Mr. Cleveland.

[Podcast Host]

So I don't know that that dropping them. Dropping them with black women is necessarily the solution, but, I mean, will white women work? No offense, I don't.

[Langston Kerman]

That wasn't the solution. What that was.

[Savannah Guthrie]

I want to keep them with the.

[Podcast Host]

Black women, if you're asking. No, that won't work.

[Savannah Guthrie]

Yeah, let's write that.

[Podcast Host]

But I. I think that's a fair.

[Langston Kerman]

I think that's. I think that was.

[Podcast Host]

Maybe more black women will help push him over the edge.

[Langston Kerman]

It's.

[Podcast Host]

It's not correct. But it is.

[Langston Kerman]

No, it's not correct. What is correct is actually call Chris Hansen on Quagmire and finally get that monster off the streets.

[Podcast Host]

And that's the real way to protect black women is just get him out of here.

[Langston Kerman]

Lock him up.

[Podcast Host]

We also would have accepted. Invite the Freemans from the boondock. From the boondocks over to the Griffin's house for Thanksgiving and force a hostile black takeover of the whole show.

[Langston Kerman]

Look how much more aggressive the animation looks.

[Podcast Host]

A lot of shadows.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. All right. That was a good one.

[Savannah Guthrie]

Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

I think there's one more.

[Langston Kerman]

I think we got one more.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, one More. Okay. We need one more violence volunteer for this game. And then white people, you'll be free to participate again, I assure you. Okay. Hell, yeah. Here we go, brother with the headphones. Oh, hey. What's your name? I'm Brooke. Say it again?

[Langston Kerman]

Brooke.

[Podcast Host]

Brooke.

[Langston Kerman]

Brooke.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. All right. Brooke. You're cool.

[Langston Kerman]

This is my favorite one.

[Podcast Host]

For those listening at home. It's the butler from Lee Daniels. The butler.

[Langston Kerman]

All right.

[Podcast Host]

I haven't seen the butler, so I'm just going off of this image. Right.

[Langston Kerman]

I think it tells you everything you need. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Man. Can I phone a friend?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. It's okay. You're dealing with a lot of hatred in your heart right now. I understand. This picture invokes all kinds of feelings.

[Podcast Host]

It's just his expression. He's like. He looks enamored with someone who probably shouldn't be.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on. You know you hate it.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Oh, just like.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Just. Just leave the situation. Get out of there. Just throw his other suit down and walk out of there.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh.

[Podcast Host]

Rob the family. Rob the family. Okay. Rob the White House.

[Langston Kerman]

Wait, hold on.

[Podcast Host]

Whoa, wait. I mean, like. Yeah, let me remind you. The butler is about the butler to the president.

[Langston Kerman]

I haven't.

[Podcast Host]

I don't know that he's gonna get away with this one. Just gonna be like. Like a tycoon millionaire or something. No, no, no. It is the president united. It's like eight of them.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Not the ones you like.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, it's like Grover Cleveland or some. Him and his family and everything.

[LifeLock Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. Maybe Poison the Present. Poison the.

[Langston Kerman]

Poison the president.

[Podcast Host]

Turns out. That's actually a good answer. Yeah, we. We don't know because we'd never watch this piece of movie, honestly, looking at.

[Langston Kerman]

You sideways if you did, unless you watch it with your grandma or someone like that. Because, you know, be respectful.

[Podcast Host]

We have no idea. So, yeah, just, like, drop a little something in this morning. No, that's Ghost Dog to me. I don't know exactly.

[Langston Kerman]

That's all he ever will be. That's the last king of Scotland.

[Podcast Host]

Come on. That ain't no butler. Don't look like. No, That's a Crying Game Panic Room. They gave him braids for some reason.

[Langston Kerman]

Wasn't he in radio?

[Podcast Host]

No, I don't think so. Cuba.

[Langston Kerman]

No, not as. Not as Radio.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, maybe he was in there. I never watch radio either.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, man. We gotta. Yeah. Get that on the plane.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, maybe we gotta watch Radio. Fuck. Is there another answer to this one? I don't think so.

[Langston Kerman]

There is, maybe.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. No. Oh, this is What I wanted to show you is that this. Look.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, there is another answer.

[Podcast Host]

No, look. Look at the cast of the Butler. Look how many fucking famous people they got to participate. David Banner.

[Langston Kerman]

That's crazy.

[Podcast Host]

It's John Q. That's what's crazy. It goes John Cusack, David Oyelowo, Oprah Winfrey, Cuba Gooden, James Marsden, Yaya Dacosta, and then David Banner.

[Langston Kerman]

That's the craziest one. David, David, David.

[Podcast Host]

That's. That's where it gets crazier, is that somehow Martin Luther King is in it.

[Langston Kerman]

And artist Fox Clyde is night. That is crazy, dog.

[Podcast Host]

Lenny Kravitz, Lev Schreiber, Mariah Carey.

[Langston Kerman]

I thought there would be at least one Smollett in here.

[Podcast Host]

Wow.

[Langston Kerman]

That's for you black people.

[Podcast Host]

Robin Williams. My hero. Terrence Howard. Yeah, he's got everybody.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, he did a good job.

[Podcast Host]

So we'll never be free because we'll.

[Langston Kerman]

All sign up for this fore forever, man.

[Podcast Host]

I think that was the end of the game. I'm pretty sure. No, we have one more Jussie Smollett. Who wants to do Jesse? I should have known there was no X. Who wants to play Jesse? Jesse seems easier. He seems like you could save him fast. No, everybody's scared of Jesse. Okay, well, we'll just.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, yeah, we can do it, you cowards. You're wrong.

[Podcast Host]

The answer was write a one man.

[Langston Kerman]

Musical called the Gay Tupac and donate the proceeds to some LGBTQIA plus causes. We don't know what they are because we not gay, but we know they have some.

[Podcast Host]

We know they're out there, man.

[Langston Kerman]

That Gay Tupac thing was the funniest thing. That was crazy that ever. Do you guys know that he yelled it?

[Podcast Host]

He yelled it. I'm the gay Tupac. He yelled that.

[Langston Kerman]

No bars.

[Podcast Host]

Why? Because he. He pretended to be robbed and nobody believed him. Oh, yeah, yeah, it was.

[Langston Kerman]

It was a. It was a tough day.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, it was a tough day. The other answer we would have taken is make him a star on. Make him a star on perpetual seasons of 90 Day Fiance until every member of them buff Nigerian brothers family get a visa. Yeah, that's pretty nice.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, they're above as hell.

[Podcast Host]

They're buff.

[Langston Kerman]

Gotta be 100 more of them back there.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Just doing push ups, waiting to get to America for opportunities. Which we have. Sure, we've got a lot of them. All right, that's the end of that game. That's the whole thing.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's a good one.

[Coca Cola Advertiser]

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[Cindy Crawford]

Hey comedy fans. The funniest comedians in the world are on tour and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh with the biggest names in comedy like Atsuko Okatsuka, Brian Regan, Chelsea Handler, Corey Holcomb, Dane Cook, Sarah Milliken, Matt Matthews, Nick Swartzen, Sebastian Maniscalco, and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today.

[Savannah Guthrie]

That's livenation.comcomedy attention parents and grandparents. Are you searching for the perfect gift for your kids this holiday season? Give the gift of adventure that will last all year long. A Guardian Bike the easiest, safest and quickest bikes for kids to learn on. Kids are learning to ride in just one day. No training whee needed. What makes Guardian Bikes special? They're the easiest to ride thanks to the thoughtful engineering, lightweight frames and kid friendly components. Kids love how fun and easy they are to ride and parents appreciate the safety features like the patented braking system that prevents head over handlebar accidents. Guardian Bikes are the only kids bikes designed and assembled in a USA factory, ensuring top notch quality and durability. They're built to last and make perfect hand me downs. Make holiday gifting stress free with Guardian Bikes with guaranteed guaranteed one to two day shipping for just $29. You can trust your gift will arrive in time to create magical memories this holiday season. Plus Sign up for their newsletter to receive a free bike lock and pop with your first purchase. The perfect stocking stuffer for any kid on your list. Visit guardianbikes.com to secure the ultimate holiday gift today. Happy writing.

[Live Nation Advertiser]

Hi, I'm Cindy Crawford and I'm the founder of meaningful beauty. When Dr. Sabah and I decided to do a skincare line together, he said to me, we are going to give women meaningful beauty. And I said, that's exactly right. We want to give women meaningful beauty. Which means each and every product is meaningful. It has a reason to exist. It's efficacious. You're going to get results and then you just go out and live your life. Meaningful Beauty confidence is beautiful. Learn more@meaningful beauty.com.

[Podcast Host]

We have one more game and it is back open to white people and we're gonna need y'all to really step it up with participation. We can't end this bad boy with you guys not wanting to try. Right at the. Right at the table.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. This is a final push.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Here we go. Everybody come together for our favorite game on the tour. It's a game called Quid Pro Quo. Ho.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on. You did that one. No, really? That's a stock image.

[Podcast Host]

I found that.

[Langston Kerman]

That's crazy.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

There's a lot of levels to that.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. You're not a. You're not an anime guy.

[Langston Kerman]

No. But are you.

[Podcast Host]

Are you familiar with the fact that this character Frieza is famously, purposely. No. Famously racist.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, no, no, no, no.

[Podcast Host]

He. So there are. There are these aliens in the show called Saiyans. That's what go.

[Langston Kerman]

Right? That's what Goku and his brother only.

[Podcast Host]

Refers to them as monkeys. They come from a planet of monkeys.

[Langston Kerman]

Everybody is, don't they turn into monkeys?

[Podcast Host]

But he said.

[Langston Kerman]

Which didn't feel great.

[Podcast Host]

He says it in a way where he's like, you'll always be monkeys.

[Langston Kerman]

Right?

[Podcast Host]

Even when you've turned back your fucking animals. To me, he's just. His whole thing is genocide. And specifically, he hates those monkeys because they're the only ones that can beat him up.

[Langston Kerman]

Right. Because they're so strong.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Monkey strong, I would say. Okay, the way this game works, we're going to introduce to you a beautiful possibility for the world. Something you might love to see happen in the world. But with each of those possibilities comes a nasty condition that you may be too much of a cost.

[Langston Kerman]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. So your job is to decide if that condition is worth the squeeze.

[Langston Kerman]

It's really trying to see how much of a hero you really are.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's the essence.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Really challenging your spirit. Okay, here we go. We need a volunteer for the first one. Okay. Yeah, right here. Hell yeah. Thanks, dog. Tell us your name.

[Langston Kerman]

My name is Eloquence.

[Podcast Host]

Elo. Hell yeah. All right. Elo, Your condition is or your possibility.

[Langston Kerman]

We completely liberate black men from our deep rooted social and cultural fears around homosexuality. But you find out that once a week, your daddy plays naked basketball with Jamie Foxx. God damn. Is that Carl Anthony Towns?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, that is Kat. For the those that are wondering, he did this for that Sports Illustrated nude shoot.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, the body issue.

[Podcast Host]

The body issue. But he shouldn't have done that, you know?

[Langston Kerman]

You know, it feels like a. A shock to the system to learn something about this, like your father, you know, But I feel like with the reconciliation of our homophobia, we would be able to live with it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I don't even like my dad. Easy.

[Podcast Host]

You wouldn't have any problem with this.

[Langston Kerman]

What is it different than I know that he does now? I don't give a. Right now you're closer to your dad. How would you feel about this?

[Podcast Host]

I'd be. I. I'd be disappointed that it took this long for me to know that for.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that he slept on. He's. He didn't. He didn't let you know. That is crazy. I'd feel like, dad, how'd you do what you do today? And he wasn't like, oh, man, Jamie Foxx crossed me up naked.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Like, you know what I believe in, you know what I am.

[Langston Kerman]

And he knows how much you love Jamie Foxx.

[Podcast Host]

Come on, man.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that would be crazy.

[Podcast Host]

I'm not even going to talk about that special.

[Langston Kerman]

Me either.

[Podcast Host]

I'm a big fan. I. I'd be disappointed in my dad for. For keeping that from me. But ultimately, I do think I'm with you. I think us freeing ourselves from the fucking deep rooted homophobia that lives in our community would be so big for us.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. We could all take pictures like that.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Imagine if we got to see Cat like this and we just went, that's beautiful.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, we're just like, oh, he's funny. Cool guy.

[Podcast Host]

What a guy. What a God like, physique.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

But that's not how I feel.

[Langston Kerman]

No.

[Podcast Host]

You know what I mean? In the back of my mind, my first. First thought isn't that. And that's some deep rooted shit that.

[Langston Kerman]

I. Yeah, that's a problem. But, like, it's a smirk, too.

[Podcast Host]

We got better, y'all.

[Langston Kerman]

You did a good job. Yeah, that was a good one.

[Podcast Host]

Thanks, Elo. Oh, thank God. The lady in the Christmas sweater. Thank goodness. Okay, Izzy. Izzy, thank you for being here, Izzy. Here we go.

[Langston Kerman]

Tesla is fully taken away from Elon Musk after the Trump administration accidentally passes reparations.

[Podcast Host]

But pretty good. But Soulja Boy makes a knockoff version of cybertrucks that kill a lot of people. A lot of people, like a fuck ton of people are dying.

[Langston Kerman]

Cause if you squint your eyes, it does look as good as the real thing. Yeah, we got cyber truck at home.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. So we get reparations, but we also get cyber attacks that kill a lot of people. That's right. And I wouldn't call this a cyber truck.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, I go. But they're also people who were willing to buy a cyber truck. From Soulja Boy.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Thumbs up all the way. You're with this.

[Savannah Guthrie]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. Just remember that it's not. The cyber truck isn't just killing the driver. Yeah. The cyber trucks mowing through roads because.

[Langston Kerman]

It'S like a death trap.

[Podcast Host]

Still, just the same amount that are on the road now. Okay. Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, that's a good caveat.

[Podcast Host]

Like, I didn't make that caveat, but I like that you inserted it for yourself. You're like, no, this is the way it is. And I don't mind that you're. You made a bold choice, and I respect your choice. Yes. Same amount of cybertruck trucks. They grow every day. I see more of them every day, and it makes me real nervous.

[Langston Kerman]

I was just in Austin. They're going crazy.

[Podcast Host]

Crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

They got wraps. They're wrapping them.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Because that's what you want to see. A lime green piece of.

[Podcast Host]

You know what's nasty?

[Langston Kerman]

It's like a computer mouse. I hate it. Like, aesthetically, it's like he's mocking us.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. You like the Soulja Boy?

[Langston Kerman]

He's not working. It's killing people. He's working in typical soldier boy fashion.

[Podcast Host]

And you gotta know he's going to jail for this. He's not staying free. He's got. He's killed millions.

[Langston Kerman]

Is millions the number we're putting on?

[Podcast Host]

No, no, But.

[Langston Kerman]

But it's.

[Podcast Host]

It's an. It's a scary amount.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. It's too. It's more. More. More than any. Too many.

[Podcast Host]

You remember when Covid was. Was small enough where we were, like, tracking the numbers?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. And we thought we couldn't get for that week?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. It's, like, ticking up like that. We were like, hey, it started at 12, and now it's at 50,000. I don't like that.

[Langston Kerman]

Right.

[David Bore]

Is it more than what the car company would consider neglig? Like, too negligible to do a recall, Ma'am.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I think you have to understand. He is the car company. It's just Soulja Boy. Tell him.

[Podcast Host]

What company. His best friend's name. And I'm not saying this to be bigoted. Was Arab. He shouted him out on every song.

[Langston Kerman]

Made a lot of songs about him.

[Podcast Host]

You're playing this game wrong.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. You can't.

[Podcast Host]

That's not how it works. This isn't a learned decision.

[Langston Kerman]

No. This is from the heart.

[Podcast Host]

This is a gut check and an apology afterwards. You're taking it. You're worth it. It's worth it to you. What are you doing?

[Langston Kerman]

I just don't trust his technology like that. I can't do it.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. So there is reparations. And Elon Musk specifically loses all of Tesla. What kind of reparations? Again, Again, you guys, I think are digging further than.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I think you're not focusing on the right parts of this.

[Podcast Host]

Now, are we talking a straight 40 acres in a mule, or are we converting that to 2044? Because I think that's gonna make a big difference for me, a man from Oregon. I. I think.

[Langston Kerman]

What are you doing?

[Podcast Host]

Personally, I. I don't know that this is worth it. I think. I know. I know. It sucks. I do. Elon is. Is fucking vile. He's the worst. But I don't know that. That by taking down one billionaire, almost trillionaire, we fix the system. Right. I think that is truly just aiming at our enemies, aiming at our preferences and shit. And the truth is there are a number of other billionaires that will happily take his spot as soon as capitalism steps aside and lets them jump. So now it's not worth it for a bunch of dead people.

[Langston Kerman]

No.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Another bleak one.

[Podcast Host]

Hey, hey. And there won't be any more deep stuff tonight. That's about all you get out of me. All right, we need another volunteer. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, you already got it. Fuck yeah. That's dope. You're on your game, my man. Hey, you'll get your freedom soon enough.

[Langston Kerman]

Reparations for you.

[Podcast Host]

Somebody's sleeping in the big house tonight.

[Langston Kerman]

We should have got a white slave from the first show.

[Podcast Host]

I see what y'all like.

[Langston Kerman]

It was cool. It's intoxicating.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, like they're not bad guys. Make a statue.

[Langston Kerman]

We're kind of like friends.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, here we go.

[Langston Kerman]

White people fully strand themselves on Mars, leaving black and brown people to completely reimagine human existence on this planet. But. But your girl admits that the best sex she's ever had was with Neil DeGrasse Tyson.

[Podcast Host]

Do it. Take him to Mars. You said do it. Yeah, take him. Okay. I love the guy too. You love me about Neil DeGrasse Tyson. I love the guy's Tyson. Oh, you must not know everything about Neil degrasse Tyson. Oh, man, I'm sorry to break it to you this way so publicly. He's a whole sex pest, man.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, man.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. That's why he's not on TV anymore, is. Cause he's like a real, real problem for a lot of women.

[Langston Kerman]

And your girl's on board.

[Podcast Host]

Really? And he. He banged your girl out. Okay, okay, okay, listen. He got in them guts, but he says it like. He says it.

[Langston Kerman]

You're gonna have to see. I got in all the guts.

[Podcast Host]

Will it be like that I inserted in her innards? Would it be like the Achille and Peel show when he comes back with you with his saying things like, in the universe? Yeah. No, same guy. No, just take him. You still take it. Yes. This is worth it. Yeah. It will be interesting to see what happens. Whoa. Yeah, I mean, I'll take it.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

But can I do something? What will you do? Oh, no, I.

[Langston Kerman]

Good call.

[Podcast Host]

My God.

[Live Nation Advertiser]

I wouldn't want to be there for that conversation, but I'd do it for. For the very cause.

[Podcast Host]

There you go. We believe in consent in this place.

[Langston Kerman]

Here's my issue with this.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Langston Kerman]

Here's my issue with this. Is this, like, as this works, this is the bad real estate. Mars is the good real estate. Right.

[Podcast Host]

I don't know. And I. I want to say this, but I know for a long time that was the. The active theory, right. Is that white people, specifically the rich, are. Are building these, in theory, estates on other planets to be able to escape and leave us with dwindling resources.

[Langston Kerman]

Right, right, right.

[Podcast Host]

That the planet is dying in a way that we are never going to be able to rehabilitate and they're going to escape to other places. Here's the problem with that theory, is that currently, and I learned this not too long ago, currently, people can't even be in space for that long without, like, major, major issues happening to their bodies.

[Langston Kerman]

So it's a death sentence.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Like, truly, like, bone density goes away.

[Langston Kerman]

This is a crazy question. You're definitely, like.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, you're definitely convincing me. You're, like, giving me more. No, listen, I get. Come on, man. Let me be clear.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay?

[Podcast Host]

Let me be clear. I get why it's good for me.

[Langston Kerman]

I mean, it's good for me, but.

[Podcast Host]

For the white people that are like, do it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. That's crazy.

[Podcast Host]

You got to learn to love yourself. I like that you like what we're doing, but don't be that. That way. Don't send yourself to Mars to crumble.

[Langston Kerman]

Also, it doesn't feel like. I don't know, they just get to blast out to space. I want there to be a reckoning, Stand cry, stand trial for your crimes.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Are you saying they're gonna be up there with chalky Bones being like, we really did it, y'all. We really did it. Fuck the billionaires. Oh, the bunker. Oh, I. I thought it implied that they leave, too.

[Langston Kerman]

They're all leaving.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. It wasn't like, oh, if you got a bunker, you get to stay.

[Langston Kerman]

He tricked me.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. The Clintons gotta go, too. All right. I personally. It seems worth it to me. I would divorce my wife.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, that's an option.

[Podcast Host]

I wouldn't. I can't stay with her.

[Langston Kerman]

I mean, she's not gonna keep talking it to. How often is your wife talking to you about the best sex she's ever had?

[Podcast Host]

It hasn't come up yet.

[Langston Kerman]

Thank. Come on, baby.

[Podcast Host]

Wouldn't mind hearing it. Wouldn't bum me out. Yeah, that's all right. Good fathers.

[Langston Kerman]

You're a good man. Yeah. You're a good man.

[Podcast Host]

Good dad.

[Langston Kerman]

Good. So, I mean.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, we need another volunteer. Okay. Hell, yeah. Thank you. All right. How are we going to do this? All right, he's coming, he's coming.

[Langston Kerman]

Let's go.

[Podcast Host]

So are you enjoying the show?

[Langston Kerman]

You're having a good time?

[Podcast Host]

Okay, thank God. All right, all right, all right. Your. Your scenario. Here we go. We finally untether black people from the insurmountable tyranny of Christianity. It's swallowing. Yeah, attaboy.

[Langston Kerman]

Hell, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

You guys know who that is? If you know, shout it out. There we go. Have you ever been swallowed? You don't have your soundboards?

[Langston Kerman]

Swallowed?

[Podcast Host]

One, two, three people.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on.

[Podcast Host]

Knew who? Dee Dee Jakes is one of the most famous. I would say, televangelist. Yeah, televangelist is a polite word, but we finally untether black people from the insurmountable tyranny of Christianity. But.

[Langston Kerman]

In lieu of prayers, every night, you have to stand in front of a mirror and say Candyman five times.

[Podcast Host]

No more praying. Gotta say Candyman. And that does include white people. Everybody's gotta say Candyman. Is that my fate? The picture there.

[Langston Kerman]

It's up to you to roll the dice.

[Podcast Host]

That is. I will say, that is what happens if Candyman shows up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, do you believe in Candyman more.

[Langston Kerman]

Or less than you believe in Christianity?

[Podcast Host]

Way more. Way more than Christianity. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Same.

[Podcast Host]

So it is scarier.

[Langston Kerman]

That's the difficult part about this.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, but imagine what. What, what the reduction of Christianity in the American culture would do. It would. It would hugely impact us in a really, I would argue, healthy way.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I think it's. It's a huge positive.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. I think we gotta. We gotta let Jesus go. Whoa.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah. I'm with my man. With my man.

[Podcast Host]

That's a good. Gotta get him out of there. And to test it, we have a mirror up here. We're Gonna ask you. No.

[Langston Kerman]

Have you ever said Candyman? Five times.

[Podcast Host]

I have.

[Langston Kerman]

How'd it go?

[Podcast Host]

Scared the out of me.

[Langston Kerman]

Were you alone? It was like a dare.

[Podcast Host]

I was in my friend Gabe's basement. It was me, Gabe, my friend Michael. I think our friend Cal. Gabe, a different Gabe was there. We. We were all hanging out.

[Langston Kerman]

Why are you telling, bro?

[Podcast Host]

I just wanted to set the scene. You know, It's a party when Cal's there. How old were we? We were probably. If we were all hanging out, third or fourth grade, right? Yeah, we were.

[Langston Kerman]

That's the scary. That's the bravest age you could have done it at.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, it was somewhere between third and sixth grade, I would say. And we all went in his basement bathroom and said Candyman individually. And then we would take turns holding the door shut.

[Langston Kerman]

Kids are so funny.

[Podcast Host]

But we didn't do it every time. So you didn't know if you were going to be, like, trapped or not. And that made it scarier. You know what I mean? It was real vile.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And that's how you become a man, as far as I can tell. That's.

[Langston Kerman]

Look at you now. Good father.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Can I. Can I ask a question real quick? Yeah. Do they go to another organized religion or are they just, like, free from religion?

[Langston Kerman]

I think they're free from religion.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. I think this is more about independence than it is hopping to the next good thing. Oh, that was you. All right. No cool ringtone. Awesome vibe.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Jesus. Definitely out of there. But then.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, all right, I'm with it. Same thing.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. I'll say Candyman.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that shit's doing.

[Podcast Host]

I've done it once. I survived. Please don't hold the door shut. You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

I make no promises.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, audience, what are you saying? What do you. What would you guys do? Candyman.

[Langston Kerman]

Candy.

[Podcast Host]

Everybody's saying Candyman. Yeah. Christianity sucks.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. It's really up.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. All right. We need. We need another volunteer. Okay. Hell, yeah. Right there. Thank you, Michael. No, that's not our head, is it?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's all right.

[Podcast Host]

No, that's a different hat. Told you.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, damn.

[Podcast Host]

That's not one of your.

[Langston Kerman]

I'll buy one at the merch table. I'll switch it up. Wishful thinking.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. What's your name? Michael. Michael. Fuck traditional. Okay, Michael, here you go.

[Langston Kerman]

We finally destigmatized sex work, and as a result, we see a dramatic drop in violent crimes across the world.

[Podcast Host]

But I picked Usher. I'm not, like, seeing Usher. I don't like seeing Usher.

[Langston Kerman]

Right now.

[Podcast Host]

Ain't Usher a hoe? Like just on paper?

[Langston Kerman]

Usher just on some ho shit.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, he's a cool ass hoe.

[Langston Kerman]

He's the best hoe. I stopped tier Hoenn.

[Podcast Host]

There's all these videos now of Usher at his recent concert. Just walking around the arena with cherries.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Giving them cherries to lick on jack.

[Podcast Host]

Making women lick them like balls.

[Langston Kerman]

Bro, my girl's here. What are you doing?

[Podcast Host]

You can't do that.

[Langston Kerman]

And they're licking the.

[Podcast Host]

Out of them people's mothers and grandmothers.

[Langston Kerman]

That's what they signed up for.

[Podcast Host]

Have y'all seen the video? This is my favorite one. There's a video of the security guard, see, watching it happen.

[Langston Kerman]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

And he's disgusted. He literally can't even contain himself. He's wincing at. At the sight.

[Langston Kerman]

He's hating.

[Podcast Host]

He can't. He's holding back vomit in his mouth at the sight of what Usher's doing. And then they cut down the Usher. And Usher's horny as hell. That nigga is Rocky. Every other man in the arena is like, this is vile. And Usher's just like, that's.

[Langston Kerman]

That's how deep he's gone. That's what it takes to get him there.

[Podcast Host]

Gotta get him.

[Langston Kerman]

I gotta see you guys see a woman lick produce in front of 20,000 other people to get off. That's.

[Podcast Host]

He's.

[Langston Kerman]

He's a prisoner, really.

[Podcast Host]

That's. That's why I'll say this. That's why I don't like when people call Usher gay. I don't think Usher's gay at all. I think he's fucked men for sure. But I don't think that it has ever been on some, like, oh, this, this is my preference or this is who I am. It's truly for sport.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, I think it's. Anything that comes across this place, it's just. I.

[Podcast Host]

Penetration. I'll do it. I don't give a.

[Langston Kerman]

And honestly, that's kind of beautiful.

[Podcast Host]

It's beautiful. It's beautiful. Like this suit, that's a finely made money suit.

[Langston Kerman]

It's tailored.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Okay. We.

[Langston Kerman]

We crazy to have ones in there.

[Podcast Host]

We did.

[Langston Kerman]

But you're Usher. We know you got it.

[Podcast Host]

No, that's. That's because he's for the people, okay? He's like anybody.

[Langston Kerman]

He wanted his suit made of money to be relatable to the common man.

[Podcast Host]

He's like, I'm a man of the money people. Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

Is that a tough? Oh, it is.

[Podcast Host]

Usher bucks for sure.

[Langston Kerman]

He made one hundreds and ones in his own money.

[Podcast Host]

Again, he wanted everybody to participate.

[Langston Kerman]

Right, Right. How bad would you feel if you got a Usher buck one instead of. It's not even real money. You gave me a one.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. We did stigmatize the sex work, but you have to let Lizzo sexually harass you whenever she wants, the way that she likes, not the way that you like. Allegedly.

[Langston Kerman]

Ooh.

[Podcast Host]

I would like to say first off the. That my wife saw Usher in Las Vegas without.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, and you guys leave sitting right.

[Podcast Host]

Next to me right now.

[Langston Kerman]

She's allergic to cherries though, right?

[Podcast Host]

With all her girls too. She went, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, it's smaller than regular bills.

[Podcast Host]

I've been as well. I lick the cherries. And yeah, it's. It's small currency, but it is plentiful. Like, I don't even get to have like a full night's sleep. This is like whenever she wants. 3am, 4am I'm not. I'm waking up tired cuz Lizzo's. Yeah. I don't think Lizzo respects traditional hours.

[Langston Kerman]

No, she's on Lizzo time.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Lt.

[Podcast Host]

I like that. There's et, ct, mt, pt, and lt. And you want to stay away from lt. I'll take one for the team. You're gonna take the lt?

[Langston Kerman]

I'll take.

[Podcast Host]

I'll take one for the team. Whoa. I like that. Yeah, I. I would too. I think I could get used to what Lizzo got going on.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think. I don't think he would go so crazy that I couldn't handle it for the betterment. Does everybody in the world know that's why she's doing that to me? Or are they, like, it's his fault he was wearing those shorts? Like, is everybody against me?

[Podcast Host]

That's a great question. Yeah, I think everybody thinks you're a whore. I don't think you get to be a hero in this. But.

[Langston Kerman]

But she has to come to my house. Does that make sense? Like, I'm not going out of my way to go get.

[Podcast Host]

I'll give you that. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Listen, she has to come to my.

[Podcast Host]

Lizzo shows up, she rings the bell. But you don't get to be like, I. Not tonight, Lizzo.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm like, oh, we were going to the Dutch strip club or whatever.

[Podcast Host]

You gotta go. If she comes, she bringing a flute. That's right. That's right. She bringing a flute.

[Langston Kerman]

That would be fun.

[Podcast Host]

I like that. You read the actual documents. Yeah, she brought the flute.

[Langston Kerman]

I. I think I could do it. I think I could get. I Think I could get around that? I think I could answer.

[Podcast Host]

I take this. I take this. L. For sure.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. That's a tough. That's a tough one, though.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

All right. All right. That was good.

[Podcast Host]

That was it. That's the whole game.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

We like to. We like to end all of our shows and. And this show is no exception. We'd like to open the floor for anybody who might have questions. Concerns. Critique of the. We don't want your critique. But.

[Langston Kerman]

No.

[Podcast Host]

But if you have any questions, if there's been any lingering conspiracies for you, raise your hand. And if not, we'll get the. Out of here and we'll. We'll be out in the front to shake hands and high five.

[Langston Kerman]

Kiss babies.

[Podcast Host]

All kiss babies if you got them.

[Langston Kerman]

Kiss them if you got one over here.

[Podcast Host]

Michael. No.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, one more.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, that's it.

[Langston Kerman]

That was an aggressive hand.

[Podcast Host]

Thanks. God, I apologize.

[Langston Kerman]

No, it's good. It's cool, man.

[Podcast Host]

Big fan. Listen twice a week, you know, Big fan of the. The sound bites as well. I wanted to ask, what are each of your favorite sound drops? Bites. Oh, I know there's a. A big selection.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, man. Favorite. Oh, I mean, Michael Jackson. Doo Doo Feces.

[Podcast Host]

There's a pretty huge. For me, there's a pretty vast archive that we don't often get to use because of this new program.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Yeah. We're like. We have other ones that were sitting on.

[Podcast Host]

But I used. We used to have R. Kelly singing. Do you have your passport?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. That's good.

[Podcast Host]

Did you get your shots?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Do you want to come back with Rob to America?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. That's good.

[Podcast Host]

America, which to me is a reason to free him.

[Langston Kerman]

It's a vast body of work.

[Podcast Host]

I. It's real hard to lock that up. It feels like we're missing a lot of potential out in the. The world to lock that man in jail. But I understand what he did is wrong.

[Langston Kerman]

That's how we're going to end the whole tour. That's.

[Podcast Host]

That's perfect. Hey, thank y'all for coming out.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, thank you so much.

[Podcast Host]

That's so cool. What a great way to end. Listen, if you want to take pictures, if you want to just say hi, we'll be out in the front. We'll shake hands and all that shit. And there's merch for sale if you're into that. And if not, I don't know. Bye, Bitch. My Mama Told Me is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network, and I Hardly Art podcast created and hosted by Langston Kern co hosted by.

[Langston Kerman]

David Bore executive produced by Will Ferrell Hansani and Olivia Aguilar co produced by Bay Wayne Edited and engineered by Justin Khan Music by Nick Chambers Artwork by Dogon Krieger.

[Podcast Host]

You can now watch episodes of My Mama told me on YouTube. Follow at my Mama Told Me and subscribe to our channel Channel.

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