Steppin' on Cracks and Breakin' Backs (with Jazmyn W)

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Steppin' on Cracks and Breakin' Backs (with Jazmyn W)"

Podcast: My Momma Told Me
Hosts: Langston Kerman and David Gborie
Guest: Jazmyn W
Original Release Date: September 30, 2025
Episode Theme: Childhood superstitions and Black cultural conspiracies, focusing on the lore behind "Step on a crack, break your mama's back," and broader discussions on generational wisdom, cultural myths, and their surprising (often problematic) roots.

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Main Theme Overview

This episode explores the enduring playground superstition: "Step on a crack, break your mama's back." Langston, David, and comedian Jazmyn W unpack its origins, their childhood experiences with the rhyme, and the ways such sayings encode deeper social and cultural lessons—or, as it turns out, some pretty dark histories.

From there, the conversation covers the adaptability of Millennial culture, parenting superstitions, racism’s pervasive presence in popular American nursery rhymes, and a grab bag of wild voicemails—ranging from goat-based folklore to cross-cultural sex myths.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Digging into "Step on a Crack, Break Your Mama's Back" (10:35–16:00)

• Nostalgic Memories: Each host and guest recalls how seriously they took the superstition as kids, describing tiptoeing around sidewalk cracks with a strange blend of fear and glee.
  • David: "I was walking mad blocks as I was outside..." [11:39]
  • Langston: "You have to be willing to risk it all." [12:21]
• Superstition as Social Control: The crew jokes about the utility of such rhymes as a form of parental control—suggesting maybe the rhyme was just a crafty way to slow down children.
  • David: "It's all about trapping children.” [14:32]

2. Millennial Knowledge, Adaptation, and Generational Shifts (6:43–16:23)

• The Millennial Brain: The hosts debate whether Millennials are the smartest or most adaptable generation, noting the unique position of living through the transition from “the old world” to the digital era.
  • Langston: "We are the smartest generation that doesn't feel like everybody thinks that, though." [7:04]
  • Jazmyn: "We are the most adaptable. There's no generation before us or after us that will be able to adapt the way that we have." [8:00]
• Information Overload and Rejection: They muse on the double-edged sword of information access and whether future generations will reject our tech-obsessed ways after a crisis.
  • Langston: "The world is going to devolve in a way where information is not going to hold value anymore." [15:52]
  • David: "It’ll cycle through … like everything else." [16:02]

3. Who’s Smart, Who’s "Wordy," and the Politics of Appearances (20:24–24:46)

• Playing Smart and the Confidence Game: The trio gets philosophical (and silly) about performative intelligence, referencing "word guys" like T.I. and rappers who stack vocab, but maybe not substance.
  • Langston: "It is a great time to be, at the very least, pseudo smart." [20:55]
  • David: "Dumb. Guys are up." [21:00]

4. Height, Dating, and “Liar Math” for Men (34:47–38:45)

• The Six Foot Myth: Jazmyn shares her (half-joking) “six-foot era” while the guys riff on how men fudge their height in dating profiles and the cultural obsession with six feet.
  • Jazmyn: "He said 5'10, I said ooh, baby, I’m in my six foot era." [35:36]

5. The (Shocking) Racist Roots of Nursery Rhymes (43:06–60:37)

• Deeper Dives: Langston researches and reveals the less-known, ugly origins of various childhood rhymes—“step on a crack,” "eenie meenie miny moe," and even the ice cream truck jingle.
  • Langston: "If you step on a crack, you’ll marry a Black person." [44:47]
  • David: "That explains a little bit more. I’m like, oh, this is a white people nursery." [45:01]
• Broader Pattern: Many nursery rhymes, they find, originated as racist dog whistles or outright slurs. Shock and laughter blend as they reckon with these realities.
  • Jazmyn: "It’s like a new world... maybe those people no longer have power over what is intellectual anymore. And that is a little bit exciting, isn’t it?" [19:54]
  • All react in real time to learning that “Eeny, meeny, miny, moe” originally used the N-word and the “ice cream truck” tune comes from a minstrel-era song.

6. Voicemail Chaos: Goat Spit Folklore and Cross-Cultural Sex Myths (66:41–77:39)

• Wild Listener Voicemails: The hosts tackle a listener’s claim from the Dominican Republic: that goat spit (or…other interactions with goats) can enlarge a penis. Cue widespread revulsion and skepticism.
  • Langston: "Goats are everywhere. This isn’t vibranium." [71:46]
  • David: "If there was anything that worked, we all would have figured it out by now, right?" [71:42]
• Coco Morzan: Same caller asks about the Haitian term “Coco Morzan” — a sexual practice. The group connects this to Kegel exercises and riffs on generational sexual prowess.
  • Langston: "Millennials are the smartest generation. I do not think we're the best at fucking." [76:49]
  • Jazmyn: "We can’t be that good at [sex] if you're not willing to talk about it and share information." [78:17]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Decision Fatigue and Stepping on Cracks

• Langston: "You really have to walk weird to be able to achieve the 'Don't step on the crack.'" [12:45]

On Words, Intelligence, and Performing "Smart"

• David: "You just have to know how to ... fake smart a little bit." [21:03]
• Langston: "It does feel like fun to just, like … be a word guy." [22:08]

On The Ice Cream Truck Song's Origin

• Langston: "The song was written by an actor named Harry C. Brown...and was called 'Nigger Love a Watermelon, Ha Ha Ha.' And that became so popular that it is now our Ice Cream Truck song." [59:36–60:31]

On Black Entrepreneurship and Stereotypes

• Jazmyn: "I'm always so excited to order watermelon ... because it is a story of black entrepreneurship and white people's attempt to make us feel bad about creating a job for ourselves..." [60:40]

On Racist Roots of Nursery Rhymes

• Langston: "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe … The tiger is nigger." [56:27]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------------|------------------------------------------------------------| | 10:35–16:00 | Main discussion: "Step on a Crack" origins & social meaning | | 20:24–24:46 | The “word guy” thing & performative intelligence | | 34:47–38:45 | Dating, height, and the “six foot era” | | 43:06–46:18 | Research: nursery rhyme racist histories revealed | | 56:27–60:31 | “Eeny, meeny, miny, moe” and the Ice Cream Truck song | | 66:41–77:39 | Voicemails: goat spit, Haitian sex myths & generational sex | | 78:17–79:56 | Are Millennials really the best at sex? |

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Tone & Style

The episode is irreverent, open-hearted, quick-witted, and deeply conversational. The hosts and Jazmyn combine personal stories, joking banter, and genuine surprise/disbelief when unpacking darker historical facts. Big laughs alternate with sharp, honest reactions to troubling or absurd revelations.

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Final Thoughts & Where to Find More

The group concludes with recommendations to check out Jazmyn’s comedy work (especially "Jazz After Dark" on Patreon for open conversations about sex and intimacy), Langston’s tour (“The Aspiring Deadbeat Tour”), and David’s stand-up special. They invite listeners to send in more voicemails, especially on generational sex prowess (or wild folklore/conspiracy theories of their own).

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For those who haven’t listened:
This episode is a masterclass in blending punchy comedy with sharp cultural analysis, rooting out the weird, wide, and sometimes dark heritage of Black American childhood—and what it means to carry or reject those “conspiracies” into adulthood.

Transcript

[Jasmine W.]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[David]

Goodbye.

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[Health Discovered Host]

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[Prostate Cancer Patient]

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[Jasmine W.]

You know, I've never dated anybody like that or even like been around a guy who was shorter that had that sort of mentality. But I did a show in New York this past weekend and there was a guy like in the front and he was as soon as I said I came out talking about short men and as soon as I, he like was not happy and he was heckling me a little bit and his girlfriend was like, but he's 5 8. I was like, girl, no he not.

[David]

No he's not.

[Jasmine W.]

No he's not. He's five six.

[David]

That's a liar size.

[Langston Kerman]

And you knew it's a liar when you yelled it Right.

[Jasmine W.]

And why you yell that out anyway?

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think five eight exists.

[David]

It might not. It really might not.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think that's an actual number. I think you're. You're either five seven or five nine and one of those. You're spinning.

[David]

It's like how a lot of structures don't have a 13th floor. Oh, yeah, gotta build that.

[Jasmine W.]

God ain't build that floor.

[David]

Nobody's 5 7.

[Langston Kerman]

God was like, that's a dangerous height to put somebody in.

[Jasmine W.]

I'm not gonna do that. Funny.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, man, you five eight, you'll tip over. We gotta do five seven, and five nine.

[David]

The government growing babies microchips in your anus. All koala bears are racist. The ozone layer owes me money. Marshy defended turkey stuff. Y' all can't tell me nothing.

[Langston Kerman]

We were five steps from eternity. Four steps, four steps past love and three wishes. We were three wishes from touching the heavens above. There it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, little mamas and gents, welcome to another phenomenal episode of My.

[David]

Mama Told Me America's foremost Drew Hill podcast. Cause I love them boys.

[Langston Kerman]

They are just fine in my book.

[David]

Come on. Last R and B group to have a fat guy.

[Jasmine W.]

Really?

[David]

Who did it since then?

[Jasmine W.]

Nah, day 26 wasn't one of the guys. A little thing.

[David]

Day 26.

[Langston Kerman]

Fair enough.

[David]

What year is that? Day 26.

[Langston Kerman]

Day 26 is 2004.

[Jasmine W.]

Okay. That's like four or five.

[David]

Okay, I. I will.

[Langston Kerman]

That's decent.

[David]

Okay, that's.

[Langston Kerman]

I will say they redefined what thick is, though.

[David]

He's not Woody. Fat Woody in Drew Hill. He's a fat guy. They're a fat guy.

[Langston Kerman]

Who could sit there? They were truly like, no, we want a big one.

[David]

Yeah, that's different.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that is a very different thing.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Like day 26 was like, oh, he ain't. He don't take his shirt off. He keeps his shirt on. But he wearing the same outfit as us. He just keep his shirt on.

[David]

And that's not what Woody was doing or Jazz was doing.

[Langston Kerman]

Jazz was always with the longest coat.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah, right. Remember, he covered up.

[David]

They would have the different. Cause Nokio would have arms. Damn near nips out. Cisco's got the tiger showing.

[Jasmine W.]

Yes.

[Langston Kerman]

And then no. They dressed him in various colors of Morpheus.

[Jasmine W.]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

Just long black leather.

[Jasmine W.]

Long black.

[David]

Long green.

[Langston Kerman]

Green leather. It was whatever they could cover up with.

[David]

Shout out to Jazz in the trench. Man, that was a good time.

[Jasmine W.]

You know they names?

[David]

Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

I only know Cisco. I ain't Nico, actually.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

Nokio.

[David]

See, Yeah, I know that they're from Baltimore. The Drew Hill was a park in the. In their neighborhood.

[Langston Kerman]

South Africa park.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, really?

[David]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.

[Jasmine W.]

I gotta brush up on my black history.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know if we qualify this.

[Jasmine W.]

That is.

[David]

Yeah. It's just a weird. I just got really. I was really into them for some reason.

[Langston Kerman]

I think, given the state of the world, we can't afford to replace old knowledge with Drew Hill knowledge.

[David]

That's true. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Do you know what I mean? Like, and it's no shade at Drew Hill. I'm such a big fan of y'.

[David]

All. Please come do the show. Please, Anyone?

[Langston Kerman]

Bro. Any one of y' all could sit down with us.

[David]

Specifically Jazz. But also anyone.

[Langston Kerman]

And you better wear that coat. But the point is, I think we are in a state of the world where we cannot go, like, hey, where my local water supply is gets replaced with which one of them is the tallest. You know what I mean? That's dangerous.

[David]

I like that. I'm interested in that. Because. Do you think that that. Because. Are you millennial, too?

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah.

[David]

Okay. Do you think that's why, as millennials, we are having such a time. Tough time, like, coping with the world, because we gained all that knowledge only to have it not be necessary at all because you have to pay attention to politics.

[Langston Kerman]

I think that we really are the smartest generation that doesn't feel like everybody thinks that, though. I bet they do. But I think in a genuine way, I think that we were the generation that benefited the most from resources of being able to reach across the world and learn things via the Internet without the Internet being so consuming on our spirit that we didn't still want to reach out and discover and, like, research and be a part of the larger thing? I think now everything is, like, so compartmentalized that you could learn about the world, but you only learn about Drew Hill knowledge.

[David]

Right.

[Langston Kerman]

Do you know what I mean? Or whatever their version of Drew Hill knowledge is.

[David]

And for the record, I had that knowledge in the 90s. That's not me.

[Jasmine W.]

And I don't think I replaced. I just. You just have to add happy knowledge items. Those are joyous knowledge items that you add to all of the other chaotic things. And I don't know if millennials are the smartest. I feel like that's subjective, but I feel like we are the most adaptable. There's no generation before us or after us that will be able to adapt the way that we have adapted to the changes.

[David]

I agree because the transition from, like, the transition that we went through is crazier than anybody else's.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah.

[David]

We went from the old world to the new world.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

We were born in the old world. We came of age in the digital era, and now we're firmly in the new world. And we're the last ones who remember that until whatever generation rejects.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. The craziest.

[David]

Until the water wars makes them not worry about technology anymore. And then they go back to learning how to do shit.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. The craziest thing Back to the Future could imagine was a skateboard with a rocket on it. And we're like, we've seen it now.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean? Like your wildest dreams. We saw it come true and we kept rocking.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

Wait, where's the skateboard with a rocket?

[David]

Back to the future, too.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

I was talking about in real life. I was like, your homeboy got one.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think.

[David]

Oh, man. No. Shout out to Jabari Davis. But the electronic skateboards.

[Jasmine W.]

Yes. Yeah, okay.

[David]

Because those came out. And my man in Cincinnati, you trying.

[Langston Kerman]

To start some shit. I just where that at where that skateboard would arrive.

[Jasmine W.]

No, I was just genuinely. What? Where can I say that point was.

[Langston Kerman]

More about science has evolved to the state of skateboards and rockets. It's not that they're accessible for all of us. Shame on you. Our guest today, we're so happy she's here. She's hilarious. She's a person all over the goddamn Internet. If you're a fan of standup comedy, you've seen her work. She's so funny. She's on tour now. It's a mini tour. She told us.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

She said, don't take this seriously as a tour, but you can come and see. She doesn't respect those that are coming. She said that, too. She said, this ain't a real tour if they're showing up fools. But she is out on the road now being hilarious. Give it up for Jasmine W. Everybody.

[Jasmine W.]

Hold on now.

[David]

I didn't know that this was what it was.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, okay.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, my goodness.

[David]

I love that.

[Langston Kerman]

Jasmine, thank you for being here.

[David]

Thank you for doing it.

[Jasmine W.]

I'm so excited. Thank y' all for having me.

[David]

Of course.

[Jasmine W.]

Everybody take a sip.

[Langston Kerman]

We take a sip, and then we're ready. We time it out perfectly, and then we get this bad boy started. You came, Jasmine. With a conspiracy theory that I don't even know if we can technically call it a conspiracy theory as much as a lore, a mysticism in the air. That's existed throughout my entire childhood. I assume all of our childhoods. I don't know its origins. In my heart of hearts, you said, my mama told me, if you step on a crack, you'll break your mama's back, man.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah. Good one.

[David]

It is a good. Did you ever. And this is just me, maybe. Do you ever remember as a kid, putting it into practice until it got too tiring? Whoa. I was walking mad blocks as I was outside.

[Langston Kerman]

So you tried to socialize, trying to kill your mom.

[David]

I was just like. After a while, it's just like, God, it's taking me forever. I have somewhere to be. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And it's so many cracks. I'm like, I think she's strong, man.

[Jasmine W.]

Man.

[David]

She could take one crack. One crack. And then it just like. And now you're just walking.

[Langston Kerman]

After a while now you just gotta.

[David]

I remember it being like. Yeah, I really remember that.

[Jasmine W.]

That's so real, though, because it is sort of like I thought of it. Okay. This is a conspiracy. First of all, it was really tough for me to find a conspiracy because I believed in them. So I'm like, what's not real?

[Langston Kerman]

Hold on.

[Jasmine W.]

So I was like, this is a playful one. But at some point, you do forget about the game.

[David]

You have to, like.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah, you have to.

[Langston Kerman]

You have to be willing to risk it all.

[David]

Ye. Because, like, other ones, like, don't split a pole is not hard, right? No.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah.

[David]

And I still don't split a pull.

[Jasmine W.]

When you're walking with somebody.

[David]

Yeah. To this day, I don't really.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, really?

[David]

I don't really do that.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, wow.

[David]

But it's just. It's not. Cause it's not that many. You know what I'm saying? There's so many cracks.

[Jasmine W.]

Social choice.

[David]

There's so many cracks.

[Langston Kerman]

You really have to walk weird to be able to achieve the. Don't step on the crack.

[David]

That was always the difficulty for me.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Like, were you a child repeating this? Was that, like, something that you were telling people and you believed for yourself, or were you just following along with the folks that said it kind of thing?

[Jasmine W.]

No, I was the person starting it. I love a little bit, you know, of an icebreaker. You know, I love a little game, a little icebreaker, a little challenge, especially.

[Langston Kerman]

To break a little squid game just to. Just to make everybody feel loose.

[David]

Everybody put their family in peril. We're gonna have a good time.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey, you hang out with me, I might kill your mama.

[David]

It's only your mom. It's like directly related to your actions, though. Yeah, right. It's like no one else can step on their crowd. It's like.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, but it's a mind game that I'm introducing. She's Jeffrey Dahmer is essentially.

[Jasmine W.]

Hey, yeah, that was a leap, I would say.

[Langston Kerman]

No, you're introducing the sort of violence that then overtakes your peers and everyone else.

[Jasmine W.]

Well, it's really a lesson of how your actions have consequences.

[Langston Kerman]

That sounds like something Jeffrey would say.

[David]

Yeah. Don't slip up. That dick is sinister at the end, but it is like, that's how you feel after a while. You're like, I gotta risk it to get it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, no, that's very fair.

[David]

That's important. Do your kids do it or do you tell your daughter about it? No, See, isn't that interesting?

[Langston Kerman]

I've never introduced this at all to.

[Jasmine W.]

Would you.

[Langston Kerman]

Man? No, I don't know.

[David]

Cause here's. And this is just me thinking as a psychopath, you tell her that and you make her believe it. Now, she can't run off like that.

[Langston Kerman]

Right.

[David]

In a real way because she got to look at the ground. It's all about trapping children.

[Langston Kerman]

You're saying it's like an electric fence around our home. Is this fear of stepping on the.

[David]

Ground, of hurting her mother.

[Langston Kerman]

She loves who she was trying to run away from.

[David]

Okay, well, all right.

[Jasmine W.]

Kids want to. I have a three year old.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[Jasmine W.]

Kids want to prove you. They want to prove you wrong. Yeah, they're a little bit mean.

[Langston Kerman]

They are so. They are vicious, vicious people. Yeah, that's. That doesn't feel like she wouldn't do it. Yes, your kid is the same.

[Jasmine W.]

Totally would do it. Oh, let's see. Yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And then if you said like. If you said like ow and fell down, they would then turn it a game where, like, they're just stomping on cracks everywhere you go, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David]

I'm sorry.

[Langston Kerman]

Raising kings and queens.

[David]

You know what I mean? I feel like I really overstepped my boundaries.

[Langston Kerman]

According to y', all. They're going to be smarter than us, but no, I don't think so.

[Jasmine W.]

I actually think. I actually think that, information wise, they.

[David]

Of course they will be. They're taking in way more way earlier than we were when we tapped out, baby. You think it's us?

[Langston Kerman]

I think it's us.

[David]

All right. I just. I have a hard time thinking everybody didn't think that.

[Langston Kerman]

I think the world is going to devolve in a way where information is not going to hold value anymore. And I think it's just going to be about for a bit.

[David]

I think it'll cycle through. I think it's like you're not looking on it big enough.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, you think it's going to keep growing and we're going to move past like radiation and fucking start.

[David]

I'm not saying there won't be a culling.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

There won't be some type of maybe a paring down because we have so many people. But yeah, I think we get through it.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh wow.

[Jasmine W.]

Well, I don't even understand what that means where information won't matter anymore. To me, information is everything.

[David]

Yeah, agreed.

[Jasmine W.]

It's me looking around this room. It's every single thing. So how do you get to the point where that doesn't matter? I don't understand.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't mean information in terms of how you process the world. I mean information as in this just loose access to all things. I think that we created the Internet with the intention of connecting everybody and everything. Right. So that at anything that I want to learn, I could theoretically learn about through this giant resource. And I'm saying that we were in the perfect position for managing that resource in a way that actually created intellectual value. I think beyond that it's going to create like this want for specific pieces of information for survival, for function, for socializing in a new way of living. But we had to take information off of here and bring it to another person. And that person had to then know stuff to fact check it. There were agreed upon facts that existed that just will not exist anymore. And that intelligence isn't gonna hold the same value.

[David]

I think that. I understand that idea. I do think that there's a rejection of that at some point just like everything get like. I don't think this, like this way that we're living with technology in our lives all the time. I think at some point some generation, either something happens.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

Which is the big worry or like some gen. The generation rejects it just in the like on the Internet. My parents do that. That's corny. I think that we do leave this and we go back again because there's been like dark ages. Right. There's been periods of like anti intellectualism and all that shit for like long times. And then we get out of it. Right. That is just like it's cyclical. I don't, I don't believe that the Internet is this like harbinger of doom that we can never escape.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think that I, I think you're probably right. That it is cyclical. And I would say that the cycle, as far as I can tell, is always paired with a tragedy. It's not cyclical just because people sober up and go like, oh, that's. That's whack, man. I ain't trying to do that.

[David]

Oh, no. I mean, I've acknowledged it.

[Langston Kerman]

I think something major is going to have to happen in order for us to be talking about whatever the next version is. And at that point, that's not on my record book, baby. We might be restarting the world. Yeah.

[David]

We'll be gone by then.

[Langston Kerman]

That's what I'm saying. I'm saying as far as our. The world that we've lived in, we are the smartest generation.

[David]

Okay. Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

Okay. I'm going to say something a little bit controversial.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm excited. Yeah. This is.

[David]

Let's go crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

It got more serious than it's ever been on this podcast. Yeah.

[David]

This is really not that funny. I'm having a great time.

[Langston Kerman]

Y' all niggas wanted to argue with me.

[David]

I don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

You gotta let my silly statement just be a silly statement.

[David]

It wasn't silly. It wasn't.

[Jasmine W.]

It was so serious.

[David]

It was so dark. Yo, he's like. He made it sound like he made, like a funny butt joke.

[Langston Kerman]

I was being a silly whack a mole and y' all came in trying to hit me.

[David]

That's not at all.

[Jasmine W.]

No, you actually brought us doom. You brought doom into the room is what you did.

[Langston Kerman]

Agree to disagree.

[Jasmine W.]

No, I think that everybody's talking about anti intellectualism, and I hate when words become so popular that I see them on TikTok comments every day. But a little piece of that makes me a little bit excited because the people in the past who determine what it meant to be intellectual, maybe we're breaking that down. Maybe those people no longer have power over what is intellectual anymore. And that is a little bit exciting, isn't it?

[David]

Yeah, that is like a new world. I think it's like, yeah, that is exciting because it's like even like shit like IQ tests and stuff like that. You hear about all that shit was biased, right?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah.

[David]

So it's like maybe it is breaking down in a system that's more beneficial to guys who might be kind of dumb.

[Jasmine W.]

Exactly.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

Idiots.

[David]

It's our time. I like this. This is how I win. This is a good time to be kind of dumb.

[Langston Kerman]

It is a great time to be, at the very least, pseudo smart.

[David]

Dumb. Guys are up.

[Langston Kerman]

You just have to know how to.

[David]

Fake smart a little bit.

[Langston Kerman]

And people are like, yep, that's good enough.

[David]

Yeah, we don't need checking on. Nobody's checking anything.

[Langston Kerman]

Anybody says, nah, man, that sound right to me. And I like how poised you were when you said it, quite frankly.

[David]

It's how we have a job. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think we're doing in here?

[Langston Kerman]

This is all made up.

[David]

Come on.

[Jasmine W.]

He just saying a bunch of big words.

[David]

I don't know what most of them mean.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm surprised every time I say one. You said that.

[David]

You don't know that word so many times. I'll be seeing some, and I'll be like, I'm going to say that to Langston on the camera this week. I got to, like, plan it.

[Langston Kerman]

I just spit out my drink.

[David]

This is egregious.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah, they were watching. Before we started the podcast, they were watching videos of. Of TI out there.

[Langston Kerman]

That's true.

[Jasmine W.]

They don't.

[David]

They just re spewing, she don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

That's how we pray.

[David]

But that is true. That is true.

[Langston Kerman]

We weren't watching TI videos. He was saying expedition. Yeah, that was one of his words.

[David]

Man, I wish I could be a word guy, though. It feels like fun.

[Langston Kerman]

It does feel like fun to just, like.

[David]

I don't have the courage in casual conversation to just throw them out all the time.

[Jasmine W.]

No, that is a thing.

[David]

It's very. A courageous way to live.

[Langston Kerman]

Very much, you know, it's fucked up. I am a little bit of a word guy, but the whole every time I throw out one, I'm like, in my head being like, is that the definition of that? I hope so. And then I keep going, and that's where I fuck up. Yeah.

[David]

I mean, listen, if you do it confidently like you said, nobody's checking.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, nobody's checking. And that's a shame.

[Jasmine W.]

I do.

[David]

You do check.

[Jasmine W.]

Listen, I think I'm well spoken, but I do not have, like, what I would consider a very large vocabulary. So I'd be like, let me Google this.

[Langston Kerman]

But see, in that time, I've already moved on to three new big words. You see how hard that took you? I'm already past you, baby girl.

[Jasmine W.]

Right, Right.

[David]

Surreptitiously.

[Langston Kerman]

You gotta trick the brain. You gotta make it seem like.

[David]

Anyway, that is how I get got sometimes, watching videos where I'm like, damn, he hit six, seven in two minutes, bro. This guy must be.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm about to say something nasty. And maybe y' all ain't gonna agree with this, but that was Pharaoh Monch. For me.

[David]

Oh, yeah, that was.

[Jasmine W.]

What?

[Langston Kerman]

Pharaoh Monch. You remember him?

[Jasmine W.]

No.

[Langston Kerman]

He was a rapper in the late early 2000s.

[David]

Agent Orange, Simon says, was like the big hit, right?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, he was like. He was the most conscious.

[David]

He was the smart guy. One of the smart guy rappers, really. I put him above even, like, Talib and most. It was Pharoh. Monch was supposed to be like, you.

[Jasmine W.]

Know, what happened to him?

[Langston Kerman]

I think everybody realized he was just saying big words.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh.

[Langston Kerman]

Like, I think everybody just sobered up and was like, what the fuck is he talking about?

[Jasmine W.]

In the raps or outside of the raps?

[Langston Kerman]

In the raps.

[Jasmine W.]

So that's. What's the issue with that, though. Like, that's kind of cool. You can use really big words and make them rhyme and tell a story maybe.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know that there was a story.

[David]

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. That. Specifically with rap music and why I was never into, like, lyrical miracle. Miracle. You know what I mean? And it's like. Because the. What I like from it most is you believing what you said, even if you didn't do it. And I think sometimes people who just put words in to put words in are. They know they're not saying Nas, you know what I mean? Like, where it's like, two chains meant that. He means those things that he says. And that, to me is more attractive than just like, Pharaoh Mons.

[Langston Kerman]

Wood grain. Chestnut titty. Fuck chestnut. 2 chainz.

[Jasmine W.]

Love 2 chainz.

[David]

Come on. You can't beat it.

[Langston Kerman]

It's like, you gotta be passionate about something. You gotta be passionate to write that down.

[David]

I think in this whole idea.

[Jasmine W.]

I don't think he wrote that.

[Langston Kerman]

You don't think he wrote that?

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, no.

[Langston Kerman]

You think that was top of the dome?

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

God damn.

[Jasmine W.]

Cause who writes down titty Fuck. Come on, man.

[David]

Anytime I've ever written the word titty, I felt bad about it for sure. Like, every time you look, you like, fuck that.

[Langston Kerman]

What are you thinking, man?

[Jasmine W.]

Y' all know what's funny? My parents. I think titty is so funny. My parents just started to say, like, I'm 36, and I think maybe four years ago, one time at the house, my dad was just kind of like, titties. And then everybody laughed and, like, it's not a word we said growing up. It's not a word. But at one point, he was just like, fucking all my kids grown titties.

[Langston Kerman]

He's like, I can finally say that word.

[David]

I've been needing to try.

[Langston Kerman]

I've Been sitting on this motherfucker for.

[David]

36 years, probably since it came out. Kids, listen up. Gather around the fireplace. Titties, titties. Your father is a free man.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, right.

[David]

He is a free man. Liberated man.

[Langston Kerman]

That really speaks to how much he believes in y'.

[David]

All.

[Langston Kerman]

Do you know what I mean? He really is, like, not comfortable. My family is straight. Everybody did what they had to do. They are in a good enough place that I can sit back and finally be my fullest self in titties.

[David]

In the home I paid for.

[Jasmine W.]

In the home I paid for.

[Langston Kerman]

I own this furniture. The man don't come calling for me. And titties.

[Jasmine W.]

You're right.

[Langston Kerman]

It's beautiful. He's really proud of you. That's.

[David]

We could all only hope one day to just say titties in front of our family.

[Langston Kerman]

I really want to say titties in front of my kids someday.

[David]

Yeah. I can say it to 80% of my family.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah.

[David]

It's like, anybody my mom's age and older, I wouldn't.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

But like, all the cousins, I'm king cousin. I could say titties.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa.

[David]

Wow. Hello, brothers. Titties, titties, titties, titties, titties, titties, titties. But, like. Yeah, not like the old ones.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

I don't even. Do you guys curse in front of your older family?

[Langston Kerman]

I do, but we're loose.

[David]

Okay. You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

Like, we don't have a lot of strong traditions to be holding tight to.

[David]

Okay. Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[David]

What about you?

[Jasmine W.]

You know what? My family. I'm actually not a big curser outside of, like, I do curse during my standup. Cause it's kind of like Sasha Fierce Beyonce moment, I think, like, my innermost feelings. But I'm not a huge curser, like, in conversation. But I think I can curse around my granny, and she definitely curses.

[David]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah. She says, shit is not a bad word.

[David]

I like that.

[Langston Kerman]

Wow.

[David]

I like that.

[Langston Kerman]

You think you could start the shit, you know what I mean?

[Jasmine W.]

Around my family?

[David]

No, I just mean, like, you say the first shit. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

If you sit down with your granny and like, shit, you ain't gonna believe this grandma 100%. And she would be.

[Jasmine W.]

She would laugh, and she would.

[David]

That's good.

[Jasmine W.]

Whatever.

[David]

That's beautiful.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

That's very nice. My grandmothers are no longer with me, but if they were here, one of them wouldn't give a shit if I cursed. And the other one would be. She would have died from it.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, my goodness.

[Langston Kerman]

It would have killed her.

[David]

I only knew one, and the one I knew. It would be bad.

[Jasmine W.]

It would be bad.

[David]

It would be bad. She just loved God so much.

[Jasmine W.]

Well, my grandmother, too. She went to seminary school. She'll be 90 this year.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, hell, yeah. Okay. Are we invited to her party?

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah, you know what? Yes. It'll be in Dallas. Absolutely. Come to her party.

[Langston Kerman]

I would love to be at her party.

[Jasmine W.]

Yes. And she'll probably say shit a few times there, but she's just a really good balance, you know? She's a really good balance of, like, the Lord and a little bit of cussing.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[David]

I love it when people get old and then it feels like they struck a balance. Cause I think a lot of people get old and they just become so rigid in this one thing that you're like, damn, you never lived loose.

[Langston Kerman]

You never got to just run around a little bit.

[David]

You never got to say, titty's in the house with the kids.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on, man. That's part of it.

[David]

Come on.

[Langston Kerman]

That's part of the whole journey.

[David]

And if you guys are watching holding back, say it.

[Langston Kerman]

Say that.

[David]

Say it right now.

[Langston Kerman]

If you say the word loud, you don't know how long you're gonna have these people say titties in front of them.

[David]

That's true.

[Langston Kerman]

They matter to you, and they need to know it. And the only way you can truly show that is to say titties in front of your family.

[David]

And if you're worried about the severity of titties, I would say ramp up, start saying booty. Start booty. Oh, booty's below titties, I think, in severity. So booty's fun.

[Langston Kerman]

I think booty's gotta be in context. I think you gotta be talking about an ass. It can't be like booty, and you're, like, being, like a little kid about it. It's gotta be, like, a thing.

[David]

Yeah. You have to be. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm not saying, look at her booty. That's gotta be the energy of it. But titties, you can just lay loose on the floor. Everybody gets to play with.

[David]

No, I think that titties is far more. I think that just like. I've never articulated this before, but this is. I'm finding a core belief of mine.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm excited.

[David]

I think that booty is far more appropriate to talk about in any sort of polite situation than titties. Titties is, like, vulgar, kind of.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think that's quite my point. I'm saying that, yes, I fully agree with you, booty is less severe than titties. I'm saying to reach the level of euphoria that your father has reached, you need to be saying something on scale with titties. And booty doesn't satisfy unless it's referencing a specific ass.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah, booty is. That's nothing to me. I tell my kid, cover your booty. Don't come out here with your booty out your drawers on. You know that's nothing to me. Okay, to me, like, coochie would be.

[David]

Okay, now we're talking.

[Jasmine W.]

Okay, now we're saying.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey, hey, everybody.

[David]

You can't just be saying coochie in here.

[Langston Kerman]

If your dad gathered y' all around the fireplace, I don't understand coochie.

[Jasmine W.]

I would actually be a little worried.

[David]

You don't want that at all.

[Langston Kerman]

You gotta start looking at homes.

[David]

Yeah, right.

[Jasmine W.]

My mama. My mama gotta find somewhere to go at.

[David]

Yeah, you got. He did it.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey.

[David]

He did it again.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey, dad, can I speak to you outside?

[Jasmine W.]

Yes.

[Langston Kerman]

Yes.

[Jasmine W.]

Let's step out to the front.

[Langston Kerman]

We're gonna have to do some cognitive tests. Cause you done lost your damn mind.

[Jasmine W.]

Okay?

[David]

You said coochie in church. What are we gonna do?

[Langston Kerman]

You gotta take it easy, man. You're drunk. You're drinking again.

[Jasmine W.]

I can tell.

[Langston Kerman]

Cause you're saying coochie.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, my goodness.

[David]

All right.

[Langston Kerman]

We should take a break.

[David]

We should take a break.

[Langston Kerman]

This has been great.

[David]

This is so good.

[Langston Kerman]

We'll be back. More, Jasmine, more. My mama told me.

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[David]

Goodbye.

[Health Discovered Host]

This week on a very special episode of Health discovered, we're taking a closer look at a condition that affects hundreds of thousands of men each year. Prostate cancer.

[Prostate Cancer Patient]

I first found out about my cancer on my birthday at the age of 45. Found out my cancer has spread to my pelvic bone. And from there, life just changed.

[Health Discovered Host]

About one in eight men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer during their lifetime. And the risk increases with age.

[Prostate Cancer Patient]

Anything with cancer, you just think death sentence. And the only thing I could think about was, who's going to take care of my family? You have to go out there and build your support system. You got to build your team.

[Health Discovered Host]

In this episode, we'll explore the science behind detection along with the practical steps men can take to protect their health. Listen to Health discovered on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app. Search Health Discovered and start listening.

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[David]

I'm short. I'm bald. I can't get any hoes. I've been fighting my entire life. That drop felt like violence towards me. I don't know who put it on there. I'm not sure where it came from.

[Jasmine W.]

Wait, wait. You're not that short and you said you're in a relationship. Say it again. You're not that short and you're in a relationship.

[David]

Six, two, baby. Don't check the stats. No, it just. I think that, I think that if you're not 6 foot, then you're always on edge a little bit.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[David]

I think that's really, that's how I feel as well. Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, yeah.

[David]

And you're. And you're taller than me.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, I'm in my six foot era. So I do understand where you guys are coming from.

[David]

Okay.

[Jasmine W.]

I just posted a today on my Instagram stories. A guy was like trying to DM me. I said, how tall are you? He said, 5 10. I said, Ooh, baby, I'm in my six. Six foot era.

[David]

See what I'm saying?

[Langston Kerman]

You're rejecting it off the rip.

[David]

You who just said to the cameras that I'm very tall.

[Langston Kerman]

You're like, from the. You're like, nah, I can't. I can't even see.

[David]

Can we get into this though? Because I'M so curious about this.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

Because I've always felt. Personally, I don't think people know 6 foot off site like that.

[Jasmine W.]

I do.

[David]

I think you do because you're thorough. I think the majority of people who have that. That get duped by a 5, 10 every day of the week.

[Jasmine W.]

Nah, 5' 11.

[David]

We'd be like 2 inches is this much.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, but I will say that in man math, if he's saying five' ten, he's not five' ten.

[Jasmine W.]

Exactly.

[David]

He's not five' ten.

[Langston Kerman]

He's probably five' eight.

[David]

That's true.

[Langston Kerman]

And that's a noticeable difference.

[David]

And if he's five' eight, he's five' seven.

[Langston Kerman]

Exactly.

[David]

Cause five' seven sounds short. Sure.

[Langston Kerman]

Five, seven, eight. Yeah.

[David]

Okay. I'm five.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey, I'm happy to be here, okay? I'm just happy to be here with my friend.

[David]

You know how tall I am. I'm in a committed relationship. That's how tall I am.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey, I paid a mortgage, God damn it. That's what matters.

[David]

Titties.

[Langston Kerman]

Don't make me say Gucci.

[Jasmine W.]

Now.

[David]

What is it? Is it. Do men under six foot, do they have a bad rapport with you? Have you gone like, a lot of times where you're like, I'm not doing this again? These guys.

[Jasmine W.]

No, I think I'm a little bit flexible, too. It's a joke. I'm a little bit flexible. But I think that where it stems from is I was married for a really long time. I was in a relationship for 12 years, and I was married. And so now that I'm single, I've been single a couple of years, and I have dated, you know, I've dated guys who are shorter, and I'm just like, no, I'm in my selfish era. So it's just because I'm saying, you know, I really want to date someone taller now. You know, I wasn't married to someone who was short, but still, I wanna date somebody taller now. I've tried to date people who said that they were five' eleven and they weren't. They're five' nine.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[Jasmine W.]

You know, and why you keep saying you five' eleven? I'm looking at you. So now I'm just like, I'm in my six foot era. Just let me have this.

[David]

Yeah. Cannock a preference, you know, and when they get the shorter they get, then they get too buff.

[Jasmine W.]

No, that's not a problem. I like.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, okay.

[David]

Well, no, no, no, no, no. I mean. I mean, personality buff. No, like sawed off short. We were just talking about this the other day.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. There is a.

[David]

Like a.

[Langston Kerman]

A little jacked man is.

[David]

You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

It's a very specific personality that is super hard to connect with. Where they are in a defensive mode at all times because. Not always able to just be themselves. And there are some exceptions. I have friends who are exception to that. But on average, little jack men got a real specific personality that don't go well with me.

[David]

Yeah, it's like I bench 315. That's what they gotta say.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

Yeah. Truthfully, what are you. You're like five' ten, right?

[Langston Kerman]

I'm probably five' ten and a half. How.

[David]

When did you realize six wasn't coming? Cause that's. That's a hard day for a man that I think every. I think every man has that day where they're like, shit, this shit. It's just not gonna be.

[Langston Kerman]

I had a nasty checkpoint in high school where I was a basketball player the whole time. Played freshman ball, played sophomore ball. Was like, on track to make the team. Didn't make the team junior year.

[David]

That's the worst year to not make it.

[Langston Kerman]

Duh.

[Jasmine W.]

Why didn't you make it?

[David]

Cause he's not very tall.

[Langston Kerman]

And that's what sunk into my head immediately, was like, oh, maybe this is my stopping point. Physically. Like, it just ate at whatever, like, confidence that I previously held immediately devolved and it became sort of like, all right, oh, fuck, my dad's six' two. But I'm not starting to get close to that. I'm 16, 17. This isn't something isn't tracking to work out in my favor via this, like, physical, athletic body. And so then I just started writing poetry.

[David]

You're smart. Cause that happened to me. And I just started smoking more weed, right? Like. Cause I was like. Cause I even. I was so sure the spurt was coming. Cause I hadn't met my dad yet. I was so sure. I was so sure. I swear to God, I was so sure the spurt was coming. That's so funny.

[Langston Kerman]

Sorry. That's so funny that for you, meeting your dad was like a labubu unboxing where it just. You don't know what the fuck you're about to get.

[David]

Well, you know what it was? It was really like a. And this is fucked, right? I would have forgiven the absence if I had clocked some shit in you that I could use. You showed up little. You can't be little and gone.

[Jasmine W.]

Your mom didn't tell you that he was little?

[David]

She don't say shit about nothing. She didn't want to tell me. He was there when he came, right? She was like, your dad's outside. But what I'm saying is. So I thought it was coming. So I even was on track to be sawed off. But I got strong as hell. Cause I was a defensive tackle. You can't be that little. You know what I'm saying? So I got strong as shit. And I was like, yeah, man. Bro. I bench 3:15. By the time my shit come in.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah.

[David]

By the time my ship comes in.

[Langston Kerman]

This is gonna be crazy.

[David]

I'm gonna. It's just gonna be. I do squats because once it stretches out, now it's nasty.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm Michael Orr and I can read.

[David]

Come on, come on, come on. Now, now, now. You gotta do something with me. Yeah. And then it just like. And then I met my dad, and then it just didn't. And then I was like. But then you hold out hope. Cause my mom got tall brothers.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah.

[David]

So you're like, okay, but maybe somehow. But then I'm also seeing my grandma, same body. And then I'm like, shit. I think I. You know, when you see where you lined up, you're like, I think I got that. I got grandma anti jeans. I ain't get Uncle Solomon, the tall cool one.

[Langston Kerman]

That really sucks to see your body in your grandma.

[David]

It's one of the harder. It's one of the toughest losses I've taken in my life.

[Jasmine W.]

So wait, this is your dad's mom?

[David]

This is my mom's mom, the one I'm close to. I don't even know my dad's mom.

[Jasmine W.]

Okay, so.

[David]

But like, it's like my mom, my grandma was really big and my auntie, and they're Africa. So it's just like, it is genetic. It's not. You know what I'm saying? It's like. It's just. That's how it is. My grandma and my auntie. But then I have three real tall, cool looking uncles.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah, cool looking, right?

[David]

Shredded.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

Solomon the man.

[Langston Kerman]

Fuck yeah, right?

[Jasmine W.]

And where they at? Cause she's dead.

[David]

Solomon's dead.

[Langston Kerman]

She also in that era too. Buff. Big old buff African man.

[David]

This is a dangerous game, Lee. If you wanna play, listen.

[Jasmine W.]

I know, I know.

[David]

But yeah, so I was like, maybe I got some residual. And then I realized I didn't. So at some point you're just like, I just gotta thug it out like this, you know?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, man, you're the best.

[David]

Me I could be.

[Langston Kerman]

Jasmine, I did some research on your conspiracy theory. We're still talking about the possibility that stepping on a crack will break your mother's back. And apparently this was a lot more dense in terms of information than I expected. I thought this was just a nursery rhyme type thing that kids fuck around with, but it's not goofy kid shit. It apparently has a little bit of a complicated history. So the original saying, or at least the saying that we currently use in its long form, because there was a long form of the this that included lyrics. Step on a crack, you'll break your mother's back. Step on a line, you'll break your father's spine. Step in a ditch, your mother's nose will itch. Step in dirt, you'll tear your father's shirt.

[Jasmine W.]

Okay, it.

[Langston Kerman]

It's real violent up top. And then it gets pretty soft.

[David]

Nose will itch. I think we all thought that was going somewhere else.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Yeah, I thought so.

[David]

Yeah, for sure.

[Langston Kerman]

I was like, oh, they getting. This is getting nasty.

[David]

All right, here we go. Is this, like. Is this, like, from a bad time? Is this, like a ring around the Rosie thing?

[Langston Kerman]

It seems as if this was, like, early 20th century or mid 20th century that this version of it starts to take over, right? So. So, like, 1950s. Let's say this is when it becomes a little bit more of this bigger nursery rhyme that everybody's using. But before that, there was actually, like, other versions of this thing, including. And this is pretty wild. If you step on a crack, you'll marry a black person.

[David]

Wait, well, I stepped in those cracks early to get to you, baby girl. How's your vesting in our future?

[Jasmine W.]

So no shade. I was gonna say the original. The first rhyme that you said. I'm like, okay, these sound like white people problems.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

Cause tearing your father's shirt, your mama knows itching. This is not serious enough for us. Okay, but that explains a little bit more. I'm like, oh, this is a little. This is a white people nursery.

[Langston Kerman]

This is a racist nursery rhyme, it seems.

[David]

And they didn't even know nothing, man.

[Langston Kerman]

They hated us so much, they didn't even want to rhyme it. They were just like, you step on a crack, you'll marry a black person.

[Jasmine W.]

Could have been anything.

[David]

And they didn't say the word crack just rhymes with black. I think when it was written, it was not a black person. I don't think this was a rhyme as much as this was just a thing they were saying.

[Langston Kerman]

This is another version of it that circulates to prove Your point? There was one that said, if you step on a crack, your mother will be black.

[Jasmine W.]

Black. Wow.

[Langston Kerman]

They're like this retroactively. You gonna find out you got a nigga mama.

[Jasmine W.]

Black moms are so cool, though.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it sounds. I think they don't realize it's pretty awesome.

[David]

It's a blessing.

[Langston Kerman]

Yes. That's the only way I learned to act other way.

[David]

Sounds difficult.

[Langston Kerman]

It's not the way you want.

[Jasmine W.]

Wow.

[David]

God damn it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. It really speaks to just how much all of this stuff is rooted in, like, racism. Like, not just this song, but, like, everything in America is rooted in some version of racism.

[David]

It's truly the story of this country is like. I feel like. Not that there isn't lots of racism, but I think black versus white racism is, like, the story of America.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, for sure.

[David]

From the beginning. That's like the main through line.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. There were. There's also a version. This is a one not racist version. I saw that was like, an originating form that said in the mid 20th century, they would sometimes say, you'll be eaten by bears at lunch if you step on a crack.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, that ain't even. That don't even rhyme or nothing.

[Langston Kerman]

That's a warning that they wrote on a wall or something.

[David]

And if you're. You're not. You're not somewhere that has bears and cracks.

[Jasmine W.]

Right.

[David]

You know what I'm saying?

[Langston Kerman]

Thank you for saying that. Yeah, that's right.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

This is bullshit. Yeah, I think you're right. That doesn't make sense at all.

[David]

No, that's stupid.

[Langston Kerman]

Even in Alaska, they don't have, like, bear and crack together. You know what I mean? Like, there's some separation of church and state.

[Jasmine W.]

The ice cracks maybe, but are you.

[David]

Walking on the ice?

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I think if you're walking on the ice, you don't need this saying. Fair.

[David]

You know what I mean? Also, if you're near a polar bear, it's fair. It's done. Yeah. What's the bear rhyme? White take flight. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Polar bear is the biggest, scariest one.

[David]

Yeah. That's the one that'll kill you for sure.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, really?

[David]

Black get down or brown get down.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah. Play dead, right?

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Black get back. Black, you. You yell at them and shit.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Try to scare them.

[David]

Black say, hey, Jack.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. And then brown, you piss yourself and you lay down and hope they don't kill you.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And then polar bear, you dead bitch.

[David]

Yeah. You can't.

[Jasmine W.]

Damn.

[Langston Kerman]

You ain't getting nothing out of that.

[Jasmine W.]

The whitest bear, the most dangerous the.

[Langston Kerman]

Most dangerous bear crazy is the white one. And I think we can all agree on that. And the biracial bear is the nicest one.

[Jasmine W.]

Which one is what?

[Langston Kerman]

Panda.

[David]

You always doing that, man. Always putting your agenda.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah, panda.

[Langston Kerman]

The Shemar mora bears.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, panda.

[Langston Kerman]

Tell me I'm wrong.

[David]

Our panda is not me. They're like, ill tempered though.

[Langston Kerman]

No, pandas are lazy as fuck and they won't have sex with each other. They like.

[David]

Oh, they're not mating.

[Langston Kerman]

They. They do it. But it requires a lot of coercion and a lot of like, very specific timing to get them to fuck, which is why they're endangered.

[David]

Where are they native to? They're native to China.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I think so. It's Asia for sure. I don't know. You know which part specifically?

[Jasmine W.]

I actually recently learned that pandas. That's where chlamydia came from.

[Langston Kerman]

Wow.

[David]

Really?

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm gonna be honest. That sounds like an absolute lie. But I'm excited to explore this.

[Jasmine W.]

I should look it up. No, like.

[Langston Kerman]

Cause I don't know how it gets from them to us.

[David]

All right, fair enough. You do know how it gets. Only takes one deviant, right?

[Jasmine W.]

You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

I really need to know if this is true.

[David]

Now type in panda bear chlamydia.

[Jasmine W.]

Look it up.

[Langston Kerman]

Now I gotta remember how to spell chlamydia.

[David]

C H L A M Y.

[Langston Kerman]

If you spell it too fast, you got it. If you spell it fast, you got it.

[David]

C H L A M Y D.

[Langston Kerman]

I A. I got it.

[David]

Is that right? I think I might have spelled.

[Jasmine W.]

I think that might be right.

[David]

I might have spelled climate. Medea.

[Jasmine W.]

I thought it was C H L Y.

[Langston Kerman]

Don't say that here. Tyler's gonna get wind of that and we gonna have that movie coming any day now.

[David]

Madea Takes on Climate Control is sort of the movie we all this country needs.

[Langston Kerman]

That actually would be a really fucking bring us together ass film.

[David]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What would it be called?

[Langston Kerman]

Climate Madea. Sounded like a pretty good title to me. But Madea goes to the ozone layer, right?

[David]

I don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

Madea goes green.

[David]

Madea goes green.

[Jasmine W.]

Madea goes green.

[Langston Kerman]

Madea goes green.

[David]

Cause she'll also smoke weed in the movie.

[Langston Kerman]

And I think there's like a really nice scene where like, Greta Thunberg is like, giving an impassioned speech and then Madea can like, hit her with a purse and be like, shut up, bitch, I got this. And then just down the barrel, say all the things we need.

[David]

Okay? Tyler, I know we've talked a lot about you. Yeah, we said a lot of bad shit, but this is a once in a lifetime. I actually.

[Langston Kerman]

I think you could save the world, Tyler Perry, and I've never said that. I think you're in a position right now to save everything. Madea Goes Green is an opportunity to not only build your franchise possibly into its final stage, but more importantly, you can truly save our planet. You can encourage a bunch of people who have not taken climate change seriously for a multitude of reasons. Environmental warfare on the black community is an active threat and we should not ignore that. That said, old black people ain't excited about saving the environment. And you could change that, Tyler Perry.

[David]

We're.

[Langston Kerman]

We're trusting this with you.

[David]

That would be huge.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't need a cut. I. I do.

[David]

Nope, don't do that. He doesn't pay union prices. He could give us a cut. Yeah, we could get a cut.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, give us a cut.

[David]

Give us a cut.

[Langston Kerman]

But it ain't got to be a big cut. I just need you to save the world. World.

[David]

I just want a house.

[Jasmine W.]

I'm like, do. Do we even need the movie? I mean, he is a billionaire. Just the money.

[David]

Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

Can we do something?

[Langston Kerman]

I got a feeling that that's not how he does business. Something tells me that I don't think he got to a billion dollars by being charitable with it. Do you know what I mean?

[David]

Yeah. That's the only way you could get it.

[Jasmine W.]

How far.

[David]

I was thinking about this. This doesn't have anything to do with anything.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

How far, in terms of common decency, how far do you think the nicest billionaire is above, like, the nicest person or below the nicest person, you know, in terms of, like, common decency?

[Langston Kerman]

Common decency, yeah. I think billionaires are some of the most commonly decent people on the planet.

[David]

But the actions, you can't. Like, like, you can't detach that from that. Like, you have to. Oh, I. I'm.

[Langston Kerman]

I guess I'm asking, are you referring to how they behave like, their propriety or are you talking about, like, their actual common. Like their actual.

[David]

Because propriety is so far from. That's what I mean. Because propriety is like, they're all going to be. They're all very well spoken and I'm sure, charming and stuff like that.

[Langston Kerman]

That's what I. I think they're all extremely charming, extremely personable. Everybody that talks about Donald Trump.

[David]

Yeah. People love it.

[Langston Kerman]

Go. That dude is awesome.

[David]

People love that. Yeah. People, People. He was really beloved, like, just like a very personal guy.

[Langston Kerman]

I think even though a lot of people, when they come back and granted to meet with him, is to already have made decisions in your head where you're, like, wanting to like this person.

[Jasmine W.]

Right.

[Langston Kerman]

But nobody is. On average, nobody's walking away and being like, he was an asshole as much as they are charmed by him. And I think that that is not at all reflective of a good person. No, he is a awful, awful, just evil person. But at its root, that has nothing to do with your socializing and charm and shit, right?

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, no. I associate billionaires because I've been in close proximity with people who want to be billionaires. And there's the most charming, nice, sweet, but they don't care about other people.

[David]

Right?

[Jasmine W.]

So, you know, like, I may see somebody and be like, oh, my God. Or I may see things happening across the world and be like, this is terrible. They honestly just don't give a fuck.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

That's how billionaires operate. So you might meet them and they might be kind, but I truly believe they just honestly do not care about other people at all, whatsoever.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

And that's how you get to billionaire status.

[Langston Kerman]

Hundred percent.

[David]

Damn. You just gotta be out for you.

[Langston Kerman]

Elon's whole thing is that he thinks he's saving the world, right? Like, he really built that up in his head, is like, I am saving the planet. And he sees all of, like, the pain, the suffering, the sort of, like, the challenges that he's adding to the world as necessary sacrifices for a greater good. He's imagined. This isn't a person who has even the ability to see your experience and value it. Because he's like, nah, I gotta. I'm Iron man, bro. I gotta keep being Iron Man.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah.

[David]

Yeah, you gotta be a hero.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it fucking sucks.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Can I tell y' all something else that sucks? Yeah, there are a bunch of other nursery rhyme type things that have these same racist origins.

[Jasmine W.]

Wait, what happened to chlamydia? You're supposed to be looking at.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, that's nonsense. You're spreading absolute nonsense. I was trying to do you a favor.

[David]

No. People need to know the truth.

[Jasmine W.]

I can be wrong. I said I heard it at a bar the other day. Okay, you're drunk.

[David]

You're drunk, Jasmine, You're. Gucci. Gucci.

[Jasmine W.]

All right, well, I was wrong. It's fine.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, no, pandas don't even really come up. Koalas are ones. The ones that everybody thinks.

[David]

Oh, I heard that. Okay, I think I have heard. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

They have. Or. Or There's a lot of questions of whether or not they in fact have chlamydia and they're all giving it to each other. I think that is also a little bit of a non truth, but. But it's a little more complicated than they do have it. But it isn't necessarily as like actively spreading in their community because of the way they. That we've made it safe. Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

Okay, cool.

[David]

It's like hpv.

[Langston Kerman]

I think all the boy ones don't know if they have it and they're probably giving it to the girl ones.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah.

[David]

Damn.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, okay. Racist origins for these other nursery rhymes. Right?

[Jasmine W.]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

Eenie, meenie, miny, moe. Are we familiar with that? The tiger is nigger.

[David]

What?

[Langston Kerman]

In the original nursery rhyme, there is no tiger. There's only a nigger in replace of the tiger. And it was catch a nigger by his toe. If he hollers, let him go. Eeny, meenie, miny, moe.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah, I think I've heard that one before.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. And this is where it gets even more interesting. The original to that, the one that was the worst one, that was catch a Negro by his toe. If he hollers, make him pay $20 every day.

[David]

I've heard that one. Not with a Negro, with a tiger.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, the tiger's meant to pay you money.

[David]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard that.

[Jasmine W.]

Really?

[David]

Oh, that's crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

You want this tiger to learn American.

[David]

At the time of this. At the time of this, $20 was a lot. That's just asking that somebody.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah, $20. I'm like, that's a lot of money.

[Langston Kerman]

That's a lot of money. For a tiger especially, I would say.

[Jasmine W.]

Well, even for. Even for a black person, whenever this.

[David]

Came out, the early 1900s, $20 a.

[Langston Kerman]

Day was what it says.

[David]

Nothing cost that back then, and this.

[Langston Kerman]

Was way before early 1900s. This is so its origins is slaves, right? This is about like the slave trade and specifically placing a value on that slave. So they are charging. In essence, what they're doing is saying a slave is worth $20 a day. And that is an insane price to put on someone's head and expect them to even have the chance to buy their freedom in a system that they were never allowed to participate in in the first place.

[Jasmine W.]

Right.

[David]

It really always gets like this at the end.

[Jasmine W.]

Damn.

[Langston Kerman]

I couldn't even begin to make money, much less $20 a day as a slave.

[Jasmine W.]

Exactly. It's about you being indebted to them. Yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Fuck no. It's real nasty. Here's the last little nasty one. I'll throw y' all away. No, this one sucks, too. The Ice Cream Truck song.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. So the. No, that's Monkey Chase.

[David]

Pop Goes the Weasel.

[Langston Kerman]

That's Pop Goes the Weasel. Not that one.

[David]

What are you talking about?

[Langston Kerman]

The Ice Cream Truck song is a specific. I don't think it is. Pop Goes the Weasel, maybe.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah, it's not that.

[David]

It is. What. What is the.

[Jasmine W.]

I don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

I can't think of it.

[Jasmine W.]

I can't sing it.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm gonna. But we're gonna play it real quick and see if this satisfies.

[David]

Oh, yeah, it's Jibs Hang Low.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, exactly. That's the racist origins.

[David]

It's just that Jib Zone Chain Hang Low.

[Langston Kerman]

So. So the Ice Cream Truck song, although there are no lyrics to the song that we know, actually comes from a song called Nigga Love a Watermelon. Ha ha ha.

[David]

God. That's a lie. That's not what it's called. That's a lie. I don't like that at all.

[Jasmine W.]

That's true. I've heard that before.

[Langston Kerman]

You've heard this.

[David]

Say the name again.

[Langston Kerman]

Nigger love a watermelon. And I don't like saying the er. That's the way it is. Nigga love a watermelon. Ha ha ha.

[David]

That's. AI man, fuck that.

[Jasmine W.]

No, that's so. That's dead ass. Yeah, that sucks.

[Langston Kerman]

The song was written by an actor named Harry C. Brown and released to the public in 1916. However, the song is much older than its release date. According to an article and podcast on NPR by Theodore R. Johnson II. Brown simply used the Welsh melody of the early 19th century song Turkey in the Straw, which dates to an even to even older and traditional British song, the Old Rose Tree. So he took these songs, put his words to it, and was like, nigger love a watermelon. Ha ha ha. And that became so popular that it is now our Ice Cream Truck song.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Fuck you.

[David]

That's how I feel.

[Langston Kerman]

It's crazy.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah.

[David]

God damn it.

[Jasmine W.]

I'm always, like, so excited to order watermelon or to eat watermelon because it is a story of black entrepreneurship and white people's attempt to make it. To make us feel bad about creating a job for ourselves by selling watermelon. Exactly. That.

[David]

They started a. Which is nasty, nasty whites. They love fucking up somebody else making good. Yeah, man. Just like. You know what I mean? Like the watermelon thing, the MSG thing. Like they really be like. They really just like. They really love being like that. Food's dirty. You can't have it no more.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Did I tell you the conspiracy I heard about? White Castle?

[David]

No.

[Langston Kerman]

So apparently. All right, watch this. Okay, y' all ready? Apparently, White Castle started as a segregated restaurant, right? It was White Castle because only white people could go. Go to White Castle. And then somebody nearby built a black castle for black people to enjoy the same type of food. But Black Castle started thriving so much more than White Castle. Like, with sun in them. The food was better. The service was better. Everybody was happier at Black Castle.

[David]

Regular fries, not that crinkle bullshit.

[Langston Kerman]

The sandwich is big.

[David]

Big old.

[Langston Kerman]

They're still square, but they big.

[Jasmine W.]

They taste good.

[Langston Kerman]

And everybody's fuck.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

We fuck with Black Castle. And then the White Castle people got so mad, they burned down Black Castle and scared the owners from ever reopening Black Castle. And then White Castle was able to franchise and spread its wings into a larger society.

[Jasmine W.]

Is this. This is a true story?

[Langston Kerman]

I have no idea. But isn't it true?

[David]

I think it's like a chlamydia thing. Like, it could be. Who knows?

[Langston Kerman]

Isn't that just fun? That Black Castle used to exist? That we used to have something?

[David]

Hey, I'll give you another one, Tyler. This fall on Netflix. Black Castle.

[Langston Kerman]

Black Castle. You can't have that, Tyler. You keep your grubby hands off of it.

[Jasmine W.]

Grubby?

[Langston Kerman]

No, grubby. Oh, you tried to word check me, grubby. Your hands are grubby from all the oils you rub on your boys. They're grubby fingers. And you leave black, asshole. You're welcome to Madea Goes Green.

[David]

You can have all the Madea you want. You leave me my Black Castle.

[Langston Kerman]

You leave me my Black Castle.

[Jasmine W.]

I feel like Black Castle is like a viable title for a Tyler Perry film, but it is gonna be about a nigga with no shirt on.

[Langston Kerman]

For sure.

[David]

It's gonna be about a dark, dark villain.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Named Castle.

[David]

Yeah. Named Castle.

[Langston Kerman]

Yes.

[David]

And he's gonna yell at women.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, my goodness.

[David]

You raggedy bitch.

[Langston Kerman]

All right, I think we need to take one more break. We're gonna take one more break and then we'll do a voicemail together.

[David]

Great. Oh, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

More, Jasmine, more. My mama told me.

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[David]

Goodbye.

[Health Discovered Host]

This week on a very special episode of Health Discovered. We're taking a closer look at a condition that affects hundreds of thousands of men each year. Prostate cancer.

[Prostate Cancer Patient]

I first found out about my cancer on my birthday at the age of 45. Found out my cancer had spread to my pelvic bone and from there life just changed.

[Health Discovered Host]

About one in eight men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer during their lifetime and the risk increases with age.

[Prostate Cancer Patient]

Anything with cancer, you just think death sentence. And the only thing I could think about was who's going to take care of my family. You have to go out there and build your support system. You got to build your team.

[Health Discovered Host]

In this episode, we'll explore the science behind detection along with the practical steps men can take to protect their health. Listen to health discovered on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app. Search health Discovered and start listening.

[IBM AI Announcer]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Jasmine W.]

Pop my butt. Pop, Pop my butt. Pop my butt. Pop. Pop, my butt.

[David]

Do you know what Pop my butt.

[Jasmine W.]

Meant to Harriet Tubman? Do you know what that meant?

[Langston Kerman]

It meant a whip.

[David]

We're back.

[Langston Kerman]

We're back. We're back. And we're taking this seriously.

[David]

This time.

[Langston Kerman]

We're still here with Jasmine W. We're gonna do a voicemail. We're gonna listen to a voicemail.

[Jasmine W.]

I love this.

[David]

Oh, man, they're weird. Our voicemails are.

[Langston Kerman]

They're often weird and sometimes complicated. But we got a very intriguing tagline from this person. So I'm excited to play it.

[David John (Caller)]

What's up, Langston? What's up, David John from Denver, longtime listener. Love the show. Funny as shit. I got two. Two conspiracy theories or two long held beliefs. I grew up in the Dominican Republic, and they got a whole bunch of crazy shit over there. But two of the craziest, number one, there is a long held belief from mostly the rural areas, and this was mostly talked to me about from other guys that grew up in farms in Dominican Republic, public. But there's this thing that you could increase your penis size by using the spit off a goat. Now, again, you can use the spit or you can do it the other way.

[David]

Oh, okay. This is nasty. You're nasty. That's crazy. And I don't think he's Dominican. I'll say it. This feels nasty all over.

[Langston Kerman]

He's saying you could either swipe a goat's mouth and rub it on your dick, or you can just get your dick sucked by a goat.

[David]

Which is crazy because they eat everything that comes in contact with them. That's the whole point of goats.

[Langston Kerman]

A goat is moving its teeth out the way to engage your penis.

[David]

They eat tin cans.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, you're fucking the goats and that's. You're pretending as if this is like some sort of sexual thing, when in fact you're just molesting stained goats.

[David]

Also, I don't think you're Dominican. I think you're from Nebraska and this is your home state. Lord.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa.

[David]

I didn't say Denver because that's where I'm from and I don't like it.

[Langston Kerman]

You're saying this Dominican Republic is just a throw off.

[David]

I think it's a ruse. I think it's a ruse. Yeah, that's. And I don't want to judge. You know, people talk different. That's the. He said he grew up in the Dominican.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, he said other farmers in the Dominican would talk about this.

[David]

I haven't met a lot of Dominican farmers.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know a lot of Dominican farmers. What's their biggest resource? What do they export?

[David]

It's the Caribbean. It's probably like a lot of sugar cane, right?

[Jasmine W.]

That's what I would guess, but I don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. Sugar cane is not.

[David]

Say something nasty.

[Langston Kerman]

Nah, I'm not going to be cool.

[David]

You got to go bad on it for no reason.

[Langston Kerman]

Big old thick baseball players.

[David]

All right.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, my gosh.

[Langston Kerman]

Baseball players with fat old asses.

[Jasmine W.]

I think he said you can use a spit as like, he lied about that. The thing is, they put Their penises really close to the goat's mouths or I can't imagine that they're going in the goat's mouths because I've never owned a goat.

[David]

No.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know how close you can get to a goat.

[David]

Yeah, I know that they eat through shit. Like they, they, they. People use them to clear fields and shit.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

Like they just.

[Langston Kerman]

You can feel cans.

[David]

That's what they do. Yeah, they just chomp through shit. So like that's.

[Jasmine W.]

But their tongues are all like out and like wiggly. So.

[David]

I mean, they're devil. They're devil animals. Have you seen their eyes?

[Langston Kerman]

Square?

[David]

Yeah, nasty. Have you ever seen a God eye?

[Jasmine W.]

I don't think I've ever seen it up close.

[David]

Square pupils. It's fucked.

[Jasmine W.]

Ooh.

[David]

It's awful.

[Langston Kerman]

It's hard to look at.

[David]

They're like rectangle. But it looks. They look like demons.

[Langston Kerman]

It's my favorite thing that Tracy Morgan has ever said read was that goat got devil eyes.

[David]

No. You understand why people thought like Baphomet or those demons, like they thought they were ghost goat based is because. Yeah, that shit, it looks like it's not supposed to be here.

[Langston Kerman]

It's the most cursed looking eyeball, I would say of all.

[David]

And I have a hairless cat. I know.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, why?

[David]

She's cute.

[Langston Kerman]

It's like you really upset you.

[David]

Yeah. Nobody likes it. Remember that guy we were with the other night? He was like, where? I'm. He was like, in Atlanta, that's a sign of wealth.

[Langston Kerman]

And I was like, yeah, yeah, okay. He really hit you with some Victorian shit. Yeah, yeah.

[David]

It is a sign of wealth. I don't think it is a sign.

[Jasmine W.]

Of wealth in Atlanta. I don't know if that's a compliment. In Atlanta, that's a sign of wealth.

[David]

There are some rich, rich people in Atlanta. I think we can all agree that's true. There are some rich rich people down there.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. But they doing it weird. They're rich, but they weird about it.

[David]

All right, but continue this.

[Langston Kerman]

Let's play this.

[David John (Caller)]

I want you guys to tell me what you know about that. The other one.

[David]

I don't know anything about that.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I don't. I don't really know. I've never, never heard that. I've never heard that. I've never. It certainly cannot work. And if it does work, shame on you for finding that out.

[David]

Yeah. If it, if there was anything that worked, we all would have figured it.

[Langston Kerman]

Out by now, right?

[David]

No one's keeping that secret.

[Langston Kerman]

Goats are everywhere.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

This isn't vibranium. This is.

[David]

I'm talking about not just goats. If there was any animal product that made your dish dick bigger. Yeah, any product, sure. So if there's some tree in the middle of the Amazon, that SAP is poisonous, but it makes your dick bigger, we would have found it.

[Jasmine W.]

Exactly.

[David]

Like, it's like, there's. There's nothing. You just got what you got, my man.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's okay.

[Jasmine W.]

No, there's surgery.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

There are surgeries. And are they.

[David]

Are they. What's the success rate on. Does it really, Like.

[Jasmine W.]

I have no idea.

[David]

It seems like. Like a tissue situation. Like, you need to add tissue that would react to blood.

[Langston Kerman]

My understanding is the surgeries do work. I think the. Much in the way that, like, the leg lengthening surgeries are where, like, you can improve the size of your dick via surgery, but then you, like, lose functionality of your dick.

[David]

Right. You have to spend three years learning how to stroke again.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, my God. And probably didn't know to begin with. Yeah.

[David]

No, you don't. You damn. Double bag. You down, double bag.

[Langston Kerman]

You're on one of them. Just trying. You can't do it.

[David]

Should have just kept eating. That's all. You people are like, come on, man. Come on. I can't. I can't do this anymore. I didn't feel nothing. You stroke.

[Jasmine W.]

Damien, you're drunk. You're drunk.

[David]

So what if I am?

[Jasmine W.]

I'm gonna be saying that all day, by the way. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, here we go.

[David John (Caller)]

Right next to Haiti, there is this thing that Haitian women have called Coco Morzan, and basically, it's the sucking the dick when you're it. Please let me know if you've heard about it. Love the show. Show. Y' all are crazy. My.

[David]

We're crazy. First of all, sir, don't talk to me like that. So that. That second one, though, I think different cultures call it different things.

[Langston Kerman]

Yes.

[Jasmine W.]

Wait, wait, what was it? It was like.

[David]

You never heard that song Twisty Be Yanking?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, of course.

[David]

Yeah. I think that's what he's.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, he's talking about grip.

[David]

Yeah, he's talking about grip.

[Jasmine W.]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

He's suggesting that in Haitian culture, they. They've called it or refer to it as, like, the pussy sucking the dick. The pussy is sucking the dick as it's. You're inside of it.

[Jasmine W.]

Okay.

[David]

Right. But I think it's. I think it's just. I think it's a. Yeah, that one. We're into the second one.

[Langston Kerman]

I think I would have been more comfortable with it if you wouldn't call in on so much nasty shit.

[David]

But I do want to hear the term he called.

[Langston Kerman]

Called it one more time. The Coco. Coco.

[David]

Because Coco is funny to have in.

[Langston Kerman]

The front of whatever. Whenever it's.

[David]

Coco is great because I'm not gonna lie. As soon as you said Haitian women, I was like, I'm gonna hate whatever it is.

[Jasmine W.]

Right?

[David]

Yeah. I like, tightened up.

[Langston Kerman]

It's a Dominican dude with a wet goat dick talking about Haitian women. It's about to go bad.

[David]

Yeah, that's really as good as that could have gone.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that was pretty good. He just wanted to know about pussy called Coco Mordal.

[David]

There wasn't a Z in there too. One more time.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think so.

[David John (Caller)]

Have called Coco Morzan.

[David]

And basically that's what I thought I heard Morzan.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, I'm hearing Moran.

[David]

Hold on, I'm gonna. I'm gonna Google it. You Google it. My phone's dead.

[Langston Kerman]

Your phone's dead?

[David]

Oh, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Your phone don't work no more.

[David]

I just can't really be plaguing up my. Any more than it's already plagued up. Kind of like.

[Jasmine W.]

Listen, those are just Kegels.

[David]

Yeah, yeah. Though that. To all that, I think that what you're talking about is a very regular thing that's not only specific to Haiti, although I'm sure they have it in abundance. Yeah, I don't think that's crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

Should have opened with that before the goat thing, for sure.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. I think it is. I think it's Coco Mordan. And it refers to two things. According to the AI overview, which I trust is a term for an ancient tantric technique of muscle contraction and relaxation. Kegels in the Dominican to achieve sexual pleasure and aid in childbirth. It is literally Kegel.

[Jasmine W.]

Okay.

[David]

Also, you know what I like about that? I don't feel like there is as much talk about ancient sexual technique from a lot of different. It's like, I feel like we hear about the Kama Sutra and that's it. And it's like all these places I'm sure have been doing Kokomoturang.

[Langston Kerman]

I'll say this, and maybe this is a little bit of a nice full circle for this conversation. I do think, and I stand on this, that millennials are the smartest generation. I do not think we're the best at fucking. I think that history would tell us that the people before us were fucking better, stronger, more vivacious than we will ever know.

[David]

I think it's because we're further away from being animals than they are.

[Langston Kerman]

And I think we would do well to study them and learn how to get a little bit more of that animal rather than to be. To pretend as if we've got it all figured out.

[David]

I think we're fucking better than anybody below us. Below us, like generations.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, like Gen Z and Gen Alpha and all that when they come around.

[David]

Yeah, Yeah, I agree with that.

[Jasmine W.]

You know, I don't know how old they are, though. I don't know how old those kids are.

[David]

I don't. I think they're.

[Jasmine W.]

But they're just. They're.

[David]

You have to learn firmly in their 20s, right?

[Jasmine W.]

Really?

[David]

Okay. Yeah, I think so.

[Langston Kerman]

I think they're smack DAB in their 20s. High end low.

[David]

I think that. But they just had. They all had porno exposure early, so it's like ed and stuff like that is a big problem.

[Langston Kerman]

And they are having statistically way less sex than we have. Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

Hmm.

[Langston Kerman]

So, yeah, we the best. We the best right now.

[David]

All right.

[Jasmine W.]

I don't know.

[David]

I'm selfish enough to take it.

[Jasmine W.]

I don't know if I agree because I. Well, I actually started a podcast. I have a podcast called Jazz After Dark. I do it just for my Patreon, because there's no safe space, I feel like, for to talk openly about intimacy. So I talk about sex, intimacy, relationships sometimes, but it's mainly about a sex podcast. But I feel like our generation is so uptight, and I think it's maybe cause our parents or our grandparents were so uptight when it comes to talking about that stuff that I'm like, we can't be that good at it if you're not willing to talk about it and like, share information.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

Then we can't be that good at sex.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

Yeah, yeah. That's interesting because I feel. I do feel like older people talked about it a lot less. I think they fucked more. I think there was just not as much talk around it.

[Langston Kerman]

I think they just.

[David]

Which is a problem because then I think that that is what leads to, like, crimes and shit.

[Langston Kerman]

I think they just didn't lead with it the same way we do. I think they talked about it more, more often than we realized. Like, I think, like, I mean, what the fuck were the temptations singing about if not like, sex in some version? They just. They just weren't leading so intensely with the language of sex.

[David]

I mean, I. There. I do think that there is a possibility of that, Right. That like, there are always the. Because sex has been happening forever. I don't think we just. Now, now Discovered a good way to do it. You know what I'm saying? So I think it's me. I think maybe it just wasn't talked about as, and I think it was talked about between, like, between people. I think it wasn't talked about like, like, you ever read, like, books from like, dudes from the 70s? Like, like, what's that Nathan McCall book? Makes me want to holler.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

All them dudes did was sit around and talk about fucking.

[Langston Kerman]

That's what I mean. I, I, Teddy Pendergrass was the nastiest man on the planet. Right? But he, he wasn't really saying nothing that nasty. You just knew, like, when he was like, turn off the lights. You then imagined all of what Teddy was about to do to this lady. And I, I think that's more what we're like, they, they didn't lead with it the same way, but they were really getting it in before us.

[Jasmine W.]

Yeah. So I, I don't know if millennials are the best at that.

[Langston Kerman]

I, I, that's fair. I think you're probably right. We don't, we don't win that championship.

[David]

I mean, but right now they're old. They're too old.

[Langston Kerman]

That's true.

[David]

Just by age, I think we got it.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh my.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know. I'll say this. I don't think you age out of it.

[Jasmine W.]

Well, what about. Isn't like, what's the next generation above us like, Luke and like, you know, is that Gen X, Gen X, Gen X. Don't you have like, Luke and don't you have like, freak fest and like, I think maybe the generation that's a little bit older than us might be a little bit better.

[David]

You're saying our parents might be better or. It hurts to personify it. I, I understand that. I hated what she said. That was, I understand that that was difficult. I understand that that was not a.

[Jasmine W.]

Good way, I think. Well, my parents are older, so it wouldn't be my parents, cuz they're baby boomers.

[David]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Jasmine W.]

So it'd be like our older siblings or something like that.

[David]

Okay, cool. I mean, my, my mom's Gen X for sure.

[Langston Kerman]

My mom. Yeah, my mom's 50.

[David]

Yeah, my mom's if I'm 38, my mom's 57.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

Oh, okay. So y'. All. My parents are 65.

[David]

Oh, okay.

[Jasmine W.]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Jasmine W.]

So yalls mamas.

[David]

Well, okay, relax. I don't like that.

[Langston Kerman]

We had a nice time.

[David]

We were having a good day today.

[Langston Kerman]

You didn't have a negative.

[Jasmine W.]

Y' all mamas is those girls.

[David]

Cut the feet, cut the feet. Cut the feet.

[Langston Kerman]

We were being so, so kind. Jasmine, this was so fun. Could you tell the people where they can find you what cool shit you got going on?

[Jasmine W.]

I had a blast. Y' all can find me on Instagram or TikTok a z my n JW. I also have a YouTube comedian, Jasmine W. And I have a Patreon where I talk about sex and intimacy on a show called Jazz After Dark. And yeah, so yeah, that's where you can find me.

[Langston Kerman]

Hell yeah.

[David]

Hell yeah. What you got cool guy jokes? 87 on Instagram. Oh, players, fuck up. My Special does premiere September 9th. It premieres September 29th on 800 pound gorilla. But you should still watch it.

[Langston Kerman]

You still play on September 9th? For weeks.

[David]

Why are you. Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to me? Can I just get my off September 29th, gorillas YouTube. And I'll be posting about it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, you can follow me at Langston Kerman on all social media platforms. You can see me on tour right? God damn. Now. It's the aspiring deadbeat tour. It is happening. It is thriving. I'm in all kinds of cities. Langston kerman.com to find out where I'm at and how you can attend. And as always, send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories. Tell us which generation was fucking the best. Send it all to mymamapodmail.com, we would love to hear from you. Give us a call at 844 Lil Moms. We want to hear those voicemails and most importantly like subscribe, rate, review, do all the things that help a podcast thrive. We cherish you so much. Bye. My Mama Told Me is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and.

[David]

Network and iHeart podcast created and hosted by Langston Kirkman, co hosted by David Bore, executive produced by Will Ferrell Hansani and Olivia Aguilar.

[Langston Kerman]

Co produced by Bay Wayne edited and.

[David]

Engineered by Justin Kahner.

[Langston Kerman]

Music by Nick Chambers.

[David]

Artwork by Dogon Krieger.

[Langston Kerman]

You can now watch episodes of My Mama told me on YouTube. Follow YMama told told me and subscribe to our channel. Hello, it is Ryan. And we could all use an extra bright spot in our day, couldn't we? Just to make up for things like sitting in traffic, doing the dishes, counting your steps, you know, all the mundane stuff. That is why I'm such a big fan of Chumba Casino. Chumba Casino has all your favorite social casino style games that you can play for free. Anytime anywhere with daily bonuses. So sign up [e-mail] that's chumbacasino.com no purchase necessary. VGW Group void where prohibited by law.

[David John (Caller)]

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[Jasmine W.]

Does friendly have a taste? If it does, it's probably like hello's Peppermint Flavored Anti Plaque and Whitening toothpaste.

[Langston Kerman]

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[Jasmine W.]

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[Langston Kerman]

Can small acts make a real impact in the world? Sometimes a small thing has the power to become more so something big and meaningful.

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Langston Kerman]

A minimum donation of $300.

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[David]

Goodbye.

[Jasmine W.]

This is an I Heart podcast.