The Horrors of the Internet: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode

Summary

Podcast Summary: My Momma Told Me – "The Horrors of the Internet: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode"

Episode Details:

• Title: The Horrors of the Internet: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode
• Release Date: January 30, 2025
• Hosts: Langston Kerman and David Borey
• Network: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts

---

Introduction

In the "Motherf*ckin Mini Episode" of My Momma Told Me, comedians Langston Kerman and David Borey delve into the unsettling aspects of the internet and its profound impact on society, particularly within the Black community. This episode navigates through personal anecdotes, societal observations, and critical reflections on technology's role in shaping modern fears and behaviors.

---

1. Reawakening Activism Amid Political Shifts ([02:20] – [05:27])

David Borey shares his renewed sense of activism triggered by political changes, expressing a heightened state of awareness and readiness to engage in societal matters:

"I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free and I won't forget the men who died who gave that right to me and I proudly stand up welcome little mamas and gentiles alike to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me." ([02:20])

Langston Kerman responds by recognizing David's energy and the underlying fears that drive such activism:

"The insane thing that is happening is that, like, truly, things are shifting in a way where it's reinserting fears that didn't exist anymore." ([05:27])

---

2. Personal Encounters with Fear and Violence ([05:28] – [08:25])

The hosts recount personal experiences with fear and potential violence, exploring how these incidents have shaped their perceptions and reactions.

Langston Kerman describes a school altercation where he nearly faced physical harm:

"When I had, like, a date for a beat up, beat down... a scuffle at lunch... a talking shit, maybe a push type thing." ([07:59])

David Borey shares a similar experience, highlighting the psychological impact of such events:

"Have you ever been in a physical altercation where you were actually scared and then you came out on top? That's the best feeling." ([06:13])

---

3. The Impact of the Internet on Perception and Behavior ([08:26] – [35:50])

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing how the internet has transformed societal norms, fears, and interactions.

Langston Kerman emphasizes the warped perception caused by constant online exposure:

"The Internet has warped children's brains in a way that they cannot be fixed." ([10:58])

David Borey elaborates on the overwhelming nature of online content:

"My Explore page is just truly, truly vile. It's getting better, but it's bad." ([24:39])

The duo critiques the quality of internet content, advocating for higher standards and meaningful contributions:

"We have lowered the standards of what Internet worthy is. It should have to reach a level of professional or crazy to contribute to the larger conversation." ([34:08])

They discuss the fleeting nature of internet engagement and the lack of retention among users:

"You don't retain the majority of what you're taking in." ([35:02])

---

4. Reflections on Freedom and Systematization ([35:51] – [42:50])

The conversation shifts towards the concept of freedom in the digital age and the necessity of structured systems to maintain societal order.

David Borey questions the viability of complete freedom:

"Have you ever had complete freedom in your life? How did that go?" ([40:10])

Langston Kerman reflects on the human need for rules and structure:

"People always return to religion... it's at least some version of agreed upon set of rules that we abide by." ([41:11])

They argue that systems are essential for preventing chaos and maintaining responsibility:

"We need restrictions on the Internet... a system works." ([38:00])

---

5. The Role of Personal Responsibility and Creativity ([42:31] – [45:50])

Langston and David discuss personal growth, creativity, and the importance of honing skills to contribute positively to society.

David Borey shares his journey in improving artistic skills:

"I have good instincts. It's the application that's not great. Made that black rodeo Video all by myself." ([43:14])

Langston Kerman encourages patience and continuous learning:

"Take your time, because I'm excited to see what you can do on the other end." ([45:26])

They emphasize the importance of meaningful contributions over mere participation in internet trends:

"We have to get back to a place of true provocation... showing me something that is exceptional." ([35:50])

---

6. Closing Remarks and Call to Action ([46:38] – [47:08])

The hosts conclude the episode by encouraging listeners to engage with their content and participate in the ongoing conversation about conspiracies and societal issues.

Langston Kerman invites audience interaction:

"Send us the voicemails and buy the merch. Yeah, like subscribe, review rate, receive and be active. Bye." ([46:42])

David Borey reiterates the importance of active participation:

"We be killing even when y'all ain't around." ([14:23])

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• David Borey ([02:20]):

  "I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free and I won't forget the men who died who gave that right to me."

• Langston Kerman ([05:27]):

  "Truly, things are shifting in a way where it's reinserting fears that didn't exist anymore."

• David Borey ([24:39]):

  "My Explore page is just truly, truly vile. It's getting better, but it's bad."

• Langston Kerman ([34:08]):

  "We have lowered the standards of what Internet worthy is. It should have to reach a level of professional or crazy to contribute to the larger conversation."

• David Borey ([40:10]):

  "Have you ever had complete freedom in your life? How did that go?"

• Langston Kerman ([41:11]):

  "People always return to religion... it's at least some version of agreed upon set of rules that we abide by."

• David Borey ([43:14]):

  "I have good instincts. It's the application that's not great. Made that black rodeo Video all by myself."

---

Conclusion

In this thought-provoking mini-episode, Langston Kerman and David Borey offer a candid exploration of the internet's darker facets and their personal battles with fear and societal pressures. Through engaging dialogue and heartfelt anecdotes, they highlight the necessity for meaningful online interactions, personal responsibility, and structured systems to navigate the complexities of modern life. This episode serves as a compelling reflection on technology's pervasive influence and the enduring quest for authenticity and safety in an increasingly digital world.

---

Connect with My Momma Told Me:

• Voicemails: Call 8-44-literative moms or leave a message at [e-mail]
• Merchandise: Available through their official channels.
• Social Media: Follow Langston and David on all major platforms for updates and more content.

Listen to My Momma Told Me on:

• iHeartRadio
• Apple Podcasts
• Any major podcast platform

Transcript

[Osvaldo Shin]

Do you want to see into the future? Do you want to understand an invisible force that's shaping your life? Do you want to experience the frontiers of what makes us human? On tech stuff we travel from the mines of Congo to the surface of Mars, from conversations with Nobel Prize winners to the depths of TikTok to ask burning questions about technology, from high tech to low culture, and everywhere in between. Join us Listen to tech stuff on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Maria Tremarki]

Welcome to the Criminalia Podcast. I'm Maria Tremarki.

[Holly Fry]

And I'm Holly Fry. Together we invite you into the dark and winding corridors of historical true crime.

[Maria Tremarki]

Each season we explore a new theme. From poisoners to art thieves, we uncover.

[Holly Fry]

The secrets of history's most interesting figures, from legal injustices to body snatching.

[Maria Tremarki]

And tune in at the end of each episode as we indulge in cocktails and mocktails inspired by easy each story.

[Holly Fry]

Listen to criminalia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Arturo Castro]

Hi, I'm Arturo Castro and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians. People like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, and Joseph Gordon Levitt.

[Langston Kerman]

I storytelling and I love you so I can't wait.

[Arturo Castro]

Listen and subscribe to Greatest escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jon Stewart]

Jon Stewart is back at the Daily show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with the Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondence and contributors, and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[David Borey]

Motherfuckin mini episode Mini episode Motherfuckin mini Episod and I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free and I won't forget the men who died who gave that right to me and I proudly stand up welcome little mamas and gentiles alike to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me.

[Langston Kerman]

The podcast, where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories.

[David Borey]

And we finally work to prove the conspiracies at this time us. It's a motherfucking mini episode.

[Langston Kerman]

Can I say what a wild choice for how you plan to start today?

[David Borey]

It's chaos today.

[Langston Kerman]

It's real chaotic right from the start. You're going with the. I would say the quintessential Trump song at this point.

[David Borey]

Is that his?

[Langston Kerman]

It wasn't. I think at first it was just that whatever his name, Lee something. It ain't Lee Daniels, but it's like that type energy who wrote the shit. And then I think Trump kept trying other people's music, and they kept being like, n, give me back my song. Don't play my shit. Like that. And then eventually Oldboy was like, you could play. You could play my shit. And now that's his shit.

[David Borey]

Listen, I'm turned. I've been watching politics all week. I went to the black rodeo on MLK Day. I'm active.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa.

[David Borey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You're giving energy. And I. I know this not to be the case, but you are giving the energy of a man who won the election. I think I know that not to be true.

[David Borey]

No, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I don't like it. I don't like it.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. Because you're. You're acting real celebratory right now in a way that makes me a little nervous.

[David Borey]

You know what it is, is when the other side is in power, that's when I get active. I basically took the Obama years off.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, I hear you. I hear you, I hear you.

[David Borey]

You know what I'm saying? But then they put that pressure on you. That's why day one, black rodeo. Let's go.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, you're on your grind now. You remember what it feels like to be an endangered species.

[David Borey]

Yeah, I'm back focused.

[Langston Kerman]

Let's start fucking. I got you.

[David Borey]

So I'm excited, and it's coming off strange. I get that, but it's not. It comes from a place of fear.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, no, I 100% get that. That is the. That is sort of the insane thing that is happening is that, like, truly, things are shifting in a way where it's reinserting fears that didn't exist anymore. You know what I mean? Like, we, as much as black people, are sort of like the targets of the vile evil constructions of this world. There are so many of the active fears that my grandparents suffered through that. We, you And I just don't have to think about the same way.

[David Borey]

That's. I mean, that's how I feel. I feel that, like, in this climate, we are given the scraps of what America could be, and we're about to make political soul food, baby. You know what I'm saying?

[Langston Kerman]

Hey, don't throw away them pigs, V. Come on.

[David Borey]

Come on.

[Langston Kerman]

We might be able to do something with that.

[David Borey]

I ball the best on a budget, you know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

I just so happen to have a big old jar of vinegar over here. Let's see what happens.

[David Borey]

Yeah, I'm scared out here. I might fuck around and have a kid.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa. That's not gonna. That doesn't reduce the fears. I'll be honest with you that.

[David Borey]

What I'm saying is I play better scared.

[Langston Kerman]

Let's see how scared you can get.

[David Borey]

Have you ever been in a physical altercation where you were actually scared and then you came out on top? That's the best feeling.

[Langston Kerman]

Uh, yeah. Yeah. Most of my physical altercations I've either lost or broke even, I'll be honest with you.

[David Borey]

That's fair.

[Langston Kerman]

But I've had a couple where, like, I was legit. Like, fuck, I'm getting fucked up. And then, like, was able to turn it around enough that I was like, whoa, all right. Yeah.

[David Borey]

And then you found that power within yourself.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I'm an animal. I can be an animal.

[David Borey]

That's. That's where I am right now.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Like, this kid. This is kid. I remember. I. It was crazy. I. Accident. I spilled a brisk iced tea on his head, and he called me out later in the day. He was like, I'm about to beat your ass after school. And all day I was so scared. And I was like, you know that thing where you're, like, low key looking for help and nobody was coming? I remember I was talking to. I remember specifically because it was Ramadan, and one of my friends was like, half fake Muslim, and he was like, oh, I'm so hungry. And I was like, I think this is the one guy that's gonna help me out. He was like, I wouldn't pour a brisk on somebody that's fucked up. And I was like, no. I was like, oh, no. You have the discipline to defeat this bully with me. Come on.

[Langston Kerman]

Wait, wait, Wa. Let's not make this a moral conversation. Back me up.

[David Borey]

Yeah, yeah. We're friends. You're at my lunch table. Yeah. And then he got me in the athletic hallway, and it didn't go the way he wanted it to. Wow.

[Langston Kerman]

The most stressed I think I've ever been in my life is when I had, like a date for a beat up, beat down, you know what I mean? When, like, I remember there was this one dude who we kind of got into a scuffle at lunch, and then he was like, 3:00. And, like, scuffled like a talking shit, maybe a push type thing, but enough.

[David Borey]

Enough to get your, like, adrenaline going.

[Langston Kerman]

Enough to get the adrenaline going, but not enough. And I think, because I wasn't the aggressor, not enough evidence that, like, that, like, I was gonna win anything. Do you know what I mean? Like, the nigga pushed me. It was like. And then teachers showed up or lunch staff, whatever. And then. And he was like, 3:00. I'm on your ass. Whatever. And the rest of that goddamn day.

[David Borey]

Brother, you're hoping for. You're hoping for a school shooting straight up. Not. Okay, that was crazy. But you know what I'm saying?

[Langston Kerman]

White boys in trench coats, please.

[David Borey]

You're hoping for a bomb threat. Like you're hoping for an act of God.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Cause an act of God. Then you're like, okay, I got enough time that this can cool off and maybe I won't have to address it directly in that way.

[Langston Kerman]

Did you ever have a kid snap in school?

[David Borey]

We. No, no, no, no. We had one time. There was. Somebody wrote, this is so crazy. It was on my desk, actually. I was in Spanish class. This is in high school. And somebody wrote like, February 11th, everybody's gonna pay.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa.

[David Borey]

On the desk. And you know what? I told. I fucking told. I told immediately. I told the motherfucking teacher. I said, look at this. I'm not safe in here. And then February 11th came and I didn't go to school. Hey, let's go go crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

You deserve it. That's so nice.

[David Borey]

I snitched immediately. I told. I told. I fucking told.

[Langston Kerman]

I hate that people don't snitch. Why would you not snitch? It's so scary.

[David Borey]

I think that there are instances where you should not snitch. I think if me and you did some shit and you snitch on me, that's snitching.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I'm not talking about snitching in the grand sense of it. I understand that, like, relationships should have more depth to them than to make me solely responsible with. You know what I mean? Like, if I believed in you, I should not need to snitch on you. And we should foster healthy enough for relationships that, like, even if you did some bad shit. I go, well, no, I believe in this person enough that I don't have to be the one that takes him down. That said, if somebody says they're going to shoot up a public school, come on, tell. Come on, fucking tell.

[David Borey]

White kids all over the school. I don't know, it could be anybody. Anybody. My back's to the wall. What am I going to do?

[Langston Kerman]

So crazy that there are like witnesses and adults and people tracking these things and are. Opt to like, play it cool, don't play it cool. The Internet has warped children's brains in a way that they cannot be fixed. So if a boy says he wants to harm people, believe him. That's what he wants to do.

[David Borey]

And this wasn't. It wasn't even active like this. This is probably like 02. So, you know, I still had 9, 11 bubbling up in me. And then also this is in Colorado where Columbine happened. I fucking told.

[Langston Kerman]

No, you should have.

[Jon Stewart]

I told.

[David Borey]

I told. I told.

[Langston Kerman]

I had a kid. We had a kid snap in sixth grade, but he snapped with. I'll just tell the story. So this dude that I was very good friends with, my friend Josh, we used to make fun of this other kid in class. Everybody made fun of him, but Josh really used to go in on him in a way where, like, because he was a weird kid, he would like sneeze and then lick it. You know what I mean? Like, he was an odd motherfucker.

[David Borey]

You gotta get your kids to control their bodily functions, though. I hear, like the clothes and all that stuff. Maybe you can't help it. Shit like that. You can help.

[Langston Kerman]

He. He was a real. Without drugs. A tweaker. Do you mean like 100%, like fully sober tweaker that, that everybody use? And it was fucking in fourth grade. It was the 90s. I didn't give a shit.

[David Borey]

Oh, yeah, you were saying words you can't say no more.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, this is nice. This is fun. This is how I get to know my friends. This is how we take turns making fun of this boy.

[David Borey]

This is how I foster community.

[Langston Kerman]

By taking from him. Yeah, but this, this Josh especially used to go in on him. And it was math class in fourth grade. Josh was. Was roasting him about some shit, weird shit he had done, or his shoes, I don't remember. But. But the kid snapped. He literally went and then he grabbed the biggest pair of scissors he could find and he jumped and tried to stab Josh, like fully in his face with the scissors. And I swear to like a superhero Movie. Josh caught his arm, and it was like, holding it above his face. As the boy. I'm struggling not to say his name was just desperately trying to stab him through his face. The teacher screaming, we're all, like, trying to pull his arms, and he won't let go. It was like five minutes of the wildest shit I had ever seen in my life. And we never talked about it again.

[David Borey]

What did you. Josh, Layoff.

[Langston Kerman]

There was like, a weird thing where the kid, like, got suspended for a week or whatever, but I think they suspended Josh, too. And everybody was just like, hey, we don't. We don't do that no more.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Damn. That's amazing.

[Langston Kerman]

It was wild. Cause he came back.

[David Borey]

Okay. And this is gonna make me sound crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

I wish that I had that snap in me. I have pretty good control over shit. You know what I mean? Like, I've never just been like. And that kid, like, you know, good for him. He was like, nope, that's it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

I'm not saying good for him, but I'm saying emotionally, I understand it.

[Langston Kerman]

I think I talked to you about this. I can't remember if we did it on microphone or off. Unfortunately, folks, you should know that David and I talk so much.

[David Borey]

Yes.

[Langston Kerman]

Almost every phone call now that we have. It's like an hour.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Pretty much all the time talking. And. And when. Even when we get on, we immediately go into conversation. Most of it is completely wasted. So many of the funny things that we say are completely unshared with you. And that's. That's on us. But, bro, yeah, man, we be killing even when y'all ain't around.

[David Borey]

I was just thinking that in the Portland show, right before we went out, I said. Maybe the funniest thing I said that month. I don't even remember what it was.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't either. But I do remember crying. Laughing in the back.

[David Borey]

We were crying, and then I was like, there's no way I can beat now. I got to go. I spent it. I spent it. I spent it.

[Langston Kerman]

I literally remember crying, laughing, and being like, it's going to be. I was like. I was optimistic. I was also high. I was like, it's going to be a good show if we happen like this already.

[David Borey]

Oh, I know myself. I blew it. It was so good. You know what I mean? That's the problem with being funny. It's not like a skill. Like, you can't. It just.

[Langston Kerman]

You.

[David Borey]

It's hard to focus. It. It just. It's hilarious when it's hilarious.

[Langston Kerman]

Nah, this Shit just pours out.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I'll say this, though, to the point of, like, the wishing you could snap. I told you that story about that dude who tried to stab me in Sacramento. I went for a run. It was like, morning. It was like an appropriate run hour. I wasn't like, you know what I mean? I wasn't, like, being odd in any way. No dusk, no, like, weird chill in the air. Just a normal fucking run during the morning. And as I'm running, this swole ass crackhead popped around a corner and was like, what looked like coming out of some sort of halfway house or weird housing situation. Came out and was just yelling like, all kinds of weird gang at me, but was holding, like, a very clear knife. Be like, I'll stab you. I'll stab the out of you. Like, coming at me full, like, power in my direction. And my heart never changed. Do you know what I mean? Like, I got you.

[David Borey]

You took it, like, right, like, outside. You couldn't have even told, right?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, well, I was just like, hey, man, I don't want any problems. I don't want it, man. And I was like, walking in the street and I just walked around him and he kept following me for a little while. And I just kept being like, I don't. And I don't want no problems, man. And I just kept going. And it scares the fuck out of me that I didn't turn into an animal.

[David Borey]

Right?

[Langston Kerman]

Do you know what I mean? Like, in any way.

[David Borey]

I know what you mean. I know what you mean. Even if it was to run away.

[Langston Kerman]

Faster, to run with all my heart, to just truly save myself, the fact that I didn't do either of those things. And truthfully, I wish I would have had, like, the. The fight instinct, but the reality is the flight is more healthy and appropriate in that situation. But I wish I had either. I just kind of was like, I'm good.

[David Borey]

I have been in that situation before as well. When something crazy is happening, like somebody take out a pistol or something, and you're just like, you, just the same.

[Langston Kerman]

Like, you don't like it and your heart is racing, but you're not. You don't suddenly turn into a hero. And that's scary, bro.

[David Borey]

I do know what you mean about that. That is a tough truth to look at from yourself because you want to think you would be the hero. Well, you would love to think that you would be like, nobody pulls a knife on Langston. Today's the last day you threaten Langston.

[Langston Kerman]

Ker the wrong one, buddy. You Just messed up, bro.

[David Borey]

I never cracked my knuckles in a serious manner one time.

[Langston Kerman]

I have no clue why you would do that.

[David Borey]

Or like, when you see people go like this. I never done that for shit that would make sense.

[Langston Kerman]

You got to move your neck more in fights than you think you should.

[David Borey]

It's always been like. It's always been like. I mean, also, I get during physical altercations. I weren't that young. Like, I'd be like, when you're getting in those kid fights and you, like, cry, I was like, win or lose.

[Langston Kerman]

We had a kid named Mark who was a crier during a fight. Like, every fight he got in, but he won every fight.

[David Borey]

Sosa even.

[Langston Kerman]

So where you be like, hey, Mark be crying, but Mark be winning.

[David Borey]

But.

[Langston Kerman]

You gonna call him gay? No.

[David Borey]

Yeah. I'm gonna watch my mouth. Yeah. More fuel for the fire. You're gonna cry.

[Langston Kerman]

I want him crying around me.

[David Borey]

I'm surprised that you don't see it with grown men more because to me, it makes sense. It's so charged up. There's not a lot of things that you do physically that are that charged up. Not working out. Not sex. It's not that. You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

No. It spikes your adrenaline, your heart rate at such a fast rate and at its peak, and then it just shoots it right back to something odd. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's a lot for your body to deal with.

[Osvaldo Shin]

Do you want to understand an invisible force that's shaping your life? I'm Osvaloshin, one of the new hosts of the long running podcast Tech Stuff. I'm slightly skeptical, but obsessively intrigued.

[David Borey]

And I'm Cara Price, the other new host, and I'm ready to adopt early.

[Osvaldo Shin]

And often on tech Stuff. We travel all the way from the mines of Congo to the surface of Mars to the dark corners of TikTok to ask and attempt to answer burning questions about technology.

[Langston Kerman]

One of the kind of tricks for surviving Mars is to live there long enough so that people evolve into Martians.

[Holly Fry]

Like data is a very rough proxy.

[Langston Kerman]

For a complex reality. How is it possible that the world's.

[Osvaldo Shin]

New energy revolution can be based in this place where there's no electricity at night?

[David Borey]

Oz and I will cut through the noise to bring you the best conversations and deep dives that will help you understand how tech is changing our world and what you need to know to survive the singularity. So join us.

[Osvaldo Shin]

Listen to tech stuff on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Maria Tremarki]

Welcome to the Criminalia podcast. I'm Maria Tremarki.

[Holly Fry]

And I'm Holly Fry. Together we invite you into the dark and winding corridors of historical true crime.

[Maria Tremarki]

Each season we explore a new theme. Everything from poisoners and pirates to art thieves and snake oil products and those who made and sold them.

[Holly Fry]

We uncover the stories and secrets of some of history's most compelling criminal figures, including a man who built a submarine as a getaway vehicle. Yep, that's a fact.

[Maria Tremarki]

We also look at what kinds of societal forces were at play at the time of the crime, from legal injustices to the ethics of of body snatching, to see what, if anything, might look different through today's perspective.

[Holly Fry]

And be sure to tune in at the end of each episode as we indulge in custom made cocktails and mocktails inspired by the stories. There's one for every story we tell.

[Maria Tremarki]

Listen to criminalia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Arturo Castro]

Hi, I'm Arturo Castro and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and narcos and Roadhouse and so many commercials about back pain. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly, guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians to tell him a buck wild tale from across history and time. People like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, Joseph Gordon Levitt and Zoe Chao.

[Langston Kerman]

Titana. Charles Manson, Alcatraz, Assata Shakur, the sketchy guy named, name's Steve.

[Arturo Castro]

It's giving funny true crime.

[Langston Kerman]

I love storytelling and I love you. So I can't wait.

[Arturo Castro]

Listen and subscribe to Greatest escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on.

[Unknown Host]

Tickets are on sale now, y'all, for our 2025 I Hard Country Festival presented by Capital One happening Saturday, May 3rd at the Moody center in Austin, Texas. Don't miss your chance to see country music's biggest superstars. Brooks and Dunn, Thomas Rhett, Rascal Flash, Cole Swindell, Sam Hunt, Megan Maroney, Bailey Zimmerman, Nate Smith, all on one stage hosted by Bobby Bones. I Heart Country Festival, streaming live only on Hulu and you can be there in person. Tickets are on sale now. Don't miss out.

[Langston Kerman]

Austin, Texas.

[Unknown Host]

Get yours before they sell [e-mail] that's Ticketmaster.com and we'll see you at our 2025 iHeart Country Festival presented by Capital One.

[Langston Kerman]

Should we watch you? Well, I'll let you set this up. I don't know how to. To just. Just tell them what happened.

[David Borey]

Okay. So the other day, so I've been. You've seen I got my phone on black and white, right? So I've been like trying to look at my phone last. But every now and again I'm in the house and I, you know, I relapse, I put my shit on color and I. And I doom scroll for a. Like, nobody's around. The dog's downstairs, Alana's at work. I'm like, all right, man, you give.

[Langston Kerman]

Yourself a little treat. A little. A little of that wizard of Oz after Dorothy's.

[David Borey]

Exactly. So nobody's home. I'm treating my nose and I go through my Explore page and we've talked about it on here ad nauseam. Mashi my shit. Nasty. My Explore page is just truly, truly vile. It's getting better, but it's. It's bad. And I was scrolling and I came across this video and I watched it like three or four times and it was so upsetting. Like, it was so jarring. There were so many things at play that I realized you were the only person I could send it to because I have other people that I send nasty shit to. You know what I mean? We all have. Or shit about. Or butts or whatever. We all have that. This is so off putting as a piece of media that. And this is a compliment, you are the only person unhinged enough to take it as it should be. Anybody else I send this to, it's some kind of a strange cry for help.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

You know what I'm saying? I knew that you would take it as what it is, which is just interesting. But it was like I was like scared watching it.

[Langston Kerman]

It's. It's a lot. Let's just watch it. Let's watch it.

[David Borey]

Olivia's gonna queue it up. You guys are gonna have to see Trigger warning.

[Langston Kerman]

Kinda. I don't know. I really don't know how to explain what this is.

[Maria Tremarki]

Oh, Daddy, you're hurting me.

[David Borey]

I'm not your daddy. I'll tell mom.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, no.

[David Borey]

Let me go.

[Maria Tremarki]

Say, I'm your daddy and you're my son.

[David Borey]

Let me go.

[Maria Tremarki]

Say it.

[David Borey]

I'm your daddy and you're my son.

[Langston Kerman]

Man.

[David Borey]

Promise never to leave me. I promise. Cross your heart and hope to die.

[Langston Kerman]

Stop.

[David Borey]

Cross my heart and hope to die.

[Holly Fry]

Okay, okay.

[David Borey]

You almost broke my arm. You're just kidding. Right, Daddy, you promised.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, Daddy.

[David Borey]

Oh, he's so fast.

[Langston Kerman]

He's crazy fast. That's the part that scared me the most.

[David Borey]

Yeah. You don't want him to be able to run that fast.

[Langston Kerman]

If this dude's superhuman, then God damn. What the fuck was that, brother?

[David Borey]

It's rare that I'm like, I have no idea what that was. I have no idea what that was. I can't make heads or tails of it. I don't even feel like I need more context to it. We could have watched the entire piece of media. I don't know if I would get any more answers.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think you get any closer to what you truly need there.

[David Borey]

He was so strong.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, it starts off. Let's just start it where it starts play by play.

[David Borey]

That's the smart idea.

[Langston Kerman]

It starts off with this argument that almost immediately turns sexual. Right.

[David Borey]

It's also. We have to describe it visually, because they can't. Those aren't watching on YouTube. There's a good reason to watch our YouTube.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, you're gonna need to look at it, too.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Go run the views up on this, because this shit is fucked up. It starts off with a tall white man and a dark, dark, black little man. Actual little person.

[Langston Kerman]

A little person.

[David Borey]

A little person. They're in the. I don't. How did. Can you stop?

[Langston Kerman]

One of them is. The little person's in a wife beater, if I'm not mistaken.

[David Borey]

Yeah, he' he looks strong. So the white man is kind of like. The white man is kind of. He's. He's really taking control of him physically.

[Langston Kerman]

It seems to me like he's sort of like they're. They're tussling a little bit. But he never fully seems in control. He just seems like. Would you presume in seeing the dynamic that he's going to manhandle this little guy? I think maybe that's what it is.

[David Borey]

But then the middle guy immediately grabs his neck, takes him down, mounts him from. Mounts him right from behind.

[Langston Kerman]

And again, Armin is sexually.

[David Borey]

It feels sexual.

[Langston Kerman]

He literally, at one point looks to be grabbing his crotch as if he is going to. And forgive my crassness here, it looks like he's gonna rape him. That's. That's the implication. But then they cut to a different angle and reveal that he has him in a sort of like, arm behind his back, like a half situation.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Arm behind his back, forearm in the back of his neck thing.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

And then he says, say, I'm your daddy and you're my son, which at first I thought it was.

[Langston Kerman]

I think it's, you're my daddy and I'm your son.

[David Borey]

But he's saying it. I thought he was saying it to. I didn't realize. He's forcing this white man to say to him, I'm your daddy and you're my son.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I think it's quite the opposite. He's saying, you are my daddy and I am your son.

[David Borey]

That's what I'm saying. But the white man is. He wants the white man to say that.

[Langston Kerman]

That he's the daddy.

[David Borey]

Yeah, the white man is the daddy. He wants the white man. He wants the white man to say, I'm your daddy, but while he's on top.

[Langston Kerman]

But son is mounting sexually his father, and forcing it out of him.

[David Borey]

Yeah. And then they tussle like that for a while. White man does not want to say that.

[Langston Kerman]

But then he does say it.

[David Borey]

Then he does say it because he's being physically vested by a strong, dark little man.

[Langston Kerman]

Little fella.

[David Borey]

Yeah, little guy. He's yoked, though. He got the white beater on. He's strong.

[Langston Kerman]

He looks good. I'll say that about him. I don't want this at all be misinterpreted. He looks good.

[David Borey]

He does.

[Langston Kerman]

He's camera ready.

[David Borey]

Yeah, for sure. For sure. Not great. Not the greatest lighting, but, you know, it was 87.

[Langston Kerman]

No, no, no. We don't know what his face looks like. It's just. It looks like a tube sock and a white beater. It surely. It's hard to know what that man's face was.

[David Borey]

And then he gets up and he's, like, happy. He seems happy with the interaction. He's like, I gotta pats him on the back. He lets him up, right?

[Langston Kerman]

Yep.

[David Borey]

And then the white guy is mad. He says, oh, you hurt my arm, Stevie. Or whatever. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

He says, you almost broke my arm. Which is what made me laugh, because that made me laugh a lot, because he also almost raped you.

[David Borey]

Your arm is really the least of your worries.

[Langston Kerman]

The arm was not what I was concerned about the entire time I was watching this supposed film. Olivia says this was a UCLA film that won an A and E short film award. All right.

[David Borey]

Okay. I mean, we're gonna need to track everyone down involved.

[Langston Kerman]

I think I'd love to have whoever this is on the podcast.

[David Borey]

Well, let's continue to blow by blow. Let's continue the blow by blow.

[Langston Kerman]

Yep.

[David Borey]

So he's like, oh, my God, my arm. And then he picks up his shoes and the little Guy's like, what's wrong? He picks up his shoes. He grabs a jar of an unknown substance. The white man does and he runs out of the room.

[Langston Kerman]

It looks like his magic beans. Jug of soy sauce. Do you know what I mean? It's like a weird jar filled with something sort of like you can't quite place it. And it doesn't seem as if you're supposed to know what that is.

[David Borey]

I think maybe it was established earlier or something like that.

[Langston Kerman]

Maybe.

[David Borey]

Yeah. But he takes it and he runs down the hallway with this jar in his shoes. He gets very dark hallway. And then it cuts to him in his car and he looks in the rear view and the little man is chasing him down the street.

[Langston Kerman]

And the little man is catching up to the car at first.

[David Borey]

Yeah. And then you could tell, he hits the gas and he turns out of sight.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. And the little guy's fast as fuck.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And that's the end of the video.

[David Borey]

And I have been haunted ever since.

[Langston Kerman]

It's got a lot going on.

[David Borey]

I don't. I just can't figure it out.

[Langston Kerman]

Can I say this? I don't. I think this should be a requirement for posting on the Internet. I think for far too long we have lowered the standards of what Internet worthy is. It's any picture of your face. It's a picture of your stupid ass food. It's a picture of a mountain that we could all potentially take with no skill or explanation. But you should have to be able to reach a level of professional or crazy to contribute to the larger conversation in front of us.

[David Borey]

I get that. Because we are being weighed down by normalcy on the Internet where it's like. It would be more of a destination if it was like. If it was so crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

And I think I would argue we're.

[Langston Kerman]

At a dangerous level of normal where everybody feels like they have to contribute to the larger conversation, but they have so little to offer to the larger conversation that we're just flooded with bad ideas that aren't bad enough to really fix. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's. It's not fully wrong, but it's also missing a bunch of points. And it. It's a repeat of six other things that I saw. So now I'm doomed scrolling past it for something that's gonna fucking bring me back to life. And instead it should just be sparse and talented.

[David Borey]

Here's the thing. I haven't stopped like that on anything in a long time.

[Langston Kerman]

And I think that's the talent.

[David Borey]

It cut through the noise. It cut directly through the noise and got right into my. I don't remember 90% of what I consume on the Internet, truly. And I would argue, I don't think most people do either. No, I think you remember it as a whole. I think you. I think you consume a bunch of bad shit enough to know that a lot of people are doing it. You see that TikTok dance 50 times, so you know people are doing that dance. You know what I'm saying? But you don't. You don't retain the majority of what you're taking in.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, you couldn't possibly.

[David Borey]

And we have it. It's a difficulty with us, right? We talk about it like, how are we gonna get people to stop when it's just two dudes, very handsome, just talking? You know what I mean? Like, how do you even. How do you cut through the noise? So to your point, maybe this is what the Internet needs to be. I think that this is what the Internet was before. I think YouTube, before all these YouTube creators, was just wild videos, kind of.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I think you really had to need to put that up at a certain point, and then it shifted. Yeah. Olivia Ebaum's world. I remember. And again, it's not. I'm not proud of this, but I remember going to Ebaum's World so that we could watch the joke. Like the helicopter footage in, like, weird night vision of, like, soldiers shooting at. At fucking humans in other countries and shit.

[David Borey]

Like, your eyes have never seemed more vacant than when you were pulling up that memory.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, no, it's a horrible memory. I feel so bad about it now. I don't like that. That was a time, you know what I mean, that we all spent and I spent especially. But like, it. It existed and it sort of like. I don't think that's right. But I do think there's a reason that, to your point, those memories live on, and I think it's because it. It. It moved people in one direction or another.

[David Borey]

That's true. And to be fair, if the Internet was mostly. Whatever the fuck this was, I would not spend the time that I spend on it, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

I would make a different choice.

[David Borey]

If that's what the Internet was, it would almost be a place that you would exercise more caution in navigating, possibly. That makes sense, right? Because you're like, okay, I don't like. You know, it's like when you go to, like, like a crazy spot or something, you're like, oh, I gotta go. I gotta go to Joe's house. He lives in the Peas. I gotta. I'm not trying to go over there every day, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

It would make us all responsible gun owners. Yes, Responsible with the Internet.

[David Borey]

Exactly.

[Langston Kerman]

We would. You know, there'd be guys who are like, nah, I fucking love shooting my gun. But then there's most people who are like, nah, I have it and I.

[David Borey]

Know how to use it.

[Langston Kerman]

I know how to use it. But there's no pleasure to it. It just is.

[David Borey]

But instead, now we're all busting off at lunch or anytime something even sort of interesting happens. Not interesting.

[Langston Kerman]

It just has to. We have to get back to a place of true provocation. And it can be provocative in this way, which is horrifying, or it can be provocative because you truly are showing me something that is exceptional. And we couldn't see it the way that. And I'll be honest, every video we post ain't that we got some hitters where I go, fuck. We was being funny. And then some of them we post, we're like, hey, that's all right. We put it on.

[David Borey]

We just started talking.

[Langston Kerman]

And if that meant that they would come in and say, like, yo, unfortunately this week, you guys don't get to put a video up. All right, I'll take that.

[David Borey]

L. What I'm saying is I think we need restrictions on the Internet. I don't think. I don't think. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, especially with the election and, like, what is the true meaning of freedom? And is that something people want? And I think people have proven it in their voting and stuff that people want to be told what to do. People want answers. I don't know if unbridled freedom is for everyone, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

We need a little China. There's a little China.

[David Borey]

You have been saying it. You have been saying it. We just need a little China.

[Langston Kerman]

China.

[David Borey]

Because I often think about stuff where it's like, I judge myself as the medium. Right. I don't think I'm that exceptional. You know what I mean? And it's like, you can't. The average person. I don't know. You know what I mean? Complete freedom is crazy. Have you ever had complete freedom in your life? How did that go?

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know that I've. I think even when I had it, I was so fearful of it that I didn't truly. You know what I mean? Like, I didn't truly ever let it just be complete. Well.

[David Borey]

And what happened? I know, Okay, I can speak to myself when experiencing kind of a more true freedom, you Build your own prison. You know what I mean? You just build your own weird set of rules that you will have to go to therapy and pay to unlearn. Because. Because you don't. You don't particularly have the. You're not. You're not the best informed to create a system, right?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. It is the reason that people always return to religion, right, Is that like, at the end of the day, it's like at least some version of agreed upon set of rules that we abide by, rather than us just all being the loosest we've ever been in society.

[David Borey]

It's a system. It's a system. People love systems. And I think a system works, right? I think that's why you go to work. I think that's why work is scheduled the way it is. I think that's why everything is scheduled the way it is, is because of Free for All. I mean, yeah, I guess it was great when we were hunter gatherers, but as soon as we got done, even that was its own system. You know what I mean? Like, it's like. It's like you need a system, and without a system, we're just fucking on YouTube looking at, you know, butts that can't possibly be real.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. And even if they are, they ain't for you. You know what I mean? Like, they're just not for you. Wasn't gonna be over there and. And they weren't gonna be over here and.

[David Borey]

Exactly.

[Langston Kerman]

Truly, what are you giving your life to? You know what I mean? Like, it, truly, all of it, I think, calls to question what we are offering the world. And I believe we're in agreement that. What's the name of this project?

[David Borey]

I don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

An Imitation of Chris.

[David Borey]

An Imitation of Chris.

[Langston Kerman]

An Imitation of Chris is the quality, the standard by which we should all be living.

[David Borey]

Whoa.

[Langston Kerman]

I think this.

[David Borey]

God damn, you've done it again.

[Langston Kerman]

I think this is it. I think you should wake up every day and you should say, how can I be the best imitation of Chris that I can be?

[David Borey]

Say you're my daddy.

[Langston Kerman]

And I'm your son. I'm your son and I'm your son.

[David Borey]

Whoa.

[Langston Kerman]

You want to tell the people where they can find you what cool shit you got going on?

[David Borey]

Cool guy jokes 87 on Instagram, patreon.com davidborry Go buy my special Birth of a Nation. I got a bunch of other funny videos I've been teaching myself. Photoshop and a premiere. It's going bad, but I'm getting better. Made that black rodeo Video all by myself. Baby, this is exciting.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm liking. I'm liking hearing this.

[David Borey]

I told you, I'm activated. Trump got me active. It's scary out here. I need more skills.

[Langston Kerman]

My boy taking a typing class. I like it.

[David Borey]

About to learn Morse code. I got. I gotta. I just gotta be ready. I don't know what's coming, baby.

[Langston Kerman]

Have you seen my Mavis Beacon CD rom?

[David Borey]

That's the other thing. She came home the other day, and I was just watching this man who looks like Jafar tell me about layers on Photoshop. And then I like. I AI Generated a picture of a white lady in front of a pig farm. And she's like, what are you. What's happening?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

I was like, knowledge system.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, baby girl. What's happening is we going up 5 to 10% in revenue this year.

[David Borey]

What's happening? We about to get rich.

[Langston Kerman]

Looks like somebody knows how to promote remote. Now.

[David Borey]

I am making a flyer for this new tour. It's not going great, but I'm learning.

[Langston Kerman]

No, it probably looks just okay, but that's what's up. That you're, like, gonna. Because it's gonna be great when you're done.

[David Borey]

Cause I. Here's one thing I know about me, artistically. I have good instincts. It's the application that's not great.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. If I had the skills to make what's in my head, I would make the funniest, coolest flyers for every single show I've ever done.

[David Borey]

That's what I'm saying, Langston. It's like, if I could get it out, which is true artistic expression, but I just can't draw. I just can't do it. Everything looks like stick figures playing basketball. It's just not. I draw like, I can't read. It sucks. But now I have the option. But it's a very complicated program, and it'll be a while until I get good.

[Langston Kerman]

No, you take your time, because I'm excited to see what you can do on the other end. And I will be using you do for my personal game once this skill is fully activated.

[David Borey]

Come on, let's go. I'm ready.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, not yet. No, I hear you. I'll keep testing them waters.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Where are you going to be?

[Langston Kerman]

I'll tell you. I'll be at Langston Kerman on all social media platforms. February 22nd, I will be in Vancouver performing as part of the Just For Last Vancouver Festival. One night only in Vancouver. So come see me there. And then if you want to see me again in Vermont, I don't know why you would be in both Vermont and Vancouver, but that's your business. But I'll be there in March at the Vermont Comedy Club. I'm very excited about that. Send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories. Leave us a [e-mail] or you can call us at 8-44-literative moms. Right now the voicemails are cutting off at one minute or one and a half minutes and we apologize for that. But in the interim, keep it tight, motherfucker. Just, just tighten some of that shit up because all the hellos and formalities, you can save some of that.

[David Borey]

Just we don't need to know about you.

[Langston Kerman]

Get to the fucking. We. We don't need all that. But we are happy you're. We're getting a lot of voicemails and we really appreciate it and we're going to be be talking about a few of them soon. So send us the voicemails and buy the merch. Yeah, like subscribe, review rate, receive and be active. Bye.

[David Borey]

Mini episode Mini episode Mini episode Motherfucking mini episode Mini episode Motherfucking mini episodes.

[Osvaldo Shin]

Do you want to see into the future? Do you want to understand an invisible force that's shaping your life? Do you want to experience the frontiers of what makes us human? Human? On tech stuff, we travel from the mines of Congo to the surface of Mars, from conversations with Nobel prize winners to the depths of TikTok to ask burning questions about technology, from high tech to low culture, and everywhere in between. Join us Listen to tech stuff on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Maria Tremarki]

Welcome to the Criminalia Podcast. I'm Maria Trimarchi.

[Holly Fry]

And I'm Holly Fry. Together, we invite you into the dark and winding corridors of historical true cr.

[Maria Tremarki]

Each season we explore a new theme, from poisoners to art thieves.

[Holly Fry]

We uncover the secrets of history's most interesting figures, from legal injustices to body snatching.

[Maria Tremarki]

And tune in at the end of each episode as we indulge in cocktails and mocktails inspired by each story.

[Holly Fry]

Listen to criminalia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Arturo Castro]

Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and narcos and Roadhouse. And now I'm starting a podcast because, honestly, guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week, I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians. People like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, and Joseph Gordon Levitt.

[Langston Kerman]

I love storytelling and I love you. So I can't wait.

[Arturo Castro]

Listen and subscribe to Greatest escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jon Stewart]

Jon Stewart is back at the Daily show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with the Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondence and contributors, and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.