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Aaron Branch
This is an iHeart podcast.
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Aaron Branch
Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bowen Yang from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Hey Bowen, it's gift season. Ugh. Stressing me out. Why are the people I love so hard to shop for? Probably cause they only make boring gift guides that are totally uninspired. Except for the guide we made in partnership with Marshalls where premium gifts meet incredible value. It's giving gifts with categories like Best Gifts for the mom whose idea of a sensible walking shoe is a stile, or Best Gifts for Me that were so thoughtful I really shouldn't have. Check out the guide on marshalls.com and gift the good stuff at Marshalls.
David Bore
Have you you've never flown a spirit before?
Langston Kerman
Never been on a spirit flight?
Aaron Branch
You're in for a treat, dawg. I looked over at the wing. There was duct tape.
Langston Kerman
It was one of those where by the time I wanted to book because it's so close to the holidays, it just everybody else was like being disrespectful.
David Bore
And so I was like all right.
Langston Kerman
I guess going to take a horse flight.
David Bore
Spirit. Spirit is the. It is for horse. Spirit's the reason I had to wear all my clothes on the plane that way.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, you told me about that.
Aaron Branch
Always. Cuz you were smart.
Langston Kerman
It's smart.
Aaron Branch
I'm just saying, it's an acceptance.
David Bore
It's savvy in a way to where I got to where I was going when a lot of people wouldn't.
Aaron Branch
It's definitely giving 90s sitcom.
David Bore
No, this was. Yeah, I wish it was like, it's.
Aaron Branch
A B plot in, like, a sitcom.
Langston Kerman
This is three weeks ago.
David Bore
This is unfortunately, in 30.
Langston Kerman
Microchips in your nails.
David Bore
All koala bears are racist.
The ozone layer owes me money, marching.
Langston Kerman
To bed and dirty stuff.
David Bore
Y' all can't tell me nothing.
See, this is my goddaughter.
And I'm just trying to protect her heart.
You may have been a moon to her, but to me, she's a star. Ooh, man, why they cheat on that man. Welcome, little mamas and gentiles alike, to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told.
Langston Kerman
Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy.
David Bore
Theories, and we don't teach you anything.
Langston Kerman
We ain't got it, brother. If we had it, we'd give it to you.
David Bore
Come on. Fresh out, baby. Hit me on the 15th. I might.
Langston Kerman
We got library book to return. We ain't gonna do it.
David Bore
Come on. I got DVDs from the library. Remember doing that?
Langston Kerman
Oh, I do remember doing that.
David Bore
That was a big time.
Langston Kerman
That was huge. If you had a good library nearby, you hit a lick.
David Bore
You know what hurt me was that the library had DVDs before I did. Like, the library had DVDs before I had a player in my home. We were mad late on it, though.
Langston Kerman
That's not good to be behind the government.
David Bore
Y.
Langston Kerman
That's not a good sign when the government is. Is willing to invest in this thing.
David Bore
And my mom is still like, I just don't know. I just don't know.
Aaron Branch
That is hysterical. I never returned anything to the library.
Langston Kerman
Oh, no? No.
Aaron Branch
I was a horrible, horrible civil servant.
David Bore
Okay. When was the last time you were at a library, though?
Aaron Branch
Oh, I mean, I. In Kansas City, like, pretty. Like, normally, my mom still goes to the library to print stuff.
David Bore
Okay. Yeah, it's good WI fi at the library.
Aaron Branch
Really good WI fi.
David Bore
Really good. W. And you can vote.
Aaron Branch
Yeah, you can vote there, too.
Langston Kerman
Exactly.
David Bore
I voted at a library last election.
Aaron Branch
Oh, nice.
Langston Kerman
Oh, you went to the library and voted. We usually go to like some school that they've taken over a gymnasium of.
David Bore
I like that too.
Aaron Branch
They flip flop. They flip flop.
Langston Kerman
They flip flop for us.
David Bore
Yo. Actually, the library. Oh, boy. Who is a fan and offered to give me a library tour and I forgot to do that. Shout out to the man who works at the Denver library, the downtown one. You know who you are. I'm sorry, I didn't get that tour.
Langston Kerman
He was just gonna give you a tour of the library.
David Bore
I. Another time.
Langston Kerman
Like, yeah, but, like, why do I.
Aaron Branch
Sounds like you're about to get kidnapped.
Langston Kerman
He was like, if you want to.
David Bore
Come in and just see what we got going on. You being nasty. If you're a fan of.
Aaron Branch
That sounds like a date.
David Bore
First of all, he wasn't my girl. He was like. He was like, hey. He was like, this is my shit.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
David Bore
And if you want, you come in, I'll show you around.
Langston Kerman
Was this like a nice library?
David Bore
Yeah. It wasn't what I feel like you're thinking.
Langston Kerman
Okay, yeah, it wasn't.
Aaron Branch
Is he a librarian?
David Bore
It was a library where people go for books more than WI fi.
Aaron Branch
But is he. But is he a librarian?
David Bore
I think he was running the whole shit. I don't think.
I also think that's an outdated term. I think it's like. I think it's like garbage man or stewardess. We don't say librarians.
Aaron Branch
Yes, we do.
David Bore
I think he was a book ass nigger.
I think that's what his card said. He said Dr. Dewey. Destroy.
Yeah. All right, man.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I think that sounds cool. And if. If you're ever. Denver. If you're back in Denver, I think you should hit up your boy.
David Bore
Yeah. If I'm back. I'm not going to the library, though.
Langston Kerman
Damn.
David Bore
But I have a conspiracy. I'm sorry. That's not what I want to say about.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, go ahead.
David Bore
No, please. I'm starting to think this three quarter zip thing is a psyop to get us all used to wearing uniforms in the future.
Aaron Branch
Yo.
Langston Kerman
Whoa.
David Bore
Cause doesn't it seem like it kind.
Aaron Branch
Of just popped up out of nowhere?
David Bore
It seemed like it popped up out of nowhere. It's not really that cool. I mean, granted, I just wore a three quarter zip to a wedding. I'm not. Like.
Langston Kerman
You're not better than it.
David Bore
No, I'm not better than it at all, but it just feels like a weird. It also feels like respectability coded.
Langston Kerman
You might be. You know what?
David Bore
You know what I'm saying?
Aaron Branch
Like, you might be.
David Bore
Why do you want us all In. Cause, like, I think kids dress like assholes. We all know that. But, like, I respect their right to do it.
Aaron Branch
Exactly.
David Bore
Was like, sucking it up and being like, no, I'm dressed like a tech nerd.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Aaron Branch
Crazy. I was literally watching a TV show last night to go to bed, and because of all the tiktoks and everything, I saw a kid going to sleep in one of those sweaters that have, like, the zip. Like the three quarter zips. And so mine immediately went to. That's a nice three quarter zip.
David Bore
That's what they want.
Aaron Branch
And it's slipping in.
David Bore
That's what they want because they want you to feel like. And I feel like it's getting coated at me specifically because it's like, don't buy a Nike tech. Buy a three quarter.
Langston Kerman
Exactly.
David Bore
And they know that's the exact age I'm at. Where I'm like, it's cold out. Am I going Nike tech or am I going three? You know what I mean? It's like.
Langston Kerman
That'S crazy. I. I will say that I think fashion in general has hit this weird spot where everybody is dressing like a dork and, like, not nerdy. I think there's, like, a distinction that has now happened where it's like, it is full, like, big, weird pants and chunky shoes.
David Bore
Flattering silhouettes on purpose. It feels. Yeah. Comical silhouette.
Langston Kerman
That is fashion in a way that makes you do go like, damn. They. They do want us to dress like losers so that. So that we just all get comfortable with being made small.
David Bore
It feels, bro. It feels fucked up because even, like, the kids who are copying the 2000s aesthetic.
Aaron Branch
Yeah.
David Bore
They're dressing like people we didn't like then.
Aaron Branch
Exactly.
David Bore
Like, they're not dressing like the coolest kid in sixth grade.
Langston Kerman
No.
Aaron Branch
They're doing, like, the kid you want to punch the most.
David Bore
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's, like. There is something to that, right?
Langston Kerman
That's a bummer. Yeah, man.
Aaron Branch
I mean, you guys were in school in, like, the early 2000s.
David Bore
Well, we're 28.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. We're pretty young guys.
David Bore
Yeah, We're a young, young guy.
Aaron Branch
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
I don't know why you would.
David Bore
I don't know why you would say that.
Aaron Branch
Well, because you guys are around the same age as, like, my cousins, 29. Yeah, sure, we'll go with that. So our cousin.
David Bore
Your little cousin.
Aaron Branch
Exactly.
Langston Kerman
Hey, Arthur was off the air for me.
David Bore
Yeah.
Aaron Branch
What does that even mean?
Arthur was very much on the air.
David Bore
I.
Langston Kerman
Not for me.
David Bore
I'm.
Langston Kerman
I'm real young.
David Bore
Yo, Arthur.
Aaron Branch
Is the lie, Arthur, Now I think you're lying.
Langston Kerman
Not for me. I'm too big.
Aaron Branch
I think you're lying.
David Bore
Yeah. Six, seven.
Langston Kerman
Demon slayer.
David Bore
Come on, come on.
Aaron Branch
Just hanging out.
David Bore
Yeah. Where am I going at?
Aaron Branch
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
In my little pants.
David Bore
I bet I get sturdy. My knees are good for that. My knees do that.
Aaron Branch
That's funny.
Langston Kerman
We should intro our guests.
David Bore
We should.
Aaron Branch
We kind of went right into it.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, no, we just start.
Aaron Branch
This is fun.
Langston Kerman
There's no formality to this, and we apologize for that, but we will not.
David Bore
Change or we cannot change.
Aaron Branch
This is.
David Bore
This is. This is great. That's how we got so rich.
Langston Kerman
That's how the money was made. These art pieces did not buy themselves. Wow, man.
David Bore
Did you know this is the biggest collection of black meme art in the west coast of California?
Aaron Branch
This is a museum. This right here is an artifact. I remember when this was supposed to be published. That book, it never came out. So the fact that you guys.
David Bore
That's not true.
Aaron Branch
The book never came out.
David Bore
Oh, the book came out.
Aaron Branch
But if I did, it came out.
Langston Kerman
If I did, it absolutely came out.
David Bore
And then I say I read it by proxy.
Aaron Branch
I have a memory of. Not the press run, but when every news person was talking about it. Me and my dad, who I barely talk to, we were on the phone and we talked about this.
Langston Kerman
OJ Repaired your relationship with your father.
Aaron Branch
A little bit, dog.
David Bore
I think that's a side effect that he wasn't ready for, but I think a lot of people probably have that story.
Langston Kerman
I think a lot of people came together via oj A lot of dads.
David Bore
Called sons said, can you believe this?
Langston Kerman
Look, we haven't spoken in a while, but this has been on my mind.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
And I've run out of other people to call.
David Bore
Yeah. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Now that we're talking, I'm sorry James didn't pick up. So now it's you.
David Bore
James is a dad's friend.
Langston Kerman
Yes.
David Bore
Dad's friend.
Langston Kerman
Yep. For sure. James, our guest today, he's a hilarious comedian. You know him from all kinds of things Unstable on Netflix. You know him from the Kevin Lang Show. You know him from his own standup. He is on tour right now with Herman Rice. He's a wonderful guest. We're happy he's here. Give it up for Aaron Branch, everybody.
Aaron Branch
Thank you.
David Bore
I appreciate it.
Aaron Branch
How did you get here?
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Bitch, I called you.
David Bore
The bus. Nobody supposed to be here. Well, I came to.
Aaron Branch
Yeah, I like that.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, that's good.
Aaron Branch
I like that kind of stuff.
Langston Kerman
It's hard not to.
You'd be a fool to turn that down.
David Bore
Those are both good things to do on a day. Catch the bus. I've had that day.
Aaron Branch
And sing gospel music.
David Bore
Yeah.
Aaron Branch
At the same time.
David Bore
Singing Mary, Mary on the bus.
Remember when that song got popular, that frazen song?
Langston Kerman
I thought I liked gospel music because of that.
David Bore
They almost got me a few times. Gospel music. Same with Kirk Franklin.
Aaron Branch
Almost got me when they made that BET gospel show.
David Bore
Yeah.
Aaron Branch
We tuned into that every single week because it was like American Idol, but forgot. That was genius.
David Bore
That's really smart. BET had some good ideas.
Aaron Branch
They had a couple of. There was like a two to three year period where their programming was really on point.
David Bore
Yeah. They started. AI. What? Cena's world. Huh?
Aaron Branch
New conspiracy theory.
Langston Kerman
Look, man, if you're not gonna take this seriously.
I don't even know what we're doing here, Big dog.
Aaron Branch
I thought for a second talking about Helen Iverson.
Langston Kerman
I was like, if you're just gonna make up nonsense.
Said see this world.
Aaron, you came to us with a conspiracy theory that I did that we are very excited about. It's one that has been on our. We have a list that is our sort of extra weird list that we sometimes share with guests who have not thought of an idea. And then this came your way and you were like, oh, hell yeah. Let's talk about this 1020%. You said, My mama told me I.
The mycelium network theory.
Aaron Branch
1020%.
Langston Kerman
Tell me everything you know. Begin first break down for our listeners. What that even is.
David Bore
Mycelium first.
Aaron Branch
Yes. So mycelium is the idea of a network of fungi that communicate with each other, usually underground through their roots.
Langston Kerman
Right.
Aaron Branch
So the way that a mushroom is built in a lot of ways is actually kind of similar. It's actually the exact. Sorry. It's the opposite to humans, but kind of similar in that way also.
Langston Kerman
Right.
Aaron Branch
So we work from the brain. We go and we go down.
David Bore
Right, right, right, right.
Aaron Branch
They go from. I believe it's from the bottom and then they go up.
David Bore
Some of us do work that way, though. What do you mean?
Langston Kerman
He's a feet first kind of guy.
Aaron Branch
I see you dog. Talk about it, talk about it, talk about it.
Langston Kerman
Right. All his best ideas, starting his toes.
David Bore
All the good stuff comes from the bottom. It works away.
Aaron Branch
Worked its way up. They're like, I got a bit idea. It's feeling. So what a lot of people don't realize is that fungi is really Earth's original organism.
David Bore
Okay.
Aaron Branch
And they were black. No get around.
David Bore
Wait. If you could have worked that way. Then you really would have been the best guest we've ever. Really down.
Langston Kerman
I know I reacted poorly to Cedar's World, but I would have. I would have tra.
David Bore
He knew.
Langston Kerman
He was. I was willing to listen to you.
David Bore
Yeah. I was really trying to be, like, musical. I was, like, trying to find something.
Aaron Branch
But fungus themselves are actually pretty incredible. So they're kind of, in a lot of ways, like, regulating, like, forests, wild areas, really. Like, you probably have seen a fungus just take over a fruit in your kitchen. It's pretty incredible. But they have powers, right? So a lot of fungus, we probably are all familiar with, like, psilocybin. So with the idea that.
David Bore
Very familiar.
Aaron Branch
So I'm saying, so you can ingest a.
I also have a stutter, so if I ever start stuttering sometimes.
Langston Kerman
Don't get awkward.
Aaron Branch
Don't look at me like I have a remix.
David Bore
Yeah, Come on. Don't worry.
Langston Kerman
Our editors go crazy. They'll fucking.
David Bore
So.
Aaron Branch
If you take that, it will literally create the effect of what you get from, like, you. You are literally, like, one with the earth, and you're seeing colors and you're giggling with your friends, having a fun time.
David Bore
Right.
Aaron Branch
But there's other properties within other mushrooms that have other effects with how it. I feel like I'm not explaining this, like, the exact way correctly.
David Bore
Long story short, you're doing good.
Aaron Branch
You take in a mushroom, and an effect can happen. Right, Let me start this from the top. No, what I will not do.
David Bore
Is.
Langston Kerman
Let you restart this.
I think we're exactly where we need to be. If I can help a little bit. I think what you're talking about is this network of communication between the fungi. And also what I understand from the mycelium network theory is that they are then also able to utilize that communication to advance other life forms around them.
Aaron Branch
Exactly.
Langston Kerman
So, like, trees are able to nourish or know to help nourish nearby trees because of this network of communication that's happening under the earth.
David Bore
So can mycelium take over, like, an existing root network, is my question.
Aaron Branch
Well, no, but let's say there is, like, a plant that they see as a threat within that general area. What they'll do is be like, yo, we need to kill this thing. And so then the mycelium network would then come in, kill that plant off, and then turn it into nutrition. That will literally then feed the mycelium network for generations.
David Bore
Yeah, Soylent green is made of people.
Langston Kerman
It's a lot of. Yeah, it's a lot of communication underneath there.
Aaron Branch
What they're actually able to do is pretty incredible.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Aaron Branch
And also what they're able to do, like that's kind of what I was trying to hit on with like the properties. Right. So like there's some, like, there's some things you can take. Like I believe it's like athletes. Yeah, well, take. It's a parasitic. What is it called? I used to know the name. But you can take that fungus. It actually will start to improve like the athlete's performance. Right. And it stems from it actually being like a mushroom. Right. So it has a lot of really great properties. Right. My theory is. My theory is. And hear me out.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Aaron Branch
There's fungus and parasites in everything.
David Bore
Right?
Aaron Branch
Are we zombies already? Are we being controlled by mushrooms.
At some point? Have we taken in a mushroom of some kind and it has taken over our system and they have literally gone into our bodies and we are literally just moving around. But I'm actually a mushroom, meaning I.
Langston Kerman
Think I'm in control of my body.
Aaron Branch
But it's not. It's actually a parasite or a portobello somewhere. Yes. That I ate back in 92.
Langston Kerman
Doing a little ratatouille on my head.
David Bore
Yeah.
That'S.
Langston Kerman
We all toad for some reason, I.
Aaron Branch
Guess because there are some mushrooms also that will do this with ants.
David Bore
Right.
Aaron Branch
Like they'll take over an ant's body. They can then at that point control all of its limbs. And then from there, after a while, the mushroom will then start growing out of it once it's done and then start its next little control of that area.
David Bore
Right, right, right.
Aaron Branch
We've seen this in other organisms. Why can't that not be happening to us?
David Bore
Oh, okay.
Langston Kerman
Now let me direct this your way. Are you. You had heard of this theory before, right?
David Bore
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Langston Kerman
And is that the way that you had heard the theory?
David Bore
No, you added. I just heard it of the in ground network. You added a lot to it.
Aaron Branch
Well, the in ground network's not really a conspiracy theory. It is the truth. That's legitimately like a thing also.
David Bore
I've heard about that. I haven't the idea. Cause here's my problem with the idea of the mushrooms having taken over us. A. That means it would have to be transferred from mothers to ba. Like the point of ingestion can't be every single individual person. Right. It would have to be something that's transferred DNA wise, like. Right.
Aaron Branch
I mean, after a while, I mean, I see that as being a possibility. I mean we know that certain things stay in the DNA. Right. And then if you're born, multiplied by your parents.
David Bore
Right.
Aaron Branch
Those same things can still be in your system.
David Bore
Yeah. Crack.
Aaron Branch
Bam, bam, boom, bop.
David Bore
All right.
Langston Kerman
Babies. Bam.
David Bore
Babies.
Langston Kerman
Baby.
Aaron Branch
So we know this.
David Bore
Yeah, yeah, we know this. Mushrooms is the new crack.
Aaron Branch
We know this.
David Bore
And this is a conversation. Conversation I've had with a lot of people actually. Like now we're back in my wheelhouse. I've talked to people about this. We're going full circle for sure. We're gonna get rich.
Oh.
Langston Kerman
In this story you're pitching it.
David Bore
You're not.
Langston Kerman
You're not threatening somebody that they're in danger. You're like, nah, bro.
David Bore
We could be on the forefront.
Langston Kerman
We could be Stringer Bell of mushrooms.
David Bore
Yes.
Aaron Branch
A thousand twenty percent.
David Bore
Yes.
Langston Kerman
I had always heard this theory. Yes. And obviously the last of us is maybe the best example.
Aaron Branch
A Right.
David Bore
That's how it spread in that. Right.
Langston Kerman
So in that. In that game and then the show, the. The ways that zombies come to be is through the spread of the mushrooms or the fungi, rather sort of like creating this network that then sort of like poisons the human body.
David Bore
Right.
Langston Kerman
And they turn into these brain mushing, whatever monster zombies. Your argument is that it's less likely that we are. That we're gonna turn into these crazy.
Aaron Branch
We already are.
Langston Kerman
We already are sort of in that thing.
David Bore
So how do you feel about the theory where people talk about human consciousness got expanded because of psilocybin?
Aaron Branch
I think that there's an argument to be made. I think that those.
David Bore
It's because that to me feels like a more realistic idea than we all are like into art. Because it seems like if you had this giant network like the Mycelium network. The idea of that is that it's all on the same page. Yeah. And we're all still very individualistic. Even like regionally a thousand 20% leads me to believe that it would. It's not connected to the same.
Aaron Branch
Well, we don't know. Fungus could be different by region. You could have your California fungus.
David Bore
Right. Lazy.
Aaron Branch
We're throwing Capri Suns at each other. We're having a good time.
David Bore
Going to the gang. Yeah. You know what I mean?
Aaron Branch
You got your New York fungus.
You got your New York fungus.
You see what I'm saying?
David Bore
This. Yeah. That's different.
Aaron Branch
Fungus is not a model.
David Bore
That's. Okay, that's. Now I'm back in.
Langston Kerman
I will say that that as you asked about sort of like this expansion of the mind. It reminds me a lot of the story of Adam and Eve and Talk about it. And maybe. And I like this energy.
David Bore
No, this is good.
Langston Kerman
This good queen church energy.
Aaron Branch
Talk about it.
Langston Kerman
But it almost makes it feel as if the apple stands more as an allegory for something else.
David Bore
Like a fungus.
Langston Kerman
Like drugs. Like, sort of like the expansion of one's mind that.
David Bore
I always thought it was like pussy.
Langston Kerman
I think pussy's part of it.
Aaron Branch
Yes, for sure. That was the original interpretation of the apple was pussy.
Langston Kerman
I think the first dude who did drugs was just trying shit.
Aaron Branch
Yes.
Langston Kerman
I think the third dude who did drugs wanted some pussy.
David Bore
I think those numbers are fair. I actually will take that first guy.
Langston Kerman
He was just. He just picked up a thing.
David Bore
He was probably hungry.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, he was being weird.
David Bore
Yeah. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
He was a weird guy.
David Bore
And he was like. He told the second guy, hey, this got weird.
Langston Kerman
Second dude already kicks it with him. He don't got nowhere else to go. Yeah, you ate that. I'll eat it with you.
David Bore
Yeah, but then that third guy watched how they. And he was. Yeah. And he was like. And then he was like, I was supposed to hang out with these girls on Friday night anyway, bro. I like how he took his shirt off. Yo.
Langston Kerman
He looked real comfortable with himself all of a sudden. I wouldn't mind being so comfortable.
David Bore
He was like, damn, I was just gonna take her to throw stuff off the rock.
Aaron Branch
But this. That's called the book of Cuck. That's what that is.
David Bore
I like that.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. Third guy.
David Bore
Third guy.
Langston Kerman
Third guy is where we really found innovation. You don't. Adam and Eve.
David Bore
No, no.
Langston Kerman
That's just two dumb dumbs trying stuff.
Aaron Branch
Exactly. Who ate the apple?
David Bore
Eve ate the apple.
Langston Kerman
Eve ate the apple.
David Bore
So maybe. Maybe it was because, you know, God doesn't seem to like that, or girls eating. I don't think that's his favorite thing.
Langston Kerman
You think that she figured out she. She might be lesbian?
David Bore
She figured she gonna get that nut off.
Langston Kerman
He like, not in my.
David Bore
Was like, get out of my house.
Langston Kerman
Not in my goddamn house.
David Bore
She said, I just learned if you put your mouth on it, you can't live here anymore.
Aaron Branch
You guys ruined the Bible for me. We'll never be able to read.
Langston Kerman
This is just the way we read the literature.
David Bore
She learned a climax. He said, you can never go back.
Langston Kerman
The female orgasm isn't real.
David Bore
This is for me and my sons. My sons.
She said, that snake did some with his mouth. What that mouth do?
Aaron Branch
Yo, that's wild.
Langston Kerman
I. I wonder if you feel that these mushrooms have taken over. What. What do you think is their goal with us? Because we aren't doing right by the planet.
David Bore
That's my. That's my. That's my big thing about it.
Aaron Branch
I don't see. Here's my whole thing.
Langston Kerman
Right.
Aaron Branch
I mean obviously like we are not doing right by the planet.
David Bore
Right?
Aaron Branch
We do not know that. But Bill Gates had a quote that pissed me off a few years ago.
Langston Kerman
Okay. Right.
Aaron Branch
We're going to divert for a little bit also. But also I guess within the same thing too.
David Bore
Don't worry. Do you hear what we talk about? There is no diversion. You're in front of a Yakub candle. Anything could happen. We could go anywhere.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
Come on man.
Langston Kerman
We're the freest men on point now.
David Bore
Kai love.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. Are you familiar with this one?
David Bore
Yeah, I am.
Langston Kerman
Okay, great.
Aaron Branch
The black Dewey Howser.
Langston Kerman
I wouldn't call him that.
Aaron Branch
What was it that he faked his license? It was something like that too.
Langston Kerman
That he faked everything.
Aaron Branch
He missed everything.
Langston Kerman
Right. He could be a gynecologist. Yeah, that's what it all and had a number. A number of clients. I remember patients.
Aaron Branch
Didn't he just kind of better than Doogie?
David Bore
How much.
Aaron Branch
But didn't he get out of prison recently and then they caught him again?
Langston Kerman
Yeah, he went. He did it again and then he went back in. I don't think he was back being a gynecologist.
Aaron Branch
He was doing something else within medicine.
Langston Kerman
But he was doing more shit.
David Bore
He was doing mammograms.
Langston Kerman
He like we don't need a machine.
David Bore
I'll just a question myself.
Langston Kerman
I don't hear anything.
Aaron Branch
But if you're listening in the ocean.
Langston Kerman
Not sure.
Try again later.
Aaron Branch
That is really funny.
David Bore
Making it back in 18.
Aaron Branch
That is so. I mean it's so I can see the entire thing.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, we. We paint a portrait here it fantastic. But what you were saying Bill Gates.
Aaron Branch
Had a quote a few years ago where he said the human species is like a fungus.
Langston Kerman
Okay.
Aaron Branch
Meaning that we are multiplying and taking over the planet and not doing right about it.
David Bore
Yeah. They also said it in Men in Black. Really? Remember?
Aaron Branch
So you're saying Bill Gates is still that?
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
I think Bill Gates stole a lot of things.
Aaron Branch
One of the most powerful men in the country.
David Bore
Feels like he got that by being fair. Come on.
Langston Kerman
That's not a hero.
David Bore
It was his idea to make Windows.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
They did say took windows from somebody.
Langston Kerman
100% of like even.
David Bore
Even there's like Ms. Dos before that.
Langston Kerman
Right.
David Bore
And it was like you had to like code to get everywhere on a computer. And then Windows is what Made it easier for like, bro.
Aaron Branch
Jobs was the only OG I feel like that was actually coming up with the original.
David Bore
He was not either. He was a businessman.
Langston Kerman
He.
David Bore
He wasn't a, he wasn't a Wozniak, man.
Aaron Branch
I think I drank the Kool Aid on that. You always had the idea that he would took an acetab and was like iPads. And I was like, this guy was a visionary.
David Bore
No, I think Wozniak was a visionary, man. I've been reading, I've been reading some crazy about these tech guys. Yeah, I've been reading some crazy stuff. Not this crazy book.
Langston Kerman
Not one of the ones. And I imagine that's what's in the book. Not one of the ones that's front facing is the hero.
David Bore
Well, no, one of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy was like, this guy was like, the guy who wrote this book was like an architect of a lot of the things that made it terrible. His whole thing is the idea that you should be paid for the data that you supply to these companies. That would, instead of like creating a wealth disparity, it would create a middle class of people who could earn on the data they're giving these companies so everything doesn't go to shit.
Aaron Branch
Well, that just makes sense though, in a lot of ways too, because we're literally paying, we're putting, we. Our data is quite literally putting food on their family's table.
David Bore
This book is blowing me up and I don't have anybody else to talk about.
Aaron Branch
Who is Wozniak? It's Wozniak.
David Bore
Wozniak was, he worked, he worked with Apple with Steve Jobs, but he was, he was like the real nerd behind.
Aaron Branch
He. Was he still at Apple or Seth.
David Bore
Rogen in the Ashton Kutchen?
Aaron Branch
Wow.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, he, he, the, the, the developer that Steve Jobs basically was like, I am going to come be the Michael Jordan of this shit, but without the talent. Like, he was like, I will be front facing. I will make it branded. I will put on the turtleneck and the little glasses, big ass jeans.
Aaron Branch
So kind of what Elon did or what Elon is currently doing, where Elon is just marketing. Elon's really good at marketing, but who's to say if he's actually like, I don't think he's actually a tech genius. I think he's just literally the marketing. He just does this wild shit in order to be able to try to get the Tesla stock up. But he himself is not actually the one that's like behind it. Like, how can we Make Tesla driving.
David Bore
Make me a rocket right now?
Aaron Branch
No, I don't think so.
Langston Kerman
I don't have a great understanding of what people think he is a genius.
David Bore
Of, but I think he's cool.
Aaron Branch
Yeah, I think they thought he was cool until recently.
Langston Kerman
Well, I do. There are a lot of. I have a few friends who work in tech who have assured me that he is, like a brilliant person.
Aaron Branch
So he is smart.
Langston Kerman
That. That is their claim. I don't have any evidence of it. He certainly doesn't behave like it. But apparently he's a smart dude who has, like, a lot of insight on development, but isn't like, in the hands on deck cooking the shit.
Aaron Branch
He's not getting his hands dirty exactly. He's just tweeting out wild shit in.
Langston Kerman
Order or just is able to, like, envision things that are possible in a way that, like, I can make up some shit, but somebody can do that.
David Bore
No, I think a facilitator is its own geni.
Langston Kerman
It is. There is a type of genius to facilitation. I would argue, or at least my. My reaction often when they tell me that is I think. I think there's a level of generosity they always give to a motherfucker with a billion dollars.
David Bore
Yeah. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Like, I don't actually believe how to.
David Bore
Get a billion dollars.
Aaron Branch
Well, once you have that, you have all the say in the room.
David Bore
Yeah. Even though it's all like speculative money anyways. It is. Fucking hate that about that, because at.
Aaron Branch
That point it just becomes about right.
Langston Kerman
Resume.
Aaron Branch
Yeah. I will say that him and his brother, they did PayPal. They did the damn thing on that.
David Bore
Right. And he was early. Right.
Aaron Branch
And that was like late 90s.
David Bore
But so is that weird redheaded guy. Right? He was in there, too.
Aaron Branch
There was a couple of people. Peter Thiel.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I think.
David Bore
Sean, Sean, Sean, Sean, the Napster kid. Wasn't he in.
Aaron Branch
Oh, the guy from the Evil dude. Justin Timberlake.
David Bore
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Langston Kerman
Oh, man.
David Bore
Call it Facebook. Yeah.
I thought tech was that easy. I can do this. They're getting rich.
Langston Kerman
I kind of think that is how they're getting rich. And we just haven't played that game.
David Bore
I want to say you have to be able to put yourself in position to be the guy that says that. But it's like that Theranos lady, right?
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
She didn't even. Yeah, she didn't even have a product.
Langston Kerman
No.
David Bore
But she just, like, dropped her voice and was like.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
We could tell if you have diabetes at Walgreens. And that's these rich guys Were like a billion dollars.
Langston Kerman
And I. But I think it's. It's crazy, because if that idea works, it's a billion dollars that she earned.
Aaron Branch
But see, this is why I think there's racism within that, too. Like, what happened to the black. What about the guy that made Black Planet? Where's that movie?
Langston Kerman
Assassinated, I assume.
David Bore
Well, you're saying that like it's our GameStop or something.
Aaron Branch
No, for my aunts and uncles. When my aunt got her divorce, she. I was sat next to her as she scrolled through Black Plane.
David Bore
Yeah, yeah. This is a sad, sad story. I think we need to talk about this.
Aaron Branch
But what I'm saying is, where is that movie? Where's that a guy that was like, let's call it.
David Bore
The movie about you helping your monkey in a groove back.
Langston Kerman
I don't know if I like him.
Ad Read / Advertiser
Literally.
David Bore
Pass on.
Langston Kerman
Mr. Drew, listen, we all like Ludacris, but I wouldn't play word of mouth on my page.
Aaron Branch
I'm just saying we don't hear about those tech geniuses. Also, like, where are. Like, where are they now?
David Bore
No, the guy who invented Black Planet has gone.
We were talking about Black Planet. We talk about it maybe once a month. I feel like it comes up about Black Planet.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, it comes up a lot.
David Bore
It weirdly comes up.
Langston Kerman
Even though we're super young. We both had black planets.
David Bore
No, I didn't have a Black Planet. I just had some friends with black planets. I was not sold on the idea of a social media page yet. One Black Planet. Because I was late to even MySpace.
Langston Kerman
I had one, but did not invade.
A modicum of effort into making that bad boy turn into something.
David Bore
You know who did invest? Who? This white girl. My friend fucked off at Black Planet, bro. He met a white girl on Black Planet. And at the time, I just remember being like, something about, this is sinister.
Langston Kerman
That's illegal.
David Bore
Cause it was like, this has probably gotta be. This gotta be the audacity 056.
Aaron Branch
Yeah.
David Bore
And he was like, I met her on Black Planet.
Langston Kerman
And I was like, also, that's. That's late. Black Planet. Yeah, Black planet.
David Bore
This is probably 05.
Langston Kerman
Black planet for me was like, 03. 04.
David Bore
Yeah, this is 05 for sure.
Aaron Branch
5. You're just kind of getting, like, the rumblings of the people that couldn't find anybody that are still on that.
David Bore
White girl.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, white girls. Like, I heard they. Over there. That's a nightmare.
Aaron Branch
I don't like that. Like, it's.
David Bore
Nobody liked it, but nobody. Trust me, nobody liked it.
Aaron Branch
Why is it though, like, for, like, farmers only. I'm gonna respect the fact that I should not be on that.
Langston Kerman
Add out.
Aaron Branch
Why is it that you still feel like you should go on Black Planet?
David Bore
Why are you addressing it me like I the person you need?
Langston Kerman
I just up of you, David, you was on Black Planet.
David Bore
I know that white girls did.
Langston Kerman
Looking for white girls.
Aaron Branch
Looking for white women, dog.
Langston Kerman
I know they're here.
David Bore
You sick.
Langston Kerman
You a sick.
David Bore
No, I really didn't have to. I really didn't have to. A page. Would you. Do you think your Black Planet is still up? Like, if we tried to find it.
Aaron Branch
Dot com.
David Bore
You didn't delete it?
Langston Kerman
I don't think so.
David Bore
That would be crazy.
Langston Kerman
If you find your Black Planet, that would be crazy.
Aaron Branch
Black Planet. I'm just gonna see if the website is still up. Like, did somebody buy it at some point?
Langston Kerman
I don't think anybody paid for black.
I think somebody dropped Black Planet in an airport and they were like, you dropped it.
Aaron Branch
No, it's still up here. Defining ourselves, our moment, our world.
David Bore
Type in Langston Kerman. Unless you add, like, a different name.
Type in language arts. Da poet.
Aaron Branch
I know as it links to Kerman.
Langston Kerman
You got mean at the end, but the language arts part was probably right.
Aaron Branch
Wait, I found it. And let me hold you down. Playing in the background.
David Bore
Let me hold.
Langston Kerman
That was just crazy.
David Bore
Oh, boy, oh, boy. Man, Omarion, he could have done it.
Langston Kerman
He had a run.
Aaron Branch
That's a great transition. Yeah, I just could have done.
David Bore
Whenever I hear that song, I'm like, that Omarion bow wow thing should have worked better than it worked.
Aaron Branch
Ah, man.
Langston Kerman
I think they're two tough individuals to deal with, and I bet them together was a lot for.
David Bore
I think the one is harder than the other, though.
Langston Kerman
You think Omarion's harder than Bow Wow?
David Bore
No, I think Bow Wow is harder than this. 4.
Aaron Branch
He was a child star.
David Bore
Yeah. This is full on diva era. Bow wow. Omarion always seems so cool, man.
Aaron Branch
He still seems cool. He's vegan now.
David Bore
Yeah, he seems nice. He's chilling.
Aaron Branch
He's one with the earth.
Langston Kerman
I'm going to say it, fellas, and you're not going to like this news.
David Bore
What?
Langston Kerman
I think Omarion is the tougher cookie.
David Bore
Why? That's.
Langston Kerman
I think them boys from B2K don't care. Feel, you know, not so fresh.
Aaron Branch
Ew.
David Bore
No, no, no. Such. So long they've been getting longer.
Langston Kerman
Them boys from B2K don't care for him.
David Bore
Fizz.
Aaron Branch
I was just going to say raspy.
Langston Kerman
I'm not saying they're good boys.
But I am saying that if you're in a group and three of the four are like, fuck you, I start going.
David Bore
But if you're the star.
Aaron Branch
Was he the David Ruffing of B2K? Omarion.
Langston Kerman
That's tough. I think Raspy might.
David Bore
That is a difficult.
Langston Kerman
David Ruffin of.
David Bore
I think he was just Justin Timberlake of B2K.
Langston Kerman
I think that's true.
David Bore
I think it was just.
Langston Kerman
He was the objective star of B2K.
David Bore
I don't think so.
Aaron Branch
Because you can just tell. It was just obvious. Yeah, but you don't think he was forcefully putting himself in a position.
David Bore
That was going strong?
Langston Kerman
They try to look to every once in a while, put J Bug towards the front, but you didn't. Nobody was rooting for that.
David Bore
It was all Omarion.
Langston Kerman
It was Omarion and Lil Fizz didn't. He didn't have it. Don't nobody want what Raz B thrown out there. I think we can all agree.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
If you thought Raz B was your favorite member of B2K, you're sick for.
Aaron Branch
A couple of yns. You guys, really.
David Bore
We like the classics.
Langston Kerman
Just.
David Bore
We really like oldies.
Langston Kerman
We're different than y'.
Aaron Branch
All.
Langston Kerman
We, like, study culture.
Aaron Branch
You guys are different.
Langston Kerman
That's why we have a podcast.
David Bore
I remember when I was a baby watching the Hot in Hair video. Y. I was a baby.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, man, me too.
David Bore
I was a horny little baby. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
My first word was.
Aaron Branch
Tim Allen.
That could be one of two things.
Langston Kerman
It's either EI or Tim Allen. You decide.
David Bore
Why did it start like that?
Langston Kerman
I don't know.
David Bore
I also don't know what he meant by ei.
Aaron Branch
Ei. Like ei. Oh, like ei.
David Bore
You're just quoting the song.
You know, like, I'm Delay, Mommy.
It does.
Langston Kerman
Those aren't words, man.
David Bore
He's just.
Aaron Branch
No, you're not gonna say it to me. That Nelly made that up.
Langston Kerman
It's called e.I.
Aaron Branch
But I feel like he took that from somewhere else.
David Bore
No, tell us what it is.
Aaron Branch
I don't know, but it sounds.
David Bore
Are you from St. Louis?
Aaron Branch
I'm from Kansas City.
David Bore
Okay, so the St. Lunatics was.
Aaron Branch
Oh, seriously?
David Bore
Yeah, I'm going there on Saturday.
Aaron Branch
Kansas City?
David Bore
Yeah. Yeah.
Aaron Branch
What venue are you doing?
David Bore
It's like a theater. I'll tell you afterwards.
Aaron Branch
Oh, okay.
David Bore
But no, no, no. I just don't know what it is. But I don't, bro, because I got some.
Aaron Branch
And I've seen you some wrecks of, like, places to go, barbecue spots, yeah, yeah.
Langston Kerman
The abbreviation initially had a double meaning, one that was widely speculated to be sexual and another later explained by N as a St. Louis slang term for yes, bring it on. Them niggas don't say yes, bring it on.
David Bore
I think he's lying about that.
Langston Kerman
That album is fire, dog.
The initial interpretation was eat it, smoke.
Aaron Branch
A little weed, say it's good for your health.
David Bore
Wait, it was called Eat it.
Langston Kerman
That's what I thought. They're saying that the initial interpretation was that EI meant eat it.
David Bore
Underlay, underlay. Mommy, eat it.
Sophie Cunningham
Eat it.
David Bore
Oh.
That could be it.
Aaron Branch
It just has like a ring to it. And sometimes he was just like, oh, I could maybe finesse this.
David Bore
That's how I felt.
Aaron Branch
Like, yeah, he's finessing, but he was a thing Prior. I feel like I heard that before Prior.
David Bore
Ei.
Langston Kerman
Ei.
David Bore
I did not ever.
Langston Kerman
Look, man, you were closer to it maybe. Yeah, that might be you heard over the river.
David Bore
Ei.
Langston Kerman
Yes.
David Bore
Yes.
Langston Kerman
Okay. Hey, we need to take a break. We should take a break. We're going to be back and talk more mycelium theory. Let's do it More Erin Branch. More My mama told me.
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Langston Kerman
Give them a little something. Go ahead, man.
Ad Read / Advertiser
Break it down.
Aaron Branch
When you really break it down, we're just two honks and a needle Negro serving the Lord.
We're just two honks and a negro singing our song.
David Bore
We're back.
Oh, you DJing?
Aaron Branch
That was cool.
David Bore
That's crazy. That went crazy.
Aaron Branch
I see you.
Langston Kerman
That was really cool.
David Bore
You, Art.
Aaron Branch
Yeah.
I have the exact opposite shirt of you.
David Bore
It says water dead plants.
Aaron Branch
No, mine just says water your plants.
David Bore
Oh, I bet it's the same brand. I wonder, was it like 20 on Instagram?
Aaron Branch
No, I got it for like, $20 at a market in New York.
Langston Kerman
So somebody else got it for $20?
David Bore
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then they got it and they were like.
Because those Instagram.
Aaron Branch
That would have been crazy.
David Bore
That would have been good.
Aaron Branch
That would have been crazy.
David Bore
Those. Those Instagram purchases come in hot and heavy to the door.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
You know, you gotta get it before your lady gets it, so. You don't have to explain.
Langston Kerman
I do. I. I've been. I was gone all week, and I came back to a few purchases, and I was embarrassed to see the packages sitting there.
David Bore
Did she open them or she just.
Langston Kerman
No, no, no. She's very respectful in that way. We don't. We don't open each other's packages, but we do go judge. You have a package.
David Bore
That's. That's how it feels too. Or like it's like, oh, what is your. And then. Because I never buy it around her. I never am, like, looking at shit on the Internet. And then I'm like, oh, should I get this shirt? I'm, like, making moves by myself in the dark, firing it off. And then it comes to the house. And then I'm like, God damn it.
Aaron Branch
That is actually. So you're in the bathroom. The fact that you just bought all.
David Bore
This, but then you're in the bathroom with this new dumbass shirt on that you probably should have vetted like, you stupid furry idiot.
Aaron Branch
What did you think for a couple of wines? You guys are deep into life, man.
David Bore
Come on.
Langston Kerman
Here you go, bro. Yeah, you know, we both Christians.
David Bore
We love the Lord.
Langston Kerman
Love the Lord. Two hawks, a Negro singing our song.
Aaron, we're still talking about the mycelium theory.
Aaron Branch
Yes, yes, yes.
Langston Kerman
And that got me thinking about. And you already brought some of this up about zombies specifically existing in other species.
Aaron Branch
Yes.
Langston Kerman
There are 10 real life cases I found on a place called livescience.com that breaks down 10 real life instances where zombie, like, relationships sort of exist.
David Bore
Are they doing that? Colombian prostitute dust.
Langston Kerman
These are animals, so.
David Bore
Oh, no.
Aaron Branch
So the answer to that is no.
Langston Kerman
Okay, but tell me about that. I want to hear more about anything about what you're talking about.
David Bore
You haven't heard about that? No. That there's like, some, like, you go down to Clown Columbia down there where you're tricking off one of those places.
Aaron Branch
Yeah, of course.
David Bore
They got some that they, like, blow in your face and then they can make you do anything. No, no. Oh, man. We. Okay, different. Different Reddits. But I have.
Aaron Branch
No, but I have seen and it might be Columbia. Of this plant that grows. And like, everyone around, like, in the community knows they can just take that, do the plant, and they get a little high. I wonder where that was.
Langston Kerman
It sounds similar to that, but that's called marijuana, brother.
And that's available pretty much everywhere.
David Bore
I mean, it was northern Californ, California, San Francisco, Trinity County, Humboldt County.
Langston Kerman
You didn't say anything that we haven't heard before.
David Bore
They call it the Emerald Triangle.
Langston Kerman
Apparently, you.
David Bore
You smoke it and then you get a little more chill. What was that? Life seems like it's more bearable, you understand, Reagan?
Because that shit does sound so good when you're hot, man. We high.
Langston Kerman
Music be hitting.
David Bore
It goes. I love being high in an airport and just like, deep in my headphones. Yeah. And they don't know what I'm listening to. It's not what they think.
Aaron Branch
I stopped smoking weed when I was 18, man.
David Bore
How old are you now?
Aaron Branch
Really bad trip. I'm 20. I'm not 29 anymore.
Langston Kerman
I'm 30 now. I just turned 30. Damn.
David Bore
Yeah, we can't relate.
Langston Kerman
That's embarrassing.
Shit, man.
David Bore
Oh, my God.
Aaron Branch
What was crazy, though?
Langston Kerman
What you gonna do?
Aaron Branch
I'm trying to get like you guys, man.
David Bore
We're getting married.
We young, man.
Langston Kerman
We 28.
David Bore
Skibidi, Ohio.
Aaron Branch
But it was weird being so young and, like, doing that, because the trip that I had that messed me up was, I went to hell, brother.
David Bore
That was not weird. It was. I don't know. I don't think that it.
Langston Kerman
I think you got laced, my man.
Aaron Branch
I went to hell. And then goofy son Max from the Goofy movie reached his hand down and pulled me back up to heaven. And after that, I was like, I'm done with this shit.
Langston Kerman
Then I opened my eyes, I got bad news, brother. You did pcp.
David Bore
I think you did PCP while a goofy movie was. You're not the only one. I think a lot of people probably.
Langston Kerman
Did it as a. I don't say this to be judgmental. I'm only wanting you to know that that is not what weed does. And if that was your experience, and I do believe that happened to you.
David Bore
No, I can see it on your face.
Langston Kerman
You should trust those individual who gave it to you because that was. That was laced with.
Aaron Branch
I believe those kids are millionaires now. And I'm still getting chicken tenders from my sets.
David Bore
Are they millionaires?
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Aaron Branch
There's a lot of rich kids where.
Langston Kerman
I grew up with. Damn, they really laced you, dog.
David Bore
That's laced.
Aaron Branch
I went to private school.
David Bore
You don't think that that's what happens with weed, right?
Aaron Branch
I stopped. I don't know, in my mind, like, everyone's just having.
Langston Kerman
Brother, I'm high right now.
I've been high this whole time.
I'm in the room with you. You.
David Bore
Yeah, I still got some leftovers last night.
Langston Kerman
I haven't. I haven't gone. It's really funny in this conversation.
Aaron Branch
I can't do it. I'm too scared to do it.
Langston Kerman
That's okay.
David Bore
You don't have to do it. Was that your first time smoking weed?
Aaron Branch
No, no, no, no. I was like a stoner in high school, and then I was 18. I was like, I'm good on that. I really never picked it up again.
David Bore
Maybe it's better. I don't want to bring you into a habit you don't need. But that's not what the weed's doing anymore.
Aaron Branch
Yeah, Anymore is crazy, though.
David Bore
I mean, even at that point, it's not what it was doing. You just. Something bad happened, you have a bad friend, somebody didn of you like they should have.
Langston Kerman
That's crazy. Yeah, no, it was a bummer. And what was hell like? We're not gonna delete it from it. It was horrible.
Aaron Branch
It was like fire and stuff.
David Bore
But then Max was like.
Aaron Branch
He was a sneaker. Reached his hand down and grabbed me and pulled me up.
David Bore
Me and PJ are up here eating Pizza.
Aaron Branch
It just shows, like, I was literally a kid. I'm like, what was going on in my brain is insane. It was that.
David Bore
Wow.
Aaron Branch
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
No, Roxanne was sexy as fuck to me as a boy.
David Bore
Yeah, of course she was, Porter.
Langston Kerman
Is that what you saw?
David Bore
I don't like the way you said.
Langston Kerman
It, but, yeah, I knew she was not white, but she wasn't black.
David Bore
She was Afro Caribbean, I thought.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I thought it. But her dad threw me off a little bit because he had that.
David Bore
They always do.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, he had that weird, like, kind of military cut.
Aaron Branch
He did. But he has studied this film.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
It was the first film as a child that I felt related to.
Aaron Branch
Do you know why there's a conspiracy theory as to why.
Langston Kerman
Why actually that Goofy is black?
David Bore
Yeah, we've all.
Aaron Branch
But there's a reason why that movie made such a difference in the black community. Because I was always wondering. No, it's not that. I always wondered it. In my mind. I was like, why is it? Did some research, come to find out. It's because obviously, like, the 90s was, like, Disney's, like, Golden Door.
David Bore
You brought this Atlanta episode to me.
Aaron Branch
No, that to me, actually, was what sparked my curiosity because it was always, like, me and my cousin's, like, favorite movie.
Langston Kerman
And I was like, why?
David Bore
Why is that?
Aaron Branch
And then they made that, and I was like, so this is a universal experience. Come to find out. It's because in the 90s, Disney had, like, banger. Banger classics, right? We had, like, the Lion King and then we had, like, Aladdin.
Langston Kerman
We had, like.
David Bore
When you say we.
Aaron Branch
Little Little Mermaid. We.
Langston Kerman
I've heard tell of them.
David Bore
I'm more of a Lilo and Stitch.
Aaron Branch
Exactly, exactly.
David Bore
More of a Tarzan means family. Yeah, exactly. Frozen.
Aaron Branch
Frozen.
David Bore
Yeah. Let it go.
Langston Kerman
I just saw Elio.
Aaron Branch
But they were making so much money from these movies, and what they decided to do was the DVD market, speaking of which, was going crazy, right? So they're like, what if we made, like, cheap sequels that were just straight to on demand? Meaning, like DVDs, VHS, that we could just push out, that you could just buy at the store for, like, a fraction of the cost instead of going to the movies. And the Goofy movie, both movies were a part of that program.
Langston Kerman
You're saying it wasn't a theatrical release?
Aaron Branch
It was not. It was all.
David Bore
No, Goofy was a theatrical release. I saw it at theaters.
Aaron Branch
Well, the amount of sequels they were making were to be able to make it to where you had it, literally. Oh, it went to the black community faster is what I'm trying to say.
Langston Kerman
Because of how every Disney sequel that I remember as a kid was straight to video.
David Bore
Yeah. Like Lion King one and a half.
Aaron Branch
Exactly.
Langston Kerman
Aladdin two and.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Aladdin three.
David Bore
What?
Langston Kerman
There's a Far's Return is Aladdin two and then King of Thieves is Aladdin three. That's when his dad shows up.
David Bore
His dad is a King of Thieves?
Aaron Branch
Quite literally, bro.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, it might be Prince of Thieves, but one more. The other Aladdin 3.
David Bore
Okay.
Aaron Branch
But all of those movies were being made and they were pushed out. So like a lot of us saw them at daycare or like a lot of us saw them like at after school programs because they were just cheap movies they would just put on in the background. And that movie, King of Thieves, that movie in particular struck a nerve for it.
David Bore
Well, I also like the Goofy movie because I was a big fan of Goof Troop, the show I loved Goof Troop. Goof Troop, Yeah. What is it?
Aaron Branch
That story is. That story is incredible, man.
Langston Kerman
No, they really. They really did their thing and then.
David Bore
They single dad trying to make it.
Langston Kerman
They stopped doing that thing immediately after.
Aaron Branch
Yeah, they were like, we're done with this.
David Bore
Dark was for black people too. Right?
Aaron Branch
But that was for dark skinned dangerous. That was for dark skinned dudes.
David Bore
Yeah. Okay. Okay.
A lot of purple. A lot of purple in there. Duck wing duck.
Langston Kerman
Oh, man.
Aaron Branch
Free of colorism to Disney.
David Bore
That's the crazy. I've never heard anybody say dark wing duck whisper for dark skin dudes. Is it cousin name was Dark?
Aaron Branch
No.
David Bore
I don't know what it is.
Now. Now let's get dangerous sounds up. Now it's now it feels conspiratorial. That's. That's his song. Dark.
Dangerous.
Turn on the flash.
Langston Kerman
There are 10 examples of parasites or fungi taking over the bodies of animals in the animal kingdom. There's a parasite that can put pill bugs in deliberate danger that basically will like pill bugs in these roly polys. Roly polys. That's what we called them growing up. Some people called them potato bugs.
David Bore
I've heard that as well.
Langston Kerman
I don't care for that one bit. But roly polies as I knew them can apparently be taken over by a parasite. They eat bird poop. And sometimes this parasite will get into bird poop as a way of like, I guess feeding itself. And then the bug eats the bird poop, gets the parasite inside of it, and then that parasite grows inside and multiplies inside of the roly poly. Basically makes it do a bunch of shit. It doesn't want to do. And then when it does dies, the bird eats it and it goes back into the bird. But it'll, like, make it go where a bird is, like, guide it towards its death.
David Bore
Oh, so it's ultimately okay. Okay. It wants to go back to the bird from once it came.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, It, I guess, eats in the bird and then they can, like, sustain themselves in the bug until they get back inside the bird. But dude, yeah. Yeah.
David Bore
Nature is not. Well, I don't feel no kind of way when people are like, I care about all natural. It's like, all natural is savagery.
Aaron Branch
It's trying to kill you.
David Bore
You need a run. You need to get some of this artificial. We could all live longer.
Aaron Branch
Eat a McDonald's hamburger.
David Bore
Yeah. Smoke a cigarette. Smoke a menthol cigarette.
Langston Kerman
There are barnacles that apparently can turn a crab into, like, a crib for their babies that, like, the barnacles will grow inside of the crab or let their babies grow until they. And then they get to do it again when they find another crab to implant themselves in. There are whatchamacallit. There's a parasite that pushes into wolves, apparently to make riskier decisions.
David Bore
See, that's what I'm scared of, is the wolf one.
Langston Kerman
So this one's weird.
David Bore
Is that what a lone wolf is? No, a lone wolf.
Langston Kerman
That's interesting.
Aaron Branch
Their demeanor.
David Bore
Yeah.
Lone wolf is just an alpha.
There's just a guy with no friends who's making up personality traits to be the reason that maybe he just kind of smells funny. I'm a lone wolf. Pack of one. I'm a one pack.
Aaron Branch
That's funny.
Langston Kerman
So apparently there are wolves wolf strings in Yellowstone park that basically. How am I reading this single celled organism that basically reproduces in cats. Right. And they have the potential to just reproduce in cats. They're not necessarily taking over the cats, but they do cause a disease inside of the cats. But they believe that wolves were then infected when they were, like, interacting with a. A cougar somewhere out in the world. Yeah.
Absolutely. That's what I'm talking about. And once they infected the wolves, they are more likely to exhibit risky behavior.
Aaron Branch
Oh, my God.
David Bore
That's scary.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, they basically turn them into like, fucking jackass wolves.
David Bore
Hitting each other in the nuts, jumping off of shit, riding around in shopping carts.
Aaron Branch
That is terrifying, man.
David Bore
Yeah, that's the worst.
Aaron Branch
That is horrible.
Langston Kerman
And then the one that I think is most important to talk about and really connects to the larger theory at hand is these ants you talked about the ants and specifically it comes from this. I ain't gonna even pretend it.
Aaron Branch
It's so complicated.
Langston Kerman
I don't know the exact.
David Bore
Sorry.
Aaron Branch
That's not funny.
Langston Kerman
That's not cool, man.
David Bore
This gonna be a darkly duck thing again. He's like dark skin.
Langston Kerman
Guys look.
David Bore
Dark skinned. Love Gaddafi.
No, when I was growing up they just look, they just don't like them.
Aaron Branch
Warren SAP Gaddafi.
Orgy.
David Bore
Yeah, the color black.
Langston Kerman
So this fungus infects ants and uses chemical signals to basically direct the ant away from their nest to make them like not a soldier ant anymore, but just like a ant that serves the fungus. And they'll like basically keep moving around doing fungus shit, dropping more and more seeds off whatever until eventually it like grows so large inside of the ant that it bursts them and becomes, you know, the just a big ass mushroom.
Aaron Branch
So fungus is out here doing like Weekend at Bernie's with all these different creatures.
David Bore
Yeah.
Aaron Branch
And just doing all these different tasks and just using the host body until it's like I have no.
Langston Kerman
Now this is where it gets nasty for us. Okay. Is because this fungus is also something that, that scientists are studying because it has like potential to increase moisture metabolisms and has like uses they think as a way of like a weight loss thing or like a health beneficial thing. Right.
Aaron Branch
And they're already chest like that was I the name Cordyceps, I think it was called also. And that's when they use those.
Langston Kerman
So they are studying that stuff. And my fear, as is always my fear is not as much what you're theorizing of like. Oh, the mushroom duckling.
David Bore
Duck, yeah.
Aaron Branch
That really struck a chord with you.
David Bore
It got me back. It got me back bad. I'm fuming.
Langston Kerman
But my fear is not that the mushrooms have already taken us over through ingestion, but that we are gonna fuck around, tinker with these chemicals enough and create in a lab a way for these mushrooms to become these sort of like violent takeover machines that they can't currently be. They can't. We can't ingest anything according to the documents. Exactly. We can't currently ingest anything that is parasitic enough to like fully take us over.
Aaron Branch
Because right now you like so like.
David Bore
Like fungus or otherwise, there's nothing we. There's no parasite we can have.
Langston Kerman
We don't have any evidence of like zombie.
David Bore
So what is that? Prostitute powder?
Langston Kerman
I bet, I bet there are things that can allow someone to control you.
David Bore
Okay.
Langston Kerman
But I don't think that there's anything that like where the fungus itself is like moving our limbs type Shit.
David Bore
Okay, right. But because they're not that like sentient or whatever.
Langston Kerman
Exactly.
Aaron Branch
But see, that's also another conspiracy where it's. It's like we. The way that we classify intelligence is so simplified by the fact of like, I have a brain, therefore I know everything. But I'm like, we can already tell even just with the evidence you've just shown. There's clearly intelligent in beings that do not have a brain.
David Bore
And intelligence, I feel like sometimes is like really lateral and we don't look at like a forward. Like the most intelligent things are the things that live the longest. Right?
Langston Kerman
Yeah, Cockroaches.
David Bore
I thought it was those Greenland sharks.
Langston Kerman
I mean, Greenland sharks live a really long time for sure, but in the span of like not humanity of the earth. It's like fungus. It is.
David Bore
So those things are smarter than us. Like, yeah, okay, we get. We got diet soda, but like how long we last, right?
Aaron Branch
Yeah, yeah.
David Bore
Black ice was 55.
Langston Kerman
It's low.
Aaron Branch
It's low, man.
David Bore
Yeah.
We get really dark. But we're here right now, bro. This is time. We here right now.
Aaron Branch
Let's get health screenings, blood tests, watch a little Dark Wing duck.
David Bore
Don't. Don't point at me. No, don't point at me.
Aaron Branch
No, I'm trying to change the narrative now.
Langston Kerman
Nah, you've been nasty.
David Bore
This guy.
Langston Kerman
I do think. I think what often scares me as it relates to conspiracy theory is less of what the earth is planning for us and more what we are planning for us via the earth. Like it is humans fucking with things that often turn things into something nasty. And I don't imagine that mushrooms, fungi are necessarily like raging against us the way last of us would present. Or even in your theory of them already taking over. I don't know.
Aaron Branch
Or it's just being present within the body already.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. I do think that there might be craving.
Aaron Branch
You might that craving that you might have. You're like, why am I crazy Pizza Hut at this? You know what I mean? Like, yeah, those small things too. That's what I'm saying. Could be a fungus that's already within you that you have to feed the host. You have to feed the like all these different things where I'm like, it would make sense if they. That are already present. And certain actions. It's not my day to day, but certain actions are things.
David Bore
Sometimes you do something crazy. Yes.
Langston Kerman
And there are examples of that. Like tapeworms are that exactly right. Like you get a tapeworm in your stomach and it consumes so much of the food. That you eat, that you find yourself having these massive cravings that, you know you're being malnourished and fucking taken over by this giant thing.
Aaron Branch
And I was hotep for three months, okay? A lot of people don't know this.
Langston Kerman
About me, all right?
Aaron Branch
I was hotep for three months.
David Bore
What's three months?
Aaron Branch
It was during COVID I think everybody.
David Bore
That don't even count, man.
Langston Kerman
Come on, man.
David Bore
We all got hotel. We all made some. We all made some sourdough.
Aaron Branch
But one of the things I remember.
David Bore
We were inside, there was riots. Like, of course you were gonna get.
Langston Kerman
Activated the second they told us black people couldn't get it.
David Bore
Oh, man.
Langston Kerman
I was.
David Bore
I have a lot of statements I need to take back, man. I was talking crazy.
Langston Kerman
I called my father with bad energy.
Yeah, you be safe out there, man.
We'd hate for something to happen to you. I myself am not worried.
David Bore
But one.
Aaron Branch
Of the things I remember reading within my hotep literature was the idea of pamphlets. Pamphlets. Exactly. Six pamphlets that I was given.
Langston Kerman
That I was given Bobby Hammett.
David Bore
If it is a book, it's poorly constructed. You ever got one of those super black book, and you're like, why is this not made like a book is made?
Aaron Branch
Why am I reading right to left?
Langston Kerman
Why are the edges not lining up?
David Bore
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why is the back of this an ebony cover?
Aaron Branch
It's a jet magazine. Why do I have this? But the thing is, is that it was to space out eating and drinking, Meaning that if you were to eat something right before you drink water or any liquids, you want to wait about 15 minutes. Until then, you actually start to digest food because of the potential of fungus growing in the body.
David Bore
Whoa.
Langston Kerman
And the water would feed said fungus.
Aaron Branch
Or the water plus the food mixed.
Langston Kerman
Up together would then create a fungus.
Aaron Branch
To grow in the body.
Fungus, yes.
David Bore
And that's the thing, is so many hoteps are buff that you believe them about physical fitness.
Aaron Branch
A thousand for 20%.
David Bore
They're like.
Aaron Branch
I'm like, what are you doing? Like potatoes.
David Bore
I think they might be the strongest radicalized group, which maybe I don't want to say in case the government's watching.
Langston Kerman
I think that's fair. I think. Powerful. Pound for pound, they are big and buff. I worry that that farmland strength is still. It doesn't appear as buff, but it is a threat. Physical threat. Yeah.
David Bore
Oh, working strong, you mean?
Aaron Branch
That's interesting.
Langston Kerman
I think a motherfucker that lifts bales of hay all day is the type of strong that can manage against a big old Jack toe tap.
Aaron Branch
Dude, you've really thought about this.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, no, I do want us to win the war if at all possible. And so I really got to, like, look at the numbers and start calculating.
David Bore
I do think there's a lot less rural working strong guys than there ever was before.
Langston Kerman
Oh, that's.
Aaron Branch
You think so?
David Bore
I been in a rural town. They're not all farming, let me tell you that. You think more than, like, sitting around spinning a glass dick?
Langston Kerman
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's real. I think farming is a dying industry.
Aaron Branch
Exactly.
David Bore
Like, even in rural areas, it's like most of those people aren't farmers.
Langston Kerman
And the. Even when you. You have a farm, you are. You are paying below. Below minimum wage to a bunch of people who don't look like you to do the actual work that otherwise farmers were doing.
David Bore
Right? Yeah.
Langston Kerman
That's a fair point.
Aaron Branch
I have something I want to say.
David Bore
Yeah.
Aaron Branch
And this made me think about this also. I've never said this out loud. Well, I said out loud to my girlfriend.
Langston Kerman
Okay.
David Bore
She a dark winged duck.
Aaron Branch
She's Filipino.
Langston Kerman
Okay. Okay.
David Bore
Closer to our side than yours.
Aaron Branch
She walked dark wing duck out of.
David Bore
Chippendale.
When there's danger.
Aaron Branch
But did you guys see the substance? This. The list made me think about this, the substance.
David Bore
No, My gross told me she thought I wouldn't like it. She said she thought it would make me angry.
Aaron Branch
I would argue it might be the great. Have you seen it?
Langston Kerman
I haven't seen it. I was put off by the amount of gore I was warned about.
Aaron Branch
You don't like gore?
Langston Kerman
I'm not big on gore, so it is very gory.
David Bore
Are you a big gore guy?
Aaron Branch
Yes and no. Not gore. I like thrilling movies, though.
David Bore
Okay.
Aaron Branch
But that one did have. Especially at the end. That was a lot of gore.
Langston Kerman
I heard it was crazy.
Aaron Branch
But the movie itself is about the idea of kind of being within. You take over a young body and then you are now a young person. And then you pop out and now you're this old. The same plot as the Nutty Professor. Watch that movie. And I was like. I started laughing halfway through the film, and my girlfriend was like, shh.
Langston Kerman
What are you laughing?
Aaron Branch
I was like, this is just the Nutty Professor. Anyone that has seen this movie, I want to see if anyone else had thought that they took the Nutty Professor.
David Bore
Comment, comment, comment. If you think the substance is the same as the Nutty professor, it is. Don't forget the acting feat Eddie Murphy pulled off.
Aaron Branch
Incredible film.
Langston Kerman
And comment on who plays the part of Reggie in the subs.
David Bore
Yo, who is the substance wreck?
Aaron Branch
I'm telling you, dog.
David Bore
Who's like, hold up, hold up. Is that Demi Moore?
Gary, your back so flat.
Aaron Branch
It's insane. I literally left the movie, went on Twitter. I found one tweet about it. One random person that. That me and him are on the same frequency. For whatever reason. He was like, this is. And I. Yeah, I believe it.
David Bore
I will. I think a lot of movies are the Nutty Professor.
Langston Kerman
I will say the.
David Bore
The. The substance.
Aaron Branch
Yes.
Langston Kerman
Jamie Foxx said this in that new Eddie Murphy documentary. And it's something I've maintained for a long time. I think that it is a. A shame.
David Bore
I think basketball should. Should be played new.
Langston Kerman
Great. Those pants off if you want to hoop with me. I do think that Eddie Murphy should have won an Oscar for the Nutty Professor.
David Bore
Yeah, man.
Aaron Branch
The Nutty Professor.
David Bore
Nick. No, bro. This is the only time I will truly cop to my age.
Aaron Branch
He should have an Oscar.
David Bore
I was in Atlanta that summer, and we saw the Nutty professor in theaters that summer in Atlanta. There was an Olympic Games going on. This was bigger. I've never seen anybody do that in a movie. People were like.
Langston Kerman
It's never been replicated.
David Bore
It felt like people were going to die.
Aaron Branch
No.
David Bore
Yeah. Like the table scene with Hercules. Hercules. It felt like people were not gonna make it out of the.
Langston Kerman
And you have to understand that this was. Before you could recirculate that experience. You had to go to a movie to be able to have that feeling again.
David Bore
We had to wait in line. We waited in line like the line was around the corner to see the night.
Langston Kerman
Niggas were seeing that movie multiple times over and over because that was.
David Bore
Are Titanic.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. It just was so big that.
Aaron Branch
And John Q. John Q had a similar thing.
David Bore
No, man. No, no.
Aaron Branch
John Q is in a American class.
I'm not saying that. It's all the same thing. Denzel Washington, Eddie Murphy.
Langston Kerman
Are you kidding me?
David Bore
No. What are we even talking about?
Langston Kerman
Aaron, you're sick.
David Bore
You're going crazy. This has been such a good interview. Why you melt down at the end.
Langston Kerman
Eddie Murphy did the impossible.
Aaron Branch
But it's an incredible film. Keep going. I'm trying to.
Langston Kerman
It's an incredible film. I like it a lot. It doesn't do what Nutty professor did. Nutty Professor. Nutty professor is a feat just in. Just in his willingness to put on the makeup every day is a big enough feat that you go award this, man. Yeah, exactly. He did the impossible. Nobody will ever do it again.
Aaron Branch
No, it's an amazing film.
David Bore
The actual. I think about the mechanics of having to shoot that scene at the table. Like they had to shoot it with every character I know and then sit ins. And then like, I guess they would play it back. Like the timing on every.
Langston Kerman
It's just crazy.
David Bore
I'm lame.
Aaron Branch
I will say I'm lame in that sense because my favorite movie is John Q.
Langston Kerman
Wait, Norbit.
Aaron Branch
I love Norbit. Oh, man, I love Norbit so much. And I. But start off, I will say no, it's one of the funniest movies. I love it so much. I Love Nutty Professor 2. Do not get me wrong, my uncle.
David Bore
Professor 2, the clubs.
Aaron Branch
My uncle who did not like me, took me to the movies to go see The Nutty Professor 2.
Langston Kerman
He tried to fix you.
David Bore
Also. The Nutty Professor Professor 2 is not the cloud.
Aaron Branch
I know I'm saying Janet Jackson, but I'm not being like, I wasn't alive when the first Nutty Professor, I think so that's also why. So the second one had more of an impact than me, I think. But even then.
Langston Kerman
We gonna take another break.
We just going. We gonna take a break, man.
David Bore
We'll be back.
Langston Kerman
Aaron Branch, I'm sorry. When my mom is over.
David Bore
I'm sorry.
Sophie Cunningham
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David Bore
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I'm short. I'm bald. I can't get any hoes. I've been fighting my entire life and I won't stop fighting.
Aaron Branch
Fight the good fight, brother.
David Bore
Man, this has been fun. They've been going through it.
Langston Kerman
They have been going through it, but it seems tough. But I bet things are going to turn around soon. They. They invented a solution. What?
Aaron Branch
What A toupee.
David Bore
The white ones did.
Aaron Branch
It's been out for a while.
Langston Kerman
There, there's a. There apparently is now. Well, first of all, I believe it's USC or ucla. I can't remember which one. But they are developing a product that apparently can regrow hair like a pill bomb. I think it's some sort of like cream situation. And then additionally, I've been seeing a bunch of articles about a. Basically like a lab out of Taiwan that also has developed like a product or some sort of situation that can grow your shit back in like 20 days. That's.
David Bore
That kind of seems like it never seemed like that hard of a thing to figure out to me.
Langston Kerman
What do you think has been keeping them from doing it?
David Bore
I think we just had other shit going on and now we're enough. There's enough money and like enough people are getting like cosmetic surgeries that it's like, you know what I mean? Like, it's like the stigma's down enough that like, look, think about how many men we know who've done it. Right.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
And like guys aren't even lying about it no more.
Langston Kerman
No. Yeah. They'll tell you straight up.
David Bore
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Langston Kerman
That's when he got my fixed. Yeah.
David Bore
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I, I don't. I'm. I'm dark skinned. I, I don't think I would. But I never was worried about going bald.
Langston Kerman
I think if I went bald, I just might be bald.
David Bore
Same.
Aaron Branch
But both of you guys can rock it though.
David Bore
Yeah.
Aaron Branch
I'm like, I'm using my imagination.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Aaron Branch
It.
David Bore
It would be fine. I have short, short hair anyways.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, Yeah. I, I'd. I'd make peace with it. I would have to like get jacked a little bit.
David Bore
But you have to get stronger to.
Aaron Branch
Counteract because when this is low, this has to get big.
David Bore
Yeah. You know what? Age, higher teeth.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. Also I think when. When light skinned men are bald, they can look sick faster than dark skinned men.
David Bore
That's true.
Aaron Branch
Take right there.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
I never thought common looked sick. No.
Langston Kerman
But common was. He looks swole. He made sure you knew he was a little bit jacked.
David Bore
Yeah, that's true.
Aaron Branch
Plus his voice, like I'm not even.
David Bore
It's a deep voice. Yeah, it's a deep voice.
Aaron Branch
It's really calming.
Langston Kerman
The goatee does a lot of work for him as well.
Aaron Branch
Also, when you do spoke poetry, it's almost kind of demanded that you're a little bit bald. It's like expected.
Langston Kerman
Ball dreads sometimes combined.
David Bore
Yeah. Oh, the bald dread seems tough when it's like. But it starts back. Yeah, that seems.
Langston Kerman
Or when it's like you got dreads but there's big space in between.
David Bore
Oh, yeah. That's the harder one, I think, when there's like a lot. Like it's just skin.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
Like you got little. There's like little townships.
Aaron Branch
It's really crazy.
David Bore
But there's nothing.
Langston Kerman
There's a lot of fif.
David Bore
There's no connective suburban tissue.
Aaron Branch
I'll go back to my home.
Langston Kerman
Church.
Aaron Branch
Back home. And like it's always. It's still the same people that are still going there. Same people in the choir. But all the dudes that had dreads back in the 2000s still have it. But you're seeing those bald spots appear.
Langston Kerman
I think it would be downtown. Some downtown.
Aaron Branch
They're not letting it go, bro.
David Bore
That would.
Aaron Branch
They're there to stay.
David Bore
I think it would be the hardest to go bald as a dreadhead.
Aaron Branch
Yeah, that's.
David Bore
That would be really.
Langston Kerman
You've committed too much.
David Bore
You got a whole lifestyle style. You got all these drums in your apartment now.
Aaron Branch
Gym bays.
David Bore
You bought all this. What you doing? All this incest.
Aaron Branch
Gotta let them go, dog. It's time to grow up.
David Bore
You got all these knit polos. Like what are we going to do?
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
You convinced yourself those essential oils were doing something.
David Bore
Yeah. You've been to every goddamn reggae festival in your.
Aaron Branch
That's a movie right there.
David Bore
Reggae festival?
Langston Kerman
No.
That could be a movie starring Tom Green.
Aaron Branch
No, but like a dude that has to let go of his dreads.
David Bore
Oh man, that would be sad.
Aaron Branch
It's a coming of age movie from someone in their 60s.
Langston Kerman
Oh, this is Like a serious drama film.
Aaron Branch
Yeah, it's called How Jerrel Got His Groove Back.
David Bore
For some reason, I feel like that movie with a man going to Jamaica to get a young woman. People don't like that. Nearly. You flip it around.
Aaron Branch
I didn't even think.
David Bore
Think about that. Yeah, he's just like down at the resort, like do your work here.
From Cleveland.
Right?
Langston Kerman
Cuz she wasn't even Jamaican. We're just doing that.
David Bore
No, we're just doing that.
Langston Kerman
That's so funny.
Aaron Branch
That's really funny.
David Bore
Tay Diggs was Jamaican in that.
Langston Kerman
Tay Diggs was Jamaican.
David Bore
How old was he supposed to be? Cuz I feel like the same age now. He's the same.
Langston Kerman
He was like 20 something, I think. And she was like meant to be like 50.
David Bore
Okay. Cuz it was a book, right? It was a. Terry.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, it was a book. Oh, I didn't know it was a.
Aaron Branch
Book my grandma had right there in the bathroom.
Langston Kerman
Okay.
David Bore
In the bathroom.
Langston Kerman
That was. That was pooping literature, apparently.
Aaron Branch
I remember. It's right there in the corner.
I'm sick.
David Bore
Listen, I'm just saying it was a steamy concept.
Aaron Branch
Dark wigs coming out, dog.
David Bore
No, that's not what that is. That's what he means. That's what he thinks. I'm just trying to say his grandma wanted to have a good time. I'm sorry. She was raising a family. Clearly she could have some back bathroom time. Think about Taye Diggs.
Langston Kerman
We have a voicemail that we simply must. We must listen to. We can play it now.
Voicemail Caller
All right, so I'm gonna say this. Y' all keep wondering why people do what they do in this voicemail when that's the fucking message. That is so crazy. All right, anyway, yeah, that's true. My. I can't say my mama told me this because we're not really on speaking terms, but I'm convinced that all these black focus dating gurus, femininity coaches, so self proclaimed image consultants are the FBI, the FBI, the CIA, they're whatever other three letter organization that tries to control what black people think of themselves and how they treat each other. I'm pretty sure I heard somewhere and I'm sure it's valid that the Mormons were like sponsoring like the trad wife content on TikTok and Instagram and all these other places.
And we know historically the FBI did try to get in the way of movements and add psyops to how people think and how people treat each other. And it's in the media and all these things and I truly believe that they did not want black people.
Forming strong bonds relationally or on a community level.
Outside of capitalism and white patriarchy. And so they paid idiots like Shira7 and Kevin. Kevin Samuels and Freshen. So I don't know where the dick is from. They're in Canada. Right. But whatever. Maybe they did.
Langston Kerman
Let's pause this, right?
Voicemail Caller
All these weirdo DJ academics.
David Bore
He did.
Aaron Branch
That's a good point.
Langston Kerman
Though I will say that the ways that these people have infiltrated does feel nefarious.
David Bore
Agreed, agreed.
Aaron Branch
It's a tale as old as time, though.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Aaron Branch
Like, we know within the Black Panther movement in Chicago, right, they had FBI, CIA informants infiltrating social groups on the.
David Bore
South side of Chicago and in Los Angeles, right?
Aaron Branch
Yes.
David Bore
They killed Bunchy Carter. He was like 19. Yeah, but, yeah, that. I mean, we know, but I'm just saying, you do think that the idea of. That these things have come into the community in a way that seems super destructive to the idea of what a black family is.
Langston Kerman
Right.
David Bore
Which is kind of always been under attack.
Langston Kerman
Right. And I think the. The idea of a cam. Kevin Samuels in particular, or people like that, both pitching, I can make you more family, presentable. Ready. While simultaneously undercutting people who probably were heading in the right direction for their lives. It feels very, like, intentional in a certain way. And the way that nigga died does feel a little suspicious.
Aaron Branch
He was finally being like, you know what? Everybody's a high kneed individual.
Like, hot, you're done, man. Things like that.
Langston Kerman
They're like, kevin, remember our Kevin?
You starting to sound like Martin Y.
David Bore
Get back to asking how much they weigh.
Fuck you, guy.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I do start to go like, well, it does feel very intentional that we get this upsurge of people telling us how to behave. But it also is weird to me how many people buy into these things despite no one I actually know. Really being bought into these things.
Aaron Branch
That does feel odd, though. I mean, that's the bubble we're in.
David Bore
Though I will say there were more dudes I knew, more dudes than I care to admit who were really into.
Langston Kerman
Kevin Samuels, really into them, or just.
David Bore
Like, fascinated with fascinated. I guess fascinated is more than people, if I'm thinking about it. It was more fascinating than people looking to him as a guru.
Langston Kerman
That's how I feel is I definitely have people in my life who followed Kevin Samuels, but I think it was the way that I follow some sick shit that I just want to be like, well, it's entertaining to Me, I.
Aaron Branch
Think that might have been more younger people, though, because I will say, like, at least with my own experience with Kevin, I. My mom's last boyfriend.
Langston Kerman
My mom's last boyfriend, Samuels.
Aaron Branch
Like, me and my friends thought it was funny. This dude is like, what is he talking about? This is crazy. Like, again. And also, we're comedians, just trying to be aware of what's happening. Then I go home, I go to my mom's boyfriend's house, and he's watching this.
David Bore
Always a fun place to go, but he horrible.
Aaron Branch
So he's literally on the couch watching it. And my mom is just sitting there. As in, like, this is like dogma.
David Bore
And I'm like, that's what they watch.
Aaron Branch
That's what he's watching now. He's like, 65, 64.
David Bore
Does he know Kevin Samuels is dead?
Aaron Branch
Yeah, of course now. But I'm saying this was like, before he died.
Langston Kerman
He cried that day.
David Bore
Last time he cried since the towers fell.
Aaron Branch
No, but it's like he's straight face watching it, like, consuming the content. This guy knows what's up. And I'm like, mom, leave. This is not it. That's how this man thinks. I'm like, that's problematic. But I do think it was that demographic more taking it seriously, and then a younger generation, probably, like 40 and down, being like, this guy's wild.
Langston Kerman
I do think that.
David Bore
I think it was for kids, if kids are old people to believe in and then everybody else to marvel and.
Langston Kerman
But I do think that it's not as much the existence of a fan base. I think everybody who sort of reaches a certain scale does accumulate some types of fans. But I'm saying that the rate at which we do discovered, this person doesn't feel honest to the actual experience.
Aaron Branch
It feels conspiratorial.
Langston Kerman
It feels like they saw a nasty thing. Yeah. And then they were like, pump it out.
Aaron Branch
Exactly.
Langston Kerman
And it's. To me, the conspiracy feels less about, like, Kevin having a negotiation with the FBI and being like, I will be an informant for you. I don't think they need that anymore. I think they can just find a nasty motherfucker and be like, yeah, there's.
David Bore
A bunch of people to do it all over the Internet. Right. It's just full of people willing to do that shit.
Aaron Branch
I would say even on the right wing, too, on top of that. Oh, yeah, the right wing. I would say, like, more on there.
David Bore
Once this shit falls through, where do you think we're going?
Aaron Branch
That's what I'm saying.
David Bore
Because we are let down the liberals.
Aaron Branch
Want to know where are we going.
David Bore
To let down the liberals? Soon enough I, I think about how and then we're the fraternal Hodge twins.
Langston Kerman
Strike that from the record. I want that stricken from the record. I don't like how that felt.
Aaron Branch
But I mean, that's the problem though because I'm like all these like right wing, like pundits especially. I went like on a deep dive like last week because I was like, I don't pay enough attention to right wing media enough. I know, but just to know what they're talking about because it's just, it's a weird time. There's a lot happening.
David Bore
I find it even more convoluted than is like, well, you can watch CNN and be like, this is biased, but it's not necessarily that stupid.
Aaron Branch
No, these people are lying.
David Bore
But then you watch that shit and you're like, they're lying and this is.
Aaron Branch
Stupid and people are just taking that in.
David Bore
That's my take on it.
Aaron Branch
All ages are taking this in and I'm like, there's just so many media companies that are just backing these people. There's so many packs, it's so convoluted that it feels like they're trying to actually pay. Someone is paying to divide this country.
Langston Kerman
And I think it doesn't even have to be like that mysterious. We individually pay money to be, to get more views on things. You, you advertise, you do things to be able to like pump out when you're going on tour or when you want this, this thing to be seen by more people. They're just doing it on a bigger scale and they have a bigger budget for making sure that like X and X is being sold to a community of people. And yeah, maybe you're sober enough and healthy enough not to buy into it, but if you watch enough Kevin Samuels videos, you start to become endeared to versions of those conversations.
David Bore
Yeah, you do have to watch that whenever you, because you start hate watching it and then it starts to make sense just, just because the amount of.
Langston Kerman
It that you're consuming, it's just what I, I, it is part of my routine now.
David Bore
Yeah, yeah.
Langston Kerman
And now, you know, nine times out of ten, he sounds crazy to me, but that one out of ten, he's onto something. And I now he's not an unreasonable person.
Aaron Branch
And it was the same thing with the Fresh and Fit podcast also in the same way, like all those different, different kind of like tearing down women in a place of like really going Back to, like, the old school mindset of looking to them. To me, fresh and fit. Melt felt more like, for the youth.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Aaron Branch
If like, that's what they wanted to.
David Bore
It was for the youth. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
Those guys are tough because it's like, how do you watch that? And I think those guys are losers.
Langston Kerman
That's. That's always.
David Bore
You gotta be a kid.
Aaron Branch
I used to live with a 21 year old. Exactly. That was like, yo, fresh and fit. Like, I was like, bro, but you.
David Bore
He didn't like. And I'm not trying.
Aaron Branch
I had to intervene.
David Bore
I'm not trying to directly be out beefing with podcast. But, yeah, look at those guys and be like, this is not.
Aaron Branch
No, they're lame.
David Bore
They're.
Aaron Branch
They're lame.
David Bore
How do you not look at that and be like, they're lying.
Aaron Branch
How many bodies you got? How many bodies you got? It's like, what are we doing here?
David Bore
I know girls don't like, and that's cool. It's whatever.
Langston Kerman
He ain't fresh and he ain't fit.
David Bore
I don't understand. I think one might be.
Langston Kerman
One is fit, and neither one of them are fresh.
David Bore
Fresh. Yeah, exactly. You smell like.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Aaron Branch
You smell like Versace, Aventus.
Langston Kerman
Nothing about this feels like a person I. I could begin to admire.
David Bore
No, no, no. Or take seriously.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
Or want to hear what they say.
Aaron Branch
Yeah, exactly.
Langston Kerman
Let's finish this voicemail.
Voicemail Caller
Right. All these weirdo DJ academics, like, I'm convinced they. They influence both those creators to get both black and women, black men and black women to be more antagonistic towards each other. And they were all single and desperate and mad at the world, and then we're going to kiss, like, the white.
Aaron Branch
Man'S ass and have, like, all.
Voicemail Caller
Well, anyway, what I'm trying to say is them niggas are psyops from the government. That's what. That's what I've deduced. All right, bye.
Aaron Branch
You better deduce he deduced it.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. This doesn't feel that far off to me.
David Bore
I think. I think the sat or the sad part to me feels like it's not even that they're fully psyops as much as they're doing it themselves. And then it could just be put in position.
Aaron Branch
That is a very sad reality of.
David Bore
What could be sad part is, like, very. It's not like the government came and was like, do this. These losers were already doing this. Government was like, let me just move this around.
Langston Kerman
I'll look the other way.
Aaron Branch
Yeah, for sure.
David Bore
Because, like, do you guys Believe in algorithm control? Do you believe, think there's like, someone who can control the algorithm in a way?
Aaron Branch
Like, like, it depends, man. I, I, I go back and forth on that, but I think it makes the most sense for it.
David Bore
Yeah. Because if it's not, then it's deified.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
Right. If it's not, then we, then the algorithm is a God.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. You can, I mean, you can look at the numbers on videos and see the difference of like, something getting 24, 25 likes on one person's page versus 25 likes on another person's page and what ultimately becomes the amount of quote unquote views on that thing. And it is just all in some ways kind of made up.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
It's like even with equivalent amount of shares and likes and reactions and all the things, if you are popular, your number will be larger than somebody who is not popular.
Aaron Branch
A thousand percent.
Langston Kerman
And that to me feels very intentional in that we have chosen you as this scale of numbers that sort of represent your worth and this your scale down here because you have this many followers. I don't think that that's accidental and I don't think that that's like the algorithm just deciding for itself. I think people are being like, well, we want more engagement. The best way to do it is with somebody who has more followers and more sort of active, at least possibility of getting that engagement.
Aaron Branch
And, and do you think just to go off of like, that thought, do you think it goes off of also, like, a narrative that specific person is pushing out, even if they haven't even been contacted by some CIA or like, FBI representative? Right. Do you think that they're being like, oh, this person is put is already to your point, being a loser and pushing out some type of narrative. Like, you know what, this fits what we want to push out too. Boom, there you go.
Langston Kerman
I think it can be for sure, and I think it is easily trackable just through, like, the amount of revenue that people are investing in the product. Right. Like, if you're willing to invest money into getting more views.
Aaron Branch
Yes.
Langston Kerman
Then we will continue to invest in your longevity on this app because you represent more money for us. Whereas, like, somebody who's just on the app truly experiencing it organically doesn't necessarily represent the exact same potential revenue.
David Bore
Right.
Langston Kerman
I think it's, I think money makes this all feel traceable.
Aaron Branch
Nah, for sure. Makes sense, man. It's wild, dude. I think I just don't want to look at the world like that. But there's so many, like, signs that point To a lot of this stuff that I'm like. It is just that it's fucked up.
David Bore
Yeah.
Aaron Branch
That makes me.
David Bore
Yeah. You know what I mean? Dark wings taking over.
Aaron Branch
Black ass chicken.
David Bore
See? See, it's worse. It's worse over there. You see what happens?
Langston Kerman
I will say. And this will be our big wrap up. I will say that this feels like it connects nicely to this question of zombies.
Aaron Branch
Exactly.
Langston Kerman
And sort of zombification of the human being. Whatever. I think that ultimately it's not so much that like a mushroom is taking over our brain, but more that we are becoming like numb to the shit that actually is taking over our brains.
Aaron Branch
And the fungus is the algorithm.
Langston Kerman
There we go.
David Bore
I like that.
Langston Kerman
That's a beautiful way to end. Punctuate. This bad boy figured it out. We figured it out.
David Bore
Come on. Fungus among us.
Langston Kerman
Let's go. Press a button.
David Bore
I think that was.
Langston Kerman
Yep, yep.
Aaron Branch
No, that's the one.
Langston Kerman
That's what you chose.
Aaron Branch
Like you felt that whole part. Like that whole part spoke.
David Bore
No, I think that was a listener. I don't think I put that.
Langston Kerman
Aaron, can you tell the people where they can find you? Appreciate you?
Aaron Branch
You can find me on Instagram. You can find me on Tik Tok. Aaron branch on everything. And then announcing the Forehead tour starting off top of January.
Langston Kerman
Let's go.
Aaron Branch
Little fall and winter off the top. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?
Langston Kerman
We out here. He didn't even show you the whole thing?
David Bore
No.
Aaron Branch
He pay for that. You gotta pay for that.
David Bore
You know what I'm saying?
Aaron Branch
Yeah.
David Bore
Four is free, the five will cost you.
Aaron Branch
That was. That's the slogan. I'm taking that. The four is free, the five will cost you.
Langston Kerman
There you go. Come on.
Aaron Branch
I just get it, dawg.
David Bore
I got all the headphrases.
Aaron Branch
You had headphrases?
David Bore
Cool guy jokes. 87 on Instagram. December 12th and 13th at Sports Drink in New Orleans. If not, you know, I'll see you next year.
Langston Kerman
Hell, yeah. And you can follow me, Langston Kerman on all social media platforms. I'm still on the.
Aspiring deadbeat tour.
David Bore
Well, you gonna call it abandon your.
Langston Kerman
Kids, abandon your kids tour. That's right.
Aaron Branch
Been doing one city at a time.
Langston Kerman
One weekend a month. No, I'm still on the aspiring Debbie tour. Please, please buy the tickets, show up. It's been great. Y' all have been filling these goddamn shows up. And I would want that to continue. I don't want this to get sad at the end. So come see me. And most importantly send your drops your conspiracies. Give us a just give a us an email@mymamapodmail.com we would love to hear from you and also also give us a call at 844-LIL-MOMS. We love when you call us. We love these voicemails so much and and and don't do drugs.
Too much. Bye bitch.
Aaron Branch
Hey, where the at?
David Bore
It's supposed to be titties. Where the titt?
Langston Kerman
My Mama Told Me is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network.
David Bore
And iHeart podcast, created and hosted by.
Langston Kerman
Langston Kernan, co hosted by David Bore.
David Bore
Executive produced by Will Ferrell Hansani and.
Langston Kerman
Joel Monique co produced by Bay Wayne.
David Bore
Edited and engineered by Justin Comey Music.
Langston Kerman
By Nick Chambers artwork by Dogon Krieger. You can now watch episodes of My Mama told me on YouTube, follow ymama told me and subscribe to our channel.
Aaron Branch
At Hill's Pet Nutrition, we know that pet parent guilt is real. Leaving too long, playing too little. New homes, new babies, Waking them up when they look so comfy. Running, running out of patience. Running out of treats, Running the vacuum. You can only do so much. That's why there's hills. Science led nutrition to help you give more love than humanly possible. Because you're only human. There's hills. Find the right food@hillspet.com ScienceDoesMore.
David Bore
The clock's running out on December deal drops at Lowe's, but there's still time to rest. Wrap up something they'll love. Shop great gifts under $50 like the Dewalt Elite Series 100 piece bit set. Plus if you order by 2pm you get same day delivery by 8pm Shop December deal drops while you can. Lowe's we help you save.
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Langston Kerman
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David Bore
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Langston Kerman
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David Bore
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Aaron Branch
Guaranteed human.
Episode: The Mycelium Network Theory (with Aaron Branch)
Date: December 9, 2025
Podcast: Big Money Players Network & iHeartPodcasts
Hosts: Langston Kerman & David Gborie
Guest: Aaron Branch
This episode of My Momma Told Me dives into the so-called "Mycelium Network Theory" with comedian Aaron Branch. The hosts and guest take their signature humorous, insightful approach to Black conspiracy theories—this time examining the idea that fungi, specifically interconnected networks of mycelium (a.k.a. mushroom roots), could be influencing life on Earth, including potentially humans. The discussion journeys through the science, the wildest extensions of the theory (are we all mushroom-controlled zombies?), pop culture riffs, personal anecdotes, and adjacent Black cultural touchstones.
The trio also tackles a listener’s voicemail about whether dating “gurus” targeting Black communities are part of an FBI psyop, spiraling into a discussion on algorithmic influence, social engineering, and media manipulation.
Submit conspiracies or drops:
Email: mymamapodmail@gmail.com
Voicemail: 844-LIL-MOMS
“It's not so much that a mushroom is taking over our brain, but more that we are becoming numb to the shit that actually is taking over our brains. And the fungus is the algorithm.”
— Langston Kerman (93:21)
“Nature is not—‘All natural’ is savagery. It’s trying to kill you.”
— David Gborie (55:25)
“Are we zombies already? Are we being controlled by mushrooms?”
— Aaron Branch (18:37)
(Summary by AI; episode transcript time signatures provided for reference.)