Podcast Summary: My Momma Told Me (with Clark Jones)

Podcast: My Momma Told Me
Hosts: Langston Kerman & David Gborie
Guest: Clark Jones
Date: January 27, 2026

Episode Overview

In this engaging and hilarious episode, comedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie are joined by fellow comedian Clark Jones for a wide-ranging discussion centered on one of the most entertainingly paranoid Black conspiracy theories: “Porn sites secretly take photos of users to blackmail you later.” Through their trademark blend of wit, honesty, and tangents, the trio unpacks everything from digital surveillance anxieties, AI mistrust, “gooning,” and childhood nostalgia, to the economics of plastic bag hoarding in Black households. The episode also features playful riffs on rap memory loss, cartoon theme songs, and the ever-present threat of smart technology.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Announcements & Banter (02:05–05:50)

• Patreon Launch: The hosts excitedly reveal the My Momma Told Me Patreon, promising extra content, mailbags, livestreams, and more quirky perks.
• Playful Roasting: Early banter about photographing Cornel West in Costco, with Clark calling out the “Bigfoot-level” grainy photo David sent.

Aging, Rap, and "Plastic Bag Billionaires" (06:44–16:00)

• Rap Memory Loss:
  • Getting worse at rapping as you age:
    “Isn’t that embarrassing? Because I was never a rapper and I got worse at it.” – David (07:11)
  • Discussion on white girls nailing rap verses and nostalgia for youthful recall.
• Black Household Plastics Economy:
  • The number of plastic bags one should save (one good bag full of others).
  • “I throw away plastic bags.” – Langston (09:15)
  • The outer “Shell bag” must be the thickest, often from a clothing store, signaling status.
  • Plastic bag color codes “tell you your economic standing”—black for higher-end beauty supply stores, clear for lower.
  • Hoarding plastic bags and napkins is debated as a signifier of Black household authenticity and resourcefulness.
  • “We’re acting like plastic bag billionaires.” – David (16:29)

Cultural Status, Community, & Conspiratorial Tangents (16:34–20:40)

• The importance of “being seen” and names being misused in the comedy community.
• Willingness to rebrand the podcast for $10,000:
  “You can name the podcast.” – Langston (19:57)
• Offers and running jokes about podcast naming rights for money.

Main Conspiracy Theory: Porn Sites Secretly Take Your Photo (20:41–27:46)

• Clark Jones’s Theory: Porn sites are using your device’s camera to record incriminating footage for future blackmail.
  • “There is a database of O faces.” – Clark (21:08)
  • Discussion comparing it to how Twitter was archived by the Library of Congress.
• Shame and Vulnerability:
  • Worst part is not the “O face,” but the “looking for porn face” and “tissue walk.”
  • Universal agreement that the post-porn experience is full of “sad stumbles.”
  • “If they get the footage of you walking to get a tissue after… they just get that sad fucking stumble.” – Langston (22:54)
• Commenting on Porn:
  “What are you doing commenting?!” – Clark (32:26)
• The dangers of having search histories or comments online, especially for public figures.

Gooning and Post-Nut Clarity (27:47–32:30)

• Definition of “Gooning”: Deep-diving into “goon caves,” where people immerse themselves in porn via multiple screens or VR setups.
  • “Gooning is when … you are surrounding yourself with screens and like pictures and … pushing yourself to the maximum.” – Langston (28:33)
• The horror of not having “post-nut clarity” and the disturbing notion of sticking around on porn sites after climax.
• Clark and David joke about how gooners should have to wear masks or “scarlet letters.”
• Playful religious riff: “The only thing I goon is the Lord.” – Langston (31:44)

Technological Surveillance & Smart Devices (56:20–61:15)

• Malware That Snaps Webcam Photos: Langston cites an article about porn-related info-stealer malware.
  • “We do not do this without your consent … shut the fuck up.” – Langston (57:07)
• Government Surveillance:
  • Clark references former CIA operatives openly admitting to repurposing everyday tech for spying.
  • “Anything with smart in it, you’re being watched.” – Clark (58:21)
• Smart Fridges as a Threat:
  • Jokes about how fridges with cameras might become the real avenue for blackmail.
  • “I don’t want you to see how long those tenders from Costco lasted.” – David (58:30)
  • Fridge-watching could be more embarrassing than porn.
  • “I think the fridge is a real threat. And I think it has a better camera for capturing your whole embarrassing journey.” – Langston (59:27)

AI, Digital Identity, and the Coming Downfall (61:15–69:59)

• ID for Porn Access: States that require selfies or IDs to access adult sites, leading to more data collection.
  • “First thing the government does is get you used to having a photo submitted.” – Clark (61:57)
• AI’s Dangers:
  • Are flawed AI images/"bad fingers" a deliberate disinformation tactic? Yes, Clark says.
    • “The theory is that they’re intentionally fucking up the fingers so people aren’t alarmed.” – Clark (64:12)
  • AI’s insidious spread tricking even careful users, sometimes using trusted memes.
  • The risk of deep-fakes: “Meanwhile, you’re about to get deep faked into a crime here, bro.” – David (65:57)
  • AI as both potentially useful and ultimately threatening—possibly leading to widespread irrelevance or “digital slavery.”
    • “We are going to make ourselves slaves if we don’t at least go chill.” – Langston (69:12)

Sociopolitical Commentary & Generational Accountability (69:20–74:27)

• Fears about future generations severely judging the present for letting AI and surveillance get out of hand.
  • “They’re gonna come down on us hard for the shit that we let slide.” – Clark (69:43)
• Joking about “frontline” resistance vs. just “laying down” in the face of technological overreach.
• “I’m just throwing these plastic bags away. That’s how I still have power.” – Clark (76:09)

Nostalgia & Black TV Cartoons Voicemail (79:07–86:31)

• Listener Devon from Brooklyn calls in about the hidden origins of Disney Afternoon cartoons.
  • “Darkwing Duck is Father Knows Best. Tailspin is Moonlighting. Goof Troop is just a Black single father trying to raise his child.” – Voicemail (79:07–81:39)
  • Hosts riff on the Blackness of cartoon theme songs and why some shows resonated so deeply.
  • “The theme song makes a big determinant in whether or not Black people consume more of it.” – Langston (83:41)
  • Influential theme songs, including Golden Girls, DuckTales, and Darkwing Duck.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Rap Memory Loss:
  “When I was like, 19, every word. Perfect placing timing. Like every song, I knew the words.” – Langston (07:16)
• On Black Household Habits:
  “You only need one plastic bag worth of plastic bags.” – David (10:38) “Throwing away plastic bags and not having napkins, all purpose. That coon card…you gonna throw it on, you’re done.” – Clark (15:13)
• On O-Face Database Conspiracy:
  “There is a database of O faces…the Library of Congress used to keep a record of all tweets…why not your O face?” – Clark (21:08) “If they get the footage of you walking to get a tissue after because you didn’t set up properly…they just get that sad fucking stumble.” – Langston (22:54)
• On “Post Nut Clarity”:
  “The real bummer is if they get the footage of you walking to get a tissue after because you didn’t set up properly.” – Langston (22:54)
• On Smart Tech Surveillance:
  “Anything with smart in it, you’re being watched.” – Clark (58:21)
• On Theme Songs & Black Cartoons:
  “The theme song makes a big determinant in whether or not Black people consume more of it.” – Langston (83:41)
• On Generational Judgment:
  “They’re gonna come down on us hard for the shit that we let slide, man.” – Clark (69:43)
• On AI as a Double-Edged Sword:
  “We are going to make ourselves slaves if we don’t at least go chill.” – Langston (69:12)

Important Segment Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |-----------|--------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:05 | Patreon announcement & banter about Cornel West photo | | 06:44 | Aging & nostalgia: rap recall, white girls rapping | | 09:15 | Plastic bag hoarding in Black homes | | 20:41 | Main conspiracy: “Porn sites secretly snap photos…” | | 21:08 | Clark’s “O face” database theory | | 27:47 | Gooning, goon caves, post-nut clarity | | 56:20 | Techspot article: malware that snaps webcam during porn use | | 58:21 | “Anything with smart in it, you’re being watched.” | | 61:15 | ID/selfie requirements for porn sites, state-level laws | | 64:12 | Is “bad AI” a psy-op strategy? | | 68:07 | AI and media trust, accidental reposting of AI content | | 69:20 | Generational self-critique/"People will judge us for this…" | | 79:07 | Listener voicemail: Disney Afternoon, cartoons & Blackness | | 83:41 | Why Black audiences love certain theme songs |

Episode Tone & Style

The episode remains casual, irreverent, and heartfelt, with the trio riffing freely, making each other laugh, and shifting seamlessly between sharp social commentary and outright silliness. The hosts’ camaraderie and Clark’s dry, observational humor create a welcoming feel even as they swing from jokes to Six O'Clock News-level paranoia.

Key Takeaways

• Clark’s conspiracy theory—while mostly tongue-in-cheek—sparks genuine conversations about privacy, surveillance, and the creep of everyday technology.
• The hosts play with paranoia and skepticism, using comedy to process and question the increasing presence of AI and surveillance.
• Black household culture, nostalgia, and the importance of representation (even in cartoons and theme songs) are recurring motifs.
• The group recognizes both the power and limitations of social and technological change, urging a mix of vigilance and acceptance.

Follow the hosts:

• Clark Jones: @ClarkLaRueJones & Husky Nigga Fits on Instagram
• David Gborie: @CoolGuyJokes87
• Langston Kerman: @LangstonKerman

Submit Your Theory:

• Email: mymamapodmail@gmail.com
• Call: 844-LIL-MOMS

Final Word:
“We just turn on each other in every comment.” – Clark (33:56)
“We are exchanging things that you like with things you might like in a different form.” – Langston (84:37)

(End of summary)