Podcast Summary: Embracing Your Crone Age with Cheryl Strayed
My So-Called Midlife with Reshma Saujani
Episode: Embracing Your Crone Age with Cheryl Strayed
Release Date: November 13, 2024
Host: Reshma Saujani
Guest: Cheryl Strayed, Author and Advice Columnist
Introduction
In this compelling episode of My So-Called Midlife, host Reshma Saujani delves deep into the concept of midlife transformation with renowned author Cheryl Strayed. Strayed, best known for her memoir Wild and her Dear Sugar advice column, shares her profound insights on navigating midlife challenges, embracing the "crone age," and finding fulfillment beyond societal expectations.
The Midlife Mindset
Reshma Saujani begins by exploring the varied midlife experiences, highlighting how some view it as the best time of their lives, while others find it tumultuous. She emphasizes the importance of asking for what one truly wants and overcoming fears and shame to achieve a more fulfilled midlife.
Cheryl Strayed responds by redefining the notion of the "best time" in life.
“[What time] every decade of my life has contained real sorrow, real loss, real trauma and real joy, real profound growth and transformation and satisfaction... our job here is to evolve, and we can't evolve with only suffering, and we can't evolve with only joy.”
— Cheryl Strayed [06:20]
Embracing the Crone Age
Strayed introduces the concept of the "crone age," a stage she personally entered after experiencing significant life transitions, including menopause. She discusses the emotional and physical changes that accompany this phase, emphasizing it as a period of self-discovery and empowerment.
“I'm entering a new... crone age. I'm going to take it, and I'm going to learn something big and new, and it's going to define me for this next era ahead.”
— Cheryl Strayed [08:46]
Personal Journeys and Lessons
Reshma steers the conversation towards Strayed's transformative journey in her 20s, marked by her mother's untimely death and her subsequent trek along the Pacific Crest Trail. Strayed reflects on the parallels between her youth and her current midlife challenges, stressing the importance of acceptance and continual personal growth.
“...it's about acceptance. It's saying... how wild it was to let all of the things that are true about my life, the pretty things and the ugly things, the hard things and the easy things, how to let them all be true and claim them all as mine.”
— Cheryl Strayed [14:51]
Navigating Grief and Loss
The discussion deepens into dealing with grief, especially the loss of a parent during midlife. Strayed offers compassionate advice on embracing the present and seeking reconciliation in relationships before it's too late.
“Be here now and think about the ways that you can make whole what doesn't feel whole between you today. Don't wait for that deathbed moment.”
— Cheryl Strayed [15:22]
Marriage and Infidelity
Strayed addresses the complex topic of infidelity, sharing her personal experiences and emphasizing the importance of honest communication in relationships. She challenges societal norms around monogamy and highlights the universal struggles with human sexuality.
“...a perfect record doesn't mean there haven't been challenges. If we could have a more honest conversation about human sexuality, more couples would be successful.”
— Cheryl Strayed [21:05]
Universal Struggles and Vulnerability
The conversation shifts to the universal nature of personal struggles and the societal pressures to appear flawless. Strayed encourages vulnerability and authenticity, advocating for women to voice their fears and aspirations without shame.
“We are trained to be pleasing to others... stepping outside of that, it's incredibly scary because we risk not getting that thing we really need... acceptance and love.”
— Cheryl Strayed [27:57]
Success and Fulfillment
Reflecting on her literary success, Strayed shares her feelings about "making it" as an author. She attributes her fulfillment not just to personal achievement but to honoring the legacy of her ancestors and the sacrifices they've made.
“I made it for all of the ways that they sacrificed and suffered and loved and gave and contributed to the betterment of the world.”
— Cheryl Strayed [33:40]
Looking Ahead: The Next Era
As the episode winds down, Strayed speaks passionately about the future, viewing midlife as a fertile ground for new beginnings and continued personal evolution. She likens modern midlife transitions to ancient rites of passage, underscoring the need for reflective journeys during significant life changes.
“We need to really take some time and be contemplative and remember again who we are and see for the first time who we're now becoming in this new reality.”
— Cheryl Strayed [37:37]
Conclusion
Reshma Saujani and Cheryl Strayed conclude the episode with a heartfelt exchange, celebrating the ongoing journey of self-discovery and encouraging listeners to embrace their own midlife transitions with courage and authenticity.
“Thank you so much for this powerful conversation... I can't wait to read it, too.”
— Reshma Saujani and Cheryl Strayed [39:36]
Key Takeaways
- Acceptance is Crucial: Embracing both joys and sorrows as part of life's evolution is essential for personal growth.
- Vulnerability Leads to Strength: Being open about struggles fosters deeper connections and personal healing.
- Redefining Success: Fulfillment comes from honoring one's journey and the legacies of those who came before us.
- Continuous Evolution: Midlife is not an endpoint but a new beginning, offering opportunities for reflection and transformation.
My So-Called Midlife with Reshma Saujani offers an insightful and heartfelt exploration of midlife challenges and transformations through the lens of Cheryl Strayed's experiences and wisdom. This episode serves as a guiding light for anyone navigating the complexities of midlife, encouraging them to embrace their "crone age" with grace and resilience.