Revisit: Laughing Through the Breakdown with Zarna Garg

Summary

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My So-Called Midlife with Reshma Saujani

Episode: Revisit: Laughing Through the Breakdown with Zarna Garg

Date: March 11, 2026 | Host: Reshma Saujani (Lemonada Media)
Guest: Zarna Garg, comedian & author

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Episode Overview

This episode explores the pursuit of fulfillment and reinvention during midlife, focusing on comedian Zarna Garg’s transformative journey from stay-at-home mom and serial “failed” entrepreneur to stand-up sensation and published author. Host Reshma Saujani and Zarna riff on parental expectations, failure, culture, comedy as a lifeline, and the power of betting on oneself—especially later in life. The conversation is candid, honest, and packed with humor and wisdom, offering inspiration and practical advice to women navigating midlife pivots, career changes, and personal reinvention.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Zarna’s Midlife Mindset and Background

• Zarna’s Perspective on Midlife:

  • Sees it as the best, most liberated time of her life.
  • Parenting older kids (“thank you, God, because the baby years are hard” – 04:46) has given her space and energy to focus on herself.

• On Her Nonlinear Path:

  • Details a life of “many happy years being a mom” and a long period without awareness of being “late” (06:25).
  • Comically honest about “failing” at jobs before comedy: law (was “bad at it”—“All my clients were in jail, I took that to be a sign”—07:02), vegan chili, a travel toothbrush, matchmaking, and more.

• On Cultural and Family Pressures:

  • Fled India as a teen to avoid early marriage:

    “My dad... was like, don’t even read. Please don’t read. Women who read get themselves in trouble... So I actually left India because it was either get arranged or find another place to live.” (08:11)

  • Blend of Indian and American influences shaped her ambitions and resistance to traditional roles.

2. The Crucible: Motherhood, Ambition & The Breaking Point

• Stay-at-Home Mom Days:

  • Threw herself into her children’s lives (“nuclear energy...putting it all in the kids”—12:23), managing sports, school, and family.
  • The “sock debacle” becomes a metaphor for midlife overwhelm:

    “We show up [for a soccer game], and he can’t play because he got the wrong socks... and I started yelling at everybody... My husband took me in my room... ‘What is wrong with you?’... ‘You have all this energy and you’re wasting it on socks. How did this become your life?’” (13:45–15:33)

• Epiphany and Spouse’s Challenge:

  • Her husband’s candor—“I don’t know if I can live with you like this” (15:33)—prompted Zarna to reconsider her path.

3. Serial Reinvention—And Failure as a Stepping Stone

• Entrepreneurial Attempts:

  • Tried 17 businesses, from a matchmaking service (“the whole business is telling women it’s not too late when it’s actually too late”—21:38) to a travel toothbrush.
  • Realized she’d rather create something than work for someone else, but “failed at everything” (20:30).

• Breakthrough: Writing and Winning Big

  • Taught herself to write a screenplay from YouTube, won top comedy prize at Austin Film Festival (23:19–24:53).
  • Still, agents in the industry had no idea what to do with a “sweet Indian auntie” newcomer—“I really thought you email somebody the script and they make a movie.” (24:53)

4. Stand-Up Comedy as an Unexpected Calling

• Origin Story:

  • Kids suggested stand-up after noticing everyone loved Zarna’s stories (25:01–26:40).
  • “Who thinks comedy is a job? Not me. Ever... never even stepped foot in a comedy club until that stage.” (26:41–26:48)
  • First open mic at 43, in 2018, in the basement of a Mexican restaurant (“just to appease [the kids], I showed up”)—where she riffed on her mother-in-law to surprising acclaim (27:25–29:42).

• Revelation of Room for Indian Mom Comedy:

  • Researched to find no one else was doing her brand of “Indian mom” stand-up (29:50).
  • Recognized a “white space”—an untapped market to build a business and platform (30:17).

• From Comedy as Calling to Comedy as Business:

  • Zarna self-identifies as “an entrepreneur who became an artist... I talk about money openly because... you cannot take your kids’ kisses to the bank to pay off the mortgage.” (30:43–31:15)

• Emotional Aftermath:

  • Instead of feeling elated after a successful set, she felt anger—about lost time and wasted “content” from years of motherhood:

    “I was angry... I have left millions of dollars worth of material on the table... I should have been doing this sooner.” (31:27–31:49)

5. Comedy, Motherhood, and the Challenge for Midlife Women

• Hard Realities of Breaking In:

  • Few older women or mothers in stand-up due to demanding, “weekend and nighttime intensive” lifestyle.
  • Zarna works until 2am, hasn’t taken a vacation in five years because of comedy gigs (33:44).

    “It’s still a job. It’s still a business... Are you willing to pay all these other prices?” (32:50)

  • Leverages her family as a “family business”: “#PutThemToWork” (35:08). Kids help with every aspect.

• Mentoring Others:

  • Helps others enter comedy, but stresses the grind:

    “They don’t realize how much hard work is involved... Part of why you don’t see too many older people in general and not women, women with kids, is because it’s a very difficult weekend and nighttime intensive job.” (32:50–34:32)

• Blurring Lines between Work and Parenting:

  • Practical advice: get kids involved in your pursuits, make the journey fun, integrate their interests (36:59–37:48).

6. Reinvention, Self-Knowledge, and Unlocking Potential

• For Listeners Afraid to Try:

  • Zarna insists she’s ordinary, not a unicorn:

    “The most extraordinary thing about me is that I’m completely ordinary... whatever you like to do can probably become a business.” (39:40–40:23)

  • Advises listeners to look back at what they’ve always enjoyed—her comedy grew from her daily storytelling as a mom (40:32).

• Experience as an Asset, Not a Liability:

  • Competing on Kevin Hart’s “Lift Comics,” she drew on years of “driving kids for 15 years” (41:00).
  • Sees all her past “wasted” experiences as building blocks for success:

    “If you look back at whatever you spent your years doing as experience that built toward it, it’s empowering.” (41:00–42:50)

7. Comedy as Healing and Service

• Comedy in Dark Times:

  • Zarna finds purpose bringing humor even to funerals and hospital rooms (“I did Zoom funerals... at MSK I get recruited to bring joy to very difficult health situations... It has to be a mother who has had empathy for years”—43:14–44:40).

• Motherhood as Strength and Flex:

  • “You make being a mom cool... and like a badass boss bitch thing.” (44:40)
  • Points out how motherhood is never off:

    “Think of the mothers: we’re never off. In fact, weekends and holidays are like double work.” (45:10–45:18)

8. Advice and Philosophical Takeaways

• Facing Fear in Midlife:

  • Zarna: “Whatever we are afraid of is the least likely to happen... You have to have faith that you are the solution—you will figure it out.” (46:02)
  • Encourages action—fail in public and move forward, since “nobody actually looking, nobody cares.” (46:02–47:17)

• Invitation and Community:

  • Zarna warmly invites Reshma (and listeners) to her shows, reinforcing the spirit of support and camaraderie (47:36).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On materializing reinvention:

  “I tried and failed at almost 17 businesses.” — Zarna Garg (20:30)

• On the pressure of parenting perfection:

  “You have all this energy, and you’re wasting it on socks. How did this become your life?” — Zarna's husband (14:09–15:33)

• On missing her own comedic calling:

  “I was angry... I have left millions of dollars worth of material on the table.” — Zarna Garg (31:27)

• On why there are so few mothers in comedy:

  “Are you willing to pay all these other prices?... I haven’t taken a vacation in five years... That’s the reality to build this business.” — Zarna Garg (33:42–34:32)

• On finding worth in ordinary experience:

  “The most extraordinary thing about me is that I’m completely ordinary.” — Zarna Garg (39:40)

• On fear:

  “Whatever we are afraid of is the least likely to happen... You are the solution. You will figure it out. Have that faith and free yourself to take chances.” — Zarna Garg (46:02)

• On motherly work ethic:

  “Think of the mothers: we’re never off... weekends and holidays are like double work.” — Zarna Garg (45:10–45:18)

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Important Timestamps

• [02:19] Opening/Theme: Purpose of podcast and introduction to Zarna Garg
• [04:46] Zarna on loving midlife and glimpse into her home life
• [08:11] Zarna’s upbringing, fleeing early arranged marriage
• [12:23] Parenting ambition, the "sock debacle" story
• [15:33] Husband’s intervention—time to change
• [20:30] Discussing failed businesses and search for purpose
• [23:19] Winning Austin Film Festival, facing industry indifference
• [27:25] Zarna’s first open mic experience
• [29:50] Discovery of untapped market—no other “Indian mom comics”
• [31:27] Emotional aftermath of her first stand-up set
• [35:08] Bringing kids into the business—"family business" model
• [39:40] Advice for ordinary people seeking reinvention
• [41:00] Insights on using motherhood experience in professional life (Kevin Hart's Lyft Comics)
• [43:14] Comedy in places of grief and difficulty—funerals, hospitals
• [46:02] Facing fear, liberating self to take chances
• [47:36] Zarna personally invites Reshma to her live show

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Takeaways & Listener Value

• Reinvention is possible at any age—even after a decade-plus as a stay-at-home mom.
• The setbacks and skills from “failed” ventures can become fuel for future success.
• Motherhood and life experience are powerful, marketable assets.
• Building a new career in midlife is hard work: “family business” can offer support, but there’s no shortcut to the grind.
• Most of our fears are unfounded; action and faith in oneself are key.
• Comedy—and joy—are vital and healing, especially in challenging times.

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Zarna Garg’s Book:
This American Woman: A One in a Billion Memoir is mentioned for listeners to dive deeper into her story.

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Recommendation:
For those seeking inspiration (or simply a belly laugh), Zarna's Instagram is highly recommended by Reshma.

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Endnote:
A frank, funny, and deeply encouraging conversation for anyone contemplating a midlife pivot, wrestling with fear, or needing permission to make herself a priority.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Welcome to my so Called Midlife a podcast where we figure out how to stop Just getting through it and start actually living it. I'm Reshma Sajani. If you've been listening to the show, you know, I talk a lot about being brave, about betting on yourself even when it feels scary. But let's be real. We don't talk enough about how many times you have to fail before that bet actually pays off. Today's guest, Zarna Garg, she is living proof of that. Before she even picked up a mic, Zarna had a long list of dreams. She chased in gigs she tried, she went to law school, she ran a matchmaking service, a vegan chili business, invented a travel toothbrush. And one after the other, they flopped. Every single idea she had, it failed. That's a lot of closed doors. And here's the thing. The older we get, it's scarier to keep trying to break new ones open. It's easier to just do the safe thing. But Zarna, she didn't give up. Instead, she made the boldest, most beautiful bet of her life. She bet on herself. At 43 years old, after 16 years as a stay at home mom, she signed up for an open mic in the basement of a Mexican restaurant. She only went there because her kids dared her to. She thought she'd bomb, prove them wrong, and then they just leave her alone about it. But here's the thing. To her shock, she crushed that open mic today. She's a professional comedian with over a million Instagram followers. A hit comedy special on Prime Video, and now a brand new book called this American Woman, A one in a billion memoir. Folks, buckle up, get ready to be inspired and get ready to laugh. Here's the thing. I'm gonna share her with you because Zarna Garg, she's my happy place. Anytime I'm feeling a little sad or I'm having a bad day, I just pull her up on Instagram and I just belly laugh. Like I haven't laughed before. She is fucking hilarious. You're welcome. One of the first things we, I like to ask in the beginning is about your midlife mindset. So some people are like, this is the fucking worst part of my life. Like, I want to be 20 again. And some people are like, I'm crushing it. So, like, where are you crushing it?

[C]

It's the best part of my life. There's no question about it. My kids are older, which, thank you, God, because the baby years are hard.

[A]

I'm in it.

[C]

So, yes, I know you have young kids, you know, and especially in New York City, it's not making things easier let's just say. And I think your kids are also in New York City, right?

[A]

Yeah, we're in New York and they're 5 and 10. Literally today, like, we got into fight in the morning and I had a bad mom moment and I literally took the five year old's favorite toy and threw it in the diaper pail. Like, it was a bad fail, mom. So.

[C]

Yeah, well, we all have them. We all have. He's gonna be fine. That's the good news. He or she is gonna be fine.

[A]

Yeah, he's gonna be fine.

[C]

You might have to get over it. You might have to.

[A]

As I'm like, as soon as we're finished, I'm gonna like run to a school and be like, ma, like, I'm so sorry.

[C]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Forgive me. So. So, yes, yes, yes. So, right, okay, so your kids are older, so you're crushing it. And you're like, this is awesome.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, I honestly didn't know that midlife or late life or any of it was a thing. I've just been busy living my life, you know what I mean? A lot of people look at me now and they're like, wow, you started late in life. I had no awareness. I was late at anything. The first time I got made aware of it was actually on a CBS morning news network when Gayle King said to me, you started your career late in life. And I remember looking at her and thinking, I did, because I was so busy. I was just living. I had my kids and I was doing my thing for a long time, just being a mom. Many, many happy years being a mom and just trying to figure out next steps. It took, the time it took, and that's life.

[A]

I want to talk about that because I find what you just said super fascinating. Right. So first of all, like, you've had this amazing, really fascinating journey. And I want to, like, talk a little bit about what your life looked like before comedy. And first of all, I also want to say thank you because when I'm just in a shit fucking mood, I just go to your Instagram page and like laugh my face off and feel better. So everyone who's listening do the same. Trust me, it will, like change your life. So you were a stay at home mom for 16 years?

[C]

16 years, yeah.

[A]

And you worked in law before that. And so first of all, walk me through your journey a little bit.

[C]

So I am a lawyer. I'm licensed to practice in New York City. I'm very bad at it. You don't know how bad you are at something sometimes until you start doing. I was great at law school. I was great at taking the bar and doing all of that. But the actual practice, There was a time when all my clients were in jail. I took that to be a sign. I was like, God is throwing a sign, girl. Take it. Take the sign before you end up in jail. I was just generally not good at it, I'll tell you that. It's an especially Indian mindset where we think there's only two or three jobs out there and you follow the path that you think you're. And no one made me. Just to be clear, I'm not a victim of anybody. I kind of thought that was my path, but I didn't realize until the end of the path, until I started practicing law, that it's just not my thing.

[A]

So it wasn't the situation where your dad, like, my dad's like, doctor, lawyer, and engineer. Go. You were like, decided to be a lawyer on your own?

[C]

Well, I mean, it's. My journey's a little bit different. I actually had a dad who was trying to get me married at 15.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

So he was like, don't even read. Please don't read. Women who read get themselves in trouble, get everybody else in trouble. It's so much easier when the women don't read, don't have opinions. And in some way, he might not have been wrong, because ignorance is place. The more you know, the more infuriated you are with life and with everything around you. So I actually left India because it was either get arranged or find another place to live, because I couldn't live at home.

[A]

So, Zarna, you just, like, took off and got on a plane and was like, peace.

[C]

It's not ever that easy to come to America, you know, even just as a visitor. It's not that easy as an Indian, but. And it wasn't like my mom passed suddenly when I was 14. And the day after her death, my dad is like, I'm done parenting. I was the youngest of four, and now that I have three kids, believe me, I understand. Like, I really do. Like, I never held it against him because he was just tired, let's just say. And he was very much like, you need to get married. And he didn't see anything wrong with it. Three of my siblings had been arranged early in life and are happily married. So there was nothing wrong in what he was proposing, except I was that person who wanted to learn and wanted to go to school and actually loved reading and all of it. So I was like, you wanted more? I wanted more. And I was like, I don't want to get married. And I was heavily influenced by American culture. My sister was living in America at the time, was settled here already, So I used to spend a lot of summers here. So my whole childhood was, like, coming to America for the summer and being very influenced by American pop culture when no one was, like, obsessed with getting married and no one was getting arranged.

[A]

Any comedy then or you were not writing jokes or nothing?

[C]

Comedy is five years old in my life, okay? The whole journey to comedy is five years old. Back then, I was just like, I just want to freaking read and be left alone to have opinions. And I was very politically active in India back in the day. I had, like, this whole idea of, like, you know, socialist equality, all the things that kids have that I had. And he was like, no, no. If you don't want to get married, you can't live with me. And I was like, oh, I want to live with you. Anyway, I have so many friends. And I just took off on a whim, thinking that my life would be one big slumber party. When you're 14, you really think you can, like, just live with your friends, Right.

[A]

And do anything and do.

[C]

Just do that. And then after two days of being with my best friend, her mom was like, I think you need to go home.

[A]

You're not living here.

[C]

No. And then that's when reality hit, and it was like, wow, what do I do now? But my sister, who lives even now in Ohio, was very wanting and willing to take me in to live with her. She knew what I wanted, but, like, you know, coming to America, not so easy.

[A]

Nope.

[C]

It took me.

[A]

Definitely not now. Not easy that either.

[C]

No, never. It was never easy. I mean, every immigrant who's come here, you know, has had to add a journey of how to get here. So it took me about two years of, like, couch surfing and figuring out how to make it happen.

[A]

So then you go to law. You go to this law firm, and you're like, you're a shitty lawyer. And you're like, you don't like it. Yeah.

[C]

And also at that time then I had by then met my husband, and I was like, you know, I'm not good at this. And again, we're both immigrants, my husband and I, with no family, really, in New York City. I was like, all right. Maybe the best thing I can do to add value is to support him.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Have the family that I lost, you know, during this whole crazy transition in my life. And, you know, we had kids, and for a long time, I was very happy doing that. But at some point it started hitting me that, what am I doing?

[A]

Like, when do you think that point was?

[C]

Oh, my God. Kids, travel, sports. I remember clearly. I don't know if your kids play sports, but travel sports is a whole. Another industrial complex that's designed to destroy the sanity of mothers. The whole thing. The whole thing is a burden placed on women because if it was just up to men, it would be dead by now. There ain't no way the fathers are gonna get up every single Saturday and Sunday at 5am and, like, load up their car and drive four hours. But we do it because we wanna be perfect. So I remember. And all three of my kids are athletes because, like, you know, that's the kind of mom I was. I was gonna crush the mothering thing. And they didn't just play one sport, they played it all. Like, my daughter was like. She was swimming competitively. She was ice skating. She was a track athlete. She was on the golf team. She was on the flag football team. And I remember. Yeah. No, I was crazy. I had nuclear energy and I was putting it all in the kids. And my son had a soccer game in Poughkeepsie, like, two hours north of New York. And it was at 5, 6am we had to go. Whatever. I took him. Actually also happened to be the day of Karva Chauth, which, for those who don't know, it's a fasting day. So it's a day when the women are not even drinking water all day. So on my day of Karwachauth, I load up the car, take him to Poughkeepsie, and we show up there, and he can't play because he got the wrong socks. I didn't get the right green socks. And the coach is like, no, he can't get on. And I'm begging. I'm, like, pleading. I will plead.

[A]

And you're, like, starving and have had no water. Oh, forget that.

[C]

Forget that. I might die. But, like, who cares about that? I'm like, please don't do this to my son. Like, I'm already an embarrassment. Like, I was voted the worst snack mom in my son's soccer team because I brought clementines and almonds and, like, cheese sticks. And people were like, we just wanted donuts.

[A]

Yeah, like, we're the Cheetos and the Dunkin Donuts.

[C]

Exactly. And I thought. I was like. I was sitting there peeling one orange at a time. I was so stupid because I Thought I was like gonna one up other mom. I was so stupid. Like, stupid things I've done. But the sock tobacco. Then we came back, we're both crying in the car because we can't believe this has happened to us. And I came back and I started yelling at everybody, like, nobody is touching any socks until it goes through me. Bag of socks every. I thought that was easier than trying to figure out which sock belonged to which sport. So I was like, I will carry the bag with me all day, every day, and they will be in and out. And I started yelling at everybody. My husband took me in my room, like, literally physically pulled me in and not in a sexy way at all. And he's like, what is wrong with you? Like, what is actually wrong with you? You enter this beast mode and you scare everybody. And like, you have all this energy and you're wasting it on socks. How did this become your life? And I remember thinking, you're not there. I'm the one who has to deal with it. He's like, I don't fucking care. Let him not play any sport. Why did this become our life? And I really had a moment, like, he was very serious. He's like, I don't know if I can live with you like this.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

You know, And I think he knew that all that we had done to build our life to that point, like, we were both ambitious people. It wasn't just him. I had my own ambitions. And somewhere along the way, I became like, fixated on my kids ambitions. And I needed that moment of sitting down and thinking, this is not sustainable and we can't get divorced yet because the insurance is not vested. So hang in there, Zarna.

[A]

So you're like, I gotta make a change.

[C]

Mm.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

What's the plan? Available Friday, January 23rd wherever you get

[B]

your podcasts, subscribe, recruit, discuss, organize, and win. That's the plan.

[A]

So what's the first thing you do when you have that realization?

[C]

I tried. Oh my God. I tried and failed at almost 17 businesses.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

I was like, I don't want to work for somebody else. It didn't make financial sense. I'll be honest with you. We were already bleeding, hemorrhaging money as W2 employees for my husband. You know how it is. Everything you make goes to taxes. I was like, great. I add another salaried job. What is that going to do for us? I won't even pay some more.

[A]

Travel, sports, basically.

[C]

Exactly. I won't even earn enough to pay the help that I need to replace me.

[A]

Right.

[C]

So I was like, I'm going to be an entrepreneur. I tried it all. Failed at everything.

[A]

What was your favorite failed business that you tried to start?

[C]

Oh, my God. I'm going to tell you. And I might get canceled for it. I was. I'll tell you the things that were, like, kind of benign. I had a travel toothbrush idea based on all my travel sports that flopped on day one. I had a Vegan chili. I'm an amazing cook, but I don't like cooking, so. But I had a vegan chili, which I was convinced the world would love. Nobody wanted it. Nobody. Not one person. And then I was a matchmaker for five minutes.

[A]

Oh, I can kind of see that.

[C]

No, but talk about a horrible business to be in, because it's literally, the whole business is telling women it's not too late when it's actually too late. Oh, like, see, I'm telling you I'm gonna get canceled. I don't know.

[A]

You won't. I promise you won't get canceled. What do you mean by that?

[C]

It's like the whole matchmaking game is that the women don't like the men who like them, the men don't like the women who like them. So your whole job is to be the intermediary therapist. But then, because they're chewing at your brain all day long, then you need a therapist to get through your day. So everything you earn, matchmaking, you're now gonna pass on to your own therapist, because you can't get through your life with destruction that you've seen during the day. So I tried. Like, I was trying everything. And I had a moment of, like, I should do something, you know, that I want in this world. And I thought, you know, why isn't there a big Indian rom com? I love watching movies. We all do. I was like, how hard can it be to write a big Indian rom com? And I taught myself how to write a screenplay straight out of YouTube. I learned everything on YouTube, by the way, for free. Because after spending money on two degrees, not one, two, I was like, I'm not getting. I'm not spending a dollar on another degree. God help me. So I did, you know, I learned how to write a screenplay. That screenplay, that's the story of my life, ended up winning the top comedy prize in America at Austin Film Festival, which is considered the writers festival. It beat out scripts.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

And nobody wanted to talk to me, not one agent, because they didn't know. It wasn't, like, discrimination, and it wasn't all that. I was just too much of an unknown entity. I would walk into rooms.

[A]

You weren't in the game, and people were like, who the hell are you?

[C]

Who is she? Because every other writer who even made any cut, like semifinal or whatever, they were people who had been doing it for years that others were familiar with.

[A]

God, they must have hated you. Like, you just go in there, learn on YouTube, and just win the biggest. Like, win the top comedy Feature Screenplay award in the 2019 Austin Film Festival. What the fuck?

[C]

I know. You know what's crazy is that the world has always been rooting for me. It's crazy. I've been very blessed. I remember when the winner was announced. It was the last award of the night at Austin, and I was like, not at all thinking I will ever win. I was just happy to be in the room. And I didn't even. I was like, zoned out and whatever. I was talking to other people on the table. And the winner got announced. And I still wasn't focused, but I heard somebody in my earshot say, oh, my God, the Indian woman won. And still not knowing, I turned around and was, there's another Indian woman in here. It didn't even hit me that it could be me.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

I was so removed from the whole thing. But the world has always been rooting for me. They just didn't know what to do with me. Yeah, they were like, all right, she's a sweet Indian auntie. She wrote a story, and I didn't know how the business worked. I really thought you email somebody the script and they make a movie.

[A]

So how did you. So you win this big thing? Yeah, nobody's. The phone is not ringing afterwards to you. But then, so what are you thinking and what do you do next?

[C]

So I came home, my kids knew I was doing this. And a big part of my life is hanging out with my kids and their friends. Coming home after school, dinner, you know, the sports pickup drop off. And my daughter was like, mom, all these products and things that you're trying, this is all your thing is your stories. Because all our friends love hanging out with you. Because no matter where I am, I'm always yelling at kids. I'm not trying to be funny. What has become my comedy act is actually meant to be serious. And, you know, if you have an Indian mom, I'm sure every Indian mom has looked at a non Indian kid and be like, why are you getting a degree in history? What job are you gonna get? You know? And I would be ranting constantly. I would be like, I don't understand. How are you not eating a vegetable? Like, we used to have all these non Indian kids come to our house and be like, I don't eat veggies. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. We're gonna fix this right now.

[A]

So when you're telling your stories, are people laughing? Did you know that? You're like, I'm funny.

[C]

No, I mean, they were laughing, but I was like, no, no, be scared. I'm trying to be scary. I'm yelling at you. What are you? What are we missing here? And they always thought it was funny, and I never thought it was, but my daughter was like, mom, I really think you need to start. You need to try stand up comedy. You need to put your voice out there, because no one's gonna read these pages. And I have learned no one reads anything. Even people who are paid to read don't actually read. So that kind of. And I didn't think comedy. Who thinks comedy is a job? Not me. Ever?

[A]

Not me, no.

[C]

Right. I'd never even stepped foot in a comedy club until that stage before that point. No, Never.

[A]

No way.

[C]

But what had happened is that I had made my kids do so many things they didn't want to do at that point. Every kid of mine had to do a sport they hated, had to eat a food they hated. That I couldn't be the. I mean, I'm quite hypocritical. I'm open to admitting that. I mean, I do eat the cake at night when my kids are not watching, even though I don't let them do it. But even for me, I was like, they're making me do this. I can't just be like, I'm not gonna do it. So just to appease them, I showed up at an open mic.

[A]

So you all go. So it's your first open mic experience?

[C]

I go by myself. I went by myself. A friend of mine, I told my friends that my kids were like, you should do. And they were like, you know, we have a friend who runs an open mic on the Upper west side, and she's another mom. So it felt like, okay, she's another mom. Maybe I can do this.

[A]

Like, if this feels safe, you can do this.

[C]

So I was like, you know what? I'll go. I'll take a selfie so that my kids know. I went, and I'll come back and I'll tell them that this was a stupid idea, and let's move on to the next thing, the next business, you know? And I went, not knowing what to expect. You know, basement of a Mexican restaurant, which is where I still work. My favorite club in New York City. And I couldn't believe what was happening. Like, all these people, they open mic. It was like, why are so many people having fun in the middle of a day, Working day? I wanted to yell at each one of them, do you guys not have jobs? And. But this was their job. It was like an awakening for me. That this is their job, like they're working. And I was already there. So the mom said to me, she said, the woman who was running the club, Felicia, she said, you're already here. Why don't you do five minutes on the stage? And I was like, but do what? I didn't have any material. And she's like, just talk about whatever you think is funny. So I got on stage and I started trashing my mother in law.

[A]

Wait, Sarna, what year is this? What year is this?

[C]

2018. For 2018. Yeah.

[A]

Trashing your mother in law, Right. My favorite topic.

[C]

Who doesn't think that's funny? Who doesn't think that's funny? Right? I was like, and people were dying. Like, I couldn't understand what was happening. I do remember thinking like, white people do this. Like this is a paid job. Like, what is? And I really remember thinking that am I hearing a click from the universe in my brain? Like, what is going on? And I went home that day thinking, maybe this, like, still not believing. I went home thinking, I've been so buried under the mom life that maybe there's thousands of Indian mom comics and I just don't know them.

[A]

Right, right.

[C]

It's possible that they all exist. I don't know them. So I started doing research and there's no one doing this.

[A]

There's nobody. You were the first.

[C]

And I couldn't believe it. I was like, how is it possible that nobody else is doing this? And then my wheel started setting in motion that this is a white space and there is a business to be built here. And I've always been obsessed with entrepreneurship. I love reading about other entrepreneurs, who's doing what. And then that night I started thinking, if this were to be a business, how would I set it up?

[A]

This is so fascinating. So it's not like this is your gift from childhood, your dream from childhood. You wanna be a comedian and you get your lucky shot. This is like you're a stay at home mom. It's time to pursue something. You're passionate about entrepreneurship and you're like, oh my God, there's a market here. Like there is an opportunity here for someone like me who clearly people want to hear my stories, to do something.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, artists are very hesitant to call themselves business people.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But I tell everybody I'm an entrepreneur who became an artist. It's not the other way around. And because I'm really passionate about women knowing their worth, I talk about money openly and quite frequently because women and women of a certain age have Been taught that you should be ashamed. As if we don't need money to live. Like, you cannot take your kids kisses to the bank to pay off their mortgage.

[A]

Yeah. So you kind of get. You love the business, but I want to take it back. So when you do your first open mic and everyone's laughing, it must have felt pretty damn good.

[C]

I was angry.

[A]

I was angry. Why?

[C]

I was like, I have left millions of dollars worth of material on the table. What is happening, people? You want to buy this? Do you know how many years I've been doing this?

[A]

Wow. Wow.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's your first thought. Like, oh, my God, I should have been doing this sooner.

[C]

I was like, I can't. Like, every comic has a very sad base. And as just like me, we're all broken misfits. And there was an immediate sadness in my heart that, like, why did I come to this so late? Not. Not late in life, but, like, why did I have to fail at so many things to find it? At that point, I wasn't even thinking about my age. I was just more thinking of all the things that I had tried and failed. Like this, in hindsight, should have been the most obvious thing, but it wasn't at all.

[A]

So putting aside the Indian auntie piece, but you're. Now you're an older woman in comedy. There isn't a lot of older women in midlife or, you know, in comedy at all. How do you navigate that and why do you think that is? Because here's the thing. Like, our shit is funny. Like, the things that happen to me on a daily basis is funny and is also, like, relatable to a lot of people. But there's no space for us. Like, what do you think that's about?

[C]

I think it's. Look, it's many things. It's one thing to have funny stuff. It's another to turn it into a skill and then that skill into a business. Those are big steps. I have now helped any number of comics get started. Old, young, immigrants, not immigrants with an axe. Anybody reaches out to me, I help them get started. I give them space, stage time, because I feel like I have to pay it forward. They don't realize how much hard work is involved. They just think that because they're funny, it should just naturally come to them. It's still a job. It's still a business. Part of why you don't see too many older people in general and not women, women with kids, is because it's a very difficult weekend and nighttime intensive job. I work till 2am every night and

[A]

you're out right on a stage.

[C]

I haven't taken a vacation in five years. Every, for five years, every holiday, every long weekend, my kids work with me wherever I am. That's the only way we can be together. And that's the price that we have to pay to build this business. That's the reality of it. So yes, you can be funny, but are you willing to pay all these other prices? Are you willing to do all of this? You know, I remember I got another auntie, like this woman started and she's like, it's a lot of headache involved in comedy. You have to wait and then you don't go on till midnight. I was like, dude, I don't know. A headache free way of making money. Like, I'm in for the grind of it all. And that's one reason why you won't see so many moms, so many women in comedy.

[A]

Well, that's like, that's what's going to ask you, like, how did you bridge the kind of the world of like, also stand up and motherhood? Because I've seen a lot of people now talk about like pregnancy, right? Like, and make. Because that's now like a millennial experience that people are, are facing. But like, mother, you've transcended motherhood, which I think is incredible. Like, I actually can't think of another comp, right. Like, that's similar to you. South Asian, not South Asian. Right. That is, that is doing that in this, in this really kind of funny, relatable way. And I have a lot of like, non moms who watch your content, non Indians who watch your content. Right?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I enlisted my kids. First of all, I'm all for child labor, Hashtag, put them to work. I had a moment of like, why am I the only one working? My family has been very supportive. Like, my husband understands that I put in many, many years supporting his dream, building his. I mean, I was like the marketing person for his hedge fund for 10 years. Why? I wasn't even paid. They just loved rolling me around at all the meetings. They were like, people love meeting you. Come with us. They know that I've done. I helped my daughter get into college. I helped my son get into college. They know that I've really, with a lot of integrity, done every job that I signed on for and now this is where my heart is. So they all kind of came together to help me. So now that I do it, I tell everybody that my kids are not in my business. We are a family business. They've been in it with me since day one. And I leveraged everything I could get from them. Because, as you know, and you're such a big champion of women and moms being supported, there's no real support for moms in this country. There's just not. I don't know if this will ever fix itself. I don't feel particularly hopeful. But I do feel that one thing, one aspect of Indian life is that the children who are the biggest beneficiaries of our sacrifices can feel a sense of responsibility towards their mother.

[A]

I love this. Yes.

[C]

They should step in without any hesitation. And I've taught my kids, I've made my kids. Because I don't think that that's a big ask. I would not ask them to change their life around Sarna.

[A]

How did you do that, though? Can you teach me how to do that? How did you teach that value? Like, what were some. Anything practical that you did?

[C]

Yeah. You have to make the journey fun for them to the extent as possible as they are involved in your life. So let's say in your case, you're running this beautiful podcast, highly successful podcast. I would have my son be like, you know what? It's a long weekend. You're gonna help me with my podcast. You're gonna help me do research on this guest, make it fun. And while he's doing that, order in his favorite food. Or maybe if you do these three things, we go do this event that otherwise we can't do. It's always a compromise. Like, my kids work with me every long weekend, but then at the end of the long weekend, we do one fun thing as a family.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And it helps that we also like working. All of us are workaholics, all five of us. But then we work together, you know, so I try.

[A]

And you don't miss them? Cause I miss my kids. I'm a workaholic. I love. You know, I also love to work. Right. And then. But then I have this push and pull because I love. I love to be with them. I love being a mom. And so that's. That's like a dream for me.

[C]

You know, you gotta just keep roping them in to little projects that will become bigger projects. Find things that they like to do, you know, that you can incorporate as a unit in your business. You'll see. Once you intentionally decide that my kids are going to be a part of this, synergies will keep popping up where you're like, you know what? Why can't my son do that. Why can't my daughter do that?

[A]

Only 18 states require sex ed to be medically accurate. And relationship classes. Let's fix that. I'm Shan, an ASEX certified sex educator with a master's in psychology. And on my podcast, Lovers by Shan, we make learning about love as mind blowing as making it. Celebrities and fascinating people share an intimate story. Then we uncover the lesson for all of us. Watch Lovers by Shan from Lemonada Media on YouTube or listen wherever you like your podcast. As we're talking about this, it feels so easy and seamless. And listen, there are a lot of midlifers who listen to this and who are terrified of that reinvention. Our stay at home moms can't even get a part time job right. So what you're saying is like, holy fuck, is that. Are you a unicorn or is that possible?

[C]

For me, it's possible for everybody. If I can do it, anybody can. I like to say that the most extraordinary thing about me is that I'm completely ordinary. I'm not your Ivy League educator. I went to University of Akron. It's a humble college. I went to Case Western Reserve for law school. I was not a top student. I just like to learn. And I get what you're saying. I get a lot of women in particular, like, I want to do something. I don't know what to do. And I tell everybody that the answer is in reflecting back, what do you already like to do? Because whatever it is that you like to do can probably become a business.

[A]

That's right, because you were already telling these stories.

[C]

I went through this long journey of trying to find new things when the answer was already in my backyard.

[A]

Powerful.

[C]

And I tell everybody, if you're like obsessive about organizing closets, that's a job. Now, that's something that social media has created so many new opportunities for women.

[A]

What do you feel like? What was the major lesson you learned starting your career in your midlife? Like, you know, you were saying when you're on that stage, you're like, damn, why didn't I do this earlier? But is there now a piece of you that's like, I'm actually grateful at the way everything has worked out, the way it's worked out, timeline wise.

[C]

I think if you look back at whatever you spent your years doing as experience that built towards it, it's empowering. Like, I'll give you an example. I got cast in Kevin Hart's comedy competition called Lift Comics. This was during the height of the pandemic. I got cast in this thing. And the job was that all of us comics had to drive Lyft cars. You know, Uber. Lyft. Lyft, yeah. And pick up passengers and make them laugh. They didn't know we were comics, but at the end of each journey, they would be asked to rate us. And whoever got rated the highest would win. I remember showing up for this thing and thinking, I'm gonna wipe the floor with these comics because I'm a mom who's been driving kids for 15 years. If you can hold the attention of your kid's soccer team, like, one passenger who's sitting and actually listening to you, should not be hard to do. But what that experience taught me is that I learned to value my experiences as a mother. I didn't need the world to tell me that all those years of driving around and picking and dropping each kid off safely with all their socks intact and everything that I did had value. So we have to understand and truly believe that everything that we're doing is valuable and is leading up to something. And now every project that I get, like, I do huge speaking engagements. 15, 20,000 people. They're all people. They're all people. And if you're Indian, you've been to a huge, massive wedding where you're trying to commandeer attention from, like, people in five different directions. It's all the same thing. Like, everything that I've done, I try to leverage into what I'm doing.

[A]

What do you. The world's kind of fucked up right now. There's a lot happening. And most people I watch, your Instagram are kind of sitting in this moment of, like, perpetual feeling fear that some massive shoe is going to drop and the world's going to end. And it often feels like more. We've needed comedy and to laugh and levity more than ever before. Like, how do you think about that?

[C]

I think that that's the aspect that gives me a sense of purpose, because I get recruited for very complex jobs now. Like, you can't even believe. In fact, during COVID I did zoom funerals. There were funerals that they would hire me for because they didn't want to be sad. They're like, this person would never want us to be crying. And I would have to write, like, a very dark 15 minute set about, like, why it's a good thing he's gone and not dealing with this shit show of a universe that we're left with.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

You know, I get recruited to go visit with people that are, like, in very, very difficult health situations. At msk, these people can't even leave their rooms. So I get recruited to come in and bring some joy into their lives. Those moments have given me a sense of purpose. Like, when I sit and think, like, am I really a comic? Like, what am I doing? Those moments remind me. Because not only do I get recruited for them, they're very hard jobs to execute. I can't think of two people on earth who can execute those jobs. It has to be a mother. It has to be a mother who has had to have the empathy of mothering for all these years, who has been through the ups and downs of being in a hospital and being through all of it, has to come together with a joke and a punchline to make that moment happen.

[A]

Damn, Zara, you make being a mom cool.

[C]

It's cool.

[A]

And, like, a badass boss bitch thing.

[C]

100%. It's like, once we start thinking of all the things we've done as mothers, you know, I go into meetings in Hollywood and, you know, Hollywood will be like, don't send this email now because we're entering Oscar weekend. So, like, now, like, from tomorrow, everybody's off. Cause they're all getting their lymphatic drainage massages because they gotta look good for Oscar. Think of the mothers we never off.

[A]

No, never. No vacation days.

[C]

In fact, the weekends and holidays are like double work. Because everybody's home.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Now I'm like. I'm very aggressive to point out to people, oh, okay. This is your holiday, not mine.

[A]

Yes. I love it.

[C]

I'm gonna be working.

[A]

Cause we always fucking work. All right, so last question. What advice do you have for women who are looking to either pivot their lives with a new career or explore life outside the home in midlife? And I don't want to just talk about this in the sense of career, because I think for a lot of women, they're looking for experiences. Like, I always say, like, as an Indian, right? I'm, like, so fucking frigid.

[C]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Like, and I have so much fricking fear, and there's so much shit I just have never done or just are terrified to do. Like, and I think this is, like, the moment in life, like, to do it.

[C]

Our culture definitely, like, glamorizes fear. Everything is, like, this is bad. This is bad. This is the thing that liberated me. And I can tell you that it liberated me. Hopefully, it liberates your listeners and viewers. Whatever we are afraid of is the least likely to happen. Bad shit is going to happen. But it's usually the unpredictable stuff. So that's why we get caught off guard Even today in 2025, when a tsunami happens and we're like, but we have all the tools to predict, but yet it's the one you don't see coming. So sitting in fear is like not actually helping you because A, you can't prevent it and B, I guarantee you whatever you're afraid of is not the crisis you will deal with. You're going to deal with a different crisis. And you have to have faith that the answer is not in whether you have a solution. The answer is that you are the solution. You will figure it out. Have that faith and free yourself to take chances. Use the fact that everybody is so social media obsessed that they're looking at themselves. So when you're rising and falling and failing and all, nobody actually looking, nobody cares. So use that.

[A]

Well, I can't wait to read your book. And I can't wait. So thank you. This was great. And I was going to be like, I want to know where your secret shows are because clearly I'm not on the invite list and I need.

[C]

No, no, you gotta come. I'm gonna send you.

[A]

Will you promise?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Promise.

[C]

Absolutely.

[A]

Pinky promise. I'm gonna come find you because I'm die. I'm like literally dying to see you live.

[C]

You will come. You'll have a blast. I will invite you, bring all your friends, bring your mom, uncle.

[A]

Alrighty.

[C]

Amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you for the opportunity.

[A]

I can't wait to watch one of Zarna's shows live. Be sure to grab her new book, this American Woman, a one in a billion memoir. One last thing, thank you so much for listening to my so called Midlife. If you haven't yet, now's a great time to subscribe to Lebanon Premium. You'll get bonus content. Like me and Dr. Becky talking about making sure we're taking care of ourselves and not just taking care of others. Just hit the subscribe button on Apple podcasts or for all the other podcast apps, head to Lemonada Premium to subscribe. That's lemonadapremium.com thanks and we'll be back next week. I'm your host, Reshma Sajani. Our associate producer is Isaura Acevez and our senior producer is Chrissy Pease. This series is sound designed by Ivan Kurayev. Ivan also composed our theme music and performed it with Ryan Jewell and Karen Waltock. Our VP of new content is Rachel Neal. Special thanks to our development team, Oja Lopez, Jamila Zahra. Williams and Alex McGowan. Executive producers include me, Reshma Sajani, Stephanie Whittles Wax, and Jessica Cordova Kramer. Series consulting and production support from Katie Cordova. Help others find our show by leaving a rating and writing a review and let us know how you're doing in midlife. You can submit your story to be included in this [e-mail] midlife follow my so called Midlife wherever you get your podcasts or listen. Ad free on Amazon Music with your prime membership. Thanks so much for listening. See you next week. Bye. You know when you're just going about your busy day and a voice asks you something like why do people have crushes? Or do dogs know their dogs? The Brainz Podcast is here to help. Every episode answers tough questions with funny skits, cool facts and more. It's a science show for kids of all ages. Whether you grew up with jfk, mtv, TLC or tmz, brainson is for you.

[B]

Listening may induce uncontrollable laughter and turn backseat squabbles into harmonious car trips. Find brains on wherever you get your podcasts.

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Are you looking for ways to make

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your everyday life happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative? I'm Gretchen Rubin, the number one best

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the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast. My co host and happiness guinea pig

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is my sister, Elizabeth Craft.

[A]

That's me, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer in Hollywood. Join us as we explore ideas and hacks about cultivating happiness and good habits. Check out Happier with Gretchen Rubin from Lemonada Media.