Podcast Summary: "Revisit: Work-Life Balance Is a Lie"

Podcast: My So-Called Midlife with Reshma Saujani
Host: Reshma Saujani (Lemonada Media)
Guest: Thasunda Brown Duckett, President & CEO of TIAA
Date: September 3, 2025

Overview

This episode dives deeply into the realities of midlife for women—especially around leadership, legacy, grief, and financial security—with a sharp focus on dismantling the myth of work-life balance. Host Reshma Saujani engages in a heartfelt, spirited conversation with Thasunda Brown Duckett, one of only two Black women leading a Fortune 500 company. They discuss the unique challenges and opportunities of midlife, the importance of owning your values, not your title, building wealth and sisterhood, and handling grief with authenticity.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Midlife Mindset & Personal Perspective

• Thasunda’s View: She asserts that midlife is the "best time in my life" (08:20), marked by perspective, grace, and confidence rooted in lessons learned over the decades.
  • Quote: “I'm giving myself a lot more grace. I am so much more confident on who I am. … I'm able to operate with a lot more intentionality because I have a lot of lessons that I've learned along the way.” — Thasunda (08:44)
• Reshma’s View: Expresses anxiety about turning 50, referencing common fears and anticipation about what shifts at that age.
  • Thasunda reassures her that embracing self-care becomes non-negotiable and liberating at this stage.

2. Leadership: Your Title Is Rented, Values Are Owned

• Thasunda shares that she sees her job title as something temporary, but her character and values as permanent.
  • Quote: “I rent my title, I own my character.” — Thasunda (12:41)
• She urges listeners to see their real assets—like curiosity and grit—as defining, not their professional title.
• The conversation honors intergenerational influences on leadership, referencing both Saujani’s and Brown Duckett’s family legacies.

3. Belonging & Representation

• Thasunda describes never walking into a room alone; she carries her ancestors, family, and icons like Shirley Chisholm and Rosa Parks with her.
  • Quote: “You don’t walk into any room by yourself. The rent has been paid, you are walking in through a position of ownership…” — Thasunda (15:15)
• Encourages young women, especially women of color, to claim their space and bring their unique perspectives.

4. Money: Financial Literacy, Security, and Emotional Baggage

• Personal Money Story: Thasunda recounts learning about the program Inroads, which changed the course of her life by connecting her with corporate America, despite early financial insecurity at home. (24:10)
  • Highlights how opportunity, not just talent, shaped her trajectory.
• Structural Barriers: Discusses why women, especially women of color, retire with less—structural exclusions from high-paying jobs, wage gaps, time out of the workforce for caregiving, and systemic inequities.
  • Quote: “Remember, talent is created equally, opportunity is not.” — Thasunda (24:35)
• Shares a personal anecdote: Her own father did not contribute to his 401(k) for decades simply because no one told him about it. (26:53)

5. Practical Financial Steps for Women at Midlife

• No Judgment, Just Action: Thasunda stresses that shame shouldn’t prevent women from confronting finances. Start honest and practical.
  • Quote: “When we know better, we do better, and we do it without judgment. And money is emotional.” — Thasunda (31:05)
• Actionable Steps:
  • Max out your employer’s 401(k) match ("don’t leave coins on the table").
  • Replace indulgent expenses (e.g., buy a Grande instead of a Venti Starbucks, move the difference into savings).
  • Online Shopping Hack: Add everything you want to your cart, wait 24 hours, then move that money into savings instead. (32:28)
    • Quote: “Click until it is almost laughable… wait a day, never check out… and instead move $100 into your savings.” — Thasunda (32:30)
• Building an Emergency Fund: Start small; evaluate daily habits to find savings, redirect windfalls from social spending.

6. The Power of the Sisterhood and Money Chats

• Reshma notes men talk openly about financial moves; women don’t.
• Thasunda advises forming “money group chats” for mutual accountability and education.
  • Quote: “Send a note out to five friends… and just make sure we're all aligned about money…I guarantee you the real talk. And there will be tears…laughter…and then we do the research and we get going.” — Thasunda (36:48)

7. Work-Life Balance is a Lie

• Thasunda candidly declares work-life balance unattainable and untrue. (41:38)
  • Quote: “Work life balance is a lie. … I shifted my perspective and I am into finance. So I said, I'm going to live my life like a diversified portfolio.” — Thasunda (41:38)
• Proposes living life as a diversified portfolio:
  • You only have 100% to allocate; be honest about your actual bandwidth.
  • Allocate intentionally: if parenting gets 30%, let that 30% be 100% present.
  • Be ruthless about your calendar, say 'no' to protect your allocations, and give yourself permission to shift focus as “market volatility”—i.e., life—demands.

8. Processing Grief & Loss in Midlife

• Thasunda shares the loss of her brother; emphasizes holding both gratitude for what was and the pain of loss. (46:48)
  • Quote: “Grief is love, with no place to go.” — Thasunda (47:19)
• Advocates for transparency at work about grief or personal hardship, noting that “your slip is showing”—i.e., people can see you're not okay.
  • By being honest about grief in the workplace, she encouraged others to take action on their own financial security (like adding beneficiaries), deepening the culture’s humanity.

Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• On leadership & identity:
  • “I rent my title, I own my character.” — Thasunda (12:41)
• On representation:
  • “You don’t walk into any room by yourself. The rent has been paid…” — Thasunda (15:15)
• On finances:
  • “Remember, talent is created equally, opportunity is not.” — Thasunda (24:35)
  • “When we know better, we do better, and we do it without judgment.” — Thasunda (31:05)
• On behavioral tricks for saving:
  • “Click until it is almost laughable… wait a day, never check out, and instead move $100 into your savings.” — Thasunda (32:30)
• On sisterhood:
  • “This is how we do it. We do it with wine, tears, laughter, and then we do the research and we get going.” — Thasunda (36:48)
• On work-life balance:
  • “Work life balance is a lie. ... I said, I'm going to live my life like a diversified portfolio.” — Thasunda (41:38)
• On grief:
  • “Grief is love, with no place to go.” — Thasunda (47:19)

Important Timestamps

• On midlife mindset: 08:13–10:27
• Values vs. titles: 12:37–14:00
• Belonging and representation: 15:03–17:38
• Money origin story and Inroads: 24:10–26:19
• Women & retirement insecurity: 26:53–30:51
• Take-action finance tips: 31:02–34:23
• Building financial sisterhood: 36:25–38:44
• Work-life portfolio philosophy: 41:38–46:19
• Navigating grief as a leader: 46:48–51:40

Conclusion

This episode is a rallying cry for women at midlife to own their stories, embrace self-care with intention, get honest about money, and reject the unattainable ideal of balanced perfection. Thasunda Brown Duckett’s wisdom and sincerity, coupled with Reshma Saujani’s openness, deliver both practical guidance ("click, don't check out") and soul-level validation for listeners seeking to live more authentically and bravely in midlife.

Recommended calls to action:

• Start your own money group chat.
• Re-examine your “portfolio allocation” in life.
• Practice grace with yourself—scars and all.

For more episodes and resources, follow "My So-Called Midlife" wherever you get your podcasts.