A Series of Wild Claims

Summary

Podcast Summary: My Therapist Ghosted Me

Episode: A Series of Wild Claims
Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
Date: November 14, 2025
Duration: ~44 minutes

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Overview

In this lively episode, longtime friends Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally bring their trademark blend of humor and honesty to a new round of “wild claims,” candid catch-ups, and tangents ranging from cosmetic treatments and trips abroad to reflections on friendship, pet cloning, flat earth theories, and male loneliness. The duo’s chemistry keeps the chat engaging, filled with friendly jibes, personal confessions, and tongue-in-cheek debate, all delivered in their irreverent style.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Weather, Seasons, and YouTube (00:15-05:00)

• The show opens with a rambling debate about whether it's autumn or winter, poking fun at each other’s knowledge of the seasons.
  • Joanne: “They set up, they're ready to go, and then everyone freezes.” [01:02]
  • Vogue’s confusion: “Is that an opinion or a fact?” [01:14]
• Banter about the number of YouTube subscribers, with self-deprecating jokes about being humbled by their low profile on that platform.
  • Joanne: “We're like, hold on. Are we maintaining a successful… No, let's put them on YouTube, watch them fall flat on their face.” [04:20]

Joanne’s Cosmetic “Work” (04:42-11:28)

• Joanne turns up “in disguise,” wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap, to hide post-procedure swelling.
• She describes, in hilarious detail, the various cosmetic treatments she receives.
  • Joanne: “I got the fish semen in the under eyes…this one's three times stronger than the last one.” [06:21]
  • Vogue: “Very turned on fish sexually, would you?” [06:36]
• Detailed riff on the pain and “downtime” of aesthetic treatments.
  • Joanne: “Six months time, I'm gonna be snatched to the gods.” [07:41]
  • Anecdote about a disastrous photo shoot after getting fillers, leading to an urgent appeal to the BBC to take down unflattering photos.
  • Joanne: “Do you know that Catwoman who died recently? … I was like a very bloated Catwoman.” [09:22]

Gigs, City Vibes, and Girls’ Trips (12:07-16:15)

• Joanne recounts recent shows and the vibe in Derry and Liverpool, with plenty of love for both cities.
  • Joanne: “Derry's a cool town. It's like… loads of gorgeous little pubs you want to dissolve into.” [12:56]
  • Vogue: “Liverpool is northern.” [13:54]
• Spirited debate on “what counts as up north” in England.
• They reflect on the joys of girls’ trips and the replenishing effect of time away with friends.
  • Vogue: “Girls trips are good for the soul…my cup feels full.” [16:15]

Where the Single Lads Are & Audience Demographics (17:36-18:32)

• Joanne gives tips for single listeners: “Devonshire Pub in Soho—wall to wall lads.”
• Light teasing about audience occurrences: “Derry, wall to wall vag. Least amount of men in the audience.” [14:52]

Pet Cloning & Tom Brady Theories (28:03-32:46)

• Conversation takes a turn to pet loss, as Vogue shares her regret at not cloning her late dog after hearing Tom Brady had his dog cloned.
  • Vogue: “He cloned his dog. So the dog he has now is not the old dog, it's his new dog cloned from the old dog.” [28:54]
• Oblique reference to conspiracy theories about Tom Brady cloning himself, leading to broader (tongue-in-cheek) questions of ethics, science, and pop culture.
  • Vogue: “Supposedly this person is alive today… a guy called Drake May… Now, I don't believe that because it is unethical to clone people, but I'm on the same page as you—I’d clone my mom, too.” [31:20]
• The duo brings up “Pet Sematary” and the fear of what might come back after cloning.

Wild Claims Roundup & Fact-Checking (32:46-34:18)

• Joe, their regular producer/contributor, is asked to weigh in and fact-check their scientific claims.
  • Joe: “Hat trick of wild scientific claims.” [32:46]
• Quick digression into stories of mothers with 11 children, homeschooling, and skepticism about medical intervention.
  • Joanne: “I was watching on TikTok…she's had 11 children without a single scan.” [32:54]

John Lewis Christmas Ad & Masculinity (34:18-36:06)

• The hosts dissect the new John Lewis Christmas advert, discussing its emotional impact and its focus on father-son bonding.
  • Joanne: “So I watched it and I was like, why am I crying?...there’s all this chat about this male loneliness epidemic, and I thought it was kind of nice, giving something for the lads.” [35:37]
  • Vogue: “It's so nice. She's so sad.” [35:00]
• Reflection on contemporary narratives about men expressing emotion.

Charity Shoutout: James’s Place & Spenny’s Triathlons (36:07-37:38)

• Vogue speaks about Spencer’s upcoming triathlon challenge across seven continents in support of James’s Place, an organization helping men in suicidal crisis.
  • Vogue: “He's doing it for James’s Place, which saves the lives of men in suicidal crisis.” [36:07]
  • Joanne: “He’s managed to wangle three weeks away from the children under the guise of charity works…” [37:14]

Relationships, Ronaldo, and Being Looked After (38:10-42:11)

• The duo react to a viral clip of Cristiano Ronaldo crediting his relationship’s success to his partner’s looks and how she takes care of him and their home.
  • Joanne: “There wasn’t a single thing about her…that couldn’t have been said about a hot nanny.” [41:40]
  • Vogue: “Would you not say something nice about her and her personality and what made you fall in love with her?” [40:05]
• Both discuss how real love shapes up in their own lives, and the need for relationships to go deeper than the superficial.

Book Plug & Final Banter (42:26-End)

• Vogue recommends Eddie Jordan’s book, “Full Throttle”; all profits go to his foundation.
  • Vogue: “He’s hilarious. So I can only imagine the book…would also be hilarious.” [42:27]
• Standard friendly ribbing about not being invited to fancy celebrity parties and clarifying that “white party” refers to clothes.
• The show wraps up with typical self-aware, joke-laden outro.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Joanne (on fillers): “I don't have any blood. It's all filler now.” [06:05]
• Joanne (on Liverpool): “It was like a really autumnal Ibiza, if that's fair to say.” [13:30]
• Vogue (on pet cloning): “I should have been thinking, get him cloned…I could have just cloned them and had them here.” [29:14]
• Joanne (on conspiracy rounds): “She is extremely high on some sort of substance. I'm telling you, she's high on filler.” [30:13]
• Joanne (on relationships): “Ronaldo was talking about his partner like she was a hot nanny.” [41:40]
• Vogue (on friends): “Girls' trips are good for the soul…my cup feels full.” [16:15]
• Joanne (on wild claims): “You can forgive one [lost father]. Two, come on now, you're not even trying.” [23:57]

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• 00:15-05:00 – Seasonal confusion; YouTube stats banter
• 04:42-11:28 – Joanne’s cosmetic procedures & disasters
• 12:07-16:15 – Gigs in Derry/Liverpool; girls’ trips; “up north” debate
• 17:36-18:32 – Where single lads are found; audience demographics
• 28:03-32:46 – Pet death, Tom Brady, cloning, Pet Sematary thoughts
• 34:18-36:06 – John Lewis Christmas ad & male loneliness
• 36:07-37:38 – Charity triathlon, Vogue’s husband’s challenge
• 38:10-42:11 – Ronaldo’s relationship comments, what men (and women) want
• 42:26-44:32 – Book recommendation, final jokes, and outro

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Tone & Style

The episode is fast-paced, irreverent, and packed with good-natured ribbing, oversharing, and the kind of raw honesty that has built the podcast’s dedicated audience. The hosts toggle between playful self-mockery, heartfelt admissions, and social observation—never missing a chance to call each other out or to laugh at their own “wild claims.”

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Summary for New Listeners

If you’re new to “My Therapist Ghosted Me,” this episode offers an authentic snapshot of what makes the show so popular: a blend of wild anecdotes, candid advice, offbeat debates, and hilarious commentary on everything from cosmetic procedures to relationship dynamics and pet cloning. Joanne and Vogue’s chemistry keeps things light, relatable, and often laugh-out-loud funny.

Transcript

[A]

This is a Global Player original podcast.

[B]

Welcome to My therapist ghosted me with myself, Joanne McNally, and my work wife and athlete. I have to say, I think there is something nice going on at the moment. And I think perhaps climate change has a part to play in us. So, of course, nice but bad that we're having a very mild winter so far. Are we?

[A]

I feel like we always. Yeah, but we always get.

[C]

It is autumn. It's not winter.

[A]

It's definitely autumn. I know, but we get like, this happened last year. It's Winter Wonderland on Thursday. I'm going to Winter London on Thursday. And that's when the weather turns. That's when it's absolutely bitter. No one knows why, but that's just the day. It's like they. They set up, they're ready to go, and then everyone freezes.

[C]

The weather waits for Vogue to go to Winter Wonderland, and then it knows that it's time to change.

[B]

Like, the sun waits until you're leaving, sir, to come out. Is it autumn, Joe? Is that a. Is that an opinion or a fact?

[A]

Awesome. December, January, and February or winter?

[B]

Hold on. Isn't that up for debate? It's not a. Is that not it? I thought. I thought it was kind of. People are like, there's something. Are you sure?

[C]

Meteorological winter starts in December 1, so it's winter. It's always meteorological autumn from September 1 to November 30.

[B]

So November is autumn.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It is always something.

[A]

I play a game with Gigi. John, you ready? I say January, Your turn. What's next?

[C]

February.

[A]

I know that. March. You. Okay, Vogue.

[B]

You've made your point.

[A]

What?

[B]

Does she understand the seasons, though?

[A]

I certainly do. Do you know who doesn't? My mom. If I get another message about how nice the weather is in Spain, we get it. Mom, you. You emigrated when I was 18. And since that day. Since that day, you have sent me pictures about the weather and told me about the weather and how brilliant it is and how shite it is for us.

[B]

Sandra's made some good life choices, you know, we got to give it to her.

[A]

I do.

[B]

Sometimes I do feel like I'm a person who should winter somewhere else, but then I absolutely do love. Like I say, when it's mild like this, I love it. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not quite a pumpkin spice latte girl, but I. I like the aesthetic, the vibe, the leaves, the autumnalnesses. The autumnalness. I do enjoy, I will say. Although I think I got Into Bangkok for New Year's, are you.

[A]

She just took these things at us.

[B]

Like, what I'm gonna go large for. I think me and Brandon were talking about. I think. I think we're gonna go large. I think I'd go to Bangkok for news. Yeah, I think it's time.

[A]

Jesus Christ. If you like, this is the Hangover. What was that, part two, when they all went to Bangkok.

[B]

Yeah, that'll be us. Bangkok.

[A]

Are you not going away for Christmas? I thought you were going away for Christmas to Tenerife.

[B]

I am with the family, so that's going to be very. That would be, you know, games and, like, the occasional spritz.

[A]

Although.

[B]

What am I talking about? Pat's as big a lush as me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The reason I am for. For our listeners who can't say anything, and for our four YouTube followers, I am.

[A]

Shut up, John. For our YouTube, that's. No, for the YouTube that's doing exceptionally well in these times. And we thank you for watching our YouTube.

[B]

For our 12 YouTube subscribers. This one's for you. I'm wearing.

[C]

Oh, no, there's more than that. Thank you.

[B]

Is that.

[A]

Is it more than a hundred?

[C]

It's more than 100.

[A]

Is it?

[C]

And we'd like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, God, how embarrassing.

[B]

Are we keeping us humble, you know? You know, keeping us grounded? Show.

[A]

You know, we started thinking we were great, and then they were like, we'll show them their YouTube.

[B]

Exactly. We're like, hold on. Are we. Are we maintaining a successful. No, let's put them on YouTube, watch them fall flat in their face. Are we.

[A]

Do subscribe.

[C]

If you didn't realize that that's available, do subscribe on YouTube now.

[A]

So go on, Quagmire. What are you gonna say, I look.

[B]

Like Quagmire at the moment? I am wearing large sunglasses and a baseball cap. I am hiding my face because I've had a little bit of work done.

[A]

Okay, let me guess. Let me guess where you went. You're in Ireland. I mean, you hit up Katrina. Katrina Institute of Dermatology. Am I right? I did, indeed.

[B]

I did. Indeed. I'm going to tell you what I had done, okay? I'm going to read out what I have done.

[A]

You know, I don't like you, lion, getting stuff without me knowing.

[B]

This tour has already added years to my face, and I'm only. I'm only on it a month. Well, I've done. I've done 44 shows so far. 44. Can you believe that?

[A]

Jesus.

[B]

So anyway, so I feel it in my face and I'm very much vogue, you know, I have terrible habits on the road and I was doing very well. But I've fallen into my wine and crisp spiral. It's very much wine and crisp bland at the moment, which I'm kind of. I'm going to climb my way back out of. Anyway, I sent a video of my face to Katrina and I was like, help. So she said, come in, start. She sent an ambulance for me, just my face. Just sent my face.

[A]

The rest of you followed after?

[B]

Yeah, in an ice box. Like a heart on the back of a motorbike getting donated.

[A]

But I'll tell.

[B]

I'll read out what I reckon.

[A]

If you went to give blood, they'd be like, no, thanks. Even though there's a sure shortage. You'd show up to the blood bank and they'd be like, you're. You're all right. We're desperate, but we're not that desperate.

[B]

I don't have any blood. It's all filler now.

[A]

Okay, tell us, why is your.

[B]

Why are your jails. I know. Yes, yes, I understand what you're asking me.

[A]

I wasn't gonna say gels.

[B]

I got the fish semen in the under eyes, but they, it, they, they've. I don't know what they. What they're feeding the fish, but this one's three times stronger than the last one. So the semen.

[A]

Is that what they said? Three times stronger?

[B]

Three times.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah, I know. You wouldn't want to be taking that.

[A]

Very turned on fish sexually, would you?

[B]

Three times.

[A]

Is there a smell off, you know, with the fish?

[B]

No, there's no smell. She's obsessed with smells. And then I have. Oh.

[A]

I'd like you to describe me in three words one day. I want to know what you. You describe me as obsessed with smells.

[B]

I think.

[A]

For sure.

[B]

I need some thought. Yeah, I had ultra all therapy. All therapy. Lower face fill art high contraction to under eyes is what I've had. So basically they. And it was spicy. It was spicy. But like I said to Vicky, who was doing it, as I said, holding back tears. I said, no pain, no gain. It wasn't actually about. But they basically, if this goes lower than Botox, but it's like they electrocute your face.

[A]

Oh, I know that thing.

[B]

Six months time, I'm gonna be snatched to the gods. And then of course, my under eyes will be like a child.

[A]

Gina went and got something like that done and she fainted because it was so painful and she eaten and she was driving home and they're like, you're gonna have to have a Coke and some crisp flavor before you leave.

[B]

What did she get?

[A]

I don't know, something similar to that. But Spenny only said to me there in Africa, cuz I got that MD Ultra Laser with. With Debbie Thomas that I love getting. And he was like, what's the deal? Like your. Your face is normal for about like two weeks of the month. And I was like, yeah, so what?

[B]

Yeah, and the rest, yeah. And the rest were investing in our future selves and we have to walk around like fugitives. But that's fine because it's all going to a good place because there's two days of the year we look fantastic and the rest is downtime.

[A]

That is so totally worth it because.

[B]

Whenever anyone says to me, whenever I get anything done, they're like, you need a bit of time. And I'm like, sure. And then I just walk straight out and go into a photo shoot or something. And that one time, do you remember that one time where I didn't listen and I should have listened and I think I'd have my lips. I think I'd had a bit of George in the lips. Anyway, went in and they did a really good job. It was just. I didn't give it the downtime. Had a photo shoot and you always think you look normal, don't you? Yeah, I was tagged. It was tagged in the photo by the BBC. They put them up before I'd seen them. And to say I nearly rang the front desk. I looked. Do you know that cat woman who died recently?

[A]

Oh, yeah. You didn't look. You always think you look worse than you do. You didn't look like that Catwoman.

[B]

I actually. Before the Catwoman started getting work done, I actually do look like her. A lot of people sent her to me. I do look like her. But then she obviously had the one. But I was, I. I was like a very bloated cash. And I rang, I was like. I was DMing the BBC and I was ringing the BBC and I was like.

[A]

Remove.

[B]

And they did in fair.

[A]

They did take it in. They did.

[B]

They had to. Was it I. Everyone was like, oh God, it's that one photo. I'm sorry, I'll show to you now. Hold on. Have it here.

[A]

I've just got to the point where I'm just like. I just kind of lose interest in. I just don't care enough to have it removed. I wish. I wish I was one of those people that like, even today I was cycling my bike home I was doing voiceovers for Ferry in Town and I cycling my bike home and I was thinking of people and I was like, they're always so glad they'd never be on a bike. Thinking of loads of people. I'm like, they're so glad. Never be on a bike, never see them on a bike. You know, it's just me going around my bike with my helmet and you. Sorry, we need to be more glad.

[B]

Me. No, that.

[A]

Get a call, send the car.

[B]

Do you want the photo?

[A]

Yeah. Oh my God. I think. I think you look like Amber, Joe.

[B]

I'm sorry. Now look at this. I know. People can't see it. Well, they can't if they're on the.

[A]

YouTube bit of Leslie Ash.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah, I know what you're saying.

[A]

That time she got the. But can I say your hair looks great, right?

[B]

Yeah, her hair is fine. Yeah, but it was, it was. It was an alarming. It was a sobering moment. So, yeah, so anyway, this is one of those times where there is downtime required and that's why I'm in disguise. But wait until six sick. Wait, give it six months. Wait until you see the stadium.

[A]

John's all right. Joe said something in your diary there. Six months time we have to compliment Joanne on how good she looks.

[B]

Yeah, set an alarm. Yeah, set an alarm, Joe.

[C]

Put it in.

[A]

Yeah, put it in the diary.

[C]

11 May then 11 May.

[A]

Oh, very important.

[B]

My Australia and New Zealand tour is now on sale. Melbourne, Christchurch, Wellington, Auckland, Brisbane, Perth, Sydney. Next April 2026 Joanne McNally.com I'm coming for you, baby. I told you I'd come.

[A]

You want to tell me about your week? We sometimes do that. We sometimes do not. But I want to know about your week.

[B]

I've been all over the place. I've been in Derry, I was in Liverpool. Can I just say. So they're both a vibe. Dairy is a vibe. Dairy is more. Have you been to dairy? Did we do Ghost and Dairy? I did Prosaka.

[A]

No, I've been to Derry with. I went to Derry with Elizabeth day before.

[B]

Oh God.

[A]

I had a boyfriend from Derry, a dairy boyfriend who was to be a doctor. Yeah. And I always wonder if he's still alive. Dr. Dave. Yeah, alive.

[B]

Why would he be dead? Was he dying?

[A]

No, I just always wonder about him cuz I tried to google him once cuz I think I was talking about him in my book or something and I was like, I wonder if he's alive, Dr. Dave or.

[C]

He was 79 at the time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's like, how much older was this sugar daddy?

[A]

A lot of money.

[B]

Derry's a cool town. It's like. It's got loads of these kind of like gorgeous little pubs that you want to dissolve into and spend the day and sink and pint. Do you know what I mean? And then Liverpool. Liverpool is a vibe.

[A]

Yeah. It's a great city.

[B]

It's a different. It is savage. I was like, why wasn't I coming to Liverpool on these girl weekends? When you always see the Scouse girls going up to London in their rollers on the train with their little balls of Prosecco, I don't know why they bother their hell leaving. It's absolutely savage. It was pump.

[A]

So glamorous.

[B]

It was. It was pumping. Every place there was. It was like. It was like a really autumnal Ibiza, if that's fair to say.

[A]

Yeah, but up north is. They're all like that up north. They all just have this like. They. They couldn't give a shout. Liverpool's up north.

[B]

It's not. Liverpool's not northern.

[A]

Liverpool is northern.

[C]

Yeah. Where do you think it is, Joanne?

[B]

No, Newcastle's up north.

[A]

So is Liverpool.

[B]

No, it's just more. It's just north of London. But they're not northerners like Liverpool.

[A]

No, they are. Northerners.

[C]

Are gonna have to disagree with you quite aggressively.

[B]

No, I know. Skaters were very close, confident friends, confidants.

[A]

Okay, okay. Well, when is winter? When is winter?

[C]

You've made some outrageous claims today. I don't know what's going on.

[A]

She's a flat earther. It's what's happened. She is a flat earther. And now standing.

[B]

If you're just round, why are we falling off at folk? I mean, I've asked you this a million times and you can't answer. So I won't have my politics questions.

[A]

They are the biggest users of tan, by the way. Up north. They're the biggest users of town above Ireland. So up north is the biggest users. And then Ireland are big.

[B]

Yeah. I was. I was mortified that I didn't have a curly blow dry done for my Liverpool show. And the. I was in the Empire, by the way. Sorry, this is what I meant to say. Derry wall to war vag. The least amount of men in the audience. It was the same for Prosecco. Same this time around. Liverpool was a mixed bag. I couldn't really see them, to be honest. It was. It was very dark in the other room, but they were absolutely savage. Great audience. I wish I could do another.

[A]

Sorry, I can't say reco and you're on here talking about vag. Where's the line where I don't like. Badge is my line. Badge is my line.

[B]

Sorry, you're right, you're right. Water wall Womb is better, I think, isn't it?

[A]

In like three months time, Joanne's gonna come on here giving me some records. She'll be like, oh no. She's like, no, it's cool now because I've said it.

[B]

Well, I am announcing my Australia tour dates quite soon, so I will be appealing to that audience. You wouldn't know what I'd be wearing flaming Galah T shirts and all for the next three months.

[A]

I'll tell you what, you won't be appealing to them. I am gonna do your Australian tours, tour dates, Vogue.

[B]

I would. And Joe, I'm gonna ask you. I know you won't come. That's why I feel safe in asking you to Australia. No, Vogue. Would you please take me on a girls trip to Liverpool? Please?

[A]

I will, I, I. Girls trips are good for the soul. I just went on a girls trip for my. We did another 40th trip. I'm sorry but it was, everyone was involved. It wasn't just me. Amber and Megan tagged along as well. But we went up to Glen Africa. Which you've been to before, which you have to come again. We all just are like, it's just good for the soul to be away with your friends, to just all be hanging out and to just be having such a laugh. Like I just, my cup feels full.

[B]

You know when you're like you haven't a pot to piss in and you're trying to fly somewhere so you have to do all that like those 60 hour round trips even though it's only a one hour flight and you're like that, you're going over Iceland and all to come back to Scotland from Dublin. Yeah. It took me, I don't know how many days it took me to get, get there. If I really wanted to go, I would love to wake up in a really f fancy 5 star hotel in Liverpool. Get, get, get a curly blow dry, get my hair and makeup done, get dolled up to the like a dog's dinner and go to the Ivy for the day in Liverpool. I was looking at, I was taking photos of the outside of the Ivy. It looked stunning. Am I too.

[A]

I can go to the Ivy in London? Yeah, let's go somewhere else in Liverpool. That's like.

[B]

And there's loads of lads There's a lot up there.

[A]

I'd. I'll go look at her whispering so no one else knows.

[B]

I'll tell you. Do you know what? As well. And this is a tip to the single girls, right? Because I get asked a lot about where their single lads are in London. I'm like, I do not know. I do know they were in the Devonshire pub in Soho. War to war.

[A]

I'm not gonna say that's a lovely pub. Even I for a non pubber I. Yeah. That's the only place. Ryan Tuberty lives in there. That's the. He. He actually doesn't even have an apartment in London. He just lives in the. In the Devonshire pub.

[B]

It's Irish sound and it is best Guinness.

[A]

Yeah. Great.

[B]

Food to war, lads. I mean, I don't know why. How. I don't know. Is he growing them in there himself? I don't know if they ever leave. I don't know if. I don't know if they're there against their will. I don't know if he's rented them. Was she. And who owns a book? I'm telling you now, girls. Tell you now, girls, if you want to do and you want a little flirt, get your ass in there. I couldn't get over it.

[A]

Or go to park. Run a Battersea park coming back to life, you know. Oh, really? But I thought you weren't dating until December 9th. No. Are we not holding out for that? I saw you age, by the way, the other night. Yeah, no, I saw you out the other night and I wonder if you're man to be. Saw that you were out. I was like, he's going to see that and say that little. That little Tommy. She wasn't free until the 9th of December. There she is out in the Devonshire.

[B]

I haven't spoken to him since we made that arrangement. Little does he know. I'm going to completely follow up with that in the morning of the 9th. Be like, tell me the plan, please, Marcus.

[A]

Should we give a shout out to Michael D. Higgins?

[B]

Ah, Michael.

[A]

Disappointing you didn't invite us for any of the parties is the only bad thing I'm going to say. We are disappointed we never got invited to any of the parties. But we're willing to look past that because two, two, two terms as the Irish president. You were so kind. And you left the house on Monday. You left us. You left it. And you know what? We didn't even have to take anything off your deposit. You left it spotless as usual.

[B]

We're we're six weeks behind the podcast, so by the time this airs, Catherine Connolly will probably have finished her term also. Yeah. And we'll be leaving the.

[A]

Well, she might, she might give us an invite.

[B]

By the time this air, she'll have had her inauguration. There was no invitation to that, Joe. You know Michael D. Higgins, don't you? Miggle? DD Irish president.

[C]

I do know Michael D. Higgins. Wonderful side. Old man, white hair.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Michael's wife, Sabina. Because for ages no one wanted that. We didn't feel that the new presidential candidates were really up to much, up to scratch. And we were kind of spoiled with Michael Diego.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he was, you know, he was a great representation of the country and he was just kind of very. What would we say? He just, he just, just a kind.

[A]

He's wholesome. He was kind and he was just like. He just had the right way about everything and he was just you on the right side of, of most things that he was. He was talking about.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, he was. And we were like, oh, would we not let him stay? Let him stay. But he can only. You can only do two terms, I'm pretty sure. So we have to go two or three terms. But then I was thinking myself, I was like, he should probably stay. And then I saw a video of Sabine and his wife. When I say she's being interviewed by Martinis about the fact that they were leaving. When I say she was buzzing to go, she was practically spinning and twirling with the excitement. And I was like, oh. She's like, it's non stop. It's 24 hours a day, seven days a week, it never ends.

[A]

And she's like, I get to. Can I just say I can't wait to go home?

[B]

And I was like, oh my God, this is woman can't wait to get out of there.

[A]

Well, it's not her house and if I. Yeah, but it's, it's. It looks like a cold house now. And I would mean. So I, I need to know the energy rating before I decided to move in there because. Yeah, if there's one thing I can't stand, it's being cold. And I reckon that has got a BER rating of D or less. And I. It wouldn't be for me. I won't accept. I won't accept.

[B]

Well, we're paying their. We're playing their heating bills, aren't we? Anyway, he has two huge Bernese mountain dogs. I think one of them's dead.

[A]

One of them died. Yeah. But he still has One left.

[B]

Yeah. So he has these two. He had these two Bernese mountain dogs. One left. But did you see all the people turned up with their Bernese mountain dogs as.

[A]

Yeah, as he was leaving.

[B]

Yeah, I know. It's the cutest thing. It was cute. So cute.

[A]

I know.

[B]

It was like this kind of presidential croft. It was gorgeous. Anyway, Michael, good luck to you in your next job. There was a lineup released. Vogue. It rhymes with fungal.

[A]

Oh, I know. I love watching. I'm a celeb. Is that what you're talking about?

[B]

Yes. Are you a celebrity vog? Is he. Are you. Do you have a fungal infection?

[A]

Did you not see that there? No. Did you see. The whole lineup was released yesterday.

[B]

Was it the whole lineup, though?

[A]

Yeah, it was released yesterday. It was. ITV released it and it was in the Daily Mail. And I looked at it and I thought, china, what a nice gang. What a nice gang. I love H. Ruby Wax. Who's your top to win that you saw in the lineup yesterday?

[B]

Well, I'm a big fan of everyone in there. Actually, I'm not. That's not true. But I'll keep my opinions to myself. One person I would like to. One person I'd be fascinated to get to know better would be Ruby Wax. I would. I'm a big fan. Do you remember her 90s chat show? She was off the. She's as mad as a box of frogs. In a fun way. In a nice way. I mean, I know she's also had some very serious mental health struggles and continues to do so. I just mean that I loved her style of comedy and interviewing and what.

[A]

I like about people is when they're interesting, but they're also interested. So, like, they want to. It's not. She's not just gonna. I don't feel like she'd be going on about herself all the time. I think she'd actually get to know people, which means then you get to know them.

[B]

I read Ruby Rox's book. Frazzled. It was very good. She's very, like. She talks the way she talks about her parents at all. She, like.

[A]

She had a bad relationship, didn't she?

[B]

Yeah, very bad. Yeah. She's been through.

[A]

But you're lucky with your parents. Aren't we lucky with our parents that they're so safe?

[B]

Very blessed. Yeah, we really are. Yeah. You know.

[A]

Jesus. Obviously not lucky with the dead ones. Hello. Do you know my dad's dead? Like, oh, God. I don't want to get it wrong, but he's dead tomorrow. Wednesday is his anniversary. I think he's gone 17 years and it's not mad. How long is your dad gone?

[B]

Which one?

[A]

You don't know? The dead one.

[B]

Oh, that one. I can't keep them. I can't hold on to the father for any more of them. I've lost two fathers now. I mean, that's just careless. One, you can forgive. Two, come on now, you're not even trying. Do you know, I was reading my link mining class in the Sunday Times Weekend was talking about her stalker. Actually was terrible. I. I had no idea she went through all that. But they were mentioning her. Her time in Celebrity Jungle and remember the white. Remember she had that iconic moment where she had this white bikini and she was like, under the waterfall and she's got. Her body is insane. To be fair, she auctioned off that bikini for seven and a half grand.

[A]

If you went in, what would you auction off in there? Your boots?

[B]

Bikini.

[A]

Those boots. Your bikini.

[B]

My water bottle.

[A]

I thought it.

[B]

I think the bikini is a little sexy. There's a little. A little sassiness to us auctioning off a boot. You know, we're not Elvis. I don't think anyone be that arsed if you had to pick out of that group like, oh, my God, Ron McNally. Shoelaces. Don't see that happening.

[A]

I'm just saying I'd rather I get more use out of the boot, to be honest with you.

[B]

Do you know any of them in there? Have you ever met any of them?

[A]

I met H at Glastonbury because I'm quite a big fan of his. I like his music and he was really nice.

[B]

I'm in there. Is he.

[A]

H. A rapper? Oh, I met Martin Kemp. He's always very nice. Kelly Brooke know her? That's kind of it.

[B]

I worked with Martin Kemp and his wife Shirley. They were doing that.

[A]

She's very nice as well.

[B]

Lovely woman. We were doing that interiors for charity. Interior show that Alan Carr hosts with the. The blind bear, whose name I can never remember. And your mom with the eye patch.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A fellow.

[A]

You and. You and I are just finishing off each other's sentences like no one's.

[B]

And I remember asking. I had heard this rumor that Roman Kemp, Martin and Shirley's son.

[A]

Yeah. Was also very nice.

[B]

Very nice man. Was given by George Michael. It was his godfather. And that George Michael gave him the royalties of one of his. As his present. Yeah. So within. Within 30 seconds of meeting Martin and Shirley kept. I asked them straight away was it true and it is not true. Oh, I know I know because I cut that out.

[A]

It's nicer to think. Cut that out. I like pretending things. I. I've just. Like. This AI stuff is. I've heard something real.

[C]

Last Christmas, the song by. Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Roman Kemper, billionaire.

[B]

Billionaire. Yeah. Auto better not be gotten any ideas about royalties or anything. He'll get. He'll be getting his credit union 100 quid a year like everyone else. Okay. That's all he's got. Make sure he knows.

[A]

Oh, he is. Have you. Did you set him up on a count? Yeah.

[B]

Ring Lauren Alexa back to.

[A]

Backdate it. He's three now, so you owe him a few. Right. Just give me. Give me 20 grand and I'll look after till he's 18.

[B]

I'm so ticked. I'd be like, okay. One of my other God children. I sent him money to buy a pair of runners, but I had no real reason to do it. And he. He said, oh, why? I went secondary skill. And he's like, started that last year and. Did you want. I was like, do you want the money or not?

[A]

I need to discuss something with you.

[B]

Oh, God, what have I stolen now?

[A]

You never steal anything. You just leave stuff behind. And you haven't been over in a while, so, like, it's feeling pretty light down there, to be honest. I'm waiting for that jumper, that fabulous jumper you had on. One day, I'll have that. That's why I didn't even look. I didn't ask you where it's from. Doesn't matter to me because I know I'll get my hands on it one day. But no. So obviously Winston died. We've just collected his.

[C]

What.

[A]

Did he tell me? Okay, but Tom Brady, you know, that he was married to Giselle, he plays for the NFL.

[B]

And I just say I am dying to see how these two stories connect. I'm on the edge of my seat.

[A]

He cloned his dog. So the dog he has now is not the old dog, it's his new dog cloned from the old dog. And to say I am seething with myself that, like, all I was thinking about was, like, is it weird to stuff him or not? I should have been thinking, get him cloned. I didn't even consider it at the time. And I'm like, honestly, I was thinking of flying to Australia and getting another Winnie. I could have just cloned them and had them here.

[B]

Would you really do. Would you really do that?

[A]

Joanne, did you meet Winston? Have you met Sir Winston? Of course I would have done that. And I Would have got you one, too. Everyone wants a Winston.

[B]

Does it work?

[C]

Called him Winston, the number two one. Would you call him Winston as well?

[A]

My dad, John, has had the same dog for, as far as I know, for the last 30 years. Because every. I picked him up when I was 8, took him for a walk. Sam. They're all called Sam. His dog is Sam. Next one Sam. Next one's. He must have had seven SAMs.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And if there's a new Sam, Sam's in the house now. New Sam. Why not? I think Winston. Imagine having a Winston. And I could. I could have made an absolute fortune because everyone would have taken a Winston.

[B]

I have a feeling they've cloned Cher.

[A]

You know, I think it's unethical. Here she goes again.

[B]

I think.

[A]

She is extremely high on some sort of substance. I'm telling you, she's high on filler.

[B]

She's too. She's too. She's been around too long to look that well. I'm. I'm pretty sure she's. I. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a couple of versions of Cher floating around. I don't. If I could, I wouldn't care about the ethics, but I just wonder what version of Pat I'd get. Would it be like Pet Sematary, where they come back kind of evil? I don't know.

[A]

You know, or just like it? Well, you don't know what personality supposedly this will be for you. Juwan, there is a conspiracy theory with your man Tom Brady that he also cloned his own DNA 23 years ago and that in. In this, like, experiment in North Carolina. And supposedly this person is alive today and he has real physical traits towards him. And people actually think it's a guy called Drake May, and he is a quarterback for the New England Patriots. And everyone's like, he cloned himself. And this is the. The product of his cloning. Now, I don't believe that because it is unethical to clone people, but, like, I'm. I'm on the same page as you. I clone my mom, too.

[B]

It's that. Not just having kids, people. Not just.

[A]

It's not.

[B]

You not just have a kid 23 years ago. 23 years ago. And he's no deny paternity. And he's like, I've been clowned now. Okay.

[A]

I'd clone. I'd clone my mom, but I'd also have to clone Spencer's mom. Couldn't. Come on.

[B]

And then once you start that, where does it end? Do you know what I Mean, I'd.

[A]

Be pretty happy with those two, to be honest with you.

[B]

That's where it ends. I just wonder what version. Like when you clone an animal. Like, I'm not up on the science of it. What are they like, are they kind of walking into walls? Remember, they remember pet cemetery, that Stephen King book and, and film, which is brilliant. And there was that weird witch it was built on. I think it was indigenous land. And they, the pets who were buried there all came back to life. And then the guy, they lived on.

[A]

The main road every time.

[B]

And then the guy, his son was killed by a truck and he buried the son in the pet cemetery. And then the son came back to life. But he wasn't the same. He was weird and evil. He was like Chucky doll vibes, I think I take evil Pat. I wouldn't mind. I take evil pot. We just fight lines.

[A]

But she'd still be around once you had something. Every time you open your mouth. Joe starts typing furiously just to fracture.

[C]

Hat trick of wild scientific claims.

[A]

So, Joanne, 9, 11. Would you tell us about that, please?

[B]

Why would I put poison in my body? I was watching. There was a woman I was watching on Tick Tock the other day and she's had 11 children without any of the kind of, without a single scan, without any kind of medical intervention at all with her children. And then. But she's on her 11th baby, she's 43, and someone was like, I'm guessing he didn't get the vaccine. She's like, well, I'm telling you now, I'm not going to put poison into my children's bodies. But yeah, so she's never got a single scan. And then there's, there's midwives underneath it going, this is really not recommended at all. And she's like, how dare you, you know, giving birth. I mean, it is and it isn't.

[A]

Also, it's a very dangerous thing for women to go through. But I mean, 11 children, I was awake with my three children at 20 past 6 this morning and thinking of, will I start playing classical music in the morning? Will that help? Will that help? Will it make my house a calmer place to be in 11 of them, you must just be lose the Hearing all together, 11 kids.

[B]

Yeah. And they're all kind of homeschooled and you know, it's all quite, you know, earthy.

[A]

Did you give her advice to the old homeschooling?

[B]

It wouldn't be for me. Yeah. I'm like, I would like to talk about something.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Joe, this is for you, Joe.

[A]

Get ready, Joe.

[C]

Okay. Do I need to fact check it? Do we know if it's.

[B]

No, no, no, no. I just mean it's kind of male focused. Have you seen the new. Have you seen the new John Lewis Christmas ad? No. Oh, Joe.

[A]

And I'm such a Christmassy person. I haven't seen it.

[B]

It's basically, it's. I. I watched it and I was like, why am I crying? I didn't understand. Has that ever happened to you?

[A]

I didn't understand. When I watch it, will I watch it quickly?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How long is it? Okay, give me two seconds. Okay. I've just watched it.

[B]

Isn't it. Isn't it gorgeous? Isn't it so sad, but beautiful?

[A]

So nice. She's so sad.

[B]

Sorry. It's just so funny to watch someone watch it in real time. So basically. So I watched it and I like you, though. I just started crying, but I was like, I don't really know. It's so. They're so good at pulling on your heartstrings, and I don't even know why or how. But then. So basically it's like this son and his father, and they maybe don't really know how to communicate that well together. And then the son gets him this album that was big when his dad was young and raving. I think it's. Alison Limerick sings it, and then it kind of takes him back into the memory of him raving, and then he remembers all the memories of his son being born, the son growing up.

[A]

Oh, it's so.

[B]

I know. But you know what I thought was really nice? There's all this chat about this male loneliness epidemic and that men are really struggling at the moment. And I thought. I thought it was kind of nice giving something for the lads.

[A]

So nice.

[B]

And it's less whimsical than usual. It's not a very whimsical art. Do you know what I mean? It's quite a real ad. And apparently they're saying it was inspired by that TV show Adolescence on Netflix. But then John Lewis are saying it's not because they made this. They decided to make this last January before Adolescence came out.

[A]

But anyway, I thought it's very good.

[B]

It's very good.

[A]

Speaking of men like men and their feelings and all that kind of stuff, Span is starting his run and he's doing his. They basically. He's doing it for James's Place, which saves the lives of men in suicidal crisis. It's an amazing charity. And he's starting his run so he'll have started it on Thursday. He'll have done his first. It's basically a try. He's doing a triathlon in seven different continents and he's trying to break a world record by doing the fastest triathlon in Antarctica. And he's also trying to do the fastest time doing seven triathlons in seven different continents. So he starts that on Thursday and he's doing it for James's face, which is that brilliant charity. And oh, my God, I feel really sad after watching that ad and I think. And yeah, so follow him. He'll have it all on his Instagram. Follow him and support if you can. It's a really, it really is an amazing charity.

[B]

But I'll tell you this much, he's a smart bastard because some husbands, they'll, they'll, they'll, they'll pull the golf cart and they'll head out for a weekend. He's managed to wangle three weeks away from the children under the guise of charity works. You can't even be angry at him.

[A]

I. Oh, I always think, because I actually get asked that question a lot. I'm like, well, because, like, it's like it's part of his work that he's doing something like this. Do you know what I mean? People go away to work all the time. And when I want to go away to work, he's back home being supportive of me. I'll have to start taking the bloody bins and stuff out now, which I don't like doing all his jobs that I don't like doing, that he does. I'm now gonna have to take over them. But anyway, good luck to Spenny.

[B]

Good luck.

[A]

See, I wouldn't want to be here. See, I wouldn't want to be.

[B]

Fair play, fair play. Do we do any charity work, folks?

[A]

I'm still getting your letters from unicef. I just opened them now. I'm like, oh, thank you.

[B]

Are you? The money was only resting in my account. Unicef.

[A]

I get a little double whammy. Put the glass back on. Jesus Christ. Look at it. Look at her eyeshadow. Show them, show them. You'll get a fright.

[B]

I'm trying to wink at you, cuz.

[A]

He's a man. He won't get us. Look.

[C]

Okay, No, I, I see it.

[A]

I do see it, Lizard.

[B]

It's going to a good place. Joe, you ate for four hours on Christmas Day. I'm going to look. BANGING. Speaking of supporting, did you see Ronaldo talking about his wife in the news the other day? And he got absolutely Rinsed because of it.

[A]

I did, I, I, I, I, I know about them cuz I watched her reality show on. I can't remember what it was on and it was just like you' watching this life that is just so far removed from anything that like just go on a private yacht the weekend like they have just like their life is wild. But I didn't see that. What did he say?

[B]

He was asked why he loves his partner or why she is the one for him as such. And his answer was quite pragmatic really. He said she's obviously, she's beautiful and she's got a, she's got a body that I really like. But that was said with you know, I mean I think any, he's access to a lot of those kind of bodies. But he was like she looks after me, she looks after the home, she looks after the kids. And it was very much how she makes me feel and how she looks after me and she, you know, accommodates my lifestyle and all this stuff. So of course the Internet piled on straight away, they're like may, May, she never mentions him. And then of course it got kind of spiraled off into the manosphere. Women were going, the women were going mad. And I didn't, when I saw it, I didn't know there was any backlash at all at the time. I just, I just saw it through when I floating through the algorithm and I did think way that is a very self centered take on your relationship. But then again then the men were piling in and they're like what's wrong with that? What's meant if you, if you want to be looked after and if you want to have your house run by somebody and if you have the pick of all these women and they are your demands and she, she is at home raising the kids and she's doing all this and I don't know, I was just like there was nothing but.

[A]

Would you not say something? Yeah. About her? Yeah. Would you not say something nice about her and her personality and what made you fall in love with her?

[B]

Yeah. There wasn't a single thing about her.

[A]

Maybe her personality was shite. She actually does seem sane. No, she does seem saying. I think that that's a bit weird. But I suppose when like he has this like strange level of fame that he doesn't live in the same worlds that we live in. So like maybe he's just like oh, that's why, that's why she, she fits into my life.

[B]

Yeah. She's to put like on me. He's spoiled as well. He could have anyone he wants. Do you know what I mean? So he's like, I'm gonna have anyone I want. I'm gonna go for someone who looks after me. Anyway, I just thought it was a very interesting take. I was like, may that. May that love never find me. But I do. Don't think I'm at risk of Ronaldo. Basically, if you're listening, back off. I'm not interested. I don't enjoy your take.

[A]

John's not gonna look after you, so forget about it.

[B]

No, forget about it. Ronaldo, look elsewhere.

[A]

Do you know what I mean?

[B]

Would you not be like. Well, actually, she's really kind. And I love the way she sings in the garden in the evenings. I don't know. I've never been married. I don't know what people do you want?

[A]

I know, but you would want somebody to say something like, Sveni did this really nice speech about me at our. At our.

[C]

At our.

[A]

At my 40th birthday in London. And he did say those things about me, like being a great mother and, like, looking after the kids and like, how, like, lovely our home was. But he also said very nice things. Things about me as well. And what he actually specifically liked as in me as a person. Because at the end of the day, you ought to be hanging out with somebody who you want to be your, like, best pal as well. Like, I couldn't be with Sven if he wasn't, like, my best pal.

[B]

Yeah, Like, Ronaldo was talking about his partner. Like, he was just. She was a hot nanny. Like, there was nothing he said about her that couldn't have been said about a hot nanny.

[A]

You know, she is an absolute ride.

[B]

But I do think a lot of men do. I think they do crave. I do they. I do think they want to be looked after. And I think there's, you know, there's a lot of women out there who. Who like to do it and are willing to do it, you know, I.

[A]

Like looking after people in a sense, but I like looking after most people around me. Within my life, but not to the detriment of my own looking after.

[B]

That's it. You gotta look after yourself first. Put your own mask on first. Isn't that right?

[A]

This is exactly it. Well, no, I think. Good. Oh, no, I do. Yeah, you're right. The airline says put your own mask on first. Put your kids on next for assisting.

[B]

Yeah, that.

[A]

Well, I'd like to give a little book recommendation.

[B]

Oh, Jordan.

[A]

Oh, A pile of mine. Full throttle. This book has come out and all of the money made from it, all the profits are going to his foundation, and he's hilarious. So I can only imagine the book with all the stories about Eddie would also be hilarious. He's got the Eddie Jordan foundation, so all the profits made are going to that.

[B]

I'm sitting here thinking, if he was a mate of yours, like, how come I just got invited to house parties with Amber and Megan? Would you not have invited me to a house party where Eddie Jordan was there? Now I'm like, hi, Sandra. Hi, Auntie Gina. And suddenly you're off.

[A]

Eddie didn't invite you to his white party?

[B]

Did he have a white party?

[A]

I'm sorry, he had a white party? Yeah, I was invited to the white party a couple times.

[B]

I'd be very careful.

[A]

It would have been right up your street.

[B]

Now, you could be having a big Sydney Sweeney moment there. You'd want to clarify exactly what you mean by that.

[A]

White clothing, everybody. White clothing.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Good to be clear.

[B]

Good to be clear.

[A]

Look. Oh, look, she's raging. She's only going for me because she wasn't invited to the white party herself. No white person. Well, everybody, thank you for listening. That has been the podcast.

[B]

Oh, well done.

[A]

See you later.

[B]

See you later. That was the podcast. In case anyone was wondering what that was.

[A]

That's what we did there. That was. Yeah. And please don't. Anything that Joanne said.

[B]

What the was that? Does anyone know what that was?

[A]

Oh, do you know what? I don't know. I worry people are now going to start thinking it's summertime hell.

[B]

What?

[A]

Do you know what this reminds me of? Reminds me of when I got that blow dry. You two little there laughing away at me.

[B]

I mean, I'd say three times a month I get sent photos of Afghan hounds. That one really stuck. Some stuff you say, and it just goes off into the. It's not going anywhere.

[A]

I don't care. I'm actually quite happy about that. This has been a global player, original production.