A warning about Ibiza...

Summary

My Therapist Ghosted Me – “A Warning About Ibiza...”
Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
Date: July 24, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Vogue and Joanne catch up on chaotic summers, family birthdays, career news, and the perpetual madness of Ibiza getaways. With their trademark irreverence, they riff on everything from work-life balance and holiday plans to urban legends about lost babies and alligators. Sprinkled throughout is their hilarious and honest advice—qualified or not—and plenty of laugh-out-loud moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life Updates & Summer Chaos (00:02–04:43)

• Summer Disarray:
  Vogue is back from Ibiza after a work trip and now staying at her mum’s, aiming to “work from here and during the summer all the time.”
• Joanne’s Summer Drinking Plans:
  Joanne gleefully pours a glass of champagne and remarks: “Different lives. Guys, the struggle is real.”
• Work-from-Anywhere Lifestyle:
  Both hosts reflect on the privilege of flexible work, with Vogue declaring: “We’re lucky in the jobs that we do.” (08:11)
• Parenting & Parties:
  Vogue describes shopping for Gigi’s birthday gifts, delighting in nostalgia—and practicality for herself.

2. Work-Life Boundaries & Gen Z (04:43–07:36)

• Work Culture Rants:
  Joanne: “Gen Zs have really nailed...not working themselves to death like our generation.” (04:43)
• On Gen Z ‘Clocking Off’:
  Vogue notes: “You can clock off in some jobs, but in others, you have to sacrifice.”
• Bank Holiday Mix-Ups:
  Joanne relays accidentally emailing her management on a UK bank holiday, her neediness uncurbed by national calendars.

3. Scary Stories, Sea Swimming & Irishness (09:28–13:16)

• Joanne’s Sea Swim Revelation:
  Joanne admits: “I went sea swimming yesterday. I went in to the sea, inside the sea.” (09:33)
• Dark Irish Humor:
  Routine convo turns to floating babies, alligator attacks, and “Daily Scary Facts.”
  Joanne: “Is it an Irish thing? Someone could bring up the most innocent story and I'd be like, yeah, I've heard a story similar, except they're all hacksawed to death at the end.” (10:54)
• Fact-Checking with Joe:
  Joe, the producer, researches to debunk or confirm the hosts’ wildest stories—mostly about tragic sea mishaps.

4. Swimming in Twins & DNA Surprises (19:10–26:36)

• Twin-Spotting:
  Joanne has seen an unusual number of twins recently: “Five sets of twins. It was four and then I saw two.” (19:10)
• Twin Facts & Myths:
  The group gets into fingerprints, “superfecundation” (twins with different fathers), and “superfetation” (becoming pregnant while pregnant).
  Joanne quips: “We kind of sound like the Virgin Mary trying to explain why she's knocked up.” (23:26)
• Vogue’s DNA Anxiety:
  Vogue jokes about doing DNA testing and possibly discovering a different father—“I’ve been going on about this dead dad...and I’m drunk when there would be no need to.” (25:34)
• Joanne’s Adoption:
  She shares that, as an adoptee, the fantasy of finding a twin remained powerful.

5. Ibiza Adventures & Clubbing Realities (27:34–32:11)

• Party Strategies:
  Vogue admits to preferring daytime partying in Ibiza over wild all-nighters: “I like to have loads of fun...and then I like to go to bed.” (27:34)
• DJ Ambitions:
  Joanne considers becoming a DJ:
  • “I might pivot and go out to DJ.” (29:20)
  • “It doesn’t look that hard. They’re just playing an iPod Nano.” (29:25)
• Holiday Preparation:
  Joanne is training for Ibiza—starting her holiday early, pouring champagne, preparing for tanning, and joking about striking out with club managers.

6. Club Culture & Wild Ibiza Sights (47:05–49:03)

• The Viral Pike’s Voice Note:
  Joanne recounts an infamous incident involving a club manager, a party casualty, and viral voice notes—explaining this as essential Ibiza culture.
• Ibiza Airport Antics:
  Vogue reminisces about nearly missing flights after clubbing: “Joanne had gone out with my friend Megan and they kick the out of it, as you would do in Ibiza.” (49:03)

7. World Cup Mayhem & Halftime Show Critiques (33:16–44:51)

• Football-Related Chaos:
  Vogue gets drawn into the World Cup, describing late-night matches, surprise outcomes, and broadcasting delays.
• Madonna & The Muppets:
  The halftime show’s chaos with celebrities and footballers sparks debate. “Madonna’s come too far in her career to be performing with the Muppets.” — Joanne (36:18)
• Shakira’s Revenge:
  Vogue admires Shakira for performing after relationship drama, musing: “She held her head up high in all that. She got away with the tax stuff, too.” (37:05)
• Robbie Williams & Drug Rumors:
  They mention the viral ‘mint-not-drugs’ incident, with Joanne reflecting on public fascination with celebrity meltdowns.

8. Hair Transplants & Appearance (41:17–43:22)

• Joanne’s Hair Dilemma:
  Offered a hair transplant, she debates with Vogue, who’s not convinced it’s needed:
  • “I let you do most things...but I'm not gonna let you get a hair transplant.” — Vogue (42:18)
  • “It's happening.” — Joanne (43:22)

9. Mercury in Retrograde & Cosmic Excuses (44:51–46:57)

• Astrology as Amnesia:
  Joanne claims, “Once I got wind this was basically an amnesty for bad behavior, I think we should really lean in.” (45:13)
• Planning Around Mercury:
  Joe clarifies Mercury is almost out of retrograde—invalidating plans for cosmic mischief.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “Gen Zs have really nailed...not working themselves to death like our generation.” – Joanne (04:43)
• “Is it an Irish thing? Someone could bring up the most innocent story and I'd be like, yeah, I've heard a story similar, except they're all hacksawed to death at the end.” – Joanne (10:54)
• “You can be pregnant with a baby and get pregnant with the other baby slightly later. Oh God, is that, is that fake as well?” – Vogue (23:13)
• “Once I got wind this was basically an amnesty for bad behavior, I think we should really lean in.” – Joanne (45:13)
• “I might pivot and go out to DJ...it doesn’t look that hard. They’re just playing an iPod Nano.” – Joanne (29:25)
• “I like to have loads of fun...and then I like to go to bed.” – Vogue (27:34)
• “I let you do most things...but I'm not gonna let you get a hair transplant.” – Vogue (42:18)
• “The dream is to hook up with the manager of Pikes. The reality is I'll probably end up with the guy in the K-hole.” – Joanne (48:19)

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Notable Timestamps

• 00:02–04:43: Summer catch-up, work updates, glass of champagne
• 04:43–07:36: Gen Z work culture, out-of-hours work, holiday mishaps
• 09:28–13:16: Sea swimming revelations, Irish dark humor
• 19:10–26:36: Twins, DNA surprises, adoption stories
• 27:34–32:11: Ibiza party strategies, new DJ ambitions
• 33:16–37:36: World Cup and halftime show critiques
• 41:17–43:22: Hair transplant debate
• 44:51–46:57: Mercury retrograde and cosmic excuses
• 47:05–49:03: Voice note story, Ibiza party disasters

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Summary

This episode is a ride through summer mishaps, Irish eccentricities, and wild Ibiza dreams. Vogue and Joanne’s chemistry keeps even the darkest urban legends hilarious, while their real-life confessions about family, adoption, work pressure, and partying feel candid and comforting. Anyone seeking a comedic take on everyday chaos, or just a dose of delightfully unqualified advice, won’t want to miss this one.

Transcript

[Vogue]

This is a global production.

[Joanne]

I'm gonna stop taking my meds. That's a good idea.

[Vogue]

Like a really good idea, actually. Yeah.

[Joanne]

I don't know if you're familiar with Mercury and Retrograde.

[Vogue]

Can you imagine? I find out that my dad wasn't my dad. And so he wasn't dead. So then I had an alive dad. And I've been going on about this dead dad and talking about him all the time when I'm drunk, when there would be no need to.

[Joanne]

It'll be touching, inappropriate. I would say, culturally, what I'm about to. Before we kick off, we have some plugs to do. Pluggy plug. New York Pedophile finally on sale November 7th. I will be in New York. I'm also going to Toronto, Vancouver, Boston, Chicago, Salt Lake City, Las Vegas, Denver, San Francisco, Seattle and other places because it's just not in front of me.

[Vogue]

Do you remember last year I was filming a TV show called Renovation Rescue? It's finally coming out. Channel 4, Thursday the 30th at 8pm and basically we go and help people who've been let down by their builders who have basically left them with half a build or stuff that has to be torn down and they've no money left. They've gone through their whole budget and we try and help them get their gaff back on track and get it done and finish it. And it's actually really, really lovely. We do it with. It's a six part series. We've six different families who have been completely ripped off by their builders. And you can see if we can figure the whole thing out for them. But obviously It's a Channel 4 show, so there is always a happy ending, but it is film and I can't wait till the day because it's spoiler alert. I know, but it's been like. It's been a year since. Since we did it, so. So it's coming out now on the

[Joanne]

Imagine you're just driving off and there's a family living in a tent under a bridge. You're like, well, we tried.

[Vogue]

So sorry. Tough luck.

[Joanne]

We tried.

[Vogue]

Listeners, I excuse the noise for the next three minutes. This is just a soundtrack to my life. And actually to me, this feels quiet and very relaxing.

[Joanne]

And Joe has muted himself because there seems to be some sort of childlike domestic kicking off in his as well.

[Joe]

Yeah, there's children leaving all corners of this online podcast studio here as they dissipate and fade into the background.

[Joanne]

And I'm actually sitting in silence. I've just poured A glass of champagne.

[Joe]

It's just different lives, isn't it?

[Joanne]

Different lives. Guys, the struggle is real.

[Vogue]

Who has made the better life choice?

[Joe]

Who could say?

[Vogue]

We shall let you decide. It would very much seem like Joanna. Well, she looks very relaxed and happy. Very relaxed, well rested.

[Joanne]

Champagne. But I am the one going to be looked after by an Android when I die. So at least you guys will have family around you.

[Vogue]

No, no. You're putting in the work at my kids. You came to the party, you're putting in the work. You know. You know they're gonna be around the corner from you.

[Joanne]

Well, when Otto finally understands what money is, I feel like then our relationship can begin. But while he's still tossing it on the ground like it's an apple core, we've room to go. How was Gigi's birthday party? Did it kick off?

[Vogue]

Oh, Gigi's party was so like it's. I just am obsessed with going to toy shops and looking around and trying to find things. Absolutely loved as a child. And that also I could possibly get a bit of use out of. So I got her this thing for the pool. Do you remember like if. Well, you probably don't do it, but if I go on holiday sometimes. You see these sea bobs. I was on a shirt. I was on a pedal boat yesterday. Like I love.

[Joanne]

Where are you by the way? Are you back from Ibiza now?

[Vogue]

I'm back from Ibiza. I went to Ibiza for two days for a job with Amber and now I'm back from Ibiza and I'm back at my mom's house.

[Joanne]

Grace, you're back at the mainland. Okay.

[Vogue]

Where I intend on. Because I would. I don't want to be known as the Julie of Ireland forever. This is going to be my. My plan is that I will spend like I will work from here and during the summer all the time. That's my life goal.

[Joanne]

Yeah, that. That's. That is nice. You're non dom. Actually maybe. No. Stop getting out Rage.

[Vogue]

I do think it's nice to. To be able like. Like I'm lucky that like and as are you. Like we can take our jobs around with us. Yeah. And doing like. It's just. I can work from here. Spanish. Just flown home to London today for a few days. Because it's not. It's not actually that far. I'd rather work from here where I can.

[Joanne]

And then it's the dream.

[Vogue]

It is the dream. Well, it's a dream. Working from reality. Yes.

[Joanne]

I have friends who. They were working from home and then their company threw a tantrum and just said everyone has to come back into the office and it's a, it's very hard if you're used to working from home and suddenly you're back in office life, they're hating it. Do you want to think about the Gen Z is. I know everyone says they criticize Gen Z's and say they're lazy and they lack purpose and they're rude and other things and they're entitled and you know, they're like overly sensitive and easily shocked, etc. However, one thing the Gen Zs have really nailed is their work ethic. They're not, they're not working themselves to death like our generation. It was like a flex. You're like, I'm working so hard. I'm working hard. I'm always working. It was like you worked yourself into the ground and that was what was seen as status and professional and successful. Like if you could breathe in the day, if you weren't up at 3am doing emails, you're not working like you're not a success. Whereas they're better at saying, no, no, I've clocked off, it's five o', clock, I'm out.

[Vogue]

I think that they might, may have gone, in my opinion. I think they may have gone a step too far with the.

[Joanne]

I think I'm just flagging now. Do you want another Daily Mail headline? I'm here to protect you.

[Vogue]

I'm just saying there's nothing wrong with work and working hard to get to where you want to be. I don't think that you can like you can, you can work to a certain point. I think in certain jobs it's, it's easier to be able to clock off. But there are jobs in this world if you want to do. You can't really always clock off. That's just the reality of it.

[Joanne]

I agree with that.

[Vogue]

Working in a management company like they're like. I try to avoid contacting any of my like management or anyone like that outside of office hours as much as I can. But sometimes you have to. And I think they have to be on for like everyone that they manage all the time, which would be a difficult job. But if that's the career you choose, you have to sacrifice.

[Joanne]

But who are you? Who are you? I feel like this is a direct message to somebody.

[Vogue]

I just, I look, I. John in

[Joanne]

the office, I can't call you on a Sunday morning if I want to

[Vogue]

now it's. If you are listening, if you're listening that holiday you took last week. Forget it. Yeah.

[Joanne]

The time is not been taken off. I have it sometimes because I work weekends, so it's. It's tricky and I do. I think I am very contained. Like, I wouldn't if it was only if I needed something. Do you know what I mean? Like information about a show or something. But like, I. I am working.

[Vogue]

I guess sometimes I'll apologize, though, like, if it's a Sunday night, I'm like, sorry, send. I'm sorry. I'm sending this email on a Saturday night. I don't expect a response till Monday, but it's just in my head now, so I'm just getting it over there and then I don't. I don't want to response, but I just want to know that I've done it because I'm the same as you. Sometimes we might have a Monday off instead of a Saturday or Sunday.

[Joanne]

Mine is because I. Because I live and live in the uk, but I'm obviously Irish and I am. I get very confused about the bank holidays, so I'd be banging out. I remember one time I've been banging out emails to my English agency for hours. Do you know? And you just. I obviously taken some medications and I was just like in the zone. And I was like, where is this and what about that and how am I getting there and what's happening? What are the sales of this? And in fairness, they were replying at the start and then Rick was like, mate, you know, it's my call to hear. And I was like, oh, my sincerest apologies. My content.

[Vogue]

I think it's worth stealing a bank holiday off somebody than it is. Yeah, Sunday. I'd rather someone stole my son. Dave, don't touch my. They're saying that I haven't had a bank holiday in ages. I don't know how it works out, but I'm either in Ireland when the bank holidays in the UK and then I'm in the UK when the bank holidays in Ireland, so it never. I've got someone mailing me from somewhere. Anyway, we're very lucky in the jobs that we do. Thank you very much.

[Joanne]

Exactly. And I was like, sorry, should I take all this hectic neediness over to my Irish agency for the afternoon and I'll see you guys tomorrow.

[Vogue]

They're.

[Joanne]

I didn't know. Sorry, I didn't know.

[Vogue]

They're in the blue stripe bag and it's in a little. It's in a little blue bag. In the blue stripe bag. Sorry, guys. Goggle alert. Goggle Alert. They can't find their goggles.

[Joanne]

Where are they? What a life these children lead. Are they go. Are they going scuba?

[Vogue]

They go scuba.

[Joanne]

Are they going scuba? Are they going scuba?

[Vogue]

I bought this thing for her birthday and the worst thing I ever did was not buy 2 cuz there's just been war over it. That's what I was trying to tell you. Like a seabob. I half got into the story and then I pulled out. So sea bob is this like. It's like, it's like divers and stuff use them, but they use like really expensive proper ones that like drag you around the sea and like you basically take it underwater and it's like this mechanical thing. You'd love it, Joanne. It take. You don't have to swim, it just drags you around. So they're off down to go see bobbing in the pool.

[Joanne]

Sorry, I have huge news.

[Vogue]

Oh yeah, huge news.

[Joanne]

You know the way I don't like getting wet and I've been very clear about it. Yeah, I went sea swimming yesterday. I went in to the sea, inside the sea.

[Vogue]

Where'd you get up to?

[Joanne]

All the way? I. I had to wash my hair. Oh, how far down I went.

[Vogue]

Who took you?

[Joanne]

Excuse you, My friend went in. My friend.

[Vogue]

I was gonna say, was it that dog keeper in there?

[Joanne]

She's like, are you actually getting in? And I was like, yeah, I said, I get in. She goes, you say that all the time. You never actually get in. You don't like getting wet. I was like, I'm do, I'm doing it, I'm doing it.

[Vogue]

How long for the mental health?

[Joanne]

And then I was like, I walked in, I paddled around for a bit and then I got out and then I spent the rest of the day hoping that people would smell the waft of sea salt off me because I was like, I'm a sea swimmer now.

[Vogue]

Wait, you probably swim. Did you do like breaths?

[Joanne]

I did breath breast strokes across because obviously you never go out.

[Vogue]

Oh my God. Well done.

[Joanne]

And, and one was like you. All you do is tell me horrific news you want because there was a kid there on a little dolphin blow up thing and I was like, grief

[Vogue]

gazette, I do that all the time.

[Joanne]

Is it an Irish thing? Someone could bring up the most innocent story and I'd be like, yeah, I've heard a story similar, except they're all hacksawed to death. At the end. We were swimming and I was like, did you hear about the woman who had her arms ripped off by an alligator? She's Like, I didn't. Joanne. Our algorithms are very different. And I was like, there was a child float a past on a dolphin blow up thing. Not a real one. That would be very cool though. And I was like, do you remember the.

[Vogue]

Frowned upon now. Frowned upon.

[Joanne]

Frowned upon getting swoon on dolphins. Do you remember the woman who went out in the. Lila was never seen again. She's like, I didn't. Joanne, again, I didn't.

[Vogue]

Do you ever remember the baby who went out on a boat? They put the baby. They put the baby on a little blow up boat thing. Like a baby baby in one of those rings gone. Poof. Yeah, yeah. Well, just hang on to your baby. Just put it on a rope or something.

[Joanne]

Oh my God, that's horrific.

[Vogue]

Yeah, yeah, I follow this thing, it's called Daily Scary Facts or something and I just, I should unfollow it, but like it's where I find the bin men story and stuff like that, you know?

[Joanne]

Do you remember the story about the woman and she got lost at sea with her two sons and she sent her son back to swim to the shore and he made us. And like how on earth. I mean that's a, that's a real tricky conundrum for a parent.

[Vogue]

Then you know who the favorite is. Yeah. I'm gonna be swimming back in a heartbeat. My mom would be clinging on to me for dear life. Amber, you go, you go.

[Joanne]

I think I'd send my mum. I'd be like past. Come on, you're doing mobility classes now. You can do it.

[Vogue]

That. Who's more important here? Come on.

[Joanne]

I went back to Ireland to see my mother cuz I haven't seen her in ages. And it was a, it was a quick spin, it was a dunk and dive trip. And obviously I'm in London where we have been dealing with El Ninos and the heat wave and everything got back to Ireland.

[Vogue]

Stunning.

[Joanne]

I felt at sea. I woke up, I was like, I'm not even sweating. I have a duvet on me.

[Vogue]

I feel at sea. When you were at sea or was

[Joanne]

this out of the sea, after the sea? I felt at sea.

[Vogue]

Okay.

[Joanne]

I was like, I miss giving out about the heat. I. There was people eating soup in Ireland. I saw a woman eating soup.

[Vogue]

Well, you are on, my friend.

[Joanne]

I was like. I was like, I have nothing to talk about. I just sat there in silence for 24 hours. I had nothing to say. I have nothing to talk about. If it's not the heat wave, Amber

[Vogue]

and I, when we were in Ibiza, the Main topic of conversation was, Joanne's gonna die, isn't she? Isn't Joanne gonna die here? Oh, really? Every time we left, I was like, oh, Joanne's not able now. She won't be able for this. How is she gonna survive?

[Joanne]

I'm gonna die. Pat's like, I can't go out because the heat they've recommended. I was like, don't you dare give me that. Get out there and get your steps in. If I find you, if you put your Fitbit on a dog, because I'm looking at her steps, I can see her steps online. I'm like, get out there into that heat. The most you'll get there is a flu. It's freezing out there. Freeze it.

[Vogue]

26. It's the sea air in Ireland that blows in and it's just different.

[Joanne]

It was like winter. I went back on hinge. It's like, this is coughing season. It's coughing season. I had dinner outside. I was in a. I had to buy an emergency jacket. I was like, guys, this is not a he waif. They're like, well, it was a lot hotter and all. I was like, well, I have to take your word for it, I guess.

[Joe]

But before we move on, can I just say, for anyone distressed by the baby floating out to sea story, I've had a look and the only evidence I can find is the evidence of a one year old baby girl who floated a mile out to sea in Tunisia, but she was rescued, so I can't find any evidence.

[Vogue]

Joe, this is like in the 80s. I read about it and I've read about it. A couple story pops up again, which it inevitably will. I will show you. I know that you prefer it didn't happen, but it did.

[Joe]

We like 21 was rescued, she's fine.

[Joanne]

Well, that's. But that's a better story to tell considering we're an uplifting podcast. Vogue just loves like a fatalistic ending.

[Vogue]

Excuse me?

[Joe]

Excuse.

[Vogue]

You're talking about the girl who got her arms eaten off? Oh, she did. At least you survived. I suppose.

[Joanne]

She's an adult, you know.

[Vogue]

I know, but it's still sad.

[Joanne]

It's still sad, of course. It's just that she bled out beside on the side of the swamp in front of her three friends. Jesus Christ. Okay, well, do you know what I mean?

[Vogue]

They don't spit you out like a shark, by the way. Alligators will eat you. Like there was a man recently. And Joe, you can Google this as well, but it is from the Daily Fox. So he was eaten.

[Joanne]

I Love that. You're like, straight Fox. It's cnn. Yeah, you can Google if you want, Joe, but I think you'll find.

[Joe]

Get that on the Daily Facts.

[Vogue]

You try and find out what's wrong with this one, Joe. But. But he was basically. He was swallowed whole. And they actually had to take the alligator out, and they cut open the alligator and took him back out. Now he was dead. Obviously, it wasn't like Little Red Riding Hood or something. She just popped back out. He was dead. But, like, they do eat you. It's not like a shark who's like, oh, this doesn't taste nice.

[Joanne]

Yeah, look at Pinocchio. Wasn't he swallowed whole?

[Vogue]

No, Geppetto was swallowed whole.

[Joanne]

No, it's Pinocchio.

[Vogue]

Geppetto went into the whale. Geppetto was looking for Pinocchio, and then Geppetto went into the whale.

[Joanne]

We're gonna need that fact checks joke.

[Joe]

Okay, well, I'm still on alligators. And it says an alligator cannot swallow an adult human whole due to the limitations of its throat size.

[Vogue]

Joe, I didn't make this up. This was in the news.

[Joe]

Yes, it was.

[Vogue]

Florida, man.

[Joanne]

This is almost like Daily Facts.

[Joe]

Yeah, they can eat you.

[Joanne]

They can definitely swallow you, but they

[Joe]

can't swallow you whole. They can't.

[Vogue]

Okay, well, they caught his. They caught his dismembered body, Ace.

[Joe]

There we are, then.

[Vogue]

I was just trying to make it

[Joe]

more pleasant at that level.

[Vogue]

I was trying to make it more pleasant.

[Joanne]

Sorry for trying to add a bit of razzmatazz to the story, Joe.

[Vogue]

That's all she's doing, for God's sake. It was. It just sounded a bit better, I suppose the wolf didn't swallow Little Red Riding Hood whole either. Did he not? No.

[Joanne]

Didn't even eat the porridge.

[Joe]

Huh.

[Joanne]

Joe, fact check. Will you fact check The Pinocchio Geppetto incident.

[Joe]

Luckily, hopefully, everyone will be right on this, because both Pinocchio and Geppetto are in the whale.

[Vogue]

Jesus, he got them both.

[Joe]

Yeah, well, they get out.

[Vogue]

You were denying Geppetto?

[Joanne]

No, no, no. Well, I. I didn't really deny, but I knew for sure that I think Pinocchio very much led the charge and went in first.

[Vogue]

Well, I'll be throwing out the kids. I'll be throwing out the kids book that I have. Because in that book, Pinocchio is not in there.

[Joanne]

No, no, no, no. Vogue. One of your pages is stuck together. He's very much in there.

[Vogue]

I'm. That's. Actually. That's a real possibility. That happens more often Than not.

[Joanne]

Yeah, there's a bit of GG jam in the book there. Or she's. Her caviar fingers have gotten them. The page is stuck together.

[Vogue]

Well, I tell you about Ibiza. When are you. First of all, when are you going to Ibiza?

[Joanne]

Well, that's why I'm having the glass of champagne, because I'm going tomorrow. But I've decided that today is when the holiday starts. Today is the first day of my holiday. And I'm like, I'm. I'm. I'm getting. I'm getting involved. I'm gonna start putting a load of house music on. I'm gonna start packing. This is actually good tanning.

[Vogue]

It's good for you to do this because then by tomorrow, when you start drinking, you have to. You have to ease yourself in for when you're gonna really kick the. Out of yourself and then you don't feel as bad. After.

[Joanne]

I'm training. I'm in training. And. And Vogue. Wait until you see. Wait until you see the Bear by Vogue job I'm gonna do on myself. I know you're gonna block me and ask me not to post, but I am going 20 layers down.

[Vogue]

20. Why didn't I just get. I could have sent someone to do a spray tan on you.

[Joanne]

It'll be touching, inappropriate. I would say, culturally, what I'm about to do.

[Vogue]

Someone asked me yesterday if I was having twins. It went from people. It went from people saying, your bum's too small to, are you having twins? I said, no, I am not. But thank you.

[Joanne]

Do you know that?

[Joe]

And I.

[Joanne]

Sorry to. Well, you're not. So that's okay. I was gonna say, sorry for interrupting you, but, like, you're just nobody. There's. You're not having them.

[Vogue]

No.

[Joanne]

That's kind of it.

[Vogue]

Yeah.

[Joanne]

It wasn't interrupting a reveal there. Imagine I just jumped on. She's like, oh, by the way, I met a twin once. And she's got a big announcement. This is no word of a lie. This isn't even me adding Razbatas for the story. In the last seven days, I have seen five sets of twins. Can someone tell me if Hannah Fry was here now, she'd be able to tell me the likelihood of that? Five sets of twins. It was four. And then I saw two. Another set of twins. When I went, what I want to see is swimming. I saw another set of twins. It was Joe. What are the chances of that? Because that is, I thought, a glitch in the Matrix vibes.

[Vogue]

They're not that unusual. Twins are pretty. Like loads of people have twins. Like anyone. Yeah, anyone can actually have twins.

[Joanne]

I, I was like, this could be. This is like the Truman show. And, and they've. And they've hired too many actors. It felt like a glitch in the system. It felt. It was like lizard man vibes. I was like, how children though.

[Vogue]

Adults are children.

[Joanne]

Adults. And then one set time I once

[Vogue]

saw there was this set of twins and I saw them loads of times in, in when I was skiing. And they were dressed the same that, the same skis at the same sk. But they're like 34.

[Joanne]

I would do that. I, I know for sure if I was a twin, I'd be leaning into similarity. I wouldn't be struggling for difference.

[Vogue]

I wouldn't want that too much now. You know, sometimes. Well, in the kids school, they prefer to kind of split them up so that they can make their twins friends groups.

[Joanne]

I think they're fascinating. They're fascinating. I think they're fascinating. I think they're. I find them a bit strange, but I think they're fascinating.

[Vogue]

I met these two little girls in the pool because they came over, they were. They were little, little Irish girls and they must have been about seven or eight. And I said. And Amber said, are you two twins? And they said, no, we're Irish twins.

[Joanne]

Oh, they know about the Irish twins. Yeah. Does that. Do you know what Irish twin is, Joe? My mum's an Irish twin.

[Vogue]

13 months apart.

[Joanne]

Yeah. I mean, what that means immediately after the.

[Joe]

Yeah, got you. No, I didn't know that.

[Vogue]

Yeah.

[Joe]

There you are.

[Joanne]

The only thing identical twins have different is. Can you guess?

[Vogue]

Wait, is it internal or exterior? Exterior.

[Joanne]

Exterior.

[Vogue]

Noses.

[Joanne]

No. Fingerprints. They've different fingerprints.

[Vogue]

Oh, yeah.

[Joanne]

Yeah. Even though identical twins share the exact same DNA, their fingerprints are unique because they touch the amniotic sac differently as they move in the womb.

[Joe]

That what makes our fingerprints touching the amniotic sack?

[Joanne]

I don't know. Is that what it is? 3D scans show that twins actively reach out and stroke each other in the room starting around 18 weeks.

[Vogue]

Will we call it this pod? The Google app.

[Joanne]

Okay. I'm loving the twin data vogue. I have a question for you. You want me. But that's okay. This will be, It's. It'll be like me not understanding it. It's a retard. Perfect. I'll set it up like a question that you won't answer.

[Vogue]

Okay.

[Joanne]

Can you tell me? I will give. I will give you five pounds sterling if you can tell me what Super. Fecundation is.

[Vogue]

Well, I wouldn't have done it for 5 Euro, but since you said Sterling, fine. Super Of a condition, that is when non identical twins are found in the same sack.

[Joanne]

Very good effort. Wrong. I will not be revoluting you. Five stars today. Super. For condition, which I'm definitely pronouncing wrong. Is a rare phenomenon. Phenomenon allows a woman to release two eggs fertilized by different men during the same population cycle, resulting in twins with different biological fathers. Yeah, I mean, what are the chances?

[Vogue]

There's also this thing where you can have. You can be pregnant with a baby and get pregnant with the other baby slightly later. Oh God, is that, is that fake as well?

[Joe]

That sounds like someone do something to my phone.

[Vogue]

So I'm not reading this.

[Joanne]

We kind of sound. We kind of sound like the Virgin Mary trying to explain why she's knocked up. No, I am a virgin, but sperm can fly on the wind from the heavens and inseminate.

[Joe]

Oh no, you're basically talking about the same thing, what you just said. Vogue is super fet. Superfatation. Superfatation.

[Vogue]

Oh my God, that would be very unlucky.

[Joanne]

Can you imagine about one in five sets of twins include a left handed person which is twice the rate of the rest of the world.

[Vogue]

There you go.

[Joanne]

Why am I screaming?

[Joe]

Don't know. She's very excited.

[Joanne]

I'd love to be trained because obviously I don't know if I've mentioned, but I'm adopted. I'm an adopted ex publicist. You were always working in nursing home and.

[Vogue]

Oh, sorry. Also went and stayed in your hotel. I was like, which one?

[Joanne]

I've worked in loads.

[Vogue]

No, the one near your house. I was like, also Joanne used to work there. She used to clean.

[Joanne]

She used to clean the toilets. Yeah, shut up.

[Vogue]

I was like, why do I know if it's possible? I was like, oh my God, that's where Joanne works.

[Joanne]

I'm an alumni. I'm an alumni.

[Vogue]

So the toilet was very dirty. He didn't actually. He didn't actually.

[Joanne]

Well, as an adopted person and you're wondering like where you came from and the family and all and it was, it was a big dream of mine to be presented with a twin. It would have been amazingly weird, but it would have been amazing. I mean, you're not supposed to split twins, but people do. People split twins, you know, certainly back in the day when they didn't give a flying fandango. But it would have been my dream to be a twin. Sadly I'm not. Although I don't know yet. But, you know, I'm not dead.

[Vogue]

You never. You never know. Sure, I could be a twin. Sometimes I think Amber did her. Her DNA, and I wasn't very impressed by. By her stats. And I said, well, mine might be different. She said, yours are the same as mine. And I said, but you never know. Maybe I have a different dad. And I just never knew about it.

[Joanne]

That'd be so much fun, wouldn't it?

[Vogue]

Interesting.

[Joanne]

So much fun.

[Vogue]

Can you imagine? I find out that my dad wasn't my dad, and he. So he wasn't dead. So then I had an alive dad, and I've been going on about this dead dad and talking about him all the time, and I'm drunk when there would be no need to.

[Joanne]

It happens all the time. Like, it happens all it does.

[Vogue]

For. If you're doing that DNA testing, you actually have to be ready to get a surprise because the chances of you getting a surprise are pretty high. People hide dirty, deep, dark secrets all. All the time.

[Joe]

Will reveal your results on the podcast.

[Vogue]

No, I mean, if I have a different dad, I'd probably like to do that privately to begin with, and then we can share.

[Joanne]

We're gone. We want giant fat tears. We want to record the whole thing. The hugging on the end of the pier.

[Vogue]

That show makes me cry. My God. It's in the bag out there.

[Joanne]

Who's that? Wait till she finds out you're not a real mother. I'm gonna tell her. Just. Just it up.

[Vogue]

But you know what? At least I know. I know they're mine. Spenny doesn't know if they're his.

[Joanne]

Well, this is the thing.

[Vogue]

Yeah. It's not interesting to think about that they are, but he doesn't know that.

[Joanne]

I think there's so much going on in the world. There's so much madness. And, like, I know stories about people's parents dying, and it turns out they had other families. I know a lot about other family. Yeah. Being lied to, about who their parents are. There's like, kind of women who had birth really young, and then their mother raised the child as theirs, so their sister is actually their mother. It's all going on. It's all kicking off. Where did that come from, that conversation?

[Joe]

EastEnders, I think.

[Vogue]

Twins, as far as I know. So you're going to Ibiza tomorrow? I went to Ibiza, had a great time. Did not make it to Karl Cox. It was. It's. I. I'm not a nighttime girl. I think I'm more like. Like, I'd like to go to Ibiza next year and I'd like to go for like two or three days day, party it up. So, like from lunchtime till about midnight, have loads of drinks, have loads of fun. And then I like to go to bed. I. I can't be going to a club at half three in the morning. I just. I just. And you know what I was thinking? DJs probably don't want to be played at that time either. They probably want to go to bed.

[Joanne]

I mean, Vogue, this is nothing we didn't know. The chances of you going to see Carl Cox at 3am were about as much as me going to a pilates class at 6am it happen.

[Vogue]

It was originally sold to me as 1am and I would have made 1am really?

[Joanne]

Would you have even made one?

[Vogue]

I would have pregnant. I would have made. Listen, Amber and I, we were out till 12 watching the match, which was brilliant, by the way. I want to talk about the World Cup. We were out till 12 watching the match and we could have. I could have easily made it to one, but because it was half three and then I was thinking, I'm sure Kyle Cox doesn't want to be on stage at half three either.

[Joanne]

Oh, I'd say he's having a ball. You know, he's like the longest resident DJ out there. The biggest DJ out there. It's something. Something impressive.

[Vogue]

Do you know, I think he'd rather be on stage at 6, home by 11.

[Joanne]

No, I really don't. I don't think so. I don't think so. But now that I am involved in the Ibiza scene, I am thinking I got. There's people getting in touch with me, like, oh, I'm DJing here. Come here. I'm DJing here. I love to DJ.

[Vogue]

I'm gonna have another career change and

[Joanne]

like the Flores, I might pivot and go out to dj.

[Vogue]

Dj.

[Joanne]

And no offense to the DJ community, it doesn't look that hard.

[Vogue]

It depends the kind of details.

[Joanne]

They're just playing an ipod. Nano.

[Vogue]

There was. There was DJs and they called themselves the Faders because they used to just fade in and out of songs. So they didn't actually mix. So you could do. You could be Fader. You could just. That could be your name, Fader. Just switch in and out of songs. Just.

[Joanne]

I'll just bring my CD player. I bring a mic now. Do you know what those Fisher Price musical boxes with the mic. Yeah. I'll be ironic or something.

[Vogue]

Why don't you just use your YouTube app. Go all out. Use your YouTube app. You'll find great remixes on the YouTube.

[Joanne]

Yeah, exactly. Just like a house party. Look at Justin Bieber did. He just went up and played his old YouTube videos. I just want to be in the scene. It feels really fun. A lot of sequins, a lot of women having the crack. Vaping, having champagne, staying up late. Beach, sunset, sunrises. Great sense of community. Good tunes.

[Vogue]

Yeah. Joanne, you'd have to stand up there. You'd have to do a bit of work. You can't just go to the bar whenever you want. Like, you'd have to. You can't. We, like. Where are you Weing?

[Joanne]

Myself just.

[Vogue]

What you mean six hours? Six hours that you don't see.

[Joanne]

Well, I'm not gonna do. I, I'm not gonna do. I'm only starting. You're gonna book me for six hours.

[Vogue]

So how long are you gonna start? Are you gonna just do an hour set?

[Joanne]

No. Do you, like, stand up? We'll do a 10.

[Vogue]

John's coming up to play.

[Joanne]

I'll do a tight time.

[Vogue]

You could play a Solomon track to start with, which is six and a half minutes, probably, and then just mix into another one and then off.

[Joanne]

I know, I don't. I know. I, I constantly say I'm not into music, but I do have great taste in tunes. Glow Worm Carry Me Home. I would just play that on repeat because that's a really good tune. And I'd be like, it's the Glow Worm set. Do you want to come and dance to Glow Worm? Carry Me Home? Over and over and over and over again. Where are my ADHD girlies? Let's go. Yeah. And then, and then I, I, then I, I wouldn't, I wouldn't leave, obviously, but I would just wet myself, I guess. I mean, I've wet myself. Professional situations before.

[Vogue]

Drenched in sweat. Anyway, no one would know the difference.

[Joanne]

No, the difference.

[Vogue]

Wait for the stories. I don't know, I, I think if you just party at night is probably the best idea for you. Go into the club where there's air on and just stay inside all day long. Someone was texting me yesterday and she was like, I, we. We just stay inside for most of the day and, and go in and out to the pool sometimes, but it's too hot. Like, I, it's too hot to go to the pool. It's, it's, it is exceptionally. I don't know why it's so hot over there. Maybe it's gone down. It's the humidity. I don't know, it's. It's a lot.

[Joanne]

There's. There's a global heat wave.

[Vogue]

It's El Nina I got back here though, and it was like normal temperature and we're able to sit outside. It's not like gonna. It's not gonna. It doesn't feel like the pits of hell.

[Joanne]

I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna bite the bullet and get one of those neck fans.

[Vogue]

I just don't know. You think you're gonna have to take quite a few fans away. I would suggest packing that purple when you always use on the pod.

[Joanne]

I'm gonna stop taking my meds. That's a good idea.

[Vogue]

It's like a really good idea, actually. Yeah.

[Joanne]

Unmad.

[Vogue]

Drink all the booze that you can find. Yeah. And then. Yeah, that's a great idea.

[Joanne]

Crack into the industry by repeatedly playing Glow or Carrying Me Home. I've. I think it's going to go really well.

[Vogue]

What the hell is Glowworm?

[Joanne]

Carry Me Home, Joe, can we play it there? It's my song.

[Joe]

No, definitely not. If you're, if you're listening, don't go away now to listen to it, but do remind yourself to have a listen to that.

[Joanne]

It's really good. Yeah, I think I'd get married to that song.

[Vogue]

Did anybody watch the World Cup Final? Joe? I know you did, John. Did you not?

[Joanne]

I don't, I don't. I know what happened. I know it happened. And I knew, I knew, I knew it happened and I knew you would tell me about. Was so funny. The night that the, the, the. That the UK were kicked out. So I was in, sitting in my kitchen and I heard this explosive roar. Like it was like an earthquake. And I was like, oh my God, they've scored. England scored. And then just silence and, and people walking home past the house, just stone cold silence. You could just feel the disappointment in the air. Well, I'm sorry for your loss, Joe.

[Vogue]

They did. No, they came third. They did pretty well for themselves and they came third and they. In a match that had 6, 4 against France. Who were the. I don't know. I've gotten really into it. Who were the original. Thought the France were going to win it originally, but anyway, Spain, Argentina in the final. I was watching it outside the hotel. They set up this big screen and me and Amber watching it, but I don't know what was going on. Someone upstairs, their feed was slightly ahead of ours, so like about 30 seconds before we'd see a goal, they'd be like, way. And we'd be like, oh, waiting to see what happened. So, like, we knew someone had scored, but it was. It was Spain, Argentina in the final. And people did not like the, at the World Cup. It was at the halftime show that they had.

[Joanne]

Well, that bit I did see the football, like, even when you're talking to me about the football, I, I, I. And this is no offense to you, it's like when my dad tried to teach me to my times tables, I just zone out. I can't. I really struggle to, to, like, take in the information. But the halftime show that I did

[Vogue]

watch, oh, my God. The halftime show was like.

[Joanne]

It was like the, it was like, if the Eurovision had money, it was mental and why does it bother?

[Vogue]

But it was like America had just been like, right, we'll show. We'll show them what a halftime show is. And so much like, I, I. There's nothing Madonna could ever do that would make me say that she wasn't good. And I think Madonna, at the start, she was epic. She had Stuart Price, really good DJ behind her, who produced her albums. But then she had Ronaldo and Ronald Ronaldinho sitting in a car with her. Ronaldo looked like a corpse, a smiling corpse. He just, it didn't like, I know he's like one of the greatest.

[Joe]

Original Ronaldo.

[Vogue]

Original Ronaldo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he literally looked like a smiling corpse with his hands. Ten to two, he was doing nothing. At least Ronaldinho, he kind of was moving a little bit with the music. I get that they're total football legends, but, like, I mean, anyone, I suppose if someone said, you want to go and stage it, Madonna, you'd be like, yes, please. I do want to go on stage Madonna. But they just didn't do anything. It didn't make sense. But her, she was really good. I didn't.

[Joanne]

Madonna. I, I just think Madonna's come too far in her career to be performing with the Muppets.

[Vogue]

I don't feel like she did a full performance with the Muppets. They. They just were there. They had their own section.

[Joanne]

I heard she was upstaged by the Muppets.

[Vogue]

She definitely wasn't upstage by the Muppets. I don't know. I don't know where the Muppets came. I don't. I didn't understand why the Muppets were there. No shade to the Muppets. It didn't really make sense.

[Joe]

I.

[Joanne]

The Americans, as we know, they do try and Americanize things, and they love a halftime show. Like, I, I'd say, I'm actually surprised they don't do halftime shows in at their own funerals. I can only imagine they're like, before we laid this woman to rest, we're going to welcome Shakira to the stage, like, for presidential funerals and stuff. I'm surprised that Shania Twain isn't doing a couple of medleys at the top.

[Vogue]

Shakira, yes. On the halftime show. And I will just always have a deep love for Shakira because obviously she got over by her fella, Gerard Piquet, who was a footballer and he actually was in the World cup four years ago. Wasn't there this year. Huh. But Shakira was, and she looked unbelievable. And I just feel like Shakira, she held her head up high in all that. She got away with the tax stuff, too. She got away with the tax stuff. She kind of did. She's not fit.

[Joanne]

Well, I'm. When I was looking at her twirling around as I come, as someone who also likes to write things off, I hope she knows half this fee has to be put aside for the tax. That's all I was thinking.

[Vogue]

Were you worried about her?

[Joanne]

I was worried. It's like she thinks she's going to write all these pants off. She can't.

[Vogue]

I'd say she can look back on it and be like, you know what? Fine. Everything has turned out the way it was meant to turn out.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Vogue]

But you'll always have that little. Like, even with this person that cheated on me, you'll always have that little. And when you see the person that they cheated with, sometimes I'm like,

[Joanne]

all is fair and love and jam. Wasn't that how she found out that he was cheating on her? The job she came home and her jam that she loved and her husband didn't like, the jam have been eaten.

[Joe]

Even if that Google access.

[Joanne]

No, it isn't. You don't even need to. Allegedly, that Joe. That's actually true.

[Vogue]

Joanne remembers the most bizarre things.

[Joanne]

I would tend to read it on clickbait News. Wherever Vogue's gotten her news from. I read it from who knows News. I read it. I read it from. Take it with a pinch of salt.

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[Joanne]

Speaking of the World cup, are we going to discuss the fact that Robbie Williams, everyone was accused of being on drugs? It was actually really funny for anyone who didn't see it. Robbie was performing, obviously, because literally, like, I don't know who wasn't. Folks, I'm surprised you weren't performing. Good girl over there. Like everyone was over there.

[Vogue]

I told them I was on my holidays, I couldn't make it.

[Joe]

It.

[Joanne]

Yeah, yeah. You're like, I'm in a spa resort. And I beat that. I don't have the time or the interest.

[Vogue]

Sorry, I'm.

[Joanne]

No, you were like, it's free, I'm not going. So he was being interviewed after and

[Vogue]

it was on German tv, wasn't it?

[Joanne]

Was it German tv? A friend of mine was like, he's only wearing a tracksuit. I was like, well, at least he's out of the bed. Do you remember he took to the bed for years.

[Vogue]

Yeah. And he was just going around in his knickers. Yeah, he did documentary in a pair of knickers.

[Joanne]

He's making an effort. Anyway, something fell out of his face, it was white and it fell in the mic and he flipped it off. And of course the Internet, because the Internet loves accusing people of doing drugs. It's one of their favorite things, even though half of them are already on drugs themselves. But it's that thing of like, haha, you look at you. Because there's so much shame around drugs and judgment around drugs. Anyway, it turned out it was a mint and he did a very funny video where he kind of apologized for it and everything. But he's clean and so although I will say when I saw the length of the halftime show, I was like, no wonder when I, when I didn't know what was going on, I said, I don't blame him.

[Vogue]

Did you see Gabby Logan? Gabby Logan was interviewing Wayne Rooney and like they were all chatting there on this panel and she just goes away and really well, Wayne, what did you think of that? Thought it was crap. No, sorry, I thought it was crap. He was just like. And she was like, well, what was the best part for you when it ended? I'm sorry, it was crap.

[Joanne]

Wayne, glow up.

[Vogue]

He's had a glow up, hasn't he? Jesus. I thought he looked.

[Joanne]

Do you know I was offered a hair transplant. Speaking of Wayne Rooney. Yeah. Company got in Touch. Really lovely woman.

[Vogue]

Where is it, in Turkey?

[Joanne]

No, it's in England.

[Vogue]

Oh.

[Joanne]

And she was like, hey. She was like, look, we listen to the pod and we hear you always talking about your hairline and that you're on the minoxidil and would you be interested in getting, like, a hair transplant at the front? And I wr back going, stop. So, as in, I was, wow. Because that's how I respond to things. I say stop and wow.

[Vogue]

Yeah.

[Joanne]

In a positive way and. But she read it as wow. She was like, oh, my God. I'm so, so sorry. You're gorgeous. Your hair's gorgeous, your hairline's gorgeous. I didn't mean to. And I was like, no, no, no, no. I'm saying, yes, please. Yes, please, in a good way.

[Vogue]

No.

[Joanne]

And she was like, oh, my God, I nearly died. I thought that you. I'd really offended you. And I was like, no, no, no, no, not at all. And then I actually voice noted her and. And then there was an Irish nurse in the background, went, going, see, I told you. You didn't offender.

[Vogue]

I'll let you do most things, and I let you. I let you go on your merry way and just do most of the things that you like to do, but I'm not gonna let you get a hair transplant. I'm sorry. You can't. You can't. I'm sorry.

[Joanne]

I've booked it in.

[Vogue]

Oh, for sake. No, Joe, honestly.

[Joanne]

Well, we're talking dates, so what I was saying.

[Vogue]

Oh, my.

[Joanne]

What I would like to do, I have. I have a receding. I have a bit of receding, which I am plugging back with the regain and the minoxidil, but I would like. Just, Just. I'm not saying I want a fringe. I'm not saying I want it down to my eyebrows. I wouldn't mind just an extra couple of inches at the front, but I'm going to wait till next year when I have nothing on. Not that I have nothing on, but I'm not like, on tour with. With pedophile or not doing a lot of tv.

[Vogue]

Do you have to. You don't shave your head.

[Joanne]

When I write my book. I can have a hair transplant when writing the book.

[Vogue]

I. I just don't. Okay, I just. Listen, everyone should do what they want to do. Their own body, their own choice. But I really just don't feel like you need a hair transplant. And I just don't think it's. I think that you'll be. You won't like it. I don't Think you'll.

[Joanne]

Yes, I think I love it. Okay, it's happening. What's happening?

[Vogue]

I have a lot of control over Joanne, as you can see. Back, back to the World Cup. Sorry, Argentina, I'm sorry, but they are very rough. I didn't like the way they were rough with England and I like a conspiracy theory. And the conspiracy behind. And they were very rough with Spain. Your man at the end came up and battered one of the players in Spain and nothing was done by FIFA. And the conspiracy is that people think that FIFA were trying to get Argentina to win the World Cup. So what they did was they let them away with loads of things that no other team would have been led away with when actually they should have been kicked out. And actually when they were playing England, they should have lost players because they should have been red carded and they weren't. And this is the conspiracy that I'm looking at. Because Donald Trump wanted. Because he goes on about how much he hates the Spanish. The feeling is mutual. He goes on, but she hates the Spanish.

[Joanne]

Hates the Spanish. Like, why?

[Vogue]

There's actually a quote about what he says about the whole nation of Spain. It's like, dude, like. And then he had to. Then he had to present them with the World cup at the end. And as you were trying to say earlier, they couldn't get him off the stage and they had to cut him out of the pictures. He's just standing like a complete plunker. They in the middle of them all.

[Joanne]

Yeah, he was very much drunk and won't get out of wedding photos. That was very much this. I have an explanation for why everything's going nuts. I don't know if you're familiar with Mercury and retrograde.

[Vogue]

It's always doing something, though. That's why I just kind of stay out of it. Because it's at any point it's in retrograde or like all the time.

[Joanne]

It's not always in retrograde, but apparently it's been this, this is more retrogradey than ever before in the mercury. Right. So I obviously don't believe in astrology at all. I'm a science person. However, once I got wind that this was basically an amnesty for bad behavior, I think we should really lean in. So people, real people with brains and careers and, and normal things are saying that they're using this as a genuine excuse as to why shit's going loco. Because we're all cucumbers and we're basically pulling and we're a victim of the tides and the waters and Mercury is in retrograde. I don't know what that means, but what I do understand that it means is key the car, turn up to the access, garden it up. Do you know what I mean? Get a chest hat, quit your job. All these things will be explainable. There's no accountability anymore until Mercury goes out of retrograde or something.

[Vogue]

I don't know. Is it in or out of retrograde at the moment? Because you just never know. Joe, what is it doing?

[Joanne]

Google it, Joe. Because there's something big going on with Mercury and the retrogrades.

[Joe]

If you're going to do anything ill advised, you need to do it today. That's day of record in the 23rd. By the time you hear this, Mercury won't be in retrograde anymore.

[Joanne]

Oh, it's gone.

[Joe]

So cut it out.

[Vogue]

Okay, so everything you were planning for Ibiza, Joanne, you'd want to pull back a bit on that now because it'll

[Joe]

next be in retrograde on October 24th. So just note that down.

[Joanne]

Do you know what I want to do?

[Vogue]

Back in retrograde.

[Joanne]

Yeah, but this one was a particularly retrogradey, apparently, according to all the women now sitting in prison. It's not me, it's the stars. Do you know what I want to do? Do you know why I'm really going to repeat that?

[Vogue]

Why?

[Joanne]

Because I think my husband is there and I think it's the manager of Pikes. Now, for anyone not aware of the viral voice note that went around.

[Vogue]

I was a page. That was all. Can I just say, that was the only thing I saw in Ibiza? I saw one person in K hole and I was like, great trip made. 8:00 clock at night. Been dragged out of a car, couldn't walk in. A total K.O. i was like, that's what I came to be. The.

[Joanne]

There you go.

[Vogue]

Tick, tick.

[Joanne]

Just to see the sights. To see the sights.

[Vogue]

The manager. The manager of bikes. Basically, voice notes. His. This lad's friend, he picks up this guy's phone who's in a bad way and he voice notes his friend and he's like. To his friend, can you come and pick up your friend? He's after falling into a KO he's after stupid hearing P. And the guy goes, I'm.

[Joanne]

I'm sound. And he says, yeah, yeah. And he goes, listen, come look at him. He's in a K. Ho. Manager from Pike's. Here you come get your friend.

[Vogue]

I thought that was really sound.

[Joanne]

Yeah, you are. And he goes, you've maneuvered me like you think I'm Some sort of. Can you say that word anymore? I'm repeating what he said.

[Vogue]

Oh.

[Joanne]

And then the manager goes, yeah, you are. Anyway. And then moves on with the conversation and it's very funny and everyone laughed. Anyway, that's. I mean the. The dream is to h up with the manager of pikes. The reality is I'll probably end up with the guy in the k ho.

[Joe]

Tune in next week to find out.

[Joanne]

It's all good stuff.

[Vogue]

Or Wayne, really. You'll be back. Back into Ocean Beach.

[Joanne]

It's all good stuff.

[Vogue]

I did see. I saw a few sites now in the. In the morning in a beat the airport.

[Joanne]

Oh yeah.

[Vogue]

That's why I had a very nice time. Remember when we were coming over from Ibiza and I. I had Otto there but Joanne had gone out with my friend Megan and they kick the out of it as you would do in Ibiza when in Rome where Megan hadn't slept because we had a morning flight. And do you remember you going around the airport with Otto in the bookie?

[Joanne]

Oh my God, yes. I loved it.

[Vogue]

I loved it. She took. She just turned into this super mom for some reason with no sleep. I had the nicest

[Joanne]

I had, so I don't know what I was doing. I just really took to him that day, didn't I?

[Vogue]

You like it? Took to what I had. I had the day off. I was thrilled with myself.

[Joanne]

I actually totally forgot about that. Well, next time we speak, I'll be in Ibiza. So I'm assuming my microphone won't work because it'll be underwater. Thanks for listening. We'll see you on Wednesday. Like and subscribe if you are that way inclined. And please keep sending us your emails. We love to read them. Hello at mtgmpod. Com.

[Vogue]

See you later.

[Joanne]

This has been a global production.