Austin Butler, Cardi B & Dream Catchers

Summary

My Therapist Ghosted Me

Episode: Austin Butler, Cardi B & Dream Catchers
Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
Release Date: September 5, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this lively and candid episode, Vogue and Joanne riff on the latest celebrity gossip, social observations, and personal confessions—with their signature blend of irreverence and warmth. The conversation jumps from holiday envy and Instagram doom-scrolling to tabloid fodder featuring Austin Butler, Cardi B’s court drama, and wild celebrity theories. Along the way, they weave in personal anecdotes, witty commentary, and even touch on deeper existential topics like death and legacy—always returning to humor as their coping mechanism of choice.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Holiday Envy and Social Media Addictions

• [00:09 – 03:58]
  • Joanne and Vogue tease about their off-air colleague’s endless holidays with two young kids.
  • Social media “envy” is discussed frankly—Joanne admitting, “I was the jealous one… You jealous, bitch.” [01:28, Joanne]
  • The duo reflect on Instagram’s ability to bring out insecurity, and discuss attempts to moderate screen time (using apps like Brick and Kip to lock down their phones).
  • Joanne quips about feeling like “the Dalai Lama” for limiting Instagram at night, despite being glued to her phone all day.

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2. Birthday “Admin” and Text Message Etiquette

• [03:58 – 06:43]
  • Vogue dreads the “admin” of responding to birthday texts and thank-yous, referencing asking for donations to charity rather than gifts.
  • Both hosts lament the expectation of long, enthusiastic responses, contrasting women’s texts to men’s dry “Happy Christmas. [full stop]” messages.
  • Joanne jokes about sending out assistant-signed Christmas cards.

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3. Celebrity Obsession: Austin Butler, Tall Men, and Crushes

• [07:45 – 11:19]
  • Joanne quizzes Vogue’s new “full on” crush: Austin Butler, “stunningly beautiful” but perhaps lacking “the ride of a personality.” [10:56, Joanne]
  • Discussion about societal obsession with tall men—“Tall men are the worst… You can have the face of a pig and they’d still be climbing up there,” Joanne laughs. [09:07, Joanne]
  • They riff on the unfair beauty standards and “primal cave horn” desire for height.
  • Gossip about Zoe Kravitz, Harry Styles, and PR-manufactured celebrity relationships.

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4. Celebrity PR Relationships and Authenticity

• [11:19 – 13:46]
  • Analysis of Pamela Anderson and Liam Neeson’s obviously staged romance: “She’s selling authenticity… then sells a bogus PR relationship…” says Joanne (12:04).
  • Joanne discusses her time as a publicist and how PR relationships are used to promote films.
  • Both mock the awkwardness seen in publicity stunts and note how effective they can be for box office success, pondering if they too should embark on a “romance for PR.”

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5. Hair Journeys, Aging, and Society's Beauty Standards

• [13:15 – 14:54]
  • The hosts discuss embracing gray hair, reluctance to let go of youth, and their own gray hair struggles.
  • Joanne shares her “hair journey” after hair loss and expresses admiration for those who own gray hair.
  • Vogue highlights the new trend for gray extensions but admits, “I don’t want to be gray either… I’m not doing this to my face to then be gray!” [14:02, Vogue]

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6. Dreams, Melatonin, and Superstition

• [15:19 – 17:07]
  • Both hosts share bizarre dreams, possibly influenced by melatonin.
  • Joanne has a dream of Vogue with a “Friar Tuck” haircut, and Vogue describes worry-filled dreams about friends.
  • Lighthearted superstition is discussed—does dreaming about death actually mean long life? (“It means you’re gonna die, Vogue,” Joanna jokes. [18:22, Joanne])

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7. Cryonics and Fears of Death

• [18:39 – 20:38]
  • Discussion of an article about people paying €50/month to cryo-preserve their bodies after death.
  • Both find the notion bizarre and fear waking up alone in a strange, turtle-run future: “Don’t do it,” Joanne advises. [20:38, Joanne]
  • Vogue confesses to becoming less afraid of death with every flight she takes.

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8. Viral Tennis “Hat Theft” and Internet Outrage

• [21:23 – 25:00]
  • Story of a CEO snatching a signed hat from a child at a tennis match, prompting a viral backlash and a plummet in his company’s online ratings.
  • Joanne sarcastically observes, “Who are these puritans? Like, come on…” [23:46, Joanne]
  • They muse that such things “would never happen at a darts match” and remark on expectations of CEO behavior.

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9. Salma Hayek’s Famous Breastfeeding

• [25:23 – 26:13]
  • Surprising fact: Salma Hayek breastfed another woman’s child on a charity mission, prompting Joanne to joke, “If Salma Hayek offered to breastfeed one of my children, who am I to say no?” [26:07, Joanne]

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10. Cardi B’s Privacy Court Case

• [26:29 – 29:23]
  • Cardi B successfully defends herself against a $24 million lawsuit after a security guard secretly took her video at a private gynecologist appointment.
  • Praised for her measured response: “Let this be a lesson… If it happens again, I will countersue.” [28:13, Cardi B via Joanne]
  • Joanne and Vogue note the rising trend of celebrities being sued simply because they have money, likening the incident to Gwyneth Paltrow's notorious case.

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11. Book Clubs, Recommendations, and the Amanda Knox Show

• [29:36 – 32:58]
  • Suggestions to involve listeners in a monthly “digital book club” around documentaries and series.
  • Ongoing fascination with the Amanda Knox story, referencing the Disney+ show and related podcasts, and highlighting the difficulty of changing public opinion despite evidence.
  • Newfound admiration for Sharon Horgan as an actress and producer.

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12. Swiftie Theories & Gaylor Conspiracy

• [33:07 – 36:58]
  • Taylor Swift’s suspected engagement to Travis Kelce: most fans are elated, but a large “Gaylor” subreddit continues to speculate about her sexuality.
  • Joanne: “She doesn’t give me lesbian vibes. She never has.” [35:48, Joanne]
  • Playful debate about celebrity sexuality speculation and how internet fandoms spiral with theories (striped dresses as ‘prison of her own sexuality,’ etc.).

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13. Upcoming Tours and Wrap-up

• [37:07 – End]
  • Joanne plugs tour dates, Vogue jokes about going, and they express gratitude to listeners.
  • Final tease for their upcoming bonus episode.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I had to check myself… I was the jealous one. You jealous, bitch.”
  Joanne, [01:28]
• “Instagram can bring out the absolute worst in people.”
  Joanne, [01:51]
• “Moving the problem to a warmer place.”
  Joanne, re: holidays with kids, [00:40]
• “Kind of herding, as it were.”
  Vogue, [00:47]
• “Tall men are the worst… You can have the face of a pig and they’d still be climbing up there.”
  Joanne, [09:07]
• “I don’t want to be gray either… I’m not doing this to my face to then be gray!”
  Vogue, [14:02]
• “[Cryopreservation]… you’ll wake up in a wasteland of the world where it’s been taken over by turtles or something.”
  Joanne, [20:38]
• “If Salma Hayek offered to breastfeed one of my children, who am I to say no?”
  Joanne, [26:07]
• “Let this be a lesson… If it happens again, I will countersue.”
  Joanne paraphrasing Cardi B, [28:13]
• “She doesn’t give me lesbian vibes. She never has.”
  Joanne, [35:48]

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Key Timestamps

• 00:09 – Opening banter; holiday jealousy
• 01:51 – Instagram’s negative effects; attempts at digital detox
• 03:58 – Birthday “admin” and text etiquette
• 07:54 – Vogue’s secret crush: celebrity guessing game
• 10:51 – “Missing” qualities in handsome celebrities
• 13:15 – PR relationships in showbiz
• 14:54 – Opinions on going gray
• 17:07 – Melatonin and wild dream confessions
• 18:39 – Cryonics and death anxiety
• 21:23 – Viral tennis hat incident and societal outrage
• 26:29 – Cardi B court battle and privacy rights
• 29:36 – Amanda Knox TV series and popularity of recommendations
• 33:07 – Taylor Swift engagement; Gaylor subreddit conspiracy
• 37:07 – Show plugs and wrap-up

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Tone and Style

As always, the tone is informal, boisterous, and unfiltered—with rapid-fire jokes, sarcastic asides, and an easy camaraderie. The hosts jump seamlessly from the deeply personal to the totally absurd, never shying away from calling out ridiculousness—whether their own, each other’s, or the world’s.

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Summary

This episode is another classic entry in the "My Therapist Ghosted Me" canon: punchy, relatable, and peppered with celebrity intrigue. Listeners can expect laughs, honest admissions, and a whirlwind tour of everything from dream analysis and celebrity PR stunts to Cardi B's legal drama and Swiftie deep dives. It’s a perfect listen for anyone craving a dose of candid, hilarious reality therapy—and all the gossip you didn’t know you needed.

Transcript

[A]

Before we begin, we are down one Joe as you. Well, he's had the audacity, the knack and the gall to go on holidays.

[B]

With his family now that he's not here. Let's just say it the way it is. He's always on holidays.

[A]

He's always on holidays. First time he's ever brought away two babies. He's got two babies under. What are they both under?

[B]

Three.

[A]

Three. So it's. I, I don't. Look, I don't know. I am as yet unfertilized, but I, I'm imagining that's going to be quite stressful.

[B]

So I did tell him it wouldn't be so much a holiday, more of a. Moving the problem to a warmer place.

[A]

Yes. Kind of hurting, as it were.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Well, also, we should, we should test him to see if he listens. Outside of his mandatory contractual error.

[B]

Yes. He's just.

[A]

We don't believe him and nor should he. Why would he. Like, you always say, V. You're always dying to go in your holidays and get away from you and Joe. He wants to get away from me and you and good luck.

[B]

He just doesn't. Yeah. He just doesn't admit it. Sorry, I'm putting on a big jacket. Come here. To me. I. Speaking of holidays, I found myself. I had to check myself. You know the way you're like, they're just jealous. They're just jealous. I was the jealous one. So someone was showing me pictures of their holidays and in my head I was like, another holiday.

[A]

You were judging them.

[B]

You're judging them. Yeah, I was like, you jealous, bitch.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You are just jealous.

[A]

Yeah, but you've, you've done, you've done the work. So you know what it is now? Do you know what I mean? You've done the work on yourself and you realize you're like, oh, I'm projecting. This person has something I want. The Internet's an amazing place to be a lot of the time. There's a lot of in there as well. It could be very depressing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I do believe that Instagram can bring out the absolute worst in people. I really do.

[B]

It does. You know what? It, it really does. But I do, I like it. But I, I, I limit myself to half an hour at night now when I say that, that's just my night scrolling. I'm not saying I don't look at my phone for the entire rest.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's when your batteries run out and your, your thumbs in Bits and it's in a sling from scrolling throughout the day. You give yourself half an hour in the evening and you think you're the Dalai Lama.

[B]

I just.

[A]

Oh, I meant to say to you. So I've been talking.

[B]

Sorry, I have to take the jacket off again. It's actually. Why did you.

[A]

Why did you put it on? Why did you just threw one of rain coat there?

[B]

Because it looks really cool. And then I was like, I'll record in the raincoat. And then I was like, I certainly will not. I'll be dripping by the time I finish.

[A]

I look like today. So I'm really. I'd be really happy if we could pixelate out my face for this. And you can. So you put the raincoat on. If you feel it, it's going to draw attention away from me. But I was. I was going to buy this thing called Brick on the Internet, which is. It blocks or. It's always been sold to me on the gram, which is ironic because I'm trying to get off Instagram. So I bought this off Instagram and it kind of locks down your apps and stuff. And then an Irish company got in touch to say don't get Brick at Kip, which is their thing. And obviously we'd like to support, you know, we. We buy Irish when we can. So I'm going to set that up when I got my next time I'm back in London because I left it in the flat and then it locked.

[B]

So. Sorry. Is it. Is it a phone?

[A]

Is it. It's an app. Brick thing. It's an app.

[B]

I guess it's an app. So what are you gonna pick up? Is it not just on your phone then?

[A]

So it locks down my phone. So I am. No contactable. No. No Instagrams, no whatsapps, no messages, nothing for like say three hours a day or whatever. It is. Whatever way. Whenever I want to kind of escape from the digital world, which is constant. I went for lunch with a friend of mine yesterday and she's like, phone never fucking stops. I was like, I know it's. And then you're on this. It feels like you're on call. Joanna normally called it when she was like, it's like being on call because it's this culture of instant replying. They have to reply instantly to everything, all the time. Or especially my mother. If I don't reply within 30 seconds, the question just these passive aggressive question marks.

[B]

Oh, well, if I don't ring my mom and stuff, she's like, oh, oh, nice to hear from you. And I'm like, mom, you. Like, the phone works both ways. But, like, I don't know. I found myself at my birthday, and this is before the birthday happened. This sounds so bitchy and just mean.

[A]

Hit me. But, like, you know, we're on anyway. We're recording. Fine. Hit it.

[B]

But I was like, oh, I can't wait for the party tomorrow. And then I was like, oh, Sunday, everyone's gonna text me saying thanks, and.

[A]

I'm gonna have to reply, listen.

[B]

And I was like, I'm gonna have to thank people for, like, presents and the donations that they gave. Because I asked for donations. And I was like, not donations to myself.

[A]

I was gonna say. I was like, wow, you're being very brave today. Yeah.

[B]

I set up a GoFundMe just in the name of me. No, I asked for people to donate to choose love in. In my name. So I don't know who's done it. Yeah, I. Well, I feel like I've. I've got enough. But then I was like, that was my thought. And I think it, like. I think it around my birthday. Like, you don't know, like, when people know it's your birthday. Because then people text you all the time. But it's the same at Christmas. It's like, just off and enjoy your Christmas Day stuff. Text to me.

[A]

I have to say. And it is. It's a terrible way. But, like, there is. I've always said it. There's a lot of admin for birthdays where there's a lot. I know. And I'm. I'm a bit of a phone dodger at the best of times. So I remember one. One Christmas, One of my male straight friends. So kind of. Exactly.

[B]

I need a name. I don't believe that. Two.

[A]

I have two of them. Two and a half. One of them, I think.

[B]

Are you sure?

[A]

Text me a Christmas Day. Happy Christmas, full stop. I was like, dude, where's the feeling? And now I've just. Now I have to text you back. And because I'm a woman, I've took my. I'm going to add 28 exclamation points and ask about your family.

[B]

Santa, good to you.

[A]

And now I've had to open the conversation. You've sent me a sociopathic, psychopathic text. Happy Christmas, full stop. Not even a Christmas tree emoji, but.

[B]

At least we're not in the era of having to send Christmas cards.

[A]

I'd love that.

[B]

John, stop pretending to be someone you're not. You getting your assistant to send Christmas cards Is not the same thing.

[A]

I didn't even think of that. But that's, that's a great idea. I'll get on to Lauren stuff.

[B]

I'm learning. I'm sorry.

[A]

Just send out, Apologize. I'll just send out those. Should I tell you about all this? All the photo, the so one, I'd say maybe three people, old school people have come in via certain channels and asked for a signed photograph. Right. And it's so old school. So I was like, that's a great idea. Yeah. So we had photos of me printed off. They're like postcard size photographs of me, right? They're like head shots. It looks like I'm showing them my ass crack. That's what it looks like to me. It's, it's just a bit weird and.

[B]

A bit inappropriate if I'm doing radio or something like that. Sometimes there'll be people outside and they'll have all these pictures printed off of me and they want me to sign them. They could have like five or six. I'm like, where are these going? And I'm like, will I sign it to you? And they're like no. And I'm like, well, where's it going? Who, like, I'm not saying that I'm the shittest of all the people, but like who in their right mind wants to have a signed photograph for me? Like in fairness, loads of.

[A]

What are you talking about? You're royal adjacent. I had the same. I, I, I, I didn't know that was a thing until, I think I, until after I did taskmaster maybe. And then the, the, the lads turn up with the glossy printed off photos and you sign them and stuff. Oh, I didn't realize. Are they selling them for like 2 shillings?

[B]

Cuz you can't, I can't imagine they're generating a profit, but they're doing something with them.

[A]

These lads are. But by the time they print off the glasses, if they're selling me and you, they're running, they're running at a loss. Let's be real.

[B]

They're doing it for the love of it. Okay. I have a new fascination.

[A]

Hit me.

[B]

It's, it's kind of full on. You know the way when I fancy somebody I go in hard.

[A]

Oh, it's a person, it's a, it's a, it's a human fascination. Okay. Yeah. Is it male?

[B]

Male?

[A]

Can I, can I, can I take three guesses?

[B]

Three guesses. Male. I'll tell you, I'll tell you three things about them and you can like Guess who. Okay. Blonde hair, unusual for me.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Oh my God. I was going to say Peter Crouch until he threw the Americana in the end there.

[B]

Not Peter.

[A]

No, not El Pedro C. Peter Crouch.

[B]

He told me a glass and break. He was like. I was like, God. It was. Actually, I never thought about this because loads of people stop him and I'm like. He's like. It's not like I can hide.

[A]

Oh my God. Yeah. He's so tall.

[B]

Yeah. You can't hide from anyone.

[A]

Yeah, okay.

[B]

Anyway, who is it?

[A]

Tall men are the worst, by the way I talk about them on my new stand up show. They are. They are so spoiled by women wanting to climb them like a tree. They are. And I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them. And you can't throw them anywhere because they're so bloody tall. I'm not saying anything about Peter Crouch. I know nothing about tall men.

[B]

Could just have the face of a pig and he'd still be climbing up there.

[A]

The height. I'm telling you, we're just wired for this. Hu. We're like, oh, look at the top. We're just. You know what? We're just our, our primal cave horn in us is like huge babies. That's all you're thinking. Okay, so I'm back. Is it one of the. Is it, Is it one of the back street boys?

[B]

No. Joanne, like, no. Have you. Sorry.

[A]

They're back in the sphere in la.

[B]

They're having a. I know they're back in the sphere, but like, who, who are you going for out of them? Go Google them. I don't know.

[A]

I think AJ is a bit of a. A bit of all right.

[B]

I don't know. Didn't he go a bit odd? I could have made.

[A]

He's aged well. Everyone goes odd. Look at us. I.

[B]

Okay, his ex girlfriend is so hot that you wouldn't be able to go out with him because you'd feel very uncomfortable about yourself. You feel too ugly to go out with him. Like, I really fancy.

[A]

Yeah, I feel like that about most men because most men are going out with women way more attractive than them. So even if he's a 2 out of 10, the chances are his ex is a 9 out of 10 and I'm coming in at 4 in the morning and then I'm a 6 by the evening.

[B]

I'd say you're more of an ace. You're an acre.

[A]

Okay. I don't know.

[B]

Austin Butler.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

I know, I'm sorry. I'M sorry, sorry. I shouldn't have moved off Timothy.

[A]

I shouldn't have said, I shouldn't have said, oh, God, like that. You know what? I, I, he is stunningly beautiful.

[B]

Dawning.

[A]

But I don't. There's one thing that's very much missing from him. I, I would say. And we were allowed kind of tease, man. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I'm not looking for his personality. Married.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It would be a fling. Okay.

[A]

Yeah, there is, there's a. And yeah, he's absolutely stunningly beautiful.

[B]

Stunning. Did you see Zoe Kravitz was pictured with him, but not only was Zoe, so everyone thought that Zoe Kravitz was going out with him. And then Zoe Kravitz, that girl is cleaning up. I mean, she is on fuego herself. She's on fuego. She's got Harry Styles on the go now.

[A]

She's Harry.

[B]

Austin Butler, Harry Styles.

[A]

No, no, no, no.

[B]

She's living the dream life.

[A]

No, no, no. She wasn't going out with Austin Butler. They were just doing a film together. And it's one of those, I think people. It's the same with the Pamela and the Liam Neeson thing. It's a load of wamp. It's not true. It's pure stunt baby.

[B]

I have to say I was a bit disappointed. Now in Pami, I'm not so much in Liam because I just don't, I don't really mind what he gets up to. But Pammy, I have a lot of like, I put a lot into her. I think about her more than I should and she let me down.

[A]

I believe I agree with you because Pamela is very much selling authenticity of late with all the makeup free stuff. And then she sells as a bogus PR relationship, but that's what they do to sell the films. But I will say this and I will say no more as an ex publicist myself, which I like to start all my sentences with, even if it's got nothing to do with publicity.

[B]

It's like me, my mom, to be an air hostess.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to work here as an ex, I like, as an ex publicist, I don't eat bacon. Like, what's the relevance? Irrelevance. Just like thrown it out there. As an ex publicist, it was very clear to me that Liam Neeson had zero interest. He looks nothing but insanely uncomfortable. Every single time she tried to lay on the fake romance and the, and the cutiness. And she was trying to suggest, she was like, yeah, anything he asked me to do. I do. He looked awkward as.

[B]

As well. Can I tell you one thing? The film absolutely flew. And I think.

[A]

What film?

[B]

They had a film out.

[A]

See, I don't even know the name of the film. So obviously I. I was too. I was too distracted by how uncomfortable Liam Nissan looked.

[B]

They did Naked Goner, a remake of Naked Gun, and it absolutely killed it. And Steve Martin. Was it Steve Martin who did the first one? No, that other fellow who kind of looks like Steve.

[A]

Yeah, the gray lad.

[B]

Yeah, it was gray his whole life for some reason. Anyway, he. It should have flopped because the first one did so well and it did amazingly well. So I believe that you and I should seriously consider embarking upon a romance.

[A]

Sorry. Speaking of. Speaking of gray, I just want to throw this in there. So I've. My. I'm starting to. I have a little patch of gray. That's. That's. That's. It's here, obviously, and it's here to stay. And I've been Googling gray hair just out of interest. You know, the way I'm on my hair journey. So you don't. When you grow your hair. So remember, I had some hair loss and now I've been, like, regaining it up to the max. And it's coming back after 35. Your hair. You can't regrow your colored hair, so your pigment is gone. So because of my hair journey and my regrowth.

[B]

No. Yeah.

[A]

The stuff that's coming back is gray. Anyway, I was googling it and it says that UV can also encourage grayness. So I'm after investing in a load of bowler hats.

[B]

Bowler hats. So you don't get your hair. I tell you what, I know that you don't want to be gray, but I'm just saying, like, hair extensions and everything are now being made in gray because gray is. I don't want to be gray either. I have to say. I don't want to be great. I'm not doing this to my face to then be gray.

[A]

It's a. It's a commitment. And when you're ready, you're ready. And I hung out with a woman at Glastonbury who had the coolest gray hair. But she. She was just really cool. And she was, like, you know, covered in town. She was just deadly. And so she really rocked it. But it was. But the gray was so smooth. So, you know, her hair was in amazing condition. She might have been a hairdresser, actually, because her hair was so good. But that was a. That's a Look, and she's. She's wearing it and she's serving it. She's leaning in. She's. And it looks really cool. Mine's. Look, one day, my. I might just rock a gray kind of patch like a raccoon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm just gray.

[B]

Gray slag strips.

[A]

I'm not ready yet. I'm just not ready yet. I will be one day. One day I'll be like, oh, yeah, let's go. But I'm just not ready yet. It's not. It's a journey. But anyway.

[B]

It's not for everyone.

[A]

It's not for everyone. But. But. And I think we've been very lucky to not go gray up to this point. I have friends who went gray in their 20s.

[B]

Sure. Neil was bald when he was, like, 24. Neil's. Neil's actually aged backwards. He's like Benjamin Button. He. He just looked really old. When he was, like, 22, he was completely bald. And now he's just been the same.

[A]

Yeah. Stagnant. So what you're suggesting is we embark on a PR relationship stunt.

[B]

Yeah. Now I know that you aren't. I've decided I will take the hit. I will be Daddy because I'm bigger.

[A]

Great.

[B]

I'll be the bigger spoon and I'll make sure that I walk on, like, the outside of the pavement. Like, I'll be the gentleman.

[A]

Well, I'm obviously in the market for a celebrity romancing as my. Remember I was telling you I was dreaming I was going down to Gemma Collins.

[B]

I had terrible dreams about people last night and I have to ring them today because I had dreams last night about people dying.

[A]

It's the Melatonin. Are you on the Melatonin?

[B]

No, I've been taking. I'm only on my knees and I'm not taking anything.

[A]

But I know dreams are so boring for other people to listen to, and frankly, the listeners are very lucky we haven't started a Jomana Vogue Stream section because obviously there's a touch of narcissism in anyone who goes on about their own dreams. But last night. So I woke up this morning and I dreamt that you cut your hair into, like, a Friar Tuck.

[B]

You wish.

[A]

And I was like, folk, please put your extensions back in. Put your extensions back in.

[B]

Sound like, cheesy.

[A]

Please, Mama, make your hair nice again. But, yeah, it was really thin and it was, like, really wispy. It was like, have you seen Miley Cyrus's new fringe?

[B]

She gets away with that, though.

[A]

But if that was her you're all around your head. So that, like, thinning, kind of very thin style of, like, a couple of bits at the front was all the way around. And I was like, foga. And it was all gray and weird. Yeah. I don't know, but. But I. I know it's the melatonin. I'm having mental dreams at the moment, but I'm not willing to give them up because I'm kind of invested now.

[B]

Well, it's good to have melatonin in your body. But I remember when I took them, I did have crazy dreams and I just didn't like it. And last night I had such weird dreams. I have to ring my friend Reds as well. I had mad dreams about him.

[A]

You don't have to. You know, you can keep some things you can. You don't like. Yeah, but I worry.

[B]

I worries about them. I worried about them. There's two people I'm now worried about. I'm like, are you all right?

[A]

Someone tell me. They're like, did you tell Gemma Collins you had a dream you're going down? It's not really. So. I don't know, Gemma.

[B]

Sorry. Sorry.

[A]

Well, I said canoodling, but I didn't go into the deeps. Yeah.

[B]

Had a dream. What the hell? Did you go to bed? You didn't tell us you went down.

[A]

On Gemma in a dream. No, I. I said we were canoodling in Dublin City and that I was. I was very nervous about getting papped before we were ready to announce the relationship, but I was actually going down there.

[B]

Lucky Gemma. She'd been. I think that's nice to hear. I'd like to hear that about.

[A]

You know what? I wasn't physically. It was just that I. In my dream, I knew I just had. Do you know what I mean? I. I knew it was. We were like, post. Post. I just knew I had.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But anyway, I think it's a sign that you respect the person. That was. That's what I read somewhere.

[B]

Did she hear?

[A]

I was like, get me a dream catcher now. I can't. I can't be. I can't be sexually involved with any more celebrities in my sl.

[B]

What does it mean when someone dies in a dream, then? That they're not gonna die, that it's a long life.

[A]

It means you're gonna die. Vogue.

[B]

I was thinking about that yesterday. I was like. I go on about that so much. It's gonna happen and I'm really invested in. In doing my will and stuff like that. I'm like, I just feel like I'm really getting ready or something.

[A]

Come here to me. There's a new something you might be interested in.

[B]

What?

[A]

You can pay. You can pay 50.

[B]

I know what you're gonna say in Asda. No, are you talking about, oh, you can get a will in Asda for 50 quid. Someone told me that yesterday.

[A]

That is not what I meant at all.

[B]

I was like, wow, I didn't expect her to have seen that. No.

[A]

There was an article in the Irish Times. Hold on. A handful of though. I'm a fighter at the Irish. People paying to cryo preserve their bodies for life after death. They're spent, apparently. If they can pay €50amonth.

[B]

Who's doing that now?

[A]

Let me see if I can actually see.

[B]

Well, here's my thing. I don't want to be here on my own. I'd have to have everyone with me.

[A]

I'm trying to convince myself, when I close my eyes, I'll open them 500 years from now. So there's young people who are like terrified of death, like yourself. This young lad. I don't want to pay for the article.

[B]

I am. I'm not as scared as I used to be of death. I just. And I'd rather not be here when I have no friends. I'm not great at making new friends. I don't love making new friends.

[A]

Will you be friends with your cryopreserve buddies? So last year, this man became one of a handful of people in Ireland to sign up to be cryo preserved by tomorrow bio. According to the Berlin based company which already has cryo preserved more than 20 bodies alongside 10 pets.

[B]

So I'm sorry, where are we getting the space for this? We don't even have the space to bury people anymore. In 20 years time, you won't be buying grave plots.

[A]

No, they're all there. This. There's someone in Berlin taking 50 quid a month off these people and then throwing their corpses into a huge big freezer. In Berlin, they're no more going to be defrosted. And if they are, can you imagine the state of them?

[B]

They'll be in bits. You'd be all wrinkled and gross. I'm like, I don't want to get frozen up 90. No thanks.

[A]

You have no mates, no job, no money.

[B]

You're. Yeah, you're dead. Everyone's gonna take. Everyone's gonna clear out your bank accounts when you're gone. Forget about it. You won't even have you. You literally won't have a pot to piss in.

[A]

You'll wake up with in a wasteland of the world where it'll have been taken over by turtles or something. Although they're not aggressive enough. I know. Yeah. Don't do it.

[B]

No, I'm actually not going to do it. I've. I've kind. I think I've really turned a corner. It's. With every flight I do, I get. I get less and less frightened of death because I come to terms with it every time I'm in the air. So I'm like, it's Grant. Yeah, yeah, really quick.

[A]

It's gonna. It's gonna happen, you know?

[B]

Did you see that story of inevitable.

[A]

No one's getting out of this alive. Isn't that what they say?

[B]

That is what they say. There's two certainties in life, taxes and death. John.

[A]

Look at us, whipping out the mantra.

[B]

So grown up.

[A]

Does she breastfeed kids?

[B]

Yeah, I remember she was over. She was over on a charity mission somewhere and she breastfed someone's child.

[A]

No, but they probably wanted her to. She's hardly just going around randomly breastfeeding kids who don't need. Who haven't been asked to be fed Vogue. Any other news for me?

[B]

Wow, so uplifting today, Joanne. Thank you. I was. Look, did you see that? Now, I only. I don't actually watch the tennis. Well, we did watch it a bit at Wimbledon, but did you see. It's been a bad year for CEOs. Did you see that CEO at a tennis match? Oh, it was. So, basically, there was this man at a tennis match and he was standing beside these two kids, and as the tennis player comes over, he signs little bits and bobs and he hands them back to them. And the tennis player handed who he thought was the child in front of him the hat. Yeah, this older man in his 40s Snatched the hat and the kid was trying to get the hat back and your man just gave it to his partner and she stuffed it in her bag and they basically stole the hat off the skin. It was all caught on camera. So it came out. It was all on camera and it kind of went viral of him nicking the hat. Yeah.

[A]

And not his best moments.

[B]

Not as. I mean, he's come out. He's come out with a statement. Now, the statement was like. Was like, basically, oh, I was taking the hat for my kids. Of course. I wouldn't want to take something from a child. It's like, dude, he fully snatched it from that kids. That is. And. And first of all, what are you really Gonna do with the hat? I never. I don't really understand that. Although one time in Aberdeen when I was living there, I went to see a DJ called Felix the House Cat. Not my finest moment. And I was up the front. It was really sweaty. So Felix had a sweat towel for the whole gig. And then he gave it to me at the end.

[A]

I know.

[B]

And I took it home.

[A]

Yeah, you tell. You told us this before. You're a scummer. I would have taken to like, sure. Come on. Sydney Sweeney's selling her bath water. Like, there's a market for people's bodily fluids once they hit a certain level of fame.

[B]

I. I know, but a hat. A hat. I'm nicking it off a kid. Anyway.

[A]

Well, I think this lad a couple of things. Having to release a statement is insane. Like, come on. Who care? Like I look, it was.

[B]

Do you know what happened to his company, though? People were putting all these terrible reviews on his company. Went from 5 star to 1.5 star. People are just like, the Internet's wild.

[A]

H. Who are these puritans? Like, come on. But also, it's. This also just goes to show while I think it's ridiculous that this mama's having to release a statement, like, the world's gone a bit insane. Also, this is tennis, people. Okay? This is ego, money and champagne. That would never happen at a darts match. Yeah. You know what I mean? You got to go.

[B]

Someone would just get. That kid would have just punched him and that would have been it.

[A]

Give me the hat. Boof. Yeah, I mean, it's more. I mean, we. We probably. Yeah.

[B]

Well, it was a very polite child.

[A]

Should be careful if we don't. We're not saying they're. What am I trying to say?

[B]

We're not saying to punch him. But I would. Had that have been me in that child's place. I probably at that age would not have been as kind.

[A]

Rich CEO men are. We're expecting kindness and compassion of men who are probably sociopaths. You know, let's face it. Did we not learn from Jumbotron, man? These are not honest people. These are CEOs. These are rich, spoiled people coming up on their champagne thinking they real the world. You got to go to sound or sporting events if you still start expecting better behavior. Dark.

[B]

Did you see? Yeah, that's the only one I can think of. Snooker probably.

[A]

Snooker. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's all we can think of.

[A]

The man. The also the man who stole the hat. I'm gonna say this and. And. And tie Me up. No, actually, that's not the. That's not what you say. I might get rinsed for this. A woman would never have done that.

[B]

John, I don't even think. If you got handed the hat, you'd keep the hat. You wouldn't want the hat. You're like the only person. You'd be like, no, thanks.

[A]

I'm actually very maternal. I probably would have just started breastfeeding the kid.

[B]

Okay. I gave him that.

[A]

I think you mean hilarious, Baldwin.

[B]

No, I mean Sam Hayek.

[A]

She got. Is she. Does she breastfeed kids?

[B]

Yeah, I remember she was over. She was over on a charity mission somewhere and she was breastfed someone's child.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yes, I'm sure we spoke about that. How did you miss that? Come on. That definitely happened.

[A]

But did. They probably wanted her to. I mean, she's hardly just going around randomly breastfeeding kids who don't need. Who haven't been asked to be fed.

[B]

Well, I mean, if she. If she offered. If Salma Hayek offered to breastfield one of my children, who am I to say no to Salma Hayek?

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Is that true? Actually, that's a.

[A]

That's a piece of power. Salma, could I have a go?

[B]

I'm joking. Yoke.

[A]

I consent. Sama. That's tonight's dream taken care of.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

One of my favorite stories, which is unraveling and has actually just come to a full conclusion this morning is the Cardi B trial. The Cardi B trial, which is going on because she was at an appointment in her gyno, and the security guard in the gyno was filming around the Sly and Cardi spot.

[B]

Booked out the gyno by. Right. So she'd booked out the book so nobody else would go and find out that she was pregnant.

[A]

Yeah, she's. She was attempting to maintain her privacy and as we know, like, that's, you know, a woman's right, etc. And the security guard, who was a woman, I think was filming her on the slide. And then they said Cardi kind of went for a. Called her stupid, whatever. And then they got into a physical altercation and security guard tried to sue. Said she was scratched on the face, which we've never seen any evidence of, and tried to sue her for $24 million and it ended up in courts.

[B]

I wonder where she got that figure. 24 mil? Honestly, where did you. Where did you pull that out of? What do I want for any 4 million?

[A]

I'm a guess. I'm guessing her legal team Were like, this is what we should go for. I don't know. I mean, the whole thing was bizarre as a farce. It was a farce. But Cardi was incredibly entertaining throughout the whole run of the court case. She looked fab.

[B]

She is like a doll, isn't she? I didn't know she's that stunning. She's gorgeous.

[A]

She's like a doll. And she also said, she said, let this be a lesson. She was very sand. She goes, no one go after this person. Obviously the court case was thrown out, she won. Right. But she said, don't go after this person's insta. Don't go after their family. Just leave it now. But she also said, but let this, let it be known that if this happens again, I will countersue. Now, she didn't counters you this time because it's not saying to counter sue people with no money when you have billions and billions of monies.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But she said, next time I will countersue. And I was like, good for you, Cardi.

[B]

Yeah, I think that makes her sound really sound as well. But it's like, remember the whole thing happened with Gwyneth Paltrow. People can just take you to court because they see that you've got money and they're like, I'm going to get some of your money. And, and I think that it's, it's a really good thing to say because people will try and go for her again and now they won't. They'll think twice. Because if you get counterside, you're.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like when you're obviously suing Cardi B because you want the money, because maybe you don't have a lot of your own. So there's. You don't want to be, you don't be. You don't sue by Cardi B. She will take you to the cleaner.

[B]

But also how much is like, if you think about how saying that is of Cardi B. Because how much did she have to pay for her solicitors and her lawyers? I know in all that court case for that long, she probably, that probably cost her a million anyway.

[A]

Imagine dragging her through and she's in her first trimester. No wonder she's wrecked.

[B]

Is she pregnant now? Yeah. What?

[A]

Oh, hold on.

[B]

No, I think she's pregnant before.

[A]

Sorry. But I do think she is pregnant now. But that's, that's my own assumption.

[B]

Oh, you've just made that up. Okay.

[A]

Yeah, I've made that.

[B]

Well, maybe. Okay, yeah. Well, we don't know.

[A]

I Mean, congratulations, Cardi. You look glowing. You look fab. Thanks for. Thanks for bringing more entertainment into our lives via a different channel, which is the legal system.

[B]

So you remember you said that you were. I saw. Well, I saw it on your Instagram. You said you were watching the Amanda Knox thing.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I think that, like, maybe once a month we could all watch something.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We could talk about it on the pod, but we could tell the listeners that we're gonna watch it, that we all have an opinion on it, and then we could talk about it.

[A]

This is like yesterday I was. I'm back in Dublin. I'm doing a lot of, like, beach walks and stuff. And I was thinking about. I was like. Because I like, I love recommending stuff. You like recommending stuff, and people recommend stuff to me, but I always lose the dms. I never. I never keep them. And then the recommendations are kind of wasted on me. And then people will also contact me saying, what was that thing you recommended? And I'm like, I don't bloody remember.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I was gonna do like a grid post where I just say, like, just write all your recommendations underneath this grid post and then we can all come back to us. I was like, it's basically like a digital, digital book club where no one has to do anything. Grace minimum.

[B]

I tried to do the book club, but it's hard to get everyone to do it at the same time. And then I remember I was doing my Insta lives in the book club and I just felt so embarrassed that I couldn't. Yeah.

[A]

In still lives there, they're hit and miss. You need balls of steel on those things.

[B]

I don't have balls to steal. I couldn't do it. I remember being like, this is too much. I feel. I feel shame and embarrassment.

[A]

There's the. So the Amanda Knox TV show I'm watching on Disney. Sharon Horgan plays her mother. It's really, really good. And Amanda Knox and Monica Lewinsky are co producers on it. And then, because that have gone down a little Amanda Knox hole. So John Robbins had her on his podcast how do you cope? Which I'm going to listen to today. And Dax Shepard, the armchair expert, had her on his podcast, which I have listened to. And that's a brilliant listen. How anyone, anyone thinks she is guilty at this point is beyond me. And it's so hard.

[B]

I thought she was before I started watching the Disney thing. I did, because I hadn't really looked into it. It was just everything. But when you like the first episode of that Disney thing, It's like, oh, I didn't know that all that other stuff had happened before. And it's mad though. It's so insane. Did they ever find out who did do it?

[A]

Yeah, he's in prison. I think he just got out.

[B]

Was it the barman?

[A]

No, it was just some burglar guy.

[B]

Stop.

[A]

Yeah, it was the baron. It was that guy that remembered. So you'll get to that. You'll get to it. But yeah, he's. He went to prison.

[B]

My God.

[A]

I know. Yeah. But like. And people are saying to me, oh, well, of course she looks innocent of that. She's probably. No, no, like, it's. She's still in contact with her prosecutor. So the TV show, the Disney TV show is. It starts with her going back to Italy with her mom and her husband and the newborn baby to try and meet the prosecutor, to kind of try and talk to. And she goes into it in great detail on the Dark Shepard podcast where she talks about how it's very hard to watch someone. Like, she talks about kind of belief and truth and how he was just absolutely convinced that what he was. That he was in the right. He doesn't. He's not a bad person, the prosecutor guy. He just totally believed she was guilty and.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Anyway, it's fat. It's just really, really interesting. And Sharon Horgan is, as always, I just.

[B]

So you just love Sharon Morgan.

[A]

It's great to see her in a different type of role.

[B]

Yeah, she's just such. She's such a brilliant actress.

[A]

I love her, but I love all.

[B]

Her writing and everything like that. I just think she's brilliant. Multi talented.

[A]

Yeah. There's triple threats and then there's like Sharon Horgan who's like. It's a quadruple trash.

[B]

Yeah. An octopus.

[A]

She's right.

[B]

Maybe. Yeah, she's an octopus.

[A]

Fair play, Sharon. Fair play, Sean. Good woman, Sean.

[B]

That's a one shot.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

No, it's not. The commitment. What's it from? What the hell? The Snapper.

[A]

The Snapper is our Irish film.

[B]

Have you ever watched that back? It's so when you watch it back, it's wild.

[A]

Before we leave, I just have to talk quickly. Huge news in celeb land.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Taylor Swift and Travis what's His Face are after getting engaged. That aside, because whatever. Fair play to her, she found love.

[B]

And they do seem like they're very, very in love. They're both super, super. Like they're kind of in the same. Well, maybe she's more famous. I Don't know. But they're in that same kind of league where their life is mental anyway. Both of them.

[A]

Yeah. How she managed to pull it off while on the ERAS tour is frankly triggering for me because my only excuse for not ever maintaining a relationship is because I'm so busy. And my mother.

[B]

I will hear you.

[A]

Very, very cleverly heckled me by sending me a link to Travis and Taylor's engagement and saying, are you busy? Frankly, yes, yes, yes. I clearly, yes. But what I was going to say was I didn't realize. I'm sorry.

[B]

I'm off.

[A]

Mike there. There's a really funny article in the course. So it's. It's like most Swifties were ecstatic about Taylor Swift and travel Kelsey's engagement. They've been crying at work, group chatting with their friends and furiously decoding any Easter eggs in the couple's collaborative Instagram post. You know, the Swifties go in and they do the big decoding. They're like, what?

[B]

She.

[A]

What else is she trying to tell us? But she. Then she said, but there is a community of super fans who aren't exactly thrilled. And on Tuesday, they convened in the 50, 000 members strong Gaylor Swift subreddit to rehash their long standing theory that Swift is queer. I did not.

[B]

You wish.

[A]

I.

[B]

That's like me and your man from Bridget. And I'm like, is he sure he's gay?

[A]

I was the same with Russell Toby. I was like, he's not gay.

[B]

They're like, Jonathan Beatty. Jonathan Bailey's okay. I refuse to believe it there.

[A]

I mean, we're not, we don't agree with conversion therapy unless we want to send Jonathan Swift. Is it Jonathan Swift?

[B]

Jonathan Bailey.

[A]

Jonathan Jonathan Bailey and Russell Toby. And then we might get behind us one for the road. But I didn't realize there was such a huge community of gaylords who were convinced that Taylor Swift is gay and it's really gaylord. They're calling them gaylords. But they've closed. They've closed the rat a thread now because people were kind of taking the piss out of them. But. But before they did, they got some screen grabs. So they're saying that the fact that she's wearing a striped dress and the engagement announcement, it's like prisons. They're like, she's in a prison of her own sexuality. She can't, she can't compare.

[B]

She doesn't give me lesbian vibes. She never has.

[A]

Well, she's a. She does. She could give lipstick lesbian vibes. She does. There's different types of lesbians. She does. And they're saying that her relationship with. What was her. What was your one's name? Her Mace? Kelsey? Carly Clark.

[B]

Not play lively anymore. No.

[A]

They're saying that she was going out with Cardi class, which I don't. I don't know if she wasn't up anyway. But they also then brought me down the other to how that I'd kind of gotten bored of. I'd gotten bored. The Blake Lively Justin B thing, it was kind of.

[B]

Yeah, I'm waiting for something to come out of it.

[A]

Give us the results. Come on.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Give us a yes or no.

[B]

Why did Cardi. Cardi was quick. Why can't they be quick? Yeah, hurry up.

[A]

Cardi was quick. Yeah, you're right. It's dragging on too long now. But they were saying. I didn't realize that Blake and has said nothing about the Taylor engagement and hasn't engaged with the post at all. So obviously there's been a huge fallout over the Justin Baldoni thing, which I was then thinking, is that not a bit unfair? Because it only kind of came out that Taylor was involved because Blake's text messages were subpoenaed or Justin publicized his text messages. She didn't publicly say anything about Taylor Swift. Anyway, big fallout.

[B]

I say you just want it. Yeah. You just want to be away from that anyway.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, as an outsider, it's great too. But, yeah, as an insider, I'd be allergic.

[B]

Do you know what? I'm hoping the results come February. February is not a great month. So I think that if they could work it out that, like, we do something sometimes. We need a list in February. Yeah, that'd be nice for us.

[A]

I'm on tour. Dublin. Dates available to buy in February and March. Thank you for that segue Vogue.

[B]

Lovely. I was just saying, thinking myself, what am I doing in February? I'm going to Jon's tour.

[A]

Also, Plymouth and Guilford are coming up at Barcelona. Are coming up next week and they need it. They need a plug. So that's me doing my electricity.

[B]

Pete's from Plymouth.

[A]

They don't know who Pete is.

[B]

Oh, Pete is a producer. Yeah. On another part I did. Anyway, everyone, thank you so much for listening.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

We will see you for the bonus on Wednesday. Mystic.