BLISS

Summary

My Therapist Ghosted Me – "BLISS" – April 17, 2026

Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
Special Guest/Producer: Joe Adi Wells

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Episode Overview

In this lively and candid episode of "My Therapist Ghosted Me," Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally reunite across time zones for a hilarious and heartfelt catch-up. The main focus is Joanne’s much-discussed new tattoo ("BLISS"), the ensuing drama online and within her family, and the larger topic of personal freedom, midlife change, and self-expression. The conversation is characteristically honest and irreverent, filled with banter about holidays, aging, body hair, online criticism, and the joy (and absurdity) of not giving a damn.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Reunited Across Continents & Catching Up

• Long Holidays and Social Judgment (01:05–03:55):
  • Vogue checks in from St. Barths after a 16-day holiday with her kids, prompting friendly teasing from Joanne.
  • Both discuss the societal threshold for "acceptable" holiday duration and how friends and family start to judge after the two-week mark.
  • Quote, Joanne (01:34):
    "You're so right. There does feel like there's a threshold of acceptable holiday time and you have really rallied that into the ground."
• Time Zones (04:08–05:10):
  • The effect of recording across wildly different hours—Vogue in the morning, Joanne at night, Joe in the middle of his day.
  • This chaotic arrangement is humorously dubbed as their "dream situation" for podcasting.

2. Porn Mishap & Digital Embarrassment

• Joanne’s Screen Share Incident (06:08–08:45):
  • Joanne accidentally shares a lesbian porn pop-up with Joe while troubleshooting her laptop.
  • She defensively blames a rogue tab and possible expired firewall.
  • Banter ensues about plausible deniability, "being hacked," and supporting each other’s digital “reputations” posthumously.
  • Notable Quote, Vogue (07:59):
    "Me into the porn addict, and she's there with windows. Poor Joe. He's truck."
• Sleep Streaming (09:04–10:05):
  • Joe catches Joanne lying unconscious in a dark room after she forgets to turn off her camera post-recording—awkwardness ensues.

3. Joanne’s Tattoo: The ‘BLISS’ Saga

• Why the Tattoo? (12:39–13:44):
  • Joanne, at 42, describes feeling stuck in procrastination, wanting to act on long-held desires, and choosing a bold tattoo as an act of reclaiming agency and "bliss."
  • Quote, Joanne (12:39):
    "I'm in a stage in my life... where I'm 42. I feel like I procrastinate a lot... I do. I work a lot. I don't make a lot of time for myself except for the wine and the chicken crisps... So with the tattoo, you thought, you know what? I've thought about this for 4.5 seconds. There's no more time to procrastinate."
• Reaction from the Internet and Family (15:14–18:49):
  • The tattoo prompts hundreds of DMs and strong (often negative) opinions: being called "hideous," "disgusting," and suffering warnings she'll "regret it."
  • Joanne is shocked at the volume and tone, reflecting on how personal choices still trigger such outsized commentary.
  • Vogue’s reaction is honest but diplomatic: "Well, do you know what? You can't miss it. That is for sure." (18:10)
• Philosophy and Utility (17:53–19:05):
  • For Joanne, the tattoo is a “philosophy,” a reminder to "engage in the bliss" since antidepressants alone are no longer doing the trick.
  • Quote, Joanne (17:53):
    "It's a philosophy, because the Prozac's not working as much anymore. I either go to 80 and become comatose or I get a tattoo."
• Midlife Awareness, Not Crisis (18:49–19:05):
  • Refuses to call it a midlife crisis, instead framing it as a "midlife awareness."

4. Tattoo Talk—Personal Preferences and Judgments

• Personal Expression vs. Social Conformity (19:05–22:12):
  • Both hosts reflect on how tattoos are often misread as markers of rebellion or instability.
  • Joanne addresses maternal and social expectations, defending autonomy:
    "If I was married with kids, you'd have more autonomy in your life. But because I'm not, I feel like I still sit in this kind of child version." (26:04)
• Tattoo Wish List & Comedy (29:35–33:29):
  • The trio exchange absurd suggestions for what their next tattoos could be: lobsters, tanning mitts, kettlebells, even "faces on pectorals or testicles," always with tongue in cheek.

5. Aging, Body Hair, and Beauty Regimens

• Beards and Pigmentation (34:26–39:40):
  • Vogue laments her "holiday beard" due to pigment changes; Joanne discusses hair loss treatments and fresh facial fuzz.
  • They both joke about rattling with medications and the absurdity of aging beauty routines.
  • Quote, Joe (39:09):
    "I think it's the fourth medication or the one you've mentioned in this episode."
• Men, Skincare, and Double Standards (37:30–38:24):
  • Spencer (Vogue’s husband) uses "No. 6 oil," while Joe keeps it simple with blue Nivea, highlighting male-female differences in skincare diligence.
  • Dermatologist advice: "Less is more."

6. Mother-Daughter Dynamics & Autonomy

• Parental Judgement and Adulthood (25:25–27:06):
  • Joanne: "If I. I am a 42 year old woman, I am self sufficient, I work my tits off, I have no husband, I have no children, I have nothing. I am allowed get a tattoo. Like, can we all calm the fuck down?"
  • Discussion on being “infantilized” when not married with kids.
• Inheritance Banter (27:06–28:14):
  • If Vogue were Joanne’s next of kin, she’d have her "turned into a side table or a lamp," spiraling into a routine about furniture made from bones.

7. Midlife Reflection, Resilience, and Online Backlash

• Online Toxicity (21:12–22:12 and 47:22):
  • Both share how they handle rude or entitled DMs: block, ignore, move on.
  • Joanne (47:22):
    "I'm over it now. I will take a certain level of abuse from women that I have spoken to before, but I kind of hit a wall with it all. And I'm like, stop now. Stop it. My own mother is proud of me. I'm like, I've had enough now."

8. Parenting, Moving Abroad & Future Life

• Dreaming of Moving (35:05–35:53):
  • Vogue contemplates moving her family to St. Barths for a year, fantasizing about "tropical babies" and a change of pace. Her kids, predictably, are not on board.

9. Relationships, Divorce, and Freedom

• Divorce: Stigma vs. Story (43:12–43:19):
  • Joanne associates divorced women with "having stories" and living fuller lives—chic and interesting.
  • Vogue laments the loss of her "divorcee" status but laughs about being a "double D" if she remarries and divorces again.

10. Long-Stay Hospitals & Escaping Adulthood

• Hospital Escapism (44:12–45:49):
  • Vogue brings up the viral story of a woman refusing to leave her hospital bed for six months, sparking a discussion on the appeal of being cared for and "checking out" of responsibilities.
  • Joanne humorously romanticizes nervous breakdowns:
    "I would highly... I would recommend 5 stars, have a breakdown." (45:46)
  • Both reminisce about the rare, freeing experience of simply opting out of the rat race, referencing their TV stint in "the jungle."

11. Tech Detox Anxiety

• Fear of Phone-Free Life (46:16–46:38):
  • Joanne dreads an upcoming work gig requiring her to be without her mobile for several days, revealing just how much digital dependence has affected them.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Joanne on Internet Reactions (15:14):
  "You'd Swear I got a fascist logo on my neck. Disgusting. How could you? Sick. The big one was, wait till Vogue sees this. Wait till your mother sees this."
• Joanne on Taking Action (13:44):
  "It’s not a midlife crisis—it's midlife awareness."
• Joanne on Self-Ownership (25:25):
  "I am allowed get a tattoo. Like, can we all calm the fuck down?"
• Joanne on Mental Health (45:44):
  "There is a great freedom to it when you… are forced to check out… It’s kind of glorious in a way."
• Vogue on Coping with Critics (21:44):
  “You're. No, you're out. You're out. No, you're out.”

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Noteworthy Timestamps

• Holiday Threshold Discussion: 01:34–03:55
• Porn Tab Mishap: 06:08–08:45
• Joanne’s Tattoo Philosophy and Backlash: 12:39–22:12
• Parental Judgment/Infantilization: 25:25–27:06
• Tattoo Suggestions & Comedy: 29:35–33:29
• Beard and Pigmentation Chat: 34:26–39:40
• Divorce “Chic” Reflection: 43:12–43:19
• Hospital Stay Escapism: 44:12–45:49
• Digital Detox Dread: 46:16–46:38

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Episode Tone

• Warm, self-deprecating, irreverent, and always honest.
• Moments of poignant self-reflection are balanced with absurd humor and sharp one-liners.
• The hosts are open about insecurities, mental health, and the ridiculousness of modern life, offering solidarity and laughter to listeners.

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Final Thoughts

"BLISS" is a classic episode: two friends (and their producer) navigating midlife changes, digital embarrassments, and the relentless (and often irrational) criticism that comes with living out loud in the Internet age. Whether you’re mulling a big life change or just trying to laugh off your own foibles, Joanne and Vogue’s blend of authenticity, wit, and unfiltered chat is the next-best thing to therapy. Or at least, it's a much-needed dose of bliss.

Transcript

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[Joanne McNally]

This is a global Player original podcast.

[Vogue Williams]

You should probably stay in New Zealand if this is to work.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, well, well. Was I pregnant at 12? No. Was I selling drugs at 18? No. Was I arrested for shoplifting in my 20s? Yes, but that was related to mental illness.

[Vogue Williams]

Get away from me with the vitamin C serum. I don't want it.

[Joanne McNally]

Between yourself. Myself, I had to shave my the other day. V, it's me.

[Vogue Williams]

Hello.

[Joanne McNally]

Do you remember me? Yeah, it's your on. So welcome to my therapist ghosted me. Vogue. I am your work colleague and pod wife, Joanne McNally. You're Vogue Williams and that's Jo Adi Wells in the corner box. Now, for some context, Joe or Vogue, you are beaming in from St. Bartholomew's where you remain to be on holiday, which at this stage feels like an illegal amount of time to be away. I am.

[Vogue Williams]

Once it goes out, once it goes over the two week mark, people are like, my friends are texting, like, time to come home now. I'm like, okay, sorry. I'm away for 16 days. I know I've reached the threshold of two weeks and if it makes anyone feel better, I'm fucked. I'm away with three kids and I said yes, I can't wait to go to work.

[Joanne McNally]

You're so right. There does feel like there's a threshold of acceptable holiday time and you have really rallied that into the ground. Yeah. This feels like every, every year. It's like, has she moved? Is she. Yeah, like, yeah, she's. She's resettling herself.

[Vogue Williams]

My friend Johanna was like, this is enough now. When are you coming home? Like, I'm not looking at this anymore. But yeah, but we do. I have some news. I'll tell you about my holiday news after.

[Joanne McNally]

Is it still a holiday after the six month mark? Vogue. Is that. What's the crack?

[Vogue Williams]

It is. It is 60 days. And Joanne McNally, sometimes when you go places, you also have a holiday that you tag on but people don't realize. So Joanna's a fan of the holiday as well.

[Joanne McNally]

Yes, folk. Yes, you're right. Sometimes I treat Myself to a seven hour break on the way between Torga. Yeah, you're right, folk. No, you're right. What a selfish pig I am. Look at you. Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Holiday girl.

[Joanne McNally]

She's never not.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, I'm in Melbourne doing shows. Oh, sure, we know you went early to go on holidays.

[Joanne McNally]

They're AI. All the show content, it's all AI. I'm doing nothing. I'm just sitting around eating croissants and vaping. It's been fantastic. I haven't lifted a finger, touched a stage or a microphone. No. But I. I think what you have is a very delicious life work, balance. Where you work your tits off.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

Which explains why you don't have any. And then you go traveling. Excuse me. And you get a proper Whopper break. And then you come back and you work your tits off again. It's iconic.

[Vogue Williams]

That's. I literally. I said that to Spaniards. I was like, God, I've really loved this holiday because we're obviously, we're going home and very shortly. And we're going home tomorrow, actually. Sorry, that's when we're going home tomorrow, so the fun is over. And I said Spaniards. I was like, right, let's go home workload so we can go on holidays again. Yeah, that's what I do. I just wanna, just want. I want to go and like, go on holidays and. And support other people's economies.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, wow.

[Joe Adi Wells]

Bless you for that.

[Joanne McNally]

W. Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

What.

[Joanne McNally]

What?

[Vogue Williams]

Very giving.

[Joanne McNally]

What an amazing pivot.

[Vogue Williams]

St Bars look like it needed it. So I thought, do you know, do

[Joanne McNally]

you know you should go to Pakistan next, folk.

[Vogue Williams]

You know, I do want to go there. It's actually very green now. The thing, the thing about it is I'm recording at 7am It's 12 in the day for and for Joanne, it's 11 o' clock at night. So we do feel. Everyone, I am wondering why you have. You're still in the sunglasses and you haven't done your makeup for. You promised us you were going to do your makeup.

[Joanne McNally]

This is our dream situation. You're up at the crack of chow and collagen powder. Joe's in the middle of the day. He's probably put his kids down or picking them up. I don't know how kids work, but he's fine. I'm in the evening. I've had a half bottle of reasoning and 150 grams of chicken crisps. This is literally our dream time. We're all excelling emotionally. We should always be working at opposite times of the day, to be honest.

[Vogue Williams]

The only way that can work is you're gonna have to move because Joe and I kind of work in the same timings. Many of the world works on mine and Joe's timings. You are the one who is out of sync. Not meaning to be out of sync, but you should probably stay in New Zealand if this is to work.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, well, well, that's gonna. Are you gonna have me exported? Are you for stealing. What? Are you gonna accuse me of stealing your sunglasses again? So I get sent to Australia like the Elton does and put them on the ships?

[Vogue Williams]

She knows. I like to tell you, karma's a. I lost those sunglasses. They're gone. They no longer exist.

[Joanne McNally]

Delighted to hear the news. You should open with that. I have news.

[Joe Adi Wells]

Go on.

[Joanne McNally]

Which both of you know now.

[Vogue Williams]

I need to ask you about this news.

[Joanne McNally]

Okay.

[Vogue Williams]

Is it real

[Joanne McNally]

folk? You know how I can't even plug in my own microphone? Do you think I have the AI capacity to. To make a. Make up a tattoo?

[Vogue Williams]

I honestly was like, maybe she's done a skit and she's going to tell us on the pod. And this would be the one of. Did you think that. A little. For a little minute, Joe.

[Joe Adi Wells]

Because I was like, I did. I wondered if it was just, you know, a bit of. A bit of humor maybe just.

[Joanne McNally]

Ciao. Come on now. I don't have. I don't have the smart. It's not. Well, no, it's not. No. So. But you know when you. But Vogue, when me and Joe were. We were. I was on. I was on the record a little early as I like to be. I'm either early or I don't turn up at all. That's kind of how I. How I. How I have. How I vibe. And I was. I couldn't log into the system for some reason, so I had to screen record it to Joe to show him what. Why it wasn't working and my laptop was being a little weird and he was like, log out and log back in. So I logged back in and I don't know why or how I genuinely. Joe, I don't know why this lesbian porn site popped up like that. Like it was my.

[Joe Adi Wells]

Oh, and. And. And the excuses flooded out. I don't know what that is.

[Joanne McNally]

I've never seen porn. I don't know what it.

[Joe Adi Wells]

I don't know how that got there.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, I've never seen a tip before, Joe. But in my defense, genuinely, I think my phone like my laptop because. Because Joe was like, look, I understand you've. You're on the road, you're on your own. I was like, no, Joe, no, no, no, no, no, genuinely, I like, that wouldn't be my vibe anyway. Like I'm.

[Vogue Williams]

It would have been very basic. I'll tell you.

[Joanne McNally]

Very basic.

[Vogue Williams]

I'll tell you what happens.

[Joanne McNally]

I think it's an app blocker. I think I. I think I forgot to pay my firewall or whatever.

[Vogue Williams]

No, what happened is you had opened a tab that you were watching and then when you open the tab that you're watching, other tabs pop up that you will then forget.

[Joanne McNally]

Sorry. Oh, I. I was just reading the News Vogue. I was just reading about the field protests in Ireland. I don't know how the lesbians popped up. I don't know how that happened. I was just trying to inform myself.

[Vogue Williams]

Me into the porn addict. And she's there with windows. Poor Joe. He's truck.

[Joanne McNally]

I know, it was. It was very embarrassing. Folk, you have the meanest. You've the most villainous laugh I've ever heard in my life.

[Vogue Williams]

Just so happy. Cuz you're like. You're like. I don't watch that kind of stuff.

[Joanne McNally]

You should do voiceovers for the Sopranos. You, Your. Your laugh is so evil.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, that really made me. That made me laugh.

[Joanne McNally]

No, Gen. Genuinely. And I. I say this hand on heart. I do not know where that came from.

[Vogue Williams]

She's got sunglasses on. So I can't.

[Joanne McNally]

I've been hacked. I've been hacked by. Been hacked.

[Vogue Williams]

That's what you have to say when I die and anyone gets a hold of my phone. She was.

[Joanne McNally]

Of course she was hacked.

[Vogue Williams]

She was hacked. I'll do the same for you.

[Joanne McNally]

She was hacked by that AI Stormzy porn. She was hacked. She was hacked. Nothing to do with her.

[Joe Adi Wells]

The other thing that happened last week is a thing that has happened before and we record online in a sort of online studio and then after we've recorded, I have to go and get the files, video files, and download them again. Joanne left her laptop open. Joanne had gone to bed. So I logged in.

[Vogue Williams]

With the porn. With the porn.

[Joe Adi Wells]

No, but Joanne. Joanne's unconscious body was just laying there before me. Her. Her silhouette form in a dark room. She'd left the landing light on.

[Joanne McNally]

Was like, what was I wearing?

[Joe Adi Wells]

Joe, you were just a silhouette, mate. I've no idea what you were wearing. And to be absolutely honest, I didn't dwell. I didn't stick around and have a good look. I was just like, oh God, I gotta download the files. Don't make any noise because I'LL wake her up and then that's gonna.

[Joanne McNally]

I can't believe I did that again. I cannot believe I did that again. Like, Joe, like, obviously we have a professional working and we. And we're. And we do our best to keep it that way, but, like, this is

[Joe Adi Wells]

a breach of that.

[Joanne McNally]

It's a breach. And. And you know what, Joe? It's my fault. I'm sorry. Because I'm basically. I don't know, like, sex coming. You against your will. I'm so. And I'm. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Joe Adi Wells]

I didn't consider that. You're right. I didn't.

[Joanne McNally]

I didn't.

[Vogue Williams]

I did. I did that to Briley this week. Who. Who does my vlog for me. I spending. I was filming. I was filming something.

[Joanne McNally]

Call it. No, sorry, sorry. Finger up. Call it what it's called.

[Vogue Williams]

I was doing my vlog.

[Joanne McNally]

Thank you.

[Vogue Williams]

Vlog. I was doing my vlog this week. Briley does it for me. She edits it for me. I basically, I send her all the footage. And so I'd been recording something in the bathroom. Sunny goes, oh. And I was like, that's funny. Like, were you in shot there? And he was like, no, no, no, no. I don't think I was in shot. Anyway, Briley mails me the other day and she. She's like, I nearly spat my tea. I just got a full frontal sp. I was like, oh, Briley's a lesbian. She doesn't like men.

[Joe Adi Wells]

Well, that's worse, actually. That's worse.

[Joanne McNally]

I know. She couldn't even get a cheap kick out of it.

[Vogue Williams]

Although, don't. Don't sue me, Joe.

[Joanne McNally]

Imagine I had a sex life. How embarrassing this would be. And you're so lucky I'm an incel.

[Vogue Williams]

I have the footage. I'll send it to you. And you can.

[Joanne McNally]

Please do. Will you.

[Vogue Williams]

It seems. It seems like you're doing all right with your laptop on your own there.

[Joanne McNally]

I'll stick someone else's head on him in AI.

[Vogue Williams]

I'll do it in post. Yeah, give him a little trim as well while you're at it. Hey, I tied you.

[Joanne McNally]

I had a. I'll make it longer. Like Pinocchio's nose at. Girth Atlant.

[Vogue Williams]

Thank you.

[Joanne McNally]

Listen, I said it. I said it. What if I added Vogue's face to Spencer's naked body? What would that do? That's my vibrator.

[Grainger Announcer]

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[Joanne McNally]

So Vogue. As you know, I had said that I was going to get a tattoo. I, you know, I'm in a. I'm in a stage in my life if I'm going to be honest and a bit whimsy about us, where I'm 42. I feel like I procrastinate a lot in my life. So I'm like, oh, I'll do that. I'll do that eventually. I'll do that eventually. I do. I work a lot. I don't make a lot of time for myself except for the wine and the chicken crisps, which, like isn't, you know, like so fulfilling as such. Obviously I make a big star.

[Vogue Williams]

New thing. By the way. You've gone really. You've gone really Australian there. I've never seen you eat a chicken crisp.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, they don't have them in. In around. My two favorite things in life are chicken and crisps. So. So I've actually asked. I've actually rang down to reception and asked them to remove all the bags of chicken crisps from the room because they keep in. In Melbourne as well. They, they restocking, restocking, restock.

[Vogue Williams]

Okay, so you thought that you procrastinated too much about loads of things. So with the tattoo you thought, you know what? I've thought about this for 4.5 seconds. There's no more time to procrastinate. I am. Oh, it's still there. Show me it. Show me it.

[Joanne McNally]

It's still there. Yes, because it's attacked. It's not.

[Joe Adi Wells]

You need to stand on the chair so we can see it.

[Joanne McNally]

Imagine it was just because it went. Do you remember your kids? You got little transfers of garbage pail kids and stuff and you stick them on. Do you remember this, Joe? I remember one summer I was covered in brass transfers. Yeah, brass. Joe, you're a little younger than us.

[Joe Adi Wells]

Yeah, I know the brush are.

[Joanne McNally]

But they are perform brass Cabbage Patch Dolls, Barbie and you transfer them on. But I wanted to talk for ages. I look anyway, so. And obviously I'm my tor manager, Kylie Vogue, you know, because she tormentured. Ghosted. We were in Australia as well. And she tormentors. She tormentors me in the uk. And she is, like, covered head. So, I mean, there is not an inch of her body. I'd say the only partner body that's not tatted is potentially her. I don't know, like, labia, like everything else is. And it's. I love it. I love it. I've always been attracted to tats. I love them, but because I have such a short attention span, I was like, there's nothing I can think to get, you know, that I'd care about or whatever. Anyway, Kylie has this stunning tattoo bliss written across her leg, and I've been looking at it for two years and we talk about it all the time and Vogue, as you know. And Joe, as you know, I get a little overwhelmed at times. Not in a bad way. Not in a bad way. Like nothing, Nothing mad. I'm not going to be sectioned or anything, but I do get a little overwhelmed. And me and Kylie would talk about the philosophy of, like, engaging in the bliss and just, like, calming down and. Because I don't. I'll never meditate. I couldn't give a. I went to one sound. I went to one of these classes once where they play sound bows.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, yeah? Yeah. With cacao and all that kind of stuff.

[Joanne McNally]

There was no cacao, but there was like a big drum thing. Do you know one of those. What are they called, Joe, when you say bank, what are they called?

[Joe Adi Wells]

Singing bowl, sort of.

[Joanne McNally]

No, the bigger thing. Huge, big brass yoke on its own. Gone. Good. Mom went to a gong class thing and 20 minutes in, I was like, no, I need to leave immediately. Anyway, so we've been discussing the philosophy of the bliss thing. Blah, blah, blah. Once you skip. Few went and got the tattoo. But I think because. Because I'd spoken about it, I think people thought when I talked about getting tattooed, that I was going to get like a kind of a. Like a star on my wrist or something. You know, like something kind of cutesy. Whereas it's a little bit of a statement piece. Well, well, well. Now I understand there was a parasocial relationship when you do a podcast. And that's why we do the POD Vogue. And that's why the POD has done us great, great stead for our careers, because we talk about our lives and we mine, our personal lives and all that stuff. When I say the commentary. Now in the same breath, I do understand when you put content online, you're opening yourself up to commentary. Like, I got it. Like, you know, that's kind of the point of the. The Internet. You'd Swear I got a fascist logo on my neck. Disgusting. How could you? Sick. The big one was, wait till Vogue sees this. Wait till your mother sees this. I was like, girls, I am 42 years of age. I am. I woke up.

[Vogue Williams]

Died. I literally woke up. I had so many notes. I was like, what the has happened? Because I'm five hours behind, but Bry had obviously posted for me during the night, and I was like, what has happened here? And then I was like, oh, geez. And then I was like, she's taking the piss.

[Joanne McNally]

What?

[Vogue Williams]

Did someone.

[Joanne McNally]

She's. She's not thrilled. I'll be honest. She's not thrilled.

[Vogue Williams]

But. But, like, conversation.

[Joanne McNally]

No, no, no, no, no. Because it was. It was sticky. But I was like, you know what? Like, I'm. I'm. I'm 42 years of age. I. I work, you know, I. I'm entitled to graffiti and sabotage my life if I so want, and I love it. But like I say, you'd swear I'd gotten a. I. I cannot explain. And. And also, tattoos. They're so personal. Anyway, Joe, do you want to see it?

[Joe Adi Wells]

Yep. Stand on the chair. Let's see.

[Joanne McNally]

It's a little do. And this is only the start. Wait till you see what I'm about to do to my ass cheeks.

[Joe Adi Wells]

There we are. Yeah, we can see it. Yeah, we got that.

[Joanne McNally]

So here it is. It's a philosophy, because the Prozac's not working as much anymore. So I saw. I. I said I needed something else to focus on. I want 60 milligrams of Prozac, and it's not really working. I. I either go to 80 and become comatose or I get a tattoo.

[Vogue Williams]

I mean. Well, do you know what? You can't miss it. That is for sure.

[Joanne McNally]

It's. That's there. Vogue. You're so funny. Do you know. Do you know what this is? You're like, when my mother comes to my shows, and I'm like, did you like it, Mom? And she goes, you know what? Sure. I couldn't hear a thing. And. And I liked your costume.

[Vogue Williams]

Your costume. I like your jumper, too, today. It's very nice. I. I think tattoos are very personal. They are personal to what you want and what you like. And if you're the one looking at it all the time, you're the one that needs to. To like it. I'm not. I'm not a mad tattoo person, as you know. I've never been a mad tattoo person.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm in my 40s. I'm not going to Call it a midlife crisis because I think that's reductive. But something happens and a, you know, you're now in the same bracket as me where you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I could literally have seven years left of my life. I don't know when I'm going to go. I want to, I want to it

[Vogue Williams]

up to start living and we certainly won't fucking lose, you know, place tattoo of me.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, do you know, do you know what's so funny? Like we are so. I feel like we're such frigid vanilla women. Like there's, there's friends of mine who were getting tramp stamps of 12 years of it me. She didn't like that.

[Vogue Williams]

It's so funny because Joanne went and got a big massive tattoo for her midlife crisis. I was looking.

[Joanne McNally]

No, not midlife crisis awareness.

[Vogue Williams]

Midlife awareness.

[Joanne McNally]

Midlife.

[Vogue Williams]

I was looking. I was looking at buying this blow puffer thing yesterday that's really good for your breathing and practice your breathing technique and it's good for sleep and anxiety. We are on opposite ends of the scale. I'll be. What's that called? What's that called when people do mad to be healthy Bio.

[Joanne McNally]

You're gonna biohacker. Yeah. Like Brian Johnson.

[Joe Adi Wells]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

You'll be selling your, your neon pink supplements or whatever. Yeah, yeah. But I, I so obviously also Vogue. I wanted to say since I got to Australia, like when I say we've really missed out because we haven't been in communication much because obviously we're on such different time zones. But I've been doing, there's been a lot of sleep chat and I was like, Vogue would look, I know, I'm sorry, my circadian rhythm.

[Vogue Williams]

Because I went from talking to.

[Joanne McNally]

I've been going through multiple time zones of late. I don't know my arts for my elbow. But I was like, Vogue would love this chat because I was very much invested in sleep chat. How much I was getting, how much of it was good, how much of it was drink related on planes, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, that aside, Vogue, I decided to do up a list. I have two things to say. One, I've done a list of the worst tattoos in the world of all celebrities. Will I do that now?

[Vogue Williams]

Well, can I guess a couple?

[Joanne McNally]

Well, you know, we both know Ben Affleck. Yes. And now that I have been on the receiving end, I am now very much team Ben. I understand what, why he has a phoenix rising out of his arse. I guess.

[Vogue Williams]

Like how many comments are we talking here? Like, did you just get hundreds?

[Joanne McNally]

Do you know that? I was like, there was girls that I. Do you know the way in your DMs, you kind of. Some women like to kind of reply. You reply to on the regular, like. And you're not. Like, you don't know them. It's all the parasocial thing. But a couple of them came in to me really hard and I. I blocked them.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, I actually just blocked someone this morning. They said something about my. My kids.

[Joanne McNally]

Sorry, that's different. No, but they've little.

[Vogue Williams]

Little slights almost that, like, I couldn't. But like, little comments. And I was like, no. Then they said something about my kids sitting. I was like, no, you're gone.

[Joanne McNally]

You're. No, you're out. You're out. No, you're out.

[Vogue Williams]

I need to know what people are like, just really, like, going in on you.

[Joanne McNally]

Hideous, Disgusting. You're going to regret this. What the is wrong with you? You're obviously pissed out of your mind. Blah, blah, blah. Like, just really going in. And I was like, girls, I understand we all comment on stuff that people do, but, like, you'd swear I had Live Laugh Love tattooed across my neck. It is my leg.

[Vogue Williams]

I think you might have gotten away with Live Laugh Love. I think it's just. I wasn't expecting the size, to be honest. And I thought you were doing like varsity letters or bubble letters.

[Joanne McNally]

There's men who would slip into the DMs, as such, who on paper have nothing going for them. In fact, they would have things going against them as such. Do you know what I mean? But if they have a tattoo, I don't know what it is. I don't know where it's come from. I find them insanely attractive. I would get up on a gremlin if he had a necktar.

[Vogue Williams]

You see, that's the thing. I don't like tattoos for myself, personally, but I feel like if somebody has tattoos and they don't tell us. Fancy this. Because he's desperate for one.

[Joanne McNally]

Is he?

[Vogue Williams]

If somebody. Yeah, he wants a few. Don't get on. Don't even get on to him.

[Joanne McNally]

But hovering.

[Vogue Williams]

I like. I like when somebody who has, like, there's loads. You know what I mean? Like, so they've like. It's been going on for a while, so it's not just like. Like they had like a man who has. Has quite a few. That's why I don't mind. I used to go to go tattoos on his hands and everything.

[Joanne McNally]

Very attractive.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, delish. Well, I. Your man who did my tattoo, I asked him, I was like. Because we were chatting away, he was saying he'd actually come to the. He'd actually been to the Peanut for show.

[Vogue Williams]

How long did it take, by the way?

[Joanne McNally]

In and out, Two hours.

[Vogue Williams]

A painful.

[Joanne McNally]

It was, it was at the start. Well, I obviously took a load of sawpouts before I went in. Yeah. Which I do every day anyway. But I was like, take extra sawpause because you're getting attacked. And then it was at the start because he was like, oh, God. You're like, you're kind of really holding together. And I was like, yeah, grand. But then as it moves across the leg, kind of the inside of the leg is a little more sensitive. No, it's sore. Like, it's absolutely sore. Like I can imagine. Like I was in and out, whereas I was chatting to the. This male comic. I know who's. He's covered in tattoos and we're talking about it and he was saying that one of his. One of his tattoos was. It was five working days. So he was in there in the morning and he left in the evening. And like now that would be. Because I knew, I was like, it's not, it's not, it's not long, you know, like it's going to come to an end, whatever. But no, yeah, it's so. It is sore. But like cares. Life is sore. Do you know what I mean?

[Joe Adi Wells]

Medically speaking, please don't take sulpidines every day. Please consult a medical professional before you take any medication.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm telling the pharmacy on.

[Joanne McNally]

You can't get Cody in Australia. Do you know that?

[Joe Adi Wells]

Joe, I'm sorry for you.

[Vogue Williams]

Can you get in?

[Joanne McNally]

Not over the counter, no.

[Vogue Williams]

And you can't take my. You can't get melatonin unless you're over the age of 55. Did you know that? What? Not in Australia. Yeah, in Australia, unless you're over the age of 55, you're not allowed to have melatonin. Because I was so jet lagged when I got there. I don't ever remember it being that bad. But then I remembered I used to go in the Absolute session when I used to fly back there. So I'd get home and then I just stay up so my body be like, what's happening? Then I would. It's the best thing. It's the best way to do it. You've got to tell us a bit about what Pat said. How did you tell her? Did she see it on the Internet first? Did you tell her before you went in. Is she talking to you now?

[Joanne McNally]

She. Yeah, she saw it on the Internet. First I'll say to you what I said to my mother. If I. I am a 42 year old woman, I am self sufficient, I work my tits off, I have no husband, I have no children, I have nothing. I am allowed get a tattoo. Like, can we all calm the fuck down? Was I pregnant at 12? No. Was I selling drugs at 18? No. Was I arrested for shoplifting in my 20s? Yes. But that was related to mental illness.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

Therefore, I do feel I am entitled. Do you know what I think? When you're single with no kids and obviously because me and my mother are very close, if I was married with kids, you'd have more autonomy in your life. But because I'm not, I feel like I still sit in this kind of child version, if you know what I mean. Does that make sense? Joe is nodding but his mic is off.

[Vogue Williams]

He kind of feels you like, well, I still sees you as a child's child.

[Joanne McNally]

I think you, if you don't, if you were married with children, then you're like undeniably adult. If you're not, you're kind of slightly still infantilized in a way. Do you know what I mean? Like a certain. You're just. She's like my kind of person. Like, she's still my next in kin. Whereas I'm assuming, you know, you would choose one of your children as your next of kin because they're going to live longer. It's a more sensible decision.

[Vogue Williams]

I should be your next of kin. Sorry, just saying. But I live in London and so

[Joanne McNally]

do you, so I would love that.

[Vogue Williams]

And I'll be.

[Joanne McNally]

You'd have my ashes turned into a stunning crustacean framed on the wall.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, I'd take the skull. The school would be glad.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, you'd turn me into a dresser. So when I was in Morocco with the girls, we were looking around at furniture and there was gorgeous piece of furniture and they were made from camel bone. And then me and one of the girls, Laura, we were like, oh my God, like, I didn't know you could make furniture at a bone. And I was like, oh my God, I want to be a side table. And then we spiraled into what furniture we would choose to be, you know, and I was like, I'd love to be a side table or a lamp, obviously. You know, I'm big into ceramics. So. Yeah, vogue. Imagine you imagine you took my corpse and I will die first. We all know that. I say I have three years left. Imagine you took my corpse, skinned it off, gave it to a professional and turned me into either a coat hanger or a lamp.

[Vogue Williams]

No, I'd have you something you'd be part of place A coat hanger. I wouldn't put you in the cupboard.

[Joanne McNally]

No, no, no, sorry.

[Vogue Williams]

No, no,

[Joanne McNally]

sorry. A coat hanger in the hall. I'm not going to the cupboard.

[Vogue Williams]

No, no, you're not going to the covered. I'll have you like property. Like you'll be in our like, family area.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or bunk beds.

[Vogue Williams]

Damn it. You see, I should have. I should have kept Winston. I knew it. And it was only because you all told me. Everyone would think I'd be weird if I stuffed Winston. I could be petting that dog now if it wasn't for all of you.

[Joanne McNally]

Speaking of Winston. So I did a list of the tattoos that if you were to get a tattoo, I'll stop.

[Vogue Williams]

I want to win.

[Joanne McNally]

Can I just say. I know. I thought I have Winnie on the list.

[Vogue Williams]

Can I just be winning?

[Joanne McNally]

I think, I think. I think our parents are like. Kids go fucking bananas. We've really kept our shit together. We haven't done anything insane. You know, there's parents out there dealing with kids who are like, have gone off the rails completely.

[Vogue Williams]

But you want. Our parents didn't really know, like when. Come on, think about what we were getting up to. We were hardly Latter Day Saints.

[Joanne McNally]

I know. I said pat, you swear I got a dick tattooed in my forehead. Can we all just rein it in, please?

[Vogue Williams]

Do you remember that program, Summer outside? He got the dictation.

[Joanne McNally]

Do I what I've been talking about? I've been talking about it non stop since I got here. Every Australian I meet, I'm like, Summer Heights, I love you, girl with a bad habit.

[Vogue Williams]

Bad habit for drugs.

[Joanne McNally]

Okay, so here's what I thought that you Vogue if you were to get a tattoo.

[Vogue Williams]

You've got me on the turn at Winston already. Stop. Imagine a little if they could do a tiny Winnie on my wrist, my dad's signature.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, for sake. Yeah, you see, this is the bollocks that we're talking about. No, commit or don't.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm like. And my granny's name.

[Joanne McNally]

Your granny Vogue. I've known you 60 years. I've never heard you once mention your granny.

[Vogue Williams]

Okay, Marjorie.

[Joanne McNally]

Marjorie, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll get Lure Pack tattooed on my wrist. I'll get Lure. If we're gonna go. If we're going to go in the border route.

[Vogue Williams]

My My Auntie Sharon. My quadruple wick. Auntie Sharon will be listening to this and she will hear you. That is her mother, Marjorie. Marjorie.

[Joanne McNally]

And God rest herself. God rest her buttery soul. I've never heard of her. Here's what I thought. Ideas for Vogue's task. Yeah, a lobster, obviously.

[Vogue Williams]

Obviously. Yeah, yeah. People really associate me to the lobster. I don't own the lobster. Like, I don't. I actually do. You know what? I hate lobsters. I'm terrified of them. I would never touch a lobster. I don't even eat them because that's how scared I am of them.

[Joanne McNally]

There's a giant lobster in your basement.

[Vogue Williams]

I know, but he's dead.

[Joanne McNally]

Okay, look. Okay, so from now on, the list will be rhetorical.

[Vogue Williams]

Do you know what I used to say when I was going into the jungle? They were like. When I went into the jungle, they're like, what are you scared of? I was like, fish and crabs and lobsters. They're like, I think you'll be okay. But then I had those little crawfish and I was like, I don't want to be in with the crawfish.

[Joanne McNally]

You're like Michelin restaurants. Basically anything high end. Food and privilege. These are my biggest fears.

[Vogue Williams]

Fluffy duck service. Duck feather pillows.

[Joanne McNally]

Good service terrifies me.

[Vogue Williams]

If that's Kerast shampoo, hate it.

[Joanne McNally]

A daily curly blow dry, please.

[Vogue Williams]

No, don't do it to me. I couldn't stand it. No facials. No facials.

[Joanne McNally]

No facials. For sake. Not the polynucleotides under the eyes. No.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, God. Get away from me with the vitamin C serum. I don't want it. Yes. They were all on my list.

[Joanne McNally]

So here's what I thought. If you were going to get a tattoo. Yeah. I thought a Faberge egg between your breasts. No, no, no. Rhetorical. Rhetorical.

[Vogue Williams]

Not looking for okay, but okay. I don't want it. Don't.

[Joanne McNally]

A tanning mitt.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, that's a good one.

[Joanne McNally]

On your inner thigh. I thought that would be kind of a little like a proper little tanning mish.

[Vogue Williams]

That would be a good one.

[Joanne McNally]

A sleep mask.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, yeah, I love a sleep mask. Yeah. With little earplugs beside us.

[Joanne McNally]

A kettlebell.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

Then I went really deep and I was like, she could tattoo abs on. But then I was like, no, Joanne, because she already has them. And then I thought, Joe could do that.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, nice.

[Joanne McNally]

I have a list for you. Joe as well. Yeah. No, no, we know, Joe, we know.

[Vogue Williams]

You have to get one of these. You're attack girl. Now you have to get one of these.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm a tac girl. Hardcore. It's gonna be a heart, it's gonna be a Hardy.

[Vogue Williams]

Next.

[Joanne McNally]

Gonna be on a hardy.

[Vogue Williams]

Would not surprise me at all.

[Joanne McNally]

Joe, for you, go on two packs.

[Joe Adi Wells]

Thank you.

[Joanne McNally]

No, no, sorry, not, not, not. No, sorry. Not to draw. Not to draw the packs on. Sorry, I meant on your packs.

[Joe Adi Wells]

Oh, right. I thought you just needed to. More muscle. No, no, no, it wasn't there.

[Joanne McNally]

No, Joe, I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't think about your body.

[Joe Adi Wells]

Thank you.

[Joanne McNally]

Vogue on one pack, me on the other. Face taps.

[Joe Adi Wells]

Oh, yeah, be fine. Any preference?

[Joanne McNally]

What would you think? Or maybe one testicle each, me on one, tastical, Vogue on the other.

[Joe Adi Wells]

Less keen on that.

[Vogue Williams]

The packs. The packs.

[Joanne McNally]

Listen, they're just suggestions, yeah?

[Joe Adi Wells]

No, we're just. These are just ideas. And that's fine.

[Joanne McNally]

Speak to Josie, see what she says. But I think.

[Vogue Williams]

I think Josie would like it, to be honest.

[Joanne McNally]

I think she'd be okay with us.

[Joe Adi Wells]

Do you think?

[Joanne McNally]

I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe Adi Wells]

We can run it by just, you

[Vogue Williams]

know what girls say. Because she won't know if you're talking about your kids or us. And then you come home with a clip and then you say, actually, yes, Josie, I ran this by you.

[Joanne McNally]

So I did say this was approved.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, yeah. You can't be annoyed.

[Joanne McNally]

This was signed off, honey. I told you, remember? You said I was getting a girl on each arse cheek. And you said, gorgeous, stunning. Love it.

[Vogue Williams]

There you go.

[Joanne McNally]

It'll be me and my sunglasses and Vogue on our e scooter.

[Vogue Williams]

I have grown a holiday beard, which is brilliant news.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, go on.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. You know when you get the pigmentation. Mine was used to just be a tash and now it's gone full beard. Full beard. And I asked Benny, I said, do you notice it? And he goes, no. And then yesterday he was like. Actually, yeah, I was like, oh, no. Like, it's. It's real bad.

[Joanne McNally]

So not hair as such. No, no, you've developed pigmentation. Because I'll tell you, a couple of

[Vogue Williams]

cuts on the side of my microderma blading or whatever. Dermaplaning.

[Joanne McNally]

I'll tell you about my. My actual. My actual beard in a second. But come on, carry on.

[Vogue Williams]

So we're away and do you know what? We had this thought that in like four or five years time, we might move here for a year and do a school year here, so the kids. Because you ever see Those families that are always away on holidays and always doing stuff.

[Joanne McNally]

I knew, yeah, knew she was going

[Vogue Williams]

to do this in like four or five times. You can come. I'd love that. Because I've no friend. I have no friends here. There's no friends. Imagine like when you're a kid getting to grow up somewhere like this, even if it's for a year. Even though the kids were like, no, we'd absolutely hate that. We're not leaving our school.

[Joanne McNally]

Stop.

[Vogue Williams]

It's beautiful.

[Joanne McNally]

French babies, little baguette babies.

[Vogue Williams]

Stop. Wear berets over here. Where's your beret? We're going to the beach. Where's your beret? We're in the Caribbean.

[Joanne McNally]

If you have the opportunity to have little tropical babies for a year and turn them into little mermaids, I would do it in a shot.

[Vogue Williams]

Benny is. We're planning his 40th here, so he's going to do his 40th at a time when it's very quiet over here. So we're planning that as well.

[Joanne McNally]

Your husband's not 40, do you know that? I was sorry to interrupt you there, but I'm obviously not sorry enough to not do it. I was, I. Yeah, they're fine. Hooked up with a guy a couple of times and recently he invited me to his 30th birthday. No. I was like, thirsty. Scoozy say, scoozy, say what? I was like, how are you not even 30 yet?

[Joe Adi Wells]

Was he having a bouncy castle?

[Vogue Williams]

What do they do? They're 30th now.

[Joanne McNally]

One of those. Plastic ball. One of those

[Joe Adi Wells]

and a slime.

[Vogue Williams]

What are they called? She's going to. She's going to Gambados for his birthday. Children's play. A place off play.

[Joanne McNally]

I robbed a purple dragon for the day. Can't wait.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh my God, his 30th.

[Joanne McNally]

Now he's got an old cell, he's got an el sale, blah, blah, blah, whatever. But. But I was. Because I bet to tease you about the fact that Spencer isn't 40. And then I was like, joanne, bit of self awareness wouldn't get us right there.

[Vogue Williams]

Spencer might. Spencer might not have turned 40, but it brings me great joy that he looks older than 40 because he is sitting out in that zone and I'm like, what's that you're putting on your face? Still on the sixth oil. He's on the six oil. I don't know where he buys it, where he finds it, but he's whacking 6 oil all over his face. Oh, wait till you See, have you seen the color of him?

[Joanne McNally]

But you know what lads are like. We could have a 2020 skincare routine and it would knock a week off us. And lads would do nothing and wash their face with toilet duck and look 12, like, it makes no sense. Look at Joe. Joe. Do you even like that?

[Joe Adi Wells]

If you're going to ask me about any sort of routine, I don't have one. I put moisturizer on because my face falls off otherwise. But, yes, it's blue Nivea.

[Vogue Williams]

I knew it'd be blue. There's nothing wrong with blue Nivea, though.

[Joe Adi Wells]

It's the cheapest. It just does it.

[Joanne McNally]

Do you know what, actually, So a dermatologist, Katrina Ryan, who me and Vogue are hooked into. Like, we are. I God love her. I'm texting her, like, all the time.

[Vogue Williams]

Stop texting. I need to text her about the beard.

[Joanne McNally]

Katrina. Oh. Because I love skincare. I love it. It's like. It's like a hobby of mine. I absolutely love it.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, me too.

[Joanne McNally]

And she's like, less is more. Because I get sent a lot of skin care from brands and. And then you kind of end up using it because you're like, I don't know, waste it. Because obviously I'm Irish in the famine. And she's like, joanne, less is more. Like, stop. Stop putting all this in your face. She's like, Sierra V. Keep it really simple. The beard. Sorry, Vogue. Can I just say, because you know the way I've lost my front hairline with the bleaching. Yeah. So I'm on the minoxidil.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, God, no. What's an oxidol?

[Joanne McNally]

It's a prescribed tablet that helps the hair regrowth and it is working. I've got little baby hairs. Joe, look. Little.

[Vogue Williams]

Do you Honestly, do you rattle when you walk around? Here's another thing.

[Joe Adi Wells]

I think it's the fourth medication or the one you've mentioned in this episode.

[Joanne McNally]

How dare. How dare both of you. How dare both of you. I just want to be Sorry. Sorry that I want to be mentally well and haired.

[Joe Adi Wells]

Minoxidil.

[Joanne McNally]

Sorry that I'm so sorry.

[Joe Adi Wells]

Sorry.

[Joanne McNally]

They want to be happy and have a hairline. Sorry.

[Vogue Williams]

Tell me right now, does it make your. Are you getting a beard from it or is that not just because we're in our 40s? Come on. Everyone gets a beard about 40s.

[Joanne McNally]

Between yourself? Myself, I had to shave my arms the other day.

[Vogue Williams]

No, I want some of that. Really? Imagine the hair.

[Joanne McNally]

I sat there, I was having my hair and makeup Done for a job in Melbourne that I was doing. And you're one. The hair makeup artist. I was like, oh, you need to be doctor. Bit of derma blading. Which, Joe, we've explained to you before. Derma blading is just a feminine term for shaving your face. We just don't like to call it that. And it's the optics. And she. And I looked at my arms. She had a mirror in front of me and I was like, oh, this is proper. I'm an animal. Not like. This is like. There was my arms had a full blown beard and so I term a blade to them.

[Joe Adi Wells]

You're a mammal.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm a mammal. No, hold on. Am I a mammal?

[Joe Adi Wells]

Joe, we're all mammals.

[Joanne McNally]

Does a mammal not breathe underwater?

[Joe Adi Wells]

Definitely not. Most certainly not, no.

[Joanne McNally]

God, you're so condescending, Joseph.

[Joe Adi Wells]

I. I actually know. I think you're thinking of fish.

[Joanne McNally]

Don't you dare.

[Vogue Williams]

Fish have no hair. Fish are very silky. You're like a silky little fish.

[Joanne McNally]

Life is gonna. Life.

[Vogue Williams]

Do you like that song? Life is life.

[Joanne McNally]

No.

[Vogue Williams]

What Life?

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, you're one eating the toast. The worst lyrics I've ever heard in my life.

[Vogue Williams]

No, no, it's not that song. It's a really good song Opus.

[Joanne McNally]

I don't listen.

[Joe Adi Wells]

Thinking of the song by Desiree. Life, oh, life, oh, life.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, of course I am. Oh, Jesus. Of course I am. That's one of my favorite songs. It'll be if I ever got married.

[Vogue Williams]

You're just slagging it off a minute ago.

[Joanne McNally]

If I ever get married, that'll be my first dance. Put it on. Put on the record there, Joe.

[Vogue Williams]

Do you know what. Do you know what my first dance song was? And it's like I'd never listen to

[Joanne McNally]

it now anymore to know because I wasn't invited. Go on.

[Vogue Williams]

I didn't know you for the first one. For sake. Not really matter. Doesn't matter. You were invited. You just didn't get the invite because it went to your previous address. This is what it happens. Someone invited me to their wedding the other day, but they didn't invite me. They're like, I was gonna invite you, but I didn't want to invite you because it might be awkward for you. And then I was like, listen, that

[Joanne McNally]

was your ex husband.

[Vogue Williams]

That's. That's all. No, he's already. No, he did not invite me to his new wedding. Weird.

[Joanne McNally]

I think I'd love to see it, but I don't know how you feel.

[Vogue Williams]

I did find that incredibly rude. That he didn't invite me, actually. And that is why we don't talk.

[Joanne McNally]

You know, I was like. You're like, I'd give you away happily. Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

I'd be beating them down the aisle.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah. He's like, I was. I was probably going a little slower down the aisle here. Like, you're like throwing them down the

[Vogue Williams]

aisle, pulling them by the ear.

[Joanne McNally]

Come on, we're off.

[Vogue Williams]

It's your problem now, my friend.

[Joanne McNally]

We're so mean.

[Vogue Williams]

I used to think that, though, because he was obviously engaged loads of times before I was like, those lucky. What, you mean because they never got married, they just got engaged.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, do you know what?

[Vogue Williams]

I will say that would have been great.

[Joanne McNally]

I do think there's something chic about getting divorced. I do. I don't know why I feel. When I meet women now who are divorced, I feel like they've got stories. I don't know. I feel like you've got. You've lived a life. Like I'm just still. Same shit, different day, you know, Like, I haven't had the same kind of, I don't know, romantic trauma. I don't know, I just. I kind of admire it. I think it's chic. I'd love to be divorced, but now

[Vogue Williams]

the problem is I'm no longer a divorcee, which I liked the sound of. Now I'm just married, which is a bit, you know. Yeah, I know.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, I mean, for now. For now. For now, I'll be a double D.

[Vogue Williams]

A double, double divorce. A. I will. If Spenny keeps snoring over here. Hell, I can't.

[Joanne McNally]

Like, I actually drop a tennis ball to his back. Strap a tennis ball to his back. That's what the old school women did. Stitched a golf ball into his back. So when he rolls in his back, he. Because they don't snore on their front. They're not ar on their front.

[Vogue Williams]

He's snoring left, right and center, honestly. And when I'm like to him, Spenny, snoring, snoring. He's like, I was awake there. I know I wasn't snoring. And I'm like, I'm not having a fight with you about the fact that you're actually snoring. I'm sitting here listening to you. I haven't just nudged you to say snoring. And now you're telling me that you were awake when you weren't because you were snoring.

[Joanne McNally]

I. Like, I've. I've. I've shared a bed with men on several occasions. Humble brag. And there is a moment in the night where, like, could I stab him?

[Vogue Williams]

Did you hear about the woman who won't leave her hospital bed?

[Joanne McNally]

Go on.

[Vogue Williams]

You know, you find these mad, mad stories online. I'm like, is that real? I have. Please, God, tell me it's not AI but it seems very legit. There's a woman, and she has been. She has overstayed her stay in hospital by sick months. They've tried to get her out, and she refuses to leave. And I was reading it and I was like, fair play, because do you ever get, like, do you ever feel, like, sick or really, like, if I'm really hungover, I'm like, I just. I wish I could get little nudge off a car and then I could get picked up and taken to the hospital and looked after for the day until I feel better. It's a really nice place to be. Everyone's kind to you and, like, if you're not, like, a generally sick person, you don't really get a lot out of it. So if I ever go in, I probably will take some time out in there for a couple of weeks.

[Joanne McNally]

Who doesn't want to be waited on hand and force. And a hospital is free. Well, in Ireland, obviously. In the States it's not, but, like, it's stunning. I think I'd love that. I. There was a meme going around, and every time I see it, it makes me laugh every single time. And I've seen it, I'd say 12 to 15 times, and it's someone kind of waking up and they're like, oh, when you hear the sound of the rain outside, but you know you're cozy because you're in a mental asylum. I know. It's like when you hear the rain outside, but you know, you don't have to go to work because you're in a mental asylum. And they go back to sleep smiling. And I was like, oh, the joy. I will say, as someone who lost their minds completely, there is a great freedom to it when you, when you are. When people say you're forced to check out of the human race and the rat race, it's. Yeah, it's kind of glorious in a way. You're like, there is a. There is a freedom to it.

[Vogue Williams]

It's.

[Joanne McNally]

I. I would highly. I would recommend 5 stars have a breakdown.

[Vogue Williams]

But removing yourself from the world in that kind of way, which is obviously doing is a nice. Like, that's the thing about doing the jungle and Stuff that was one of my favorite things about it. Like, you're literally in there and you're back to basics and you've no phone. And the freedom of not having a phone and just being like, well, I can't get back to anyone. It's nothing is my problem now. Somebody else is gonna have to sort that out. And it's just like, you probably. That will never happen again to me till I'm dead.

[Joanne McNally]

I have a job coming up that I'm not allowed to have a phone on, and I'm so stressed about it now. I want to do the job, obviously.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

But the idea of not having a phone, I'm like, I. I don't.

[Vogue Williams]

That is the least of your. You're gonna. It will take you two days, and then you'll forget.

[Joanne McNally]

Are you sure? Because I assume I'll just be like, swiping on a brick or something just to get kind of the finger motion of it just to like.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm like, I don't understand how it's mad how quickly you'll forget. You just won't even really don't have it. No. And it's really. It's so, like, it's. It's like, without saying into, well, cacao ceremony. It's very freeing. Oh, yeah, really nice. Now, you do have that thing of, like, you know, when you give up smoke and you kind of like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have holding something to your mate the whole time you have that because your phone's, like, always in your hand.

[Joanne McNally]

It's like a neuter dog. You ever seen a neuter dog try and shag something and then it kind of remembers halfway through. It's got no nuts or whatever. I don't know what they take out. I don't know what the neutering system is.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, everybody, there you have us. The tattoo is real on stock. Stop sending Joanne mean messages, because it's here to stay.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm over it now. I will take a certain level of abuse from women that I have spoken to before, but I, I kind of hit a wall with it all. And I'm like, stop now. Stop it. Stop it. My own mother is proud of me. I'm like, I've had enough now.

[Vogue Williams]

I had to imagine how I thought I had to wait till the pod. I, I. She got this done days ago. I haven't been able to say a single word to her because I nearly asked you last night, is it real? And I was like, no, just.

[Joanne McNally]

Sorry. Just tomorrow, just to say Amanda Seafield has min tattooed on her foot.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, but what size is that you on? It's probably a little minch.

[Joe Adi Wells]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

It's not. It's not a huge men. I'll agree. It's, it's, it's. It's small enough. It's discreet. It's a discreet min on her foot.

[Vogue Williams]

Thank you. Thank you so much, everyone for listening. We will see you on the bonus next week.

[Joanne McNally]

Bless. Bliss out. I need to start making. I need to start making a thing of the saying so that it sounds like it.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. So everyone.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, so it sounds like I've done something with thought. Bless, guys. Means a lot to me.

[Vogue Williams]

This has been a global player, original production.