Captain Joanne, Jordyn Woods & Squirrels

Summary

Podcast Summary: My Therapist Ghosted Me

Episode: Captain Joanne, Jordyn Woods & Squirrels

Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
Date: April 3, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this honest and tangentially rambunctious episode, Vogue and Joanne embrace their trademark chaotic energy as they attempt (and sometimes fail) to stay on topic. The duo addresses their recent "whirlwind of misinformation," discusses conspiracy theories (from Marilyn Manson's rib to Disney's Frozen), shares showbiz anecdotes about Joanne's new role as a panel show captain, recounts luxury villa encounters with Jordyn Woods, delivers bizarre Florida news stories, and explores everything from male loneliness to wild squirrel attacks. With Joe occasionally chiming in and plenty of self-deprecating humor, it’s a classic installment of relatable oversharing, hilarious diversions, and just enough questionable advice.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Correction Corner and Misinformation (00:32–05:16)

• Feedback from Listeners: Vogue and Joanne read out listener comments calling last week's episode a "master class in the inability to finish one topic" (03:20).
• Notable Corrections:
  • The viral Usher vs. Bieber photo was AI-generated (01:43).
  • Misnaming the Wu Tang Clan as "Wu Tang Clang" (03:33).
  • Incorrect claims about Hemsworths in The Housemaid movie (01:48).
• Attitude Towards Facts:
  • "We don't deal in facts. We deal in suggested memes." – Vogue (05:06)

2. Conspiracy Theories and Urban Legends (05:17–07:54)

• Discussed how conspiracy theories spread, including the infamous Marilyn Manson rib removal rumor.
• Joanne narrates receiving conspiracy ideas from listeners due to prior discussions (05:20).
• Joe fact-checks Marilyn Manson and describes how rumors can get wildly out of hand.
  • "Joe, would you mind sending us through a list of men that don't have allegations against them and we can just work off that?" – Joanne (07:17)
• Conclusion: Most of these rumors are just "urban legends," best handled with humor.

3. Rumors, Humiliation & The Washing Line Analogy (07:55–09:08)

• Vogue and Joanne reflect on how ludicrous some public rumors can be, comparing them to personal problems.
  • "If you put your problems out on the line, you'll take your own back instead of someone else's." – Vogue (08:08)
  • Extended metaphor with washing baskets and laundry line (08:41).

4. Showbiz Updates: Joanne the Team Captain (10:22–16:35)

• Joanne recounts being team captain for a new panel show, Unacceptable.
• Despite feeling unqualified, she admits the pressure led to her crying in one episode (13:14).
• Discusses the stress of winning over a cold live audience vs. her tour crowd (15:25).
  • "When an audience isn’t on board with you… wow." – Joanne (15:38)
• Ramesh Ranganathan’s production company is involved; he appears as a guest (16:30).

5. Luxury Villas, Manifesting, and Jordyn Woods (16:49–20:29)

• Vogue describes touring “the most insane villa” at Eden Rock, St. Barts, for her vlog (17:31).
• Unexpected encounter with Jordyn Woods and her family (18:33).
  • “Holy — it’s Jordyn Woods. Kylie Jenner’s best friend!” – Vogue (19:38)
• Playful discussions about manifesting villa ownership and envy of celebrity lifestyles.

6. Kardashians and Chinese Memes (21:33–23:00)

• Kris Jenner has become a “good luck meme” in China—people post her photo to manifest success (22:03).
  • “If you want to be really successful, you’ve got to post Kris Jenner.” – Vogue (22:52)
• Reminiscing about chain emails and superstition memes.

7. Getting Scammed & Reboots (23:07–23:48)

• Joanne admits she’d answer “Nigerian prince” scam emails, while Vogue jokes about energy levels:
  • “Vogue’s energy reboot is some Diet Coke and some marshmallows. Mine is a pint of rosé and a Ritalin.” – Joanne (23:39)

8. This Week’s “Florida Man” & Friendship (23:52–28:43)

• Florida Man damaged a levee to prevent his wife from coming home and stopping his party—causing massive floods and earning a life sentence (25:33).
• Reflections on male loneliness epidemic: Joanne argues for supporting male friendships, even if taken to extremes (26:44–27:34).
  • “I support what this lad did… friendship is at risk of extinction.” – Joanne (27:15)
• Joe on how many real friends he has (27:48).

9. Florida Woman, Squirrels, and Viral Wildlife (29:12–31:01)

• Bizarre news: A woman in Florida, dressed as a squirrel, threw acorns at police, yelling “I am the squirrel queen!” (29:51).
• Spirals into discussion of a deadly squirrel attack at a senior home (30:27).
  • “He was kissing them with his teeth.” – Joanne tries to defend the squirrel (30:44).

10. Miss Thailand’s Falling Dentures & Beauty Pageant Laughs (31:03–33:49)

• Viral clip: Miss Thailand contestant’s false teeth fell out on stage; she handled it with poise (31:03).
• Vogue and Joanne joke about beauty pageant Q&A blunders:
  • “Why are we asking young heart models about US geography and foreign policy?” – Joanne (33:08)
  • Remembering Miss Congeniality’s famous “April 25th” quote (33:27).

11. Benefit Claims, Anxiety and Zip-lining in Cancun (33:49–35:41)

• A woman claiming housebound anxiety benefits was caught on holiday, zip-lining in Cancun (33:49).
• Discussion on the “desire to stay home instead of work” and the oddities of the welfare system.

12. AI & Ads on ChatGPT (35:41–36:48)

• Joanne reports that AI tools are starting to run ads for users (35:41).
• Whimsical takes on interacting with ChatGPT—“Mine is very relaxed” (36:09).

13. K-Pop Mainstream, Cultural Appropriation & Performances (36:26–37:28)

• Joanne discusses the rise of K-pop in Western culture and confusion over non-Korean members (37:05).
• Speculates about sending “Jedward" to Brazil in place of themselves for a tour (37:28).

14. Joe the Voice Actor & Envying Animation Roles (37:35–38:31)

• Joe shares his new gig as the voice of “Miffy’s Dad” in Miffy and Friends for Sky Kids (37:56).
• Joanne bemoans never being asked to voice act: “I haven’t had a single call from a cartoon company!” (38:10)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On misinformation:
  • "We don't deal in facts. We deal in suggested memes." — Vogue (05:06)
• On urban legends:
  • "Could you do Richard Gere instead? I think Richard would really appreciate that rumor taken back." — Vogue (07:54)
• Joanne's new role anxiety:
  • "I started crying on one of the episodes, like sitting at my desk." — Joanne (13:14)
• Panel show struggles:
  • "When an audience isn’t on board with you—wow, you just die for two and half hours while smiling.” — Joanne (15:38)
• Manifesting luxury:
  • "I'm manifesting to own this villa. I don't know how manifesting works, but I've heard..." — Vogue (20:13)
• On Florida Man:
  • "He destroyed 14,000 acres of farmland... all so he could continue partying with his friends. He's serving a life sentence." — Vogue (25:37)
• On male loneliness:
  • "Male friendship is at risk of extinction. So I support what this lad did." — Joanne (27:15)
• Squirrel Queen, viral moment:
  • "Found in a tree wearing a squirrel costume, throwing acorns at police, and shouting, 'I am the squirrel queen!'" — Vogue (29:51)
• Pageant disaster:
  • "A contestant, her false teeth fell out while she was doing her presentation, and she just sashayed away and nailed it." — Vogue (31:13)

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Important Timestamps

• Correction Corner & Listener Feedback: 00:32–05:16
• Conspiracy Theories: 05:17–07:54
• Washing Line Analogy on Rumors: 07:55–09:08
• Joanne as Panel Show Captain: 10:22–16:35
• St Barts Villa & Jordyn Woods: 16:49–20:29
• Kris Jenner Meme: 21:33–23:00
• Florida Man story: 23:52–28:43
• Florida Woman Squirrel Queen: 29:12–31:01
• Miss Thailand’s Dentures: 31:03–33:49
• Benefits Fraud Anecdote: 33:49–35:41
• AI Ads & K-pop: 35:41–37:28
• Joe's Voiceover News: 37:35–38:31

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Final Thoughts

Delivering humor, catch-ups, and commentary on everything from headlines to personal mishaps, this episode sees Vogue and Joanne at their anarchic best—leaping from pop culture to wild news stories, with just enough real-world vulnerability to keep things honest and relatable. If you need a laugh, some offbeat headlines, and unfiltered friendship, this is your episode.

Transcript

[A]

This is a Global Player original podcast.

[B]

Hello, and welcome to my therapist go sydney with me, vogue williams and joanne mcnally. And joe, Can I say something quickly? Right.

[A]

Is it about my hair?

[B]

No.

[A]

Oh, well, we have.

[B]

We've taken our medication, listeners. We.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

We don't know what happened on the last pod, but when Joanne and I don't concentrate, we have real problems with. With finishing off topics. Course corrects me, but I don't ever course correct her because I. That's how I converse in my everyday life. But we are going to finish topics today.

[A]

Oh, I'm so glad you said it, because I forgot to say it, but I meant to say it.

[B]

Well, it was very difficult for us to stop talking, and obviously Joanne is quite good at stopping me going off course. I'm not good at stopping her going off course.

[A]

Yeah, you were on one.

[B]

I. Excuse me, Joan, you were definitely worse than me. I read some of the comments.

[A]

Oh. Oh. People commented on the state of the podcast.

[B]

Well, no. That there was no. Well, there was a. Like, we always have a bit of misinformation, but it turns out there was an awful lot of misinformation.

[A]

So it's full fake news.

[B]

Full fake news. But I'm gonna just do a correction corner for everybody. Okay, so one person commented. Ladies, your whirlwind of misinformation makes me Hell the bush. The Justin Bieber and Usher fighting picture was AI.

[A]

Oh, no. Oh, no.

[B]

We'll let TMZ figure that out for us. TMZ will tell us what was happening. So that was AI and Joanne, who was so sure of this. And there were no Hemsworths in the housemaid. Now, I watched the housemaid on your. On your recommendation. Very much enjoyed and yes, really liked Sydney Sweeney. And I didn't like her in the last thing I saw. And she's back. She's back in the room for me.

[A]

She's back in the room.

[B]

I think it's. No, it's not Glen Pell. Who. Who's in the house?

[A]

M. GL Someone with a teeny tiny mouth and no lips.

[C]

Brandon Sklenar.

[B]

Excuse the pronunciation. Brandon Glenar

[A]

or whatever.

[B]

Yeah, and he was also in. It ends with us and the housemaid Joanne very much enjoyed. I also watched the Conjuring, the new one on the plane. And I always wondered why you watch scary movies on the plane, John. I get it now. Because everyone's around you, so you're not scared and the ghost can't catch you.

[A]

Okay, I'll have to fact check.

[B]

You There.

[A]

Vogue. I don't watch scary movies on planes. I watch Air Crash Investigation.

[B]

Joanne, I've sat beside you on planes, and you're watching the most frightening things I've ever seen in my life. And then she falls asleep to them like it's a lullaby.

[A]

Yes, I like to listen to trauma, but when I. When I. When I have air crash investigation, I listen to air crash investigation in. On airplanes, on long hauls, because then I feel it's too ironic to have a plane crash.

[B]

I. I understand.

[A]

Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

[B]

More comments. Cormac said last week's app was a master class in the inability to finish one topic.

[A]

Do you know what, folks? Do you know what, folk before you. Before you continue with this annihilation.

[B]

The next one is my favorite, and I am not going anywhere until I say it to you. I did. I did. As a big fan, I did try and say this to you. Eva said, joanne, it's Wu Tang Clan, not Clang.

[A]

Obviously, I know that, Eva. I am a huge fan, but because I am a huge fan of theirs, they said I couldn't do what I want.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what, Vogue? I don't. Okay, look, obviously we struggle with finishing things. I. Joe, is that not your job? What is your job, Joe? Is it not your job to correct. To pause us and take little notes. Pencil. Yeah. And say, girls, you haven't or don't call us girls. It's quite condescending.

[C]

I don't.

[A]

Ladies.

[B]

Not ladies. That's a bit. I. I prefer girlies. Girly worries.

[A]

If Joe called us girly Worleys.

[B]

Call me a girly Wordy Joe, I want you to call me a girly Woody.

[C]

No. Because I'd be sick. No.

[A]

Sorry. I'm not doing role play. I'm right here.

[C]

That is my job. But not when I'm on holiday, which I was.

[A]

Oh, fair. Yeah. Okay.

[C]

Yeah,

[A]

I forgot you weren't on that record.

[C]

Fine.

[A]

Yeah, fine, fine, fine. Have your little.

[B]

I really. I actually really enjoyed watching you try and place blame on other people. Last one was from Louise, and she said computer conspiracy theorists think that Disney only made the Frozen movie Frozen, so that. That if people googled Disney Frozen, the film would come up and not articles about Walt Disney after being frozen. After death.

[A]

We don't deal in facts. We deal in suggested memes.

[B]

I. I think that we should ban AI because, honestly, I can't bear it anymore. I'm being taken for a ride left, right, and center, and I don't want to do it.

[A]

I haven't been, I haven't been taken for a ride in ages. Okay. Speaking of conspiracy theories, I keep getting sent to this conspiracy theory that Marilyn Manson, they were like. Because obviously because I did the conspiracy theory about Avril Lavigne being replaced and the Furbies being from the White House because everyone thought that they were earpiece for the Chinese. So people send me conspiracy theories. They're like, what are you going to sort this one out? And the one they're saying to me is the most famous Marilyn Mansa rumor from the 1990s is that remember he had. There was a rumor that he had his ribs removed to perform self a blowy. Yeah, well self fellatio is what we're calling it.

[B]

Oh, sorry.

[A]

The more high end version of sucking yourself off the widespread urban legend along with others such as killing animals on stage or being Paul Pfeiffer from the Wonder Years.

[B]

Who.

[A]

Oh my God, I totally forgot. Do you remember the Wonder Years?

[B]

No, I don't think I told you. I only watch Beauty and the Beast and Babar.

[A]

Joe, are you too young for the Wonder Years?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Oh Joe, you'd love it. You'd absolutely love it. Actually, I don't know if you would. I, I did, but I was 7 or something. Google it there.

[C]

8.3 out of 10 on IMDb yeah, it's, it's lovely.

[A]

It was, it's real kind. It's set, it's, it's. It's an American TV show. It's set in the 60s and it's just really kind of wholesome fun. I can't remember. Anyway, the main actor, Paul Pfeiffer, Marilyn Manson was accused of being Paul Pfeiffer. Anyway, why am I telling you this?

[B]

Conspiracy theories is why we were talking about conspiracy theories. I think that Marilyn Manson is in quite hot water, I think. Isn't he being done for stuff?

[A]

Oh for sake.

[B]

That wasn't. And I wasn't totally left field about Marlon Manson. I don't think some people are like, what the. Like Bill Gates, I still can't believe that he was on the plane. But there, there you go. But Marilyn Manson, I'm kind of like,

[A]

was Marilyn, Was Marilyn on the island, Joe?

[B]

No, Marlon wasn't on the island, but there's something. Go on Joe, tell us what they're checking.

[A]

Check the allegations. Jesus Christ. Joe, would you mind sending us through a list of men that don't have allegations against them and we can just work off that?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it'll be a lot easier.

[A]

Send me the 10. Send me the 10 safe names we can actually talk about on the podcast.

[C]

Numerous allegations of sexual, physical and psychological abuse from several women. Okay, well, investigation concluded in 2025 with no charges filed due to lack of evidence and expired statutes of limitations in it always.

[A]

Well, okay, well, I was going. I was going to announce a new podcast where I get to the bottom of the rumor about Marlon Manson removing his rib to soak himself off. And I will now backtrack.

[B]

Could you do Richard Gear instead, by any chance? That would be. I think Richard would really appreciate that. And to have that rumor taken back would be quite nice for him.

[A]

The hamster of the earth.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Do you know what, Richard? I will consider rebooting your career.

[B]

I mean, when I think of the rumors that go around about me, I just feel it's. It's like that, that saying. If you put your problems out in the line, you take your own back instead of someone else's. It's the same with rumors. I would. Okay, it might not be out in the line, Joe, but there's some.

[A]

I think I know.

[C]

I think I've never heard.

[A]

And it wasn't.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, go on.

[A]

If you take your own problems to the table. No, yeah. If you.

[B]

Same thing I just said. You put them on the washing line. Because I do a lot of washing.

[A]

If you take your own problems out of the washing basket and put them on the line, you'll take someone else's home.

[B]

No, you won't take someone else's home. The whole saying is, you won't take someone else's home. You'll want to take your own home again. Because other people's are so bad. It's the same with rumors.

[A]

If you see other. You see, if you take it. If you put your problems in the washing basket and you bring it to the line, you hang them up and you see other people's problems, you'll take your own problems back in the washing mask. Exactly.

[B]

Exactly. That's it.

[A]

It's snappy, isn't it, that the washing

[B]

mask will be full of the problems and you take her own back.

[A]

It's such a snappy little saying.

[C]

Yeah, one. One in hand is worth two in the bush, I think.

[B]

Yeah, I don't like. I don't like that one. I don't like that one. But that's what I'm saying about rumors. Like, I much prefer to have my own rumors, which kind of pissed me off in a way. But I'D rather not. People not think that I shoved a hamster up my ass. Like, there's no coming back from that. But there's Vogue, the girl who shoves a hamster up their ass.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know. I have an American tour to sell. Denver, Salt Lake City, Chicago, Boston. Did shove San Francisco. I would, I would actually put one up if I thought I'd sell more than three tickets in Salt Lake City.

[B]

Joanne, I haven't seen those pigeons because she's put them inside herself.

[A]

Anything to sell a ticket.

[B]

If you spend any time with your hand, you'll just hear,

[A]

I decapitate myself online if I thought I was going to shift anything in Las Vegas. Las Vegas. Please check the website. So the, those pigeons. Remember I came home, I was away for, for work, and so they'd obviously like taken to the windowsill. But you remember that they were, they were shagging on the windowsill. Joe, do you remember this?

[B]

Yeah, I do, yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And I was like, what is that

[B]

enjoyment out of hearing about the pigeons? It used to be a weekly occurrence.

[A]

And your man. And he would, he. That lad would clap himself after. Yeah, it was so funny. But once I was back in the house, they obviously didn't like the company inside, so they liked it. Sorry, is anyone going to ask. Is anyone to ask me about my hair?

[B]

No, Joanne, your hair is very long

[A]

and pulling it and twirling it and no one's saying a single thing about it.

[B]

It's gorgeous. It just. I feel like your hair grow. It's kind of. It's nearly the same length. You used to have your hair, but your hair used to be to your artist. So you're actually really used to having hair like that.

[A]

Me and Joe were on before you zoomed in Vogue as always. And Joe said, I zoomed in at

[B]

10:31, by the way. We started 10:30 and then I sat here and waited for Joanne to set up for 10 minutes. Well, I was usually. Why I pop in slightly late.

[A]

Well, I was on a 1055. Anyway, Joe, Joe was like, oh, my God, your hair. It's, it's, it's. He didn't really say. Actually, I was gonna say, he said, it's lovely. He didn't. He just went, your hair.

[C]

I said, look at your hair.

[A]

Yeah, he said, look at your hair. Yeah, I was gonna. I was going to insert a compliment there that he didn't actually give me.

[B]

He just went. He just went, look at your hair. He's stunning. Goddess. Is that what he said?

[C]

That's what I meant.

[A]

He said, look at your hair. And I went, oh, it's fake. And he goes, I know, Jon.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's like. I know. I was away for a week, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, boys are stupid. I don't know. But I was filming this new panel show called Unacceptable. I'm the team team captain, V. Fantastic. Are you proud of me?

[B]

Of course I'm proud of you. But that's where you belong. I've never coming.

[A]

It is your dad, right? I should have been doing this six years ago. I've never captained anything in my life, not even a sports day. I've. I've. I've done about two panel shows in my entire career to say I'm unqualified for the job. Anyway, it was very. It was very intense. It was very full on. We recorded six episodes and four. One, two, three. Four.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Six episodes in four days. Garou came over, he was writing with me on it. And I locked in. Like, I locked in, as the kids would say. Like, I locked in, in. We were up really early. We were working really late. I had him on the Ritland, blah, blah, blah. And then we finished. We had the last two episodes yesterday. And then I locked out.

[B]

Well, that's. It's important to do that.

[A]

I unplugged from the Matrix and locked out. That's why I'm wearing the sunglasses. If anyone's wondering why, I'm blind again. Anyway, Liv Davey, who was doing my hair makeup, she was like, do you want to put the stenos in that? Hadley got you. And I was like, I do now. They look a bit now because they're

[B]

kind of still look good.

[A]

Do you think?

[B]

Yeah, I got them. Look, I got them stuck into my head and I went quite long. But mine are in forever. You need to get them in, in forever. Hello, everybody, and welcome. Oh, I took her mic off. Jesus Christ.

[A]

Are we singing? What was that? I didn't like it. Very unqualified for the job. And I felt a little bit out of my depth when we started recording the episodes. And one of the episodes I started crying on, like sitting at my desk.

[B]

You're really hard on yourself, though. You're really hard on yourself all the time. You always do that. You're always too hard on yourself. You just need to have a bit of self confidence and have a bit of fun with it. And I think that you would have been brilliant.

[A]

I don't have. I don't have that as in because I've never done it. I Was like, this is a completely different muscle. I don't know what I'm doing now, in fairness, some of the episodes I was like, oh, I feel like I'm kind of hitting my. Hitting my flow. But there was one episode I actually walked off. I. When we wrapped the episode, I went up to the director, producer person. I'm not sure what the title is. I went to Toby and I said, here, can we bend that one? Can we count it? And he's like, no, no, that's not how it works. Wrong. We've. We're filming. We filmed an entire episode for three hours and it will be used. I was like, well, I don't know what you're gonna do with me. You're gonna have to put some words in my mouth in post because I've.

[B]

I literally talking all the time as the team captain. That's the team captain's job. You want other people to talk as well, so you'.

[A]

Vo. But you shouldn't be crying.

[B]

There's nothing.

[A]

Have you ever seen anyone. Have you ever seen Jimmy Carr crying?

[B]

I've seen him crying loads of times. Loads of times. He's always crying. Okay.

[A]

He's no emotions. He's dead. I'm sorry. Jimmy can't cry. I wouldn't say he's Any eye ducts.

[B]

I don't imagine. I can't imagine what would make him cry, though. You know when. You know when someone. Like, when was the last time I cried? Okay, I cried a couple of weeks ago. I had to think about it. There I was like, that was fair enough. I. And whenever I cry, I like to take myself. I was telling this to Amber. I like to take myself to a mirror and have a little look and how sad I am. And then I'm ready. Yeah. Then I'm ready to suck it back in and be like, okay, now I've seen. I've seen it. It's. It's bad. But now we're ready to go back. But Jimmy Carr, we're like, what the hell would make him cry?

[A]

I don't know. I assume, like, some sort of tax issue. I. I don't know. I don't know.

[B]

Will never shake the tax tag, will

[A]

he, Jimmy, for a listen, I'd love to have you on my new panel show, Unacceptable.

[B]

Send us your accountant's details as well.

[A]

We can cry together. It's hard, actually.

[B]

You actually. Well, it is hard to sit there for three hours doing tv. But. Yeah. Yeah, I find TV is a lot of hurry up and. And wait.

[A]

Also. I will Say. So the.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

So it's obviously filmed in front of a live audience. Right. And the live audience are. They're not. They're not my audience. And I'm on tour at the moment, so I'm kind of used to, like having people in the room who know me, maybe even like me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, and that. And there's goodwill there. So, like, they're on board and they kind of know what you're about and everything. The. This room. They know Richard, they know Ed. They did not have a clue who I was naturally. Of course. And so there's. They're not. Some of the audiences were. Were completely on board. But when an audience isn't on board with you. Wow. I was just. Oh, my God. You just sit there and like, basically die for two and a half hours while smiling. Because they're. The team are saying, look, we'll just candle after him in the edit, so just look like you're having a good time. And I was like, well, I'm crying now, so

[B]

can we cut out the crying, please?

[A]

Yeah, can you. Can you AI the eyes dry, please? Because I'm. I'm full blown crying. Yeah, it was full dramas, but they were so nice. It's Ramesh Ranganathan's production company. Actually. It's Rangabi. He was on as a guest.

[B]

I. I think he is. I love him. I actually.

[A]

He's brilliant. Hopefully the crying works for a bit of publicity. So please do tune into Unacceptable on tlc. Dates to be tbc.

[B]

Tbc.

[A]

Tbc. Days to be TBC on tlc.

[B]

I am. I'm in some parts, just in case

[A]

you didn't know, with the posh pearled crabs.

[B]

The crabs are probably very expensive here. Honestly.

[A]

Tell us about Saint Bar.

[B]

St Bart is. Oh, well, come here to me. So loads of the girl loads the gerdy wordies forward beyond the women. The ground women forwarded beyond someone's insta story. So basically I was on the beach. I was telling this to Amber as well, but I was on the beach and got chatting to this woman and they were staying in this villa. It's. It's the. It's the nicest one in. In the Eden Rock in my. It's massive. It's like this huge party villa. It's. It's actually going to be on the vlog this week. It is the most insane. I did it. I did a tour.

[A]

How's the vlog going?

[B]

The vlog is going really well. Everyone's so nice in the comments on YouTube. Oh, my God. It's so different.

[A]

It is kind of. It is kind of nice. Feel good, content. I will say, sorry, Joe, I'm just stroking my hair. That's what we do.

[C]

Carry on, mate.

[B]

But I. But I went in. So basically there was a gap because it's always, it's always sold out. Someone's always in it and. And I went in during, like, when they kind of doing the room changeover because I wanted to record it for my vlog because it is the most insane villa. It's on the beach in Eden Rock and it's got this massive pool and then you've got all the beach front in front of it and they're all your chairs and like, it's got six bedrooms. It's a huge party villa.

[A]

So. But who'd be going, like, I mean, that to me sounds like kind of Macron would be going. Like, who can afford. Like, who's going there?

[B]

Well, I'll tell you who can.

[A]

Me and Joe. If me and Joe wants to Airbnb at night. What, what, what would be, what would be looking at, cost wise?

[B]

Well, you wouldn't be able to book it. It's probably booked out for the next two or three years.

[A]

Are you serious?

[B]

Yeah. And the cost is wild. I'm like, spenny, so you get it for your 40th, Sonny. Ask your parents. But everyone's always like, why aren't you staying in the hotel? I'm like, well, if the hotel's a business and, and everything is sold out. So, like, if they want to, if, if we want to go in the hotel, then they have to get clients out and they're not willing to do that because it's a business. Like, that's just how it works. We're staying in Spanish Godfather's Villa, which is the most incredible place in the world. So listen, we're delighted. But anyway, so I'm outside, I'm outside Villa Rockstar and we, we were on the deck chairs outside it, which actually belonged to Villa Rockstar, but we thought that they were changing over. Turns out they weren't. So the girls who were in Villa Rockstar, there was three. Three women, two younger girls, and they both. They all looks amazing. Anyway, they came out and they sat down. We were really apologetic and they were really saying. They were like, doesn't matter, don't worry about it. Even though our kids were eating all over their seats. And so we sat down and I was chatting away to the. Talking about how she manages her daughters who were there. And we're talking to them. And she was really, really nice, really interesting. They were talking about where they were going next, and yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, whatever. And then Alexander goes to me. Is that. Is that Jordan Woods? And I was like, I would. I wouldn't miss that. I'd just been talking to her for, like, 15 minutes, and then I looked back, and I was like, holy. It's Jordan Woods. Kylie Jenner. Best friends. Remember?

[A]

You're one who hooked up with your man. Yeah. Who's she marrying?

[B]

An NBA player.

[A]

For sake. Like, what am I doing with my life?

[B]

I know. And I've married this trash. I can't even get a room in that hotel.

[A]

He.

[B]

His parents own it, supposedly. And look at this. I. Yeah. So she's wearing it.

[A]

She's saying it.

[B]

No, I was. I was. I was calling Spenny a trash bag. I'm manifesting owning this villa. I keep walking around and I told Alex, Betty's godfather. I was like, I'm manifesting to own this villa. I don't know how manifesting works, but I've heard.

[A]

Say it three times backwards in the mirror, and it happens. Why didn't I. Why didn't I marry Tiger Woods? Like, Joe.

[B]

What? Like he's in a spot of bother again now? Joanne. Tiger Woods. I think he's got another dui, doesn't he? Is that AI a real. Is another dui? Jesus Christ, Tiger. Get a driver. You're literally the most minted person in. Get a driver.

[A]

I can't get a husband because no one wants to marry me. Because I'm problematically independent, because I took the feminist soup and I blamed Jermaine Greer.

[B]

You haven't taken that much of the feminist soup. Come on. You're just. You're.

[A]

Is this because I lasered my bikini line? Is this.

[B]

Well, the hair. The hair speaks for itself.

[A]

I collapsed under the societal pressure of men fetishizing women's bodies. Sorry, Vogue. I'm a product of my generation and my culture.

[B]

Joanna McNally. You won't even go on a date that you organize three months in advance and then you cancel the day before. So it's not that you're a feminist. It's that you couldn't be honest.

[A]

How dare you? I am. I'm in the trenches. Vogue.

[B]

I say it as I see it as I see it.

[A]

All right, Nostradamus.

[B]

Speaking of Jordan woods, who is also. Obviously, she's still friends with Kylie Jenner. Kylie Jenner wasn't here. I did try and find out, and she. Because I would have passed away and died, obviously. But have you seen the stuff about Kris Jenner online?

[A]

No, I. I've literally been down a bunker. Tell me. I have no idea what's happening in the world.

[B]

She has literally turned into this massive meme in China. So people.

[A]

Brilliant. Great.

[B]

Yeah. They are sharing images of Kris Jenner to manifest luck and success. Success. Like, there's pictures of Kris Jenner and it's like, share this picture of Kris Jenner for five years of good luck. So they just. They're seeing her as a symbol. Of course. If you. If you're going for a job, post this picture of Chris Jenner and you'll get the job that you're going for.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you remember you used to get those when you were younger. If you don't send this. If you don't send this message to 12 of your friends, you'll die lonely, horrible death. And you had to send this message to 12 of your friends. Do not remember them.

[A]

No, yeah, of course I do. The chain letters.

[B]

Yeah. So there's a Kris Jenner one, but Kris Jenner is like this goddess over in China now. And I think it's because she's so successful herself that people think that she, like.

[A]

Of course. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Wealth and success. So everyone. Yeah. Is just posting about her being like, if you want to be really successful, you've got to post Kris Jenner.

[A]

Send her to me. I'll reshare it.

[B]

Yeah. Post this five times and you'll get. And you'll get whatever you want.

[A]

I was thinking the other day, because, you know the way I love to get scammed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was like, it's kind of mad that I haven't had a Nigerian prince in my emails of. Of yet. And I was gonna say, I would respond so quickly if I did that. They think that I was a scam. Do you know what I mean? Like, I would give money to them so quickly that they'd be like, oh, she's the police, obviously. And they would back away.

[B]

Hang on a second. I'm just gonna go get a Coke and some marshmallows.

[A]

I just love that Vogue's energy reboot is some Diet Coke and some marshmallows. And mine is a pint of rose and a Ritalin.

[B]

I want to tell you about my man of the week.

[A]

Thank God.

[B]

In a bad way. Okay. Obviously it's a Florida man, but I just thought, why did you.

[A]

Sorry, why is that obvious?

[B]

It's always a Florida man. Have you never read the Headlines as meridians.

[A]

Of course, of course, of course.

[B]

It's a Florida man. A Florida just mad seems to happen in Florida Mad. So this man is the fan.

[A]

It's the fentanyl. Okay.

[B]

No, I think they do a different one down. And what's the one they do in Florida, Joe? There is one that they do down in Florida that's not fentanyl. I've seen them on it when I went to Miami Hook hour or something. No, it does not look fun.

[A]

Well, I will be in Portland, Oregon around November. October time tickets. And I remember the first time I landed in Portland, Oregon. It was the first place I went on the, on the Prosecco American tour. And I was. It was a shot. It was a bit of a shock to the system. It's. It's like a town of. It's like a tale of two cities. Yeah, there are gorgeous, really hipster cool parts, like coffee shops, like lovely, like deadly parts. And then you turn a corner and there's like a large kind of like bent out kind of. I don't know, like, like kind of half standing. Standing in a shopping trolley. It's. And it. That is fentanyl.

[B]

That's fentanyl. But there's, there's one. What, what is the one it's called? It's like a four letter word. Anyway, they like to do it in there, so maybe that has some shoes. But this man, he was having a party, so having a really good time in his house with his pals and he didn't want his wife to come home because she would stop the party potentially. Did you see this?

[A]

Oh my God. Sorry. I know this guy. Did he unplug a damn.

[B]

He literally damaged a levy.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And he created not just a little baby flood to stop his wife coming home, a massive flood. He destroyed 14,000 acres of farmland, destroyed buildings, shut down a full bridge just so he could continue partying with his friends. He's serving a life sentence.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. For, for putting. For breaking a dam.

[B]

He destroyed 14, 000 acres of farmland. He wrecked buildings. He shot down an entire bridge. This is in America where you get 25 years for stealing a car. I mean, come on, everyone steals cars. I didn't start a car the other day by accident because it's the same cars here. Everyone, everyone drives these little moke mini mokes. And it was just a red one. And I got in and I started it and I was like, something feels weird. Was my car. Wasn't your car driven? I just driven out of the parking space and I just reversed and put it back.

[A]

I do feel, I, I do feel like joyriding a Honda Civic is a rite of passage for any woman.

[B]

But a life sentence. Imagine you just do something that dumb when you're. He's obviously high on that yucca or whatever the drug is that's allegedly. And just really pissed. Doesn't want his wife to come home. So he's a whole family at home. And that Ages is now in prison for life.

[A]

Well, I, I have to say because I'm reading extensively about the male loneliness epidemic at the moment and I think male friendship is, is at risk of extinction. So I support what this lad did.

[B]

Well, maybe you should.

[A]

You know, I think he, he's, he deserves to have some time with the buzz. And his wife is going to interfere with that. This man's obviously lonely. Any, any suggestion that a man enjoys socializing, I think we should lean in and support. What do you think, Jo?

[B]

I, well,

[C]

friendship, something needs to be done.

[A]

Yeah, I do believe that, I think. But I, well, okay, look, he, he

[B]

could have just turned his phone off and gone to the pub down the road.

[A]

Yeah, he went a bit longer. Look at escalators. It escalated. He got over. We've all done it. But I, I. Joe, how many friends would you say you have?

[C]

Oh, 10.

[A]

Are me and Vogue in that?

[C]

No, I was thinking about my male friends. Not, not my most cherished and closest and.

[B]

What, John, you know, we're not a loss. You know, we. In us.

[A]

You're two. You're two work wives, Joe. Huh?

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Would you say you've turn close male friends?

[C]

That's, that's a very off the, off the dome. Guess without, without counting, maybe it's less.

[B]

I think I, I understand that about male friendships as well, but I saw these three girls going like three or four of them running together in bal. And they were, they were kind of, well, they, I assumed they were running. They were sweaty and they were going to. Cough yourself together. And I just thought like, like it's hard. I think as you get older, it's harder to have like friends like that, that you, you have the time to go out with. Because, like, I feel like we're working and if you've got kids, you've got to be.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

A lot of the time, like there just doesn't feel like as much time as there used to be. I find it easier when I'm at home in Ireland to see a lot more people because I think they're just in More closer proximity. And I think if it's people like us who work in this industry as well, we're always all over the place and just work weird hours and just aren't in the same spot. It's harder to hang out with.

[A]

London is bananas. Like, if you want to see someone in East London, it's like going interrailing. It's like an hour and a half to get there.

[B]

Like, I wouldn't go there.

[A]

You just. You just don't do it.

[B]

Well, I was. I was gonna go about this Florida woman, only because I was like, I was looking up, I was googling about the Florida man, and then this woman came up. So she was behind in a tree. And then I went down this. Okay, I went down this rabbit hole. This is where it's coming from. This isn't just. I know that you love squirrels because remember that squirrel America that, like, that got euthanized and you were very upset about him.

[A]

Who?

[B]

Oh, okay.

[C]

His name was Peanut.

[B]

You loved Penis.

[A]

I've moved on.

[B]

I thought you would have at least remembered the squirrel that got euthanized. Like, you were really upset about it at the time.

[A]

I've moved on. I'm trying to figure out why Punch broke up with his girlfriend.

[B]

Well, you're gonna love this woman. She was found in a tree wearing a squirrel costumes, throwing acorns at police and shouting, I am the squirrel queen. And now she's gone viral. She has sticks and stuff in her hair. So she really, like, what, went for it? Yeah. It was in Florida again. I'm telling you, it's not shit. They're all taken. It's all over the Internet. I saw it. And then when I was looking into her, because I looked into your man. There was a massive squirrel attack in Florida in a. In. In a senior citizen's home. And they had to call the ambulance. The squirrel got into their recreation room and attacked them. And loads of them were bleeding from the face.

[A]

Sorry. Attacked or tried to connect.

[B]

Attacked. Well, all bleeding.

[A]

No, no, no. Sorry. But I'm gonna stop you there. If a squirrel intentionally walks into a recreational room, it's there to have a good time.

[B]

Okay, well, he was biting them. He was biting them.

[A]

He was kissing them with his teeth.

[B]

Oh, she's back on squirrels. Now she's into squirrels again.

[A]

I totally forgot. I was devastated about that squirrel and I've. And now I've remembered, and I. I'm gonna need a minute.

[B]

Did you see your one from the Miss Thailand contestant?

[A]

Remind me of this, please.

[B]

So during the Miss Thailand pageant. A contestant. Camo Luan Chidango. Her false teeth fell out of her mouth. Did you see it?

[A]

I did.

[B]

I thought she was going to crunch down on them. So she was doing this whole speech, her little presentation at. Her false teeth fell out while she was doing the presentation and all she did was sachet away and just absolutely nailed it. And kind of just completely ignored the fact that like these massive false teeth had fallen out of her mouth. And everyone is praising her, being like she should absolutely win now that she just continued and just like, acted like it was just normal. Oh, my God.

[A]

I'm not. I'm not being bad. I'm not being bad. And you know, there's a special place in hell for women who don't support other women, etc. However, if I was entering Miss Thailand, which probably wouldn't be legally allowed or would be highly inappropriate.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was like ready to kind of smile, do my bits and bobs and try and win a prize. I don't think I'd wear dentures.

[B]

She supposedly just wanted to make her teeth a little bit whiter. But when you see the teeth underneath, they look like pretty good teeth.

[A]

Sorry. Come on. A crash strip. There's other ways a crash strip would whiten the teeth. You're putting in dentures. Like, I, like. I. I don't know about that. I. I think that's a bit odd. I don't know. I understand. Look, she's trying to get a deal. I got it. She's trying to make a saving.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But I do think it's a bit odd. And also I would find it very humiliating if my teeth popped out in the middle of a job.

[B]

Do you ever see that Miss America girl? There was one. And like, it kind of still goes around doing the memes and like the contestant, like, she was asked, why can't one fifth of Americans locate the US on a map? And she's like, I personally believe that US stop.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps such as South Africa and the Iraq.

[A]

I feel so bad, like. So why. Sorry, why are we asking.

[B]

Don't ask.

[A]

Young heart models.

[B]

And this is.

[A]

No, I'm not making. As I suppose maybe I am actually making a wide aspersion by models. Like, these girls are up there, their tits and teeth, they're having a good time. They're out to enjoy themselves and show us a bit of, like a bit of glam. And then you're like, oh, by the way, what would be your solution for the Middle East? It's ridiculous. Do you remember Miss Congeniality Cheryl Frazier, who was Miss Rhode Island? They asked her, describe your perfect date and she went, April 25th because it's not too hot and it's not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.

[B]

There was a woman, right? She basically was on benefits because she said that her anxiety left her house bound. She received 23 grand in benefits. In payments and investigators found that she'd been traveling, she'd gone surfing, she'd been in Cancun visiting theme parks in the uk. She went zip lining. And when she got confronted, she said, I didn't realize you're not allowed to leave your house.

[A]

I, I would imagine ziplining is quite good for anxiety, to be fair.

[B]

Yeah, not in Cancun. When you say you can't go to work and you're just claiming benefits being like, I can't go to work because I can't leave the house, but I can go to Cancun and go ziplining. It's different. It's different.

[A]

I mean, we none of us want to leave the house. Do you know what I mean? Like, why should she get to stay in?

[B]

I was once filming it, why can't I stay in?

[A]

Why can't I sit at home and claim benefits? Is that too much of a controversial question?

[C]

Probably.

[B]

Do you know what, Joanne? You could if you wanted to. You could, you could. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'm tired. I'm surprised. Hang up this back for Australia. I'm tired.

[B]

Delicious flight to Australia. Well, you can't go to Australia. You won't be able to afford the flight.

[A]

Australia, Melbourne, Sydney, Perth. Tickets on sale now.

[B]

Once when I like I got duped once when I was doing a TV show. I was recording a TV show and it was with this person who said that they couldn't leave the house for reasons to do with mental health and stuff like that. Anyway, we'd recorded for the day in the house. Couldn't even go to the, the garage around the corner because wasn't able to leave the house at all. Anyway, we forgot something and we're making our way back to the home and the person was driving out of the home. Yeah, yeah. So had left the home even though we spent the whole day filming in the home because they couldn't film outside us.

[A]

Do you know they're starting to run ads on AI?

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

So ChatGPT or whatever it is. Whatever what? What is it, Joe?

[B]

Oh, for people using it there's ads on them, so.

[A]

And you know the way, like, ChatGPT is really encouraging. Like, they'll never tell you. You'll be like, I killed a man. And they're like, oh, that sounds stressful. Hope you're okay.

[B]

No, I've asked Chat GBT some health questions and stuff and like, if I do this, is it okay? And they're like, no. And they tell me that. And I'm like, oh, well, I'll rephrase that. Okay. Chat gbt.

[A]

Mine is very relaxed.

[B]

Really?

[A]

But I was like, it's going to be like, oh. You're like, oh, I. I ran over Joe. And they were like, ooh, nasty. Let's pair back and see how we can fix it.

[B]

Meanwhile, a bit annoying. So him.

[A]

Why not buy tickets to K pop 12-12-12? I haven't seen Apollo. Yeah, no, they're coming in. The odds are coming in. A friend of mine went, she said she brought up her daughter and they went to the K Pop gig in the sse because all the K Pop have kind of broken through now. They're not just like Korean culture, blah, blah, they're like mainstream almost, kind of. And so there's this K Pop band. Look, I'm not going to pretend to understand the. The industry or the culture.

[B]

I don't. Don't sing the song. Oh, no, it's in my head now.

[A]

Sing the song.

[B]

Sorry, everyone.

[A]

Stop wiggling your arms like that,

[B]

John. That's my thing when I sing. That's what I do.

[A]

That made me seasick with the wiggle in there, but. So she went to see them in the SSE and she said, like, half them weren't even Korean. She said it was absolutely mental.

[B]

What do you send? Check that. Because I saw them. They performed at the BAFTAs. They actually performed at the Oscars too. And they were. They. I have to give it to them. They were absolutely amazing.

[A]

It'd be like me and you going to Brazil, though, but kind of deciding we have other places to be and sending Jedward.

[B]

Well, we could. That's a potential. But I will go to Brazil, happily. So, Jedward, do not pack your bags.

[A]

No, no, we'd go to Brazil. We'd go to Brazil.

[C]

Before you go, before you say goodbye. You know how you two always plug stuff? Can I plug a thing?

[A]

No.

[C]

Please?

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah, but please.

[A]

Of course. Of course you can't go on.

[C]

Another thing that I do is voiceover in animation and a thing that I've done is now out. Do you know Miffy, that Dutch rabbit?

[B]

Yeah. Miffy.

[C]

I am Miffy's dad in Miffy and Friends. Which you can watch on Sky Kids if you are in the uk.

[B]

That's so cool.

[A]

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

[B]

This will trigger her. This will trigger her.

[A]

Where was this Disney pipeline? She was a fridge. You're Miffy the Whatever. I haven't had a single call from a cartoon company.

[C]

Well, look, we.

[B]

Maybe.

[C]

Maybe this is. You could look, size yourself. Put yourself out there.

[B]

Yeah, you're next. Let's get you. Did you met Pixar last week? Not us. Yeah, you're in.

[A]

Yeah, but I didn't know I met them. I haven't heard anything back. There's been no follow ups. There's no. I hope this email finds you. There's no email.

[B]

Everyone. Thank you so much for listening.

[A]

Salt Lake City. Four tickets. Is the film going to be big in the Mormon community? Joke.

[C]

It's a TV series and I don't know how they feel about anthropomorphic rabbits.

[A]

That was a lot of words.

[B]

Okay, bye everybody.

[A]

This has been a global player original production.