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Grainger Announcer
Grainger knows. When you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail, filters ready to clog H VAC on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering and 24. 7 support. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click grainger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.
Joanne
This is a global production.
Amber
Although I do think that, like, she's been with people that haven't been that kind to her. I don't think that she's been that kind to them either.
Joanne
I think she was so devastated by the breakup of Peter Andre that she was kind of lashing out from there on in.
Amber
I was like, oh. I was vital. And you know when you're like, oh, viral, uh oh.
Joanne
Oh my God, you know how lucky you are? Like, do you know what it's been like for me?
Amber
I haven't told you about Wimbledon.
Joanne
Tell me.
Amber
Well, I went to Wimbledon. Hang on.
Grainger Announcer 2
Okay.
Joe
It's okay, we understand your.
Amber
Because I just, I just couldn't believe what happened to me at Wimbledon.
Joanne
Why?
Amber
It was absolutely boiling. Boiling, Boiling. Yeah, it was really hot. And I had chosen that gorgeous Serena boot two piece. It's this blue set, it's like a tracksuit, but I had a jacket and everything. And I was like, I don't care, I really want to wear it. I'll be fine, I'll be fine. It'll be fine. Anyway, we went and we watched. We were watching the women's semis and I had literally got down. There was probably, there was one game left in the whole thing and I was like, all of a sudden, like the heat overtook me and I was like, we have to go, we have to go. Because you know the way they let you out at certain times. Yeah. It's the last game. I was like, no, no. I was like, I have to go. I was like, I'm going to faint. It was so. I'm going to faint. So I stood up and I went out and I went into the toilet cuz I was like, right, I'll put water on my hands and my wrists and stuff. Looked like I pissed my pants. I had sweat. Oh yeah, yes, under the stomach crease sweat. All on the back of my legs, sweat. I had to stand at that. I was like, I can't leave now. I have to like I' stand under the hand dryer and open my trousers. Yeah, dry it. And I was like, oh my God, I can't believe this is. And I stood up in front of God knows how many people and like it was unmissable. It looked like I had pissed my pants, but it was sweat.
Joanne
I feel you, sister. I firstly, it's shocking that you need to be 12 months pregnant to start sweating. Welcome to the gang. I did a radio interview recently. I was in with Ramesh Ranganathan on one of the BBC. I thought it was BBC1. Turns out it was BBC2. Anyway, that's besides the point. And I sat down. I was doing promo for Unacceptable.
Amber
She wouldn't have done it. She wouldn't have done it if it was BBC.
Joanne
No, I thought it was BBC1, it was BBC2.
Amber
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Joanne
They're all the bloody same. And. And I sat down to the interview and when I stood up my like that my thighs like it was like pulling Velcro apart and I was too very visible again. It looked like I'd also urinated myself just at the desk and I just had to pass it off. Someone wrote underneath the posted a photo that. What is that wine on your skirt? You can see it so clearly. Yeah, I know. Yeah.
Amber
I was, I was okay after 15, but I am under my stomach sweat as well. So it's right at the crotch. Yeah, so it's like crotch and the whole back legs of the trousers. I'm like, obviously if you did wet yourself and you're a woman, like it would be the back of your trousers. 15 minutes. 15 minutes it took me to dry
Joanne
off and I can. I know. Serena Boujee. It's a lovely kind of silky.
Joe
Yeah.
Joanne
Material. So it's really going to take that urine right in.
Amber
Yeah, well it wasn't your. It was not your own.
Joanne
Sure, sure, sure, sure.
Amber
Honestly, I will never ever look at a sweaty person and say because I know what it's like now.
Joanne
Oh my God, you know how lucky you are. Like, do you know what it's been like for me?
Amber
I do, I do now.
Joanne
Yes.
Amber
That time and Ibiza. I'm sorry you that.
Joanne
Thank you.
Amber
I know. I can only imagine the pain and torture.
Joanne
We did an anxious preoccupied shoes in my house yesterday and like obviously we. We're also trying to get Christmas content and stuff. So like, like I'm in like big two laid coats and stuff and I was like, honestly like they, the God loved them. They had like fans on me from all sides.
Joe
It is.
Joanne
I. I don't know how to explain it. Like, I don't know how I'm gonna cope. I'm not ready. I. For the world as it stands at the moment. I'm just not ready. And they're like, don't get aircon, it's bad for the environment. Like, I can't live like this. I'm just wet all the time.
Amber
Don't get aircon is bad for the environment. Come on the news. Okay, well, I mean, sorry, it's like I. I actually watched that on BBC and I just thought you are running low on stories here. BBC, that's like telling people, don't get heating, it's bad for the environment. If you need it, you need it. Like, yeah, I kind of like.
Joanne
Yeah, I know. I think at this stage, it's like we've got to survive whatever's happening here, you know, I think we got to survive. I mean, I don't see. I'm a bit hopeless with the whole thing as it stands.
Amber
I only live in one room in my house now because there's only one room that has aircon.
Joanne
And I'm like, fridge.
Amber
That's right. No, upstairs in my bedroom. Come and sleep over. You're welcome. I'll take everybody in. It's. It's glorious up there. It's the only place to survive.
Joanne
I just don't like, I'm like, I'm on chat gbt, trying to figure out what the, what the future of the climate change situation is. It's like, I'm just. We're all just adding. There's no. Stop stopping it now.
Amber
Sorry. If we're gonna have a fight about aircon, can we talk to Dubai first, please? They have, they have a ski slope in the middle, middle of the desert. Like, don't start coming at me because I can't handle the 33 degree heat in London. Get them first.
Joanne
Listen, I hear you. I know it's. It's outrageous. Europe now, we just, we're gonna have to. Things are changing over here. We're. We're bubbling, you know, and that's why the, that's why everyone's having such a time. It's like we're just. It's not like there's not other countries that have heat like this. It's just we're not equipped.
Amber
No. And London is a city. It's like there's massive buildings. There's nowhere for the heat. The heat stays in.
Joanne
It's a micro climate, whatever that means. I don't know. I've just heard that Term bandied around. So I. I'm just saying it to everyone. Well, it's hers here, obviously, because it's
Amber
a microclimate and I hate whinging about it because then in the evening in London, I'm like, is this not just the best place ever? Like, walking in the gorgeous parks in London and it's like that lovely, nice temperature. If we could just have that during the day too, that would be great. Thanks.
Joanne
Speaking of El Nino, which is the official name of the heat wave, El
Amber
Nino, it's a nina, not mean child.
Joanne
It's a. It's a weather phenomenon and on and on. Yeah, happens every couple of years. El Nino does mean child. It's like hot baby or something. It's called, you know, Mina.
Amber
Did I tell you. Did I tell you I was fluent in Spanish? I told you I was, yeah. Oh, go on.
Joanne
Oh, congratulations.
Amber
You're doing your. No, no, no.
Joanne
I have been very vocal about the pleasure that I have been getting out of the drying weather right now. I have a woman who comes to the house to clean the house once a week called Barbara. And Barbara, up to this point, has seemed mentally well to me. I've had no flags. She seemed completely sane. I come into the house the other evening and I'm like, what is that noise? There's something banging around. And I was like, has the maze got a drum kit? What's happening? Is there someone living in the walls? I come down the stairs, one, two, skip a few. Barbara is drying sheets in. No, the tumble dryer. While El Nino is baking the back of the garden. She has the tumble dryer on for sheets. I was like, this woman is insane. She needs to get sectioned the tumble dryer in this. Do you know that I took a sheet out of the washing machine the other day and left it inside and dried in the house.
Amber
It's so hot. It takes. It will take. Honestly, I only said smelling. I was like, I have to wash all the sheets on Friday. It'll take down where we can do all the beds. We'll only take 15 minutes.
Joanne
And also, do you know what? I've realized that the obsession with the drying, whether it's a very Irish thing, like, it's like. It's like an Irish pastime. It's up there with slagging off Conor McGregor and pretending you read Ulysses and, you know, the, you know, the comedian, Kyla Cobbler, fantastic Irish comedian. She was on to me the other day. She was like, so. So she did a video about drying weather and someone I'm assuming a non Irish person was like, oh, you've stolen this material of Shaw McNally. And I was like, oh, no. I was like, oh, dear, dear non Irish person. I certainly did not invent drying weather.
Amber
This great. This great dryness.
Joanne
It's a national pastime. We're obsessed with it. Anyway, when I saw Barbara with the tumble dryer on, I was like, my God.
Amber
And the heat in the house. Jesus.
Joanne
I was like, I can't trust the Brazilians. I said, no wonder Christ the Redeemer has his arms out like this. He's in shock at all these Brazilians using tumble dryers and 90 degree heat.
Amber
John, you've got some. You've got some army behind you. Honestly. Because I had. I dare step into a jumpsuit. People are like, oh, that's Joanne's thing. And I'm like, oh, my God, can we remember that? Joanne took my jumpsuit on tour.
Joanne
It was. It was.
Amber
If I dare go out in a jumpsuit, that. Oh, yeah, just copying Joanne, are you? I'm like, yeah, I am. Yeah.
Joanne
Well, I did, in fairness, I did wear once for a solid 2. 2.5 years, pretty much. It was. It was quite the uniform at the time.
Amber
I did copy you yesterday on. I saw you're doing your anxious, preoccupied shoot. Karina found me that jacket you're wearing and I bought it in two colors. It was so nice. So. Well, watch out, that Adidas one.
Joanne
I was like, oh, it's a dress.
Amber
Oh, God, that would be a jacket on me. And I bought two colors, half price, 50 off.
Joanne
So bargain stunning. And I had this Wimbledon kind of. Not Wimbledon, this white, gorgeous.
Amber
That's the one I bought.
Joanne
Yeah. But I was just saying to the listeners who haven't seen it, I'm sorry, I forget that. Yeah. Catching up.
Amber
It was so gorgeous. I just couldn't believe that no one saw us. Like I saw it. And I was like, oh, my God, send me the link. Joanne and Mac influencer.
Joanne
Yeah. I didn't have a link because it was the stylist, Catherine Moore. Yeah. Brought it over. But it was. It would have been perfect for Wimbledon. Adidas need to start telling us what they're up to.
Amber
I know, because you don't really.
Joe
Yeah.
Amber
You don't go on to Adidas looking for. For items like that. You just. They just come across. But then again, look at Naomi Osaka, who goes, well, she didn't. She didn't do very well anyway. She did well in the fashion stakes in Wimbledon and she comes out in some amazing, like Nike and Adidas gear, but tennis gear is the way forward. I have so many cool tennis outfits, I just need to start playing tennis.
Joanne
I think there's a lot of tennis players pissed off because they're like, this is supposed to be about the sport and not about the fashion, which I can kind of do. You know what, though? I can kind of understand it in a way, because if you're. If. If the person you're playing, if you're not into fashion, you're very serious tennis player, and the person you're playing is kind of coming out and really, you know, going high fashion. Met gala tennis gear. And they're getting so much press over it. I can see why the serious tennis player with no fashion sense would be annoying.
Amber
Get a stylist and stop whinging about it. I love seeing a bit of fashion on the table. Same with the golf. The golf course, like, some people wear really cool well. I mean, I can't think of any offhand, but some people. Yeah. Do you think of any golf people? Mike Tindall. Mike Tindall sometimes wears fun golf gear. I've seen him wearing mad stuff. So we're walking into Wimbledon, you know that the way there's like, there's pops and there's people, like, with microphones on sticks and they're kind of shoving in your face and. And.
Joanne
No, but, yeah, well.
Amber
Well, I were walking in anyway and there was a man on the microphone. Obviously he was doing bits and bobs for it. Now. He completely ignored me, by the way, and I knew who this fellow was, but he went up to spend. He was like, oh, how do you think Arthur Ferry is going to do? And Arthur Ferry was just like. He kind of came out of nowhere, this English player young fella. And he'd managed to get himself at that stage to the semi finals, but, like, he literally had come out of nowhere within three days. So, like, unless you're, like, keeping a proper eye on the. You're not going to know who he is. And your mom was like, how are you going to.
Grainger Announcer
How are you getting on with.
Amber
With Arthur Ferry? Are you really excited to see him playing? Spanning was like, sorry, mate, I don't know who you're talking about. And I was like, oh, I was fine. And you know when you're like, oh, viral. I tried to start. I started walking really slowly behind him, trying to let them move forward. I was like, you go shy. Even I knew that was. Yeah. Then it went everywhere. It's like, who's giving these plebs tickets to Wimbledon. It's like this guy like is up and coming. He's. It's not like he's like a Jo Djokovic or something.
Joanne
Yeah.
Amber
Like he's just come in. But it was real. Like, you know when you see it and you're like, oh, it's like when he was asked for gardening tips at, at the flower show and he was like, hire a gardener. I was like, oh, I can't go out with you anymore.
Joanne
He needs a muzzle or a publicist with them at all times. Yeah. No comments. That's what he should be saying. No comment.
Amber
Just never say it.
Joanne
There's so much politics around the Wimbledon access and the tickets and the ballots moment. I kind of. Did I tell you that I got. When we got out of Wimbledon, there was obviously no taxis to be had. My feet were killing me because I was wearing heels, which I'm not like accustomed to. And I end up getting. Me and Sophie, who came with me, we ended getting a musical tuk tuk home. You know, I was like, not that
Amber
far to your house from Wimbledon.
Joe
Actually.
Joanne
It's not actually, cuz I'm in Clapham, which is also southwest London, which isn't that far, but you know what?
Amber
So I wasn't sure if she'd want to say clapping after the whole, well,
Joanne
I am Lady Lambeth now. I mean, we've established that. But do you know the musical tuk tuks? If anyone who doesn't know, they're like, they. No one goes near them when they're sober because they cost about a grand a meter and like they're banging out music really loudly and they've got like glitter coming out the back and they've got fur on them and everything.
Amber
Fabulous.
Joanne
Their hen party vibes. But anyway, me and Sophie, not a care in the world. Hailed one down, beep, beep, off he went up the road and he wouldn't bring us all the way home. So usually what happens is you're screaming at them to let you out because you're terrified of what they're gonna. But obviously we'd so much drink on board at that stage and we couldn't walk in our shoes. So he's like, this is as far as I'm going. And we're like, no, we're like, we'll pay, we'll pay. And he's like, this is as far as I'm going. He only took us like halfway up the road and then he kicked us out. She almost had a ball job. Yeah, it was the most dignified how
Joe
much you paid him, how much was he and how far did he actually take you?
Joanne
Do you think I remember how much we paid him?
Amber
I'll tell you what, I once made the mistake of getting one years ago and it was 75 quid, honestly, for about. I was. I was in it for about eight minutes. Yeah.
Joanne
You always see the tourists in town. There's always stories about the tourists in town, like kind of crying because they were after being demand. Demanded this like insane fee for to be taken up the road. So God only knows. I wouldn't have the heart to check, to be honest. I was just like, just right.
Amber
Tuk tuks and Thailand are like a fiver. They're great.
Joanne
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, these ones are definitely. I mean they're a bit. They're kind of a con really. Well, they're not a con, that's too strong. But anyway, that's how I left Wimbledon.
Amber
I might be going to a beefer.
Joanne
Yeah. What's the crack?
Amber
I might be going to see. Well, Joanne's gonna try and get me hooked up for tickets if I'm going to Carl Cox.
Joanne
Yeah.
Amber
In a. Beat that now I'm going for a different. It's for a job, for something else. But I might be gone for two days, me and Amber and I said if I fall asleep on the plane and then I. I sleep till like maybe 10 o' clock at night, then I could wake up, go see Carl Cox for like two hours. Obviously I'm not going to say till two in the morning and then go home and then my life will be made.
Joanne
It's a shame our paths won't cross.
Amber
I know. And I thought. I thought two of our other friends were there this weekend and they're not.
Joanne
It's a shame. Well, you can warm Carl up for me. Which sounds weirdly sexual, but you know what I mean.
Amber
I think Carl's pretty warmed up. Loads of people have been mailing me about him saying that he's absolutely amazing and bye for.
Joanne
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard he's fab.
Amber
It will save me a trip to wilderness as well, I was thinking. But yeah, I might be doing that this weekend. Hey. Bloody exciting.
Joanne
Exciting.
Amber
I know.
Joanne
She goes again, leaping all around the place.
Amber
It's a working trip, okay.
Joanne
Have the baby there and then it has an Ibizan password and then we can all live there.
Amber
I don't like Ibiza as much as other people. It's a bit. It's a bit loud for me. I like coming down here where it's kind of quiet, but I did bump into a man in the supermarket. He was like, my wife listens to your podcast. And I was like, he was Irish. And he was like, isn't this place. This place is a bit different. And I was like. I was thinking, my head. How have you found out about it? No one comes here. It's empty. And you know when people start coming, you're like, oh, yeah.
Joanne
They're like. They're ruining the crack.
Amber
It's gonna start getting. Yeah, there we go again. As I come over to visit, I don't want anyone.
Joanne
Two immigrants giving out about the tourist industry. Yeah, I know, I know. Like, the absolute audacity of us. It's terrible.
Amber
But that's what I thought. I was like, oh, no, they're on to us.
Joanne
I watched, like, almost everyone I know the Katie Price documentary on now tv.
Amber
Oh, my God.
Grainger Announcer
I haven't.
Amber
I actually have now tv. You made me sign up for it for heated rivalry.
Joanne
There you go.
Amber
So I can watch it. Okay.
Joanne
Yeah, there you go. And I have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed it. And I didn't. It's not like. I have to say, it's not like I thought I wasn't going to enjoy it, but I. I really enjoyed it. I don't know what I was expecting. It was way meatier than I thought. I kind of forgot. She's lived a very full life. Dame Bowers was in it. Gareth Gates was in it. Your man Alex was in it.
Grainger Announcer 2
Yeah.
Amber
Alex say. What did your man Alex say?
Joanne
Well, I mean, Katie has, you know, a sketchy past with men, as we know, and maybe currently, as we know. And so she's talking about that, like, a lot of them, but a lot of them. Peter did not feature, but we kind of guessed that he wouldn't. Peter's very much kind of caught ties there, I think. I mean, I think they. They both say that they parent amicably and all that jazz, but, like, he's not interested in kind of being involved. But it did show that. Do you remember they had a reality TV show now. Spoilers. Spoilers. If anyone is planning on listening to it. So the Gareth Gates thing. So do you remember? So I've completely forgotten about this. Do you remember Gareth Gates thought that she leaked the story about them having their affair.
Amber
Oh, did they? Did she not.
Joanne
I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna say, but I'm just gonna say that all came out in the wash, whether she did or she didn't.
Amber
But she was talking about how she took his virginity, which I thought was a bit unfair. Yeah.
Joanne
So what happened was they, it got out that they were together and he denied it. Now they were, it was more than just a hookup. They had like they were like, you know, there was love there and stuff. And then he, his managers told him to deny it and then she was very hurt by that and that's why she kind of slap slapped back. And then so they kind of get to the bottom of that during the documentary which was really good. The Dame bearers relationship, the Alex relationship, her going back into the jungle, the Peter relationship. It's a, it's a, it's a good watch. It's a juicy document back. I enjoyed it. I will say she. Folks not sold.
Amber
She had. Well no, she's had a juicy life. I just wonder what I'd be interested, I'd be interested to see what like Alex and stuff said because I do. Although I do think that like she's been with people that haven't been that kind to her. I don't think that she's been that kind to them either. I think that like you can like. I don't, I don't love the idea of tearing people down publicly for like books or for, for different reasons like that because I just think I, I personally just wouldn't do it.
Joanne
Yeah.
Amber
But I. To watch her do it.
Joanne
Yeah, there you go. Yeah.
Amber
Well, I don't, I genuinely don't know what it would. I would watch it to see what they had to say for themselves because they never really had a chance to have their side. So I actually think that that's very interesting that they got to have their side. And also Louis Theroux produced it and he's amazing. Like everything he does is amazing.
Joanne
I did feel Alex, I did feel sorry for. Actually she doesn't speak that kindly of him and he does talk about how she kind of used his like cross dressing as, you know, headlines and everything. But I think at that stage I think she was so devastated by the breakup of Peter Andre that she was kind of lashing out from there on in. She says like a lot of her life then was trying to kind of recreate what she had with him. But then it shows snippets from their reality TV show and it is toxic af.
Amber
He doesn't come across well.
Joanne
He doesn't come across well at all.
Amber
He does this. I've seen all those clips online before now. This, this show came out. I saw them. There was like. There was like there was a few months of him Just being dragged under. And, like, when you see some of the stuff, it's like, whoa. But also, didn't her kids. Didn't her kids say that, like, she just wasn't around for them? That was really sad to watch that because obviously, like, she didn't really realize that and. And that's how they felt. But I thought, like, when I saw that, I was like, God, she's really, like, letting everybody say everything.
Joanne
Yeah, she's. There was a lot of. In fairness to her, like, you know, we're. No one's perfect, but she owns up to a lot of the stuff. She's like, I have a lot of regrets. I shouldn't have done this. I shouldn't have done that. There's a lot of accountability taken. She feels very honest, very straight up. She obviously had lots of addiction issues. And what she talks about. And she's clean now. Michelle Heaton is.
Amber
Yes.
Joanne
And she talks about how Katie. She talks somewhere. She talks somewhere else, actually, about how Katie got her off the biz. I did. I just think she comes. I think she comes across really well and very honest. And, you know, the reason I wanted to bring it up on the podcast was we gave her husband so much chat that it felt fair. Only fair to give her some chat considering she's actually out there doing interesting things.
Amber
Yeah. I just find it a shame that it doesn't seem that she has learned from things that happened in her past because of what's currently going on.
Joanne
Yeah. I think her family. Her family are hella confused. Her family come across really well, actually. Her brother and her mom seem really sound on her father. I really liked it. I enjoyed it. Good watch. It's a little ear. Eye Turner, as they'd say. Not Paige Turner. Eye Turner.
Amber
Well, I'm still on the World Cup. Come on. Spain. Spain is. Spain is in the final. Everyone was convinced it was going to be France, but I'm hoping for a Spain England final because I'm in Spain. Like, how much time?
Joe
Yeah, I'm recording this on Wednesday. England play Argentina tonight. We don't know what's. We will.
Amber
Yeah, I think a Spain, England final would be like. I'd be so chuffed with that. It would be really fun to have that here. And, you know, it's lovely to. To have to like, for everybody at home. Like, imagine, Joanne, you have got to go to the pub on Saturday. Is it on Saturday, the final Sunday?
Joanne
No. Do you know what? I will definitely get on board for the final. For sure. That is something I will. That is a wagon I will jump on.
Amber
Definitely around everybody. You. I don't even think you need friends to go to the pub. I think everyone's around now. I think you can literally go on your own. It's a single woman.
Joanne
Single woman. Sunday on Acids. Yeah.
Amber
I just love all the stuff around it though, because you were. We were talking about that Erling Harland who has gone up over 20 million followers. He plays for Norway. He, I mean he can't have missed him. He's the Viking. Kind of looks like Amber. On a non offensive way. Kind of looks like Amber. He does kind of look like Amber. And, and he was pictured going home with like this 40 grand Birkin. And yeah, he was getting on the flight and one arm was like a 40 grand Birkin and the other arm was the, was the taxidermy raccoon.
Joe
Yeah.
Joanne
What was the crack with the raccoon?
Amber
So the raccoon was. He had a raccoon in his, in his room in his hotel and he just kept talking to it and being like, hey, mate, like he's quite funny online on Tick Tock and stuff like that. And then obviously he ended up just taking it from the hotel and bringing it home. Wouldn't be my first thing that I consider ste. Stealing from a hotel really now. Well, I don't know if he still. I'm sure they gave it to him. I can't imagine a taxidermy raccoon would be. Are they not vermin in America? Are they not treated like rats? Or Joanne's friends. John's friends.
Joanne
Excuse me.
Amber
Yeah, I know I said rats or Joanne's friends. A little baby. Yeah. Did you catch any mice?
Joanne
No, no, I, I, he goes away. He, I think he's out visiting friends, but he always comes back because every time I think he's on, he, he goes away the odd time, but he, he always comes back. Him rustling around down there. I've kind of forgotten to get cheese. I've lost interest. We just live together now. I'm just, I've just accepted it. Are you googling something, Joe?
Joe
Yeah, important that we don't incriminate Erlene Harland. Apparently he purchased the raccoon via legitimate means.
Joanne
Oh, okay.
Amber
I say that we're thrilled to offload that.
Joanne
Okay. I've heard of people stealing bathrobes, but raccoons. Okay, well, like I say, I will for I will get involved on Sunday.
Amber
Yeah.
Joanne
No matter who's involved in the final. I will go and watch them push their little ball around the field in their costumes.
Amber
I just. I kind of don't want Argentina to win.
Joanne
They.
Amber
I don't. I don't. They. They won last time. I don't feel like they should get it twice in a row. I think it's nice to share it.
Grainger Announcer 2
When you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant, you keep production lines moving and quality on track because there is no room for slowdowns. With Grainger's vast selection of high quality motors, sensors, belts and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place. So nothing gets in the way of getting the job done. Call 1-800-GRAINGER Click ranger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.
Joanne
I gotta. I was getting some hey girly texts during the week. Joan, do you know what a hate girly text is?
Joe
No.
Joanne
It's the term for when someone's boyfriend is cheating on them and they get notified by another woman in their DMs. It's like, hey girly.
Joe
So the woman who's being cheated on is a hey girly?
Joanne
Yes. So it's like a woman, you know, girl code has notices and things up and so they're letting, like, hey girl. Just letting you know your boyfriend. Blah, blah. I got a hey girly text during the week.
Grainger Announcer 2
No.
Joanne
That the Nigerian footballer was shoulder flirting with Cardi B at some fashion show in Paris.
Joe
How could he do this?
Amber
I. Joanne, I didn't want to bring it up. I knew you. I know you hadn't posted about it, but yeah, I know myself. And there was a couple of occasions as well.
Joanne
Yeah, there was a couple of occasions. And even I, watching from afar, could smell the sexual chemistry between the two of them. I was like, oh, this is on. He looked unbelievable. As did she. And she looked, she looked, she was like blushing and stuff.
Amber
She looked giddy.
Joanne
She was kind of giggling.
Amber
You know when you. That's the problem when someone's too hot though. Like, this is the thing with him. Like you just. You're so kind of self conscious and like you. You'll turn into like you could this really strong, confident person walking in and then you see him and you're like, yeah, talk to me. And like, there's no way I'd eat a mouth full of food around him. I would just be too embarrassed. I'd never go to the toilet. I would turn. I would, I would turn into a robot. I just, I wouldn't be able to live a comfortable life with a man like that. He's too. Yeah, he's too much.
Joanne
He's too much. And then he was touching his hair, which is a big sign. If a man fancies you, he touches his hair.
Amber
Really?
Joanne
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. See, Joe's never touched his hair once. That's how we know he's nowhere.
Amber
Are you mad? He is always touching his hair.
Joanne
They touch their hair. He's obsessed with us. I was trying to get him to stop. This is me trying to get Joe to stop touching his hair. It's really distracting. It's like, we know what you're doing, Joe. Put your hands where we can see him. But men, they fix their hair. I think it's like a little grooming thing, you know? So he was like. He was really touching. He was touched. He was rubbing his hair solid, solidly in front of cardi b. So look. So basically, look, whatever it's. But that won't last. That's. That's a flash.
Amber
No, no. And sure, I heard she was getting back with her fellow, so maybe they were just flirting. So there's still. Yeah, there's still space for you.
Joanne
You. Yes, there's still space for me. There's still space. The man has 12 phones, so I'm sure there's still space for me.
Amber
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I 100 agree.
Joanne
You're gonna get them. I have faith. Did you see the story about that poor bastard who was sucked out of the Ryan airplane by his head while his wife held on to his feet and he was out in the sky for three minutes?
Amber
Where are the pictures of that? Because do you remember that pilot went out the. Went out the front window of the plane and the other two pilots were holding him on? Yeah, basically. And he got loads of frostbite and everything. And I think he broke his leg or something like that, but, like, he survived. Where were the pictures of the man who got sucked out of the Ryan airplane?
Joanne
Of course, we're like, if it's no. If there's no photos, it didn't happen. But I believe that this absolutely did happen.
Amber
Where were they flying to?
Joanne
I think somewhere in Greece. There's Serbian something somewhere around that part of the land. And it's. But you remember years. Remember when the. The Air India flight and you remember the cell survivor was 11A. And everyone was like, yeah, this is windows seat, window seat. And now everyone's after this story. It's very much. Everyone's very much aisle focused. Once again, there's no way. Only because he had a seatbelt on him, he would have been sucked out.
Amber
Oh, my God. And he nearly was sucked out. It was. She was holding him in. That's true love as well. Because if you. If you were having a fight with your fella or something, you're on your own there, B. I know. See you later, Dorothy.
Joanne
Some wives would be like the manifestation I never thought would happen. I can't believe it's actually happening. He's gone out the window of the airplane. Mental. But yeah, she. She held on to him and her. She was like, if we die, if he dies, I die. We die together.
Amber
I think when I found out Ryanair bought all the. The. The big planes off the Boeings off the. From. Remember, they all started just nose diving down and they like lost three Boeings and then supposedly they got fixed and Ryanair bought them all. I feel a bit uncomfortable.
Joanne
Where safe now? The cockpit. Are we all. Do we all just go into the cockpit?
Joe
No, because that one blew out as well, didn't it? The pipe got sucked out. So. No, that's not.
Joanne
I enjoy air crash investigation, as you know, where I watch a lot of it. But even. Even in the news now, there seems to be so many stories about planes falling apart and engineers not fixing them, and that's what happened to the Ryanair thing. A bit of the. A bit of the airplane cracked off, blew back and broke the window. Go. Anyway, my plan now is to rail and sell to Ibiza. It's not. It's not. Yeah. I'm gonna land into the port.
Amber
Have you fully booked Ibiza? Is it happening? I can't wait to hear. Oh, this is gonna be good.
Joanne
It's happening, but only for a couple of days and then I'm going to Barcelona.
Amber
What are you doing in Barcelona?
Joanne
I'm going for a little jaunt. Little Barca jaunt.
Amber
A jaunty to maybe sitches. I want to go to Siches.
Joanne
No, I don't know. I'm going to Barcelona.
Amber
What happened the last time. Something happened the last time she went to Barcelona. Oh, she didn't like her hotel. They wouldn't give you food.
Joanne
Yeah.
Amber
Remember? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Joanne
I don't know. My lessons have been learned.
Amber
That's mad, though, about the Ryanair fella. I wonder what they're going to give him. Imagine, they just give him loads of Ryan Air features. You'd be raging like. I'm not really sure I'm gonna fly you again, to be honest with you.
Joanne
I. There's a saying that I have never used before, but I'm gonna use it now and I think it's the first time it's appropriate. It. New Fear unlocked.
Amber
I had the most exceptional travel day down here. We had to get up at like half four in the morning and I was wrecked and the kid like usually was a bit sick, but the kids were in really good form. Just had time for breakfast in the airport, straight in the plane and I took out my book to read it and I fell asleep against the window for two and a half. I woke up in Spain. That never happens to me.
Joanne
My wish for you is that you do get sucked out of the window on the way to I beat that. But you are in your seatbelt. Amber holds your legs, keeps you in. And then we get to talk about it on the podcast. So if there's an engineer listening, please find your flight information and maybe don't put the screw back. Don't put the screw back on quite as tightly as it should be on.
Amber
I don't think I'd currently fit out the window either. So it's more safe for me to go than for you to go.
Joanne
Just the baby bump out in the wind and your arms and legs and head on the. On the inside of the window would be a great photo.
Amber
I'll do it for the picture. And did you hear about those burglars that were. I have a couple of robbery stories that I really loved this week. There were three burglars and they were jailed for five years each because they stole a million pounds worth of Mounjaro from a hospital in Albans.
Joanne
A million quid.
Amber
A million quiz worth of Mounjaro. They went in through an air conditioning duct as well. This all just seems so appropriate.
Joanne
I, I mean it's the new Robin Hood crystals. And the money, it's, it's. It's given. Taken from the rich and given to the bloated. I don't know, like, I mean, well, they can't.
Amber
They haven't found it so obviously. Like. I don't know. I haven't. Like, is this what drug dealers are selling now? Mouno.
Joanne
Mouno. And they. But they caught the three lines. They've been given five years, but they haven't found the Manaro.
Grainger Announcer
No.
Amber
Because it's gone on to be sold on the streets. I'm sure on the streets. I sound like my mom.
Joanne
Every elder millennial with the hang up of an ed is on their way to St. Albans now to get ready for the summer.
Amber
It's disgusting, you know, in a beat that when I have heard that people get like menus. Drugs. Yeah. So. So you could. There's probably menus for like Manjaro and peptides and what's the other one called? A Zek. They probably have all the HGH Human. What's the other one? Test.
Joanne
Hrt. Hrt.
Amber
Hrt. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe that's on it too. That's what the drug dealers are selling now. They don't sell drugs anymore. They just sell things like that. Everyone's just gotten so into wellness that they're like creatine pre workout.
Joanne
It is kind of funny though. Like, like it's. It what? They're like, they're basically. I mean they're not burglars. They're like wellness philanthropists. It's just, it's just really funny what people want illegally now telling you Skinny's back, baby. Skinny's back. And it's on the streets. It's on the hard streets of St. Albans also. Just the same. Obviously joking like, you know, your, your beach body is your body as it is. Etc. But I, you know, it is really funny though. There's Manjaro floating around. It is like, come on.
Grainger Announcer 2
When you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant, you keep production lines moving and quality on track because there is no room for slowdowns. With Grainger's vast selection of high quality motors, sensors, belts and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place. So nothing gets in the way of getting the job done. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click granger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.
Amber
Another robbery I had to talk about. So you know Nicholas Sturgeon, she was the, she was basically like the Prime Minister of Scotland, wasn't she?
Joanne
Yes, yes.
Amber
Her husband, First Minister. The First Minister of Scotland. Her husband was caught embezzling, basically stealing money and putting it on expenses. Now he was caught because eventually what he did was he bought pounds worth of Mont Blanc pens. Now what. Wait, some of the. That's what got him caught. It was only when the Mont Blanc pens and someone was like, hang on a second, he's expensing £19,000 worth of pence. Now she isn't. She's not going to prison. She hasn't had anything to do with it. She didn't know any of this. But I mean he did buy a motorhome at one point as well, which was 125 grand. He bought Le Creuset pots and pans that were part of.
Joanne
He's the husband now. You'd be like, you'd let him out the window of the plane. Wouldn't you? I'd say, Nicola, after the 19 grand to the Mount Blanc plans. Mount Blanc. Mount Blanc.
Amber
What are they called?
Joanne
Mount Blanc pans.
Amber
Mont Blanc.
Joanne
Mont Blanc.
Amber
How much does one of those pens cost, Joe? Because if he's buying it the surety. A pen doesn't cost 18 grand. He must have got loads.
Joanne
Manjaro probably costs around that. That's why people are looking for it on the cheap.
Joe
Cheap Kreis. The first one that comes up is £7,200. Very nice. Very nice pen.
Amber
Why is it so nice? Is it gold?
Joe
They're sort of their fountain pens. So that you can do, you know your squiggly seven.
Amber
Who's buying a pen? Who.
Joe
Eight grand. Four grand.
Joanne
That is. No, that's not. That's if they're a barber. Tumble drawing the sheets. That is absolutely insanity to be honest.
Amber
Well then. He's only bought two pens. Can we. We should relax a bit.
Joanne
Yeah.
Amber
He's only bought two.
Joanne
Yeah.
Amber
He made. He made 380Amazon orders. There's just like 12 grands worth of Apple products.
Joanne
He needs to find a pen dealer himself. He needs to find someone who's like robbed. Mont Blanc. Those Mounjaro lads probably did. They seem like modern men, man. Another case of a woman being publicly humiliated by her husband.
Amber
Yeah, he definitely. You're right. She would have to let him out the plane window. There's no way to hold on to that.
Joanne
You wouldn't be. She don't do the seatbelt herself. I'd say let him float away into the sky like a blimp.
Amber
Did you see Cara Delevingne to the COVID of Playboy? I did.
Joanne
She looked phenomenal.
Amber
She looked amazing. I thought it was very classy. She did.
Joanne
And she just. Did you listen to her? She didn't know. She did Louis Theroux podcast and it was. I like. I'm not. I'm not saying I don't like Louis. I do like Louis. But I feel like Louis Theroux has a tendency to make out like he doesn't really know his guests or something. Like he's just. He's kind of a bit.
Grainger Announcer 2
Yeah.
Amber
Yeah.
Joanne
Do you notice that?
Amber
I. I haven't noticed that with the ones I've listened to. I. I'd be strong. I'm one of those people that. I'd struggle to say something mean about him. I just really like him. Yeah. Why? Yeah, I do know why. I've just. I. I'm. I'm kind of impressed by him, you know, that way I' and impressed by him.
Joanne
Yeah. And I might be blocking myself from ever getting on the Louis 3 podcast, but whatevs. But I do think he has a tendency to kind of fumble and bumble around the industry the person's in. And there is. It always feels to me like he has a little bit of a. Well, you know, the way we got it, like. Well, I don't know who you are, Louis.
Amber
I don't know if you get it as much as I do, but, yeah.
Joanne
Oh, I certainly do. Oh, I certainly do.
Amber
Why do we have to look at her?
Joanne
Very keen to tell you I've never even heard of her, so. Well, I've never heard of you either, Paul. Okay, but. And I feel like Louis did a little bit. He does. He just does. It's a little. I find him a little naggy sometimes. So. He was a bit like that with Cara, but I thought she handled it very, very well. And because he was like, you know, I know nothing about fashion, blah, blah. She's. She's moved into music now. She's got an album coming out.
Amber
Actress.
Joanne
She's a really good actress.
Grainger Announcer 2
She.
Joanne
She was. I was a bird. I thought it was a brilliant chat, and I thought she came across really, really well on it. And she's, you know, she's got her demons that she's handling the podcast at some point.
Amber
No shade, obviously.
Joanne
Yeah, absolutely. Maybe. Maybe now if. If he hears this, he'll know who I am when I go on, so we won't have to do his whole. Because someone did it to him once and he didn't like it.
Amber
It.
Joanne
Someone did it to him. Do you remember there was a clip, went viral of someone. He went, thanks for doing the pod. And she went, what? He goes, thanks for doing the pod. And she went, well, it was just in the. In the diary. And he said, well, it was in the diary because you agreed to do it. And she was like, sure. And it was this really weird standoff between the two of them.
Amber
You know, I never. Things like that just can't offend me. I feel like I've gotten, like. I don't know if it's my time in my life, but I'm just like, oh, whatever. I just have lost interest in really caring what people think about me.
Joanne
I know.
Amber
Well, it's just. I just. I'm. I'm like, I'm 40. I don't care anymore. Yeah, I know what I do. I don't care if you don't know what I do.
Grainger Announcer
I know.
Joanne
I know it's not. It's not even a big slag. It's like, you think this is a weird flex. It's not. I don't care. Do you know what I mean? My mother doesn't probably. Like, I'm trying to think of an example. I was gonna say. I was gonna say Obama, but, like, that's obviously a stretch. She does know who Obama is, but, like, depending on the context, there's people living their lives who don't know who. Who. People who are such a massive part of our lives are. It doesn't matter.
Grainger Announcer 2
Cares.
Amber
It really doesn't matter. Yeah.
Joanne
But I think Louis, Daphne, he's, you know, sometimes he's a little too cool for school is what I would say in it. That's the nice way of saying it. Hi, Louie. Love your work.
Amber
Oh, my God. I wanted to talk about the story about the dog who had to be rescued off a mountain because he ate cannabis. Oh, public service announcement. Because I always. Whenever I'm walking, even when I'm walking the kids to school, I just smell weeds the whole. The whole time. So many people smoke weed, but so obviously somebody was going hiking up a mountain that they threw their spliff away or something, or else they dropped it or they dropped weed and the dog ate it, is what they think happened. And so this dog got really stoned, but he was a really heavy Labrador, so then they had to, like, airlift the dog to hospital, and the dog went to the vet and they gave him. Now, here's another tip, by the way, because you remember the way we were saying if you did what. I was saying if you did acid, you might peel your skin off, and I made you really scared. Scared. Activated charcoal is what saves you from all that stuff. I thought it was just for vomiting bugs. Turns out it does a lot more if you don't.
Joanne
The problem is no one, like you're suggesting, like, it's a life hack. Like, we have activated charcoal lying around the house.
Amber
I used to. For vomiting bugs, because my kids would get vomiting bugs all the time. Yeah. And you just take activated charcoal and even give it to the kids, and it kind of eats up the bug. So it obviously eats up the.
Joanne
The.
Amber
The cannabis in the dog's body anyway,
Joanne
because I thought they used it for. If you needed your stomach pumped. I thought they pumped you full of activated charcoal as opposed to deactivated charcoal, and then it kind of activates your life again. Is that true?
Amber
God, they might do that. Is that. Is that right?
Joe
It says it's very porous. So it absorbs traps, toxins, chemicals and gases in the gut, preventing the body absorbing them. So same it's in the dog's stomach, but the dog is going to continue getting more and more stoned if. And then they give it the charcoal and then it absorbs it in these grounds.
Joanne
Yeah, I just think it's.
Amber
That is.
Joanne
That's pretty folk. That means you'll finally do acid and I'll just sit beside you with some activated charcoal. Ready?
Amber
If I start going for the potato, Peter, that's what, you know, give her the charcoal.
Joanne
Yeah, if she starts getting the nail file out, I'll be like, go time. I'm going in with the activator charcoal.
Amber
Well everyone, thank you for listening.
Joanne
I cannot believe that you didn't. This whole podcast didn't mention the Pitbull bald cap record breaking event that happened in the park. You being such a Pitbull fan.
Amber
And you know what? I got offered tickets to him, but it was too late. It was. And it was also. It was. It was at half nine but I only got offered them at nine o' clock by somebody. But yes, he's broken his record. So he. He want to break a record at BST Hyde park for the most amount of bald caps worn at a concert. And 22,000 people showed up wearing a bald cap and he broke the record.
Joanne
I was hella confused because when I left my house at the weekend, I was immediately met with the gaggle of women at a bus stop wearing ball caps. And I was like, what on earth is going on here? And as I walked further into town, more of them were popping up. It was like whack a mole. Just women in ball caps everywhere. And of course then I had to google it. And then I realized about the Pitbull thing. I think it was Greg James and was the one who suggested it, but I was laughing because I was like, I'm so vain. I probably would have waited till I got to the park to pop it on, but these women were like, they were out. They were. The ball caps were on the journey with them. It was actually really funny.
Amber
He is so good live as well. He's absolutely hilarious to watch. Like he's really. He remember I went to him in December or something like that and everyone was wearing the ball caps then and Shaggy was performing before for him. So yeah, he did bst, but you know any of them.
Joanne
Apparently he's like a really sweet person and really cute and everything and he was saying about the campus like it's an honor and it's. I'm so blessed. The name Pitbull suggests that there's gonna be. I don't know, like, it doesn't seem like such a sweet. He should be called Poodle or something. Like, Pitbull feels like you're gonna be there with, you know, lads with shanks and stuff, not like a gaggle of women having the cracking ball caps. I think you need to replace fans.
Amber
It's a. It's a very, very good gig. But, like, he can't really play all the songs because he's just got loads of people covering, so he can't play them all. But he's still very good.
Joanne
Keisha opened up for him and she was wearing a ball cap too.
Joe
Was she?
Grainger Announcer 2
Yeah.
Amber
God, I haven't seen her in years.
Joanne
Says the song changed her life.
Amber
What was her song, Joe?
Joe
Timber.
Joanne
Timber.
Amber
I remember that song. Yeah, that did change your life.
Joanne
I mean, it's up there for me. It's up there with crazy Frog. But I respect. I. I respect. Respected success in the same breath anyway, by the way, for anyone. I am touring North America, which includes Canada in the fall. I need to start. I need to start the sale. The sale needs to begin. I very much abandoned it. Coming to a town near you in
Amber
Peterpuff Castle tonight, we can finally say
Joanne
that it's I am finally puffing in the castle.
Amber
This has been a global production.
Date: July 17, 2026
Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
In this lively episode, Vogue (dialing in from Spain) and Joanne (in London) are joined by their friend Amber, with Joe chiming in as the podcast pal/fact-checker. The hosts bring their usual blend of sharp wit, candid confessions, and light-hearted personal anecdotes. The chat weaves through everything from sweat disasters at Wimbledon to viral tennis fashions, the Katie Price documentary, "hey girly" texts, world cup gossip, wild thefts, and even breaking a bald cap world record with Pitbull. Unfiltered laughter and honest takes on pop culture, relationships, and life’s embarrassing moments remain at the heart of the show.
[01:09-03:54]
“Looked like I pissed my pants. I had sweat ... I had to stand under the hand dryer and open my trousers.” – Amber [01:23-02:26]
“When I stood up...it looked like I’d also urinated myself just at the desk.” – Joanne [03:11]
“I can’t live like this. I’m just wet all the time.” – Joanne [04:54]
[05:07-09:36]
“She needs to get sectioned...the tumble dryer in this!” – Joanne [07:36]
“It’s a national pastime. We’re obsessed with it.” – Joanne [09:25]
[10:02-12:31]
“Tennis gear is the way forward. I have so many cool tennis outfits, I just need to start playing tennis.” – Amber [11:13]
“I can kind of understand…it’s supposed to be about the sport not fashion.” – Joanne [11:33]
[12:37-15:47]
“No one goes near them sober because they cost about a grand a meter.” – Joanne [14:38] “He only took us like halfway up the road, and then he kicked us out.” – Joanne [15:15]
[16:13-33:44]
“New fear unlocked.” – Joanne [32:44]
[18:15-23:19]
“There’s a lot of accountability taken…She feels very honest, very straight up.” – Joanne [22:07]
[23:19-26:44]
[27:08-29:39]
“He was rubbing his hair solidly in front of Cardi B. That’s a big sign.” – Joanne [28:48] “The man has 12 phones, so I’m sure there’s still space for me.” – Joanne [29:32]
[34:01-38:04]
“It's the new Robin Hood…Taken from the rich and given to the bloated.” – Joanne [34:11]
[44:39-46:25]
“I was immediately met with a gaggle of women at a bus stop wearing ball caps. And I was like, what on earth is going on here?” – Joanne [45:12] “Apparently he’s like a really sweet person…” – Joanne [46:01]
[42:27-44:24]
“Life hack: activated charcoal … it does a lot more…” – Amber [43:18] “If I start going for my potato peeler, that’s when you know—give me the charcoal.” – Amber [44:20]
“Looked like I pissed my pants. I had sweat...I had to stand under the hand dryer and open my trousers.” [01:23-02:26]
“I can’t live like this. I’m just wet all the time.” [04:54]
“It’s a national pastime. We’re obsessed with it.” [09:25]
“It’s the term for when someone’s boyfriend is cheating on them and they get notified by another woman—it’s like, ‘Hey girly…’” [27:14]
“No one goes near them sober because they cost about a grand a meter and they’re banging out music really loudly…” [14:38]
“It was like whack-a-mole. Just women in bald caps everywhere.” [45:12]
The episode is a whirlwind of irreverence, confessional “therapy,” and classic Irish-British self-deprecation, packed with punchy asides (“new fear unlocked!”), playful ribbing, and the odd helpful tip (activated charcoal in emergencies!). The conversation flows with natural chemistry, sprinkled with running gags about sweat, travel mishaps, and celebrity chaos.
This episode offers the perfect mix of embarrassing confessions, social commentary, and a smattering of current pop culture. Whether you’re tuning in for the laughs, the brutally honest “therapy,” or just a catch-up on the week’s weirdest stories, Vogue and Joanne (with Amber) never fail to deliver big energy, relatability, and razor-sharp humor.