Joanne has secrets... Vogue needs to know them NOW.

Summary

Podcast Summary: My Therapist Ghosted Me

Episode: Joanne has secrets... Vogue needs to know them NOW.
Date: May 22, 2026
Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
Main Theme:
This episode centers around secrets, celebrity scandals, and the enduring friendship between Vogue and Joanne. Joanne has recently returned from a mysterious TV project, guarded by an NDA, driving Vogue wild with curiosity. The pair dive into celebrity gossip (most importantly, the Katie Price & Lee Andrews saga), darkly humorous discussions about hiring hitmen, unsolved murders, and pop culture court cases. There are also anecdotes about moving house, travel, and confessions about their less-than-perfect lives.

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Main Topics and Discussion Points

1. Joanne’s Return and NDA Drama

• Joanne is back on the podcast after time away, but can't share anything about her secret TV project due to a strict NDA.
  • She jokes about being unusually responsible:

    "For once in my life, I'm going to take an NDA seriously… I wouldn't tell Vogue, I wouldn't tell anyone—my mother Pat wanted to know and then was deeply offended." – Joanne (00:47)

• Vogue is hilariously frustrated, feeling left in the dark and lamenting that Joanne isn’t reciprocating the open-book nature of their friendship.

2. The Katie Price & Lee Andrews Saga

• The women break down Katie Price’s whirlwind romance and rapid marriage to Lee Andrews, a man alleged to be a conman.
• Joanne summarizes the controversy and shadiness (“red flags”) around Lee Andrews:

  "Any expat living in Dubai trying to get you to invest in his crypto company — nino nino, flag, flag, flag... Face. Nino." – Joanne (04:27)

• Lee's false credentials, conning partners, alleged domestic abuse, and his sudden disappearance are discussed with a mix of concern and dark humor.
• The women have differing reactions:
  • Vogue expresses little sympathy for Katie Price:

    "My sympathy taps have run dry... I just don't. Like. I know that you’re saying that. I just don't." – Vogue (09:54)

  • Joanne feels some empathy for Katie, noting her pattern of “rescuing” men, referencing Catherine Ryan’s idea of “rescue syndrome,” and recalls Katie’s exposure of her own vulnerabilities.
• Louisa Zisman’s detective work and the viral Chris Hemsworth photo swap are mentioned as examples of how wild the story has gotten (08:12).
• They joke that Katie’s narrative might be as much PR as heartbreak, with Joanne suspecting possible “collaborative effort” in the scandal.

3. Moving House & Life Logistics

• Joanne briefly vents about the chaos of moving, needing help from organizers ("Hazel" is recommended by Vogue) and how she just wishes she could “throw money at this” to make all the hassle go away (15:44).
• Both hosts agree on the luxury and stress-relief of having someone to help, acknowledging the privilege involved.

4. Crime, Hitmen, and True Crime

• The conversation jumps to crime statistics and society’s obsession with true crime:
  • Quiz: What percentage of UK murders are solved? Joanne guesses 3%, but Vogue reveals 90% are solved (18:50).
  • Quiz: How much to hire a hitman? Joanne guesses £20k, but they reveal that jobs can be done for as little as £200 (“and he spent it on a fake Gucci hat” – Vogue, 21:16).
• Recommendations fly:
  • Joanne suggests the podcast/documentary "Hit List" (22:45).
  • Vogue brings up the Angelina Jolie urban legend about trying to hire a hitman for herself (23:02).

5. Amanda Knox, Duffy, and Infamous Women

• Jo and Vogue debate Amanda Knox—innocent or guilty—in light of her upcoming Edinburgh Fringe show (33:02).
  • Joanne feels she is innocent:

    "I think she's completely innocent. I think it was one of the biggest miscarriages of justice..." – Joanne (33:40)

  • Vogue says, “I do definitely think that she did.” (34:10)
• The bizarre Duffy kidnapping story is discussed, with both hosts puzzled by the details and her anonymity about the perpetrator (16:25).

6. Cannes, EasyJet, and Red Carpet Antics

• Vogue relays her recent Cannes Film Festival trip, attending with Nespresso and spotting bold behaviour on the red carpet (36:16).
• They observe that Cannes is now full of influencers and random attendees trying to get in the shot.
• Joanne jokes about flying Ryanair and never being stabbed, poking fun at airline stereotypes (39:05).

7. Irish Folklore & Statues

• The women fall into a typically Irish tangent about kissing the Blarney Stone, rubbing the Molly Malone statue, and the gullibility of believing urban myths (39:58).
  • Joanne:

    "I believed for a 24-hour period that they were electrifying the Molly Malone statue so that if anyone tried to rub her breasts they would get electrocuted." (39:58)

• Both are horrified by the germs on the Blarney Stone and discuss “kissing diseases” (41:21).

8. Self-Promotion and Life Updates

• Vogue’s paperback is out—“Big Mouth,” plug plug!—and she plans to rearrange books in airport shops (24:03).
• Joanne touts her upcoming North American stand-up tour dates (43:15).
• Usual loving banter about their family names, travel, and poking fun at each other's organizational skills and spelling abilities.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On trusting NDAs:

  “For once in my life, I'm taking an NDA seriously.” – Joanne (01:08)

• Katie Price drama summary:

  “Any expat living in Dubai trying to get you to invest in his crypto company. Nino, nino!” – Joanne (04:27)

• Cynicism about celebrity scandal:

  “I’ve looked for vapes in the flat longer than five days [than Katie looked for Lee],” – Joanne (08:05)

• On hiring hitmen:

  “I was told the pub is a great place to get one.” – Vogue (20:23) “You could probably find someone who’d do it for a grand, but if you want a professional…” – Joanne (21:05)

• On kissing the Blarney Stone:

  “Imagine kissing the stone that all the other people have kissed. Rotten.” – Vogue (40:52)

• On making bad choices in love:

  “I’m coming at it as a woman who has made some bad decisions regarding men.” – Joanne (26:46)

• On Irish childhoods:

  “I put in a solid shift on the train, up and down, scored about 300 people, and got glandular fever.” – Joanne (41:48)

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Key Timestamps

• 00:47 – Joanne returns and discusses NDAs
• 03:20 – Introduction to the Katie Price/Lee Andrews saga
• 08:12 – Louisa Zisman and the Chris Hemsworth photo scandal
• 09:54 – Vogue’s “dry sympathy taps” for celebrity drama
• 15:44 – Joanne’s house moving woes, “throw money at it” approach
• 18:50 – UK murder statistics quiz
• 21:16 – Hitman cost rundown (£3–5k, or as little as £200!)
• 22:45 – “Hit List” podcast recommendation
• 33:02 – Amanda Knox at the Edinburgh Fringe; differing host opinions
• 36:16 – Vogue’s Cannes trip and red carpet stories
• 39:58 – Molly Malone statue & April Fools’ blindness
• 41:21 – Blarney Stone and “kissing diseases”
• 43:10 – Closing thoughts, upcoming tours, and more mutual roasting

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Tone & Style

• Playful, irreverent, and unfiltered, with rapid-fire banter and deeply Irish humor.
• The show is infused with candor (“100% honesty guaranteed”), empathy, and a mutual willingness to roast each other and themselves.
• Dark humor is common, especially around celebrity gossip and true crime, balanced by warmth and genuine interest in each other’s lives.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a textbook entry to the world of My Therapist Ghosted Me: wild celebrity gossip, surprisingly deep dives into personal patterns, comic self-reflection, and ever-present Irishness. The chemistry between Vogue and Joanne keeps it lively, switchbacks between cynical observations and heartfelt confessions, all while never quite letting each other get the last word.

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Recommended if you enjoy:

• Celebrity drama and reality TV
• True crime’s wildest stories (with a darkly comic twist)
• Chaos, laughter, and irreverence
• Honest, unfiltered female friendship

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For all book plugs, therapy tales, and the inside scoop on TV secrets... you’ll get all the laughs and none of the spoilers.

Transcript

[A]

This is a Global Player original podcast.

[B]

Here we go again.

[A]

I've looked for vapes in the flat longer.

[B]

I think I'm gonna have to have the baby in Alaska.

[A]

I've decided for once in my life to take an NDA seriously. Any expat living in Dubai trying to get you to invest as crypto company. Nina. Nina. Nino. Why'd you sound like Nigel Farage screaming Boring there, boy. Boring.

[B]

She is. Oh, that sounds like the cat's mother. Jan is back.

[A]

I'm back. I am. I have returned. How. How much did you miss me on a scale of 1 to 10?

[B]

Joanne, I was quite concerned about how much I missed you. I didn't understand it, and then I was like, I just. It just got worse and worse, I think because I couldn't talk to you or anything, and I just. Yeah, and because I was so nosy. But you are playing by the rules and she won't tell me anything.

[A]

God, I am.

[B]

I'm. I'm keeping that in mind, by the way, because I told you everything and you're nothing.

[A]

Yeah, no, no, that is. That is fair. But I am. I've decided for once in my life to take an NDA seriously.

[C]

How much do they sue you for if you do say something?

[A]

I don't know, actually, but considering worth pricing it up.

[B]

I knew something about the last celebrity series. Like, before it they'd even finished filming. I knew. I knew a really, really big plot line because someone was really pissed off and told me about it.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. So obviously everybody talks a little bit, but, like, no one wants. Wants to really know. Like, when those pop pictures came out, everyone was like, why are you posting these? Like, it's a TV show. Like, we all want to actually watch it.

[A]

Yeah, I know. They're gonna. It's. Yeah, I know. Because then if you figure out who's in when, and then you kind of can decode what's happening. So anyway, for once in my life, I'm Keep information to myself. I've told nobody. I wouldn't. I wouldn't tell Vogue. I wouldn't tell anyone anything. My mother, of course, Pat wanted to know and then was deeply offended. She goes, well, I don't care anyway.

[B]

I don't think Pat does care. I think she just thought she cared, but I don't know. Why would Pat care? I don't think she cares.

[A]

She was just. I was just. You know when you're like, Just because I wouldn't give her the information, she's like, well, I. You know, it's Kind of.

[B]

What?

[A]

I'm only making conversation. Conversation. I'm only asking you to legally break a professional document that could literally bankrupt you. I don't care.

[B]

Can you at least tell us who was your best friends in there?

[A]

I love everyone equally.

[B]

No, you don't. No one does. Sorry. No. Some people are annoying. Living with people that you've never lived with before. There's. There's a load of melters in there.

[A]

Yeah. No, no, they're. Oh, genuinely, we were really lucky. There was no melters.

[B]

But you know what? I. Thrilled you're back. Thanks. Great. Thank you. Fab.

[A]

I can confirm nor deny anything, but I do have something large in the pipeline. And. And the pipeline will be cleared in autumn and then all. And then all the gloves are off and then the memoir's coming out and then it's just me outside the castle with Claudia. Win. Claudia asked me to go for dinner with her after, but I said, claudia, I can't. I need to go back to London and find out where the fuck Leandre is.

[B]

Where's Leandre? I. Do you know what I kind of Leandrews is Katie Price's might be husband. Everybody, I'm sure. I mean, I. Everyone's on the lookout. He is.

[A]

It's the story of the year. It's the story of the year. Joe, are you aware, as you know,

[C]

I never read any popular culture news whatsoever because this is my source.

[A]

Well, Le.

[C]

Who is LE Andrews?

[B]

Can I say for once that I'm just a bit like. I just feel like Katie Price. Come on. Is what's next. Like, I. I find it all very monotonous. I feel sorry for her kids having to put up with that all the time. And I think it's boring. It's attention seeking, it's stupid, it's embarrassing. But Joanne, I'd love to hear about it.

[A]

Wow. Wow.

[B]

I just. She kind of like. Christ, I'm like, here we go again.

[A]

Well, look, this is my. This is my take on it. Obviously. I live for this stuff because I am pathetic. Leon. Katie Price, look, she doesn't have the best history with lads. I don't either. So, like, I see you. Do you know what I mean? I don't know.

[B]

You don't have the same history as Katie Price.

[A]

We both make straight. We have both been. We've both made some pretty strange decisions.

[B]

I will say that on different. I'd say in different stratospheres, but.

[A]

Yeah, well, yes, I think because hers is publicized and I mean. Yeah, but I think. I think I was listening to Catherine Ryan's talk about it, and she was saying she has a rescue syndrome where she's kind of rescuing these men at the. She can fix them. She married this guy called Lee Andrews after, like a week of knowing him. He's obviously a wrong. Like, he's like. You could smell it off him. Put it this way. Any expat living in Dubai trying to get you to invest in his crypto company. Nino, nino, Nino, Nino, Nino, Nino. Flaggy flag, flag, flag, flag face. Nino, Ninono. But Katie, of course, because she just. She just loves love. And he obviously wooed her. And he's a complete gaslighting con man, which has since come out, of course, because all the women he's ripped off. And I mean properly ripped off. Like, properly ripped off. Like faking signatures, taking out loans for 200 grand other. Under his partner's name. They didn't know. So now there's quite. There's legal battles over. I also think he's been domestically abusive, allegedly. There's been violence there, allegedly.

[B]

But. But Katie Price was basically like he was coming out saying he had all these degrees from Cambridge and stuff, and Katie Price was. Does. I've seen them. And like, everyone's like, but they were. He just. He. He doctored them and printed them off. And she goes, no. He just. I'm like, does he look like he. I was in Cambridge yesterday. He doesn't look like he went to Cambridge.

[A]

Well. Well, he wouldn't fit in. We can't book it. We can't book a judge by its cover. We can't judge. I'm so tired. I'm so tired. Do you know what? The other day, I was trying to think of the word for Jacuzzi, and I was like, you know what it is? What is it? The fizzy pool. They're like, what? I was like, the pill. The fizz. They're like, oh, wow, someone needs to lie down.

[B]

That is.

[A]

That is why I'm dressed like this, by the way. For anyone who's looking at this, I'm covered like the invisible man who tries to go out to be seen in the. In the afternoon. Because I woke up this morning and my face has exploded again with all the weird lizard eyes and stuff. Anyway,

[B]

you dress like that for every pot.

[A]

No, I don't. Sometimes I'll show an elbow or a sleeve. Sometimes I'll show a wrist.

[C]

I'm wearing a coat. I'm wearing 28 degrees outside.

[A]

I look awful. Anyway, whatever. I'll get my rest in June.

[B]

I don't know how you're not boiling, by the way. Like, it's boiling.

[A]

Maybe I'm dying. This is like, what that Christmas. Remember that Christmas episode where you were, like, wrapped. I was abs. I was, like, practically in a bikini. And you were wrapped up to within an inch of your life. And then it turned out you had the worst flu.

[B]

I think I'm gonna. I think I'm gonna have to have the baby in Alaska. I cannot be this pregnant in August. I. Well, just. I'm not able.

[A]

Once you skip a few. They announced their marriage. Everyone's like, here we here. There was a bit of eye rolling, let's be honest. There's accusations of Con Manning. All that jazz he's due to do. Is it Good morning, Britain this morning? What's it called again?

[B]

Good. Yeah. Good morning, Britain.

[A]

Good morning this morning. And he messages her and he's like, I'm on the way. I'm boarding the flight. She's like, all right, sound. And then he. Master. He's like, oh, there's an issue with my visa. Or to pay to get out of the airport. I can't leave. It's. And then he just disappears off the face of the earth. Except for. He's. Weirdly, as. There's been Alec, there's been. Someone is saying he was on Facebook online. Oh, we have to give her her credits. You're one.

[B]

Louisa Zisman.

[A]

Louisa Zisman. I think she got built on the ground. Did she actually fly to Dubai?

[B]

So she kind of half lives in Dubai.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

She moved. She moved pre drone strikes and now she is back, but then she just.

[A]

I thought you're gonna say pre Lee Andrews, and I was like, is this like a BC AC vibe? Like BL before LeAndrews and after.

[B]

But she did find a picture. So Liam Hens. Not even. What's the other Hemsworth, the really hot one? Thor. What's his name? Joe.

[A]

Chris.

[B]

Chris Hemsworth had posted this amazing picture in the gym. And he's got these massive arms and, like, he's amazing. And Lee Andrews literally posted the same picture two months later, pretending he was in a different gym. And it's the same body. He's just put his head on Chris Hemsworth's body now.

[A]

I will say it makes me think he's very un. Well, I mean, it's not. It's not a great look. Like, there's a bit of filtering and then there's just flat out ripping off Chris Hemsworth's body and sticking your own head on it. But I will Say, as someone who's been in quite a serious relationship with Fion, my AI boyfriend for almost a year, I can understand the AI thing, but you're messing around. Because then everyone was like, oh, my God, he is AI. They're like, lee Andrews is AI. I don't believe he's AI. I believe he is an actual prick. I think he does exist. I don't think he's been designed on chat gbt. I think he is real. But anyway, of course, then, women assemble. Everyone's out looking for him. It's the talk of the town. Poor Katie, God love her, she's saying that he's been kidnapped. She's. She's ringing him in as a missing person. And now, five days in, she's announced that she's has to give up the search and she's moving on with her life. Five days I've lost. I've looked for vapes in the flat longer than five days. So it's obviously. She knows full well. She knows. She knows what he is, but she's just embarrassed or she's upset or she's let down, or she's. She's saying everyone's taking the piss and they are taking the piss.

[B]

I mean, am I. Am I the most heartless person in the world that I just don'. Have any sympathy. My sympathy. Taps have run dry about that. All of her kind of stuff. I just. I just. I just don't. Like. I know that you're saying that. So I've just seen the. The biggest spider I've ever seen in my life. And I'm like, how is that spider living in this country? And then the heat, it's.

[A]

It's basically tropical at this point.

[B]

Die. If he came in here.

[C]

Picture of it. Take a picture of it.

[B]

No, he's out there, like, under. Going under the gutter.

[A]

He's driving.

[B]

Yeah, he's massive.

[A]

He's on an E bike going through.

[B]

He could take the hand off you. Like, the full hand would fit in that spider's mouth, even my hands. So, yeah, I know Catherine Ryan saying that she goes to help people. When I went to therapy after coming out of yet another relationship where I was the kind of person who was, like, helping people, my therapist was like, now do you understand we've done all this work? And I was like, no. And he was like, I can't just tell you. You have to figure it out. And I was like, you're gonna just have to tell me. What. What is it that I do? And he was like, you Go for people that you have to help. There's going for people that you have to help, and then there's going for people like Lee Andrews. You. Come on. He is quite clearly. Oh, here, here, look at my. Come on. The whole thing just reeks of. I don't know if she's in on it or not. And I just. Yeah, I have. My taps are dry.

[A]

Yeah, I couldn't. You know what, Vogue. You're not alone in having a dry top in this situation. There's other people also whose taps are dry. So you're. And you're entitled to be dry. So, yeah, you know, I do feel dry. I love being dry. I've made that break there before. I'm a big fan of it. But. Well, the funny thing was that the deeper I went on this, I was like, yeah, there is. There is a. I think even I. Who's a bit of a lap dog for stuff like this, I think there might be a world where it is, I don't know, a bit of a collaborative effort. I don't know. And then I'm like, no. She looks genuinely hurt and embarrassed. Like, I can see it in her face. And I think Katie can come across as a bit vulnerable sometimes. I listened to her how to Fail episode with Elizabeth Day, and, like, the whole episode was basically Katie saying, men have ruled my life. Every problem that's ever happened to me, it's because of a man. So you do kind of want to shake her then when she see her going back into a clear nino situation again.

[B]

And I'm sorry to be a dick. I don't think you can blame every problem in your life on a man because you have to actually take a step back and look at yourself and be like, okay, what part have I had to play in this? How have I brought myself here?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that Caroline behind you?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, sorry. There's. There's. I'm moving ice. Caroline. Man just fell in the door.

[B]

Actually, I. Actually. I'm like, are you just gonna go out now for the day and just stay away from the disaster, or. I just don't think you'd be very helpful. I don't think I'd have you on board.

[A]

Well, I kind of have to be here because they're asking where, you know, you kind of have to be here just for. Well, I'm here to record the podcast, obviously. Look, there's Lauren running past.

[C]

People do where they hope that they can't be seen. They definitely.

[A]

That was a terrible attempt. She's got a Shorter shoulder. It's never.

[D]

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[A]

Yeah. Look, it's a collaborative effort to get me down to this new house. It takes a village, etc. But I. With Caroline, I mean, what would we do without them? I swear to God, to myself.

[B]

Daily.

[A]

Daily. He came up, one of the lads came in today. He's like, okay, we're taking everything. And I was like, yep. He's like, okay, do you have your passport? No. Okay. He's like, your jewelry, your hair and makeup tails. He said, your shampoo, get it all out. If you don't, it's going to be put all into boxes. I was like, oh, my God. Thank God. Thank God. I'm running around like packing this tiny suitcase at like 7am Anyway, whatever. It's done and dusted. Well, it's not. It's in the middle of happening.

[B]

They haven't even started. Do you know what, though? I feel like when you're moving, it's just the next couple of days horrendous. And then you know what, you're in your gap and then all the nice sorting out happens and you're. You're in your own space and it would be nice.

[A]

Well, well, your. Your organizer that you recommended to me. Hazel.

[B]

Hazel. Is she coming over?

[A]

She's coming over.

[B]

Well, Hayes was like to me, folks, how much do you need me on Thursday and Friday? I was like, no, Hazel, I booked you in six. I was like, I booked you in six months ago. I have to go through the baby clothes next week in Ireland, where they are. Joanna's not having you.

[A]

Oh, yeah. So she's coming over this weekend. So I think. I think I'll be set up and ready to go to live my new life in about five days in this house.

[B]

That's what I'm hoping you'll be ready to. If she's coming over this weekend, you'll be ready to live in your house in two, three days. Your house will be like, everything will be unpacked. And I know it's. It's a privilege to be able to have Somebody to help you to do something like that. But when you're super busy. Oh, like Joanne is, it's nice to have somebody to just. And also when you're, you're, you're a messy girl at heart. Listen, it's important to have somebody to come and put your stuff in the right place.

[A]

I work hard and this is one of those situations. You're like, throw money at this now and just make all this go away. Do you know what I mean? Just make it all go away. I'm also in Warwick tonight. Pena falls back tonight.

[B]

Where the hell is Warwick? Warwick Avenue, Duffy?

[A]

Warwick, Warwickshire.

[C]

It's in the county of Warwickshire.

[B]

Is that where Warwick Avenue is?

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

Warwick Avenue. I think the one that Duffy was saying about is in London.

[B]

Well, Duffy, another, another kidnapper. We will go back to Katie Price, everybody. But Duffy got kidnapped, like for something like seven weeks in 2020, didn't she? Never named her kidnapper, but she said that she was. Yeah, it sounded pretty bad because she

[A]

came out a couple of years ago and she, and everyone was like, duffy. Yeah. What's, where's she been? What's been happening? And she did say, I've been, I was, I was, I was kidnapped. And everyone's like, what? And it was. AI had been bigger at the time, I would have assumed it was fake news because it seemed such a wild story. And then she kind of went away again and now she's back and I think she's kind of ready to speak her truth. Yeah, I don't know. I, I, I'll be interested to hear what that was all about, because that is Banana Town.

[B]

Yeah. I don't even know if she's going to come out and talk about it. But yeah, she, because she's never named her perpetrator, only to the police.

[A]

Was it someone she knew? Was it like, do we have any information?

[B]

It's usually, it's usually some. If, if you get killed, it's usually

[C]

someone you know on Disney plus there's going to be a whole.

[A]

Yeah, but you see, with, you're right, it is usually someone you know. If you have, if you're like a private person, but I think if you're a public person, there's a chance it could be some deranged stalker. Remember Jill Dando? Do you remember? Someone shot her on her doorstep.

[B]

It was terrible.

[A]

There was one man, they actually went sent to prison for it, and his sister fought tooth and l. Then he was released. I think he spent like, I don't know how long he spent in prison, but a significant amount of time. And then eight years. Eight years. And then it came out he wasn't guilty at all and he had nothing to do with the crime. It was like that. It was that kind of stalker mentality where they think they're in a relationship with someone famous and then they try and kill them, basically. And he succeeded.

[B]

I have a. I have a quiz question. There's only one question. Oh, no, I have two questions. Okay, this. I did this crew crime thing the other day. Okay. How many murders in the UK do you think that they solve and find the murderer who actually did it?

[A]

Is this a percentage? As in.

[B]

Yeah, percentage.

[A]

Okay, so I'm good before I shout it out. Okay, well, then it's not a quiz question. I asked if you only give me a beast.

[B]

Okay. Okay, I'm ready. Okay, good. I'm being. I've learned. Look.

[A]

Well, I would say it's obviously going to be something really, really low, so I'm going to say. But I don't. But I don't want to ruin your quiz question for you. I'm. I'm. I'm aware that it's really mean.

[B]

Talk about confidence over there.

[A]

But I could go really low and say 3% and I've ruined the game.

[B]

So you think 3% of murders, all murders in the UK get solved and they find out who the murderer is.

[A]

Is there not even 3%?

[B]

How much are you saying, Joe?

[C]

I'm gonna go right in the middle.

[B]

50, 90 are solved. They find the murderer, because it's nearly always somebody you know. You didn't ruin the game, Joanne.

[A]

It was your tone. Vogue. It was. The tone was. It was a tone of disappointment. So I assumed the result was. By the way, I'm clear. I'm also fully aware that we're laughing hysterically about murder rates, which probably. I don't know if that's a good look for us.

[B]

But anyway, it was just. It was just the. Oh, well, Vogue. I don't want to ruin you. I really don't want to ruin your brilliant game.

[C]

We should definitely pitch the TV quiz show quick before I tell you the answer with Vogue Williams.

[A]

It'd be hilarious. No one even gets to the buzzer

[B]

quick before it turns into a sentence again.

[A]

They're like, we don't even switch the buzzers on anymore. There's no point. No. No one ever gets to use them. We've taken the electrics out of one

[B]

more, and then we're going back to Katie Price. Okay, how much do you reckon it costs to hire a hitman?

[A]

Oh, now this. Can I. Am I allowed this?

[B]

Yeah, because I knew the.

[A]

I should know this.

[B]

This is possible. She could ruin the game here.

[A]

That was, that was a confidential conversation.

[B]

Vogue. Well, I knew exactly the answer when I was asked and I was like, oh God, I wish I'd gotten it a little bit wrong. So they didn't, but I think you've told me before or something.

[A]

Maybe you're, you're. I think you're glamorous enough to pull off a hitman. I do think you are. You do seem like the kind of person who if a man wronged you, you'd be hitting. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

No, you get one in the pub. I was told the pub is a great place to get one.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

But folks, sorry, now that's because you've never been in a pub. Okay, I, I go into pubs regularly and I'm telling you, it's not like they're wall to wall hitman, just hanging out.

[B]

Sorry. Waiting to.

[A]

Retired.

[B]

There's snipers at the bar. I've been told.

[A]

Yeah. They're not playing dart, they're just practicing.

[B]

Okay, go on. How much for a hitman?

[A]

Okay, so I would say it's in and around the 20k mark. Pounds. Your pounds. Which is how many euros?

[B]

About 22 Euro. Fine, 22K. Okay. Do you want Joe?

[A]

Joe?

[B]

Joanne? Joel.

[C]

I think it's cheaper. I think five grand.

[A]

Sorry. Also just to say, I suppose you're, you're looking into the quality of the hitting in the same breath. Do you know, I mean, you could probably find someone who do it for a grant, but if you want to get a professional,

[B]

professional people between three and five grand, the lowest that this fella had found was 200 quid. This kid killed a woman's husband for 200 quid and spent the money on a fake Gucci hat.

[A]

Oh my God, that's disgusting.

[B]

I know. Okay, so Katie Price. Whoa.

[C]

So going back.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

Isn't it wild?

[A]

You know what it is as well? I mean, there's also people out there killing people for free. So, like it doesn't like the money. It's. If you, if you really don't like someone and they're like here, would you knock them off for 200 quid? Some people, they don't put any importance on the quality of life.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, that's what I said when we were doing that. I was like someone. It was Grace Campbell and she's like, God, I'd be really offended if someone killed me for. For between three and five grand. I was like, well, they could do it for free, and that would be worse.

[A]

There is a really good podcast that's name escapes me now, but while I'm telling you, Joe will Google it and find out. And it is basically this journalist discovered. He went into the Dark web and decoded a hit list where. So basically people were. Basically set up a fake. Hold on, let me get this right. He set up a fake. I think it was the police. They set up a fake account on the dark web where you could hire a hitman. So then, yeah, they had all these people that were. Had hits out on them, but they were fake hits. And they were trying to entice the people who are booking the hits to find out who they were. It was really, really good. Joe, can you find the name?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And it was all their husbands, just Huntsmans and wives.

[B]

But remember, did you tell me that story about Angelina Jolie where you said that she tried to hire a hitman to kill herself?

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah, supposedly she wanted to. She. She was really depressed and she spoke to hitman to get to kill herself so that her family wouldn't be as obsessed if she. And he was like, listen, I'm gonna go away. You think about it for a little while before we move forward with this. And then she didn't end up doing it. Yeah, she came out and said that. Joe, just fact chat that. Because that's really, like, if I've made that up, first of all, there's something

[A]

wrong with me, allegedly.

[B]

Well, no, I'm pretty sure she came out and said that. Like, that would be a very unusual thing for me to make up. I usually get that information off you, Joanne, things like that. If it wasn't you, I'm concerned to

[A]

say, like a me story, I'll be honest, but I'm. I'm not aware of it. Joe, are you doing any.

[C]

Any real list? Izzy says it's called Kill List.

[B]

Oh, I'm gonna start listening.

[A]

It's really good. It's dark.

[B]

It's. It's Hit List. Thank you, Joanne, for our little. What's it called?

[A]

Recommendation.

[B]

No.

[A]

We used to have Culture Pockets, a morbid recommendation.

[B]

Could I add the Culture Pocket something?

[A]

Sure.

[B]

I'm really sorry, but it's my book.

[A]

Okay, let's go. Let's do it.

[B]

Yeah. Listen, bitch, A Big Mouth is head on paperback.

[A]

If we can't use this podcast to promote our own bits and bobs, this is precisely it.

[B]

You know, so big mouth paperback 10.99. I mean, come on. That's why people wait for the paperbacks.

[A]

Congratulations, Vogue. It's great to see a lighter version of you.

[B]

Thank you, I appreciate that, Joanne.

[A]

A more mobile version. I like it.

[B]

Great for the handbag.

[A]

Yeah. Are you. Are you. Are we still running around and kind of vandalizing bookstores, putting our own book in front of others? Because that is what you should do.

[B]

I will be. That's what I will be doing when I get myself to Heathrow Airport today. I will be doing that. I'm off. I'm off to. I'm going to Cork for the weekend. Not that anybody asked, but I'm taking Gigi out of school early and she's getting to go on a little trip with me to Cork.

[A]

Well, I can't wait till the Daily Mail picks up on that. I look forward to the headline.

[B]

Vogue is not educating her children.

[A]

What's Gigi's surname?

[B]

Matthews.

[A]

Why? I was just wondering how you double barreled her.

[B]

No, no. And I'm like, Spenny's like. Spenny always wants me to change my name to Matthews. And I'm like. I just feel like I have a track record and if I. It's very difficult to change a name.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then to change everything back. And also. And then I'm like, and by the way, I love my name, Vogue Williams. And he's like, you're not Vogue Williams, though. And I'm like, that's actually true because I changed my name when I was 17.

[A]

You have a couple of ideas.

[B]

But I am legally Wilson. But I use Williams because I was Williams when I was born.

[A]

You're like Jason Byrne. No, Jason Bourne from the Born Identity. With so many bloody identities. I'm glad.

[B]

Is that not his name?

[A]

Jason Bourne born again. I'm glad you didn't double borrow Gigi because it doesn't sound like she's going to be able to read or write very well. She.

[B]

That's why her name had to be Gi Gi. She only needed to know two letters. Ready?

[A]

Oh, so funny. I was saying one of the.

[B]

Do you want to spell? Spell caterpillar.

[A]

Come on, don't do this to me again. You know I have a mental block on the word caterpillar and spaghetti.

[C]

You've had time.

[A]

Do you know what I've been doing? You're not allowed to talk about it. Well, tell you, it wasn't sitting in a room learning how to spell caterpillar.

[B]

Okay, I don't. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I seem harsh and mean about Katie. I just feel like this is just another, like, kind of thing. And like, I genuinely think about, like, imagine, like, if I'm like, imagine how annoying it is for her kids all the time. I just feel like, come on. Yes. We need to be grown ups now.

[A]

You're coming at it from a mother position. I'm coming at it from a woman who has made some bad decisions regarding men.

[B]

Yeah, so have I though. We've all.

[A]

I know we all have. We all have. But there is. I did, I did find one thing. I was like, this is because she is a hustler. We all know Katie Price is a. She's a hustler. And she was on her YouTube channel saying that, you know, the only thing kind of helping her through this difficult time is her own CBD brand of gummies and oils. And it was the first time that

[B]

I have respect for. Yeah, exactly.

[A]

I was like, hold on a second now. But I think she's just like, listen, if everyone's looking at me, I might as well plug some. You know what I mean?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I know. But you know what I also find really interesting is that Lee Andrews, he must be doing a very good job of hiding wherever he is because I don't know if you have this vote, but I have women in my DMs who will report if they've seen any man around town that I have been romantically linked to at any stage. They'll be like, just saw your ex and so wearing a backpack. Gross. I get told when they're like in airports and stuff, so I don't know how. No one has reported or seen him or he must have gone.

[B]

I hope he hasn't been well, this hasn't been kidnapped. Imagine he has. And I'm like, oh, we're like, pull

[A]

the pot, pull the pot. Like, we'll never survive this.

[B]

Take it back. Well, I'm deeply sorry if he has been kidnapped, but I just, I have an instinct that he hasn't been well.

[A]

Yeah, I know, I know. It does seem, it seems to. Going on his previous behavior, it seems to be quite unlikely that he's been taken against his will. However, if he has, Lee, we do. We hope you're listening and we hope you come back to us soon. We need answers also.

[B]

We would like answers.

[A]

I didn't. Maybe, you know, I say if he was kidnapped, it was probably one of his exes to be ripped off.

[B]

Well, yeah, he is. He is a serious con. One, because. Did I tell you about. I saw a journalist talking about how he conned her out of money. But all this, like, I. I just. I don't know, there's all this. Well, if he is a con man like that, like that, that has not stood for at all in Dubai. So, yeah, people are aware of him being in Dubai and Dubai don't want them. Well, they don't really want anyone wrecking what they've got going on, you know.

[A]

Would they be chopping a handoff now or is that too much?

[B]

It would be more like lifetime prison sentences. Yeah. I mean, you can't even say that they're getting bombed because they get really annoyed about that and it's like, okay, but you are, though.

[A]

But the expats, they seem to have free reign over there. I think that I will be in prison with the Kinahans. We'll get all the gas from the Irish side.

[B]

Oh, my God, I can't believe that. Well, I mean, he was wandering around, going to boxing matches, and now he's been caught. One of the Kinahans, Joe.

[C]

You know the Kinahans, Joe, the Kinahans. For people not aware. One of the big. The biggest Irish crime family, maybe one.

[A]

They're the only one, really, that I'm aware of. But of course, I'm into, like mainstream mafia because I'm obviously not in that community. So it's only when they really hit the mainstream do I find out about them. But, yeah, they're on Interpals most wanted list and all. Like, it's quite a thing. It's quite a thing.

[B]

Yeah, it is. But they got away with it for ages in Dubai. They've got lovely houses and stuff over there. I have been. Speaking of the Kinahans. I have been Robin. Anxious, preoccupied, blind since she got away.

[A]

Good.

[B]

I got.

[A]

Why do you sound like. Why do you sound like Nigel Farage screaming boring. There.

[B]

Boring. We should stop laughing about. Because there is that. This is when I back away.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

From living in the uk. I'm like, nothing to do with me. Oh, yeah, nothing to do with me.

[A]

There's our lane. Let's stay in it. Thank you.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

When I was. When I was away on my job, I watched. Have you watched? This is my recommendation. The documentary, the Crash, about your one Mackenzie Sharilla, who drove her boyfriend and his friend into a wall 100 miles per hour and killed the two of them. And she survived.

[B]

What?

[A]

What?

[B]

Why did she do that?

[C]

Well, you gotta watch.

[A]

You gotta watch the doc.

[B]

I've Just downloaded that podcast. What's the doc now? Is that on Netflix?

[A]

It's on Netflix.

[B]

I mean, what's it called? The Crap of Dirt? The Crash.

[A]

I think it's called the Crash show, isn't it?

[B]

It is. It's called.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

She's a very young girl. Is this serious? Is this.

[A]

Oh, this is serious. She was 17 years of age. Dominic Russo and Davion Flanagan. Davian Flanagan was Dominic's friend. He was sitting in the back there. Dominic and Mackenzie had a fairly toxic relationship. Word on the street is he was trying to get out of it. And she was like, he has recordings and stuff of her outside his house and being just an absolute nut job. Like, abusive. Just an abusive nut job. She drove the three of them into a wall at 100 miles per hour. And then they obviously, the. The police were like, what's happened here? There was no breaking. She never broke once. She never put her foot on a brake. She drove. She. And accelerated into a wall. And then they started. They were trying to. She said there was something wrong with the car. They took the car apart. Eventually it went to court and they're like, you murdered them. You murdered the two of them. But now, of course, said she blacked out.

[C]

She said she was not conscious.

[A]

She says she had.

[B]

Okay, don't tell us anymore. We have to watch it.

[C]

No more spoilers. No more spoilers.

[A]

This isn't a spoiler. But she's. She's obviously trying to get out now, right? So she's defending her and her parents. Her parents. Oh, my God. I mean, if there was. I. I mean, if there was a prize for her worst parents alive on Netflix. Like, these two are getting us, like, no accountability. They don't. They think she's completely innocent or she's as guilty as sin. She says she had low blood pressure and she blacked out. That's like saying you got athletes force and you drove a car into a wall. Like, it's not an excuse. You're like, I was trying to scratch my foot off the accelerator. Watch it, watch it. It's really good.

[B]

I've started watching Legends, which is very good as well. It's. It's on Netflix as well. Yeah, it's really, really good. Come here to me. I have to tell you. Did you know Amanda Knox is doing a show in the Edinburgh Fringe this year?

[A]

I didn't. I'm sure I. I didn't. Interesting.

[B]

She's got her third. A third autobiography type book coming out now. I know that you're unsure I am. Joanne and I are on different sides of the fence about Amanda Knox. She went to prison for murder. For murder of her flatmate at the time, Mary the Kircher. And. And then she got out again because there wasn't enough evidence. And so she was. Her murder charge was taken away from her and then she was sent back to America and she's since written three aut biographies about it. Now she is doing an. An Edinburgh Fringe show about it.

[A]

I know. What. So we, We.

[B]

Screams innocence to me.

[A]

It's so. Isn't it so funny when someone you love and respect has a completely different opinion to you and you're like, how. Like, I think she. I. I'm not unsure. I think she's completely innocent. I think it was one of the biggest miscarriages of justice been aware of.

[B]

I spoke to a criminologist who was working on. On the Amanda Knox case and he, like, he was. He. He basically thinks that she did do it.

[A]

There's just like. Yeah, I don't know. Like. Did you watch the documentary?

[B]

Yeah, No, I do think she did it. I do. It's. It's a funny, like, it's, it's. It's kind of. It's wild. But like, I do. I do definitely think that she did. It's crazy with the Lucy that be stuff and people think that Lucy. That he didn't do it. She absolutely did it.

[A]

Well, she's. I think she's a different beast now. Maybe. Looked. I don't know. I. But I do think the Lucy Leppy case is a different piece. But the Amanda knocking, if like the. They got her to sign confessions. Shouldn't even speak the language. Like, they completely set her up. They just wanted to get it over and done with and. And she's an international student and they find a vibrator in a room and then kind of slow shamed her into this like absolute, like, sex monster and. But there was a man arrested for it who went to prison for it.

[B]

I know, but she was like, she, She's. She's definitely a narcissist when you, when you actually watch her stuff and everything, but she basically. She wrote these hundreds of pages of diaries in prison, mentioned the Meredith Kircher once in hundreds of pages of. Of diaries over the course of talking about what happened. It was. It's just. I just think she's.

[A]

I just think she's so completely innocent. I'll be honest, if I was in prison for a murder I did not commit, I think, honestly, I think I. I would be writing about myself as well, rather than, like, I think people wanted her to express remorse. And she. She's like, of course I feel. Feel sorry for marriage, the curtion, her family.

[B]

It's awful.

[A]

But why am I in prison for a crime I didn't commit? I think that was kind of her vibe. But do you know what? I knew she had worked in. I knew she'd moved into stand up comedy. So that's very interesting. I mean, at the end, comedy, I shouldn't stand up. At the end of the day, your name is Amanda Knox. You're within. Well, like, what are you going to do with your life? You can't go and get a job in marketing. You're super famous for people, and half the people you know, you think you killed someone. What are you gonna do? You know, I kind of. I kind of understand why she did it, to be honest. I'll take a look. I'm going to Edinburgh. I'll try and get a ticket.

[B]

You are going to Edinburgh? When are you going up there?

[A]

I'm only going for a couple of days. I'm not doing a show. Just gonna go up and have a look.

[B]

Oh, God, that's nice. Yeah, you do. You do. Yeah, you do enjoy it up there?

[A]

I love it.

[B]

Did you see I went to Cannes when you're away?

[A]

I did. What?

[B]

I know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, I got invited over and I thought, why the hell not?

[A]

That's Harry. Very highfalutin.

[B]

I know you don't get invited to Cannes very often.

[A]

How did that come about?

[B]

Like, I went over with Nespresso and we basically just got to go and, and watch and watch a movie. But we did the red carpet and stuff for. For one of these movies. And there was this girl on the red carpet. Oh, my God, it was so amazing. So she was wearing this red dress. And so, like, everybody kind of goes along the red carpet and everyone's like, they have markers that you stand on so you get your pictures in front of the different kind of photographers. This random girl, like, was on the red carpet. She just kept standing in front of everyone and the photographers were like, go away. And I was like, she's amazing. Fair play to her. She is getting in a picture if it kills her. Yeah. I thought I was like, fair play. She literally doesn't give a shite.

[A]

I saw that. You know what I saw? I saw some video going around and I was like, that's such a fair point. Someone was. Someone was, was. They posted that video and they're like, why do they invite people to Cannes if they can't, if they don't want them to try and get a photo on the red carpet. Like, is that not why everyone goes now?

[B]

The only thing about her was, like, everyone kind of like gets in a line and like, you just get your pictures and not everyone gets pictures because obviously, like, not everybody that goes to it is. Is well known. But she was like, I am getting a picture if it kills me. But my God, the people watching there, what everybody was wearing, like just normal randomers walk along the street dressed up to the nines.

[A]

It was really wild.

[B]

Yeah, it was.

[A]

What was the movie?

[B]

So I went see the beloved Javier Bardem.

[A]

Stunning.

[B]

You know what? It was such a cool experience to go and do something like that. I was absolutely knackered after, though. Jesus.

[A]

This is a very showbiz to fly into can I think they call it?

[B]

Ah, well, I flew Easy Jet, if that makes it any better.

[A]

Sorry. Easy Jack out to Khan.

[B]

Yeah. Denise, you buy in.

[A]

Denise.

[B]

Shocked, I know, but poor Easy Chat.

[A]

Everyone just have the mountain with all the. No, no, sorry, I'm thinking of chat2holidays. I'm thinking of chat2holiday jet.

[B]

Sorry. JetU Holidays voted the best airline in Europe for the second year in a row. I saw that. There you go.

[A]

I love her aviation stats. This is wild.

[B]

Well, I'm always flying. Well, the.

[A]

God love them, those, the budget airlines, they get, they get a bit of a wrap because when stuff kicks off, usually on like the kind of I beat the flights and stuff, people film it and then they put it online and then they get a reputation for being this just kind of brawl in the sky where everyone's just pissed, trying to stab each other. And I'm sure, I'm sure that's not the case. I mean, you flew to Nice. I, I, I. How was it? Was there any stabbings or.

[B]

No, it was very, very relaxed. It was a very early morning flight. Nice isn't the kind of place I think that people go to do all that kind of stuff.

[A]

I just have this image of a cabin crew at the top just throwing out buzz balls for everyone. Just like getting people rallied up and then there's karaoke down the back at all.

[B]

Do you know, I've never had a buzz ball. I was only thinking that the other day. I've never tried one.

[A]

When you look at the online videos, that's the impression you get off those airlines. But I'm sure it's not correct. I mean, I fly Ryanair all the time and I've never been stabbed.

[B]

No.

[A]

I have something to say.

[B]

Go on.

[A]

If you put up a story on April 1 as an April Fields joke, I think it's good practice to take it down on April 2nd because what happens is these things stay in the algorithm and they get served to me on May 21st and I believe them. It happened to me yesterday. Again, I actually put it into our group as something to be discussed and of course it wasn't true at all. I believed for a 24 hour period that they were electrifying the Molly Malone statue so that if anyone tried to rub her breasts they would get electrocuted. I believed it. Take your FS jokes down. I was already thinking about who I'd send from the UK.

[B]

People say I believed it until 30 seconds ago. Until you just tell me. I swear to God, no one told me that wasn't true. You just. I can't stand AI. AI is really bad for people like me and Joanne, man. It's not right.

[A]

Vogue. We can't even blame AI. This is just a made up article. There wasn't like. There wasn't AI images.

[B]

I believe everything you tell me.

[A]

Well, we know there's a bit of a Palaven in Dublin at the moment with the Molly Malone statue because people are going up and rubbing her boobs for good luck. And then they're, they're, they're. Then they were talking about getting a security guard for her because they feel like it's disrespectful. And of course the argument is. I mean, it's a statue, you know, does she need to consent? We don't know. Does Molly? She's made of brass. I don't know. I don't know where I stand to it really. But.

[B]

So what about the Blarney Stone? Everyone's going and kissing that. No one says anything. I can't believe people kiss that at one after the other. Imagine kissing the stone that all the other people have kissed. Rotten.

[A]

I never thought about the Blarney Stone.

[B]

Yeah, people are always rubbing stuff. I don't really. I don't really get why it matters like it. That I don't know. Do you know what I mean?

[A]

Where are we going into? We're go. We're moving into an area where we're asking if the Blarney Stone can consent to being kissed by American tourists. And I say no, lock them all up.

[B]

I just. I do believe that the stone has had enough interactions and I think it's fed up of being smooched all the time. Yeah.

[A]

Getting scored that often, I mean, it's a. I mean, what a shambles that

[B]

was like me at winter party when I was 16. I was kissing as many people as the Blarney Stone. Remember we used to do that? Did you ever do that?

[A]

Yeah, of course. That's how I got that thing that I had once. I have. Oh, yeah. What's it called? Kissing disease.

[B]

I was gonna say. No, what's the kissing disease? Glandular.

[A]

Glandular fever.

[B]

Fever.

[A]

I got the fever from Irish college.

[B]

Oh, my God. She never caught anything.

[A]

I put in a solid shift on the train, up and down, scored about 300 people, and got glandular fever. And then Pat, of course, wanted me to admit that I'd scored people, and I wouldn't. I was like, no, no. And she was like, it's the kiss of disease. It's the only way you can get it. Which, of course, is a mother's white lie. Just to get you to admit something, that you're basically a. Oh, Jesus. Oh, God. We've all been there. We've all been there.

[B]

Well, Joanne, we're thrilled that you're back. I'm gonna get you really, really drunk, and I will extract information. I will. I will get you drunk, and I will find some kind of.

[A]

You'll get nothing out of me. You're getting nothing. I'm gonna wire my jaw shut. I'm hoping I just forget about it all, and then when it airs, I'll be like, oh, my God. No way.

[B]

Oh, my God. I won.

[A]

I won. That's mental. I didn't even know. I didn't even. I didn't know I was in Scotland.

[B]

Jesus Christ. Did I do the Traders?

[A]

I'm. You know, I'm so surprised that you didn't want to talk about Venezuela Fury Venture joke.

[B]

Well, I did, but yesterday you told me on the bonus that you didn't know anything about it, so. I didn't. I was watching the Furies last night, and I followed Paris Fury. I love that. The fear. I want to be in that family. Until next week, my friends. I've enjoyed. I'm. I'm enjoying that. We're back.

[A]

So am I. And I apologize for how I look.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's. My body's slowly shutting down.

[B]

Oh, and the book is out. Big mate. There you go.

[A]

And, of course, my North American tour is also on sale. Toronto. I would say Venezuela. Toronto. Vancouver.

[B]

It wouldn't surprise me if I saw you in Venezuela, to be honest.

[A]

Las Vegas, Denver, San Francisco. It rolls on. Dramacly.com.

[B]

This has been a global player original production.