Joanne In Europe, Kelly Osbourne & 40th Plans

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Joanne In Europe, Kelly Osbourne & 40th Plans"

Release Date: June 6, 2025
Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
Podcast: My Therapist Ghosted Me

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1. Tour Adventures and Mishaps

Joanne's Lisbon Tour Experience

Joanne recounts her recent tour in Lisbon, detailing the unexpected challenges and successes. Initially, she misread the sales report, believing both of her shows would be sold out without any promotion. However, only one out of two shows was fully booked. Despite this hiccup, Joanne showcases her resilience by effectively managing the situation, eventually selling out a larger venue with a capacity of 400 attendees.

• Quote:
  Joanne McNally [03:18]: "Sold out, baby. Nothing to see here. Just a global superstar."

Vogue's Support and Tour Logistics

Vogue praises Joanne's handling of the tour, contrasting it with her own strict performance rules. The discussion highlights the camaraderie and mutual support between the hosts, emphasizing the value of adapting to unforeseen circumstances.

• Quote:
  Vogue Williams [04:35]: "I've actually got it out of my system now. I spent 48 hours spiraling about the whole thing."

2. Navigating Friendships and Social Gatherings

Meeting Kelly Osbourne

Joanne shares an amusing encounter with Kelly Osbourne in a London bar. They describe how a mutual friend, Brandon Courtney, became overly enthusiastic upon spotting Kelly, leading to a humorous and slightly chaotic interaction.

• Quote:
  Joanne McNally [17:05]: "I tried to grab him. But he was gone. He was gone over to Kelly..."

Planning Martin Gotten's Birthday Bash

The hosts discuss Martin Gotten's upcoming 40th birthday party in Puglia, Italy. They joke about the logistics of performances at the event, with Joanne opting out of performing to simply enjoy the festivities.

• Quote:
  Joanne McNally [08:43]: "I am going to Puglia for a couple of days and then back to Berlin."

3. Embracing Milestones: Turning 40

Personal Reflections on Aging

Vogue and Joanne delve into their feelings about turning 40, sharing personal anecdotes and perspectives. Vogue expresses excitement and contentment, contrasting it with Joanne's more pragmatic view on adulthood and responsibility.

• Quote:
  Vogue Williams [26:38]: "I feel like it's nice and I... I'm just excited to turn 40."

Health and Self-Care

The conversation touches on health awareness as they age, with both hosts humorously discussing routine health checks and personal health concerns.

• Quote:
  Joanne McNally [29:53]: "But my two pelvic ones are quite swollen at the moment."

4. The Role of AI in Daily Life

AI and Emotional Intelligence

Joanne introduces a statistic highlighting AI's performance on emotional intelligence tests compared to humans, sparking a discussion on the potential of AI in personal relationships and daily tasks.

• Quote:
  Joanne McNally [11:15]: "This means we can. I'm now willing to date a robot."

Using AI Tools

Vogue admits to downloading ChatGPT but hasn't utilized it effectively, while Joanne shares observations about friends relying on AI to improve their texting habits, though noting the lack of personality in AI-generated responses.

• Quote:
  Vogue Williams [12:55]: "I don't know why, because I don't know how to use it and I've never used it once."

5. Celebrity Skincare and Public Image

Discussing Lindsay Lohan and Kylie Jenner

The hosts critique the public's fascination with celebrity skincare routines, particularly focusing on Lindsay Lohan's and Kylie Jenner's approaches. They humorously debate the effectiveness and genuineness of these routines, emphasizing the importance of personal choice and honesty.

• Quote:
  Vogue Williams [21:08]: "You look amazing. And I could snort chia seeds until the cows come home, and I wouldn't look like that."

6. Humorous Anecdotes and Light-Hearted Banter

Marathon and Physical Challenges

Vogue expresses disinterest in traditional physical challenges like running marathons, leading to a playful exchange about alternative activities such as biking with Joanne in unconventional ways.

• Quote:
  Joanne McNally [35:28]: "I might drive us one year."

Naked Cabin Crew Incident

Joanne recounts a bizarre incident involving a British Airways cabin crew member found naked in a first-class toilet, sparking humor and bewilderment over the situation.

• Quote:
  Vogue Williams [40:08]: "He was bundled into a spare pair of pajamas reserved for first class passengers."

7. Music Industry Gossip

Calvin Harris vs. Chicane Feud

The hosts discuss the ongoing dispute between Calvin Harris and Chicane, where Chicane accuses Calvin of ripping off his music. They explore the personal backgrounds of both artists and the impact of such feuds on their careers and public perception.

• Quote:
  Joanne McNally [43:55]: "But he did nothing. We're team Calvin especially."

8. Closing Remarks and Acknowledgments

Vogue wraps up the episode by thanking listeners for the success of her book, highlighting its position as an Irish Times bestseller and expressing gratitude to her audience.

• Quote:
  Vogue Williams [46:53]: "There there, the rugs are lovely. And I've just bought a new rug, actually, so, yes, you're right."

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Overall Insights:

The episode weaves together personal stories, humorous incidents, and insightful discussions on aging, technology, and celebrity culture. Vogue and Joanne's chemistry provides an engaging and relatable narrative, making listeners feel connected to their experiences and perspectives. Notable quotes punctuate the conversation, adding authenticity and depth to the topics covered.

For those who haven't listened, this episode offers a blend of heartfelt reflections and light-hearted banter, capturing the essence of friendship and the journey through life's milestones.

Transcript

[Joanne McNally]

This is a Global Player original podcast.

[Vogue Williams]

Hello and welcome to. My therapist ghosted me with me, Vogue.

[Joanne McNally]

Williams and Joanne McNally. We think your hair looks nice today, Joe, because it's wet, but not too wet.

[Joe]

Thank you. It's quite heavily greased.

[Vogue Williams]

It doesn't. Oh, with product, not grease.

[Joe]

Well, it is grease. It is oil based. It is. It is a grease situation.

[Vogue Williams]

Otto rubbed his hair, Rubbed butter in his hair this morning. And I have a real thing about them looking clean going to school, but I do. I tried a bit of dry shampoo. Wasn't really taking control of the butter, so I had to dip his head over the bath, which he didn't enjoy. But his hair looks nice now.

[Joanne McNally]

He's going to have to get used to it if he's going to keep buttering his hair. You know, I was staring at a baby in Amsterdam airport for so long yesterday that the f reversed the buggy away and moved the child over to the other side of the baggage carousel.

[Vogue Williams]

Interacting or just interacting or just staring.

[Joanne McNally]

Staring now.

[Vogue Williams]

It was a very.

[Joanne McNally]

It was a very scary baby. It was one of these incredibly cute fat babies with all the Sharpe Dog skin. Like, it had all folds, you know, you look like a little sumo wrestler. And he was. And the baby was crammed in, you know, the luggage trolley things. He was crammed into the little bit at the top, so it was even more folded over. And it was just being really cute. And I was tired and I probably stared a little too long, but I noticed the father looking at me and then he just, like, reversed it. I was like, I'm not going to. What, you think I'm going to abduct it in broad daylight in the middle of Amsterdam airport?

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. Excuse me, I'm in Amsterdam. Do you think I want to take on your baggage for this trip? I don't think so.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm not paying to get her to Antwerp.

[Vogue Williams]

Wait, so hang on. You were in Lisbon yesterday? Is that yesterday?

[Joanne McNally]

Yes.

[Vogue Williams]

How's Lisbon? You actually went out.

[Joanne McNally]

Did I?

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, you. I saw Joanne's in Lisbon on tour and now she's not Amsterdam on tour. But you were. I saw you with a panda. You went out.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, sorry. Vogue. Vogue is this idea that I just lie cocooned in bed all day, every day in the dark, and then you get up like a vampire, do an hour show and then go back to bed. I do actually get out and about. I enjoy a bit of vitamin D on the skin. It stops from getting rickets. Yeah, I went out and about in Lisbon. Gorgeous city. I Always forget. Lisboa is. It's stunning.

[Vogue Williams]

I haven't been to Liz. Is that where you went with your friends? And that's where we got the pictures for the POD tour where you were lying on the ground in a bar.

[Joanne McNally]

Yes, Vogue it is. Well done.

[Vogue Williams]

I don't even have a good memory just of. I just know everything that you do and retain it.

[Joanne McNally]

For anyone who wasn't at the POD tour, we used photos of how Vogue holidays versus how I holiday and Vogue was kind of working out and doing her stretches and I was rolling around on the ground of a barn in Lisboa. Do you know what? I made a very big. And it was actually a very. It was a classic me move. I had two shows in Lisboa. I had a 9 o' clock and a half six. And I misread the sales report. I thought they're about sell day so did absolutely nothing to promote themselves out.

[Vogue Williams]

You're probably like sold out.

[Joanne McNally]

Sold out, baby. Nothing to see here. Just a global superstar. Anyway, turns out one of them was sold out. The other one was absolutely not sold out. First was a 350seater. So I put on a second one. Cuz the first one did sell.

[Vogue Williams]

Yep.

[Joanne McNally]

Turns out 400 people wanted to see me in Lisbon. Like 50 people in the second one. Now in fairness, I wish I'd known. I didn't know I. I need to pay. I would have giving it a push, but I didn't. But we. So the first show was to 50 people and it's like it's quite a big room. And I was like, oh God, this is. And it was the first show of the. The Bengal store. I was like, oh God. When I say it was so much fun. Honest. Vogue, you wouldn't have even done it because I know you have a 500 minimum rule for your performances. But I went out there like a seasoned pro. Actually went out beforehand before Garage went on. I was like, okay, you went out.

[Vogue Williams]

Before grow to introduce Grode. Was this a half six at only Mental People.

[Joanne McNally]

I would have been all over that day. 50 people. And I went out and I was like, okay, okay. You've probably noticed because I was online going, she thought I chose Baby. I think Joanna McNally is the biggest spoofer on the Internet. You went out and said that I had to. I had to flag it.

[Vogue Williams]

Excuse me. I would. I would do a show now to. Well, not under five people after you gave me my life advice that I had on board. But yes, not under five.

[Joanne McNally]

You get your ass out there. And you perform your tits off. Because always the rule is the people sometimes act and like, I. I don't know if I always kind of try to say I've done it myself to make me sound like I'm slagging people less, but I actually don't think I have done it myself. They get annoyed and they almost kind of take it out on the. On the small audience that have actually bothered their hell to come and see you.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, so they'd be pissed off for the show.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, it's all fucking. You know, they let their ego get in the way a little bit. But you got. You go out. These are the people who've actually spent money to come and see us. We went out and they were so, so lovely. And then some of them came back for the second show, which was sad.

[Vogue Williams]

Did you have the. Have you had a custard tart? Oh, you've left Lisbon. I wouldn't say they'd be up your street, but they are delicious. A pastel donata.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah. Well, someone actually was saying to me, if you. Any tips for Lisbon. And I was like, those little cake. Greg pie yellow lemon things is my only tip. They're gorgeous. Oh, but you can get them in London. I had a gorgeous one in London. What are they called, the patties?

[Vogue Williams]

The pata della de nata or something like that. And they aren't the same in London. Do you want. That's like saying that a croissant in France is the same as a croissant in London. In France, they use only sticks of butter in their croissants.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, we. Listen, I'm not gonna. I don't mean to offend the Portuguese culture, but it was. I bought it. I had one off Oxford street and it was delicious. But yes, there's those little custard cakes. Congrats on the custard cakes. Portugal.

[Vogue Williams]

God, I love clusters. Yum.

[Joanne McNally]

Highlight. But are you going to a brothel today?

[Vogue Williams]

Now you're in Amsterdam?

[Joanne McNally]

I've. I've not. I was saying to. I don't know where I thought I was. I'm not. I have no time to look at you two sports for the next three hours and then I've just pretty much time for sound check and then I have to go and get my. I think about. I was. When I say me and Garuda like two pensioners on a bus trip. He slept in. I was in bed by half nine last night in Amsterdam. I thought we were going to be out tearing the tiles up today. I have to go to the doctor and get my ears syringed before the show. I've gone deaf in my left ear.

[Vogue Williams]

Welcome to my world.

[Joanne McNally]

Groats Knitting. No, it's a shambles.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, my. But that sounds right up my street. I'm sorry. That's like. That's a holiday I would enjoy. I should have gone on your European tour with you.

[Joanne McNally]

You should have. It's basically like an episode of the Golden Girls.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, now I can't wait. I can't wait to see what happens to Joanne this weekend. Because I was meant to. Our friends at home. One of our friends called Martin Gotten, who was an amazing director, and he's just. He's very. Well, he's not eccentric. He's just. Has brilliant ideas for parties. And he's been having a party for years called the Wake up, and he's doing it in Europe. And Joanne is going, I can't go, because I've got to go to a wedding. But I can't wait. It's gonna be. Are you performing?

[Joanne McNally]

I'm not, would you believe? So Martin is. He's a very, very creative person. And that's it.

[Vogue Williams]

No, I was.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah. She's like, he's insane.

[Vogue Williams]

Not peculiar.

[Joanne McNally]

I meant contrary. He's a very creative.

[Vogue Williams]

Not normal.

[Joanne McNally]

And we have very creative group of friends, and they do a performance every year for his birthday, and he bought a house on the cheap in. I call it Puglia. Puglia, I think it is in Italy. They were doing some sort of deal there where. Because I think they wanted to build up the area.

[Vogue Williams]

Incredible. His house now.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, he bought us. And he's done it up. And so we're all going there for his 40th. But I said to him, I said, do you mind, Martin? I said, I'm coming from performing. I would love to just kick back. So he said, I can manage the crowds.

[Vogue Williams]

I would just suggest you get up there and perform Good Girls and bring your bongo. And I didn't even think, do it. You could have done do it. Surprise.

[Joanne McNally]

God. About Good Girls. That's yours. You wrote that from scratch. I wouldn't feel right.

[Vogue Williams]

You did the pot. Yeah, yeah. Do you think I wrote that?

[Joanne McNally]

Every single lyric. You wrote yourself.

[Vogue Williams]

Okay, okay, I did.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah. What was your man's name again? Who wrote it?

[Vogue Williams]

Tom Diesel. I sang and performed. Performed it.

[Joanne McNally]

You sang and performed? And I did the ribbons on the. On the Ghost of Tour. But no, I said, martin, I'll take. I'll take this one. One out. I'll sit this one out if you don't mind, but I am going to Puglia for a couple of days and then back to Berlin.

[Vogue Williams]

I think the main performers should do the performing. Like we like you perform differently. We don't like dancing and you have to dance at the wake and it's just not for us.

[Joanne McNally]

He's built a stage in his back garden and all. I can't wait.

[Vogue Williams]

Of course he's built a stage.

[Joanne McNally]

So much fun.

[Vogue Williams]

Maybe I'll employ him for my birthday. That would be a great job. And I'll just say I'll employ you. But it's. That's my present.

[Joanne McNally]

How are you? Are there going to be live performances at the birthday?

[Vogue Williams]

I want to get like. Obviously I've gotten Davina Devine on board already because she's. There's no party without Davina. Jo, you're invited, by the way. But I know that you probably won't come over. But you are invited and I'm planning a year long celebration.

[Joe]

Oh, gosh.

[Joanne McNally]

What a heartfelt invitation. Yeah, very clear. She hasn't made room for you at the inn.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, I haven't.

[Joanne McNally]

I'd invite you but you're probably too busy.

[Vogue Williams]

I've been. I have to do the paperless post things. You think I am. Do you know how hard things like that are for me? I have to send around the invites now. I need to firm up and act. I need a good act. And then I was looking at the Venga Boys and I was like, imagine I got the Venga Boys. But I just. Do you know.

[Joanne McNally]

Do you know how much the Venga Boys would be?

[Vogue Williams]

I know I'd say they'd be a lot.

[Joanne McNally]

I'd say they'd be about 100 grand.

[Vogue Williams]

I don't know if they'd be 100 grand now. That's very kind of you, but I don't think they'd be 100 grand.

[Joanne McNally]

But they bangers like. Plus there's loads of them, so they have to split the fee. I know they're taking grand each. They're down big.

[Vogue Williams]

I wouldn't like. Can I. I would just take one. If anyone has any suggestions for my party of people that I could ask, like, I'd love to have a performer. I asked one of my favorite performers, but she is on holidays and doesn't want to not be on holidays.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah. Was that me? No, it wasn't. Who's your favorite performer?

[Vogue Williams]

I'd never asked you to perform again after what I did to you in.

[Joanne McNally]

Scotland and only after the cruelest, cruelest thing you've ever done to me. And there's a long list, but that's up the top. That's the meanest thing perform. Okay, it was abuse. And then no one would look me in the eye for half an hour. Hour after I finished, even longer. In fact, I don't think Spencer's mother's ever looked me in the eye since, to be honest.

[Vogue Williams]

It could. There's nothing worse. I just. I'm sad you didn't see Amber perform in Caledonia, because for a girl, I didn't understand what was happening. I was like, why is she singing? I don't understand. A terrible voice. Didn't even know other words. And it was worse than you. I'm just saying. And I enjoyed your performance.

[Joanne McNally]

That does make me feel a little better.

[Vogue Williams]

What are you looking up, Joe? How much the Vango Boys are.

[Joe]

Well, if you ask Google, AI, and I never know with these AI answers that pop up up the top. But I just googled how much to book. The Wenger Boys says it's generally in the range of 14 and a half thousand euros per hour.

[Vogue Williams]

I mean, I don't want them.

[Joanne McNally]

Okay.

[Vogue Williams]

I only want them for an hour.

[Joe]

Well, there you go.

[Joanne McNally]

Okay.

[Vogue Williams]

Cash. Deal.

[Joe]

Flown them over. You're talking €15,000.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, but that's AI. I think they'd be more than that.

[Joanne McNally]

Sometimes the computer over overestimates massively. Speaking of AI, I was reading something this morning. Did you see. Did you see this? I got 82% on an emotional intelligence test and human beings only got 56.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, my God. They're probably going to be woke. Robots.

[Joanne McNally]

This means we can. I'm now willing to date a robot. I wasn't sure before, but now that there's some sort of emotional intelligence going on, I'm all about it. Now, it also means that we should encourage our men to rely more on Chachi Beatty, because chatgpt are actually hanging out of the park now.

[Vogue Williams]

I know somebody who uses ChatGPT for so many things like text messages and everything like that. That responses to arguments and like, I. You can tell. What about that? There was somebody in Ireland, a minister, who used chat GBT to write something about Gaza. And they were like, you've written. You've used chat gbt. Like, what the hell? You get caught out all the time.

[Joanne McNally]

They do. Isn't there a lot of dashes and stuff? You can kind of tell from the grammar that is chat gbt. I have to say, because I enjoy writing. I. I don't like. I. I think some people I. I know that one of my mates, she feels she's quite stiff on text. Like, she doesn't. She's like. She's like, I'm great in person, but in text, I'm a little cold, a little stiff, a little abrupt. So she's very much leaning on Chachi Beauty at the moment to help her kind of loosen up her texts to boys and stuff, and she's finding it very useful. But I will say, I don't think Chachi BT is full of personality. It's a bit dry.

[Vogue Williams]

A bit dry. Well, I. To be honest with you. Can I be honest? I downloaded it. I don't know why, because I don't know how to use it and I've never used it once. I don't know what to use it for. Except for now, looking at how much artists cost.

[Joanne McNally]

I look at it for suggestions of things to do or capacity for. Like, to be honest, there's nothing really in it that I couldn't get off Google. But I just feel like everyone's using it now. Even though it's destroying the planet.

[Vogue Williams]

I don't know. I see. I don't even know how it's destroying the planet. I don't really understand that part of it either.

[Joanne McNally]

It uses loads of water and they're saying, like, the next big problem for human civilization is going to be lack of water. And this uses loads of water to generate your results. So, like, well, you're just looking at, what would the guy that I fancy and me's baby look like? And actually you're, like, ruining the rainforest.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, God, you can do that. I'd love to see that.

[Joanne McNally]

Exactly. I'm actually doing in the new show. It's like the amount of work and effort that went into making it and how little plebs like us are using it and how much damage it's doing to the environment and our jobs and everything. And we were like, here, put a. Put a puffer jacket on the Pope, will you?

[Vogue Williams]

Ah, now, that was worthwhile. Some things are worthwhile. I did enjoy that, but I did. I. I didn't know that you could Google what's mine. And, like, let's say, who do I really fancy? Mine and Kevin's baby would look like. We're on First Name with him, by the way. Now.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, I could. I could put in what would be.

[Joe]

In Joe, isn't it for anyone?

[Joanne McNally]

Costner.

[Vogue Williams]

Everybody knows that. I actually, I Googled the fifth series because I've finished it all now and I've decided I'm not watching it. Because I didn't like what I read.

[Joanne McNally]

Don't. I've never watched any of it.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm doing it. I'm not saying anything.

[Joanne McNally]

And be aware that I get dogs abuse every time I do a spoiler on this thing. And it could be about a show that came out in 1973 and they'll still be like, spoiler. You should have told us spoiler. So just be careful now.

[Vogue Williams]

I didn't spoil anything. I just said I'm not watching the fifth series because I've wasn't. Didn't. I didn't like the plot line.

[Joanne McNally]

That's what I got you for your birthday. I got you cancel Culture Insurance. I'm unsure about me and Prince Andrew. But she said they said they can. They could do something with her.

[Vogue Williams]

I was actually thinking to myself, I read that online and I was like, that might be. Be good for Jan because if someone annoys her, there's a good chance she.

[Joanne McNally]

Let's flip out.

[Vogue Williams]

She could go for them. I did. Right.

[Joanne McNally]

There was a girl at the more petite Lisbon show who worked in environmental science or sustainability, one or the other. And I said to her, are we. Are we goose? Yeah. And she went, ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh no, you on.

[Joanne McNally]

She said, crack open those plastic straws. It's it stones as. Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

For what generation though? Because we aren't.

[Joanne McNally]

Wow.

[Vogue Williams]

And I feel bad about the rest of them.

[Joanne McNally]

Great question though, because I went back straight away and I said, okay, give it to me in January. I said, what about, you know, I'm 42. And she said, you'll be fine. Your kids will be a little hot. But the next generation gone air fryer. Yeah. Oh my God.

[Vogue Williams]

That's what she said.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, she'd probably. I don't know if. I don't know. I don't know her credentials.

[Vogue Williams]

They might adapt. Humans adapt. Will adapt to the heat.

[Joanne McNally]

You're right. Maybe we'll become waterproof and fire resistant.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, that's what I would think is going to happen. So tell us when the rest of your shows are in Europe, if anyone wants to go, considering you keep forgetting to promote them.

[Joanne McNally]

The show that there's tickets left for. Oh, well, the scandi countries, it's. I think Barcelona's gone. Sorry, When's this coming out, Joe?

[Joe]

Friday on Friday. So you're in Barcelona on Friday and then after that, Berlin, Oslo, Stockholm, Copenhagen.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh yeah. So perfect, Joe. There you go. Berlin, Osborne.

[Vogue Williams]

Oslo.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Berlin, Oslo, Stockholm, Copenhagen, Amsterdam Again.

[Joanne McNally]

Copenhagen. Amsterdam's gone. Amsterdam. Really? They've really pulled out the Stops here.

[Vogue Williams]

There you go.

[Joanne McNally]

Must be a lot of Irish in Amsterdam.

[Joe]

That's the end of the little jaunt in Europe.

[Joanne McNally]

Liverpool, Bournemouth, Apollo. The all recommendations. Send your friends, send your pals, send your families. Speaking of Osborne, that just was a weird slip there. I think the reason I said that was because Brandon Courtney made a holy show of us. When In London the other week.

[Vogue Williams]

Okay.

[Joanne McNally]

I met him for little drinks, and we walked past Kelly Osborne sitting in a bar. We were walking back. We're exiting a bar in London, and we walked past. I clocked her, kept going. Brandon. It was actually. I was like, Brenda, get your. He's like. He stopped and he squealed like a mouse stuck in a trap.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, no, no.

[Joanne McNally]

And we'd had, like, two drinks at this point.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, God.

[Joanne McNally]

Like, it wasn't like we'd been out for hours. And Kelly kind of jumped. Oh, no. She noticed. Of course he was. He stopped right in front of her and screamed in her face. And I was like, no, no, no, Brenda. It was like a child. It was. He was like a child running out into a train track. I tried to grab him.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, no.

[Joanne McNally]

But he was gone. He was gone over to Kelly, and.

[Vogue Williams]

He went up to her.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, please. No. I died. That's like Spencer loves us looking at him.

[Joanne McNally]

He screamed, and then he went over to her and she meet first where she was so nice. She actually. Because I was watching and I was behind her going, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And she. She genuinely reacted to him like no one had ever come up to her before. It was very nice. He's very nice. She seemed very nice. Now, her mother's obviously kind of lost.

[Vogue Williams]

The plot, but her mom is her. Yeah, her mom says some quite unusual things online. And I wouldn't. I have to admit, I would not be her mother's greatest fan. Not that her mother gives a about me, but one of my favorite things.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, she seemed. She seemed very nice.

[Vogue Williams]

Did you ever see what Kelly Osborne did on that TV show when she was talking about Donald Trump? It was so bad.

[Joanne McNally]

I did indeed. She was on top of immigration.

[Vogue Williams]

She's talking about immigration. And she was trying to be, like, on the sides of. Well, she was trying to be against Donald Trump, and she's like, well, Donald Trump, who's gonna clean your toilet? And everyone was just like, have you never seen that show? You'd die if you watch that. Oh, it was. I only watched that recently. I don't know who showed me it again.

[Joanne McNally]

It was pretty bad. God love her. Yeah. I just finished the book, the Amy Winehouse book by Tyler James, who was her. Amy Winehouse's best friend. And it's a. It's a great. I listened to it now. It's a great listen. But Kelly Osborne. I didn't realize Kelly and Amy were very good friends, and he speaks very highly of her in. In the book as well, so she seems like a sound one.

[Vogue Williams]

So. Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

So Brandon made a holy shall the dealers.

[Vogue Williams]

I was like, I kind of. When I see famous people, I. I don't even act cool. I literally go to the other. Like, I'd be quite friendly when I meet people and saying hello to people, but when it's really famous people, I just ignore them. I just. I feel really uncomfortable. I'm like, don't look at them. Y. I get really, like, embarrassed and shy, and I'm just like, get me out of here. I don't want to be near anyone famous. I can't stand it. Poor Brandon, squealing like a trapped cat. I'm surprised she jumps. I know, but I didn't think that Kelly Osborne would be that important to Brendan.

[Joanne McNally]

He. Apparently, he loves her that well.

[Vogue Williams]

Do you know what? Fair play then. If he met his idol and she was very nice to him, isn't that a nice thing to do?

[Joanne McNally]

She genuinely was like. She act. She responded like no one had ever come up to her in her life. She was like, oh, my God, thank you so much. I was like, roger, get out of here.

[Vogue Williams]

I have to bring up Lindsay Lohan. Like, we have to talk about it. Lindsay Lohan, who has.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, I've kind of got it out of my system now. I spent 48 hours spiraling about the whole thing. She's basically. Yeah, sorry.

[Vogue Williams]

So Lindsay Lohan, who looks absolutely incredible. We have said she does look incredible. Everybody is saying it, but she has said that her new ageless appearance is down to juice and chia seeds. Or chia seeds, whatever. She says. She's a very specific skincare routine. She loves dipping her face in I want ice cold water. She loves eye patches in the morning, and she's into lasers now, Lindsay. I'm also into lasers. I love a laser.

[Joanne McNally]

I love a laser. We're big Debbie Thomas fans. We go get our lasers on the regular, but neither of us look like Lindsay Lohan.

[Vogue Williams]

Neither. Lindsay, your glow up was so spectacular, and I mean that in the kindest way possible. You look amazing. And I could snort chia seeds until the cows come home, and I wouldn't look like that. So I'm just saying that I think if you've like, I know that it took me a long time to admit to the old talks and I did eventually admit to it in my book. I would say that you've got to admit to things when they happen.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, she does admit to Botox now. She says she has a bit of Botox but nothing invasive. And when she says she likes dipping her face in ice cold water, I'm like, yeah, because whatever. Wherever that face is, because you have a new one on now. So I'm sure the other one is immersed somewhere like a bell jar and they're gonna use us. I just heard a medical science because you. And what? And someone. I did a little video about it and I was like, come on now. If like chia seeds did that, that's like saying, do you know, that's like saying cucumbers cure cholera. But someone was like, why do you care? I was like, well, I don't really care. I'm just talking about it because it's kind of in that, you know, it's just kind of a topic of conversation. But also I do feel like it's. She's complete. She's committed some sort of treason against women. I say off of their head. Well, off of their new head.

[Vogue Williams]

I just think with, like, with things like that, when it's so obvious, like if someone asks you just say no comment. Or don't answer about it. It just, it's like, Kylie Jenner came out this week, by the way. All hail Kylie Jenner. She looks amazing. And she. Someone asked her about a boob job on her Instagram and she literally wrote back every single detail about the boob job and said, I hope that helps. And it's like, you know what, Kylie? Thank you. It did she.

[Joanne McNally]

And she, she regrets her tit job. You know, I thought they looked great. She. But she said, she said her tits were perfectly fine beforehand and she, she didn't really get it because especially when you're in that world where it's just so normalized. Gets her tits and their arse done or whatever. Yeah, but she says she regrets it. But anyway, yeah, at least she's honest about it. And like, the bottom line is they're not. We're not entitled to have this information.

[Vogue Williams]

No, it's not our business.

[Joanne McNally]

It's none of our business. But that doesn't stop us discussing it at great length. It's basically the thanks pennies philosophy. Do you know what I mean? When you get it's very much an Irish thing as well. When someone compliments you, you immediately bat the compliment away by saying how cheap the item you have is. So you know, you'll be like, oh, they'll be like, vogue. You look great. You're like, thanks, Faceland.

[Vogue Williams]

Face land. Poor Face Land.

[Joanne McNally]

Thanks, Faceland.

[Vogue Williams]

Thank you.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm going to the land of Faceland tomorrow. It's in Belgium. I'll be there. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do a drive by. I'm gonna do a racky.

[Vogue Williams]

What you call Belgium, what you call them. It's just Belgian people. Belgians. The Belgians are Belgian. Oh my God. Lovely chocolate. So I went away Dubrovnik. 10 out of 10.

[Joanne McNally]

It looked gorgeous. I loved the matching swimsuits. It was very sweet.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, the girls were all talking on the group chat about getting a Hunza G and no one had got one in time for the trip. So I went and ordered everybody a.

[Joanne McNally]

Hunza G. Sorry, what on earth is a Hunza G?

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, they're these.

[Joe]

Glad it's you as well.

[Vogue Williams]

They're these.

[Joe]

Just me.

[Vogue Williams]

Those, those swimsuits. Those swimsuits. The one that like, it's. It's one size fit all. They're all those crinkly cut swimsuits and you can get them in loads of different colors or whatever. And I love them and they're just really flattering. And the girls all wanted one, so I got. That's their 40th birthday present. They all got a Hunza g bikini swimsuit and we all wore them. And did I feel like a bit of a gobshine? Yes, I did.

[Joanne McNally]

It looked. It was like very hen party vibes.

[Vogue Williams]

That's exactly what it was like. But we all turn. Some of a couple have turned 40 and the rest of us turn 40 this year. So we wanted to mark it and go on a little trip together. So we went to the bro break. I did two days. They are still there today. Yeah, it was so nice. It was very nice to go away.

[Joanne McNally]

It's a lovely thing to have your school friends. I still have my school friends and our lives have all gone in kind of different directions. But we're still in a WhatsApp group. We're still close. I still see the most times I'm home. Not always. I don't always have time to see people.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

And we did the same. We went to San Sebastian because we all turned 40 in the same year. It's great to have people who've known you since you were in yeah, knickers. But thankfully I do still wear knickers. I have. No, I'm not. Not nappies yet. But, you know, they've known you all your life, you know. Yeah, those friendships are really worthwhile and they're not always easy to keep. You have to work at them.

[Vogue Williams]

No, I've known the girls for 28 years and I've known them so long that one of my friends, Carly was like, do you remember that you weren't the tallest, that you were like, you were small in our group. Like we were all taller than you when we started secondary school. I was like, oh my God, yes, I was of normal stature when I met you. And then they even still loved me as I turned into a giant.

[Joanne McNally]

There you go. More of me developed. Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

But it made me very, would I say nostalgic. I don't know, it made me consider my 40th because obviously I was just gonna do little bits of bobs and first of all, I wasn't going to celebrate it. Now I do want to celebrate it and I actually am of the opinion. I thought I'd be really scared turning 40, but I feel really privileged and happy to be turning 40. And I'm at a good point. I feel like when you're turning 30, you're kind of like you're, you don't really have your shit together. I feel like I probably don't fully have my shit together at the moment, but definitely a lot more than I did when I was 30. And I'm just excited to turn 40.

[Joanne McNally]

And to be fair to you, my, my take on turning 40 is 40 is undeniably adult. There's no denying you're an adult. So like I would, I, I use it to kind of throw back in people's faces. Now I'm like, I'm a 42 year old woman. For example, when my mother gives me for not coming home more often or stuff like that, I'm like, I'm a.

[Vogue Williams]

42 year old woman.

[Joanne McNally]

Like it's my kind of defense mechanism. And also vogue. I would say you've got a lot in on 40 years. Two marriages, three kids, one never ending fairy ad. Yeah, you've been flat out.

[Vogue Williams]

And it continues. And I just feel like I'm at a good, I feel at a happy point in my life. I feel like it's nice and I, I was asked a question to people on Instagram, how do they feel when they turned 40? Because I'm feeling so good about it, but some people don't. Sveni of Course. Wrote back to it and said, wouldn't know. Ages away from that. And I wrote back and I said, well, you know, you're gonna regret not wearing SPF, Spencer, because I thought you were 45. No, he was. Wears oil.

[Joanne McNally]

Of all the things he's done in his life, that's the maddest one.

[Vogue Williams]

He puts oil on his face and then his oh dear Lister and he says, oh no, that always happens in the sun. That old line.

[Joanne McNally]

Kylie, my tour manager, who's Aussie, she doesn't believe in spf.

[Vogue Williams]

A lot of people against it. Yeah, yeah, A lot of people say that it doesn't work. Now, I would not be of that group of people. Unless you're going to stay out of the sun.

[Joanne McNally]

What? I know, that's outrageous.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm not scraping my face off just to get more pigmentation. No thanks.

[Joanne McNally]

That's the thing, water doesn't work. That's crazy.

[Vogue Williams]

I do think you should perform at my birthday.

[Joanne McNally]

I mean I, you know, I'll obviously be performing my own little one woman show in the kitchen. I won't take the stage.

[Vogue Williams]

You'll find Joanna in the utility room.

[Joanne McNally]

I'll work the bar.

[Vogue Williams]

I've got you your own bar, man. Are you crazy? Here's one. I sobbed the whole day. Someone else, I left my husband. A man mailed it, mailed me and said mail here. I had sex with my female boss and bought a Porsche so you could say I took it. Well, I suppose force is considered mid, mid, midlife really because 80 is the average age of death in the UK. How did you feel turning 40?

[Joanne McNally]

Actually according to the stats, they say you're 35. 36 is middle aged also. There's no such thing as middle aged anymore. Middle aged, that, that, that pocket of time doesn't exist anymore. You're young, you're adult, you die. Middle aged. And I don't, I don't think it's a crisis when people kind of up when they turn 40. They've just realized that they're, you know, we're all dying. Time's running out. A crisis suggests that they're having sort of mental breakdown. I think people just remind themselves to enjoy themselves a bit more. Hence the portion, the affairs.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, well, it wasn't an affair, it was just sex.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh yeah, right.

[Vogue Williams]

One girl said, I did a 12 week prep and did a gym photo shoot. Loved every minute of it. It's just a number. So a lot of people were obviously like. There was a lot of people saying that they hated it. They didn't enjoy it. Loads of people in Covid had their 40th hated. But I just think that like when you turn 40, but it does make you consider different things because I was googling a lot about it as well. And like you consider your health more, you consider what, what your life might be missing, what you could add to your life to make it more fun.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, I check my lymph nodes now on the regular.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, of course you do.

[Joanne McNally]

But my two pelvic ones are quite swollen at the moment.

[Vogue Williams]

Where's the pelvic lymph nodes?

[Joanne McNally]

By your pelvis.

[Vogue Williams]

What I didn't even know you had.

[Joanne McNally]

Where those near the mound. As I was near the mountain side of the mound. Yeah. So I'm like, oh, okay, that's probably leukemia. So. But now I will actually do something about it. You know what I mean? Because before like in your 40s, you do have to start taking seriously because you know, well, people die at all ages sadly. But you know, goes wrong. I, I, I got such a balls out of turning 40 because I've always had a bit of a case of arrested development. I've always been a little, you know, my lifestyle has been a little juvenile in comparison to some people my age. On, on. Because I don't have any of the symptoms of your 40s, which is marriage and kids, etc. So when I turned 40, I was like, oh, this is a statement piece now I'm in my 40s now. I can do what I want when I want and no one can deny me those things anymore. Like, and it's usually my, like I say, it's usually in defense of my mother trying to get me to do something. And I'm, I'm very much establishing the fact that I'm a grown adult and entitled to do as I wish.

[Vogue Williams]

I think for me though, I think when you talk about being a grown up because like I still have parents and stuff like that in some sense I'm a bit like. Because I would really like, I'd feel like that if my parents asked me to do something. I'm like, okay, I just, I'm still in that. Maybe it's because. Oh yeah, okay, Neil.

[Joanne McNally]

Mine's more so because when you don't have, when you don't have a, a husband and kids, there can be extra little bits and bobs extra expected of you because you don't have dependence. So your time is a little less, see, seen as less important sometimes I think because, you know, other members of the family have families. I don't so sometimes there's a bit of an expectation there, and that's when I kind of drop the old 42 thing.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, I. I know what you're saying there, and I don't think that that's fair. And I. I try not to ever, like, even when people are, like, coming to hang out with me, like, or something like that, I'd never use that excuse because I have had friends, and they're like, oh, well, I've got kids. Like, you just. Just do this. And I'm like, But, like, that's before I had kids. It's just a bit like. But like, my time is still important as well, so I'm always conscious of doing that.

[Joanne McNally]

When I turned 40, also, I was in a very lucky position because, as we know, I did a wild professional pivot. In my 30s, early 30s, I went from public relations to comedy. So by the time I hit 40, it was finally kind of. It had fallen into place. Like, I was working full time, and I had a podcast, and I had an income and stuff, so I was in a. A. In a good position as such. It could have been different had that comedy thing not cracked in the way. And I was freaking out about not having a job. So I was lucky in that sense. It kind of. The timing was quite good for me. Yeah, it had all kind of fallen into place.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, I suppose I kind of feel like that, too. But I. I still feel, because with my job, I still. I'm always trying. I'm always kind of working towards something else, and I feel like with my job, I'm. I always have that little bit of, oh, it could be gone, and, like, the rug's just gonna get pulled from under me, you know, that way you're like, yeah, I always have that little bit of fear.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, but you've already. You've already bought lovely rugs. You've lovely rugs. You've lovely rugs. Hard. The rugs are lovely.

[Vogue Williams]

And I've just bought a new rug, actually, so, yes, you're right.

[Joanne McNally]

There you go. You're on top.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm very top. Very good with rugs. There was a thing, right, here's the top. Things you need to have done before the age of 40 for a fulfilling life. Supposedly visited a country. You don't speak the language. Look at each one. Look where you are.

[Joanne McNally]

That's all I do.

[Vogue Williams]

All you do.

[Joanne McNally]

Speak my own language.

[Vogue Williams]

Don't speak it.

[Joanne McNally]

I mean, Ireland's like, look at me rocking us.

[Vogue Williams]

Spontaneously hopped on a flight now. I haven't done that.

[Joanne McNally]

No, I don't think I have.

[Vogue Williams]

No.

[Joanne McNally]

But I've missed enough flights to kind of give the same rock and roll feeling.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, I haven't done that. I know. To be honest with you, I'll never. I will never do that. Fallen in love. We've done that. And falling out of love.

[Joanne McNally]

You can't really jump on a flight spontaneously anyway. There has to be some sort of booking and organizing.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, Spencer once.

[Joanne McNally]

Unless you're a stowaway.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, Spencer in his wild days, once, he. They were at a party and it was like 5 o' clock in the morning and there. Someone was like, let's just book a flight and go somewhere. And they booked a flight and went somewhere.

[Joanne McNally]

That's one of those things you're sobering up, you've just landed in. You're like, oh, here he was. No one thought this through.

[Vogue Williams]

He once went home, some girl invited him to, like, Canada. And he flew. He was. Yeah, he was flying from St. Barth. So he'd. No coach or anything. So he went to Canada. And it was like. He said it was one of the. There's two times he. No, he said there was two times he thought he was gonna die. And one of the times was when he landed in Canada with no coat, it was like minus 40. And he said he went outside and from walking to the airport to the car, he was like, I don't think I'm gonna make it because it was so cold. So he would be quite spontaneous.

[Joanne McNally]

I love the idea of him just frozen to death. Walking from Terminal 1 to a taxi.

[Vogue Williams]

In his little slippers around in.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah. Topless in his flip flops.

[Vogue Williams]

Okay. There's other things. Run a marathon. I'll never do that.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, I mean, you're grand. That's. Now, I don't believe in midlife crises, but I do feel if you are having one, that is a big symptom.

[Vogue Williams]

One thing now, I have to say I. I caught a bit of that marathon bug when the marathon was on. But I. I would like to walk it.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, you did say you were gonna go and watch it from now on, which I don't think is really catching the bug.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, I'm definitely gonna go watch it, but I do have it in my mind. Maybe I'll walk it one day.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah. Cycle. It should drive us. I might drive us one year.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. I'll go with you. I'll come in the back of your car.

[Joanne McNally]

Do you know what you do? Put me on the. Put me in the baby seat in the back of Your bike. You can. You cycle and I'll just sit back and take the contents.

[Vogue Williams]

Now, I don't mean to offend you, but the baby seat only takes up to 20 kilos of weight. So I could remove the baby seat and you could go in the backer.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, well, there's me relapsing.

[Joe]

There's that walk, isn't there? There's a walk, a marathon walk that happens at night in London.

[Vogue Williams]

I don't really like evening activities, Jo, so that's just not going to work.

[Joanne McNally]

Sorry, did I not tell you about the night that they all. Did I tell you about this on the podcast? No, I was there one night. There was. They do a late night moonwalk. I think it's for Brasston.

[Joe]

That's the one.

[Joanne McNally]

And my, my flat. It was on the route.

[Joe]

It starts on Clapham Common.

[Joanne McNally]

All through the night. Goggles of women.

[Vogue Williams]

They do a marathon.

[Joanne McNally]

They're walking.

[Vogue Williams]

No, I just.

[Joanne McNally]

With fake tits. They're wearing these plastic tits. I didn't know what was going on.

[Vogue Williams]

I have a pair of them. I could go.

[Joanne McNally]

You could go. At the start, I was very supportive. I was like, get it, girls. This is really raising awareness. This is great. 4:00am, as I was like, like 4:00am, I was like. It took me. It took me everything to not shout out the window, that's enough, girls. I have to get up in the morning now. Come on. Put the clocks insane.

[Vogue Williams]

That sounds. It's. It's a nice thing. If they could, if they could move it to a daytime. Maybe around 9am would be. Would be fantastic for me.

[Joanne McNally]

I think they're having great crack.

[Vogue Williams]

I want to do the Camino as well. That's one thing that I think I want to do. I would love to do the walk to Everest. Obviously I'm not going up Everest, but that walk is meant to be incredible. And do the Camino before I die and I want to go to Rio.

[Joanne McNally]

I wouldn't call it a walk up Everest, really. Would you like this look?

[Vogue Williams]

No, I think walk to Everest, to Base Camp, out to the edge, right? Oh, yeah. I'm not going off Everest. Have you seen the queues? No.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

I don't like queuing, especially not in a freezing cold mountain.

[Joanne McNally]

No, no. I'll get my 10, 000 steps up elsewhere, thank you very much. I haven't done any of those things you just listed, so obviously my. My life is not fulfilled.

[Vogue Williams]

Jimon, I thought you'd be ahead of me and I wanted to ask you some advice for turning 40. But you haven't even gone skinny dipping.

[Joanne McNally]

Skinny dipping.

[Vogue Williams]

Because it says it's on the list. If you haven't done that. I don't want advice off you. If you haven't gone skinny dipping, I just don't bother.

[Joanne McNally]

I skinny dip every day in the privacy of my own shower. Surely that's enough.

[Vogue Williams]

I think you and I grew up in the exact same family where just being naked is just not a thing.

[Joanne McNally]

Why would I say skinny dip? Imagine I said to go out, he'd have me up in H. Or imagine I was like, come on, we're gonna go skinny dipping.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm Regina, and my cousin Cass went skinny dipping when we went to the Maldives. And it was the next day that I was like, girls like you can't do that in a country like this. Like, they don't accept skinny dippers. Imagine. Imagine being dragged away in handcuffs in the nip.

[Joanne McNally]

Naked.

[Vogue Williams]

No way.

[Joanne McNally]

Sorry. Speaking of being naked in handcuffs.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, don't. We don't want to know what you get up to in the evenings.

[Joanne McNally]

I wish. Don't even have an ankle bracelet on me. I'm not living at all.

[Vogue Williams]

I'll tell you what, neither am I. The chats the girls were having. Jesus Christ.

[Joanne McNally]

Really?

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, my God. I thought, well done, girls. I'm gonna take a little bit of.

[Joanne McNally]

Advice here sometimes, because when you spend time with people like, you rub off on each other and you influence each other, and we've influenced each other in many lovely ways, but I do think we' influenced each other into becoming quite boring. I know.

[Vogue Williams]

And you didn't used to be as bad as you are now.

[Joanne McNally]

Very bad. Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Much more crack. I mean, I was never that much crack. But you. Well, I was in my 20s, but you actually dragged it out till the late 30s. And now.

[Joanne McNally]

I did. Early 40s, I would say. I've really quietened down the last year. But I will say I'm coming back to Amsterdam for three days on my own at the end of this Euro trip. And I am gonna. I mean, what am I gonna do? Eat a space cake on my own?

[Vogue Williams]

Something weed jelly and just go home and snooze ye in her cell.

[Joanne McNally]

Oslo, Copenhagen, Stockholm, Berlin, Antwerp, Bournemouth, Liverpool, Dublin, Cork, Killarney.

[Vogue Williams]

She's learned it.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeovil.

[Joe]

Oh, yeah. Don't forget Yoval.

[Joanne McNally]

Birmingham, Dubai. Do something with that, Jo, will you? Speaking of naked in half handcuffs.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

Did you read about the cabin crew person? Oh, who was found? Let me get the article. I'll do it.

[Vogue Williams]

Happy. The time of their life. I Don't think they should be fired for that by the way. I think that that's really, it's good vibes for work. You're bringing positive energy to the aircraft.

[Joanne McNally]

So basically long haul flight. I think it was ba. It was ba, yeah. I think they were, I think they were going to Australia from San Fran or something like that and one of the cabin crew went missing. Anyway, they found him bollock naked in one of the upper kind of class toilets.

[Vogue Williams]

First class toilets.

[Joanne McNally]

First class toilets, off his tits, raving away. So the in flight crew boss was then stunned to find him completely naked and jigging up and down in the Club World cabin loo.

[Vogue Williams]

On his own.

[Joanne McNally]

On his own. He was bundled firstly. I'm always surprised. Is there some, is there an extra button in those toilets where there's, there's an extension. I don't see, like how are people riding and partying in those toilets? I can barely turn around in them. Is there an extension there that I'm not aware of?

[Vogue Williams]

They are. No, they're really small. But like that guy, I'd say what happened was he took like acid or LSD or something wild like that.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Because why would you be naked? You wouldn't get naked on booze, would you?

[Joanne McNally]

I know, yeah, that it, that is kind of the next level, isn't it? He was then bundled into a spare pair of pajamas reserved for first class passengers. The steward was then escorted to the first class cabin where he was buckled into a luxury seat for the remainder of the 10 and a half hour journey. I mean, it's not fun. Apparently they had the police waiting for when he landed.

[Vogue Williams]

Imagine coming to when you just, you finally, like you're having a great time naked in the toilet on your own and then you come to and you're strapped to a seat at work. You'd be like, oh, if he'd done it on Qantas, I reckon they'd have let him away with it or Aer Lingus, but it's not acceptable on ba.

[Joanne McNally]

Not acceptable. And apparently the other cabin crew were fuming because they didn't get to take a break or anything because, you know, they had to chicken and fish it for the full 12 hour flight because he was off because he basically they were one man down.

[Vogue Williams]

The absolute fear. Landing wherever he landed. But like maybe he thought it was.

[Joanne McNally]

A sleeping tablet, you know, like it's, it's kind of unusual to do a lot of pills on a plane. Like there's, you know, I hope he's okay is what I'm saying it must.

[Vogue Williams]

It had. I. I would have said it was a. Like acid or something really bad like that to have gone, yeah, that was. But what was he. There probably wasn't even any music in the toilet. Why naked, though? I just don't get the naked fit.

[Joanne McNally]

Everything hits different in the sky. It's never great to end a work shift with the police taking you away. It's just never great. It's never how you want to end the work day.

[Vogue Williams]

Anyway, I flew ba and there was to Brovnik with the girls and I didn't see any news. None. I did see a woman though. I saw this woman on the way to the flight, right? There was a woman, she must have been around my age. And she had a child with her who was probably. Who was just at that little bit annoying age on a flight ride, probably two and a half. And she came down the aisle. I noticed that her family were in the row behind her. And the child called out and was like, there's nanny. I want to sit beside nanny. The granny was sitting there. So the mom passed the baby to the granny, got the person to move out of the middle seat and sat down in a row alone with no children.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

And I turned, I turned around to her and I said, that was a fantastic move. Enjoy. Did you enjoy your flight? And then she put on headphones and the child was whinging. She didn't turn around once.

[Joanne McNally]

That's it. Build that rapport between child and grandmother so you can get rid of it on planes. I'm very sorry. There was a God. The Sharpay baby that I was admiring in arrivals was kicking off on the plane, like screaming, crying. I felt very sorry for the parents and myself, of course, but more for the parents, it's the worst. Have you heard the drama, the beef between Calvin Harris and Chicane?

[Vogue Williams]

Okay, what's the beef?

[Joanne McNally]

The beef is Chicane publicly accused Calvin Harris of ripping off his music. Yeah. So Calvin Harris has released a new tube called Blessings. And Chicane basically did a video where he said that he went through kind of the chords and stuff that. And he basically accused Calvin Harris of ripping it off. So then Calvin Harris went full tanti and did a reply video calling him a stupid bastard. And now it's been remixed into a song. So they've remixed Calvin Harris into Chicane's song. I think they've remixed Calvin Harris into Offshore. Am I right, Joe?

[Vogue Williams]

To Calvin Harris.

[Joanne McNally]

Very funny has happened. But do you know what the funny thing is? Everyone's like, calvin Harris is Scottish, knowing you, because he never really speaks.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, I think he's from Dundee.

[Joanne McNally]

But then in my little dive and to see what was going on, and, you know, I'm not a big muso, but I did do a little dive on it and I. I found an account of a music DJ dude that I actually really like. And he's like, it's not. It's. He didn't rip him off. We're team. Calvin especially. I did. I just worked. I just worked with his wife recently. She's lovely.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, Vickov. Yeah, she's really nice. They're having a baby as well.

[Joanne McNally]

They're having a baby.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

So Chicane's real name, which this is something he should actually be focused on rather than accusing Calvin Harris of ripping him off. Nicholas Brace Girdle.

[Vogue Williams]

Race Curdle.

[Joanne McNally]

Nicholas Chicane is called Nicholas Bracegirdle.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, I can see why he changed his name to Chicane.

[Joanne McNally]

And I said to myself, what's Calvin Harris's real name? Because it's not Calvin Harris.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, Stuart. No.

[Joanne McNally]

Do you know, I was gonna say.

[Vogue Williams]

Stuart Price, but that's a different dj. No, I actually don't remember Adam Richard.

[Joanne McNally]

Wilds, which is a fine name, really. It's a lot better than Brace Girdle. But did you know that Calvin Harris was also at one stage called Love Regenerator? So I think he's done it. He's done himself a solid counter to call.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

But it made me think, what would your stage name be? Vogue. Now, Vogue is quite stagey anyway, but it's your first pet and your mother's maiden name.

[Vogue Williams]

Monkey Cassidy. That's quite a good name, I think. Monkey Cassidy.

[Joanne McNally]

Really good name.

[Vogue Williams]

Who was my first cast called Monkey because she liked climbing trees.

[Joanne McNally]

Great idea. Mine. Mine would be Topaz Corkery.

[Vogue Williams]

Topaz Corkery. That's a good name as well.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah. First octopus.

[Vogue Williams]

That sounds a bit. That sounds a bit like a.

[Joanne McNally]

Like stripper. Yes, it's a good one. What would yours be, Joe?

[Joe]

Floyd Fippin.

[Vogue Williams]

That sounds a bit aggressive. I don't know why. Floyd Fipping.

[Joanne McNally]

That's sexy. I don't want to see her coming down the pile. No, I'd watch Topaz Corkery and Monkey Cassidy, but I wouldn't be looking at flow pads. Flipping.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm not turned on by Faux Pas. What. What's it called again?

[Joanne McNally]

Put it away. Put it away.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, Jesus. Put some clothes on. Well, that is it for this week and Joanne McNally is on tour.

[Joanne McNally]

Anybody at all. Anyone at all is.

[Vogue Williams]

I mean, loads of people are going, is there anybody else?

[Joanne McNally]

Any single thing?

[Vogue Williams]

And I would like to thank everybody because my book was an Irish Times book bestseller, which I really wasn't expecting and can't believe it. So thank you. Thank you. Two weeks in a row now, big mouth. It's out. If you would like to. To read it. It is out. There's a link in my bio. And again, I honestly, I can't thank you enough, Sam.