Lady Lambeth

Summary

Podcast Summary
My Therapist Ghosted Me – "Lady Lambeth"
Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
Date: July 3, 2026
Duration: ~44 minutes

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Episode Overview

This week on "My Therapist Ghosted Me," Vogue and Joanne return for their signature blend of hilarity and honesty, riffing on everything from recycling woes to party planning, money insecurities, animal dramas, and chemical enlightenment (aka mushrooms). The episode centers around domestic absurdities and London living, with comedic detours into class, privilege, parenting, and celebrity culture. The banter is quick, irreverent, and deeply personal, with both hosts trading self-deprecating stories and sharp-witted observations.

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Key Discussion Points and Segment Timestamps

1. Domestic Disasters & Bin Collection Pride

Timestamps: 00:34 – 07:55

• Joanne's "mega news" is her successful bin collection in Lambeth, after fretting over proper recycling.
• Both hosts mock the convoluted UK waste system and compare their housing situations:
  • Joanne: "You'll milk me dry. I won't have an ounce of milk left in the tit." (01:21)
  • Vivid debate over wheelie bins vs. traditional bins, with Vogue lamenting landlord choices and Joanne decrying her lack of land.
• Joanne details the anxiety and competitive spirit triggered by the "bin men" scrutinizing her recycling habits:
  • "It was like Einstein trying to solve gravity... I was like Rain Man doing the maths." (06:05)
  • “I was on the edge of my toilet seat, I can tell you.” (06:55)
• Comedy about adulting/housing privilege and “becoming mums” via bin obsession.

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2. Motherhood, Mice, and Murky Presents

Timestamps: 07:56 – 13:16

• Vogue gifts Joanne a unique present: a pregnancy sculpture of her own body as a keepsake.
  • "I'm going to give you one of my pregnant bodies and you can have that forever." (12:20, Vogue)
  • Joke about sculptures being like "unsolicited nudes." (13:17, Joe)
• The house is “a zoo” with three women, a dog, a mouse (“he’s working down there—leave him!” 11:51), and mouse chat:
  • Vogue is unbothered by mice, Joanne has already called for traps, and they joke about classic London pest problems.

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3. School Pets, Animal Anecdotes & Social Chit-Chat

Timestamps: 13:17 – 16:08

• Conversation drifts to childhood school pets (hamsters, bunnies, turtles) and self-diagnosed “zoo” status.
• Joanne reminisces about pigeons mating in her old flat (“the male pigeon starts clapping after he comes”—15:05).
• Vogue shares bizarre facts about hyenas’ anatomy, prompting mock-fact-checking.

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4. “Cool Moms,” Holidays, & Party Planning

Timestamps: 16:09 – 24:22

• Spirited chat on what makes a “cool mom” and “yummy mummy” culture (lululemon jokes, hosting duties, party anxiety).
• Upcoming events: Grand Prix, Wimbledon, Gigi’s kids party planned with water guns and potion sets.
  • “I don’t do party bags… I buy them one gift each.” (23:40, Vogue)
  • “You’re going to waterboard the kids for the afternoon!” (24:03, Joanne)
• Joanne invited/inadvertently, with plans for champagne and chaos.

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5. Vigilante Vibes & Litter Policing

Timestamps: 24:23 – 27:00

• Vogue turns “vigilante” when she confronts a school-girl littering; threatens to tell her principal.
  • “Excuse me, will you pick up your rubbish there? That's not a bin.” (24:38)
  • “Am I going too far? I think I’m actually going to get a slap in the face soon.” (25:57)
• Anecdotes about friends who leave notes on SUVs—a full "Neighbourhood Watch" moment.

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6. Wimbledon, Celebs, and Outfits

Timestamps: 27:01 – 29:45

• Ace gossip about who’s at Wimbledon, including David Beckham’s much-Instagrammed catch.
• Debate about royals, royal events, and the dread (or delight) of being seen as “posh.”
  • “I wouldn’t engage with the royals or their boxes.” (29:02, Joanne)

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7. Money Matters, Status, and Class

Timestamps: 29:46 – 32:15

• Joanne reflects awkwardly on a podcast clip about paying on dates:
  • “I was mortified to admit that I have an income… I always enjoyed being the underdog.” (31:47, Joanne)
• The two swap confessions about class guilt, marital accents, and being dragged “down” or “up” by partners’ backgrounds.

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8. Wine Crimes & Party Stories

Timestamps: 32:16 – 34:22

• Vogue shares a “crime against wine”—a jilted woman destroying $2.7 million worth of wine at a Spanish winery.
  • “She should have urinated in them all and let them bottle it and sell it!” (33:13, Joanne)
• Plans for kids’ parties, gifting wine, and “underage” rose for Gigi’s friends as a running gag.

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9. Mushrooms, Microdosing, & Ayahuasca

Timestamps: 34:23 – 41:29

• A deep comedic dive into news about magic mushrooms reversing cellular aging:
  • “Well, I’m in charge of Lambeth and I’ve legalized them here.” (35:25, Joanne as Lady Lambeth)
  • “It’s a vegetable. So it’s part of your five a day.” (35:52, Vogue)
• Vogue lists (dubious) therapeutic benefits; both riff on the suburban “mom groups” microdosing and “broadening horizons.”
• Joanne vows to do ayahuasca before 2027, debating whether to trip in Lambeth or Costa Rica (expense it for “content”).
  • “Wait till you see me when I come back.” (40:50, Joanne)

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10. Taxes, Writing Things Off, and Showbiz

Timestamps: 41:30 – End

• Extended bit about “writing things off,” referencing Schitt’s Creek’s David Rose:
  • “‘What are you doing with the day?’ ‘Mostly just writing things off, really.’”
  • “If I write stuff off—big trouble. I wouldn’t be writing stuff off.” (44:07)
• Party invites, drops, and who-doesn’t-get-invited-to-what—a running joke.
• Joanne plugs her new panel show “Unacceptable” on TLC, waxing anxious about the premiere and public appearances.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Joanne (on bin pride): “It was like Einstein trying to solve gravity… I was like Rain Man doing the maths.” (06:05)
• Vogue (on presents): “I’m going to give you one of my pregnant bodies and you can have that forever.” (12:20)
• Joe (producer, on nude sculptures): “If you didn’t want it, it’s sort of like unsolicited nudes, isn’t it?” (13:17)
• Joanne (on pigeons): "The male pigeon starts clapping after he comes." (15:05)
• Vogue (on mom vigilantism): "Excuse me, will you pick up your rubbish there? That's not a bin." (24:38)
• Joanne (on mushroom legality): "Well, I'm in charge of Lambeth and I've legalized them here." (35:25)
• Vogue (justifying mushrooms): "It's a vegetable. So it's part of your five a day." (35:52)
• Joanne (about ayahuasca): "Wait till you see me when I come back." (40:50)
• Joanne (taxes): "'Mostly just writing things off, really.' What do you do once it’s said? You can’t unsay it and it's written off—that's it!" (41:10)

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Episode Highlights

• Wildly funny, self-aware exchanges about recycling, home life, and local bureaucracy.
• Running joke about class, poshness, and “Lady Lambeth.”
• Brilliant, relatable anecdotes on motherhood—oscillating between wanting to be the “cool mom” and craving silent, wine-filled escapes.
• Tangents on celebrity culture (Beckhams, Wimbledon) and playful sniping about who’s invited or left out.
• Satirical lessons on drugs, taxes, and “writing things off” as a millennial creative.

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For Listeners

If you like candid friendship, urban absurdities, and deeply unserious takes on serious subjects, "Lady Lambeth" is a laugh-out-loud episode brimming with comedy gold, social commentary, and the genuine chemistry that makes Joanne and Vogue such a beloved double act.

Note: As ever, skip to segments as needed for bins (00:34), motherhood (07:56), mice/pets (09:21), parties (22:13), and psychoactive fun (34:23) for your favorite flavor of mayhem.

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Transcript

[Grainger Announcer]

Grainger knows. When you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail, filters ready to clog H Vac on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering and 24. 7 support. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click grainger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.

[Joanna]

This is a global production.

[Joanne]

You're a mother.

[Joanna]

I'm a. I'm a mother.

[Joanne]

You're a milf.

[Joanna]

Oh, thank you.

[Joanne]

Are we late or. We're not talking about it.

[Joanna]

What you want to say about it? Go on, say it. She is trying to make me unrelatable again. No, I won't have it. No, not she. Well, not when she sits on this plot of land.

[Joanne]

Hello and welcome home. Hello and welcome home to you.

[Joanna]

How are you feeling?

[Joanne]

I feel great. I really do. How do you feel?

[Joanna]

I feel shy, but I'm really happy to be here.

[Joanne]

Well, enough about you. I have huge news.

[Joanna]

Okay.

[Joanne]

It's mega.

[Joanna]

You're doing another 3Arena.

[Joanne]

No, that's not the news.

[Joanna]

I know. I'm waiting for you to just tell me or not because I'm waiting to decide which date I'm going with all my friends and I need seven tickets.

[Joanne]

You'll get your seven tickets. You know you will. You'll milk me dry. I won't have an ounce of milk left in the tit. I should just put on the third arena for your family and friends.

[Joanna]

I think that you should. I can fill it for you. What is it? 9,000 people? I'll feel that.

[Joanne]

I think you would easy just with your aunts and they'd all love.

[Joanna]

It'd be your favorite show.

[Joanne]

It actually would occasional. I'm bringing them up on stage and it'll be great Crack. Big news.

[Joanna]

Bigger than the 3 arena.

[Joanne]

Bigger than the 3.

[Joanna]

Okay, go on.

[Joanne]

They collect my BS

[Joanna]

now. I have to say I'm not surprised cuz I did get out of my car and I actually looked in the bins.

[Joanne]

I saw you, I watched you rumage. I said she's not going to be able to help herself. She's going to lift the lid there and I actually pulled it back into the driveway cuz I was like I don't want to ruin the big surprise. But you found the bin anyway and your r. Your.

[Joanna]

As soon as I got out I was like, God, the Uber driver was probably looking at me like, why is she looking in that person's face?

[Joanne]

Yes, I saw you on the ring doorbell. I was. Watch it out.

[Joanna]

I was so excited.

[Joanne]

Who's that pregnant woman in the bit?

[Joanna]

Oh, it's only cuz my bins got collected today. I was coming up to Glo.

[Joanne]

Imagine you brought your empty wheelie bin.

[Joanna]

I don't even have a wheelie bin.

[Joanne]

Do you not?

[Joanna]

No, I have like bin bins.

[Joanne]

Like, you know, like, like exactly.

[Joe]

Metal dust bin.

[Joanna]

No, it's not metal. It's black, but like Sesame street. But black plastic. They're not my bins, they're my landlords. Yeah, I know. I don't know why he doesn't have. Because it's very small. The area at the front.

[Joanne]

Oh, but it's not a size.

[Joanna]

I don't have acreage. Like you ate the front.

[Joanne]

I see what you're doing here. Oh, I see what you're doing.

[Joanna]

Do you know we're squeezed in.

[Joanne]

You know then actually, you know what I actually want. I actually want to talk to you about something that happened during the week that I was like. I don't know why I feel so weird about that. But before. It's about money. Before we get to that, I. Yesterday I was like, okay, it's. I've obviously had to go private with the bins, as you know.

[Joanna]

Oh, so is this a private collection?

[Joanne]

No, no, that was. This was a public collection.

[Joanna]

Okay.

[Joanne]

This is the lads.

[Joanna]

Okay. The lads are. The lads are here.

[Joe]

Free at the point of use.

[Joanna]

How much money was on top of the bins?

[Joanne]

I know. Yeah.

[Joanna]

How did you make friends?

[Joanne]

I have a hairline fracture in my arm from the mental hand jobs I had to do this morning to get those things across the line. I am exhausted, so sorry if I don't have a lot of energy today.

[Joanna]

Fair. Completely. Who does hand jobs anymore? I do.

[Joanne]

That's what the lads wanted, is that

[Joanna]

there's only one leg.

[Joanne]

We're taking these bins. You know what to do. I don't think anyone's. No, just recycle properly.

[Joanna]

Anyone over the age of 25 that's doing hand jobs. Fair play to you, Joe. That's not. You included. We know you're doing them.

[Joanne]

Do you not. Do you not. Do you not. Do you think they are at age hand jobs?

[Joanna]

It'd be a very rare thing to do a hand job. I'd be in for other stuff before the hand job. Yeah, yeah. He would prefer other stuff. Just feel like they can do it better anyway.

[Joanne]

So, yes, you're right. Why take the job from the person, you know what I mean, who can do it better? You shouldn't be taking the job.

[Joanna]

He doesn't want a hand job, you

[Joanne]

know, just another white woman stealing employment from someone else. Let him wipe himself up. He's better at it. It's his thing. Let him do it. You shouldn't. You're right. You're right. You are coming from a position of privilege and it's not fair because it

[Joanna]

disappears under my hand. I told you that.

[Joanne]

Oh, yes.

[Joanna]

It's massive.

[Joanne]

Yeah. God, does he mind? Anyway, sorry. So yesterday, right, he doesn't see any of it.

[Joanna]

Thank God he's not on Instagram anymore, so he doesn't see my new ride of the week.

[Joanne]

So yesterday I came in, I said, you on? It's time to woman up here now. And get these. Get this job across the line. So I. I chatted to Chachi Beauty for a little bit, and I was like, break this down for me. I gave it my postcode, my address. I said, what do I have to do? What goes in each bin? Break it down. Yeah.

[Joanna]

What is it? Because you're in lat, you say Lambeth. Lambeth's massive, John.

[Joanne]

I know, but I wouldn't buy. I wouldn't bother.

[Joanna]

You said. You said you'd live in Clapham.

[Joanne]

Is it fine? I don't know. I'm not from here.

[Joe]

I live in England.

[Joanne]

That's all I know.

[Joanna]

Don't say London. And I live in the England area. Yeah, I live in England. County England.

[Joanne]

I don't know.

[Joanna]

Don't say lamoth. She's practically giving her a postcode on this podcast.

[Joanne]

It's wild how little I know about this country, considering I've been here nearly five years. So anyway, last night I was like, right, I went in and I, I. When I say. I was like Einstein trying to solve gravity, I was like. It was like, do you remember your man? Do you remember the film Rain Man? No. The math one.

[Joanna]

Oh, with. With Russell crowe.

[Joe]

No. Apollo 13.

[Joanne]

Nope. That's not a mat.

[Joanna]

That's House sitter. With House. Yes. How's it

[Joanne]

Marvel 3? Yes.

[Joanna]

What are the lads who do the.

[Joanne]

Well, good hunting.

[Joanna]

Ah, yes, that's the one. Yeah. Okay.

[Joanne]

Remember he did the big sum on the board? That was me. And then I woke up this morning, I heard the truck coming. I told them I was open, and I got up and I watched from the bathroom window. And he came over and he's like, Genuinely, he didn't. He looked. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He rustled like you. He rustled through. You could see him checking to see had I done it correctly.

[Joanna]

Got a name for yourself?

[Joanne]

Got a name for myself in the Lambat area. Apparently. That's where I live.

[Joanna]

She's just gonna start telling people she's from London.

[Joanne]

I am. I, I. Yeah, I. I am a graded Lambeth. I don't know, it's about 33, 34. It's a long time ago now, anyway. And I said, oh, my God. I was on the edge of my toilet seat, I can tell you. And then he. I was like, is he gonna do it? He's gonna do it. And I. I could see. Yeah. And then he. It was like slow mo. I could hear the national anthem of Lambeth playing as he just emptied the bin in. But he. He was. He was looking for an excuse not to take it.

[Joanna]

Oh, wow.

[Joanne]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joanna]

Fair play. I like that. They're so thorough.

[Joanne]

Do you? Do you?

[Joanna]

I do. Because I think people on me. People like you ruin recycling for the rest of the world. Why do you think we're in a heat wave? You. You and your bloody right dirty pots.

[Joanne]

It is. It's like the bin. It's my yoga cartons. It's nothing to do with Fossil. It's me in the Lambeth areas.

[Joanna]

It is.

[Joanne]

It's me in the Lambeth area.

[Joanna]

I've started using coal again. Because it is you. Yeah.

[Joanne]

There's no point. Yeah. So anyway, when I say it was. It was a. It was great relief.

[Joanna]

Well, I'm really happy for you.

[Joanne]

Thank you.

[Joanna]

What has happened to me this week?

[Joanne]

I love that you actually checked on your way.

[Joanna]

And then Joanne. Joanne said to me. She accused me of being a mom and I was like, oh, my God. I didn't think you saw me like that. But then actually I did come and look at your pins.

[Joanne]

Accused her, but you know what I mean?

[Joanna]

I don't want to be like, oh, there's that, Ma.

[Joanne]

No, I know. You're not a man.

[Joanna]

No, I'm wearing, like, tiger tracers. I'm not a man.

[Joanne]

You're a mother.

[Joanna]

I'm a. I'm a mother.

[Joanne]

You're a milf.

[Joanna]

Oh, thank you.

[Joanne]

You're a yummy mommy. You're a dulu Lemon.

[Joanna]

I appreciate that. So, my week. What has been. Oh, my God. I got you a present.

[Joanne]

Is it a Dyson Hoover?

[Joanna]

No.

[Joanne]

Is it a facial?

[Joanna]

You have a thousand Hoovers every. Everywhere I look, there's a Hoover in the Corner.

[Joanne]

I love. I love hoovering.

[Joanna]

Here, Joe, Is that your coffee? Look how nice that looks.

[Joanne]

I. I did order large. If Joe was listening from Joe and the Juice. I did order large. I don't know why they're so small. Is it just because they're in your hand? Are they actually large?

[Joanna]

It's actually a full pint.

[Joanne]

It's a full pint, yeah.

[Joe]

That's two liters.

[Joanna]

Do you know, Amber tries to stack my hands and I'm like, hang on a second. You're only five foot eight and you've got massive bloke hands and hers don't even look as feminine as mine.

[Joanne]

She's got a great body.

[Joanna]

Tits are muscle right now.

[Joanne]

So our iced coffees have just arrived. I am hosting my tits off this morning. I have three people downstairs.

[Joanna]

It has taken six weeks now. This is the first coffee I've been offered.

[Joanne]

Yeah, I have three women downstairs.

[Joanna]

And a dog.

[Joanne]

And a dog. And a mouse. There's a mouse in the house. Is there definitely a mouse for Joe, madam, this morning?

[Grainger Announcer]

Really A little.

[Joanne]

Nice.

[Joanna]

Just one.

[Joe]

Are you all right about mice?

[Joanna]

I don't mind mice at all.

[Joe]

Now directly underneath you.

[Joanne]

Oh, I know.

[Joanna]

Shit's probably nervous.

[Joanne]

I. I don't really care. I should. I thought he'd moved out. I did have a suspicion he was here.

[Joe]

He does sound like he's sort of nibbling stuff, so he probably does have to go because otherwise your house might.

[Joanna]

I know, but I. It's not great. The problem is I wouldn't leave a poison because then he'll go somewhere and die. And then there's the stench of dead mouse. That's the worst.

[Joanne]

I. I'm sorry to say I just did. I ordered a couple of traps.

[Joanna]

Traps are better than poison because it's quick. It's. It's. It's just done.

[Joanne]

Mom. I said to my mom, she was like. I was like, I think I'm amazed. She goes, don't tell anybody.

[Joanna]

Why?

[Joanne]

She's like, people will judge you. No.

[Joanna]

You live in London. Everyone has a maze.

[Grainger Announcer]

Everyone.

[Joanne]

If you don't have a maze, it's weird.

[Joanna]

If you don't have rats and mice in London, like, hello, I live alone.

[Joanne]

I wouldn't mind the company. I'll leave them there for a while.

[Joanna]

It's the nice. Now I swear I hear it. It's the nice garden that you have.

[Joanne]

He sounds like he's typing down there, doesn't he?

[Joe]

Yeah, he's doing.

[Joanne]

He sounds like he's typing.

[Joanna]

You could have a pet. M. I was offered a gerbil for the summer. No, a hamster.

[Joanne]

Is that the school? Do you remember when you're in school and they give you the hamster for the summer?

[Joanna]

Yeah, but it's somebody in the class's hamster that they're offering up. And I'm like, I don't. I'm just worried about taking the hamster in case then the kids want a hamster and I don't want a full time hamster.

[Joanne]

Do you have to do the hamster thing in Lambeth? In county England?

[Joe]

As in, I don't know if they still do it now in schools.

[Joanne]

I don't know if they do it now anymore. It was big.

[Joanna]

Do what, Theodore?

[Joe]

Or.

[Joanna]

No, Otto. Otto has two bunnies. Fortin, Fortnum and Mason.

[Joe]

Well. And they let them take them home.

[Joanna]

Well, I don't know what happens to the bunnies. And I don't take the bunnies. And they have turtles as well.

[Joanne]

You mean in his class?

[Joanna]

In his class, yeah.

[Joanne]

Wow. Oh, my God. Wow.

[Joanna]

They're nice bunnies. I have to say, we had.

[Joanne]

We had acorns. And one hamster that I'm pretty sure died every three weeks and was replaced.

[Grainger Announcer]

Grainger knows. When you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail, filters ready to clog H Vac on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Granger for quality products, easy reordering and 24. 7 support. Call 1-800-granger click granger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.

[Joanne]

Sorry.

[Joanna]

Park.

[Joanne]

All this animal chat, this. I. I'm basically running a zoo. I have a chihuahua downstairs and a mouse under the.

[Joanna]

I hear the mouse. I definitely hear the mouse typing.

[Joanne]

He's working down there. Leave him.

[Joanna]

He's working.

[Joanne]

Leave him off. Come here. She said she had a present for me.

[Joanna]

Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. So in honor of. Not. No, I haven't got it yet. In honor of not ever being pregnant again, I had a body scan this weekend. Yeah.

[Joanne]

Oh, my God. Are you giving me your womb tits and all?

[Joanna]

I'm gonna give you, like, See that. That body over there? I'm gonna give you one of my pregnant bodies and you can have that forever.

[Joanne]

Hold on, hold on.

[Joanna]

Would you like.

[Joanne]

Whoa. Sorry. I was. Sorry, I was distracted by the noisy one.

[Joanna]

I'm giving you a nude.

[Joanne]

Are you Do. Are you having your body painted?

[Joanna]

No, I show you.

[Joanne]

Are you having your body turned into a pot?

[Joanna]

No, my body is being turned into. Did I take a phone? I did take a phone. Look, I'll find them there. She was a lovely girl.

[Joanne]

Who was that? Will you Google who was the. Was it Demi Moore or Demi Moore? Who did the pregnant. Oh, and she was front of Vogue or Cosmo.

[Joanna]

But wait, Velvet and Fox, they're in Ireland and they do a pregnancy sculpture. It's a sculpture.

[Joanne]

Are you going on the front of the Word to you guys?

[Joanna]

No, I'm just getting one for your house. For you.

[Joanne]

I would.

[Joanna]

And you can be like, there's Vogue.

[Joanne]

Is it going to be actually you, though? Because.

[Joanna]

And I thought, I'll get two.

[Joanne]

I'd honestly love that. Honestly. Joe, do you want one? Look,

[Joanna]

I think Joe's wife might be a bit freaked out if he arrives home with a pregnancy statue of me.

[Joe]

It's good that you want it because in a way, if you didn't, it's sort of like unsolicited nudes, isn't it? It's like.

[Joanna]

Yeah.

[Joe]

I didn't consent.

[Joanna]

I honestly was getting it done. I thought to myself, Joanna, like, that.

[Joanne]

I actually would. Can I have a yellow one?

[Joanna]

You can have the bright. No, no, it has to be bronze. Black or white?

[Joanne]

Maybe black, white. Sorry. I'm delighted for you that you're documenting your.

[Joanna]

Well, because that's the last one.

[Joanne]

Yeah.

[Joanna]

I'm just making sure, like, this is the nail in the coffin. It's the last one. It's not happening.

[Joanne]

You haven't really acknowledged the fact that I asked if you were going nude on the front of the Word to

[Joanna]

your guide as soon as they asked me to. I'm going full nude.

[Joanne]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Joanna]

Just with a leaf over the front.

[Joanne]

Yeah. Thank you. Just you and the Fair Cities storylines down the side. I can't wait.

[Joanna]

I'm doing a hello mag Shoes like

[Joe]

the TV Times, but for Ireland. I'm imagining. Yeah.

[Joanna]

I'm doing the hello Mike shooting. They've asked if I'll go news.

[Joanne]

Are you doing hello?

[Joanna]

No, I'm not. Oh, why don't you do it? You're going to Wimbledon with them today. No, I don't think. Are you going to Wimbledon and Harry Styles is today and who is.

[Joanne]

No, I'm not. I'm gonna have to come home after Wimbledon, have a little nap and then go back into Harry Styles because I want to see Shania as well. So it's going to be a very early start for me.

[Joanna]

So who, who, who going to all these things?

[Joanne]

So Sophie's coming to Wimbledon with me. Yeah, I'm going with hello Mag, like we did before and then.

[Joanna]

Are you going into that nice area or no?

[Joanne]

Yes, go into the nice area. Yeah, I'm a posh now. I'm posh. Don't tell them about the mouse.

[Joanna]

Where? The bins.

[Joanne]

That's why I have a mouse, Joe.

[Joe]

Because they haven't.

[Joanne]

Because they wouldn't collect bins.

[Joe]

It's not your fault.

[Joanna]

Listen, they were cardboard bins. It's nothing to do with the mouse. It's your garden. You never close your door. It's your garden. You're gonna have birds in here as well. Soon I saw a girl and there was a pigeon in her house when she woke up because she'd left the windows open because it was too hot.

[Joanne]

I'd love a pigeon. Do you remember I came back from the States and the two pigeons were riding at the back on the. In the old apartment. And your man. I only knew they were there because the male pigeon starts clapping after he comes. Do you remember that? I was like, what is that noise? And he was like. And she was just lying there looking at him. And I was like, this is a terrible one. And they, they clap well after they've sex, the pigeons. And then as soon as they knew I was home, they liked it, they moved out. I was like, jesus, you, you should, you should. Yeah, you should.

[Joanna]

Have you ever seen hyenas? I told Amber about hyenas. Female hyenas basically have like what looks like a giant flaccid penis that just like hangs around and flaps around the place. And that's where the male hyena has sex. And then it's meant to be the most painful birth because then the female hyena gives birth through this long chew. God, they're not great looking animals, are they?

[Joanne]

They really are. I don't need to fact check that, Joe.

[Joanna]

No, I swear to God.

[Joanne]

It's okay. It's okay.

[Joanna]

The only person that needs to be fact checked in this room is you. You don't even know how to do your own. People keep spitting on me this week.

[Joanne]

It's like it for luck.

[Joanna]

No. So I was at the races on Sunday and I was standing there and it was really windy and someone was trying to put my hair down. And she goes, someone was trying to. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, wipe my head.

[Joanne]

And I said, yeah, yeah.

[Joanna]

I don't think that you know me. I don't Even share drinks. I cannot bear.

[Joanne]

Yeah.

[Joanna]

Any spit from anyone near me, particularly not on my head. Yeah.

[Joanne]

I'm gonna ask you. My mother.

[Joanna]

No, no. Not even my mother. I don't want anyone spit in my head. And then spending. Tried to do it to me yesterday. I'm like, why is everyone spitting this week?

[Joanne]

He is your husband. I mean, I'm not one to, I don't want to.

[Joanna]

So I have to go around with someone's smelly space hair.

[Joanne]

I remember Nikki, who's actually downstairs, who I do anxious preoccup. I was doing a photo shoot and like, full, you know, full glam and everything. And I did little, like, fly away. And Nikki, the same thing. She licked her fingers and tried to pat down my pat on my hair. And I was like, nikki, no, I've gotten glam. I'm like, but she's a mom like you. It's an instinct.

[Joanna]

I, I, I don't spit in people's heads. I just think it's wrong. And your spit smells. I'm actually going to Wimbledon next week, so without competition. And I got. But we are actually. Yeah. Who's playing Joanne today? Who are you going to see?

[Joanne]

I knew you'd do this to me. I knew you'd do this. And so I'm not taking the base. Tennis is playing. That's what's playing. And I'm gonna watch the tennis.

[Joanna]

How much tennis are you gonna watch? You so excited.

[Joanne]

I'm gonna, I'm gonna watch all you must know.

[Joanna]

But I saw you posting about Naomi the saka and her outfits, which is so cool.

[Joanne]

Naomi. What's her name?

[Joanna]

Naomi Osaka.

[Joanne]

I'm Naomi Osaka. Look at her outfit.

[Joanna]

That's Serena Williams. Insane.

[Joanne]

I know.

[Joanna]

Why is Serena Williams back?

[Joanne]

Well, I guess because she's like, one of the best tennis players in the world. She just would like. Do you think that she should be?

[Joanna]

No, but I just thought, like, I, I just thought she'd be like, right, I'm done now. I've done my tennis thing.

[Joanne]

I know, but she's like, I think there's some people who will kind of give up when they feel they have enough money and they are ready to do it. And there's other people who will work until they'll work. You will work yourself into the grave. Oh, I'll be happily so.

[Joanna]

Well, no, I won't be. There'll be more holidays.

[Joanne]

If you'll be collabing on your deathbest,

[Joanna]

I'll be, I'll be fitting in some more holidays.

[Joanne]

You're like, Dua Lip.

[Joanna]

I'm gonna.

[Joanne]

No one goes on holidays more than you.

[Joanna]

And I don't even get offended when people are like, she's on holidays again. I'm like, yeah, I know. But I also. I worked to go on holidays. Let me get her notes.

[Joanne]

Google who's playing today, will you?

[Joe]

There's an Italian guy called Sinner.

[Joanne]

I love him. Yeah. What is he? What's he. Is he in the main course?

[Joanna]

Did you see who was.

[Joanne]

Is he center course? Fantastic.

[Joanna]

Did you see who was playing?

[Joanne]

Sorry to interrupt you, but I'm sorry now.

[Joanna]

Yeah, I know what you're going to say.

[Joe]

Who was.

[Joanna]

Who was in the royal box?

[Joanne]

Did you see David Beckham catching the tennis ball with one hand?

[Joanna]

No, I saw. I did see David Beckham in the

[Joanne]

royal box, yeah, he was in the royal box. Someone hit the ball up, obviously, one of the players, I'm assuming, and he put his hand up and he's caught it with one. I was like, off. Take a day off, will you? Take a day off?

[Joanna]

David Beckham is becoming really loved by the younger gang now. Not. It's not just. It's not our generation.

[Joanne]

Cool kids. Now he's got cool kids.

[Joanna]

Yeah, but I fancy him. Yeah. All the younger people fancy David Beckham. And I just think, you know what? Back off. Right?

[Joanne]

He's pickled. Like, he hasn't.

[Joanna]

Did you see?

[Joanne]

She's the same. She hasn't aged. She is like. I don't know, like, she is. I mean, that's who.

[Joanna]

Oh, Victoria.

[Joanne]

They.

[Joanna]

Just.

[Joanne]

The two of them, They're. They're Right. They know they are. They know they're. They know they're Right.

[Joanna]

Here's a story I heard that's probably complete, but, like, I'll say it anyway. Supposedly, David and Victoria were nearly breaking up at one point, and David was a bit naughty, and she was also naughty, supposedly.

[Joanne]

Are we going down this road?

[Joanna]

This is.

[Joanne]

I'm sorry. Victoria, if you're listening, I want nothing to do with this. I. I want nothing to do with this. I do feel I'm going to meet her one day and. I'm sorry, I do feel like we are going to get on and I don't want to be brought down with you talking about their marriage. So, Victoria, if you're listening, I have nothing to do with this.

[Joanna]

Victoria won't want to touch off. You've got a mess. You've got a masonry. She's not gonna want to be around you.

[Joanne]

Sorry. She Listen to Cotswolds, okay. She's very Used to animals.

[Joanna]

Look how lovey and dovey they are all the time now. It's like they have rekindled. It's like they're going back to being teenagers.

[Joanne]

They do have a bang of makeup sex off them at all times.

[Joanna]

Yeah.

[Joanne]

Yeah.

[Joanna]

And I love her. And I love. I love. I love both of them equally.

[Joanne]

Yeah, I love them too. I was. There was. Oh, yeah. Speaking of makeup sex. Of a segue. Another way my stanos turned into seven girthy, fat dreads. Yeah.

[Joanna]

Look like you still have them in your hair.

[Joanne]

I feel bald after it. I feel. Really.

[Joanna]

You literally have enough for three people's hair in your head.

[Joanne]

I feel really bald. I'm full of.

[Joanna]

I actually think you should be off the Minoxidil. You've got too much hair.

[Joanne]

The Minoxidil for the hairline.

[Joanna]

Okay.

[Joanne]

Because unlike Leandre's.

[Joe]

There he is again.

[Joanna]

Did you see they adopted a dog.

[Joanne]

Unlikely. Andrew's. I can't grow my hairline back by doing hard time in a Dubai prison.

[Joanna]

I could sort that out for you if you wanted.

[Joanne]

Are we allowed or. We're not talking about it.

[Joanna]

What you want to say about it? Go on, say it.

[Joe]

We. Let's make money out of it. She has to pay each of us ten quid.

[Joanna]

If you want to talk about him. Pay for a parking. This place is a rip off.

[Joanne]

I know. I sent you a message. I had a handyman in the other day doing some bits and bobs.

[Joanna]

I told you seven.

[Joanne]

He sent me the bill and I said, God, that's kind of spicy. So I looked at it. £70 parking. £70.

[Joanna]

I had to pay 20 quid. Why do you think I'm always cycling up here? Now, I refuse to do it. I don't mind paying money for something, but it's not worth 20 quid. I'm not in the middle of Soho.

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[Joanna]

So when I tell you what I'm doing this week, I haven't told you I'm going to the Grand Prix on Saturday and then I'm going to Wimbledon. I'm doing loads of day events.

[Joanne]

Lovely.

[Joanna]

Well, now I'm only going to qualifying because it's Gigi's birthday. I forgot. I have everything organized for Sunday. I'm doing a party for her and I forgot. And I'd booked to go to the Grand Prix on Sunday. And that's when he was like, are we not meant to be at Gigi's party? And I was like, you are correct.

[Joanne]

So what, have you canceled the party?

[Joanna]

Cancel the party yet? Cancel cheese? No, I did not.

[Joanne]

Kids are great. They don't know when their birthday is. You could just tell them.

[Joanna]

So the party I've organized, there's someone going to do hair braids and everything.

[Joanne]

No, auburn. I could come up in the mouse. You like a patting.

[Joanna]

We have a little circus with Joanne.

[Joanne]

Yeah, I'll bring the mace and the Chihuahua downstairs. Yeah, I'll bring the honor.

[Joanna]

You are. I've invited you.

[Joanne]

I'll bring that. Did you. I didn't see any of that.

[Joanna]

I did invite you on the podcast.

[Joe]

Podcast?

[Joanna]

On the podcast. Yeah, I didn't see any invite coming in. Would you get lost? We don't do. It's Patreon Post.

[Joanne]

Do you remember the old school? Do you remember the. Oh, my God. Do you remember you going to school and you'd get the little birthday invites and they'd be all the fancy paper. Oh, so cute. And then your mom would put it on the fridge and then you go to the party and you bring a present and you get it and you get a party bag at the end

[Joanna]

full of like, I don't do party bags. I've said that before. I don't do them.

[Joanne]

God, you're very tight.

[Joanna]

No, it's not about being tight.

[Joanne]

I give a full big gift Bear by Vogue.

[Joanna]

She's like, for all the kids now with the serum. Don't forget to wash your hands after. No, I give a gift because I'm not.

[Joanne]

I don't know what it is.

[Joanna]

I buy them one gift each. So they're all going home with, like a potion making set. So they have one thing instead of like a paper airplane and a lollipop and like, stuff that they won't actually use. I give them one present each that they all get to take home. And because it's 30 degrees, I'm getting buckets of, like, I have these big buckets boxes that I'm going to fill up with water. And I've bought water guns so they can all have a Water gun fight at the end.

[Joanne]

You're gonna waterboard the kids for the afternoon. I'd go to that. I'd go that for the potion and the waterboarding.

[Joanna]

I want you to come towards the end. I'll have to order.

[Joanne]

I am actually, I am actually free on Saturday.

[Joanna]

No, it's on Sunday.

[Joanne]

I believe I am also free on Sunday.

[Joanna]

Come on Sunday there's going to be champagne and wine.

[Joe]

I think you might be free on Sunday.

[Joanne]

I'm free on Sunday.

[Joanna]

You're free on Sunday.

[Joanne]

I do love a little, I do love a little glass of champagne on Sunday. You can pop down and, and I will want my potion at the end.

[Joanna]

I will get you a new box potion. I've also. Do you know what else I've been doing this week? I'm turning into a vigilante. I'm gonna stop. It's happened again.

[Joanne]

Are you complaining? What are you doing?

[Joanna]

No, I'm just turning into one of those people. Like I'm gonna start setting up a bike and going around filming people on their phones in their cars soon because like it's just, it's. I'm going too far. I'm actually gonna get a slap in the face. I think soon. I was basically walking back from the kids school again and this girl, but she was like 16 or 17 and she just threw two pieces of rubbish and I, and I was like excuse me, will you pick up your rubbish there? That's not a bin.

[Joanne]

Maybe she's in the Lambeth County Council. She's trying to get rid of the. That they won't collect even though she's paying her council tax.

[Joanna]

She was like no. And she kept walking on. I was like, okay, cool. I'm just gonna go to your school with you then and then I'll tell your principal that you threw the rubbish there.

[Joanne]

Hold on, hold on, hold on. What age Was this person?

[Joanna]

16 or 17.

[Joanne]

And she was in a uniform.

[Joanna]

And she was in a uniform.

[Joanne]

And she was near the school.

[Joanna]

Near the school area. Yeah. So I was like, okay cool, I'll just go to your school and tell your principal that you're just littering on the road.

[Joanne]

Sorry. I love how you open his podcast. Like I'm not a normal mom. I'm like a cool.

[Joanna]

This is more like a vigilante thing I've started. But then I was like. And Spenny was like, well she's just going to do it anyway. And I was like, but she won't cuz now I've embarrassed her friends telling her to Pick up her rubbish. And she's had to. And then I made like, is she trying to kidnap you? I thought, I, I'm not. She trying to kidnap you? I was like, no, no, thank you, pal.

[Joanne]

She trying to kidnap you? Were you in a box? Were you wearing your body?

[Joanna]

I wasn't even near. I was like 10 meters away from her. And then she. Oh, no, she's not trying to kidnap me. And I was like, I wouldn't want to kidnap you.

[Joanne]

You're a letter book.

[Joanna]

Yeah, yeah. I've already taken this too far. Yeah. But I was thinking to myself, I'm going to be one of those people that I'll eventually get a dig off someone. I will, won't I?

[Joanne]

I have a friend, they have a real bee in their bonnet, about four by fours because they think that they're like, not necessary. And you know, unless you're like, like driving over land in Scotland, like, you don't need a 4x4.

[Joanna]

It's probably true. But they do. Like, has she ever seen a defender? They look really nice.

[Joanne]

Well, she has seen a defender. Yes.

[Joanna]

I'd love to have a defender.

[Joanne]

Her vigilante vibe is she's. She emails. I think she leaves notes. She leaves notes on 4x4 windows?

[Joanna]

No, she doesn't.

[Joanne]

I think, I think she. I think she does.

[Joanna]

That's hilarious.

[Joanne]

And she has an email council and say if they're, if they're parked and. Sorry, when did this podcast turn into a neighborhood watch WhatsApp group?

[Joe]

Just a couple of weeks ago.

[Joanna]

You did it. You did it with the bins. Yeah. By the way, we never mentioned that Bad Bunny was in Wimbledon.

[Joanne]

Okay. Do you know the one going to Wimbledon? Do you remember that? Do you remember going to window And I was. I used to wait to be publicist. I used to be publicist. You know, that's, you know.

[Joanna]

Did you used to work in a hotel?

[Joanne]

I used to work. Thanks for asking, Joe.

[Joanna]

It was interesting.

[Joanne]

Sociology. Yes. I did come first. Thank you.

[Joanna]

You said a long time folk.

[Joanne]

No need, no need for that. No need for the add ons. Wimbledon. So remember last year when we went

[Joanna]

and I. Oh my God, what are you wearing?

[Joanne]

There you go. There you go.

[Joanna]

What are you wearing?

[Joanne]

I got grief last year because I wasn't dressed appropriately for Wimbledon and I just come back from Glassbury and I was hanging out of a handbag and I wore a mini skirt and like platform heels and I looked, I was a little emaciated because we'd obviously walked 60 billion steps over the weekend. And. And of course, Pat was like, please, please, next year, like, get your together. Like, you need to wear a long a line. You need to wear something a bit more glam. Anyway, I hadn't thought about Wimbledon because I was just busy and then I was like, oh, Wimbledon, I have nothing. I. Or I tried to order something off asos. Anyway, I'm going this year. The skirt's even shorter. I have it upstairs. It's green though. And I thought, that's sporty. Yeah, I'm going even shorter this year.

[Joanna]

I was trying on my Wimbledon outfits yesterday and then I was dressed a bit like a tennis ball, so I'm not wearing that. But I could have brought you a really cool two piece. We could have just both won something.

[Joanne]

But I just feel like I'd look like someone who's not their mother's wardrobe.

[Joanna]

It's a Serena boot. Right.

[Joanne]

Anyway, my point is that you're just. I can't wait to show you. I'm gonna. I'm even slagger this year. Wimbledon. Yeah. And I can't wait for you to see my little slaggy outfit.

[Joanna]

Oh, my God. Imagine they don't let her in. I'm wearing a bikini like Lizzie Cundy at Ascot when she got turned away because she wasn't wearing the appropriate clothing. There would be no funnier moment.

[Joanne]

I'm wearing a bikini for two half a tennis balls and then the contaminated sticker from the bins over my badge. Perfect.

[Joanna]

Actually, that will look really well. You'll get invited into the Royal Box center course. Are you going to the Royal Box?

[Joanne]

I wouldn't engage with the royals or their boxes.

[Joanna]

Where their boxes?

[Joanne]

I wasn't invited. I don't actually. Actually don't think I would go in there, you know.

[Joanna]

Oh, I'm going to Rob.

[Joanne]

I got invited to some royal event the other day and I was like, no.

[Joanna]

What? Russia?

[Joanne]

I'm Irish in the Lambeth area.

[Joanna]

What royal event? I'm not going to throw a box. Yo, cut that out.

[Joanne]

What?

[Joanna]

Because Johan didn't take the base

[Joanne]

because you.

[Joe]

Oh, yeah.

[Joanne]

Well, it wouldn't surprise me if you were going to the Royal Box.

[Joanna]

I'm not a royal Joanne star.

[Joanne]

No, no.

[Joanna]

She's trying to make me unrelatable again. No, I won't have it. No, no, she. Well, not when she sits on this plot of land. Joanne owns the Lambeth area. She doesn't. Just

[Joanne]

Lady Lambert. Everyone knows that's my name. This is what I wanted to say. So I did a podcast, actually. You know Kane Brown? And Christopher Savage do a podcast called the Rated Show. Right. And I went in as a guest. It was eight years ago. We filmed it it and they've just released it. But one of the clips, they were like, would you mind? And I was kind of like. I was like, oh, I don't really know if I want that clipped up. But I was like, yeah, it go on. But the clip was me talking about money and I was so awkward about it. Did you see it?

[Joanna]

No.

[Joanne]

You don't pay attention to anything I do.

[Joanna]

I see your stories all the time,

[Joe]

but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna see it.

[Joanne]

So. So we were having a wider conversation about dating and comedy.

[Joanna]

Oh, and you were talking about going to pay the bill. Yes, yes, I did see it. You did see it?

[Joanne]

Yes. Thank you so much. And I was saying that money's funny. We don't. Money is funny. And I know we always tease you about having billions of it and stuff. And I was obviously came from like mushrooms coming out of my toilet, etcetera, blah, blah. But obviously now I make. I have an income. And I was saying that when I go on dates with lads that I assume I kind of. I'm earning more now. The reason I assume that is because I date, like normal lads. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm not dating, like crypto bros. Like, I'm not doing that. And I was saying that when the. So when I feel guilty at getting them to pace, then I end up paying on the sly and then I lose all respect for them. And the lads were like pissing themselves. I thought it was hilarious because they were like, that's not his fault. And I was like, I know, but I was so weird about it because I was like, do you know when you're like, I just don't want to sound like a dick. I don't know, Just like, I just felt like kind of crass or whatever. And they were like, no, no, it's fine, it's grand. It's funny or whatever. And I was like, it's more so that I was just like mortified to admit that I have an income. Do you know what I mean? What's that about? Because I'm a woman. I don't know. It was like I had to do some self reflection on it. I think next time I had to give it space. I had to give it space. I was like, why am I so uncomfortable with this, this video? Do you know what I think? I think I feel bad for always slagging you about having money.

[Joanna]

Oh, thank you. So it's an apology.

[Joanne]

I think it was. I think it's an apology.

[Joanna]

Thank you.

[Joanne]

Yeah. Because I always, I. Yeah. I always enjoyed being the underdog and I. And I remain to be the underdog and I know I always will be. But I was. I, It's. I'm sorry. I'm always slogging about being loud.

[Joanna]

I think that is kind of fair enough. It's funny. Thank God. Spenny's the one that drags me down with that accent, for God's sake.

[Joanne]

Yes, he's quite the peasant.

[Joanna]

I'm telling you about a wine crime. A crime against wine. And you love wine.

[Joanne]

I do love wine.

[Joanna]

This is. Okay, so there was a woman, right.

[Joanne]

Not to love.

[Joanna]

She was on a one year contract with a winery in Spain.

[Joanne]

Is this the woman who gorilla glued her fellas ass together?

[Joanna]

No, I checked that. That was unfortunately. I know, I know.

[Joanne]

The robots, they're ruining.

[Joanna]

I know. Honestly. And it was such a good story.

[Joanne]

Sometimes I think it's better not to check.

[Joanna]

God, we could, we could get so much out of that. Yeah, I know, but people, our listeners mailed in and they said that that's wrong. So. No, this is right. I've checked it. So she was working at a winery in Spain and they didn't renew her contract. Like they didn't fire her, but there for a year. And it was just one of those contracts that it was likely.

[Joanne]

Yeah. Politely. You're not coming back.

[Joanna]

Snuck into the winery and destroyed $2.7 million worth of wine. She was, she basically opened, you know, the big wine vats. Huge wine vats. So she just opened. She got through three of them. She was trying to do all five. Opened it and all the wine just went on the ground.

[Joanne]

She should have. I'm sorry. Now I like, I, I accept what you're telling me, but she should have just urinated in the mall and let them bottle it and sell it. That would have been much better revenge.

[Joanna]

Well, I don't know because they're still. She's lost them nearly three. They would have sold it for $3 million. All that wine. I know.

[Joanne]

Well, I was working recently, working with Cassiana and they're a gorgeous wine rose.

[Joanna]

I should have actually got them to send some for the party.

[Joanne]

I'd say Gigi would love a rose. She's almost.

[Joanna]

Yeah, her friends are really into rose. They like the soft notes of a rose.

[Joanne]

I'd say she's going to be in a Gronigal. When you're A maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant. You keep production lines moving and quality on track because there is no room for slowdowns. With Grainger's vast selection of high quality

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[Joanne]

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[Joanna]

Another story that I have for you is about mushrooms. Okay, Joe's worried. Scientists have proven that magic mushrooms reverse cellular aging by 57%.

[Joanne]

Sorry, did I not tell you about

[Joanna]

the one with scientists?

[Joanne]

Joe, someone who had dementia has dementia. Is this the story you're talking about?

[Joanna]

No, this is a different story about aging. How magic mushrooms actually reduce cellular aging. Joe's freaked. It's true, Joe. That's what the scientists.

[Joanne]

Come on now. Mushrooms don't take drugs. Not saying gear.

[Joe]

They did mushrooms from the forest.

[Joanne]

Are we even calling. Are we even calling mushrooms drugs?

[Joanna]

They're a vegetable. Yes, they're one of our five a day.

[Joe]

They're classified drugs.

[Joanna]

So they expose human cells to psilocybin. And they found that the cells slower slow down in their cellular aging. Less inflammation. So I think that we will all be. I did some benefits. Benefits of magic mushrooms.

[Joe]

Number one, before she says any of this. England, at least they are class A drugs.

[Joanna]

Class A drug.

[Joanne]

Well, I'm in charge of Lambeth and I've legalized them here.

[Joanna]

Yeah, Lady Lambeth said it's fine.

[Joanne]

Yeah, Lady Lambert, I. I have a vegetable patch out the back full of shrooms.

[Joanna]

Yeah, they're free.

[Joanne]

You can pick a lot of neighbors licking their cheeks.

[Joe]

You can face up to seven years in prison for picking a mushroom session.

[Joanne]

That is ridiculous.

[Joanna]

Okay, number one benefit of magic mushrooms. It's not cocaine. Cocaine is a bad drug.

[Joanne]

That's a really good point.

[Joe]

I think that's something we can all agree on.

[Joanna]

Yes, cocaine is a bad drug.

[Joe]

Like all drugs.

[Joanna]

Number two, it's a vegetable. So it's part of your five a day. Number three, the effects were all.

[Joanne]

Don't say anything bad about coke. We might do a collab at some point. We might want to work with them at some point.

[Joanna]

I've been very careful.

[Joanne]

Comes to us and they've got. And the money's right, you know.

[Joanna]

But when you look at magic mushrooms, people use them within therapy.

[Joanne]

And there was a woman who had dementia. Alzheimer's I guess. And she hadn't said she was non verbal for Several years. And they. They put her on the shrimps.

[Joanna]

Yeah.

[Joanne]

I mean, the ethics. I don't know. The ethics are none of my business. I read some article and she started speaking. Now, I'm not gonna say she kind of snapped back to life, but her cerebral. Her cogn. Back to a. To a certain degree. What are your other points?

[Joanna]

That was it. There was just three. But what I will tell you about shrooms is the drug resets part of the brain associated with depression, allowing neurons to form new, healthier connections, reduced anxiety. So some people do. What's it called, micro dosing.

[Joanne]

Yeah.

[Joanna]

And. And it helps with their anxiety.

[Joanne]

Yeah. I can't. I. I would be up for that. Would you now?

[Joanna]

I have read stories about mom groups. Now, I'm not in any mom groups that are doing shrimps together. Did you never read that? No, Joe, I have read stories about that where moms are basically going out and doing shrooms together.

[Joanne]

Life can be very repetitive. There's.

[Joanna]

Anyways, so I think that we should actually get into that baby group down the road.

[Joanne]

There's a baby. They're babies all day. I went. I went in, I tried to get a nice latte, and they're like, this is a baby shop for babies. And I was like, well, okay. They actually did give me a nice lot. If it was very clear, I wasn't welcome back.

[Joanna]

He's not give it away.

[Joanne]

No.

[Joanna]

Like, oh, I used to be that. That's why when I drove by that day, I was like, oh, no, I'm just not. Like, I'm not. I'm not a mom mom. Like that. Yeah. But I actually did used to go to all those kind of things.

[Joanne]

The Boogie Farms. Isn't that what they called them out the front, the pantos? Rife with them at Christmas.

[Joanna]

Yeah.

[Joanne]

Miles and miles of Boogie Farms.

[Joe]

The woman with Alzheimer's did start talking again. It's in the New Scientist. She also had urine reincontinence and regained the control of her bladder.

[Joanna]

Because of shrooms?

[Joe]

Apparently, because it's.

[Joanna]

That's unbelievable. Psilocybin.

[Joe]

Psilocybin.

[Joanna]

Unbelievable.

[Joanne]

Sorry. You know, I have a weak pelvic floor, so I am claiming medical reasons.

[Joanna]

Well, I am literally.

[Joe]

I am professional. Never take anything without the advice of a medical professional.

[Joanna]

I'm up two or three times a night doing we now with this pregnancy. So chat. Gbt,

[Joanne]

nibbling on my vegetable patch out the back. You'll never piss again. Sorry. I am telling you now. I. I've been talking about this for ages. Before 2027. Begins, I am going to have done ayahuasca.

[Joanna]

Now. This has been going on for a year.

[Joanne]

I'm gonna tell you when I'm doing it, but you will know because I will be a completely different person. And I may be wearing a crucifix.

[Joanna]

It doesn't last. I had one of Sven's friend who used to go out and do ayahuasca. And he came back to our house full of kids with a book. And he sat on our couch and started reading a book. And his voice had gone down to a whisper. So now he spoke like this. And he was so chilled out from ayahuasca. And then he went on an absolute bender, like two weeks later.

[Joanne]

Yeah. A lot of addicts go in because it does kind of. They're looking for a bit of a recess.

[Joanna]

Yeah.

[Joanne]

Yeah. But I'm not going in for addiction reasons. I'm going in to have my horizons broadened.

[Joanna]

Are you gonna go here or go abroad?

[Joanne]

I feel like I could go in the Lambeth area. They are. There are. Iowa.

[Joanna]

Get a discount.

[Joanne]

You can get a lot.

[Joanna]

This is Lady Lamberth. Get a discount.

[Joanne]

I assume so. Me and the band man. Tripping balls out the garden.

[Joanna]

That is a sure fireware to have them on your side.

[Joanne]

Yeah. They don't look like good time guys. They're not party boys.

[Joanna]

They're not party boys. No.

[Joanne]

No. You know what I'm gonna do? I asked you this summer, why are you saying ayahuasca? Do you know something? I don't know.

[Joanna]

What are you calling it?

[Joanne]

Ayahuasca. I mean, it's cleaning as you know,

[Joanna]

so you love what Cleaning as you know, so I call everything that I can.

[Joanne]

I think it's going to be. I'm going to broaden my horizons. You can do it in the uk, you can do it in Ireland. You got a shaman. But I think if I'm gonna do it, I might as well go large and go into the Amazon.

[Joanna]

Are you gonna do like a group, though? And then you have to be surrounded by everyone vomiting and shitting. I couldn't.

[Joanne]

I couldn't stand as an explicit. I don't think that's gonna bother me. Like the old days. Oh, the glory days.

[Joanna]

Oh, my God. Memories. It's unlocking core memories.

[Joanne]

Oh, the golden years.

[Joanna]

I'm very excited.

[Joanne]

Yeah.

[Joanna]

Joanna's canceled her holiday in Spain with me and now I know why.

[Joanne]

Yeah. I'm not going anywhere until August. I'm gonna go and do IO Ayahuasca in August. And I'm telling You now Costa Rica

[Joanna]

has a good spot to do it.

[Joanne]

There you go. I'll go there and I'll expense it.

[Joanna]

How are you going to expense something?

[Joanne]

Because I'll do an instant story from Costa Rica. That's all you have to do then. And write it off wherever the stuff goes and you write it off into the thing. Wait till you see me when I come back.

[Joanna]

We have the same accountant now. You're not gonna get away with that.

[Joanne]

He's no crack, is he? I think I'm writing it off. I remember there was. There was a clip of. There's a clip in Schitt's Creek where David was talking about writing stuff off and his dad was like, like, do you know what that means? And I was like, I've never felt more seen. I say write it off about seven times a day. I have a clue what I'm talking about. I like, what am I writing? What's off? Where's it going? What are you doing with the day to mind? Mostly just writing things off, really. What do you do once it's said? You can't unsay it and it's written and it's off and that's it. No one can argue with that. Like, do you know what I mean? And I hope the revenue is listening to this because I've written it all off and there's nothing you can do about it.

[Joanna]

Well, there's a lot of things that they can do, sadly.

[Joanne]

Yeah. They're like, you can do three to five years run.

[Joanna]

That's what you can do.

[Joanne]

I wrote. I was very. I very clearly wrote it off.

[Joanna]

Huh.

[Joanne]

Someone messed me there.

[Joe]

Go.

[Joanne]

You ever going to write that book? I said, I don't time to write the book, cuz I'm writing things off.

[Joanna]

Excuse me. I'm going to Wimbledon, followed by Harry Styles.

[Joanne]

I'm writing things off.

[Joanna]

Did I tell you I might be going to Wilderness to see Carl Cox? That's.

[Joanne]

Does Carl know this?

[Joanna]

I don't fancy Carl. I just think he's so cool.

[Joanne]

He is really cool.

[Joanna]

Even T thinks he's cool. T comes in from school and he's like, can I see that man going onto the stage when he does his shoulder? You know what? Because I've been watching it so much. Have you not seen him go on stage and oh my God, it's so cool. Everyone's like, God, are you gonna go to Wilderness? I think I'm gonna go down and back in one day. But I only fly home from Spain that day. It's a Lot to be thinking of love, but I think I might go down.

[Joanne]

Joe, I wouldn't mind going to wilderness.

[Joe]

Yeah, I don't remember seeing the text about that.

[Joanne]

I don't.

[Joanna]

Okay, guys, actually finish my sentence also.

[Joanne]

Say what you want, but I did not get an invite for Gigi's party. Now I was busy writing things off, but I would have noticed that we

[Joe]

can go back to that in the podcast there. You did? Yeah.

[Joanna]

And Joe, you can obviously come with your kids if you want, but like do you. No one wants to go to kids parties.

[Joanne]

Is it a drop off? I know this from motherland. Is it a drop off? I like a drop off. Is it a drop.

[Joanna]

It's not full drop off because it's in the car, it's in the. It's in the park. It's not full drop off. I was up last night and I was like, Jesus Christ, if I told everyone the right day. Have I told everyone? And I was like, oh, there's a dairy free. There's a dairy free child. Yeah, so you gotta. Yeah, I gotta organize some dairy free bits.

[Joanne]

So what was it? What was it? What was your mother pumping?

[Joanna]

Do you want to see it at the table like with the kids? Are you coming full on for the whole day? Are you gonna do your. No, no, no.

[Joanne]

So I'll just nip it up on. Nip out.

[Joanna]

Do you think I could. You think I can write the party off?

[Joanne]

I'll just do an insta story with jes.

[Joe]

I don't know.

[Joanna]

We're going to get looked at. What's that called? Investigators. I'm not writing anything off. It's her.

[Joanne]

She's flat out writing everything. She's a pen and everything. Look at her.

[Joanna]

Wesley Snipes went to jail for like 20 years or something over time.

[Joanne]

Didn't write it off properly. Cuz I, I'm.

[Joanna]

I'm O.J. simpson got away with murder, but he didn't get away with writing stuff off.

[Joanne]

That's what he always get the mafia on the tax in the end, don't they?

[Joanna]

Yeah.

[Joanne]

Yeah.

[Joanna]

So there you go. Good job everybody.

[Joanne]

That's mad. So I could kill somebody and get away with it, but if I write

[Joanna]

stuff off, big trouble. I wouldn't be writing stuff off.

[Joanne]

Maybe bleep all that out. Yeah.

[Joanna]

So you're coming to G's party on Sunday? Gr.

[Joanne]

Yes. And then as you know, it's a big day for me.

[Joanna]

Oh, we have our watching party.

[Joanne]

We have a watching party. Unacceptable. The new panel show on TLC with me Ed Gamble and Richard Iwadi starts this Sunday on TLC at 9pm we

[Joanna]

should all be watching. We're very excited.

[Joanne]

Well, I. We had the screening last night.

[Joanna]

Thanks for the invite, by the way. Did you get an invite for that?

[Joe]

Yeah, I didn't see the text for

[Joanna]

that, as you see how many people were at the screening. It was in a full cinema.

[Joe]

It was everyone.

[Joanna]

Yeah, yeah, there was hundreds of people at it, actually.

[Joanne]

You know. Where's your press pass? Where's your press pass?

[Joanna]

Don't worry. No, it's okay, John. I don't want to host it. That's just what I do for my job.

[Joe]

You know what? I really hate free champagne.

[Joanna]

Bear it. Actually, Joe, I hate it.

[Joanne]

Sorry, I don't.

[Joanna]

Can't stand a special night out.

[Joanne]

It was a work event. I don't want to put the pressure on either of you to come to things like that.

[Joanna]

Okay, thanks. Well, we had a great time.

[Joanne]

We had. We had. We did have a great time. And then Richard. Richard has very cleverly.

[Joanna]

Did he not catch that either?

[Joanne]

He's got it in his contract. He just doesn't do anything now. I actually like to impress. I don't mind it. But yeah, he's like. He actually said to me recently, because I was. I was kind of like teasing him about it, and I was like, jesus, I haven't seen you and me. I had her glued to the hip. We were on everything going. And he went, I'm just so bad at it. I will end up telling people not to watch it. I think I will end up talking people out of watching it. And I was like, fine, fair enough.

[Joanna]

Well, if you don't invite me again, that's exactly what I'm gonna do.

[Joanne]

Well, you're invited.

[Joanna]

I'm gonna put it up on my Instagram. I'm actually gonna main page it. I won't even put it on stories. It will be a main page post just telling people exactly what I think of you.

[Joanne]

I'm quite nervous about it.

[Joanna]

That's gonna be brilliant.

[Joanne]

Oh, well, that fix. That fixes that. Thanks. Joe stopped feeling it.

[Joanna]

Feelings work when I'm anxious and Spenny says, don't be anxious. I'm like, okay, thanks.

[Joanne]

Why didn't I think of that?

[Joanna]

Perfect.

[Joanne]

This was my only option. I didn't realize, like, it does not feel like this.

[Joanna]

You should go into therapy anyway.

[Joanne]

Unacceptable. This Sunday on tlc.

[Joanna]

I'm really excited to watch that. Well done. Congratulations.

[Joanne]

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[Joanne]

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