MRI, Plane Fear & Divorce Settlements

Summary

---

Podcast Summary: "My Therapist Ghosted Me" – MRI, Plane Fear & Divorce Settlements

Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
Date: November 7, 2025

---

Episode Overview

In this lively, laughter-filled episode, Vogue and Joanne take listeners on a meandering and hilarious journey through the everyday trials of adulthood, from money woes and parenting to plane phobias and the dramas of divorce settlements. With their signature honesty and comic timing, they touch on the absurdities of modern life, occasional existential anxieties, and the ever-present specter of celebrity news.

---

Key Discussion Points

---

1. The Cost and Inevitability of Adulting

[00:30 – 02:23]

• Bills and Overheads: Both Joanne and Vogue bemoan the relentless expense of adult life.

  • “I am hemorrhaging cash at the moment.” — Joanne [00:30]
  • Vogue details the high cost of raising kids, specifically school clothing, and the guilt from social media about parenting choices.
  • “They don't have to be literally dressed to perfection all the time. Think about how we went around as kids. I used to go around the block in my knickers.” — Vogue [01:44]

• Home-Schooling as a Fantasy: Joanne jokes about home-schooling as a way to save costs, which devolves into a comedic riff about tap-dancing classes and chaotic home curriculums.

---

2. Health Scares and MRI Results

[04:34 – 06:51]

• Vogue’s MRI: Vogue shares her recent brain scan results, humorously relaying the doctor's ambiguous warning about “hives of activity,” possible future risks, and her own anxiety.
  • “She was like, 'We're seeing a lot of this now, where there's like, additional...hives of activity.'...I was like, oh, great.” — Vogue [04:34]
• Lung Health: She’s relieved her teenage smoking days left no marks on her lungs.
• Joanne jokes about wanting her own MRI: “Basically, they crack the lid on you and do a bit of rustling around and see what's going on.” — Joanne [06:24]

---

3. Flying Habits, Fears & Helicopters

[06:51 – 13:11]

• Plane Preferences and Delays: Both admit to habitual seat choices for comfort and routine on planes, detailing their idiosyncrasies.

  • “I want to sit between row one to five and I want to be on the left. That's what I want.” — Vogue [07:00]
  • Joanne prefers “the last three rows, either side at the window.” [07:42]

• Helicopter Anxiety: Chat drifts to fear of helicopters, referencing accidents and Final Destination-like odds.

  • “I don't scare easily... but I actually think I'd be quite scared in a helicopter.” — Joanne [09:29]
  • Vogue recalls a Bear Grylls show where helicopters used by a TV crew crashed weeks later, heightening their fears. [10:47]

• Fear of Flying: Both admit to ongoing (often irrational) anxieties about flying, despite how often they do it.

  • “I'm actually quite frightened of flying, which is stupid 'cause I do it so much.” — Vogue [12:11]

• Risk & Reward Game: They discuss a hypothetical scenario—would you take a 1 in 100 chance to win £20 million if there’s also a 1 in 100 chance of dying? Both would rather not risk it, joking about Russian roulette with “killer grapes.” [13:39]

---

4. Divorce, Settlements & Sleeping Separately

[15:14 – 19:18]

• Divorce During Travel Delays: Vogue recounts meeting a newly divorced woman, Eleni, who quickly found love with a cardiologist—sparking a long-distance romance.

  • “Six weeks after getting divorced, she meets a heart surgeon in Atlanta...” [15:36]

• Sleeping Arrangements & Divorce Odds: Joanne shares a study claiming couples who share a bed are “50% more likely to get divorced,” referencing Japan where separate sleep is common.

  • “In Japan... it's very rare to share a bed with your partner. They sleep separately.” — Joanne [16:53]

• Celebrities & Separate Spaces: They discuss Helena Bonham Carter and Cameron Diaz, both with unconventional sleeping/relationship setups.

• Vogue’s Sleep Woes: A personal anecdote about spouse Spencer waking her repeatedly at night, leading to discussions about boundaries and the sanctity of sleep.

---

5. Halloween Mishaps, Christmas Excitement, & Costume Culture

[19:20 – 25:57]

• Halloween Face Paint Disaster: Vogue’s daughter Gigi has a meltdown over badly-done witch makeup courtesy of artistic Aunt Naomi. In the end, the only solution is to hope darkness hides the evidence.

  • “I’ve never seen someone...trying not to cry. She...kept pulling her hat down over her face.” — Vogue [20:26]

• Overflowing Irish Trick-or-Treats & Early Christmas: Vogue’s awe at the abundance of sweets for Halloween in Ireland, quickly segues to eagerness for Christmas (except Vogue draws the line at putting up decorations too early).

• Controversial Halloween Costumes: Joanne highlights an “inappropriate” costume of Shannon Matthews’ mum, then spirals into the real-life grimness of that story. [22:43]

• Julia Fox as Bloody Jackie Kennedy: The hosts discuss the shock value and performative justification of this viral look, with skepticism toward her “ChatGPT-sounding” feminist rationale.

  • “It’s the explanation that got me. Like, oh, come on, don’t start hitting us with that.” — Vogue [25:30]

---

6. Celebrity Gossip: Kleptomania, Hot Criminals & The Louvre Heist

[25:57 – 29:41]

• Winona Ryder's Shoplifting Excuse: Discussing “researching for a role” as her alibi for being a kleptomaniac, and David Harbour’s crush on her. [26:19]
• Stranger Things Set Rumors: Briefly note accusations against David Harbour.
• Grown-up Trick-or-Treating & The ‘Hot Felons’ Phenomenon: Vogue reveals her fascination with the handsome suspects in the Louvre heist. Discussion on why attractiveness itself can make criminals oddly charismatic.
  • “These two look like they’ve just walked out of IMG Models.” — Vogue [28:01]
  • “Crime is sexy... crime is hot.” — Joanne [28:20]

---

7. Fashion Fails: Boots, Calves, and the Return of Pedal Pushers

[33:50 – 36:44]

• Boots That Don’t Fit: Stories of “oversized calf” struggles, and the exclusion of popular fashion brands.
  • “Paris Texas boots ... Couldn't get it above the ankle.” — Vogue [35:48]
• Pedal Pushers Are Back: Vogue bemoans her calves’ incompatibility with the revived trend, leading to self-deprecating and supportive banter.
  • “My calves. Can't wait. Listen, they'll be exploding out the back of them.” — Vogue [34:22]

---

8. Spoofer of the Week: Kevin Federline & Celebrity Divorce Settlements

[36:48 – 43:16]

• Kevin Federline “Spoofer of the Week”:

  • Vogue and Joanne slam his memoir's timing (right as child support ends) and his ongoing public criticism of Britney Spears.
  • “He is absolutely spoofed out of it. He is. If you watch his memoir…” — Vogue [37:17]
  • “I am not going to engage with the book because I’m not giving him the credit. And when I say the credit, I mean my audible credits.” — Joanne [38:36]
  • Vogue details Kevin’s settlement: a million+ up front and $40k/month for two decades; now, with payments over, he’s peddling tabloid tales. [38:48]

• Sia’s Expensive Divorce: The hosts are incredulous at her ex-husband’s $327k/month support demand. [41:17]

• Double Standards?: Joanne admits, “If a woman got that in her divorce, I'd be like, get it girl. When a man does it, I'm like, hideous. Very unattractive.” [41:18]

• Other Lavish Settlements: J.Lo’s dancer ex and Guy Ritchie’s massive payday from Madonna make them question the logic behind such legal outcomes.

---

9. Miscellaneous Banter: Live Shows, Side Hustles, and Fact-Checking the Fans

[43:30 – 44:39]

• Live Shows & Personal Anecdotes: A humorous back-and-forth about the “glory days” of touring, accidental wild nights in Killarney and Cork, and why certain friends are a bad influence.

• Fashion Side Hustle Confusion: The “baby bag” saga, and plugs for Joanne’s upcoming stand-up in Killarney and Belfast. [31:21 & 31:47]

• Fan Emails & Mattress Gate: Both hosts defend themselves from suspicious fans doubting their stories about mattress purchases and reader emails.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I am hemorrhaging cash at the moment.” — Joanne [00:30]
• “I used to go around the block in my knickers.” — Vogue [01:44]
• “I've turned into Neil Wilson. This is my cross to bear.” — Vogue on flying habits [07:03]
• “I watch a lot of air crash investigation. Sometimes I watch it while I'm flying... I'm basically protecting everyone on the plane by watching it.” — Joanne [11:23]
• "I do love grapes, though, particularly the Marks and Spencer grapes when they're in season.” — Vogue on risk and reward [14:49]
• “You’re sure? I just forgot you’re really 40 now, folk.” — Joanne playfully teasing Vogue [14:57]
• “I don’t want the best for her. You literally want her money.” — Vogue on Kevin Federline [39:43]
• “If a woman got that in her divorce, I'd be like, get it girl. When a man does it, I'm like, hideous. Very unattractive.” — Joanne [41:18]
• “Crime is sexy.” — Joanne, on the “hot felons” of the Louvre heist [28:20]

---

Key Timestamps

• 00:30 – Adulting woes, expense, and bills
• 04:34 – Vogue’s MRI and ambiguous brain scan diagnosis
• 06:51 – Flight rituals, seat choices, plane and chopper fears
• 12:11 – Admitting fear of flying, especially alone
• 13:39 – Risking your life for a 1-in-100 shot at millions? No thanks
• 15:14 – Vogue’s tale of divorce, rebounds, and fresh love
• 16:53 – Bed-sharing, divorce rates, and unconventional sleep in Japan
• 19:20 – Halloween, face paint disaster, and Christmas anticipation
• 22:43 – Boundary-pushing costumes and true crime backstories
• 25:30 – Julia Fox as Jackie Kennedy, explanations that don’t land
• 28:01 – The Louvre heist’s stunning suspects, “hot criminal” trope
• 34:22 – Pedal pushers return, calf struggles
• 37:17 – Kevin Federline as “Spoofer of the Week”
• 38:48 – Federline’s settlement details
• 41:17 – Sia’s divorce, giant support demands
• 43:30 – Live show stories and side hustles

---

Closing Remarks

This episode is a quintessential sample of Vogue and Joanne’s chemistry—equal parts sharp, silly, and honest. From their private anxieties spilling out in public (doctor visits, airplane disasters) to sideways forays into divorce settlements, pop culture, and the endless absurdities of daily life, they remind listeners that laughter—and a little rant—are sometimes the best therapy of all.

No actual therapists were contacted in the making of this episode, but there’s plenty here to reassure anyone struggling with life’s little traumas: you’re not alone, and you’re probably a lot more normal than you think.

---

Transcript

[A]

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello, and welcome to my therapist, Ghost of Me with me, Vogue Williams, and Joanna McNally. And in for Joe. Today is imaginary.

[B]

I am hemorrhaging cash at the moment.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Just a lot of bills. I've suddenly got a lot of overheads that I never had before, which is all part of being adult and all, but. But, yeah, I resent them all, to be honest.

[A]

I can't stand bills. Honestly, there's nothing that bothers me more. And I'm like, what the. And then there's the other bills that you're like, well, I did that. That was my fault. Now, that was mean. Well, when I sometimes. I bought a lot of clothes recently for the kids. Now I. They needed them. They were. They were running low on stuff. I had to go buy school shoes. But when you add it all up, it's like, Christ alive, you three are expensive.

[B]

If I had kids, I wouldn't send them to school.

[A]

Well, I'll tell you what. I rang fairy and I said, get them working again. Yeah, I'm after spending an absolute fortune.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because you know what? I posted a school picture of the kids where they went back to school this year and theater or didn't get new school shoes because his were fine and they fitted up. And I got so many comments of people being like, God, she could have gotten him a new pair of school shoes. And then, like, males off people. I'm like, jesus Christ.

[B]

Like, sorry, you're not sheen, or whatever that website is. We're allowed to rewear things. This is a fast fashion. It's school shoes.

[A]

I know. So now he's got a new pair because he's actually run out. His is not run out. His shoe. His feet are getting much bigger. But I'm like, oh, my God. Like, they don't have to be literally dressed to perfection all the time. Think about how we went around as kids. I used to go around the block in my knickers. They didn't even have clothes.

[B]

There's a really funny meme going around where it's like how my father suggests he went to school, and it's like a shoeless, naked man climbing a snowy mountain to get to his destination. But there were. I mean, if. I think it was Angela's ashes, they had a bit of tires, like, stuck to the cell we had. Firstly, I was going to say I would homeschool my kids to save money.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Please. If anyone is not gonna be.

[B]

You can have half an education.

[A]

Don't expect to read or Write.

[B]

No, you won't need to read or write. You're going to go into show business.

[A]

Don't need that at all. Spencer does that with his childhood, by the way. He's like, oh, I never. No, no, I never got gifts. I only got gifts at Christmas on my birthday. I'm like, oh, yeah, you only. Were you Were you sleeping in a drawer as is? So I'm like, you were the most spoiled. He's like, no, it's not true. And I'm like. And I ask his mom, and his mom's like, no, he did get other presents, but then his mom also says that he never cried as a baby, which I absolutely refuse to believe.

[B]

Of course he cried. I mean, maybe that's what's wrong with them.

[A]

Maybe. Maybe.

[B]

Well, I'm gonna homeschool my kids. It's gonna be tap dancing. We know school won't start till one in the day.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. How does, how does this day run?

[B]

Mommy works nights, Mommy needs sleep, and mommy needs to wake up in the morning and then nap immediately.

[A]

Well, I did see a family of a woman and her kids don't go to bed till 3am because they do homeschool and they just have different hours.

[B]

To other people instincts.

[A]

So that's gonna.

[B]

Okay, okay, I. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna have. I'll be like, there's tap. Then we wait. We start the day with some tap dancing.

[A]

Now, you know that the homeschooling means you're just adding additional work to yourself. You're not actually like, save a few. Oh, okay.

[B]

I'll just be taking the tap dancing class with them. I'll have someone come in and school them. I'll be very competitive with them as well.

[A]

You're trying to reduce the school bills, yet you're paying people to come in and do it.

[B]

No, I'm not gonna pay them. You're not gonna find a flaw in this system.

[A]

Okay. Okay, Cool. Okay.

[B]

Gonna stick her in the box room.

[A]

You'll have to get rid of the Pilates bed.

[B]

No, she'll sleep in the Pilates, but finally get some use out of it. There'll be some tap dancing and then there'll be. And then we'll break for lunch immediately. And then there'll be drinks.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

At the baby bar. Yeah. And then in the evening we'll do some storytelling and I'll. I'll. That's just me performing.

[A]

Yeah, you can perform and you can just talk about yourself for a couple hours. That'd be nice. I got My results back from that mri, so I'm. Obviously, there's not that much wrong with me. But she was like, there's. There's certain parts of your brain. And she was like, we're seeing a lot of this now where there's, like, additional. There's like, center points, and it's, like, loads of flashing. So, like, there's loads of hives of activity around there. And I was like, oh, thank you. And she's like, oh, no. It's like, something to look out for. And I was like, sorry. She was like, because if people have that, like, in later years, it could, like, turn into, like, dementia or something. And I was like, pardon me? And she was like, do you have high blood pressure? I was like, no. She's like, do you not sleep well? I was like, yes, I sleep very well. And she's like, do you. Do you have high cholesterol? No, I don't have any of those things. And she's like. She's like, oh, well, just watch out for it. I'm like, oh, great. So I'm doing everything. Oh, my God, I don't have it. Hello? God, she's really concerned. She's just onto the phone straight away. My poor friend. Vogue might remember me.

[B]

Sorry, I'm just in the middle of a record that.

[A]

Yeah, don't worry, John. It's okay.

[B]

Yeah, I'm just in the middle of a record. Can. What can I do for you?

[A]

Deeply upsetting news. Yes, it was deeply upsetting. Very confusing and worrying time for me.

[B]

Sorry about that, guys. I had to take that call.

[A]

Don't worry. It was just a. A deep personal moment for me, but that's okay. I'm all right. Okay. I'm okay with my results.

[B]

Go on. So your brain's gone mad?

[A]

I think it just happens with loads of people. I think that they just tell you the whole point of a scan like that is to, like, tell you, like, how to be healthier and all. Like, do you know what? Nothing on my lungs. And I was like, God, I used to smoke like a trooper when I was 17. Nothing there, though. They really do regenerate.

[B]

I'd love to get one of those. Basically, they crack the lid on you and do a bit of rustling around and see what's going on.

[A]

Yeah. But, yeah, you probably wouldn't mind being in the mri. You can get one. They're actually, it's. It's an interesting thing to look at, but. Yeah. So I think I'm all right here. I wanted to tell you I Was I flew back to London last week. I was in Dublin for the week and I flew back to London for a day. Not on my favorite airline. And I was delayed out there and then I was two hours delayed on the way back.

[B]

What's your favorite. What's your favorite airlines? Vogue Airlines?

[A]

No, it's the pj.

[B]

It wasn't the pj.

[A]

I am so.

[B]

It's a chopper.

[A]

I am so picky that, like, because I fly all the time, I'm like, I want to fly Aer Lingus. They have loads of times they go into where I want them to go. They're usually on time. I want to fly in Air Lingus. I want to sit in row between row one to five and I want to be on the left. That's what I want. I can't. I can't. I've turned into. I've turned into Neil Wilson. This is. This is my cross to bear. I've. I just know what makes me really happy. If I'm gonna fly all the time, that's what I would like.

[B]

Is that. Is that. Do you think that's like a weird thing? I have the exact. I sit in the exact same seat every time I fly, if I can.

[A]

Okay. I thought I was being a bit of a diva.

[B]

No, I sit in the last three rails, last three rows, either side at the window. Every single time.

[A]

At the very back.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, no, no, no, no.

[B]

Very back front. Yeah. But a lot of the time they open the back doors. That's not like a weird thing. I think loads of people have little traditions when they fly and then. And sometimes I'll even pre order a space gin to my table. So when I. So when I. When I board, I get served straight away.

[A]

I. Yeah, I just think when you're doing something as much as we do with flying, like, I could fly to twice in a day a lot. And I just want to be as comfortable as I can. But anyway. Yeah, but anyway, this was a double day.

[B]

The ice caps are melting. You shopping yourself in and out of house twice a day.

[A]

I wonder if you could chop her from here to Howth. Could you? From London to Howth. Google that.

[B]

Of course you can.

[A]

I don't know, it just feels like it'd be a long way.

[B]

I was doing a gig in the Isle of Man recently and someone was telling me there's another comedian who does two shows a day in the Isle of Man and they get a chopper in and out because it's actually quite hard. Like the. The cost of the flights in and out of the island are quite pricey because there's not many flights. And they do two gigs. The first one to pay for the chopper and the second one just, like, for themselves. But they get a chopper in and out. Isn't that great? Yeah, but I just rock and roll.

[A]

I'd rather get the fucking boat and have the extra cash.

[B]

I would. I would be terrified. There's one thing, and I, I, I don't scare easily. Although I did see a woman. Oh, my God. We saw a woman fall over in the, in the park yesterday. And I nearly. I realized I'm actually. God love her. She nearly knocked her tooth out. I'm actually quite squeamish.

[A]

Yeah, well, I don't like seeing people hurt themselves. Are you gonna say you don't go. I don't like helicopters at.

[B]

Oh, I don't. I, I actually think I'd be quite scared in a helicopter. I've watched, you know, these holes you go down, and I've seen a lot of crashes. There was a boy killed on her wedding day. She was getting the chopper to the wedding, and she went down, and it was all on camera and all. I know I need to get out of my.

[A]

Like, I shouldn't be saying it's about the pilots, but it usually. It would be a pilot error of them flying when they shouldn't be flying. Like when Kobe Bryant. Yeah, yeah. They. He, they were. He told them not to fly, and they kind of were insistent on them flying, and that's why that happened. He should have. Are you seeing if you can still fly to Ireland about. Because I don't want to fly to Ireland. Can you fly to Ireland? You'd have to do a private charter, but, yeah, you could do it. A private charter helicopter. Well, I'm hardly gonna fly. I don't have one.

[B]

So are you gonna go down the local bus stop and see what picks her up?

[A]

There's. I'm near the heliport. I'm just gonna go down there. Can I have a lift?

[B]

I'm not gonna get the 56A. I'm gonna wait for the chopper. Oh, my God. What psychopath just rings off a random number without any forewarning? Like, who does that?

[A]

Remember I did that bear grill show? We had to use these helicopters, and we were basically thrown out of them then into this rotten water. And so we're on these helicopters. Two weeks later, a French TV crew were kind of doing the same kind of vibe show as him or something like that. Helicopters went down the Same ones went down. All dead. Yeah, yeah, I know. Oh my God.

[B]

This is like Final Destination. Hold on. Are they the same helicopters that you were using?

[A]

Say I. Yeah, I said it. I saw Bear Grylls and I said it to him and he was like, yeah that did, that really did happen.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

I know, I know.

[B]

You escape the Grim Reaper. I always do you know what always fascinates me because I watch, I watch a lot of air crash investigation and sometimes I watch it while I'm flying because I feel like if I die then it's too ironic for the universe to handle. So I'm basically protecting everyone on the plane by watching air crash investigation. So. You're welcome. But what I find fascinating is when. And again it's a lot of. It's like mechanical error engineering or they just forgot to put a boat back on. Someone forgot to put a boat back on and but, but it might take 60 flights for that plane to actually crash or explode and kill everyone. But I think of all the people that were on that plane with that boat. Like. Do you know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Getting closer and closer or further away from death. I don't, I just. It's like the sliding doors of it all. It's like.

[A]

Well now when I, when I, when I fly on my own I'm allowed to have a little bit of like. Cuz I get, I'm really fright. I'm actually quite frightened of flying which is stupid cuz I do it so much. But it's only because now I've convinced myself because I do it so much there's more of a chance for me. But when I fly with Gigi and stuff. Cuz the other I, I flew with her a little while ago and I had one of my meltdowns and then she started crying. I was like oh Jesus. So I have to now pretend that I'm having a great time. Like yeah.

[B]

It'S a very, it's, it's a very unfortunate fear to have flying because it does, it does write off a lot of stuff for you like travel.

[A]

Well, I don't, I don't. I'm not at that point worried at it. But I know a girl who will only she only gets the boat everywhere she can't fly, she won't get in a plane. And I think that like I just like I'd rather be on the plane and going somewhere I want to go then because I love the holidays, you know yourself, of course you do.

[B]

I'll take the death to get to The Caribbean. Bonjour.

[A]

Now, the chance of a 60. Chance of it. Do you know what we were playing the other day? Hang on. Because this is tied into this MO. What was it? There's a chance of you winning £20 million. There's a 1 in 100 chance, but there's also a 1 in 100 chance that you will get killed doing it. Are you going to take that chance to try and win the 20 million?

[B]

I think you know me well enough at this point to know that the second numbers start coming out of your mouth. I've completely zoned out.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

I don't engage with figures.

[A]

It was like there's a hundred grapes in front of you, right? And is it like if you.

[B]

Now you're talking.

[A]

And if.

[B]

But if you eat one of them, you could die.

[A]

One of them is, like, gonna kill you.

[B]

Yeah, but one of them is going.

[A]

To give you billions of pounds. Would you eat the grapes? No. Emma would eat the grapes. Do you know she just doesn't care about her life.

[B]

No, I wouldn't do that. No.

[A]

I was saying she watches the Deer Hunter at the weekend looking for fun games to play with her friends.

[B]

What a sinister, sinister party game.

[A]

Russian roulette at the weekends.

[B]

Yeah, it's like one of those horror films where your friend takes you out to a log cabin and then kills you with grapes.

[A]

I wouldn't.

[B]

I wouldn't risk my life for money.

[A]

No, no. No way.

[B]

Not even in saying that if I was absolutely impoverished and, you know, living in a tent on a canal, I might feel differently about it. But in the position I'm in, as in, like I have a roof over my head, I would not risk my life for it. I do love grapes, though, particularly the.

[A]

Marks and Spencer grapes when they're in season, you know, the big ones, they'd.

[B]

Be hard to turn such an L1.

[A]

You just.

[B]

Sometimes you just say something and it's like, you're sure? I just Forgot you're really 40 now, folk. I tell you.

[A]

No, it's terrible.

[B]

Yeah. Sometimes you're really hot, sexy, young, cool, and then you say stuff like that and you're like, she's an Elwin. She's an Elwin in herself.

[A]

Oh, God. I. I was telling my story, my plane story, because I was two hours delayed on the way back, obviously furious. So I made a couple of friends and one of them was called Eleni. Oh, God, she'll kill me. Now, my Australian friend. I'm sorry, she's from Sydney. Her parents live out. Live near where I used to live. Anyway.

[B]

All right, so.

[A]

So our sister lives in New York. Elaine's just gotten divorced after like something like 17 years of marriage. She's got two kids. She's literally six weeks divorced. She goes over to see her, her sister in New York and she's like, men, I hate them all, blah, blah, blah, blah. And she meets a man. She meets a man six weeks after getting divorced. He was a heart surgeon and he lived in Atlanta. When she was waiting with me on that delayed right, she was going over to see the man. They have been dating for nearly three years and every six weeks they go to a country to meet each other. And sometimes she'll go to Atlanta or they might go to two week holiday. And they were going over to Ireland to meet each other to go on their date. And I was like, how amazing is that? That like you got divorced, met someone six weeks later. Cardiologist. I keep saying that because, like that's lucky and pretty hot as well. Showed me a picture of him and I should get up to meet him again.

[B]

Hold on. So they're dating long distance?

[A]

Yes. Which would be very suitable, I think, when you just want to have your own space as well.

[B]

Very suitable. And also congratulations on finding love again. I mean, there's a banger rebound offer, but nothing wrong with that.

[A]

Two and a half years later, though. It's two and a half years they've been doing this.

[B]

Oh, yeah, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. But she met him six weeks. Nothing wrong with the rebound. I mean, I've had many a successful rebound myself. I was reading an article recently, it was saying that the divorce rates when you share a bed with someone, you're 50% more likely to divorce them. And in Japan, apparently it's very rare to share a bed with your partner. They sleep separately. Now this is what I'm reading online. I don't know if it's true, but I was like, does not make sense.

[A]

Well, last night, right, when Spencer can't sleep, which is like not that often, but like last night I was like the third. I was like spent. You've now woken me up three times. Like, I, I've been asleep since quarter to ten and he woke me up three times because he's kicking around, huffing and puffing. No. And I was like, I, I haven't. He. We briefly spoke about it this morning, but he doesn't know that there's a bigger conversation coming up. Yeah, because you know what? I'm like, I'm gonna tell him if there's any inkling that he can't sleep and I'm in the bed beside him, that he can get the downstairs and not make a sound. Because I then had to get up after a quarter to 12 last night and take, and take a sleeping tablet because I couldn't. Cuz by the time he'd woke me up the third time my body was like, all right, we're getting up now. And like I was like this is.

[B]

Not this very selfish of.

[A]

Very selfish. That's why I can understand why people. Yeah.

[B]

Have separate beds and stuff. I do think that old idea, you know, that idea of kind of the elderly couple in their twin beds in their room and they die held in hands. Sorry for.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Morbid today. I, I will say having had, having, being on my own now for whatever it is, two years and not having shared a bed really for any length of time since then, I don't know how I would do it again. I, I remember the first time I lived with a boyfriend. I found it really difficult. I kept, I kept waking up in the middle of the night and going up to the spare room and all. It was just, I know the bed was small. We weren't, we weren't that flush. But I, yeah, I, I, I find it very difficult now.

[A]

I do like sleeping beside somebody and like I usually try, I like I hook a foot around Spencer's foot. But when someone can't sleep and they're waking me up, that is like not for me.

[B]

Helena Bowman Carter had a different, different heist to her fella. She lived next door to her husband and they had a very successful marriage till they got divorced.

[A]

Yeah. And Cameron Diaz and her fellow Benji whatever his name is have a spare room where they meet up to rendezvous and do their bits and bobs.

[B]

I forgot about that.

[A]

Yeah, but they must have loads of beds. Bedrooms and like. How many bedrooms?

[B]

Well, three.

[A]

No, because they've got two kids. So. Two kids, their two rooms. Five, Five bedrooms.

[B]

I think Cameron's got a couple of quid.

[A]

Come here to me. Will I tell you about Halloween? We had a great time in Ireland.

[B]

Tell me everything.

[A]

Well, we went out. It was only.

[B]

Not everything. Highlights.

[A]

So Auntie Naomi.

[B]

Oh God, yeah.

[A]

Last year Auntie Naomi came up and Theodore wanted to be. I can't even remember what it was. This weird dinosaur thing that no one's ever heard of. A night feeder. A night feeder. And we couldn't do the makeup because we didn't actually know what a night feeder was. And so he's bawling. Crying, blah, blah. This is last year. Furious with his outfit. This year I've done really well. I was like, everyone's very happy with their outfits. And then Naomi was going to come up. My auntie, who's an art teacher who's good at art, supposedly was coming up to help with the face paint. So she was late. So I started doing face paint. I did my own. I did tease. He looked excellent. He was absolutely thrilled. I was thrilled because I thought I'd done such a good job. Then I did autos. Then Auntie Naomi came up and I said, you know what? You do Gigi's witch because she wants to look really good and you're obviously an artist, okay?

[B]

So I thought, is she lying about her creds?

[A]

I've never seen someone. You know when someone's trying not to cry. She. She was just there and her lip just kept going. And Naomi was like, I don't think.

[B]

It doesn't take much to get her lip going.

[A]

Now, from what I can tell, seven times yesterday, she was crying over nothing. I was like, chichi, this is the seventh time now you're crying about a pastry. And anyway, she started crying. Auntie Naomi was like, what's wrong with her? I was like, nothing, nothing. Trying not to say what it was. And she was like, it wasn't great. Can I look? Can I see even? No. Because she covered her face with her hat. She wouldn't show it, so I couldn't get any pictures of it. But when I say she was inconsolable, we had to tell her that, like, it was going to be dark outside, nobody was going to see her. She just kept pulling her hat down over her face. So she. Because I had no time to take it off and redo it because we were running late.

[B]

How bad? Like, if you can't pull off a Luke on Halloween. How bad was it?

[A]

Listen. Bad enough that Auntie Naomi won't be invited back for her face painting skills.

[B]

Harsh.

[A]

And then Naomi was like. Once Naomi found out she was crying over the face page, she couldn't stop. It was meant to be this lovely moment. And, like, I'm walking out the door with everyone crying. Anyway, then we went. We did our trick or treating. I will never be able to get over the amount of treats that you get in Ireland. It is completely insane. And then we got home and I ripped down all the Halloween decorations and I put the kids in their Christmas pajamas.

[B]

When I say I am buzzing, it feels like it hasn't been Christmas in ages. And it just feels. It's exactly the right time for it to be. It's. It's like we've timed it so well. I'm really looking forward to this Christmas. I'm buzzing. I'm. I'm. I'm the same vogue. I'm going to go down to Dawn's, get the decorations. I'm going to go hardcore this year.

[A]

Well, I don't agree. I've seen a lot of people putting up their Christmas trees and I'm like, oh, hold on, we can't. That's a bit. Now, come on. It's the first of November. I know I put the Christmas PJs on, but I want to get the wear out of them. And I just feel like putting up the tree now. I'm feeling like I'm behind, but I don't get it up too soon.

[B]

Before we move on from Halloween, you know, the way we enjoy, like an inappropriate Halloween costume.

[A]

Who doesn't? Yeah, of course, we've got.

[B]

I would say I've got a. I don't know, but a dark sense of humor.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Sense of humor. I just think it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. I mean, you don't, you know, whatever color your sense of humor is. The one. I was like, this really takes the biscuits. Did you see the one? I actually posted it. The woman dressed as Shannon, Matthew's mother. Do you remember with fine Shannon, the T shirt and the Teddy Bernard and the. And she looked so like her. Do you remember this story? For anyone who doesn't remember, there was a mother of Shannon Matthews, who, I think after the Madeleine McCann stuff, saw how much money was raised when kids went missing for parents.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And she's like, I'm gonna get a bit of that dollar. And she. She reported her job missing. And then it. And there was. I think there was £3.5 million spent looking for. From on the. From the police. She wanted to raise 50 grand. The mother. And then at Voice, they found the child defense Shannon in her partner's cousin's attic, I think. But anyway, it brought me down. I was like, it's. I thought it was very funny. Right. But then I went down the Shannon Matthews hole and I was like, oh, it's actually not great. She was tied to a radiator. I didn't know that. And she's now had to change her identity.

[A]

I know, but that's her own blood. That's her mother doing that to her. Like, what the fuck?

[B]

Anyway, Happy Halloween, kids.

[A]

What the.

[B]

Look at this. Sorry. Could I be any. Could I be up any closer on the.

[A]

Joanne's having a real Monday, isn't she? Did you like Julia Styles this Halloween costume? Do you mean Julia Fox? Julia Fox, Yeah.

[B]

I Julia Fox. God love her, I like her, but she's mad as a box of frogs and she's, she's big into the clickbait stuff and the kind of shock jockeying and all that job, so it kind of makes sense that she would do that. Did you see this mo.

[A]

So she, she dressed up as Jackie Kennedy in that like famous pink suit, but, like left all the blood stains on it because, like, Jackie Kennedy famously wanted to keep the suit on to show the person of what he'd done when he shot John F. Kennedy.

[B]

She left it on for two days and when eventually they got it offered, they put it in a kind of room temperature vault somewhere and they're going to Release it in 2135 or something. So the blood's still on it. So anyway, Julia, I was like, statement piece. But when she first described what she was doing, she was doing her whole, you know, I'm iconic and all that jazz. But then when there was a proper backlash, she came out with a real explanation about how, like, it's called feminist law. But people were saying that her explanation was definitely written by chat gbt because you just. Yeah, I think she was leaving the dashes in left, right and center. I mean, Jackie.

[A]

So I just, I just, you know what, she should have just. You either go with it or you just do nothing. Because, like, it's the explanation that got me. Like, oh, come on, don't start hitting us with that.

[B]

But it's the, it's the assassination of a president. Like, it's going to be used in various situations. It's not, you know, it's not like a discreet death, you know, like, it was same with Kathy Griffin when she held up Trump's bloodied head.

[A]

People.

[B]

Right, right. She's like, it's ours.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do, I love that. But like some excuses, I'm just like, oh, God, whatever. Do you remember, do you remember what Winona Ryder said when she was caught robbing all those clothes? Remember she used to be a kleptomaniac and she would just go around Robin clothes when she was like an A lister. She basically her excuse to the police was that she was researching for a role. And I actually thought that was a pretty impressive excuse.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I know. Is that we go, well, you can research for it in prison off you go. I don't think anything happened to her, but yeah, she was trying to rob a lot of Chanel scarves. Yeah, Winona kind of fell off the side of the earth there. I think it was addiction issues. But she's back now. She's doing great.

[A]

She was. She was in Stranger Things. I saw your man. Your friend had very strong feelings for her. David harbor supposedly had very strong feelings for her.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Apparently mesmerized, they said.

[B]

Apparently the. The girl in Stranger Things. Emo. Can you please feed me her name?

[A]

Millie. Bobby Brown.

[B]

Millie Bobby Brown.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Already had accused David harbor of bullying and harassment on the set of Stranger Things. And it's not a good year for David.

[A]

Not a great. Did you dress up as him in the end or. No. You did. Yeah. I know you couldn't wait to get into the Halloween. Sure. I saw you at Battersea park. Fireworks there, having a great time. You're having a ball.

[B]

You know me. Anything with the kids. With the kids. Can you trick or treat as a grown up? Is it inappropriate get away with it?

[A]

I go to Ireland though. Great halls over there. Did you see people dressing up as the Louvre heist people?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I can't believe you don't think they're hot. So they found the people. Oh my God. Okay, wait. I want to get your natural reaction. Don't look, don't look. Okay, put the phone down. Okay. These are supposedly the two men that we don't condone robbing, obviously that basically stole from the Louvre.

[B]

Thank you for telling them that. Folk.

[A]

Joanne steals, but that's her own business. I stay out of it. Okay.

[B]

Steal from you.

[A]

Pardon?

[B]

More hot felons. My God. Hotter and hotter. What is going on?

[A]

These two look like they've just walked out of a IMG Models. Look at them.

[B]

They are stunning.

[A]

And I know, I know by their necks that they are really built below because it's only a headshot. But I know by those necks that they'd have droids.

[B]

There's roids and then their necks. I can tell they are very attractive. They are very attractive.

[A]

I look.

[B]

Crime is sexy.

[A]

You know very little.

[B]

The women writing to criminals in prison and all like crime is hot.

[A]

They could have been a listers. They're so hot. Why do they bother with that? And that's how they got away with it. No one's gonna think hot 2 hot guys like that good looking guys are gonna walk in and rob the Louvre because they would think that they're like actors or models.

[B]

They're going to Be the face of Gucci now in Paris Fashion Week within two years. I'm telling you now. And they're packing diamonds. What'?

[A]

To love.

[B]

I love that. They're. They're. They're gathering. It's hunter. Gather. They're hunting and gathering. No, hold on. We gather. They're hunting. We got it, don't we? Are we together?

[A]

I just. I just think, though, like, what are they gonna get? What are they gonna get in prison? Because they haven't killed anyone. It's. It's just. It's robbery. But. I know it's like. But you can't say. You can't say, oh, this is. This is more robbery than robbery of something else. Like, it's the same. Robbery's robbery.

[B]

I'd say there's maybe some law written in for Napoleon's bits. I'd say if it's something, I'd say Napoleon's bits have an extra layer of robbery attached to them. Like, I don't think it's the same as, like, you know, shoplift. I like it.

[A]

You've.

[B]

You've Winona Rider, Robin, and then you've Robin, Napoleon's crown from the live. It does feel a little extra.

[A]

What I will say is Winona Ryder was Robin and Chanel. So, like, if that feels like. That feels like the same level if I'm wrong, if I'm robbing a steak from Co Op. Not the same. You couldn't anyway, because they're all in the back. But anyway, if I'm robbing a steak from. Yeah, it's not the same as the Louvre. It's just not.

[B]

Yeah, no, you're right. But I feel like. I mean, I'd be surprised if they just get a slap on the wrist now. I think they're going to end up doing some pretty hard time. And wait until you see the amount of fan mail those lads get. I might even write them myself.

[A]

See, now I can understand why you'd fancy them, but I don't. I never got that CEO Killer, because, like, he just killed somebody he didn't know. And there's all these people and fans. Juliana. What's his name again?

[B]

The mayor?

[A]

No, not the mayor. The guy who killed the CEO. What was his name? Oh, yeah. Luigi Manjourne. Yeah, and all his fans. I don't get that. Now, that's not. He's a murderer.

[B]

While we're here, Vogue, you're gonna help me promote my side Hustle.

[A]

Oh, the bags. Oh, my God, the bags.

[B]

No, sorry, the. Stand up.

[A]

I'm Actually going down. Joanne sent me a gift of bags the other day and I was like, I didn't. I'd never seen the inserts before and I was trying to make that into a bag myself. I was like, this is fun. And then I was like, oh, it goes in there.

[B]

Goes in the big bag. It's the baby bag. Sorry, I was taking the person. I said my side hustle was stand up because it's my main hustle. But you're right, I actually do have a side hustle, so that was confusing. So, as we know, I'm on the road with Pedophile and I've. My Killarney dates are coming up. 14th, 15th, 21st and 22nd of November. I'm in Killarney, the Dublin dates are gone. But I also have. Do you know where I've room?

[A]

Where?

[B]

Belfast. 22nd, 23rd of November of January. Sorry, I should have said that.

[A]

It's a wonder why she's got room up in Belfast there, isn't it?

[B]

I totally forgot to mention of two shows in Belfast in January 2026, on the 22nd, 23rd. There's other ones, but I can't see them offhand. But yeah, tell your Belfast mates.

[A]

Tell your Belfast mates to go. And your Killarney mates. We had a great time in Killarney. God, I was violently hungover. Jesus.

[B]

We did. No, weren't you?

[A]

Oh, we had an accident. Yeah, we had an accident of the. We had too much fun. It was an accidental fun evening. Do you not remember? Oh, it's bad. And then you had two fun evenings, but I kept it to one. I had one and a half ones. You had two.

[B]

Sounds about right.

[A]

Yeah, it's because, Davina, I can't be around on the road. No, Absolutely no.

[B]

I remember I was going out. I was going out with a guy at the time and he was like, if you're going out with Davina again, I was like, I'm sorry, we're kindred spirits. He's like, I'm not gonna see you for days.

[A]

Do you remember in Cork? We were in Cork. I think we were doing four nights or something in Cork and. And you. And you were in the room next door to me. But I went and, like, you and Davina had told me that you were in the room and it was like 10 o' clock at night, and I literally went up to your door and I was gonna go in for one drink and I put my hand on the door handle and I said, no, Vogue. Don't, don't. Don't do it. And I actually backed away and I went into my room and, well, was I happy I didn't knock on that door?

[B]

You're like, do you know those? I watch them. The TV shows about medium detectives where they touch something and, like, all this vision comes into their head and they can tell the future in the past. And that was what you. Yeah. You were fed information.

[A]

That happened to me. I was, like, just backing away slowly from the door, hoping you wouldn't hear me. Two didn't even text me.

[B]

The amount of beers we put away in that coaster tour. My God. My God.

[A]

I know, I know.

[B]

The glory days, huh?

[A]

It was so much fun. Okay, I'm bringing something back. You ready?

[B]

Oh, thank God. Is it Colots?

[A]

No pedal pushes, though. I've actually got a pair on the way. Pedal pushers are back. They're back. My calves. Can't wait. I only bought. I bought a pair and I know I'm gonna have to return them because my calves are not gorgeous. Listen, they'll be exploding out the back of them. I'm not sure that the pedal pushers are going to work for me, but I'm going to give it a go.

[B]

Like your man. What was your man? The Hulk? He just rips through all his clothes, pushing out the back.

[A]

A boot company got on to Louisa. Did you not remember that? They were like, they do boots for, like, oversized cal. They wanted to work at me. And I was like, thanks for thinking of me.

[B]

But like, no, it's a polite no.

[A]

But I would like two pairs, please.

[B]

I do. I do remember, because I used to have larger calves than I do now, and I think my calves have gotten a little smaller from cycling, but I had.

[A]

I remember that I cycle everywhere. Mine are going the opposite.

[B]

Well, do you know what yours are? Your. Yours are strong. That's what yours is. It's muscle V. Okay, great.

[A]

And everyone's so intimidated by me. Go on.

[B]

And everyone is intimidated by you. And everyone's jealous. If there's any gives you any. They're jealous. Intimidated.

[A]

Done. Exactly. Exactly.

[B]

But, like, you're. That is muscle. And like, there's people who are literally getting implants in their calves to have the calves that you have.

[A]

Yeah, Joanna, they're men. The men are getting implants. I don't want implants in my calves for sake.

[B]

But I remember myself struggling to get boots. Remember when, like, the, the knee boots were really in when I was younger? I, I. So I'm really disappointed you didn't face that boot company because I would have appreciated the Heads up when I was young because I needed special boots and.

[A]

I have to, I have to send back. I, I. Do you remember? I don't know if you'll know them loads. People buy these Paris Texas boots and they're really gorgeous, Gorgeous. Oh, desperate for a pair of them. Got one. Couldn't get it above the ankle.

[B]

Yeah, they're not, I know it's. They're not inclusive and they're making them for these little twiggy legs and you're like, come on, we're real women here.

[A]

We're not. Well, some women have. Mainly women have twiggy legs, but I don't.

[B]

I remember being. I was going out with the guy at the time. We were in a pub and a woman walked in and she. Great legs. And he was admiring her legs and I said, because I can't make. I have to make everything about myself when it comes to my boyfriends. I can't have them look anywhere else or I get, I like start spiraling. So I was like, I've got legs like that. My legs are the same as hers. Do you know this kind of very childish. And he looked him and he went, ah, now Joanne, he's like, I'm willing to lie to you about some stuff, but I'm not lying to you about that prick.

[A]

You. That is not what I was going to talk about anyway, sorry.

[B]

Spoofer of the week.

[A]

Spoofer of the week is back now. You know what you want me to like, this will maybe not last beyond this week, but we're taking it back.

[B]

The Queens of inconsistency.

[A]

Yeah. Spoof of the week. I had to do it because he's. It's, it's driving me. It's driving me up the goddamn walls. Kevin Federline.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Spoofer of the week.

[B]

I mean, 247 spoofing that like. I mean he's next level spoof, he's high end. There's top tier spoofers, there's middle of the range and then there's kind of people who dabble in spoofing and he is, he is a professional. It's 247 job for him.

[A]

He is absolutely spoofed out of it. He is. So I've. If you watch his memoir. Yeah.

[B]

Is that. Are you going to explain why you think he's a spoofer to help you on.

[A]

That's your job. I read the emails.

[B]

Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'll explain your bit.

[A]

I have all the good bits after. We just need a brief explanation of why we're here.

[B]

Kevin Federline. Kevi Feds is. Has, as we all know, unless you've been living under a rock, released a memoir just in time for around the time that her child alimony payments have run out, that Britney's paying for Kevin and the kids because all the kids have turned 18 or 21. I think when they turned 18, Kevin moved into Hawaii because the real there. And. Yeah, and then he does this kind of thing where he basically slags her off in his memoir and then says like, I only want the best for her. And we're like, you're full of. And I, even though I love to be across pop culture things, I am not going to engage with the book because I'm not giving him the credit. And when I say the credit, I mean my audible credits.

[A]

No, we're not going to read it, we're not going to listen to it. But now can I tell you about his divorce settlement? So he basically got around 1 million to 1.3 million as a. As a settlement fee. On top of that, he's had 40 grand a month.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

For 20 years. So for two decades. 40 grand a month. And now that's up. And now he's decided to bring out a book on Britney. And it is like the stuff that he's saying, he's basically like. He said that he found she was. She was drinking when she was pregnant, she was doing cocaine when she was breastfeeding. She used to. This was the worst one where she said that he said that the boys would wake up and she'd be standing at the door of their room just staring in at them with a knife in her hand. And when they'd say, is everything okay? She'd say, yeah, and just like lightly.

[B]

Pad off and pad off. It makes her sound like she's in an asylum. Also, I could easily be chopping vegetables and walking and decide to check on my kids. Stop trying to make it sound like she's, you know, maybe she's opening packages. Exactly. Do you know what I mean? She's still using those knives. She's obviously attached to them. Maybe she was dancing like she does.

[A]

Yeah, she was mid routine. But anyway, she has come out and said that, like he's gaslighting her and stuff like that. But I think he is a spoofer because the of him releasing the memoir and trying to be like, no, basically trying to be like, I'm doing this for her own good. Like, I've always wanted the best for her. You're doing your arse. You Literally want her money. And you're not. Like, you don't want the best for her. You're not being helpful by doing this. She probably isn't in a great place. I think that we can all see that. And I think that he is a spoofer and a wanker. And.

[B]

And there I had. I actually did a video about it. And I was saying, I made. I can't remember what I said. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Yeah, I completely agree. I think ratting someone out, exposing all their deepest, darkest secrets while you've been living off them financially for several years is your school. It's the lowest of the low. First word. Second, we're a bag. That's you, Kevin.

[A]

And did you see about Sia's husband, though? They're all at it. See. Is getting divorced from her husband. And like, he basically wants this CR. He wants 250 grand a month in spousal support and 77 grand a month in child support. Because although he used to be a radiation oncologist, he said that he hasn't worked for years, so would have to retrain. So has to be in the same level of lifestyle that he was with her. And it's like sometimes that actually works in court where the judge is like, okay, like, he wants. Like he wants 327 grand a month. Who needs us?

[B]

What the.

[A]

Are you buying a house?

[B]

A lot of ASOs. Holes. Well, yay. But you know what? It's gas. And I used to hold my hands up and say, I am a raving hypocrite. And I talk about it in my new standard show. And I do say, like, I do think there's different rules for men and women. But. But if a woman got that in her divorce, I'd be like, get a girl. When a man does it, I'm like, hideous. Very unattractive. There's something. There's something particularly unattractive about it. There really is.

[A]

It's.

[B]

It's. It's really off putting.

[A]

I think time has to come into it, though. I do. Because, like, when you look at the likes of like JLo, remember she married that dancer fell. She was married to him for one year and he got 14 million offer. Why does he get 14 million for being married to her for a year? Why? Yeah, 14 million. Do you know what I also find weird? Last one. Sorry. I went to deep diving. Guy Ritchie and Madonna. Guy Ritchie. Guy Ritchie, who's a very famous and like, well to do Director, got around 76 to 92 million off Madonna. What how does that make sense? Oh, my God. I know. Because they said.

[B]

Because they've kids together, don't they?

[A]

I know, but come. They've one kid together, I think. One kid. Why does he need 92 million kids?

[B]

I think if there. If you've lived with someone who's loaded, then you are. You're entitled to maintain that lifestyle. You're lucky I didn't divorce you when I moved out. I would have been entitled to all sorts. I'm taking the housekeepers and the cars.

[A]

And the helicopter. Let's bring the helicopter. And you can have the helicopter. I don't want it anymore.

[B]

I've become accustomed folk is now my legal right to have chefs, PJs and three children.

[A]

That's not what I have. Just in case anyone doesn't realize that is a joke, please don't write about it. I don't own a helicopter and I don't have a chef. And. Yes.

[B]

Or three children. Or.

[A]

Yes. Yeah.

[B]

One of them's a cutout. The other two, there was work law. Work labor laws for fairies. She had a third.

[A]

Well, thank you all so much for listening. That's been a fantastic listen. We started on a. On a quite a low point, but we've ended on a high, I would say.

[B]

I think so. I think so. Child labor laws is always a sweet one to go out on, I think.

[A]

Happy Friday. Well done. Keep sending us your emails, too.

[B]

Oh, do you know that someone mailed me? Did I tell you I got a message off a woman saying that? I don't. She's like, I don't believe you.

[A]

Right?

[B]

That Fairboy Vogue email, She's like, you sent it to yourself. We certainly did not. I mean, if we were emailing ourselves, Joe would be thrilled, I'd say, because he'd love more emails coming in. But we do not send emails to ourselves.

[A]

Joe's. Look, we even arrive. I had someone yesterday mail me about him. I said, I bought three of those mattresses for my house in Ireland. She goes, you did? You're shite. Buy three of them for your house in Ireland. I was like, well, I actually did.

[B]

Like, do you want proof? The receipts I had.

[A]

I had bunk beds. Like, I had to buy three mattresses. It's like, why would I lie?

[B]

Yeah, why would she? Is she suggesting you didn't pay for the mattresses, or is she suggesting you only got two when you're just flexing?

[A]

I think she's just suggesting that there's no way I could have bought three mattresses. But I. I did buy three mattresses.

[B]

There's no laws against buying.

[A]

And I'll buy 10 mattresses if I want, but I don't need any more mattresses now. I'm all right for now.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

This has been a global player original production.