MTGM EXTRA! "Don't be scared..."

Summary

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My Therapist Ghosted Me – MTGM EXTRA! "Don't be scared..."

Episode Date: December 24, 2025
Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
Podcast: My Therapist Ghosted Me (Global)

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Episode Overview

In this festive bonus episode, Vogue and Joanne dive into their usual blend of honest chat, self-deprecating humor, and rambling reflections on life, TV, and holiday plans. They discuss live TV nerves, awkward family obligations, wild Grindr DMs, New Year's resolutions, and manage to sneak in a few announcements for Joanne's upcoming tour. The tone is candid, irreverent, and heavy with the Christmas spirit (and a little existential dread).

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter: Live TV & Self-Editing

• Joanne expresses dread about live television, saying as a comic, she prefers a "time delay and a heavy edit" (00:19–00:36).

  "I like, I like the dark stuff, but you just can't. ...I like a time delay and a heavy edit. I like to know it's there that I can lean on it." — Joanne (00:36)

• Vogue, on the other hand, loves live TV, citing impatience as the reason (00:21–00:27).

2. Reality TV & Outtakes

• Discussing ‘the jungle’ (presumably ‘I’m a Celeb’), they share how hard it is to self-censor 24/7 (01:11).
• Martin Kemp’s quietness in reality shows is mentioned, joking about how group settings are overwhelming ("I like morphing off into different little groups..." — Vogue, 01:44).
• Both admit to not being fans of group singing segments on TV.

3. Christmas Music, Celebrity Deaths & Chart Ambitions

• Vogue and Joanne recall their single "Good Girls" being number one in the Irish charts for "four minutes" before Shane McGowan's death took over the news (03:00).

  "Remember I said to you, this is the anniversary of me saying your fault. The only thing holding you back from taking Christmas No.1 is if something happens like Shane McGowan dies." — Joanne (03:06)

• Staggering royalties for ‘Fairytale of New York’: They marvel at it earning around £400k per year (03:00–03:21).
• Side anecdotes about Kirsty McColl’s tragic passing take a darkly comic turn, as always, met with a comic “It’s Christmas Eve!” call for decorum (04:51).

4. Christmas Obligations & Dodging Family Events

• Joanne confesses bailing on her annual cousins’ lunch, offering to "soften the blow" with a January reschedule (05:08).
• The hosts laugh about how sometimes you just need to do what you want at Christmas, not what everyone else expects (05:53).

5. Social Batteries & Homebody Tendencies

• Both hosts relate to the need for solitude and avoiding excessive socializing:

  “I’m particularly kind of strung out on people this Christmas now. I have canceled all of them since…” — Joanne (06:00)

• Vogue admits nearly inviting herself to Joanne’s for a spontaneous night but opted out to avoid a late one (06:18).

6. "QVC moment" and Tour Dates

• Joanne cheekily plugs her upcoming shows—listing cities and encouraging listeners to buy tickets (09:56–10:45).
• Vogue jokes about attending multiple shows and negotiating for free flights.

7. New Year's Plans & Resolutions (“Resos”)

• Vogue’s Plans: Home in Dublin, classic family pub dinner, fireworks, “in bed by one” (13:04).
• Joanne’s Ideal: Skipping the countdown, aiming for a low-key luncheon, melatonin, and rest (14:03).

  "I’d like to eat something on the day, do a nice New Year’s Eve luncheon... take a melatonin, sleep through the countdown, wake up, smog, rested, invested..." — Joanne (14:12)

• Both share a shared bemusement at the enforced cheer of “Auld Lang Syne” and pitch for a new, possibly Bewitched-themed, song for New Year’s (13:53–14:03).
• Resolutions: Vogue plans a huge clear-out and stress reduction ("every time I wake up and look at my aura ring..." — 11:48), considering trying sound baths. Joanne jokes about "moving on from the boo booze"—a play on toy names and alcohol.

8. Parenting, Perspective, and Suburban Life

• Vogue recounts funny moments with her children and their skewed sense of wealth and housing (12:34).
• Jokes about buying their own house in London versus parental provision–relatable urban woes.

9. Solitude, Mental Health, and Home

• Joanne notes she can go days without leaving her flat, resulting in "ratty" moods and needing more outside time (16:28).

  "I realized, I said, Joanne, you haven’t left the flat in three days. ...You’re like a cooped-up German." — Joanne (16:45)

• Vogue suggests borrowing her dog to force outdoor walks, which spirals into banter about drone delivery of pets.

10. Kooky Dating App Encounters & The "Horny Ghost"

• Listener Letter: A listener shares a wild Grindr DM from “Horny Ghost”—offering to “float around” and play (18:49).
• Both have fun dissecting the message:

  "Sorry, that was not a kink. That’s a nervous breakdown." — Joanne (19:10) "Some people dress up as babies and go around in nappies and have an adult-sized cot. I think the fact that he thinks he’s a ghost is less frightening to me." — Vogue (19:12)

• They ponder if respecting all kinks has gone too far, noting this one borders on "loon-shaming" and not deserving respect (19:21–19:37).
• The follow-up message (“I see you’re scared of ghosts. I’ll see you later”) is deemed both "weird" and "fascinating" (19:48).

11. Humor in Dating DMs & Modern Online Etiquette

• Producer Joe asks if there's still room for humor and mucking about in DMs (21:03).

  "Not with me, Joe. ...We’re in our 40s now. Just get on with it." — Joanne (21:09) "If I had to start online dating again, the desperation leaking from my pores would be unbearable." — Vogue (21:19)

12. Nude Skiing, Social Media, & Who Listens

• Vogue jokes about staged "naked on the slopes" Instagram content, mimicking influencers (21:51).
• They close with a nod to their audience:

  "Happy Christmas, girlies and boys." — Vogue (22:05)
  "I respect our listeners too much to call them girlies. Happy Christmas, women and gays." — Joanne (22:11)
  "And the odd straight. ...And Frank ...and them ...and to the ghosts." — Vogue & Joanne (22:23–22:32)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I like a time delay and a heavy edit. I like to know it’s there that I can lean on it." — Joanne (00:36)
• "Remember I said to you, this is the anniversary of me saying your fault. The only thing holding you back from taking Christmas No.1 is if something happens like Shane McGowan dies." — Joanne (03:06)
• "Sorry, that was not a kink. That’s a nervous breakdown." — Joanne (19:10)
• "Some people dress up as babies and go around in nappies ... I think the fact that he thinks he’s a ghost is less frightening to me." — Vogue (19:12)
• "If I had to start online dating again, the desperation leaking from my pores would be unbearable." — Vogue (21:19)
• "Happy Christmas, women and gays. ...And to the one straight man called Frank. ...And to the ghosts." — Joanne & Vogue (22:11–22:32)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:19–01:11: Live TV fears and real-time editing as a comic
• 03:00–04:51: Christmas singles, chart trivia, and Shane McGowan story
• 05:08–06:09: Dodging family holiday obligations
• 09:56–10:45: Joanne’s tour dates and comic “QVC moment”
• 13:04–14:48: New Year’s plans and collective apathy for the countdown
• 16:28–17:05: Reflections on solitude, working from home, and getting outside
• 18:49–19:48: Grindr ghost DM read and comic analysis
• 21:03–21:19: Is there room for humor in dating DMs? "Get on with it"
• 22:05–22:32: Closing shoutouts for all listeners (“women, gays, the odd straight, and ghosts”)

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Tone and Takeaways

With their combination of raw honesty, quick wit, and willingness to poke fun at themselves and the world, Vogue and Joanne deliver another episode that both distracts from and embraces holiday stress. The chat is peppered with tangents, but beneath the jokes are real, relatable feelings about social exhaustion, family pressure, and the awkwardness of modern connection—online and off.

Whether dodging relatives, planning new year's resolutions, or wondering if that DM is ghosting or just ghosts, the pair leave listeners with laughter and the comforting sense that we're all just muddling through.

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For Full Episode Details & Upcoming Shows

• Tour tickets, merch, and contact: mytherapistghostedme.com
• Write in: [e-mail]

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Happy Christmas, women, gays, the odd straight (hi Frank), and any ghostly listeners!

Transcript

[A]

This is a Global Player original podcast.

[B]

Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted me.

[A]

I can't stand live tv.

[B]

Live TV is my favorite thing in the world to do. That's what I, that's what I want to do. I love it so much.

[A]

I can't.

[B]

Maybe because I'm in. Well, I'm impatient. So like, at least I know what live tv. They're not going to tell you to hurry up and wait. It's just like hurry up and go. It's the only time in tv.

[A]

I think as a, as a comic it's tricky, trickier because you're, you're second guessing and you're, you're filtering things a million times, you know, because I like, you know, I like the dark stuff, but you just can't. It's just, I don't think, I don't think it represents me very well as a comic and as a person, to be honest. I like, I like, I like a time delay and a heavy edit. I like to know it's there that I can lean on it.

[B]

You get away with no edit though. Like you. I can't get away with no edit. Like I, I can edit on the go. But there were a couple of things, even in the jungle, I was like, oh, probably shouldn't have said that.

[A]

Well, no, because you're. I, I, I, we, I edit on the go as well. Like on this we'd be. I know because with the way we talk and then we're like, oh, that we won't put that in or we'll take that age or whatever. But also if you're in the jungle, like you're, you can't edit yourself 247 in a reality TV show space like that or you literally be sitting there mute. Can I believe Martin Kemp was down?

[B]

Lovely man.

[A]

Didn't say a lot.

[B]

No, he didn't say a lot. I don't. But like, he's a very, didn't we.

[C]

He's a Martin. We only saw the edit maybe off.

[A]

The, maybe out of the edit. He was shot in 24 7.

[C]

Maybe.

[B]

He's a quieter man and I think he's, he's a very wise man and he's really nice. When he got him into one, a one to one conversation, I was probably quieter than usual. I kind of, I like morphing off into different little groups. You know what I mean? I don't love like massive groups and I don't, as you know, I don't adore singing. So the singing was Hard for me. Oh, no.

[C]

Did you not do a little tap number that got edited out? Did we. Was there any tap?

[B]

I did do a bit. I did my real singing voice.

[A]

I did do a full Riverdance rendition. They could it. You're not blaming. Yeah. So can I just caveat this by saying I actually, I only teasing Martin Campbell because I know he kind of had a reference not saying a huge amount. I worked at Martin before. He's a lovely, lovely one.

[B]

Yeah, no, he is lovely and so was his wife. But now I did do a bit of singing. I did my real singing voice as a joke because me and Ruby were talking about how untalented we were compared to everybody else who was like singing and dancing. And then like, I was like, okay, Ruby, let's do a real singing voices. So we did our real singing voices in and F. And it didn't go down very well.

[C]

I don't think we've heard your real.

[B]

No, you, you wouldn't. Yeah, all I was was sad in there. Supposedly we're sitting there with puppy dog eyes. I wasn't sad once.

[A]

Speaking of your singing voice, I don't know if you know, but it's Happy Anniversary to Good Girls being number one for four minutes in the Irish charts.

[B]

Stop.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now remember, and we thought we could have gotten four hours out of it, except sadly Shane McGowan passed away. And remember I said to you, this is the anniversary of me saying, your fault. The only thing holding you back. Yeah, from taking Christmas and porn is if something happens like Shane McGann dies. Now, that wasn't a massively impressive prediction. He was kind of on the edge at the time. Like, you know, he was looking a.

[B]

Little completely disagree with you. It was, it was totally down to you. You are the one who predicted it and it happened. It had nothing to do with his lifestyle at all. It was just Joan McNally.

[A]

No, I'd say shame again was at home going, I'll be if. If V. Williams thinks she's taken number one, that I'm going to do something. I'm going to pull the cord on myself. Whatever it takes to keep that health out of the charts.

[B]

Fair enough.

[A]

I want you to guess the royalties that fairy tale in New York make every year. Oh, now, bearing in mind you're not far off. 400 grand.

[C]

Is that international? Is that just Ireland?

[A]

Well, I read, I read it in a UK publication.

[B]

I'm glad you opened that because I, I looked at and I was like, interesting, but not interesting enough for me to Open.

[A]

Yeah, I opened it in a little paper called the Faily Kale.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And I think that's pretty. It was never number one in the UK. Never once.

[B]

400 grand a year for sitting on your RS. Joanne, get yourself into studio with me. We're starting a band. I know. Last week we. We said we were starting something else. We're starting to ban now.

[A]

They're sitting in heaven, actually. They're not sitting on their ass. Kirsty McCall's passed away. She was killed in a water skiing accident years ago. And Shane has passed as well.

[B]

She kind of was. She was on a jet ski and then somebody ran over her with a boat. Oh, God, Graham.

[A]

God love her.

[B]

Gr. What? Way to go.

[C]

It's Christmas Eve.

[B]

Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's Christmas Eve.

[A]

Creature was stirring. Not even a mouse.

[B]

I'll tell you what, I've done something very un Christmasy. So we're recording this before Christmas Eve.

[A]

Don't say you've gone down the Easter Bunny route already with the hat. You're not making. The hats are my.

[B]

My Christmas. My Christmas tree is up. My Christmas tree is up. My Easter tree. Sorry. No. I was meant to fly home to Dublin tomorrow. I haven't even brought myself to tell my cousins yet for our annual cousins lunch. And I was going to fly in the morning and then back after, and then I was going to fly to Spain on Saturday and I was like, you know what? This is too much for me and I've now opted out. I just haven't told anyone because what I'm going to do to soften the blow is book another lunch in January when I'm home and say, yeah, listen, can't make this one, but what about this lunch? And just try and like, get another cousin's lunch on the go. So I have to ring one of my cousins, Dave Power, because he will go spare at me. He's already slagging me off in the group anyway, so it's going to just get worse. But I just feel like Christmas just sometimes you have to do whatever you want to do at Christmas. And this is what I want.

[A]

That's the spirit.

[B]

Everyone else, my favorite family.

[A]

I'm particularly kind of strung out on people this Christmas now. I have canceled all of them since, but I'm just. I'm suddenly very aware of, like, they're.

[B]

Happy about that, by the way. They're happy.

[A]

But you did.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Well, some of them are, Some of them aren't. Some of them are. Some of them aren't.

[B]

Some of them aren't. What?

[A]

Some of them aren't. Some of them are.

[B]

I nearly invited myself to your house last night because I'd had a few drinks when I went to that Christmas party and I was like, maybe I'll just go over to Joanne's. And then I thought, no, I won't get home till very late if I go over there.

[A]

He would have been more than Malcolm. Yeah. See me shooting up on my own in front of the telly, watching Gavin and Stacy. Happy Christmas.

[B]

Come in. Come, come. I really was tempted. I nearly did it as well. And then I was like, that's a late one. It was like that time at the. When we did our cork shows, and I was like. And then I didn't touch your door handle.

[A]

So you're making it like this is some sort of crackdown, some sort of brothel where you come in and never.

[B]

You and I together are a problem when we have drinks.

[A]

This is a very innocent, family, focused, civilized apartment with some drink in the fridge, like.

[C]

Come on. It's.

[A]

I'm.

[B]

I don't. I know that, but I don't trust. Me and you together. That's the problem. It's the combination. Anyway, I'm reading in the Christmas musical. My friends, my kids.

[C]

My friends.

[B]

I have no friends.

[A]

What an amazing Freudian slip. See? And this is why I should have.

[B]

Taken my friends to help.

[A]

I finished. I'm a Christmas. I'm on my Christmas holidays today, and Isaac. I have to go into town to meet a couple of people, which I would have loved to have gone in, but it's. The weather's too bad, or I'm. I have no friends in the flat. I need to have children, so I have friends in the flat. That's what I need. Do people still go to midnight mass?

[C]

Not as many as used to, I would guess.

[A]

Not you, Joe. Actual religious people.

[C]

I went to midnight mass once, actually.

[B]

Did you? Midnight?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Why would you go at midnight?

[C]

Not Catholic one, obviously.

[A]

Just you. No, baby Nigel Farage setting fire to things. Come on, what was it? Tommy Robinson leading the charge. Go on, what was it? Not.

[C]

Not that one.

[A]

Just. Can I just do a bit of QVC in the middle here, if you don't mind.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

As we're all about to disappear for the Christmas season, I am. I am on sale. You can purchase me. Like a gift for Christmas.

[B]

Give you a fiverr. Give you a fiverr.

[A]

You take it back straight away. I know you. You take a fiber and then you go into my phone and revolute. Revolute it back to yourself.

[B]

I wasn't worth it. I want my five.

[A]

Didn't laugh once. Yeah, because you've seen it 19 times. Folk.

[B]

Never. I'm good. Excuse me.

[C]

I have.

[B]

I've seen it once. Women comedians are shy.

[A]

Bring on Ricky Gervais. Never heard of her. What did she even do? I'm like, folk, please, please.

[B]

Look, I'm coming to the Influential.

[A]

You're a tastemaker.

[B]

Can I. Can I sell the matinee personally myself on my own page, like it's my show. Can I just be in charge? I'll be in charge of the matinee. That just makes sense.

[A]

The matinee's flying. I. I'm suddenly raised. I put on an 8pm in Auckland.

[B]

15Th of February, 15th of Feb. Oh, Joe, we're going to that. Like 100. I can't miss it. I actually. I actually have to send that to the wee, so I need that to go into my diet. You know, it's.

[A]

Do you know what's kind of slightly 15th of Feb. Disappointing now that I have to. I have to then do another show at 8pm Because I'll be like, woo.

[C]

Yeah, we'll be trashed, mate.

[A]

You're not. You're not out.

[B]

It's gone. It's in my diary.

[A]

So I have. There's stuff. There's stuff left. There's tickets left for certain. But maybe put some music behind this, Joe. Bim bomb bim bim bomb bim bom. Peanut. Fall 2026. Here's where you can find me. We've got. These are what the dates that our tickets left were. Melbourne, 10th of April. Wellington, 16th of April. Auckland, 17th of April. Brisbane, 20th of April. Perth, 22nd of April. Early show, late show is gone. Sydney, 28th of April.

[B]

Oh, God, can I not go to them? Will you pay for my flight and I'll come to them?

[A]

We have Brighton, 18th of June. Manchester, 26th, 2016. Liverpool, 27th of June, 12th of December, 3Arena 2026. Bing Bong. Bing Bing bong. Thank you.

[B]

Bing Bong. We're going to Johan show. I'm gonna go four times. Four times. And then one more person asks me to go. I'm like, okay, listen, there's only so many I can go to. And I'm gonna commit to four. And I have to go to four.

[A]

What are you doing for New Year's?

[B]

I'm in Dublin. Where are you?

[A]

Oh, are you? I think I'm gonna stay in London, you know.

[B]

Really? Why?

[A]

Yeah, I think I'm gonna Put on like a glitzy dress, Go to a house party in East.

[B]

Well, I kind of considered coming back to London. Then I was like, hang on a second. I've told people they could stay in my house. So I don't own my house over. I can't just be like, oh, actually decided to come home. So you can't be in my house anymore.

[A]

Any goals for 2026? Any res. Resies, as you'd say?

[B]

So some of my resos. The resos. Hello.

[A]

Sorry.

[C]

You did that.

[B]

I. I told you that I'm doing a mass clear out, which is going to make me feel so much better.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

About myself. And I'm gonna try and reduce my stress levels because every time I wake up and look at my aura ring, I'm like, what the hell is going on here? Like, I don't deserve this level of stress that's going on. So I'm gonna try and do maybe some sound baths and stuff.

[A]

Lovely.

[B]

People seem to do them. And they seem really chilled, don't they?

[A]

Yeah. My goal is to move on to fre. To move on from the boo Booze.

[B]

Are you still on the. I know the kids got the boo boo's from Santa. They got the fufus. They won't know. They won't know those.

[A]

Your kids are. They're. They've got taste.

[B]

My kids have taste. Yeah.

[A]

Your kids, they might know. I could say I could see Gigi, bring her to a Labubu specialist to have it evaluated, to be honest.

[B]

Well, no, no, I actually don't think they will. T came home from his friends the other day and he's like, oh, my God, he's a billionaire. His house is enormous. And I was like, t, please don't say that to them when you see them. Why do we live here? An apartment. I'm like, okay, okay, T, buy your own house in London and see how you get on.

[A]

Was that T or was that Spencer? Because they both sound so similar to Mina at this point. I just can't tell. I could see. I could see that being something he would come home and say in his running pants.

[B]

Whose panther? Yeah. Oh, my God. He put on these little. Little budgie smugglers that he was meant to go swimming in. I know. I was like, oh, my God. So New Year's I am going home to Dublin and I'm going to the yacht club and they have like, where all the kids can play. I'm kind of doing, you know what I'm doing? I'm doing a New Year's Eve that we would have done with our parents. So we go down to the pub and have some food and have some drinks while the kids all run around and play with each and then we watch the fireworks and then we're home by like God, I was gonna say 10, 8. And then we'll have a couple of drinks, the kids will go to bed and then we'll be bed by one.

[A]

Yeah, that's nice. Yeah. So I, I, I'm happy to miss the countdown. I find it's a lot of pressure and I, I can't watch. I can't bear the old angelong thing. I find it.

[B]

Why can't we get a different song?

[A]

It's time to update something by Bewitched, Samantha, Mumba maybe.

[C]

Where?

[B]

I gotta get through this. I gotta get through this.

[A]

Kindle in the wind gonna make it.

[B]

No, not coming. We're trying to be upbeat going into 2026. Hello, danger.

[A]

Danger. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'd be nice. Yeah. As you're staring your mother in the eyes, singing and holding hands. That'd be good. So I'm so happy to miss the countdown but I would like to eat something on the day, I'd like to do a nice New Year's Eve luncheon where I put on a pair of nice boots, jeans and a nice top vibes, get a curly blow dry, head into town, do some lunching, then home, take a melatonin, sleep through the countdown, wake up, smog, rested, invested, go for another luncheon. Yeah.

[B]

This is in your, this is in your wildest dreams that this will happen. And now I've realized I up trying to get you to Dublin because I mentioned that we're doing all that boring stuff and you won't want to come there now.

[A]

Now I have no luncheon plans, no one has invited me to lunch and I haven't arranged any lunches but that.

[B]

If you've no plans, you're invited to mine and I have a spare room and it's downstairs, it's out of the way, no one will be in your way.

[A]

Thank you. I'm very committed to my invisible plants. Thank you so much. I, well I might just do a shout out and instead be like, is anyone around? I don't know, it could get pathetic. If you see me doing a shout out insta. No judgment please. Everyone's away. Okay, I'm just trying to.

[B]

You see, you're taking a melatonin at 2 o' clock in the day. You know that her plans were cancelled.

[A]

My soft drawer New Year's Eve.

[B]

So New Year's Day will be one of your sleeping tablet stories. I 14 hours.

[A]

I woke up, it's 2027, I can't believe it. And I got them across the counter sleep for a year and a half. I did notice though, the other day I was like, I was really ratty and I felt very exhausted and I was like, oh, just this year just needs to go now. You know, I'm ready to like, just. It feels like I've been ready to tap out for about nine days, but there's been nine additional days of kind of work coming in that I obviously want to do and need to do. And I've noticed that I have a habit because I work like for myself. I can work remotely and I don't have, unless I'm touring, I don't have a huge amount of reason to leave the house.

[B]

Yeah, well, I kind of just want to be in my house all the time, to be honest. It's my favorite place to be. I don't want to be anywhere else.

[A]

Well, you have kids and, and a dog, so at least you there, you have some sense of purpose in the day to walk outside into nature. I don't. I could literally sit here and run all day. And I realized, I said, john, you haven't left the flat in three days. That's why you're ratty. You're like a cooped up German.

[B]

It's like you gotta get out for a little walk. Why don't you borrow my dog?

[A]

Yeah, that'd be good. But that means I have to get out to get the dog, which means I won't get out.

[B]

I'll drop them off.

[A]

Sandwich up on a drone, will you? Hanging off a drone on a harness. Drop them on the roof, I'll collect them off the helipad.

[B]

Oh my God. Joanne, I want to come to your house for two hours. Can I come to your house for two hours after this? I'm leaving at nine. I'm leaving at nine.

[A]

Well then you're not welcome. It's a six hour commitment. You're in or you're right. Need to sign in at the door. Need to clock in and you can't clock. It's a full shift with me.

[B]

No, I can't do six hours. See what happens to me after I have one drink. I'm like, well I do, cuz my Christmas party tomorrow, it's a terrible feeling. I can't bear it. I hate this about myself. Amra goes to bed at 12. I'm like, where are you Going. And she's like, bed V, we've been drinking since seven.

[A]

I'm like, no, I know, it's. I. You're a bit like myself. I was doing a piece for the Sunday, the Sunday Time, Star magazine today. And they're like, hey, would you get people out of run house party? And I was like, it's really tricky because I don't leave anyone else's. So I think I'd have to call the police and blame the neighbors just to kind of get them out because I wouldn't have the balls to say, you need to go. Because I've never once listened to anyone telling me to leave their house. Do you know what I mean?

[B]

Hello, Juan, Vogue. And Joe, Last week you were talking about dating, ghosting, and also ghosts. So I thought I would share the shit show message I got on Grindr last week. I've been single just over a year now and decided to dip my toe back into the dating game over the summer. And to be honest, it's been a bit of a wipeout so far. However, a message I got just took the biscuit last week. Okay, first of all, I want to state I do not kink shame people. Neither do we. I love the variety of randomness that people find gets them off. But it isn't always for me especially very diplomatic.

[A]

You should run for president.

[B]

I got a message from a profile called Horny Ghost that read, hello there, don't be scared. I'm a real ghost and I float around and see everything. I see you love wanking guys off. Would you like to play with me? Oh my God, I'm scared and turned on naturally.

[A]

Sorry, that was not a kink. That's a nervous breakdown.

[B]

Joanne. Some people dress up as babies and go around in nappies and have an adult sized caught. I think the fact that he thinks he's a ghost is less frightening to me.

[A]

I think this narrative of not. That's not king shame has lost the role of itself. And I think now we are just accommodating lunatics so that. So not to like loon shame them. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, that's not.

[C]

You're.

[A]

You're out of your mind. Do you know what I mean?

[C]

You're.

[B]

You're.

[A]

The mind is gone. You're gone.

[B]

And.

[A]

But we're, we're trying to be respectful because that's where we are. But I sometimes think we're respecting stuff that doesn't necessarily deserve respect. And this would be one of those situations. Carry on.

[B]

Well, I Don't know. I've just heard weirder things to be honest. Anyway, naturally I didn't respond because why the would I? But after an hour I got a lovely little follow up that read I see you're scared of ghosts. I'll see you later. I was so tempted to reply and basically find out what in the ever living was going on, but thought a total best to just stay out of that one and not open the can of worms. Each their own and all that. I'd be so interested to meet that person. Like I think that person would be fascinating. Like a bag of weird. Are you?

[A]

This is a guy with a beard on his head living in his mother's basement wearing a sheet. Wearing a sheet. Also, it's out of season. That's what you. That's a spoon. Like that was an October dm. It's Christmas now.

[B]

Just don't disappear because it's not Halloween. Ghosts are forever. All year round. I didn't see my ghost at Halloween, did I?

[A]

It seems a little late in the game. It seems a little late in the season to be thrown around spooky DMs about ghosts. Come on. No, it should be Three Wise Men. We're in Three Wise Men season now. We're in. We're in Santa. We're in Festive. We're in Grinch. We're in Elf. There's more to do. There's more to play with.

[C]

Is there room for humor and sort of mucking about in DMS in dating? Or is that finish?

[A]

Not with me, Joe.

[C]

No. Do we just get on with it?

[A]

We just get. We just get on with it. We're in our 40s now. Just get on with us.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where are we going? What are we doing?

[B]

I would be. If I had to start online dating again, the desperation leaking from my pores would be unbearable. Are we getting married or is this a first date or am I buying a dress?

[A]

I'd love to see your profile. It'd be the beep beep of all beeps. It'd just be one log be. Yeah.

[B]

He'S planning some beats bear today. There's some bear beeps coming up.

[A]

There's always bear, folks. Bear shoots are pretty sexy.

[B]

If you think I'm going skiing and not doing a beep beep back bear.

[A]

You're going to be those, you know, those girls with a random Instagram post. You're like Christmas Eve. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. It's just Vogue. Naked on the slopes with the can of bear by Vogue. In one hand language behind my bag. In the end.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

Happy Christmas, girlies.

[B]

Happy Christmas, girlies and boys. Oh, I thought you were saying goodbye. No.

[A]

Oh, sorry. I meant that's what you've been saying on the slopes. Okay. I respect our listeners too much to call them girlies. Happy Christmas, women and gays.

[B]

Women, gays. And the odd straight.

[A]

Oh, sorry. And the straights. And to the one straight man called Frank. He's been following us from the start.

[C]

And today. And them as well.

[A]

Today. And them. And Frank. It's time to come out. Your family now, we all know.

[B]

And to the ghosts. Thank you as well for listening. We appreciate. This has been a global player original production.