MTGM EXTRA! "Eight pages."

Summary

My Therapist Ghosted Me – MTGM EXTRA! "Eight pages."
Episode Summary – March 4, 2026

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Main Theme / Purpose

In this bonus episode, hosts Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally, joined by producer Joe, serve up a loose, rapid-fire conversation filled with hilarious anecdotes, glimpses into their glam but relatable lives, and their trademark unfiltered advice. They swap stories about Soho House run-ins, discuss luxury hotel perks (and quirks), parenting adventures, and delve into a listener dilemma about receiving an "eight page" handwritten letter post-breakup. The episode pivots seamlessly between high-society insights and everyday woes, laced with their unique blend of affection and raucous honesty.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Soho House Encounters & Club Membership Woes

Timestamps: 00:26 – 07:36

• Joanne’s Star-Spotting Adventure: Joanne recalls a surreal experience at Soho House, London, where she unexpectedly runs into Joe.
  • “I saw the weirdest thing in the world happen to me this week… I’m still shook.” (Joanne, 00:32)
  • Hilarious guessing game about which celebrity Joanne saw, leading to banter about Barry Keoghan’s lips, and men’s grooming (allegedly).
• Soho House’s Elitism: Discussion about Soho House as a members’ club for "creatives", including Vogue’s initial rejection due to her boyfriend’s finance background.
  • “They don’t let any of the finance bros in, because they…” (Vogue, 04:08)
  • Anecdote about footballer Ronaldo allegedly being turned away from another "creatives only" club in Soho.
• Entry and Belonging:
  • Both hosts riff on imposter syndrome in exclusive circles (“It didn’t feel like I should have been in the line.” – Joanne, 05:41)
  • “You’re moving up, sugar puff!” (Vogue, 05:49)

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2. Hotel Hopping & ‘Secret’ Perks

Timestamps: 08:00 – 12:30

• Vogue’s Hotel Life: Vogue updates the gang on her current “hotelier” status, self-describing as a hotel connoisseur in Dublin’s Herbert Park Hotel, a rugby hotspot.
  • “I’m actually moving tomorrow because I’m trying to score a rugby fella.” (Vogue, 09:13)
  • “Best chicken salad to die for… I get five boiled eggs, eight minutes each.” (Vogue, 10:03)
  • She discusses the luxury of hotel service and maintaining her protein intake to stave off “muscle atrophy”.
    • “In my 40s now, I’m trying to avoid muscle atrophy.” (Vogue, 10:37)
• Joanne at The Savoy: Joanne shares her own posh moment at The Savoy in London and describes meeting an inspiring woman, Lisette, who lost a shoe on her travels but still braved the event with “hardcore” confidence.
  • “She strutted into the Savoy with one shoe and went around the event for like four hours…” (Joanne, 13:46)
  • Discussion about the price of rooms at The Savoy and hotel hierarchies (“entry-level” rooms costing up to £1,400 a night – Joe, 14:16)

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3. Parenting: Costumes, Book Day & Easter Bonnets

Timestamps: 15:16 – 17:40

• World Book Day Trauma: Joanne shares woes about her son Theodore’s terrifying "Huggy Woogie" costume and the pressures of school “Book Day”.
  • “He can’t go to school with that outfit, you’re gonna find terrifying the junior infants.” (Joanne, 15:54)
  • Nostalgic nod to the sitcom "Motherland" and the growing stress of book-themed school events.
• Parenting Pressure Points: They agree the Easter Bonnet Parade is even more stressful due to the public scrutiny from parents.

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4. AirPod Disasters & Listener Stories

Timestamps: 17:47 – 19:58

• Losing AirPods: Vogue and Joanne exchange horror stories about lost AirPods (including one lost in an airport toilet and another in a Rolls Royce).
  • Listener email: A woman finds her boyfriend’s missing AirPod in his “arse crack” after searching the house (“Lo and behold, his AirPod was in his arse crack.” – Listener via Vogue, 19:21)
  • “At least he found it. That’s very lucky.” (Joanne, 19:29)
  • Debate over the design flaw of “independent” AirPods and alternatives.

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5. The “Eight Pages” Letter – Advice Segment

Timestamps: 20:08 – 24:29

• Listener’s Dilemma: The hosts address a listener’s story about receiving an unexpected, 8-page handwritten letter from a man she dated briefly who was “too full on”.
  • “A month or so later I get a handwritten letter from him, eight pages long and he’s talking about how he hopes it brings me some comfort.” (Vogue, quoting listener, 20:40)
• Analysis & Reactions:
  • Vogue wants to know all the details: “What was in the letter? Was he trying to get her back?” (21:24)
  • Joanne suspects the letter was the man’s attempt to spin the breakup as his decision: “In his own mind, he’d created a story where he was the one doing the dumping.” (Joanne, 21:40)
  • Caution about the blurry line between “romantic” and “weird”, referencing literary characters like Kathy and Heathcliff of "Wuthering Heights".
    • “There’s always a thin…line between impressive romance and weird.” (Vogue, 23:18)
  • Joanne recalls her own cute but less obsessive gesture: an ex-boyfriend bringing her a jar of orange Smarties.
  • Memorable Quote: “I don’t remember your name, but I remember the Smarties.” (Joanne, 23:09)
• Call for Audience Participation:
  • “Moving forward, I wouldn’t mind a little more detail…If you feel it’s too much, contact me directly in my DMs.” (Vogue, 21:58)
  • Joke about setting up a P.O. Box for listeners’ “mad” letters. (“Well, I can’t ask for people to send me letters and not have somewhere to send them to.” – Vogue, 24:38)

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6. Irish Celebrity Shout-Outs & Final Notes

Timestamps: 24:43 – 26:58

• Kevin McGarren at the IFTAs: Joanne lauds comedian Kevin McGarren’s musical performance at the Irish Film and Television Awards (“IFTAs”) for hilariously “outing” Steve Coogan as pretending to be Irish.
  • “He is one of the funniest people I know…McGarren is hilarious.” (Vogue, 25:43)
• Callbacks & Inside Jokes:
  • Reference to previous work on 'Republic of Telly' where Vogue was hired and then fired, and ongoing banter about getting/not getting jobs.
  • "Like and subscribe" and encouragement to watch content on YouTube.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I saw the weirdest thing in the world happen to me this week… I’m still shook.” (Joanne, 00:32)
• “They don’t let any of the finance bros in, because they…” (Vogue, 04:08)
• “I’m trying to score a rugby fella.” (Vogue, 09:13)
• “I don’t remember your name, but I remember the Smarties.” (Joanne, 23:09)
• “There is that line where…there’s a very discreet line between fun, enjoyable, attractive romance and weird.” (Vogue, 23:18)
• “At least he found it. That’s very lucky.” (Joanne, 19:29)
• “Well, I can’t ask for people to send me letters and not have somewhere to send them to.” (Vogue, 24:38)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:26 – 07:36: Soho House stories, membership, celebrity gossip
• 08:00 – 12:30: Hotel hopping, posh perks, breakfast habits
• 13:21 – 15:05: The Savoy, “Lisette with one shoe” anecdote
• 15:16 – 17:40: Parenting, Book Day & Easter Bonnet
• 17:47 – 19:58: AirPod misadventures, listener story
• 20:08 – 24:29: Listener’s “eight pages” letter, advice
• 24:43 – end: Kevin McGarren at the IFTAs, final jokes

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Overall Tone & Vibe

The episode’s tone is fast, irreverent, and packed with spontaneous tangents—true to the duo’s chemistry and devoted fandom. Listeners get both relatable confessions and a taste of celebrity chaos, with the loving mischief and “100% honesty” for which Joanne and Vogue are known. While there’s solid advice, the advice itself is less the point than the riotous journey there.

Transcript

[Joe]

This is a global player original podcast.

[Joanne]

Hello, and welcome to the bonus episode, which is quite chaotic and feels more like a main.

[Vogue]

There was no solid thoughts there. The main.

[Joanne]

We do.

[Vogue]

We do kind of force ourselves to have a solid thought about something culturally, topically interesting.

[Joanne]

This was Lucy Goosey.

[Vogue]

What's going on?

[Joanne]

Oh, my God. I saw the weirdest. The weirdest thing in the world happened to me this week.

[Vogue]

Jesus.

[Joanne]

I like. I'm still shook it from it. So I'm sitting in Soho House.

[Vogue]

Okay.

[Joanne]

Having a meeting. And who walks by me?

[Vogue]

Can I guess. Can I get Cliff Richard?

[Joanne]

No, you'll never guess. It's totally outrageous. You never guess it.

[Vogue]

Vogue. Less of that, please. Okay, if that's the attitude. We speak to each other positively.

[Joanne]

Please.

[Joe]

Positive language only.

[Joanne]

Yeah.

[Vogue]

Sonia Sullivan.

[Joanne]

This is a really fun game. Okay, you've only got three more guesses because we have to do an actual pod.

[Vogue]

Man or woman?

[Joanne]

Man.

[Vogue]

Killian Murphy?

[Joanne]

No.

[Vogue]

Barry Cogan.

[Joanne]

No. Did you see Barry Keoghan? He had his lips done.

[Vogue]

I think there is natural lips. I think they're not.

[Joe]

Should we chuck an allegedly on there? Sorry, Barry.

[Joanne]

And allegedly. No, because it's been. And then I saw there was a whole thing and it said Channing Tatum and everything. All the men are getting their lips done moisturizing. Okay, go on now. One more guess.

[Vogue]

Jamaraquai.

[Joanne]

I'd always like you to be with him. I just don't know what's your type? I'm like, one minute. We are quite.

[Vogue]

Has he rebranded as jk?

[Joe]

Well, that was the name of the band. Jamiro Kwai. Is the band jk.

[Vogue]

Oh, sorry. Come here and just remind me. I want to come. I want to come back to the fact that. Is it true Kanye is doing the bar exams to piss off Kim? We'll answer that later on in the podcast.

[Joanne]

Joe will figure it out.

[Vogue]

Yeah, I think he's about to. I think he's trying to do the bar. He's like, I'm going to do. I'm going to finish what she started.

[Joanne]

Oh, my God. That is like ep. That's. That is literally like something I would do.

[Vogue]

Yes. Sorry. Okay. Voke. Who was it?

[Joanne]

Joe Attiwell. I couldn't believe my eyes. A Joe in the wild. I was like, oh, my God.

[Joe]

Meetings.

[Vogue]

The call was coming from inside the house. I had no idea. Joe, do you mind me asking how the. Did you get a membership for so.

[Joanne]

Well, he was taken out for a look.

[Joe]

For anyone who's not a media, Soho House is a members club. It's for media. People don't have a membership there.

[Joanne]

I was meeting TV people. Yeah.

[Vogue]

I joke, you know, I'm teasing you. I think you belong there more than me and V combined.

[Joanne]

Joe. Joe doesn't belong there and neither do we. I hate to tell you. I. I just. Listen, it's really hard to get a membership, so when you get one, you kind of don't want to let it go. And I haven't been like this. That was my second time there. That's. I used it twice in a whole year. But I'm like, what if I let it go away?

[Joe]

Sausages. You see, she was just sat in

[Joanne]

the sausages I was meeting think. But I knew them, so I was like, I it. I'll have sausages. I know her, Sarah. I've known her for ages. So I was like, s. But they were very judgmental of the sausages. They're like, you got a side of sausages? I was like, yes, I did, yes. Okay.

[Vogue]

Do you want it?

[Joanne]

Always.

[Vogue]

It's always a weird side of you. Oh, sorry. Just on the Soho House of it all. And it is a kind of a members members club. Lovely.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Joanne]

Well, no, this is my first time there. That was a nice one, John. You'd like that one.

[Vogue]

Which one?

[Joanne]

180 the strand. They had a gym.

[Vogue]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joanne]

But the.

[Vogue]

I. It's for creatives. I say in a Verticom. It's like TV because I remember.

[Joanne]

Yeah, but a club.

[Vogue]

Well, I. When I first moved to the uk, when I first moved to London, obviously I wanted in. I wanted in and I was interviewed and turned down. Yeah. What they actually brought me in for, like to meet me face to face. And then the application was just never accepted. Now it has been since because then they opened extra houses and I think then they were like, we're. If it's a numbers game. But I was seeing this guy who was in finance and he was asking, could I get him in? And I was like, how? I couldn't. I can't get you in anywhere. But I didn't realize they don't let any. Any of the finance bros in because they're. But it's the same as, you know, Oshino runs the Daventer pub in Soho. The Irish. The Irish publisher.

[Joanne]

He.

[Vogue]

So he is a back room for inverted commas. Creatives as well. And apparently some big footballer tried to get it. Now, this is the story. Whether this is true or not, I don't know. I. I think that I heard like, Ronaldo tried to go into the back of the Devonshire. No. She was like, no, creatives only. It was just me and some love playing a fiddle down the back. That's the story. Now, whether it's true or not, I don't know.

[Joanne]

Do you know what the BAFTAs. Right there is in the line that I was in, where Leonardo DiCaprio touched me and we fell in love and got married. That line isn't for everybody. So, like, I was standing in that line with Spenny and some people got turned away that I would have recognized, but they got turned away and. But me and Spenny were in the line and I was like, please, can we get out of the line? And he was like, no, we're in the line. I was like, yeah, but I just feel like I shouldn't be in the mat.

[Vogue]

Like, who.

[Joanne]

What if someone comes and pulls out by the ear?

[Vogue]

Like, that is so mean. If someone's in the line, just let them do whatever they need to. Let them take the photo.

[Joanne]

They didn't pull us out of the line. Okay. I'm just. I'm just putting that out there in case. The Daily Mail said that we got pulled out of line. We probably. Listen, it didn't feel like I should have been in the line.

[Vogue]

You're moving up, sugar puff. You are moving up. You are on the move. So Joe strolled around. Source. Hang on there.

[Joanne]

It was a busy day in Soho House. Coffee off you, Joe.

[Vogue]

I would have been like, joe, while you're there.

[Joanne]

I asked him for a side of sausages. More sausages. Okay. I bumped into another person there.

[Joe]

Embarrassingly, the person that you're going to say is someone that. Actually, the meeting I was at, I should have invited that person to that meeting, and I didn't. And then I saw him.

[Vogue]

Is this.

[Joanne]

Yeah.

[Vogue]

Is this POD Chatter? Is this just an internal communications chat for us?

[Joanne]

It was just such an. It was so unusual. I was just sitting there enjoying sauce.

[Vogue]

Okay.

[Joanne]

Five.

[Vogue]

Okay. Man or woman?

[Joanne]

Man.

[Vogue]

Would they be known to our listeners?

[Joe]

The name?

[Joanne]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Vogue]

Is it your husband?

[Joanne]

No.

[Vogue]

Is it Otto?

[Joanne]

No.

[Joe]

Yeah. He was just there.

[Vogue]

I'd say they've offered him a membership already. They've probably given him.

[Joanne]

He's got the under 27s. That's why we only go on Sunday. So that then. Auto pays a tough price.

[Vogue]

I need some. I need a bit of guidance. I don't know.

[Joanne]

You know this person very well.

[Vogue]

I don't know if I don't want to clog up the whole bonus of me Gassing. Because I'm not going. Rick.

[Joanne]

It was Rick, Joanne's agent walked by me. I was. And I didn't even. I literally. Because I was sitting there on my throne looking at him, and I was

[Vogue]

like, was he there with his Kevin Bridges?

[Joe]

But the reason it was embarrassing is because I was having a meeting with Rick, your agent's other client, Joel Dommet. And I should have invited Rick to that meeting, but I didn't because I just thought Rick couldn't be asked.

[Joanne]

And Joanne, I felt bad because then we don't take Joe for lunch. And they were taking Joe for lunch. And 180 the stride. We only ever dangle sushi Samba in front of him. And it never happens.

[Vogue]

Joe doesn't eat Vogue. He's a robot. You just charge him.

[Joanne]

Indeed. You don't come around to Joanne's house that night. We had a party.

[Vogue]

We charge him in the evening. And sometimes we overcharge him. That's why his hair sticks up.

[Joanne]

Oh, God. I just. I just thought it was very serendipitous.

[Vogue]

Have you signed with off the Curb? Is that what you're telling me?

[Joanne]

I am now. I would. Okay, everyone, I'm playing. I'm starting in Vicar street because this. I'm putting on my new comedy show. I will see you there. I met a woman this week and

[Vogue]

I. I can't guess. I'm. I'm. I'm.

[Joanne]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no,

[Vogue]

Lorraine. I don't.

[Joanne]

So, Joanne, I was in a very

[Vogue]

fancy br of options. I don't know.

[Joanne]

Claire Danes came to my head for some reason there. I'm like, why Claire Danes?

[Vogue]

She's exceptional. Go on.

[Joanne]

She is. So you are a fan. You're. You are. I would call you a hotelier at this point. And I was in a very fun. What hotel are you in now? I know you're not.

[Vogue]

I'm a sommelier. Hotelier. I would say, at this stage.

[Joanne]

Where are we today? We are.

[Vogue]

You know what I thought? Do you know what I mean? Do you know where I am? Folk. And I've never stayed here before, but I've. I've. I've re. I've. I've frequented the bar. I'm in the Herbert.

[Joanne]

Oh, fancy pants.

[Vogue]

I'm in the Herbert Park Hotel. Now, Joe, you won't know this on account of being an Angloid, but the Herbert Park Hotel, it's a real rugby hotel. And I'm actually moving tomorrow because I'm going back into town trying to score a rugby fella.

[Joanne]

What?

[Vogue]

So I Heard on the grapevine that the Irish rugby team are arriving tomorrow.

[Joanne]

Shut up. Yeah, let me get that number. I think it's number 14 you want to look out for. I think.

[Vogue]

Well, I mean, I still think I'm. I still think Brian o' Drisco's on the team. I need to kind of update myself. He's. He's a geriatric rugby player now. I think he's just sitting in a wheelchair on the sidelines. But the. Is this a real rug? It's a allegedly whatever joke.

[Joanne]

But this, we're geriatrics too.

[Vogue]

This is a real rugby hotel. And yeah, like I say, five stars. I. I love a hotel. Best chicken. Chicken salad to die for.

[Joanne]

How's the breakfast?

[Vogue]

Huge glasses of white wine. So I've been getting breakfast to the room and I've been getting five boiled eggs. Eight minutes each.

[Joanne]

Eight minutes.

[Vogue]

Five. I eat three in the morning and then I put two in the fridge.

[Joanne]

Oh, no.

[Vogue]

And I keep the salt from the tray.

[Joanne]

That's it. Yeah.

[Vogue]

Oh, my God, I'm a freak.

[Joanne]

They would have on but they'd have unreal sauces in there. I bet you the breakfast is amazing menu.

[Vogue]

Every morning your man arrives up on with the tray and he. And he unveils my eggs like a. Like a.

[Joanne]

Like a royal dinner.

[Vogue]

Yeah, A clash. He unclashes my eggs and I look at him and I know. Because I know, I know. He's like, what? And I said, I. It's. It's. It's protein. I'm in my 40s now. I'm trying to avoid muscle atrophy. And then he's like, thank you so much. Yeah, I've had. I've had a ball and the staff have been. When I say, I'm like, have I done what I don't know what I've done to deserve this treatment, but I am one. I was like, I think they're going to be going to give me a royal show. Those cross armed.

[Joe]

Royal.

[Vogue]

What are they called? No, no.

[Joanne]

Did they curtsy you?

[Vogue]

I'm Kate Middleton. I just had some work done. No, they, they. What's that like the art. What am I trying to say?

[Joe]

Is it a piece of furniture?

[Vogue]

No. Where the kids.

[Joanne]

Like our sailor went to CCC to see one of them.

[Vogue]

Stop. Both of you. Enough chiming in.

[Joanne]

The guessing part.

[Vogue]

Everybody game that where you cross your hands and then people sit the. The kings. King's lift.

[Joanne]

Oh, King's chair.

[Vogue]

King's chair.

[Joanne]

Yeah. Jesus. Like.

[Vogue]

Sorry.

[Joanne]

That's the worst description.

[Vogue]

Sorry. I know, I'm sorry. Edit that down, Joe.

[Joanne]

Anyway, do not edit a second of that. I'm sick. I listen back to the part and I'm like, God, she got a nice editing there. Yeah.

[Vogue]

Pat came in and met me for lunch in the lobby. It's been lovely. I was like, welcome to my home. Yeah.

[Joanne]

Maybe when I go back to Ireland, I'll let the kids go back to. How. Then I'll just go into the Herbert.

[Vogue]

Telling you. I'm telling you. I. I think in an alternative universe, I was a hotelier.

[Joanne]

You do love. You love a hotel. I. Well, I was going to tell you this, right? I was in. I was in the Savoy yesterday. That's when you just feel like. You feel like on a shoe.

[Vogue]

Ten grand a night, I heard. That's what I heard.

[Joanne]

Is it?

[Vogue]

I don't know.

[Joanne]

I was only there first. I was there for a speaking event for this, a company called Must have Ideas. But do they have it? Girl, it is pretty. Or do you have. I know. No, she. She had. She has this. She's really young and she's built this company and basically like, like, like. I was like, please tell me you're 70. And you just look. You just look really good. Because she said she. So. Yeah, really. But anyway, I met a woman there, right? And because I was doing some pictures of people after, I. She kind of hobbled over and I was looking at her. Her name was Lizette. I actually got her name because it was such an. So she hobbled over and she goes, I'm really sorry. I only have one shoe. I lost it at the train station.

[Vogue]

And I was like, sounds like a bit of me. Sounds like a bit of me. Sounds like a bit of me.

[Joanne]

She had come from Kent or something on a train, lost it at Kent Station. Her train was delayed, so she didn't have time to go. It fell in between the tracks and the train. So she didn't have time to go and buy a new pair of shoes before the. And so she strutted into the Savoy hardcore with one shoe and went around at the event for like four hours, just with one heel on. It was amazing.

[Vogue]

That's when you know you've made it. When you can walk into the Savoy and the butlers and all are like, welcome, Lady Lisette. And they're not going, who's this scumbag shoe on it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's when you know when you can.

[Joanne]

When you can.

[Vogue]

When you can underdress in a super posh place and they leave you alone. That's why you've made it.

[Joanne]

Did you google how much a room is there now? I want to know.

[Joe]

You can get an entry level room in the beginning of June for 1400 pound for the night.

[Joanne]

Jesus Christ. For one night?

[Joe]

Just the night?

[Vogue]

Yeah.

[Joanne]

Entry level.

[Joe]

I mean, that's not their language. Sorry, that's. That's not what they're calling it. They have a word for it, but the cheapest you can. Oh, hang on, I've got something for a grand. Lovely superior queen room. Breakfast included. 1031 pounds, please.

[Vogue]

It's probably like inferior cupboard room. Yeah.

[Joanne]

Broom closet. There will be mops by your head. Fine.

[Vogue]

We will come in.

[Joanne]

Okay.

[Vogue]

And hang other people's jackets.

[Joanne]

Your coverage.

[Vogue]

And then take them out as the night progresses. And you will have to hand us the tickets as we go.

[Joanne]

I'll take it.

[Vogue]

I'll take it.

[Joanne]

Oh, my goodness. Just. I have to.

[Vogue]

Oh, God. What is he dressed as? What is he. Is he a smurf? What is. Hey, John.

[Joanne]

He's hoagie woogie from YouTube.

[Vogue]

Sorry. Of course, of course. That was my next guest.

[Joe]

Oh, my Christ.

[Joanne]

Oh, my God. Who are you?

[Vogue]

You're scaring your Auntie Joanne. Sorry. That mask is absolutely terrifying for. If the. If this makes it to the podcast, I want the listeners to know there's a film called. There's a horror film called Smile. Do you know this film?

[Joanne]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Vogue]

Theodore looks like your man. He looks like a character from Smile.

[Joanne]

I'll tell you what happened. So, Theodore, World Book Day is coming up. So I was like. I was. I know I was going to be really good and make costumes, but I'm already making the. The Easter Bonnets. And I thought, I can't do both. So Theodore was like, I want Huggy Woogie. And this costume arrived and I was like, Theodore, you can't. You can't go into school with that outfit. Like you're gonna find terrifying the junior infants. And he was like. He started crying and stuff. And then I had to buy the outfit anyway and then buy a different one that he can change into.

[Joe]

Horrific.

[Vogue]

It is one of the motherland. My favorite show in the world. The show that I auditioned for and didn't get.

[Joanne]

Did you?

[Vogue]

Yeah.

[Joanne]

Stop it.

[Vogue]

I don't. I got. I auditioned for those things. I don't get anything.

[Joanne]

Oh, my God. You should definitely. I would have loved like, you should have done that.

[Vogue]

I'm like, yeah, I tried. You should have taken that job. But it was a very small. It was like Mother three at the gate. I think I'd won line or something, but obviously I didn't get it. But there. What the episode where the main mom that I never remember any other names, she turns up and she's realized it's book day and she takes off her own top and puts it on her and sends the kid in the stripy top and says she's like, where's Wally? And stuff. I just. I hear a lot about book day and how much stress it brings parents.

[Joanne]

I mean, that's just. Oh yeah, but you don't want to be. I. I personally find the Easter bonnet more stressful because you kind of can't. People will see your work because the parents come and watch the parade. So it's like you can chuck them into school in any old outfit. Not huggy wuggy because it's too funny, but like people will see and judge your bonnets. And I feel very stressed about that.

[Vogue]

I actually can't get up. That was like. I was triggered. That was like he was dressed up as ish. Do you remember the clown?

[Joanne]

I have to go into school with the costume to. To show his teacher to prove to him that he's not allowed wear it on book day. I got him a ninja as well. Cuz I'm like, just be the ninja. You can't be that.

[Vogue]

Do you remember it?

[Joanne]

We all float down here. Stop. So remember?

[Vogue]

And he's trying to drag all of

[Joanne]

them at the same time.

[Vogue]

So basically I was momentarily separated from my AirPods during the weekend and found them again, blah, blah, blah. And as you know, I pair. I. I kind of run through AirPods a lot and I lose AirPods a lot. Now, in fairness, in my defense, some of them are like petrol station AirPods. Do you know what I mean? They're the bane of my life. And I do think it's a con. I think that. Why are they living independently of each other? They should be attached in some way, but the problem is with the string AirPods, you can't really train with them because. Anyway, whatever. Look, I need to. I need a huge pair of overhead ones. Like I'm going gun pigeon shooting.

[Joanne]

The ones you're currently wearing. Yeah, yeah.

[Vogue]

Or clay pigeon shootings. You know those.

[Joanne]

Like ducks.

[Vogue]

You know that. Shooting ducks. Not that I would shoot a dog. Anyway, I was banging on the inside, of course, on Instagram, losing AirPods, blah, blah, blah. Woman messaged me. She's like, my boyfriend lost one of his AirPods. We tracked it on Find my phone and they were definitely in the house. After an hour of pulling the place apart, I got the idea for him to put on a podcast and the AirPod he had in a separate room and walk around to see if we could hear sound from the missing room. I think she means pod missing pot. We could hear it in every room we were in and I realized that it was louder when I stood next to him. I moved my ear around his body like a sniffer dog and it was coming from the hip area. However, his pajama bottoms had no pockets. I turned him around and pulled down his bottoms. Lo and behold, his air pond was in his arse crack. Turns out he'd fallen asleep in bed listening to Dulce, the tones of Alistair Campbell and Rory Stewart and water fallen out in bed and then he'd lay on it and then put on his pajama bottoms when he got up to make coffee. As a point of clarification, he has disinfected said AirPod and stopped listening to political podcasts in bed.

[Joanne]

At least he found it. That's very lucky.

[Vogue]

Remember I dropped one down an airport or an airplane toilet? I still track it every now and again. It's in Heathrow.

[Joanne]

Do you remember that time? Do you remember that time I lost one in the. In the. In the Rolls Royce that I cringely got down to glass, Remember? And I never got a pack.

[Vogue]

No.

[Joanne]

Yeah, just the one gone. And then I actually found this other set. I'm. I'm not as bad as you are. I'd like to win today. But I have two of the same one like so I have two rights and I thought I'd found the other one. I was like, ah, just melt us.

[Vogue]

Melt it back the other way.

[Joanne]

I should just go back and say sorry. Actually these came like this and I was wondering, could you?

[Vogue]

Yeah.

[Joanne]

Girls just heard the bonus and heard the letter about the men handwriting letters. This has happened to me recently. Okay, show off. I had no idea this was a thing.

[Vogue]

This could be a solicitor's letter. We don't know what it is. It could be a. It could be something really dark.

[Joanne]

Yeah, A six weeks dalliance, romance, situationship, whatever you want to call it. The guy was lovely, but too full on. So I called it a draw. All the best and all that. I will say he was a lovely man and I wished I was more into him. That's nearly the worst, isn't it?

[Vogue]

Yeah, I know.

[Joanne]

A month or so later I get a handwritten letter from him, eight pages long and he's talking about how he Hopes it brings me some comfort.

[Vogue]

Okay, question mark.

[Joanne]

I'm fine. Question mark. It was the strangest thing. It was stamped, so I knew it wasn't hand delivered. Thank goodness. Gutted now I didn't think to smell it to see if his aftershave was on it. I'm all for writing letters that I don't send to people. Get it off my chest. Feel better than destroy it. Usually never actually send it. I'd probably be sectioned if some of those made it to the outside world. Anyway, all the letter did was to convince me that I did the right thing. And a bit like Juan, whilst nothing bad actually happened with this fella, I did feel like the champ for a change. Love the pod. Keep doing what you're doing. Hold on.

[Vogue]

Like girls. Listen, as we love the emails, but they're coming a little light these days on details. What was in the letter? What was in. What did he say in the eight pages? Was he trying to get her back? Was he kind of confirming he didn't?

[Joanne]

I think he was trying to make her feel. Yeah, I think he was trying to make her feel better about the breakup. As if he had initiated the breakup, but actually she was like, oh, it's just the thing. But in his own mind, he's created fair play to him. He'd created a story where, like, he was the one doing the dumping.

[Vogue]

Yes, he rewrote history, but I just. I just. Just moving forward, I wouldn't mind a little more detail on things or if you don't feel it's. If you feel it's too much information, the podcast, feel free to contact me directly in my DMs. I. I would like a little more information there. Eight pages. I mean, come on. That's a lot like.

[Joanne]

I kind of really want to read the letter. Do you still have it?

[Vogue]

8Pages is a lot of handwritten messaging. I would like to know what was in it. Follow up, Joe, email her back.

[Joanne]

The most romantic thing anyone ever did for me was this guy that I was sleeping with in. No, I don't want to say it in case my mom hears.

[Vogue]

I think your mom knows you've ridden people.

[Joe]

She doesn't podcast none of this.

[Joanne]

Three children. Anyway, this guy that I was hanging out with.

[Vogue]

Spending time with.

[Joanne]

Yes, spending time with. Getting to know I didn't fancy him anymore. I don't know if I ever fancied him. Anyway, he called to my dorm and he. I had told him once that I loved orange Smarties. Remember this? This is before they came in their Own packet, I would like to say. So he dropped around this huge jar of orange Smarties for me.

[Vogue]

That's really sweet.

[Joanne]

Yeah, I know I didn't get back on, but I did eat the Smarties and I. And I wrote about in my book and now I'm saying it here, so I appreciate that, man. I don't remember your name, but I remember the Smarties.

[Vogue]

There's always a. There's always a thin. There's. I think there's a very discreet line between fun, enjoyable, impressive, romance, attractive romance and

[Joanne]

weird. Yeah, yeah.

[Vogue]

You know, there is that line. There is that line where. And it's very. It's very Kathy Heathcliff vibes where I. Obviously, I'm still thinking about that film on the regular.

[Joanne]

I have to go and see it. Don't tell. I'm gonna. I might go. I might go alone. Would you.

[Vogue]

Everyone dies.

[Joanne]

Do they? I can't remember the book.

[Vogue]

No one remembers the book. These hardcore English lit people being so snobby about each other's been like 35 versions of, like, people remaking and recreating Wuthering Heights. Do you know, like, people need to calm the down. Anyway, what I'm saying is there's a thin line between fun romance that's hot and makes you feel attractive and. And then crossing that line between. I feel uncomfortable now, but like I say, I'm here for the handwritten letters, but I would like to know what was in it. Yeah. And, oh, also, I might set up a P.O. box.

[Joanne]

Joanne, you just never know what's going to come out, ever. Where did you get that idea? Where did that come from?

[Vogue]

Well, I can't ask for people to send me letters and not have somewhere to send them to.

[Joanne]

One thing I want to say. You know your pal, Kevin McGar?

[Vogue]

Yes.

[Joanne]

Did you see he did this song. Joe, you'd love it. He did this song at the IFTAs and.

[Vogue]

Very funny.

[Joanne]

He was hosting the Iftas, which is a huge ceremony in Irish for actors. It's like our. It's like our BAFTAs.

[Vogue]

Irish Film. Irish Film TV Awards.

[Joanne]

Yeah, it's. It's a. It's a. We should go like. Well, we didn't get.

[Vogue]

We weren't invited. This is like going. You should take. You should have taken that job in Motherland. We should go to the IFTAs. No, no, I didn't get the audition. We weren't invited.

[Joanne]

But anyway, he did this song. I. It won't really work if I play it. Go look at his Kevin Mc. And he did this whole song about all the Irish actors and Steve Kugan sitting there and he's like. He talks about Steve Kugan pretending he's from Mayo and it's just, it's. I have to say, hats off to him. I thought that that was absolutely brilliant.

[Vogue]

He is one of the funniest people I know. We did Republic Italy together years ago

[Joanne]

and oh yeah, when you got the job over me, I got the job

[Vogue]

and I got the jump and I got the job that I was then fired from 17 minutes later. But no, McGarren is hilarious. In fairness to him, he is. He's absolutely. I must watch that. Actually, I saw the clip floating around. I must give it the time.

[Joanne]

I must post it myself because I love it so much.

[Vogue]

Shares, support.

[Joanne]

I will share and support. Like and subscribe, you know, yourself.

[Vogue]

That's it for the bonus. Please like and subscribe if you haven't. Cuz it does make a real difference to listeners, doesn't it Joe?

[Joe]

Oh yeah. Go and watch on YouTube as well.

[Joanne]

Oh, and the YouTube. The YouTube.

[Vogue]

Oh and also I'm on tour and Vogue's vlogging, so check all that out as well.

[Joe]

This has been a global player original production.