MTGM EXTRA! "Give them their reality back..."

Summary

Podcast Summary: "My Therapist Ghosted Me" - Episode: MTGM EXTRA! "Give them their reality back..."

Release Date: May 21, 2025
Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
Description: In this extra episode of "My Therapist Ghosted Me," Vogue and Joanne delve into personal anecdotes, offer unfiltered advice, and engage in their trademark humorous banter. From navigating personal health challenges to addressing serious relationship issues, the duo provides listeners with a blend of heartfelt discussion and comedic relief.

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1. Opening Remarks and Personal Health Struggles

The episode kicks off with Joanne McNally candidly sharing her recent health challenges. She explains her reliance on an inhaler, emphasizing the impact it has had on her daily life.

• Joanne McNally [00:43]: "I'm not asthmatic, but I have to say, when I do use the inhaler, I make sure people are around. I'm not just using that in private."

Vogue Williams humorously remarks on Joanne's use of the inhaler, adding levity to the conversation.

• Vogue Williams [00:59]: "You're like a Victorian child, sick with the consumption."

2. Disabled Parking Etiquette

The conversation shifts to the topic of disabled parking spaces. Both hosts discuss the importance of adhering to parking regulations and share personal anecdotes related to parking etiquette.

• Joanne McNally [02:09]: "No, I never do. I'm too much of a rule follower. I don't park in the parent bay."

Vogue reflects on her family's involvement with disabled parking, highlighting the sensitivity required when using designated spots.

• Vogue Williams [02:26]: "I still use it to this day. Folk."

3. Navigating Social Media: Twitter vs. Instagram

Joanne and Vogue delve into the pitfalls of social media, particularly focusing on the challenges of maintaining humor and intent online. They compare their experiences on Twitter and Instagram, noting the differences in audience reception and personal satisfaction.

• Vogue Williams [03:41]: "It's too mean on there. It's too mean."

• Joanne McNally [04:06]: "Drunk Joanne on Twitter doesn't work. Drunk Joanne on Instagram works very well. It's like Chef's Kiss."

4. Listener's Public Service Announcement: Addressing Cheating in Relationships

A heartfelt segment features a listener's email addressing the sensitive issue of infidelity. Joanne passionately advocates for honesty when confronting cheating partners, emphasizing the emotional turmoil and the importance of revealing the truth to those affected.

• Listener Email [11:21]: "Please girls out there, especially if you have proof. Tell the poor person they are being cheated on. Give them a chance of getting away."

The hosts discuss the complexities of such situations, balancing empathy with the potential repercussions of intervening in others' relationships.

• Vogue Williams [12:50]: "I like, I like the line where she says give people their reality back. I think that's a powerful lesson."

• Joanne McNally [14:04]: "I think that if someone's in an open relationship, they're open about being in an open relationship."

5. Humorous Banter: Tongue Curling and Cave Drawings

Injecting their signature humor, Joanne and Vogue engage in a playful debate about the ability to curl tongues and ancient cave drawings depicting zoophilia. Their lighthearted exchange showcases their chemistry and ability to find humor in unexpected topics.

• Vogue Williams [20:43]: "Or else you are malformed."

• Joanne McNally [22:12]: "Olden day. Animals just go, oh, God. Grim."

6. Pet Adoption Stories and Advocacy

The hosts share personal stories and advocate for pet adoption, highlighting the emotional challenges faced by animals whose owners can no longer care for them. Joanne promotes a specific dog in need, encouraging listeners to consider adoption as a compassionate choice.

• Joanne McNally [24:37]: "I found a dog for you on. I've been sending it to everyone and no one will take her. She's a dash hound. She's up for grabs."

7. Book Release and Legal Anecdotes

Concluding the episode, Joanne announces the release of her book "Big Mouth," while Vogue humorously comments on the legal ramifications of candid memoirs. Their banter underscores the fearless and unapologetic nature of their discussions.

• Joanne McNally [26:01]: "My book is out. Big Mouth is out tomorrow."

• Vogue Williams [26:05]: "She's a author."

Closing Thoughts

Throughout the episode, Vogue and Joanne seamlessly blend serious discussions with comedic interludes, providing listeners with both valuable insights and entertainment. Their honest and relatable conversations exemplify the essence of "My Therapist Ghosted Me," offering a therapeutic space filled with laughter and genuine advice.

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Notable Quotes:

• Joanne McNally [09:09]: "Text fighting is completely stupid and for total losers."

• Vogue Williams [16:15]: "He didn't change the sheets because they were disgusting. I didn't even think of that."

• Joanne McNally [17:00]: "Please girls out there, especially if you have proof. Tell the poor person they are being cheated on."

• Vogue Williams [22:49]: "If I had to put one in my bio, I'd go, zoophilia."

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Key Takeaways:

• Honesty in Relationships: The importance of transparency, especially concerning infidelity, and the emotional benefits of confronting harsh truths.

• Social Media Savvy: Understanding the differences between platforms and the challenges of maintaining genuine communication online.

• Empathy and Advocacy: Promoting kindness and support, whether it's adhering to parking rules or advocating for animal adoption.

• Balancing Humor and Seriousness: Utilizing humor as a coping mechanism while addressing serious personal and societal issues.

Connect with the Hosts:

• Email: [e-mail]
• Website: mytherapistghostedme.com
• Merchandise and Live Shows: Available on the podcast's official website.

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Privacy and Advertising:

For more information, please review Global's Privacy Policy. For advertising opportunities, contact [e-mail].

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This episode of "My Therapist Ghosted Me" offers a raw and unfiltered glimpse into the lives of Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally, blending personal struggles with comedic relief to create a relatable and engaging listening experience.

Transcript

[Joanne McNally]

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello. Oh, no, we've crashed, by the way.

[Vogue Williams]

Sorry, before we start, can I please, can I please plug my European tour and my Ireland and UK tour? I've dates. I've dates.

[Joanne McNally]

No, I said, I said no.

[Vogue Williams]

Born Berlin. I'm a second. I'm a second Amsterdam. Vogue. You're Vogue.

[Joanne McNally]

Stop.

[Vogue Williams]

Stop it.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, I'm sick. I'm sick.

[Joe]

I've had to go on breathing.

[Joanne McNally]

I've, I, I, I'm on an inhaler. I'm very unwell. I know I'm very Darth Vader, but yeah, the noise.

[Vogue Williams]

I thought I'd left the windows open. It's like.

[Joanne McNally]

Hold on, I actually have to turn you down. I'm sorry. Well, I'll sit back from the mic. I'll sit back.

[Vogue Williams]

You're like, you're like a Victorian child, sick with the consumption.

[Joanne McNally]

It, honestly, it's really bad. At the wedding, I couldn't, on the Saturday, I couldn't open my. And look at the size of my mouth. Obviously I could still fit food inside of it, but I actually could only half open it cuz all my sinuses and all my top jaw and stuff were just, I was in bits.

[Vogue Williams]

Your top jaw? What was, what was going on with the bottom jaw?

[Joanne McNally]

The bottom jaw was just, I could get that down to let the food in, you know.

[Vogue Williams]

Wow. Let the trap door open. Oh, yeah, for the treats. God, you sound. Now you sound awful. I'll be honest. Yeah, sorry.

[Joanne McNally]

Very much.

[Vogue Williams]

So. What does the inhaler do? What does the. Are you like, Are you, is that like. Is this kind of. Are you asthmatic now? Is what I'm asking.

[Joanne McNally]

I'm not asthmatic, but I have to say, when I do use the inhaler, I make sure people are around. I'm not just using that in private. Yeah, yeah. I want people to know how unwell I am and how I'm really getting through this alone and not really complaining very much. So thanks for asking. I might actually get it for video Joe, if you wouldn't mind waiting.

[Joe]

Oh, yeah, yeah, we'll get a little clip of that, mate.

[Vogue Williams]

I can see you parking the SUV in the disabled spots and all. Making a big deal with the inhaler.

[Joanne McNally]

I do that anyway.

[Vogue Williams]

Hello. Looking for your, Looking for your parking premise. You're like pumping the inhaler in. You're like, I'm clearly not. Well.

[Joe]

Before anybody signs in some angry messages, she does not park.

[Joanne McNally]

No, I never do. I'm too much of a rule follower. I don't and I get annoyed with people when I see them parking in the parent bay when they don't have a child with them because I don't even do it when I don't have a kid with me. I don't park in the parent bay.

[Vogue Williams]

Parent bay. Now, I mean, if I see you and apparently you're dead, very much depends on my mood. If there's no one around, I'm going to. I, I, look, I don't drive either, so I'm not a threat to the parking spots. I've. The license never came back my way. But I remember my dad, before he passed away was in a wheelchair, so we had like a permit and everything. So we were very much involved in the disabled parking community. And my mother, if she saw anyone rocking around one of those spots with no, without the paper she was, but she was up rattling on the window, taking down. Yeah, yeah, she was all over.

[Joanne McNally]

How many, for how many years after his death were you using the parking pass?

[Vogue Williams]

I still use it to this day. Folk.

[Joanne McNally]

My dad, my dad also had one. I thought he's left me that in the wheel. Thank you, dad. Thank you, father. We're joking again. We don't park a disabled base.

[Joe]

Just fun jokes.

[Vogue Williams]

Fun jokes. Is it fun?

[Joe]

Oh, let's move on.

[Vogue Williams]

Not all disabilities are visible. I remember I did a tweet about back when I used to kind of tweet, which I've given up on now because it's literally just not worth it.

[Joanne McNally]

It's too mean on there. I gotta stay away. It's too mean.

[Vogue Williams]

It's also like you can't really take the piss on there. Instagram, you're only really in the feed of people who choose to have you in their feed. Twitter, you're, you're everywhere kind of really, you can kind of spread quite quickly. And I've, I've had a couple of run ins on Twitter and I'm just like, just not worth the hassle.

[Joanne McNally]

Drunk Joanne on Twitter doesn't work. Drunk Joanne on Instagram works very well. It's like Chef's Kiss.

[Vogue Williams]

That's, that's more workable. I would say there's less fallout from that. But yeah, a couple, couple of glasses of wine and when I used to hit the Twitter there was. Yeah, well we won't, we had some rehash issues from the past. Wasn't the smoothest of evenings. There was a couple of, couple of big run ins on there.

[Joanne McNally]

Real big. Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Do you remember that? Yeah, yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

Do you know what though? It was like because, because you get to a point of taking shifts that you get to the point you're like, you, you just. It just flips then and you're like, oh, no, I'm not taking this anymore. And you're actually dead. Right.

[Vogue Williams]

I snap. But I don't. I actually don't anymore. But I used to snap if someone was really going in on me because I get defensive and like vogue as, you know, I don't like confrontation, but if I feel like there's an injustice happening, I used to weigh in. I no longer weigh in. I'm like, I'm like, what did I say? I'm. What's your man's name? The guy I love, Keanu Reeves. Namaste.

[Joanne McNally]

You wish you were like, Keanu Reeves. Get lost. He's one of those. He's really different.

[Vogue Williams]

Well, I mean, his philosophy is like, if you think it's red and it's blue, think it's red. I'm not getting involved. That's my new philosophy. But sorry, I'm dragging this story out terribly. Oh, yeah, I was in Dublin Airport and we were all queuing for the security. Everyone's got liquids, you know, sandwiches, alcohol. We're all, we're all the problem.

[Joanne McNally]

And they do change the rules a lot. You just never really know what's gonna be on the day, you know, you just gotta keep asking. Cause sometimes it's liquid, sometimes it's not liquids.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, it's a very stressful environment. It's a very stressful environment and they're screaming at you. Dublin Airport's actually, I think grand in that regard. They're. They're kind of calm. But in the American airports, you're like, dude, I like, I don't have a hand. It's a laptop. Chill, you know, just very stressful.

[Joanne McNally]

They hold all the cards, though. Dublin Airport are very kind, very nice moves very quickly. I've been in a situation though. Remember that time in the airport in London? I won't say which one. And I was literally just like, oh my God. Like how it escalated. It was really a bizarre. But you can't do anything because they know you can miss your flight anyway.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, continue it can. They can be a bit. I'm not gonna say. Well, I did, I just.

[Joe]

You did, didn't you?

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, they can, they can. I've seen some very strange, very aggressive interactions with people who. Yeah, but you match. Can you imagine how annoying it must be for airport security to all day, for whatever their nine hour shift, whatever their working day is to Be like, are you taking the piss? We haven't had liquids in our bags. How long? 20 years. No, I'm.

[Joanne McNally]

Boy, we had them back. They came back in the bag. And I agree. I have seen altercations at the airport where I'm just like, stop, like. And some people are just being so mean. It's like, I know everyone has bad days, but I just feel like a little bit of calm. Be a bit more Dublin Airport, I.

[Vogue Williams]

Would say their head is wrecked. I'm in Dublin Airport. We're all queuing. We've all made heinous mistakes with our hand luggage full of liquids and hand grenades, whatever. Right? There's a woman is wheeled up past us through, okay, so she's just wheeled through. She's got one of those airport drivers, you know, the people who bring in people with the. Who need additional assistance, and she's wheeled straight through. And she gave me a look. And I, in the moment, thought the look kind of went ha, ha. And I thought it was kind of funny. I was like, you know, the way your brain would be killing time in your head. And I was like, I'm pretty sure I saw her walking around in departures. Anyway, she goes through, and I'm sitting on the plane.

[Joe]

Oh, dear.

[Vogue Williams]

And it starts getting a bit of, you know. Anyway, this woman dm's me almost immediately, and she's like, joanne, I would appreciate if you took that down. My mother. Blah, blah, blah. Not all disabilities are visible. You don't know what's wrong with. Anyway, it was taken kind of badly. It wasn't taken badly. It was taken at face value rather than satirically, you know what I mean? So I said, you know, it's not worth it. I just. I just. I just. So I just took it down and I. Since there was a couple of things like that, I was like, oh, Twitter's too fucking. I stopped tweeting. I was like, it's not really the place for comedy. I don't think not. Certainly not the stuff that I'm trying to work out in my head. I'd be like, throwing up a premise. And I'm like, is there anything in that, actually Twitter, you kind of need to put up honed, crafted shit.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Premises are for the clubs in private, you know what I mean? So I don't really tweet. And the security gates thing was an exact example of that.

[Joanne McNally]

So didn't go down the trees. Well, what I would say is it's kind of like when you're arguing with somebody via text message. And it just blows up into this absolute World War iii. And it's only because texting. Because where. As if you picked up the phone and just said, hey, this is what I mean by this. It'll be totally fine. It's. Anything written down can be like. It can be taken any way anyone wants it to. It could be taken completely out of context and read a different way in a different kind of tone.

[Vogue Williams]

Also, the text fighting, you've too much time to think. You've too much time to really, like, lean into how hurt you are. And. And you were talking to them, you'd be like, oh, look, it's gone. Forget about it. But when you're accepting explaining your hurt, you know, you can get a bit carried away.

[Joanne McNally]

Text fighting is completely stupid and for total losers. And I absolutely love doing it and never will I ever learn my lesson and just ring someone. I will always test fight first.

[Vogue Williams]

There's a lot. There's a. As I say, too much time for reflection on the text fighting. I think, you know, this is how.

[Joanne McNally]

You made me feel, because, yeah, it reverts back to my childhood, actually, when I was 3 years old and you brought up those feelings.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, it's too much. You're better off just ringing and getting it out in the. Getting it out in the open.

[Joanne McNally]

Wouldn't you love. If you take. Do you know the advice that you know in your head? And you're like, that. Do you want. That's great advice. That's fantastic advice. I'm not gonna take it on board, but it's fantastic advice, and if I'd only take it on board, it probably would be great for my life going forward, but I refuse to. I was doing a research. I'm doing a TV show tomorrow for my book, and they're like, so you, Joan, you like to give advice on the bonus episode. Who would be better at giving advice? I was like, me, obviously. Then I was like. But obviously neither of us. Neither of us. I'm the best of a bad bunch.

[Vogue Williams]

It depends on the outcome you're looking for. You know what I mean?

[Joanne McNally]

I'm the best of a bad bunch.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm just sitting here, my finger over a up button 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If it's not my life, I'm happy to do it for someone else.

[Joanne McNally]

Okay. Hi. Joanne Bogan. Joe, Love the pod. I have a psa. What does that mean? Sorry, I don't know.

[Joe]

Public service announcement.

[Joanne McNally]

Okay.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh.

[Joanne McNally]

Oh. Very. Wow. Wow. Okay. Donald Trump.

[Joe]

Let's hope not.

[Joanne McNally]

He's always mailing us in on stupid idiot.

[Vogue Williams]

Not Trump again. Jesus. He never takes the advice.

[Joanne McNally]

Every time the topic of cheating comes up on a podcast, I find myself shouting at my phone. So I just had to reach out. I get why, but everyone always says not to tell the person that they are being cheated on. I really do get the sentiment, but the very high chances are that the person knows something is up but they're being told they are mad and paranoid. I had twins and a four year old and when I found finally found proof of the cheating last year, I was absolutely crushed. But weirdly, I was also massively relieved. The reasoning is often that maybe the couple have an agreement, but that's so unlikely. And also if that's the case, then no harm done. Please girls out there, especially if you have proof. Tell the poor person they are being cheated on. Give them a chance of getting away. It's likely they are already living in hell and have been gas lit to give them their reality back. We had three kids under five, a mortgage and a whole life together. It's too hard to walk away from that base on a hunch. So they need to be told the facts. I know you guys do comedy and this email isn't funny. Sobs But I'm usually hilarious, I promise. And since I found proof and have a valid reason to leave, I'm getting my spark back. Please spread the word. Telling is almost always the right call. Cheaters rely on people keeping quiet. It's seriously time to change that culture.

[Vogue Williams]

But I like, I like the line where she says give people their reality back. I think that's a powerful lesson. However, you also don't know like sometimes you're like am I gonna really get involved in someone else's drama? Like then what if they decide to stay with the person anyway? And then they're embarrassed because they know that you know. And I don't know. There's so many levels to it.

[Joanne McNally]

There's there, there is a lot of levels to it. But like for instance, like I, I would want to know. Like I have been with and in the past relationships, quite serious relationships and I was cheated on and no one told me but a lot of people I knew, knew and that really pissed me off when, when, when it was over. Broke up over different things but like just the, just the, like like the ridiculousness of it. And I felt really stupid then because it was like four people or something. Like not an insignificant number of people. And also they could be. You don't know what they're doing when they're sleeping with other people and then they're coming back and sleeping with you and it's just like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's dangerous for your health. It's embarrassing when someone doesn't tell you. And it actually, that really pissed me off because I found out so long after we broke up that I was like. And also this of, of like, oh, well, they might be in, in an open relationship.

[Vogue Williams]

That's a reality now. People are cranking things open. Wouldn't we.

[Joanne McNally]

For me now I just think that if someone's in an open relationship, they're open about being in an open relationship. They're not closed about being in an open relationship. You know, if they are. Do you know what I mean?

[Vogue Williams]

That's not necessary. I don't know if that's true. I know. Well, one couple. Well, I suppose I know. So I suppose I'm proving your point to be correct. But it's not in their bio. Some people, it's in their bio. They're, they're identify with the polyamory vibes.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

But some people are just kind of discreetly.

[Joanne McNally]

I think you know when someone's. Yeah, I think you know when someone's been a snake or not though. If someone's been snaky and cheating and like. But I also like. It just, it fascinates me because it's like what's the point? Is it just because you want to have your cake and eat it or like what is it?

[Vogue Williams]

Sexual, Sexual diversity. It's like sex, sex like you know yourself in long term relationships. Well, you're actually very blessed in your long term relationship.

[Joanne McNally]

I think that in one sense you're very correct. It would be good to give those people the power and a lot of them are being gaslit and that's the worst thing. I actually, I actually years ago though, when it happened to me, I didn't even, I didn't even know. I didn't even consider it. That was the worst part. I was like, you absolute.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah. That's why I always think if you have suspicions, the chances are you're correct. Because sometimes people are cheating and you're not even aware. But then there's also. We cannot ignore the level of delusion that goes on. And I speak for myself when I say I saw. I've been cheated on countless times, mostly by the same person. But when I had suspicions, I didn't want it to be true. So when he denied it, I wanted to believe him. But my gut Was like screaming. But I like, I remember coming home from Edinburgh once I was away for the fringe and like I've probably told this story before. I was living with them at the time and like my son, all my stuff was in the wardrobe. Like he cleared away at all my side tables and everything. And there was a full blown hair in the bed. Like a long black hair. And that was not, it didn't belong to either of us. And I honestly, I did all this mental gymnastics because I just didn't want to believe it because I was mad about him and I was like, I just didn't want to be a crazy bastard. Couldn't even change his She's. No, he did, he did.

[Joanne McNally]

Cheating.

[Vogue Williams]

He didn't change the sheets because they were disgusting. I didn't even think of that.

[Joanne McNally]

You sicko. Sick.

[Vogue Williams]

So funny. You go for the hygiene aspect. Yeah, yeah. I'm like the cell crushing humiliation. You're like, didn't even think of that. I was probably napping in her body juices and didn't even think about it. I was just so, just did not, didn't did not want it to be true. So when he was like, he didn't even go, he didn't even go that hard. And I was like, it's not true.

[Joanne McNally]

And I was like, I know, but how would you. That's the thing. So sometimes I always feel like even with somebody, right, if they were to cheat and like they didn't tell their partner, but like it was so out of character or something for them and they'd never do it again. Like, is there a point in telling that person and hurting them when you know?

[Vogue Williams]

See, this is the thing. The, the, the dilemma rolls on. It's. I think it all has to be taken on a case by case basis. You also, if you're going to tell someone that their partner's cheating on them, you'd want to have some pretty hardcore receipts because yeah, I'd say a lot of the time the person's like, that's not true. Are they? Oh, they'll say it to their partner, their partner will deny. Then you look crazy and they'll kind of stick it on you and I don't know.

[Joanne McNally]

And also be you're putting yourself in the firing line as well. Like for instance, when I sleep with Kevin Costner, like I'm probably not going to tell Span about it. It just will hurt his feelings and it was an accident.

[Vogue Williams]

It was an accident.

[Joanne McNally]

It was an accident. Yes.

[Vogue Williams]

Just fell into Viagra.

[Joanne McNally]

Joanne dusted him and I Thought I'll have that dusted. Him, as in you through the dust.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

We're very sorry to hear that that happened to you because, I mean, that's a very difficult situation considering you've got three kids under five as well. What a RSYP is.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah.

[Joanne McNally]

Word in years. But it's, it's essential for this, for that man.

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, I mean, I, you know me now, I'm very cynical about the whole thing. I don't know why I was actually thinking about this last night. A couple of drinks last night and because I was working at the weekend, when I have a couple of drinks, sometimes I get a bit, you know, I'll take, I'll take pen to paper and have some thoughts. And I was like, what, journaling? I, I wouldn't use that term. But I guess technically, I just don't see the point in Journey, because I'm like, anything I write down, I'm like, why am I wasting time writing my own thoughts? I should be writing stuff for stand up or, you know, creative projects. But I did kind of go, joanne, you really need to get over this whole all men cheat thing because it's not true. And, like, the last guy didn't cheat on you at all. So, like, why are you so hung up about this? You need to really. It's time to move on. Then I downloaded Hinge and swiped a bit and then lost all faith in humanity again.

[Joanne McNally]

I do think, I do think that it's. I, I, I don't think go energy, so definitely don't.

[Vogue Williams]

They're not.

[Joanne McNally]

I don't know where I'm going with that.

[Vogue Williams]

I just have these very dramatic moments. Although I will say it's the ones you don't think and it's the ones you do think. So technically, that is everyone. I'm back. I've gone back around, I've circle back to my original.

[Joanne McNally]

All of them do it, for God's sake.

[Vogue Williams]

All of them are at it.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

Were you getting tagged in as many clips of the Eurovision presenters as I was?

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, look, watch, I can do it. A shamrock tongue, which is what we were being tagged in so Vogue, just.

[Vogue Williams]

For our listeners, because that's all we have. Just curled her tongue.

[Joanne McNally]

No, I did not curl my tongue. I made it into a shamrock.

[Vogue Williams]

You told me that was the same thing.

[Joanne McNally]

No, it's not.

[Vogue Williams]

The Eurovision was on at the weekend, the Gay Olympics, as they're called.

[Joanne McNally]

And.

[Vogue Williams]

There was, it was. The Swiss were hosting us and there was two presenters, two female presenters and they, I even I was Like I have to give it to them. It did look like it did resemble myself in Vogue.

[Joanne McNally]

It definitely did. It did.

[Vogue Williams]

It did. There was one of them where it was quite. She kind of looked like me and she kind of dressed. She wasn't. She was dressed like that kind of, you know, street lesbian style that I like to engage. But some people did say they were like spits of you. And they said the other one spits of oak. Except she has. The one on the telly. Had a fine rack on her, which is not something you display. But that was the only discrepancy in the whole thing. And they were quite like this.

[Joanne McNally]

Obviously no one's seen me in my padded bra that I had on over the weekend. So. Sorry.

[Vogue Williams]

And they could both curl their tongue now. I cannot curl my tongue and that is genetic. I am malformed.

[Joanne McNally]

It's not.

[Vogue Williams]

Or else you are malformed.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, I know, but you're taking away from what I'm actually doing. You're making it sound like nothing. I'm creating a shamrock with my tongue, which is an even talent. It's my. It's my party trick, I think.

[Vogue Williams]

That's all. When you can curl your tongue, that's the only shape it goes into. Because the two women on the Eurovision also had their tongue.

[Joanne McNally]

That's curling your tongue.

[Vogue Williams]

Oh, well, they did what you were doing.

[Joanne McNally]

Look at you.

[Vogue Williams]

I can't grow my tongue and I have no earlobes. I'm basically Neanderthal. I don't know what more evolved. I'm guessing you. I don't know. It's got, like. Is it more of. It's. Or maybe it's less evolved because you can still kind of lick out a lion. Whereas that's very much a throwback to Joe's gone. Is it cave like. What's the evolutionary function of you being able to curl your tongue? That's. I think that's what I'm trying to ask. Is it to lick out animals? Is it to dislodge berries in small. In small places?

[Joanne McNally]

I would say it's more about like a pomegranate fruit. You scumbag. You don't have to talk about licking out lions.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm just thinking back to cave times, which is. And they did do. There was a lot of bestiality back in the day. A lot of people who told you.

[Joanne McNally]

There was bestiality back in the day. Who told you that?

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, it's like. It's. It's all the cave drawings and stuff that they found sexual animals. There's a lot of bestiality going on. Yeah. People riding horses and all that. Animals.

[Joanne McNally]

Olden day. Animals just go, oh, God. Grim. This is taking a really. We were just trying to have a nice email.

[Vogue Williams]

I've spoken about this before. The first cave they ever found, there was a drawing above the cave. And it was either, Joe, you can fact check this for me, or a line going down. A woman, I can't remember.

[Joanne McNally]

Maybe the line was just eating the woman. As in eating her?

[Vogue Williams]

No, no. Zoophilia. It's much cuter name than bestiality, isn't it?

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah. I should have kept.

[Vogue Williams]

Like, if I had to identify as one, I would, I would, I would definitely. If I had to put one in my bio, I'd go, zoophilia. Would you vogue?

[Joanne McNally]

Oh, much more. What was that thing that you once said about a horse that like just turned into this massive big conversation that you had decided, would you rather kill a horse?

[Vogue Williams]

Yeah, like, if you're basically. If you're willing to eat the meat of an animal, do you not think that animal would rather get like ridden in the traditional Irish sense than eating. And it kind of threw it through a card amongst the pigeons, didn't it?

[Joe]

Yeah, but I don't know this many years later.

[Joanne McNally]

It is. It is.

[Vogue Williams]

I'll have to feed back. That's a little cliffhanger there.

[Joe]

Is there any chance it was a dream?

[Joanne McNally]

You can find us the cave drawing now, Joanna, if there's anything that we know you could do, you can deep dive and find us.

[Vogue Williams]

Cave woman goes down on lion. Look, I'll dig it out.

[Joanne McNally]

There's nothing I'd like to see more than that. That girl's Internet history. I'd love to see Jamal McNally's Internet history. I'll have to dig the late night ones.

[Vogue Williams]

It's not coming up. It's obviously not high on the search engine, but I'll dig it out because.

[Joanne McNally]

I will be after tonight.

[Vogue Williams]

I think it was her. I think it was the lying going down on her. I'm pretty sure that was the situation.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, well, we wait to judge breath.

[Vogue Williams]

Different times, you know. Different times.

[Joe]

Yeah, yeah.

[Vogue Williams]

You know, not for us now, but, you know, different times. They'd no Internet back then. They had a lot of time to kill. If we didn't have Netflix, we'd probably get licked out by lions. Also vogue in the evening, would we?

[Joanne McNally]

You know what? That's exactly what. Actually, that is exactly what I would be doing. How did you know? How did you know that I'd see.

[Vogue Williams]

Out in the common legs of kimbo Just waiting for some poor unfortunate animal to pop Winston with. All bear by, folks.

[Joanne McNally]

Well, everybody, thank you so much for listening to. I found a dog for you on. I've been sending it to everyone and no one will take her. She's a dash hound. She's up for grabs. Her own mysterious. Yeah, her owners, right, gave her up after six years because they were. They were working away from home too much. It's like, okay, give it to a friend or something. Don't. Just. Just put your dog in a shelter. When I send you her, I'll send you the link. She sounds amazing. She's gorgeous as well.

[Vogue Williams]

Grace Campbell opened one of my shows at the weekend and she had her little dog with her and I was eating chicken out of the packet, as is my right, you know, getting the protein because I'm 42 now. And I didn't notice, but the dog was like, just kind of staring up at me, drooling. And Grace, like, here, would he give her a bit of chicken? I was like, yeah, of course. Sorry. I didn't even notice. But Grace was saying she was in the hairdressers one time, there was a woman beside her eating a pack of chicken and the dog was doing the same thing. And Grace said to her, would you mind. Just give. Would you mind giving my dog a little bit of chicken? Anyone said no. Who would turn down giving a bit of chicken to a puppy? What monster?

[Joanne McNally]

Some people don't like dogs. They just don't.

[Vogue Williams]

She said no. She said imagined no and swiveled back towards the mirror. I mean, Jesus Christ, what kind of.

[Joanne McNally]

What kind of world are we living in? Shocking.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm a delivery here from Harper Collins and I think copy of big mates the 22nd.

[Joanne McNally]

My book is out. Big Mouth is out tomorrow.

[Vogue Williams]

She's a author.

[Joanne McNally]

She. She's turned off all her Google alerts.

[Vogue Williams]

She's officially an author now.

[Joanne McNally]

Yeah, look, look, she's going to be getting. She's going to be getting a few Legal letters now. You have to read it.

[Vogue Williams]

I'm always so surprised when I read people's memoirs and they. I see. I'm like, how did this pass Legal? They're literally naming and shaming people. It's crazy.

[Joanne McNally]

Just maybe don't read the chapter about you. Yeah, I said to Legal that you wouldn't mind.

[Vogue Williams]

It's the only chapter I'll read. I put my Google alerts on. Can't wait.

[Joanne McNally]

Everyone, thank you so much for listening. That was the bonus episode and we will see you for the main on Friday.