MTGM EXTRA! "He was a sea swimmer..."

Summary

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My Therapist Ghosted Me: MTGM EXTRA! “He was a sea swimmer…”

Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
Date: May 6, 2026
Episode Theme:
This special “Extra” episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me delivers the show’s trademark blend of hilarity, personal confessions, and zero-filtered banter as Vogue and Joanne navigate everything from the agony of being far from home to the peculiar sanctimony of “sea swimmer” culture. Expect advice, reminiscence, competitive style-planning, and discussions of hydration, tattoos, and social media cringe moments—all wrapped in a buddy-comedy dynamic.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

The Expat Struggle: Isolation Down Under

• Joanne shares the sense of disconnect from friends and family while in Australia, missing events and feeling out of sync due to the time difference.
  • “I’m missing out a lot over here because I’m down under…You do actually feel quite shut off down here.” (00:32, Joanne)
  • Vogue relates, emphasizing the difficulty of keeping up relationships from afar, and discussing the necessity of making new friends. (01:01–01:13)
  • “If you were to move there, you couldn’t just be like, I’ll just call my mates at home. Like, you have to make friends.” (01:09, Vogue)
• Both hosts joke that the standard for what counts as “news” falls dramatically when abroad:
  • “News to me is like, oh, I’m trying a new butcher this week.” (01:50, Joanne)

Lifestyle Updates & Family Dramas

• Pregnancy adjustments: Vogue discusses switching her routine due to pregnancy, now walking instead of running. (02:11–03:39)
• Style Award planning: Vogue laments her role as family stylist, hauling outfits for her sister Amber for the VIP Style Awards, resisting her mother’s sartorial contributions (“No offense, Sandra...it’s pashmina time.” – Joanne, 04:22)
• Amber’s cigarette requests: Amusing tales of buying smokes for her sister on flights, clarifying that she herself doesn’t smoke. (04:51–05:09)

Aviation Anecdotes & Family Legends

• Sandra’s (Vogue’s mum) legendary air hostess tales:
  • Joanne spins a wild story: “Sandra saved an entire plane with her pashmina…She landed the whole thing with the pashmina because it was about to fly into Brooklyn Bridge.” (05:34, Joanne)

Hydration Disasters

• Joanne’s health woes traced to dehydration: Post-tour recovery finds Joanne nearly fainting during a nail appointment until she's revived by water and Lindt balls at a Korean nail salon. (08:28–09:27)
  • “All it took was a Korean woman feeding me three lint balls and two bottles of water and I am rejuvenated.” (09:27, Joanne)
  • Vogue gently roasts Joanne’s hydration habits: “I rarely see you at a bottle of water…your liquids are used for dehydration.” (09:01, Vogue)
• The hosts debate the rise of “hydration culture” versus stories of epic dehydration—Joanne tells of a friend surviving a four-day festival on Coke and alcohol, ending up covered in scabs. (13:51–14:43)

Mocking Wellness/Biohacking Trends

• Vogue’s free ‘biohacking’ advice:
  • “Get enough sleep, drink enough water, get out and move enough. All those things are free and they’re the three top biohacking things that you can do.” (10:28, Vogue)
  • The duo mock elaborate wellness routines: “People…spin their water…700 vitamins…sit in front of a red light.” (10:48, Vogue)
• Both admit being tempted by dubious wellness gadgets like “vibration plates.”
  • “I almost fell for the vibration place. Oh, and not in a sexy way.” (00:05 & 11:04, Joanne)

Listener Email: The “Utter Bliss” Sea Swimmer

• Story of an ex who becomes a ‘sea swimmer’ and posts smug sunrise swimming content:
  • “He…pans across the sun coming up…flip[s] the camera to himself, bare chester, sea water dripping…say[ing], ‘utter bliss.’” (19:24, Vogue reading listener email)
• Joanne and Vogue riff on the “holier than thou” energy of such content:
  • “I don’t like people who think they invented the planet. I don’t like it. It doesn’t make me comfortable.” (20:05, Joanne)
• Extended tangent on the horrors of being wet (Joanne: “I like to be dry…I’ve never liked it. Even sexually.” [00:20 & 19:00]) and sea swimming’s current smug zeitgeist (“The smugglies. The smuggly swimmers.” [18:01, Joanne])
• Joanne reveals she has the word “Bliss” tattooed, unfazed by the cringe connotations:
  • “Unless Andrew Tate gets Bliss tattooed on his neck, I won’t be turned off.” (22:02, Joanne)

Social Media & Attention Cringe

• Embarrassing posts: Vogue recounts her sister’s heartfelt, if over-the-top, Facebook poem after their dad’s passing; both reflect on how grief and social media mix.
  • “If I can’t get a bit of attention now, when can I get it?” (21:54, Joanne)

Tattoo Threats & In-Jokes

• Tattoo escalation: The hosts joke about Joanne tattooing Vogue’s face and their producer Joe’s hair on her back, with assorted body art threats directed at Vogue’s children.
  • “Watch yourself. Or Gigi will have a live laugh love on her back by the time she’s 18.” (24:47, Joanne)
  • “Otto will come back with an Asian symbol on his back. Just watch yourself, folk.” (23:17, Joanne)

Upcoming Shows & Listener Departure

• Joanne lists upcoming tour cities: Canada, Las Vegas, Denver, San Francisco, Salt Lake City, Toronto, Vancouver. (11:43, 22:42)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “All it took was a Korean woman feeding me three lint balls and two bottles of water and I am rejuvenated.”
  — Joanne, on dramatically recovering from dehydration (09:27)
• “No offense, Sandra…it’s pashmina time.”
  — Joanne, mocking Vogue’s mum’s fashion sense (04:22)
• “Sandra saved an entire plane with her pashmina.”
  — Joanne, spinning family legend (05:34)
• “I like to be dry…I’ve never liked it. Even sexually.”
  — Joanne, matter-of-fact (19:00)
• “You should all be thankful that I haven’t taken up the seas with me because it would be endless.”
  — Vogue, about not joining the sea-swimmer trend (00:26 & 18:06)
• “Unless Andrew Tate gets Bliss tattooed on his neck, I won’t be turned off.”
  — Joanne, on her regret-free tattoo (22:02)
• “Watch yourself. Or Gigi will have a live laugh love on her back by the time she’s 18.”
  — Joanne, teasing Vogue about her children and tattoos (24:47)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:32 — Joanne discusses isolation and missing out while in Australia
• 01:13–01:50 — On the decline of meaningful “news” from home
• 02:11–03:39 — Vogue details pregnancy, quitting running, and family attitudes
• 04:22 — Style advice and pashmina banter, family comedy
• 05:34 — Sandra’s air hostess heroics with a “pashmina”
• 08:28–09:27 — Joanne’s dehydration meltdown at the nail salon
• 10:28 — Vogue’s “free biohacking” wisdom
• 11:04 — Both admit falling for questionable wellness gadgets
• 13:51–14:43 — Hydration horror stories from festivals
• 16:26–20:12 — Listener email: the self-important “sea swimmer”; running commentary
• 19:00 — Joanne confesses: Even sexually, “I like to be dry.”
• 22:02 — Joanne tackles tattoo regret (“Bliss” forever!)
• 23:17–24:55 — Hosts threaten mutual tattooing, joke about future family shenanigans

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Episode Vibe

Hilarious, heartfelt, and a tad chaotic, this episode is a showcase of the best friend energy and sharp-tongued honesty that makes My Therapist Ghosted Me addictive. From relatable expat woes to the cult of wellness, and a takedown of those “utter bliss” sea-swimmer types, Vogue and Joanne keep things sharp, personal, and always a bit mischievous.

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Transcript

[A]

This is a Global Player original podcast.

[B]

I'll be honest, I almost fell for the vibration place. Oh, and not in a sexy way.

[A]

I've fallen for it. I can't use it while pregnant. Yeah, but I'm getting it. What? I have never once said a bad word about it.

[B]

I'm just saying Vogue because you very

[A]

smartly have never asked me about it.

[B]

Watch yourself. I don't like being wet. I've never liked it. Even sexually. I'm not. I'm not that proud.

[A]

You should all be thankful that I'm not. I haven't taken up the seas with me because it would be end.

[B]

I don't like people who think they invented the planet. I don't like it. It doesn't make me comfortable. I don't like it. I'm missing out a lot over here because I'm down under. I'm missing birthdays, I'm missing. I'm. You do actually feel quite shut off down here.

[A]

I will say I found that hard being down there. Like, even when I was down there at Christmas time. Like, you're not on the same. No one wants to talk to you. No one's really available to talk to you.

[B]

No.

[A]

And when you're ready to talk, they're going off to work something. And it just. It doesn't. It's. I. That's why I. I, like, you really have to make friends down there. If you were to move there, you couldn't just be like, I'll just. I'll call my mates at home. Like, you have to make friends.

[B]

Like, I'd go to sleep texting one of the girls going, any news? And I'll wake up to her going, no. And that's like literally the contact. Because, like, unless you're gonna put a call in and then. And then, of course, I spiral. I'm like, oh, my God, everyone hates me, you know? So I. I don't think I could stay down here long term, to be honest.

[A]

There never is news, though. Did you ever find that you're like, somebody, oh, my God, tell me the news. And they're like, I don't have any. And then they're like, to you, and you're really disappointed. And then they're like, what's your news? And you're like, oh, well, I actually don't have any.

[B]

I think. I think the problem is if you get precious about the quality of news. Like, news to me is like, oh, I'm trying a new butcher this week. I don't care. It's. You're just trying to connect with your friends. Like it doesn't have to be. I did a parachute jump off the Eiffel Tower. It can be just something like just normal day today. Wow.

[A]

I've dropped down to one coffee a day. I. I've now switched out my Pepsi Max. Don't drink it anymore. Now I'm on the Fanta zero. Huge news.

[B]

Huge news. Cnn. I assume the Daily Mail is behind all these shifts.

[A]

Oh, they have been posted already. And also I have had to. I've reigned in the running. No more running for me. It's just fast walking. I can't do it. Anyone.

[B]

You can't run now anyway, cuz the babe will pop out.

[A]

Well, I was running. I was running up until last week. And then I was like, I knew it was going to come. The day was. The day was nigh and I went out for a little run walk today. And even ber she was like, what the is going on? He kept coming back being like, what's happening here?

[B]

Well, this is very Charlotte and Sex and the City coded. And as you know, that's how I live my life. Charlotte was very worried about her pregnancy, but I don't. Have you spoken about.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Have you spoken about the thing?

[A]

The pregnancy? Oh, the. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we can talk about this. Fine.

[B]

Okay, fine. I didn't know. I didn't know. I'm on another planet down here. I didn't know.

[A]

I thought you were gonna. I thought you were going to say the. Have you mentioned the pregnancy? And I was like, yeah, Joanna.

[B]

Well, no, no, no.

[C]

After denying that you keep forgetting about it and.

[B]

Oh God, no admitting. Joe, not denying. Admitting that I keep forgetting about it. But especially when you've had a. Any sort of miscarriage or anything like that, the next time you're pregnant, you're so super careful. And again, very Charlotte coated in Sexton City where she was afraid to run. And the doctor was like, no, no, you're fine. Like, keep running, keep doing what you're doing. But you've decided.

[A]

No. Well, I was running, but I was

[B]

like turning it to me.

[A]

I just. It feels too. It feels too heavy. It's not that I'm actually past this. I'm at a stage now where I kind of can relax a little bit into it, but I, I'm kind of like. I'm just, I'm doing all the weights and stuff. But like then he always. Even my mom's like, oh, oh, be careful. I'm like, mom, please don't, don't Be.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Me. Amber's trying to find a dress. She's going to the Style Awards. VIP Style Awards. My sister is up first, most stylish newcomer, and I hope. I hate when she goes to these things, because I spend my entire existence finding something for her to wear. And my mom has started sending me videos of some of her clothes. And she's like, this would look great. I'm like, no, Mom, I'm really sorry, but, like, no offense.

[B]

No, Amber's not wearing a pashmina to the VIP Style Awards. No offense, Sandra. Like, I. I keep a close eye on what you're doing, and I think you're very stylish, but, like, you're. You're. It's. It's. It's pashmina time. For Sandra, it's pashmina time.

[A]

She'd have her in a bloody hat. No, I've had to drag. Now my suitcase. I don't need a suitcase to go back to Dublin tomorrow. I don't need one because I'm only going back for the day, and I've already left an outfit. But I have a suitcase filled with stuff for Amber to try on at the Style Awards, and she's given eight.

[B]

I thought you're gonna say cigarettes. I thought you're on. I thought you're gonna say cigarettes.

[A]

Oh, the only reason I don't buy the cigarettes on the plane now forever is because she's like, well, you're pregnant. It might look bad. I'm like, oh, thanks. Every other time I have to buy them. I don't smoke. By the way, everyone, if you see me buying smokes on the aircraft, it's for Amber.

[B]

The aircraft. Oh, excuse me.

[A]

I fly.

[B]

You're on an aircraft? Are you on an aircraft? And I. I spoke to an ex cabin crew the other day, and we were chatting, like, obviously, because obviously, you know, I love a bit of aviation. Did you tell her about my mom crash investigation? I didn't actually vogue. I'm sorry. But I'm assuming she knows because she's a pod listener. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[A]

That's the first thing you say? My friend's mom was an air hostess.

[B]

That Sandra saved an entire plane with her pashmina. She landed the whole thing with the pashmina because it was about to fly into Brooklyn Bridge. I assume Sandra's telling that herself. Yeah, Sandra threw her pashmina out the front of the cockpit, and then it just, like, protected the helpline. But that's her story to tell. And I don't want to interfere in that.

[A]

The poshma's just brings me back to the scarf days when you used to have like 20 different scarves to choose from for your outfit. Which scarf goes with this outfit?

[B]

Yeah, it was very 20. It was very early. Early. It was early 90s coded where you'd be wearing scarves around your waist and all. Like, it was, it was, it was a wild time, Joe. It was a wild time. But anyway, this cabin crew academy there is certain like, Like, I suppose, restrictions on cabin crew. They're not allowed by all the duty free stuff. And I was like, why? And she was like, because we'. It. And then she was telling the story of some woman that she knew who was quite high up in some airline and like, quite high up as in like very high up. And was stealing left, right and center booze from the. Yeah, like the ch.

[A]

You know, the Ryanair.

[B]

The other Ryanair got around and they asked. There wasn't a pashmina left in the duty free sale. Someone's a little light fingered for the lace.

[A]

She just text me there and I swear I feel like she's bitching about it.

[B]

Oh, should I think I'm selling money for like the, like charities on the, on the airplanes.

[A]

Stop stealing that money. Well, what I will tell you is you're not allowed. Actually, you would. They check your. Yeah. Excuse me. You have a track record, that kind of thing.

[B]

Excuse me, it was. It was a choker box. I was nine. Okay. I think track record is a stretch.

[A]

It's a track record still. I never.

[B]

It was a disabled 10 at 12. I think. I think. I resent. I resent the accusation.

[A]

Well, what I'm saying to you is you're only allowed by 200 smokes. You're not allowed. Actually. If you get stung with any more than 200 smokes, they take them away from you. And Gina's so weird about it. Like, so Gina's like, spencer, you're buying me 200 folk. You're fine. So we're walking out with 600 smokes, all for Gina.

[B]

Would we, Would we. Would we tell people who Gina is or now that you're on your contacts, both.

[A]

Gina is my strong names and just

[B]

like hand grenades just throwing it. Thank you.

[A]

She comes. I feel like she just comes. She comes on all of our holidays together. And she's great crack, but she absolutely loves a smoke.

[B]

I have Ivania's.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I have just like literally 30 minutes ago finished my Australian and New Zealand tour.

[A]

Oh, stunning.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm happy about this.

[B]

Double. Two shows in the end, more absolute ball. Do you remember I was saying that I was very tired for one of the shows and I didn't think it was my best work, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, annihilate myself over it. Etc.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Went to get my nails done today and I was having another episode and I was like, oh, my God, I can't. I have to go home. Like, I can't. I'm gonna pass out. I'm gonna faint. And the nail tech was like, do you want some water? And I was like, yeah, that'd be lovely, actually. And then I realized I'm dehydrated. So she. Sorry. Two women doing the nails and she was feeding me water and chocolate lint balls for sugar. And then I was absolutely grand. And what I've realized is I was thirsty.

[A]

I think that you mistake. It's not much liquids for, for hydration. You can't. The liquids that you're ingesting are not generally used for hydration. They're used for dehydration. And yeah, I don't. I rarely see you at a bottle of water. Now, I will be honest, but that's no Shade, Spencer. No Shade drinks a bottle of water this size every day. Just a tiny. It's like 300 mils of water. That's all she drinks every day. That's it.

[B]

Do you know what, Vogue? I actually appreciate your diplomatic tone, but you're absolutely dead right. And I didn't realize I was like, I am dehydrated. That's why I'm finding this so hard. Like, I, I. That's why I feel like I'm ringing it in from a dignitas pod. I was like, I'm done and dusted. And all it took was a Korean woman feeding me three lint balls and two bottles of water and I am rejuvenated.

[A]

Jesus, that must have been a fancy nail place. Lint balls.

[B]

Do you know where she whipped them out? She was like, I think you need chocolate. She's like, I think you need chocolate.

[A]

Just low blood sugar.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Well, I'm going to choke in my little bit of. What's that called again? When people do, like, look after themselves.

[B]

Shade. Oh, sorry, what's.

[A]

No, what's the one? The really big one? No, not wellness. Too much wellness. The too much wellness sectioning.

[B]

Mental asylum.

[A]

Your man Brian. Too much biohacking.

[B]

Biohacking. Of course,

[A]

the video of the two of you being like, biohacking. Right. Free biohacking. I'm chucking it in here. Get enough sleep, drink enough water, get out and move enough. All those things are free and they're the three top biohacking things that you can do because no one's waking up to spin their water in the morning, as I've said before, but those are the things that are doable. People do that. They spin their water and then they get up, they take about 700 vitamins, and then they go and sit in front of a red light and do breathing exercises and mindfulness for hours.

[B]

I'll be honest, I almost fell for the vibration place.

[A]

Oh, I am. I. I fall while pregnant. Yeah, but I'm getting it.

[B]

What?

[A]

Well, I see Trini on her is non stop, and I'm like, it's obviously working.

[B]

What if I break the baby out?

[A]

I think the baby. Yeah, like, yeah, I think so. I don't think you would like it, but saying that, like, the baby comes everywhere at me. We're always. Well, we were jogging around, but we go hiking and stuff together. It's a very.

[B]

That's kind of cute. Yeah, that's kind of cute that it has, like, it's its own little. Like it's a little hobbyist all of its own.

[C]

Before we move on, it's worth saying that now that Joanne is hydrated, she will be on tour in Canada.

[B]

Yes, Joe, that is so sound of you to do that. Canada, Las Vegas, Denver, San Francisco, Salt Lake City, blah, blah, blah. And I will be hydrating.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What?

[A]

Do you remember how much that waiter in Canada hated us for? It was the strangest such. Do you remember. Outside and we were in this, like, sporty bar, but we were just getting something really quick to eat. I think I wanted chicken wings.

[B]

Oh, my God, Yes.

[A]

I'll never forget. He hated our guts. From the moment we walked in, he just thought, shit bags. And we. And then obviously being Irish, you're like, you're desperate for people to like you. Like, we're used to being liked. And so we're like, trying to make him like us. And, like, he just hated us.

[B]

I think we made the heinous mistake of saying, can we sit there instead of the seat that he wanted us to sit in? And then he was like, who are these two? And then that was the. And then that was the end of it. And then he basically just threw chicken wings at us. It was, it was. It was proper hostile.

[A]

It was wild. It was an empty restaurant as well. Then, like, I remember. I remember dying of thirst in there and he hadn't brought my Coke Zero and I was like, I'll just fade away and die. I'll wither. There's no. No way I'm asking him to get me that. Not a.

[D]

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[B]

The electrolytes. That's what we need. I will never again without six barrels of electrolytes in me. I had no idea that hydration or dehydration was affecting my performance. I'm mortified. I'm like a child who doesn't understand when it's hungry.

[A]

Now that you don't have the Baraka tube on stage, you forget about it and you're just like, I forget that I need to take the rehydration tablets. Do you know what happened to my friend? Well, my friend Ashley went to oxygen. Remember when oxygen was a music festival? She went to a music festival for four days and she drank absolutely nothing.

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

Nothing but alcohol and Coke. So when she would wake up, she was just drinking like cans of Coke because she was really hungover, trying to. To like, feel better. And she ends up getting. I'll never forget all these scabs all over her face because she was so dehydrated and she'd only just met her fella. She's now married to him and they have two kids. So it was fine. But like, she literally, she was like, I just drank no water for four days, but only survived. I think.

[B]

I think she's really unlucky in that regard because I think there is a kind of a kink or fetish around hydration at the moment where it's like there's people going around with like car sized water bottles who are like, pummeling their system with water. And actually, as we have discussed before, there was a girl in somewhere in the world that I saw on some platform who drank so much water she drained.

[A]

So, yeah, that sounds like the story of the girl who took an ecstasy pill and then drank so much water that she drank. And I don't know if that was true.

[B]

No, no, no. You told the story about the girl who took the weird pill and then

[A]

she Peeled herself like an orange. That was. Would you like an email, Joanne McNally?

[B]

Not really.

[A]

Oh, utter bliss. This sounds up here.

[B]

Anyway, she doesn't even listen to me. It's just pure example.

[A]

But I just. But I decided against it. Yeah, I shook my ears. Hi Vogue, Joanne and Joe. I have to preface this email with an apology to Joanne if I give her the ick every time she now looks down at her leg. But I couldn't not write in when I saw the sheer size of it and thought I'd she share my experience of the word bliss. Okay, trigger warning. Once heard, it can't be taken back and the ick may be palpable. Do you want to keep reading, John?

[B]

Well, you haven't given me another option of an email. That seems to be the only one that usually I'm offered one of two and this week this seems to be the only one on offer.

[A]

Can I be honest? Can I be honest? Joe obviously hasn't done his job properly because I would never come to you with one email. I wouldn't do that to you.

[C]

This one.

[A]

How dare you imply that I would.

[C]

This one felt quite important so I, I really bumped it.

[B]

Of course. Speak on folks.

[A]

Just chose for us. Okay, Speak on. I was going through a little rough patch with my now ex a few years ago, still friends. And I may have warned him in advance that I was going to do this. So high sp, if you're listening on a break during COVID he along with the rest of the Dublin population decided that he was now a sea swimmer not only. Oh God. I know, I know now I have

[B]

to say I see the fantasy.

[A]

I see see them in howth and I think to myself maybe one day. But my friend again, Ashley, Ashley with the no water. My friend Ashley was swimming in the sea. She thought she'd do see something and up popped a dead baby seal. And then she shits herself of seals. And then she was scared the mom seal was going to think that she had killed the baby seal, which she had not. And she was like she said she was nearly trying to get back to shore before the mom seal came along and got her.

[B]

I think Ashley is either cursed or on mushrooms and hallucinating massively. Who gets oral herpes from drinking cola like five friends.

[A]

They were not herpes.

[B]

That's what you said.

[C]

Probably need to say allegedly now in case Ashley sues us.

[A]

No, I did not say her.

[B]

I said scabs around your face. What do you think that that is? That's herpes.

[A]

Dry, dry. She doesn't she's leaving a cold. So where's that girl?

[C]

Something.

[A]

Okay, no. Okay, but the kind that video themselves diving in and posting to social media to present as a holier than thou

[B]

dry robe wearing the smoke swimmers. The smoke swimmers. The smugglies. The smuggly swimmers.

[A]

Yeah, you should all be thankful that I'm not. I haven't taken up the seas with me because it would be endless.

[B]

In a way, I'm kind of jealous, but I know that is because it is like. It's like ice bathers or people who, you know, get up in the morning. They're just very small, I think.

[A]

I think ice bathers. I. I told you I gave that up. I am a morning person though.

[B]

I've always wanted to be dry, even as a child. Vogue. When I was a baby or a young child, my mum would run the bath and then she would leave me in there to give me some sense of independence and assume that I would wet myself and wash myself and I would not. And I would sit there and I would take my hands and feet and wet them and then pat them across the carpet so it would look like I'd wetted myself or washed myself and I wouldn't. I've always wanted to be dry.

[A]

Oh, I quite enjoy it.

[B]

I don't like being wet. I've never liked it. Even sexually. I'm not. I'm not that pro. If I can fit in a dry rise, I will.

[A]

A dry riding kind of dryer.

[B]

The better dryer the better in my opinion. I've always been like that. I like to be dry.

[A]

Okay. You would think this image of a man going to the effort of balancing his iPhone at Vico baths between a mossy rock leftover cans and his Adidas sliders would be bad enough. But no. On this sunny morning, we're talking sunrise 6am after posting a video of himself diving in, he Q next insta story pans across the sun coming up over Cliney beach, only to then flip the camera to himself. Bare Chester, sea water dripping from his nose, hair still wet to look dead, pan into the camera and in his best eat, pray, love voice say, utter bliss.

[B]

No, no, not for me, not for me, not for me.

[A]

No.

[B]

I don't like people who think they invented the planet. I don't like it. It doesn't make me comfortable. I don't like it.

[A]

It's just. It's just the saying utter bliss. No, it's just that for me is I don't mind him swimming and having fun. That's Fine.

[B]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Is this woman trying to throw me under the same pashmina as this lad because he used the term bliss?

[A]

She's just saying that you're not going to like the tattoo anymore, Bliss, because this fella has ruined the word.

[B]

It's going to have to take a lot more than that to turn me off it because it is a full blown tattoo. So if I was, you know, if I was upset by that, I'd have it lasered off tomorrow. I'm going to have to power through with this one. Now.

[A]

The two words have never been able to come out of my mouth since without giving me a shiver up my spine and an inverted vagina. But here we are. It's been four years since the famous Insta post and thinking about it still sends. Do you remember anyone's. Do you remember any, like, social post from somebody that you're just like or yourself like? Do you remember any that you make you think back or you remember. Beep, beep. Mine is. Mine is went from Amber when my dad died, right? So she wrote on Facebook. She was obviously we were deranged for like a week because he died. So we just got pissed the whole time. So she wrote it, she wrote a poem and it was, today is today, tomorrow is tomorrow. But that would mildly mask my tears. Love you always. Dad and I and the likes went up and up and up until I saw it and I was like, amber, you loser. Deranged, shaming. Yeah.

[B]

Sometimes when a parent dies, you're like, if I can't get a bit of attention now, when can I get it? You know what I mean?

[A]

I'm sorry.

[B]

Guilty of that. Just a flag. Bliss is permanently tattooed on my leg. So unless Andrew Tate gets Bliss tattooed on his neck, I won't be turned off.

[A]

This.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

What's next? What's next?

[B]

Your face on my chest?

[A]

I'd love that. I really would, folks.

[B]

And. And Joe's hair on my back.

[A]

That will look right. You should put the tuft at the end of your back.

[B]

I thought so. I thought I might put your face on my back and then Joe's hair as your beard on my ass crack. How about that?

[A]

I think that actually sounds really attractive, isn't it? Yeah, I think it's good art.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's good if you're coming home. If you're coming home in May and June when you know that it's time to meet the boys in Battersea park or Coffam. Those tattoos are the Way to go forward.

[B]

Vogue. You need to watch yourself. Because the second one of your kids comes to me, and they will say they want a tattoo, and they will. You better. You better watch yourself. Or I will drag them down to tattoo Tony's in a snap.

[A]

They'll just always be going around your gaff. Think about it. And I'm like, why did I come

[B]

back with a Euphoria beast? Remember euphoria, Joe. Remember the heartbeat that Euphoria had? Otto will come back with an Asian symbol on his back. Just watch yourself, folk. Just watch yourself.

[A]

I'll find ways of getting you back, okay?

[B]

Just watch yourself. Chinese dragon on his chest. Just watch yourself.

[A]

I'll take it to the grave. You'll regret that. You will regret that.

[B]

Just watch yourself.

[A]

Do you want, like, be really careful? Las Vegas.

[B]

Salt Lake City. Jan versus San Francisco.

[C]

Vancouver.

[B]

Vancouver. Toronto.

[C]

Toronto.

[A]

Yeah. Goodbye for two weeks. We shall miss. We shall miss you, but we won't miss each other because we'll. Well, Joe, I'll probably see you. I'll bump into you. But, Joanna, we'll see you. No, I'll see you.

[B]

Oh, yeah, Fine, fine, fine. Yeah.

[A]

We'll miss the listeners as well, because we do like your stories. We enjoy them.

[B]

We like our job. That's the reality of us. Yeah. Thank God. Touch wood.

[A]

You know which one?

[C]

May the 22nd.

[A]

We're like brown Java's Auto Bliss.

[B]

Okay, that's enough of that now. It's on the leg. There's nothing I can do about it.

[C]

We won't speak of it again.

[B]

I don't. I. I don't need this shit.

[A]

I don't think she's slagging off your tattoo.

[B]

I'm saying Vogue. Honestly, once your kids hit 12, I'm gonna be a huge hit for them.

[A]

Hang on, hold on. What have I done wrong here? I sent you a nice message about your tattoo the other day. I have never once said a bad word about it.

[B]

I'm just saying.

[A]

Very smart. And you've never asked me.

[B]

Watch yourself. Watch yourself. Or Gigi will have a live laugh love on her back by the time she's 18.

[A]

Okay, I'm gonna. When I. When I go walking, Bertie. When I go walking version, I'm gonna get Let him in your garden every time. I'm gonna get him to treat that garden like. Like it's the only place to. Okay, great.

[B]

He's a king.

[A]

He's looking forward to it.

[B]

I'd rather that than your husband.

[A]

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