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Vogue Williams
This is a global player original podcast.
Joanna
Don't you dare try and throw me under the bus. As a. As a person of privilege. I have no front garden.
Vogue Williams
Okay, put it in the swimming pool then. Put it in the swimming pool. We've got to do something about the pigeons.
Joanna
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that would be you. Yeah. Just flagging that I have a sex life. Joanne, you clearly don't happy to answer any questions.
Vogue Williams
Hello? I can't. I just can't get used to having her back. I can't get used to it.
Joanna
Hello, I am. I'm still here. I'm. I'm now. I am dressed a little unusually today. Just. If anyone's actually watching this, Joe says I look like a Roman emperor.
Joe
Greek. Actually, I think it's more Greek.
Vogue Williams
Sorry. A Greek emperor would have on Dutch leopard print hat.
Joe
And I didn't. I didn't say him before. I said someone from the ancient Greek times. You've elevated yourself to empire.
Joanna
I didn't say.
Vogue Williams
I think she looks like a washer woman.
Joanna
I've elevated. What's a washer woman?
Vogue Williams
She does the washer like a washer woman from the olden days. You know those women who used to wear the rags in rivers and wash people's.
Joanna
Yes, an emperor.
Vogue Williams
Have you seen her?
Joanna
I love.
Joe
That wasn't my words. I didn't say that.
Joanna
I can't believe I just promoted myself to emperor. And yes, I'm a Roman emperor with the Bond Dutch hat. Because I have a time machine. Okay. I was just in Pompeii doing my bits and bobs and then I came back through my space.
Vogue Williams
Pompeii. Was it Pompei?
Joanna
I was trying to warn them about the impending explosion of Vesuvius. See, can I shift time? Remember the butterfly effects? The butterfly effect that they were like. I actually really like that film.
Joe
Great.
Vogue Williams
I just don't like. I don't like ash and culture. But I think that's for other reasons.
Joanna
Yeah, well, he wasn't very nice to Jamie Moore and we know that now, but he. The film Butterfly Effect was like how tiny. If you go back in time, every single thing you check, you think you. Things you think you would change and then it has this like massive knock on effect. I think he kind of unalived himself in the end, didn't he, Joe? Just to kind of.
Joe
Well, we don't spoil a film no matter how long ago it came out, you know, no spoiler.
Vogue Williams
No one's watching anything. No one's watching. And do you think anyone's typing in Ashton Kutcher to Netflix? I don't think so.
Joe
Go and watch it.
Joanna
Wonder how has a fairly decent career. Oh, no, sorry, he's not. He's been cancelled. Forgot about that.
Vogue Williams
It's not that he's been cancelled, he's just like. I don't agree with canceling people unless like they're really. He's just. He's not. He would. He's. He has questionable opinions on people that are grimo.
Joanna
I totally forgot about that. I forgot that him and his wife. His name escapes me right now.
Vogue Williams
Mis. Mis.
Joanna
Oh, they did it. They really.
Vogue Williams
They did a silly. A silly Billy thing. Do you know what I always remember about them as well? This is why you should be careful what you say about yourself in the press. I always remember that they say they don't wash and they don't. Yeah. And they don't wash their kids. And I'm just like. When I see them, no matter. Like they could be on a red carpet with suits on and I'm like smelly.
Joanna
Is there. Is there a bit of context for that? This now, is this. It sounds a kind of a clickbaity headline.
Vogue Williams
No. But if you would like to. Have you seen my headlines now? I'm not. My name's not Vogue Williams anymore. It's pregnant. Vogue Williams, of course.
Joanna
Well, you are pregnant. I mean, the facts track.
Vogue Williams
It's my only name.
Joanna
That's all you are, you're just once. Women are pregnant. It's really. It's all just about the pregnancy really, from other people's perspective.
Vogue Williams
Joanne, you don't remember. Everybody is forgetting I'm pregnant.
Joanna
This pregnancy is really dragging and I've
Vogue Williams
only shouldn't have told you in six
Joanna
weeks and I've only. I. And as you know, I do keep forgetting you're pregnant. So even for the short space of time I've known you're pregnant, it's still dragging. Do they. Do they stay in longer on the fourth round?
Vogue Williams
Can you imagine how it drags for me, right? I am sick every single day.
Joanna
Are you?
Vogue Williams
Yes. Every day. I have to take tablets non stop. So yeah, it's a bit of a drag. It's quite long.
Joanna
Yeah, it is really long. If I, if there's anything that could be done to speed it up. I mean you're a well connected woman.
Vogue Williams
Thank God I'm not a bloody elephant. They go on for ages. They're all. They're pregnant for a long time.
Joanna
Did you see your one who was crushed by an elephant? Two elephants started having a scrap and this poor woman, because the weight of them, they're absolutely ginormous. And this poor woman was crushed underneath her and she's got lover. She's, she's, she's. She died.
Vogue Williams
You obviously weren't listening in safari class when you went away. Elephants are like the most dangerous. Like stay elephants and one of those other ones, not wildebeests, buffalo. They will like if they have a smell you, they will literally go for you and they'll absolutely trample the shy city on purpose.
Joanna
That's a shame. I was planning to get an elephant for the new house.
Vogue Williams
I thought I drove by your new house and I got really excited
Joanna
when an elephant just drilled around the garden and clap them out. Got him on. I got him on Etsy.
Vogue Williams
Do you remember everyone had those cows? Do you remember all over Dublin there was those cows everywhere. Like painted loads.
Joanna
Oh yes.
Vogue Williams
If you want to have an elephant, just, you know what, you're not really very neighborly. I wouldn't say. I can't imagine you're, you're hanging out with all your neighbors. So I suggest to really make sure that doesn't happen, get a giant elephant for the front garden. They'll never talk.
Joanna
The front, the front garden.
Vogue Williams
Ah. They'll never talk to you again.
Joanna
There is no folk, there is no front garden. Don't you dare try and throw me under the bus. As a, as a person of privilege. I have no front garden.
Vogue Williams
Okay. Put it in the swimming pool then. Put it in the swimming pool.
Joe
Thank you.
Joanna
More like it.
Vogue Williams
We the private beach. Some fact checking here.
Joanna
There's no front garden. Okay.
Vogue Williams
I'm so on the steps on the way down to the private beach or the jetty. It would look lovely on the jetty.
Joanna
I am a regular person.
Vogue Williams
Okay. With the chopper pot. You know what we can tell from today you are a regular, regular person.
Joanna
I am. In my spare time. Am I an ancient Greek and Grecian emperor? Yes, I am. With great style.
Joe
Will you join your neighborhood WhatsApp group when you get the opportunity?
Joanna
I will. For this. Yeah. Because those things are chernobyl level toxic. I want in. I like. There's no. There's entire Reddit threads devoted to the lunacy of the what's. Of the neighborly WhatsApp groups. I mean, are you and yours folk?
Vogue Williams
No, but I have nice neighbors either side of me in.
Joanna
In which house?
Vogue Williams
In the rental house that I'm in. They're very nice. No, they are. They're really nice. They take in packages and like we take in their packages and I always think that that's a sign of a very nice neighbor because, like, it's a bit annoying.
Joanna
Paul McCaffrey used to have a great bit about. He still does have the best. I'm sure it hasn't been taken off him about taking cuz he work because he's a comedian. So he's home all the time and that a lot of the time the neighbors would get their stuff delivered and then they come in in the evening. He said it was like he was running a post office. He'd be taking their documents and all. Like, he'd be like scrolling down the wall to see the cold matches and everything. So funny. Live at the Apollo is so funny.
Vogue Williams
It's a very neighborly thing to do. So I like my neighbors here. My neighbors in Dublin are very nice. They said I could use their field and the kids could go into their field. So I thought, you know what? Very not. Thank you very much.
Joanna
Live well. I still. I can't get anything. If anything sits in the communal hallway for longer than seven minutes of mine, it is still stolen.
Vogue Williams
Stop.
Joanna
And I'm starting to think it's not. I think the. I think the call might be coming from inside the house, if you know what I mean.
Vogue Williams
I wouldn't, you know, I wouldn't be surprised if Spany had a bit of an incident.
Joanna
Did he?
Vogue Williams
With somebody? Yeah, two of our. We. We ordered Zap and Spenny was like, it's. Zap is like a grocery app. And we ordered Zap. And I was like spending for. I was. I was waiting to make eggs, basically. So I was waiting on my eggs and he's like, the eggs got delivered.
Joanna
As a woman in your 40s now, protein is a huge priority. I'm delighted to hear it's delicious.
Vogue Williams
I wanted eggs in a cup. That's what I wanted. And so he was like, they got delivered an hour ago. And I was like, well, they're not here. And he was like, they said they were delivered to this other place. And I was like, how weird. So he ordered them again. Again, they they went. And so Swenny ended up knocking on the door, and they were like, we're on a call. And he was like, why are you taking in my groceries? Like, you didn't order groceries. Stop taking my groceries.
Joanna
Well, it's. It's theft, really. I mean, it's not like you're not minding something like it's theft. Joe, have you. How's your postal system? How's your postal situation?
Joe
Oh, we've got nice neighbors. I belong to a WhatsApp group, but I have it archived and it catches me out every now and again because the neighbor will go, you come into the barbecue on Saturday. And I go, what barbecue on Saturday?
Joanna
And they go, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Joe
And then it's sort of awkward.
Joanna
Yes. Yeah. But I think, to be fair, Joe, in your defense, I would say most people have their neighborly WhatsApp group muted.
Vogue Williams
I fear if I joined one of them, I would turn into. I'd be the one that everybody'd be bitching about. We've got to do it. We've got to do something about the pigeons.
Joanna
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be you. Yeah, Just eat them.
Vogue Williams
Absolutely, yeah.
Joanna
The machine going in the communal garden, taking.
Vogue Williams
I was at our. I was at our new house today, and there's been progress. I actually commended the builders. I didn't want to go too far, cuz I don't want them getting ahead of themselves.
Joanna
But I said, something has happened.
Vogue Williams
I'm impressed here. Walls are down. The place is looking magnificent.
Joanna
Wow.
Vogue Williams
I had an interiors person over with me. It's all go on the Western Front, as my mother would say.
Joanna
Think that's a world. Is that World War II? No, it's. It's all quiet on the Western Front. Is that not what the saying is that not.
Vogue Williams
Sorry. This is Sandra Wilson's saying. It's all go on the Western Front.
Joanna
I'm pretty sure it was like that. Wasn't that something to do with World War II?
Joe
And all quiet on the Western Front is a novel, a German novel from 1928 about the First World War.
Joanna
There you go, Sandra. She hit the nail on the head there.
Vogue Williams
It's all going. Sandra's world on the Western Front.
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Joanna
Good woman. Sandra.
Vogue Williams
It's terrible. I ring Neil. I'll ring Neil sometimes. And I'm like, oh, what are you up to? And then I'm like, oh, it's Thursday. He's sitting, having a coffee in the shopping center while he waits for my mom. For the next three hours, I'm like, that's why he answered his phone so fast.
Joanna
It's a dream. Sorry. Like, it's. I, I. And I don't wish ill health on Sandra, but if she does go before nail, I'll swoop in.
Vogue Williams
Imagine you hurt my sick husband.
Joanna
And then I'll raise you.
Vogue Williams
You raise me right, I'll be dragged up by Sandra. He's right. By Joanne.
Joanna
I'll raise you properly. Vogue. Amber is the last cause. But you. I think there's still. I think I could. I think I could do good work there.
Vogue Williams
Yeah, Amber's definitely gone. So my favorite thing about Amber is when she likes to describe a night out. And you know what I'm like when people have had a night out. You. And I'm ringing around to see what time it ended.
Joanna
Yeah.
Vogue Williams
What went on?
Joanna
Yeah, there's a. I'm the same. I love to ring around really early in the morning while I'm out sprinting through the common Arian pits. Are you? Yeah, I was really late. Yeah.
Vogue Williams
It's mental health. Okay. No, I didn't think so. No. Well, that's what you guessing.
Joanna
Yeah.
Vogue Williams
Amber went to the Albert went to the VIP Style Awards, and she's like, home by two. And I'm like, oh, yeah, do you remember getting home at 2? Because I know who put you in a taxi.
Joanna
She's like, that's not true.
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Joanna
A friend of mine, they have. They're off the biz, as we'd say. They're on the dry. They're. And they're making great strides with it all, and I'm very, very proud of them. And I am kind of.
Joe
Yeah, well done, Vogue, actually.
Grainger Announcer
Well done.
Vogue Williams
Well, I appreciate it.
Joanna
Yeah. Wait till the people see the real you, Vogue. When the camera scans out, there's all these bongs and crack pipes on the shelves behind you. And I'm like, I told you it was all a farce.
Vogue Williams
I said to Amber, I was like, I can't help it. Like, I don't smoke. I'm not pregnant. I have the odd one when I'm Drinking. But I don't. Like, I'm not a smoker, but, like, the smell of smoke when I'm pregnant. I'm like, I'm just like, I, I, I. And I don't like the smell of smoke off people when I'm not pregnant. But this baby likes the smell of old dank smoke off people's clothes.
Joanna
Disgusting.
Vogue Williams
I know.
Joanna
Like, is that a craving?
Vogue Williams
I think my dad is being reincarnated.
Joanna
Of course.
Vogue Williams
Yes.
Joanna
That makes sense. Freddy's back. Yeah. The baby's gonna come out smoking a cigar. I smoked up a storm on Traders, but it was literally just out. I was like, I'm smoking. Because they were just long days. And you were like, there's just, you know, you're kind of like breaking up the time. But then I was like, joanne, this is like. It's really. You know, I know. I haven't. I'm not the first one to bring this information to the table. It's really bad for you.
Vogue Williams
I know, but I did it in the jungle. I was smoking. Yeah. And. And the security guards were like, God, it's a busy day at the office for you, Vogue. You came not smoke. I feel Dan, I'm like, I'm back.
Joanna
I know. It's literally. It just kind of eats into a bit of standing around time. And there is always a lot of standing around time with tv. It's kind of, you know, there's a lot of resetting of cameras on your own.
Vogue Williams
Yeah. You're not on your. Well, you were on your own more than I would have been on my own. I was never on my own.
Joanna
Well, I was out smoking with Jerry Hall.
Vogue Williams
I heard. I. A journalist came up to me at the BAFTAs and was like. And was like, joanna's really good friends with Jerry Hall.
Joanna
I was like, yes.
Vogue Williams
He was like, she's always outside. She's always outside smoking with her.
Joanna
And I was, yes, Jerry was out. Well, I. I mean, obviously, everyone adores Jerry Hall. She is iconic. But I think she had a big birthday party and we were all. She was telling us all about it and everyone was like, did anyone get the nod?
Vogue Williams
Did anyone get the knot?
Joanna
Of course we didn't. Jerry's gone back to her glamorous life. And actually. I was gonna say Texas. She actually lives in the UK in
Joe
July, she's going to be 70.
Joanna
She's going 70 in July, though.
Vogue Williams
Gosh. You didn't get. You didn't get a Nod to the 70th.
Joanna
You want, like, isn't there still time?
Vogue Williams
What's the point of doing the traders. This is meaningless. I asked you to be friends with
Joanna
one person I know was Jerry Hall.
Vogue Williams
We have emails. Joanne, are you prepared for an email?
Joanna
I believe so.
Vogue Williams
It's called, okay, your work situationship or Younger lads love it.
Joanna
Why did I have a. Why do I have an immediate repulsive reaction to that last caption?
Vogue Williams
Not that my kids. We play.
Joanna
My God, Joe, are you playing?
Joe
Not in a problematic.
Joanna
There's no investing these emails. You're just banging them all through to Vogue.
Vogue Williams
We play. We play. Would you rather. On the way to school.
Joanna
Right.
Vogue Williams
And she's used that again. We play like, would you rather get in a bath full of vomit or a bath full of crickets? That kind of stuff. And then she usually goes out with. Would you rather marry a child or marry an adult? I was like, hang on, Gigi, I'm gonna have to explain something to you.
Joanna
That is hilarious.
Vogue Williams
Get dark. The way to school.
Joanna
She's keeping across global news and taking in information from Afghanistan. Good for her. Gigi. Maybe. Maybe she's going to be a political journalist, quite possibly in heels. We'd love to see it. Okay.
Vogue Williams
Okay, here we go. Hi, girlos. I turned 37 in December, and since then, my libido has been through the roof. Interesting. I have been constantly hooking up with younger men, one to four a week, and have learned a lot. How the. Like, how is that happening?
Joanna
I tried one to four a week.
Vogue Williams
Yeah. When I was single, I tried really hard. I got one in six months. One to four.
Joanna
Okay, read on, read on.
Vogue Williams
For starters, most of them are really respectful and bring their own condoms. They love a full bush and leg hair.
Joanna
Okay.
Vogue Williams
Really ripped ones with abs are attracted to my belly and stretch marks. I want to spread the words that this is a viable option for those in their 30s, because, I mean, it's not like you're. You're turning 90 here. You're 37. Because it's so much fun. It's been such a journey. Happy to answer questions. Please keep me anonymous for obvious reasons.
Joanna
Answer questions.
Vogue Williams
I haven't told any.
Joanna
What are we, two frigid aliens?
Vogue Williams
Yeah, yeah. She's like, hey, girl, last time you got the right.
Joanna
Like, just flagging that I have a sex life. Joanne, you clearly don't happy to answer any questions.
Vogue Williams
I haven't told. I haven't told anyone else in my life because of religious guilt. Okay, so what happens then?
Joanna
They are a new generation of our generation of man. They are as brainwashed and traumatized as we are because they were raised on all this weird. They're like, we. I know we were victims of heroin cheek, but I. Men were also brainwashed into thinking that was like, hot and sexy. Whereas now they're a new generation. They're young, they. They're not raised on that. They're. They're more progressive, I would say, than our generation of men. Do you know what I mean?
Vogue Williams
I think. I think everyone's into different body types. It doesn't. Like, you don't have to be one body type for.
Joanna
No, of course. But I think our, like, the men who are our age were as brainwashed as we were. And like, I think when skinniness was fetishized so much that now I do think that has shifted and it's obviously, it's as playing out in men's tastes as well, which is fantastic. I don't know what I'm saying. Does any of this make sense?
Vogue Williams
I know, yeah, it does. I would like to end that with. I forgot to tell you, I have an arse now. My arse has grown like. It's like a good arse.
Joanna
Congratulations.
Vogue Williams
On its own. Didn't have to do anything. It's not. Love is working out, it just has grown.
Joanna
It's a great reason to have a child.
Vogue Williams
I'm absolutely thrilled. I don't know what I'll miss more, the boobs or the arse. I don't know.
Joanna
I thought I did. I did. I did see a trotting past there the other day. I said, jesus, someone's had a bbl.
Vogue Williams
I'm only telling you. It's because I got out of the shower there and I caught a glimpse of it in the mirror and I was like, holy, who owns that? And it was me.
Joanna
Good for you, Vogue.
Vogue Williams
Thank you. Oh, by the way, my book is out on paperback here she is. Big mate. Supposedly people wait around for paperback. I'm. I'm just too impatient. But if you have been waiting for the paperback, Big Mouth is out now.
Joanna
I spent a lot of time in airports. I often buy books in airport shops and I would not buy a hardback because I'm like, there's no. I'm not dragging that around Australia for a month. So I was usually. I. Usually I'd be more drawn to a soft back.
Vogue Williams
They're much cheap. Well, no, but they're much cheaper as well. But I was in the airport the other day and I went to buy this book and she told me my bill. I was find the crisps and Sweets as well. 30 quid. I was like, I'm not paying 30 quid for that book. I put it back.
Joanna
Yeah, good for you supporting your fellow writers.
Joe
But do go out and buy my paperback.
Vogue Williams
I will. I will wait for the paperback. Paperback is 10.99. I'm not paying 30 quid for a book. Yeah, 99 paperback.
Joanna
Anyway, congratulations on the paperback, I'm sure. And the arts.
Vogue Williams
Thank you very much. I appreciate that. Yeah, it's been a good week for me all around.
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Vogue Williams
This has been a global player.
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If you work in university maintenance, Grainger considers you an MVP because your playbook ensures your arena is always ready for tip off and Grainger is your trusted partner offering the products you need all in one place from H Vac and plumbing supplies to lighting and more. And all delivered with plenty of time left on the clock. So your team always gets the win. Call 1-800-granger. Visit grainger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.
In this week’s lively "extra" episode, Vogue and Joanne tackle everything from neighborhood politics and annoying pigeons to the joys (and woes) of pregnancy, age, libido, and changing bodies—with their trademark wit and incisive, no-filter honesty. Sparked by an anonymous email about sexual liberation at 37, the conversation spirals hilariously across generational attitudes, neighborly WhatsApp group drama, body image, and why paperback books matter.
The highlight of the episode is an email from a listener who, after turning 37, claims her libido is "through the roof" and shares stories of frequent hookups with younger men.
The listener notes how younger men are often respectful, come prepared, and are “into” authentic, natural bodies—contrasting with perceived attitudes from previous generations.
Joanne and Vogue reflect on how beauty standards and male preferences have shifted over generations, with an emphasis on greater acceptance and less fixation on "heroin chic" or one-size-fits-all ideals.
Vogue and Joanne riff candidly about pregnancy body changes. Vogue shares her surprise at growing a new, shapely bum:
Joanne jokes about Vogue’s pregnancy dragging on and relates to the experience of craving odd smells—specifically, smoke—even as a non-smoker.
The two discuss the toxicity and drama of neighborhood WhatsApp groups, sharing fears about being the gossip or the troublemaker.
Package theft (or "misplacement") becomes a running joke after Vogue describes her groceries repeatedly going missing.
Vogue and Joanne discuss the comedic realities of family, including Vogue's mother's sayings and her parents’ routines.
Vogue also shares funny moments about her own children’s “would you rather” games—demonstrating kids’ hilariously dark and absurd imaginations.
On Changing Standards
On Authenticity
On Parenthood
On Pregnancy Cravings
On Self-Discovery
True to the My Therapist Ghosted Me spirit, the episode is fast-paced, irreverent, and peppered with sly banter and self-aware asides. Joanne and Vogue don’t shy from discussing traditionally taboo or awkward subjects, particularly as they relate to women in their 30s and beyond.
In another delightfully unfiltered episode, Vogue and Joanne celebrate changes in confidence, sexuality, and body positivity that come with age, all while skewering neighborly drama, family quirks, and cultural clichés—wrapped up, as ever, in warmth and absurd hilarity. Whether you’re hunting for advice, a laugh, or a relatable take on growing older and bolder, this episode delivers it with the honesty and outrageousness fans love.