My Therapist Ghosted Me: MTGM EXTRA! "Is this cheating?"

Hosts: Vogue Williams, Joanne McNally, Joe Atiwell
Release Date: April 8, 2026

Episode Overview

In this bonus episode, Vogue, Joanne, and guest Joe Atiwell dig into the complicated territory of "what counts as cheating" in relationships. The heart of the show is a listener email about her fiancé's drunken escapade on a stag do, prompting the trio to offer their signature brutally honest, unfiltered advice—laced with irreverent humor and candid personal anecdotes.
Main Theme: Navigating boundaries and trust in romantic relationships, especially when honesty becomes uncomfortable.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Uber Anecdotes & Creepy Cancellations ([00:10]–[01:38])

• Vogue kicks things off with a story about Uber drivers in China using scary profile pictures to scare riders into cancelling, thereby collecting cancellation fees—a clever (if devious) "business plan."
• Joanne reacts: "That, like, that's like something you would do. That's smart. I like it." ([01:06])
• Both share their comically blasé attitudes toward getting into strangers’ cars, joking that they're insulted not to be prime victims for abduction: "They don't abduct women our age, Vogue. It's... actually insulting, to be honest." ([01:31])

2. Summer Plans & Friendship Banter ([02:37]–[03:31])

• Lighthearted teasing about upcoming summer holidays, Beat the Boss, poolside lounging, and friend group logistics.
• Joanne jokes: "I'll be floating around your paddling pill. Don't worry, I'll be here." ([03:24])

3. Diving into Listener Emails: "Is This Cheating?" ([03:31]–[15:15])

• The main discussion begins after Vogue reads a listener dilemma about her fiancé's night out.
• Joanne immediately bets it’s cheating: "If you feel like it's cheating, it's cheating." ([04:05])
• Vogue and Joanne riff on female intuition and the need to trust one's gut.

a. The Listener's Story: Drunk Dancing and Confessions ([05:41]–[08:18])

• Listener reveals trust was shaken after fiancé admitted to "sexy dancing" (grinding, aroused, hand on another woman's bum) with a woman during a stag do, stopping only when she tried to kiss him. He then went home alone and later confessed to masturbating while thinking of her.
• Joanne’s incredulous:
  • "What man goes home and tells their partner that they feel guilty about sexy dancing?" ([06:48])
  • "Why is he telling her this? That's so mean." ([08:18])

b. The Honesty Paradox: Honorable or Selfish? ([08:22]–[14:27])

• Joe suggests the confession was about relieving his own guilt, not helping the partner.
  • Joe: "The reason I think he's telling the truth is because there's an element of selfishness to being that honest. It's absolving him his own guilt." ([13:25])
• Joanne sums up: "When you tell someone that you cheated on them, it's basically like asking them to take a bullet for you." – referencing Esther Perel ([13:45])

c. The Impact of Unasked-For Honesty

• Both women express anger and confusion at the fiancé’s TMI:
  • "We don't want to know that you're thinking about riding other women. I don't want to know. Why are you telling me? Now I hate you." ([12:19])
• The consensus is that the confession is damaging and selfish:
  • "It's kind of juvenile. We all do it. But, like, why tell me you're doing it?" ([12:44])

4. Is It Actually Cheating? ([15:15]–[15:57])

• Both grapple with the label, recognizing emotional pain but the act didn’t cross into physical cheating.
  • Vogue: "So do we think it's cheating or not? No, we don't think it's cheating." ([15:15])
• Joanne is less sure: "Like what man comes home and gives crumbs like that? Like why on Earth, would you do that? Why is he a priest?... It's like self harm." ([15:28])

5. Sexual Thoughts, Fantasies & Crossing the Line ([16:03]–[16:42])

• The panel joke about the absurdity of admitting every sexual fantasy, with Joanne quipping:
  • "If that was the case, we'd all be in the guillotine." ([16:03])
  • "I'm not waking up and telling my partner that doesn't exist that I rode Kevin Bacon for nine hours the night before. Like, just let it go." ([16:27])
• Side tangent about Kevin Bacon being married to his cousin, providing much-needed comic relief.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Joanne: "We need to just work towards the orgasm woman's commune that we have spoken about building several times." ([04:17])
• Vogue: "This is like, inside thoughts that he has brought outside. Like you don't bring the... like, if you see someone hot on the beach... you keep that to yourself!" ([10:45])
• Joe: "There's an element of selfishness to being that honest. It’s absolving his own guilt." ([13:25])
• Joanne: "When you tell someone that you cheated on them, it's basically like asking them to take a bullet for you." ([13:45])
• Joanne: "I'd love to be the type of woman who's like, oh, I don't care that you were grinding up against some young one in a club and wanked over when you got home. But I'm not. So don't tell me about it." ([15:01])

Takeaways & Tone

• Host Wisdom: Both hosts agree that gut feelings, boundaries, and self-protection are key; brutal honesty is not always the right move.
• Humor: Even the heaviest sections are lightened by the hosts’ irreverent banter.
• Advice: Don’t overshare with your partner, especially confessions made to ease personal guilt. Think before you drop emotional bombs in the name of honesty.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Uber Anarchy & Vulnerability Banter: [00:10]–[01:38]
• Friendship and Summer Plans: [02:37]–[03:31]
• Listener Dilemma Introduced ("Is this cheating?"): [03:34]–[05:41]
• Main Confession (Sexy Dancing, Masturbation, Aftermath): [05:41]–[08:18]
• Panel Reactions & Debate: [08:22]–[13:45]
• Esther Perel & Bomb-Dropping Honesty: [13:45]–[14:57]
• Conclusion—Is It Cheating? Final Thoughts: [15:15]–[16:42]

Final Word

A sharp, funny, and empathetic exploration of relationship grey areas, this episode is a must-listen for anyone baffled by blurry boundaries. The hosts affirm: sometimes honesty is less kind than keeping something to yourself—especially when it’s a “sad little wank.”