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A
This is a global player original podcast. I want it on the record now. I'd like to be. I'd like to donate myself, all of myself.
B
I've got a degree from Harvard.
A
Deal.
B
You were never an issue. Not once. Once you close the bedroom door when Joanne's over.
A
I struggle to contribute here because I'm gr. I'm gross.
B
Well, we just did the pod. Hello and welcome to. My therapist ghosted me. With me, Vogue, Williams, Joe Atwell and Joanna somewhere around her room and a
C
vacant microphone somewhere in Australia.
B
She's putting on a lip. She's still got the shades on. Don't worry, she hasn't. She hasn't completely lost the mind. Shades are glued to the face.
A
Just putting a little lippy on there. Just putting a lip on.
B
That has made a big difference, I have to say. What a diff.
A
Do you know why I put a lip on?
B
Because you like my lipstick.
A
Well, because. Well, yeah, so of course, sure, let's make it about you. But otherwise. As I was waiting to log on, I heard Joe say, vogue, your hair looks nice today. And I felt a couple of things to Disgust. Jealousy. Yeah, Pet. Remorse. Sorry, Joe, I'm not sorry. Sorry. I'm not finished with all my feelings.
C
So sorry.
A
Legally threatened.
B
Yeah, fair.
A
Yeah. And I said I'm going to. I'm going to do two things. I'm going to put on a lip so I get a compliment and I'm also going to ring hor.
C
So what you have to be saying, your lips look nice today.
A
Oh, I'm sorry. Would that be such a stretch, Joe?
B
I think that that's a bit more sexual. The lips are just. They're just a sexual part.
A
They're my face lips. I'm not rubbing my crotch. Jesus.
B
Joanne just gone and pulled her dresses in and put some lip gloss on. Now, we know it's your face lips, but it's the same kind of thing.
A
Full Katy Perry and Rose. What's her face where one says she wrote her. I mean, can we just. Can we discuss that for a second?
B
I don't know what we discuss because obviously it's a legal case, but I think. I don't. Yeah. I don't make you feel weird because I'll start. I'm actually starting to give, like, context to things and it's really freaking Joanne.
A
It's upsetting me.
B
It worries her. That's her job. I read the emails.
A
Yeah, go on. I've had to open my meds. I'm. I'm very disturbed by the whole Thing, It's. I'm unsettled with the sudden context the fog was giving stories. I'm like, what's my role?
B
People are people.
A
Who am I now? I don't exist. I don't exist. She reads the emails now. She. Now she gives context. I don't understand what's the point of me.
B
I've only started realizing maybe I don't know where.
A
I don't even have. Joe doesn't even notice my lips.
B
My hair hasn't been done, by the way. Taddy did my hair two days ago. I know. I've noticed people. And I said. I text Ben and I was like, spent. I need your. I need your psychologist who did your ADHD test, which Spenny has. And I was like, I just to do it now because I've started noticing people are like, what? Because I'm like going in and out of conversation so much. I think they think that there's something wrong with me, which there is. But I'm. That's why I'm trying my best to be like, okay, let people understand what you're talking about.
A
Sorry. Oh, I understand. Yeah, fair enough. And I. And I do think it is useful and helpful because. Because there is nothing worse than listening to two people talking absolute without any. When they've no respect for the fact that you, you know, you don't know what they're talking.
B
I know.
A
You know, fills the time, doesn't it?
B
I feel like I don't get a head start though now anymore, like, because I've always been ahead of everyone in the conversation and I don't care about where they are in it. But now I feel like we're starting at the same place and I don't
A
like, yeah, you need to cut. You need. We need to catch you on the. On the tbc. No, not the tbc. That's to be confirmed. What's that? That's what? Tcb.
B
Tcb. That's the one.
A
So couple of things now. A couple of things are going on this week. And me and Vogue, we've always been very clear. We stay in our lane and our lane is furry rainbows and fiddly sticks. However. Oh, here we go.
B
Be weird if she was ever in a hotel. It's like she times it that, like, it will be delivered when we are only online.
A
Oh, my God, dinner's here.
B
She's got a crate or something. What the hell is in there?
C
That's like an entire case of wine she's just had pushed through the door.
B
We don't know how long she's in Sydney for. Oh, God, I just. I wish I liked wine. Well, do you know what I know? Offense, Joanne or Joe, I used to associate wine with, like, billionaires on yachts. Joanne. Sorry, I'm just. I want to. I want to caveat. No offense. Just before I say this, I used to think of wine, like, as billionaires on yachts, like, sipping, like, glasses of red wine and stuff. And I always used to think it was super fun.
A
I can see where. I can see where this is going. And I'll tell you now. Offense taken. Offense taken.
B
But I smell.
A
I always go offense.
B
I always wanted to be like one of those, like, glamorous people in, like, those clubs in Santa Trope. I've never been Santa Fe, but, like, with a chilled glass of wine and then you two yobs. The way you drink pints of wine. Pint in front of me, I'm like, I don't know how classy this is.
A
Sorry, that is not a pint. It is a. That's like. That's a. That's. That's one of those glasses you put your mouth wash in at the sink at a hotel.
B
It actually is.
A
There's no wine glasses in this room.
B
Yeah, but you guys think that I'm a loser because I want to order milk at the table. Like, the state of you two with your pints of wine sitting there thinking you're classy. Well, you're not. You look like trash.
A
I don't think. I don't think. Well, in fairness, now, you can say what you want by myself and Joe Ashy Wells, but I don't think either of us have ever claimed to be classy, have we, Joe?
C
Not once. No. Thank you.
A
Not a crustacean between us. Anyway, before.
B
Before I did this podcast, people actually did have the perception that there was a bit of class. To me. By the way, I'll have you. Yeah.
A
And thank. And thank God.
B
Not people.
A
We fixed that for you. You're welcome.
B
Not people. I knew, obviously, but stranger, she might be classy.
A
Me and Joe work, work night and day to make you relatable. It is a full time job. We work through the night dragging down PowerPoint presentations, plans. We're like pushing little boats around maps to make you. You're welcome.
B
So someone mailed me and they were like, oh, my God, I just saw you on my flight and you were flying economy. I was really taken aback. We fly it off and I should post about that more.
A
Yeah, you should, you should, you should. You should be you should be checking into the Dartmoor. The Dart is our kind of train system in Ireland, folk. I would recommend that.
B
John. I've been on the Dart more recently than you've been on the Dart. When was the last time you were on the Dart? How many years?
A
So this isn't a competition. Vogue. I am in Australia on a tour. Excuse you. I don't have time to get the Dart. Okay.
B
What public transport system do they have in Australia? Do you even know?
A
Yeah, it's a long black car with blackout windows. Driver wears a little hat and he's called Charles. That's all I know.
B
Ah, okay.
A
Oh, God.
B
So Ruby Rose and Katy Perry. Ruby Rose is an Australian. She was. She started out as a dj. She's beautiful. She's this Australian dj. And then she went into acting and she was doing quite a lot of acting and she was doing Orange is the New Black and like, really big shows. But from what I gather, she was quite difficult to work with and then ended up stopping doing stuff like that because of the difficulties. I don't actually know too much about it other than she was. She used to be Catwoman and then she kind of lost the. The job as Catwoman because she was very difficult to work with. Anyway, she has come out and claims that Katy Perry sexually assaulted her years ago in a nightclub by rubbing her vagina. Her vagina in her face.
A
I'm gonna say it. I'm gonna say it. I'm gonna say this now and now look, I am not a solicitor. I am not a psychiatrist.
B
Are you not?
A
I know, I know, I know. I actually. I met. I meant to say that to you a couple years ago because I know you think that I am those things, but I'm nos.
B
Yeah, Yeah.
A
I just bought the paperwork online in Abu Dhabi, but I'm not actually qualified. But I actually agree.
B
From Harvard.
A
Do you.
B
Sorry, yeah, you wouldn't know actually, but
A
you not remember I did that, like, weekend course about cholera from Harvard, have these online courses? Yeah, you're sorry, you brought it up now, aren't you? Yeah, remember now I have a degree in cholera. It took me two days. Anyway, that's not the point.
B
What a useful degree, actually.
A
Well, it actually is really useful because I really enjoyed it. I find it quite pleasant.
B
Theodore would love for you to talk to him about cholera because he has a Tony that tells him about all these olden day diseases.
A
Oh, really?
B
Yeah, he loves it.
A
I actually picked up a book. I was. I was sauntering around a bookshop the other day. Looking for Louise Oneills new book Whatever Happened to Madelinestown? Which isn't. Hasn't quite made it to Australia. It is out but. But it hasn't made it to Australia yet. Although then I. Then I rang Louise. I was like where's the fucking book? And she was like it is there somewhere. I was like well it's not in Boffin's bookshop in Perth. Anyway, I was walking around killing time and there was a book on the book title was Everything Leads to Tuberculosis. So obviously I picked it up, had a read of the back and I like this a bit of me now and I look forward to. I didn't buy it in the end. It was about the fact that like we'll never get rid of tuberculosis and the history of tuberculosis. But I look forward to when Theodore is old enough that we can discuss Maggie.
B
He is old enough. He abs. Because you know Adam K, the, the. He wrote this is Going to Hurt and he's a comedian as well. He's absolutely brilliant. And he basically. He writes. He writes some kids books that are really, really funny. Yeah. He does these Tonys and on the Tony's like usually I go into Te's room and I take the Tony down. It's a box of play stories he has.
A
I raised my. For the listener. I raised my hand there which I do know for her to explain herself a Tony. I thought it was like an award. I thought yeah, he's looking.
B
It's like.
A
It's like theatrical awards. Okay.
B
He's a few. And one of his like K's marvelous medicines. And like I usually go in because some of them are very childish and like there's a Peppa Pig one and I'll just take it off and put the Tony away. When they fall asleep, I go in to get teas and sometimes I stop and I'm standing there for ages listening to out and he's talking about like he's telling them about grave robbers. So like intoxicated when people. People used to rob graves.
A
Yeah.
B
Medical science. So like. And they have to like try and like stop. It was so like it was happening so often that they had to try and find ways. Honestly, I was standing there for 15 minutes. I was like, folk, get out. Come on.
A
No one would donate their bodies because no one cared about science. And they were so religious at the time that it was sacrosanct. They wouldn't do it. So the doctors and scientists would just hire people to go out and rob the bodies. Thank God that's how you will one day be treated for your syphilis
B
if
A
it wasn't for these people. Like, once you're dead, you're dead. After I listen to that podcast, Joe,
B
please don't say you don't believe in the afterlife.
A
Joe. What was the podcast I listened to?
C
What was it about?
B
Says you weren't giving out about my context. What podcast did I listen to, Joe? Oh, hang on a second till I climb inside your brain.
A
After I listen to the podcast Noble, which I have spoken about on here before and recommended on Insta, which was the story, True story podcast about a funeral home, which basically this guy inherited the funeral home from his father.
B
Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember this. I remember that.
A
And then things got out of control. He didn't keep up with the business. He couldn't cope with us. Ultimately, I think he just didn't. He didn't want the business, but he didn't want to let his father down. And then it transpired that he hadn't been taking care of the bodies the way you're supposed to, and it went to court, and it was all about, like, the legalities of, you know, what is it if you don't treat a body well, kind of thing, like, you know, because they're already dead. So, like, what are the legalities behind us? Where was. Why am I talking about this? So sorry. Yeah. So to circle back around. After I listened to Noble, I was like, yeah, I don't think I care what they do with my body. Like, I don't think I. I think when you're gone, you're gone. The soul is gone.
B
No. And now I. I know somebody, though, who works within medicine and has worked on. On medical bodies, and I've seen pictures, and it's. Think it's going to be. Some of these bodies are like 30, 40 years old. Just keep calling them back out. Oh.
A
Because no one will donate. And I want it on the record now. I'd like to be. I'd like to donate myself, all of myself.
B
Okay, well, we'll watch Dan get shot out of it, honestly, see how far it goes.
A
I swear to God. And I know it's. It's. It's very undignified. Some of the stuff they do, it's like, proper. It's not the stuff you want. But then imagine. But imagine you're part of the cure for cataracts.
B
Listen, I'm happy. I'm happy to donate my organs and all that stuff.
A
Yeah.
B
I don't actually have a card, but I think if you don't Have a card. You're just assumes that you will donate your organ. So I am going to donate my organs. But I just, I want. I just want to have a resting place.
A
But you also have to die in a very specific way to be able to donate your organs. You have to be.
B
And I plan to.
A
Okay. Anyway. Stunning. So we've all. Joe, you haven't suggested you're gonna donate anything.
C
Oh yeah, no, that's. They can have the lot. I don't care. The whole board just do, do what you need. Fire it into space, whatever.
A
Yeah, okay, well I wouldn't like to
B
be in space on my own.
A
Oh no, no, you're grandfather. I'm not, I'm not being bad. But you're. That's not, that's not your future. So I'm gonna say this. I don't say. And I, I. Look, I could be wrong. We don't have the inside scoop. We're just consuming the same shit on the Internet as everyone else. But I feel very, very. I have a lot of sympathy for Katy Perry. I think Katy Perry has been put through the ringer of late. Between the tour show that didn't go well. Everyone was slagging her off between her ex. Russell Brand is now come out. Admittedly wrote a 16 year old like blah blah, blah, whatever. Like whatever, whatever way that goes. We'll watch that play out. It's not a great connection. And now Ruby Rose has come out and said she was sexually. Also she's broken up with your man Orlando Bloom. Now she is randomly going out with the French. What was your man's crown?
B
Justin. Justin.
A
French presence. Justin Trudeau, Canadian Prime Minister. Am I correct?
B
Yeah, yeah.
A
Is he still. Is he still acting Prime Minister? Is he retired? Retired. Anyway, that's a wild setup. Who set that up anyway? And now she's been accused of sexual assault by your one Ruby Rose. Now we believe all women, blah blah blah. But in the same breath you have to unpack this. If someone goes large with an accusation online, you're like this ruins people's lives. And the little bit that I've read around it, I'm like, it sounds like they're all locked and acting the bollocks in a nightclub. That's what it sounds like to me. Ruby Rhodes has a history of kind of very fatalistic behavior, I would say. But Vogue, you know. You know. And I know what it's like when there's an article now more so you. My articles are like, thank God, touch wood. Few and far between. Imagine articles going around you're accused of sexual assault. That is a big fucking swing. That is a massive, massive swing.
B
I feel like there is going to be a little turn for Katy Perry because I do feel like. Did you see Hailey Bieber as well?
A
Space thing. The space thing didn't happen.
B
I know, but I think, I think though that like even with Hailey Bieber, Hailey Bieber went through loads of. And then she's come out. Yeah. She said, oh, I don't need your apologies. I've done the therapy. Thank you. Yeah, I think with Katy Perry, I'm not really sure. I know it's a terrible article obviously to go out about you and just something so insane but like it's kind of the word.
A
I know, murder really.
B
But I think with the Russell Brown stuff, I think that her association with him is less now because he treated her like so. But Russell Brand coming on and basically trying to say, well, I was a very young 30 year old sleeping with a 16 year old. So it was okay. It's like, hang on. Okay, so they're young and 16, but you're 30 and should know just because you can sleep with a 16 year old. Listen, 30 year old man, you should be sleeping with a 16 year old.
A
What I will say is there are so many men, there are so many third year olds who are riding 16 year olds. There are so many 30 year old men who want to ride 16 year olds. Like there's no point pretending he's like a once off. There's no point. It's. It doesn't help anyone.
B
And the fact that he has a following the way he does and people actually like, oh, you're right, it's like how do we live worlds that it's.
A
He's moved into, he's. He's gone through the Christianity pipeline now which means he's in a safe space. You can go through the Christianity pipeline. I'm just saying he is not, he is not an unusual version.
B
No, of course he isn't. Of course he is.
A
No, that's all I say. That's all I say. Allegedly. Blah, blah, blah. The way Joe likes us to say all the time. Emails.
B
Like an email. There you go. Okay. Right, I'm gonna read Petty.
A
Perfect.
B
Yeah. Petty. Yes, hi, love the pod. Thought I would let you know my latest Petty move since I haven't heard any in a while. Please keep me in on.
A
We took people. Do people still email us, Joe, we must do a shout out.
C
I mean there are more than we could ever get through. Thank you.
A
Really. Oh, thank God. That's great news.
C
Sorry to get to all of them, but I do read all of them. I should say actually as well for those of you, and this does happen quite often, who send an email and then 12 hours later you send another email saying, actually, please don't read this out because I've decided against it. I always see that email. And don't worry, your email will never go in.
B
No, we don't even. We don't even get to read it.
A
No, we don't read that. No. And Joe, in fairness, Joe is. Yeah, he's a. He's a safe guy.
B
He's a.
A
He's. He's a. He's a good guy. Yeah.
B
Me and my ex broke up as among many reasons. I saw him trying to meet up with someone he used to sleep with on field on a work trip. Apparently that was only a dick move if I don't trust him. When we lived together, he used to drop. So if it meant she didn't. He was like, oh, you don't trust me?
A
Oh, wow. Okay, we're gaslighting when we. The gas. Let's go, there's a fire. Okay.
B
When we lived together, he used to drop his daily contact lenses on the floor by the bed, leaving a mountain of crusty tiny balls which was inevitably spread around the house. And he never hoover them up. That's disgusting. We agreed he would put them in a little gross box by the bed. Why he couldn't put them in a bin, I still don't understand. In a bid to be helpful, as he was moving out, I collected some of his stuff into bags. In an instinctively petty move, I emptied the box of crusty used contact lenses into one of the bags of clothes for him to pick apart from his clothes for months to come. It's the small things, isn't it?
A
Sorry, can I say and this says more about me than this person. I thought that was going to a much darker place.
B
I thought she was saying like sewing fish into curtains.
A
I thought she was putting cyanide in the contact lenses or a toilet dog and she was going to blind them. He used to fish them out. Good enough for him.
B
He seems a bit grim that I don't even think he'll probably notice that they are on the clothes.
A
I think you were very estranged and he's sound like a very kind person and he was absolutely going to try and ride that woman. So you've done the right thing. Fair play.
B
I also think that sometimes when he like people that you have to like living with somebody is really difficult. And like, I remember I used to be kind of dating this guy, I might have said it before. And he used to smoke rollies and he would just leave everywhere. It was just like everywhere, all over the place. And I was like, it's just the dirtiest habit to be going around and like, leaving crusty contact lenses. I know I couldn't live with someone like that. I've.
A
Yeah, I. I struggle to contribute here because I'm. I'm gross.
B
You're not that. You're not that gross. You're not crusty. I don't know. Actually, maybe you are. Are you?
A
I like. I like to do what I like to do. And that's why I find living with people difficult because when traditionally the men that I've lived with have been kind of more domestic than me, and then they give out to me, and then I can't bear being given out to by them. And then I want to move out. And then we start fighting and it just goes around and around in circles.
B
Well, can I be honest? When you used to live downstairs, Never a problem with you downstairs. You were never an issue. Not once. Close the bedroom door when Joanne's over, it disappears. Gone.
A
Dora just set fire to that wing.
B
Don't bother. Door. That face is gone. We had one of Spen's friends saying. And he stayed for a couple of weeks when we were away and we were getting update pictures of how bad the entire apartment was looking. Like every single. It was like. It was like he had just. I didn't even know he owned that much stuff. It was so bad. So you were like a little.
A
I was fine. I do think there's a switch that you. There's something. It's. It's. It's a chromosome. You either have it or you don't. And I. For me to look like I'm kind of low level, organized or tidy takes serious work. It just does. And I just accept that about myself now. I just do. Yeah. But I think this woman was very restrained. You could have done a lot worse. Worse with his contact lenses. And you know what? At least he's fucking half blind. Fuck him.
B
Thanks for listening, everybody.
A
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Date: April 29, 2026
Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
Producer (occasional contributor): Joe
Main Theme:
A freewheeling, candid chat between Vogue and Joanne, blending comic banter, therapeutic honesty, listener dilemmas, and musings on everything from pop culture scandals to the challenges of living with others, all infused with their trademark irreverence.
In this extra episode, Vogue and Joanne dive into the hilarity and chaos of modern life, touching on everything from personal grooming rituals and public perceptions, to celebrity scandals and the surprisingly profound question of what happens to our bodies after we die. The episode keeps to its promise of "100% honesty guaranteed", blending heartfelt advice, sharp wit, and the odd tangent, all while highlighting the small things in life that can be both infuriating and deeply significant.
"I'm unsettled with the sudden context Vogue was giving stories. I'm like, what's my role?" (Joanne, 02:30)
"Someone mailed me... 'I just saw you on my flight and you were flying economy. I was really taken aback.'" (Vogue, 06:56)
"...when there's an article now, imagine articles going around you're accused of sexual assault. That is a big fucking swing." (Joanne, 16:10)
"He's gone through the Christianity pipeline now which means he's in a safe space." (Joanne, 17:54)
"I have a lot of sympathy for Katy Perry. I think Katy Perry has been put through the ringer of late." (Joanne, 14:22)
"I want it on the record now. I'd like to donate myself, all of myself." (Joanne, 13:22)
"They can have the lot. I don't care. The whole board just do what you need. Fire it into space, whatever." (Joe, 14:13)
"I thought she was putting cyanide in the contact lenses... Good enough for him." (Joanne, 20:33)
"...to look like I'm kind of low level organised or tidy takes serious work... I just accept that about myself now." (Joanne, 22:38)
The episode is fast-paced, irreverent, and deeply conversational. Vulgarity and playful insults are used affectionately among the hosts and towards public figures, always underscored by empathy and comic timing. The language is unfiltered (with expletives) and the tone alternates quickly between lighthearted teasing and moments of genuine honesty.
For listeners new and old, this MTGM EXTRA! is a quintessential romp through the hosts' shared psyche – messy, hilarious, compassionate, and always real. Whether dissecting pop scandals or the petty details of roommate revenge, Vogue and Joanne keep it real, subtly reminding us: "It's the small things, isn't it?"